The Beginning

How did it end up like this? Why did this have to happen to me? I know these questions have gone through the minds of others in worse predicaments than the one I'm facing, but I can't stop them from haunting every moment of my waking existence. I never thought I would be in this kind of situation, but here I am. I know I need to move forward, but all I can think of is the world I left behind...

Believe it or not, but I am actually an elf maiden of noble blood. Ellothiel is my name. I won't tell you what it means. No one here seems to care, and you are human anyway. You have probably forgotten that elves exist altogether. Our kind once lived with humans in peace, but our relationship was doomed from the start. You humans are obsessed with violence and the urgings of your bodies. My ancestors were caught up in your wars and slaughtered. Many of our people were used to satisfy your sexual cravings. When we could take it no longer, we separated ourselves from you. We built a large wall surrounding what land of ours we could salvage and rebuilt what we had lost.

My parents, Elrundir and Urelia, were integral in restoring the shattered hope of the elves. They were chosen to guide the citizens of the eastern-most part of our land. In your language you would call my parents the king and queen, but elves do not have such titles. Having ranks like those lead to the greed and desire that creates the wars of your people. Still, I cannot deny that my family is greatly blessed with wealth and adoration.

From the moment I was born, I was dressed in the finest silks and lacked nothing. I was beloved. My young beauty had the parents of noble sons practically begging my ada and naneth for the honor of their son marrying me one day. Perhaps the one to spoil me the most was my older brother- Eloril. He had always longed for a younger sibling, and I was the answer to his dream. My undying affection was his from the first moment he smiled at me.

Of course, my parents hold great sway in my heart as well. I am forever grateful to be their daughter. Despite our blessed life, they did not let me grow up arrogant. Like any place, some of our people seem to constantly be cursed by the comings of unfortunate situations. My ada and naneth often took Eloril and I with them to go provide assistance. I saw much pain and affliction, and wondered how I had been so lucky.

As I grew older, I joined Eloril in lessons. Naneth was our teacher. In many families it is the father that is stern, but such was not the case with us. Ada had always been easy for Eloril and I to manipulate. We really had to try if we were to get in trouble with him. Naneth was the opposite. There was little we could get away with.

She was harsher on me than she was on Eloril. It was very difficult to please her. No matter how hard I worked, I heard little praise and much correction. I never doubted for a moment that she loved me and wanted me to grow up strong and level-headed. However, I was ravished for a connection with her like what ada and Eloril had with each other. The two were as close as could be. The same could not be said for naneth and I. It was difficult to be truly comfortable around her.

That changed somewhat when I met Talron. The poor foal had lost both of his parents in a stable fire. He was entrusted to my care, and with some time the two of us were bonded. I thought I had saved him from his grief. Eventually, I realized I was very wrong. Some days he would seem alright, but on others he would constantly cry out for his mother. I could not do much to help other than to stroke his neck. It was this hurting creature in front of me that made me try harder to forge a better relationship with my naneth. While our relationship was not perfect, it did slowly improve as I grew older.

And Talron and I grew older together. Despite my naneth's protests, we would take long rides through the woods during the early morning. I would often lose track of the hour. Eloril had to come find us almost every time and bring me back.

He never minded though. The daily ritual gave us time to talk that we would not have later. Ever since he had reached the age of adulthood, Eloril had become an ambassador for our parents. If he wasn't helping to deal with paperwork, he would be off across our land meeting with those in need. I was glad he was doing good for our people, but I missed him a great deal.

I, on the other hand, had very little to do. I did all that I could, but I had to wait until adulthood before I was allowed to really be helpful. After my lessons, I would wander off by myself. One of my favorite spots grew to be a secluded flower patch near our great river. A dreamer, I could spend hours laying on the ground and staring into the endless sky. I'm sure some thought me a bit odd, but it helped me to relax from an endless stream of suitors coming to call.

Although I appeared frustrated sometimes from the constant attention, I did want to be married. I wanted to have what my parents had. It felt like it had taken an eternity, but I finally reached adulthood. More duties came my way, and I looked at my suitors more seriously. However, that day came. It was the day that forced me to where I am now. I took Talron out for our ride, but we returned alone that morning since Eloril was visiting the west. For a then unknown reason, I became worried very suddenly and unexpectedly.

I tried to brush the unexplainable feeling away, but its strength only grew. It became overwhelming. The negative premonition and dread I was experiencing almost dropped me to my knees. Talron had always been a source of comfort for me, but even as I held him tightly there was none to be found. I was summoned by my parents shortly after I took him back to the stable .

The expressions on their faces the moment I approached them did nothing to ease my burdened mind. They could not even look me in the eye. I feared something had happened to Eloril, and asked them what was wrong. They shocked me by saying an order had come from the Goddess last night. The Goddess is the creator of this world and all its inhabitants. Most of you humans have stopped believing in her though, but she has not forgotten you. It is because of you that the order was sent down for me to bear.

Ada and naneth told me the order was for me to go to the other side of the wall and deliver not only 100 children, but each conception had to be achieved with a different man. My mind ran blank, and I could not speak. None of what they had said made sense. We had received orders from the Goddess before, but never anything like that.

My parents continued on through my silence. Since you humans were destroying yourselves and the planet through your violence and unclean lifestyles, the Goddess wanted the blood of elf and man to mix. That was why I had to deliver 100 children through different fathers. The children would not be immortal like us, but they would be just and fair and full of love for life. Passing down these traits to their own children would eventually help restore the old glory of the humans and restore the strength of the earth. It had been told to my parents that each child would influence those who would help great change to come about or would otherwise be the source of change themselves.

I overcame my silence, and shouted out loudly in protest. It surprised my parents for I had rarely ever raised my voice. I did not understand this order, and I would not do it! Why should it just be me? Why not have 100 elf women each bare one child instead? But then, that idea was preposterous as well! We elves are chaste. To give oneself away before marriage is akin to murder. Surely I was not expected to marry each man before baring his child? Then what was to happen when this ridiculous task end and I return? I had so many options then, but what man would want me after being touched by so many others?

I tried to argue. I tried to save myself. 

It was futile.

I knew as well as my parents did that the Goddess' orders were absolute. It didn't matter that I did not understand. It didn't matter that I loathed this task more with every beat of my heart. If I refused, my punishment would be exile. It was impossible to determine which fate before me was worse. Ada and I looked at the floor; naneth stared sadly at me. She apologized, and I began to cry. Some human money had been collected, and a home had been chosen for me in a town my parents thought would make me the happiest. We all knew the chances of me living a happy life anywhere again were gone.

I was to leave as soon as I was ready. My parents had never held me tighter. I saw ada cry for the first time in my life. I cursed the Goddess. How could she love you humans so much that she would put me through this ordeal? It would be better for everyone's sake to let your race die out. The elves could then reclaim our lost land and live the way we were meant to live.

And yet.....before my mind could even start to comprehend the situation, I found myself on the other side of the wall. My parents had not had the strength to see me off. Eloril had no idea of my cursed fate. My old life and everything I loved had seemingly vanished the moment I passed through that door.

I fell to my knees and wept. I cried for them to let me back in, but there was no one to hear my pleas. There was only the Goddess who had condemned me to be here. She was watching me, waiting for me to proceed forward. I could not move for some time. How I ever found the courage to stand up is a mystery to me. I wandered aimlessly for hours. Eventually I found the human contact, one of a small number we have, who was to take me to my new home.

I will never have a home outside of the wall. I can only think...

How.....

Why.....