Loneliness

It has been about a week since I left my home. The town that had been chosen for me to reside in is a great distance away from the elven lands. The contact took me there in some contraption called a car, and we traveled at a high speed every day. We only stopped to eat at places called fast food restaurants. Since I had no idea what they offered, the contact ordered for me. I cannot fathom how you humans suffer through such food or much less enjoy it. I quickly learned that the only option I could stomach from those places were the salads they served. Even then I had trouble forcing myself to place that fake food into my mouth. I hoped that normal meals would be less repulsive. Otherwise, I would starve long before I got anywhere close to returning home.

The contact and I stopped at inns to sleep, although he told me they were called hotels here. During our days of driving I had nothing to keep me entertained other than the "music" the contact had playing. It was only noise to me. I thought I was going to lose my mind. Relief actually overcame me when we reached the town- Appaloosa Plains. I expected the human side to be full of desolation and sickened land, but it seemed not everything had been corrupted yet. Though the appearance of the town was strange compared to what I am used to, it was still beautiful nonetheless. The same could not be said for my house.

I was not expecting a grand structure like my family's home, but even the unfortunate people in my land live in better conditions than the pitiful place I was presented. The contact told me this was all my parents could afford with the little human money they had access to. He handed me what was left of that money before he departed.

Now I was completely alone, and truly scared. I had no idea how far the money I had would take me. I knew though that money was everything to the retched others around me. Unfortunately, getting more would have to be an objective I currently had to strive for. My parents were able to obtain the paperwork to allow me to live here, but I was not able to apply for a job. That didn't really matter for I did not have the skills to get me employed in any human work anyway. I would have to earn my income through a different source.

After a bit of complication, I was able to purchase an easel. It took away more of my money than I wanted, but I have heard that artists can sell their works for large amounts of money here. I didn't think it would take all that long before I found myself in a more comfortable situation. However, I encountered a rather problematic issue. I had no idea what to paint or even how to begin.

It was naneth who had the artistic ability that I lacked. Ever since I could remember, she was producing the most amazing paintings. I could stand and watch her create for hours. She would be so lost in her work that she would forget that I was there. It wasn't a few times that she would end up bumping into me as she suddenly stood back to inspect her progress. Thankfully, she never became angry at me for getting in her way. While I was never as passionate about art as she was, I enjoyed it as it was those times when we were able to fully get along as Naneth was always willing to teach me more of what she knew. We could spend the whole day making a mess, and not even realize the sun had set. However, I was never able to create anything resembling the beauty of her works no matter how much I practiced..

After shaking myself out of my memories, I buckled down and started to paint. There was one thing I learned from all those days of lessons that has remained firmly engrained in my conscious. Naneth always told me that if I didn't know what to paint, I was to paint more until an idea struck me.

I was starting to get inspiration when a terrifying high pitch noise rang throughout my residence. I jumped in fright. My heart was racing a mile a minute! I was truly convinced something terrible was about to happen! I ducked behind the couch in terror until I spotted some humans standing outside my door. It was then that I remembered something my contact had told me. According to him, there was some sort of button next to my door that would make a bell sound. The noise was to alert me that someone at the door wanted to visit. Well, it certainly doesn't have to be that loud! But, I am an elf. My hearing is much keener than that of you humans. I suppose it must not be so obnoxious to you.

Having just arrived, I did not want to let strangers in my house. I didn't want to meet anyone ever, in fact. The less contact I had with anyone the better! After a few more seconds of being stubborn, I sighed in defeat. I would never be able to return home if I kept that attitude. Plus, the man and woman had spotted me through the large window facing the lane and were waiting. Even my peculiar behavior had not convinced them to leave. Putting on the best smile I could muster, I greeted them and allowed them to come inside. They introduced themselves as Oriole Bird and Tucker Donahue. They were there to welcome me to the area.

I was instantly and absolutely taken aback by Ms. Bird's attire. Did she not have any shame? I tried to ignore it as we started a polite conversation, but it was very distracting. I even grew embarrassed for her. She truly had no idea how ridiculous she looked. I thought to myself that if this is how many of your women dress, I could easily see why infidelity was rampant among humans. Your kind certainly don't know how to be subtle at all.

Our conversation was not very appeasing. Then Ms. Bird told me something unexpected. I was not thinking too much of her already, and then she blatantly admitted that she made her living doing criminal work! Is your world so backwards that being a criminal is not only an accepted lifestyle, but something one can casually converse about? This side of the wall really is corrupted! I quickly decided that Ms. Bird wasn't exactly someone with whom I would like to have as much of an acquaintance.

I turned around to see Mr. Donahue using that strange box against the wall. I was shocked to see it had come to life, and now had moving pictures dancing across its screen. Previously, I could not fathom what its purpose was. Now I saw it was some form of entertainment device.

Although in the back of my mind I was disgusted with myself, I thought that I should try to impress Mr. Donahue. I needed to build relationships with the men here if I was to ever finish this awful task. I greeted him formally with a curtsey. It was only a small one. If I was greeting an elf man for the first time I would have put more effort into it, but a small one was all I could manage for a human.

His conversing was slightly more entertaining than Ms. Bird's. I was not sure what to think of the fact that he does not hold down a job. The idea of a having a child with a man who could not theoretically support it was unappealing. He made my opinion of him worse when he bluntly asked me to give him some money. I almost smacked him! It was perfectly clear to anyone with a brain that I was not well off. How did he think it was proper in any way to invite himself over unannounced before requesting currency as if requesting a cup of tea? To make thing even worse still, it was revealed through our conversation that he had plenty of money already! He had inherited much from his family members that had passed on. What kind of wealthy man tries to mooch off a poor woman he only just met?! His behavior was obviously doing nothing to improve my view of you humans. He was only confirming that everything I believe is true.

Still, I knew I had keep Mr. Donahue in mind if I ever became desperate...

I joined him in watching the strange box despite my quickly growing dislike for him. He was very interested whatever tale it was telling, but I did not see much point to to the whole thing. All I could focus on was making sure he did not notice my distaste for the box and him.

Eventually, I asked the two of them to leave. My tolerance had been stretched to its limit. They had been lucky I had let them in at all. I only had done so in hopes that conversing with them would help fill the loneliness that has begun to overtake me. However, their presence did absolutely nothing. In fact, now that I could see just how truly different humans are from my kind I felt more alone than ever. I wanted to dash out the door, and run all the way back home. If I kept myself hidden in our lands, then they couldn't exile me as you can't kick out what you can't find.

Naturally, I did no such thing. I was stuck in this place for goodness knows how long. I wished I would stay no more than a century. It was possible if I had a child each year, and I could space everything out more as I would certainly give birth to multiples at some point. I shook the details of such planning out of my mind for the moment though. My stomach was growling for some decent food after having had almost nothing to eat for a week. I took a look at the strange oven provided, but I was too tired and short-tempered to bother figuring how to operate it that night. In the end, I appeased my hunger with a salad.

I ate quietly, and ignored the hollowness that came with the realization that this was the first time I could ever remember eating entirely alone......