Secrets, Part One

I was glad Wesley had pushed me to become so proficient at meditation. With everything that had happened, I remembered I had that way to block everything out. Meditation became my lifesaver. Despite naneth's silent glares that were now her protest and Eloril's own suggestions, I continued to wear my lilac dress. If I wanted to wear it, then I was going to wear it. It was nice to be able to move about more easily as generally the length of my normal dress does cause some problems. With the amount of problems I already had, the last thing I needed was one more frustration to deal with. Things had become more tense still between naneth and I when it was proven that I was pregnant with Rico's son. I was relieved that I wasn't having twins again. Naneth was upset I had let such a man conceive a child with me. She couldn't believe how I had slept with Rico was similar to how I had slept with most of the men who have helped me create my children. I didn't understand how she thought it would be any other way. What, did she think I was going to go through an extensive courting-like process for each father? I would be nowhere close to finishing the task if I went about it that way. As it is, I have now truly spent more time living amongst humans than I have with my own people.

The Presence

Honestly, I pretty much forgot about the time I spent with Henry. It had been a moment that was so routine and uninteresting compared to all the highs I had experienced with Wesley, so it took the bulging of my stomach to remind me that I was carrying another child. I became excited then. My first thought was hoping to have another girl, but there was a strangely confident thought within my mind whispering over and over again that the child would be a boy. I wanted to find out to prove my hopes superior, but this was not one of the pregnancies where I would find out ahead of time. I've done a good job up until this point of keeping to the tradition I decided on. It would have been a shame to break it.

Henry ended up being excited too when he heard I was pregnant. Sort of. His excitement certainly isn't anything compared to the real excitement that had been so obvious with Wesley when I was pregnant with Amonost and Adonnen. I'm just glad Henry is willing to try though, and isn't going to shirk off his responsibilities.

Warning

While it felt like the summer lasted forever, everything has been moving so quickly since then. I was astounded when it was time for Ris' birthday again. My adorable, cheerful little toddler changed into an adorable, cheerful little girl. The only time Ris isn't really cheerful is when I make her go outside. She has grown a dislike for the outdoors, which I naturally cannot understand. It boggles my mind how anyone cannot find the beautiful world of nature that gives birth to everything we use an amazing gift with which to be grateful for. Ris stubbornly stays inside though. I make sure then to keep her productive and active in order to make up for her lack of movement and exercise.

Success

My desire to visit Eleme had been strong for some time, but it took me longer than I liked to get the chance to see her. Eleme was just so busy with work, and with her schedule being ridiculously sporadic it was difficult to pin down an appropriate time for me to pop by. One calm afternoon finally came to her though. Her husband was out, but I was glad just seeing her and little Jasen. While Jasen does have Eleme's dark skin and hair and our family's green eyes, it's clear as day that he takes after his father when it comes to the structure of his face. Jasen is a quiet fellow, but you can understand by his expressions that he understands a lot more than his soft demeanor lets on.

One Chance

I woke up several hours later in my resort room. It was around mid-afternoon, and Wesley was lying there close to me. His eyes were closed so I expected him to be asleep, but as soon as I moved he sat up in a flash. I knew the malfunction that had happened with my gear which he told me about was not my fault, but I couldn't help but to feel guilty for worrying him so much. I think I worried him a bit more when I tried to tell him about the chest. Apparently, there hadn't been one. I was confused as it had seemed so real. I suppose the lack of oxygen affected my brain a lot faster than I realized though.

Wesley was adamant about us not going diving again. With the sharks and then this, there had just been too much bad luck. I agreed. I did, however, go swimming not long after I woke up completely against Wesley's protests. The fear of the water was settling within my chest, and I had to get over it sooner rather than later. I wasn't very worried about my safety since I felt perfectly fine after all that sleep and Raine was with me the entire time. We did have to spend a fair amount of time sitting at the pool bar drinking some juice first though before I was comfortable with actually swimming. In the end, I was glad I pushed myself. The fear was quickly forgotten.

Hopeless Dream

It was after several more days of practice and training when Wesley determined I was skilled enough to do some actual diving. I was excited when he gave me the good news, but nothing but nervous once it came time to put the gear on. All I could think about was the gear breaking or something going horribly wrong. Wesley reassured me time after time that nothing would happen. Even if there was an incident, he would be there to help me out.

It took us a while to get the suit to fit properly over my head. My ears hurt too badly being pressed so tightly, but it was difficult finding a way to poke them out without absolutely ruining the material. They really do get in the way sometimes. However, Wesley and I were successful at finding a solution. It was time to dive. I followed as Wesley led the way.

Struggling

I heard back from Rithranduil after several weeks of fretful waiting and being left in the dark. I was nervous when the phone call came, but I was mostly relieved when it was over. Kenya was alright with letting me keep their child since she knew me somewhat, and because I was the child's grandmother. What didn't leave me relieved was that Rithranduil hung up right after he gave me the anticipated due date. He didn't call again, and he wouldn't answer any of my calls. He always hides or sneaks out when I go over to Buddy's house. Like always, I felt hurt.

I ignored the hurt though when Menel's birthday came. It has been interesting and addicting in a way to watch her grow and change, for now she looks much more like herself than her father. Menel has truly come into her own. She was sad before since she wasn't able to do that much to help when everything seemed to be falling apart, so now she takes tasks and chores on readily. She makes sure our large yard is kept up with, there is always something to eat thanks to her, I have constant assistance when taking care of Elrandra and Emethien, and she even helps me do the paperwork for the bills.