Toddler Years

In the past, I have always wondered what it would be like to be completely in charge of a young life. I never imagined I would get the chance to know what such a thing was like so early in life considering that elves rarely marry before their first millennium, let alone have children. With me being only a little over 400-years-old, I truly am an outlier. At some points I wish I had though to ask someone to come along with me. Surely one of my friends would have been kind enough to join me through this trial. Then there are other times where I am glad I am alone. I couldn't have stood to have anyone see me in the condition I was after Rodney and I had our encounter. Yes, for now, being alone is alright. I feel as if things have been moving more smoothly recently anyway. I am rapidly growing accustomedto doing everything by myself. There is also more time to sleep, and it is beyond fun to interact with Elrunamir. I've begun teaching him how to talk.

I am more determined to get him to progress more on getting him to do his business by himself though. When I used to help watch over the young children back at home, I always left the nasty work to the mothers. I have had my share of days, mostly when playing with Eloril, where I would come home covered in dirt and earth. The dirtiness that young children get covered in was another matter entirely. I swore years ago I would do everything to deal as little with those messes as possible. Of course, everything has changed now. Little Elrun certainly isn't the one to be doing the cleanup, and I cannot ignore his filthy diapers simply because I find them unpleasant. However, it has been interesting to see my change regarding the matter. I found that I have stopped caring. I take care of each mess without giving them a second thought. Such a change is one of the mysteries of motherhood. I will certainly have a lot more in common with naneth when I return home.

Desperate for money, I sold one of the plush chairs in the front room. It gave me just enough to be able to pay the bills and have enough left over to purchase a stroller for Elrun. I liked to get him outside when I had the chance. Myself as well. I have become incredibly stir crazy ever since Elrun was born. I've been so busy taking care of him that I haven't even left the yard. I knew it was no good to keep both of us cooped up so much any longer. Also, now that things are beginning to get back into a routine, there's more time to enjoy the simple things. Elrun loves taking our walks. I love them too for they keep him entertained while giving me the chance to relax and get some exercise.

One day we passed an empty house lot. I was surprised to see four wild horses running about it. It felt like an eternity since I've taken a ride on Talron. It saddened me that days have passed where I haven't even thought of him. I wonder if he's doing alright without me? Just like I didn't get to say goodbye to Eloril, I didn't get the chance to give my precious horse a farewell either. I hoped he hadn't become too heartbroken by my sudden disappearance.

Elrun was fascinated by the horses, but I did not stop. I know well enough not to suddenly approach wild animals. Maybe one day will come when I'm in a position to send for Talron. I would very much like that. Elrun and I reached the park, but since it was empty that day we turned around and went back to the house.

I was able to sleep well that night. With all that happened the next day, I am thankful I got a good rest.

The machines continued their vendetta. The toilet broke, and I got myself all dirty while fixing it. Elrun had still been sleeping at that point. However, as soon as I got into the shower to clean myself off, he woke up and begun to cry his little voice hoarse. I remained in the shower a minute longer to see if he would calm down on his own, but he did not. I had to rush out to go and take care of him. By the time he was all set, I was famished. I would find, much to my disgust, that when I took a bite of my leftover food that it had spoiled. I had to throw the rest away and make do with some bread and jam. The day's trials had not finished yet though. When I went to take out the garbage, more trouble was waiting outside. Some creature had come and knocked over the trash receptacle in the front of the yard. Disgusting smelling garbage was littered all over. A more proper shower was required after dealing with that mess.

Needless to say, it was not turning out to be a good day. Then there was still the money situation to worry about. I had enough to pay the next bill, but I understood if the days continued to pass as that morning was turning out to be then I will have no time paint and thus will be in a hard place indeed. Despite the pressure, I chose instead to use my time to continue teaching Elrun how to talk. Educating and taking care of him properly would be beneficial for both of us in the long run. If it came down to it, I would sell something else and just deal with the inconvenience.

All those worries vanished for a short time though when Elrun managed to start talking. Conversations with him might not be thought provoking, but they make me happy.

Rodney finally called and asked if he could come over. I had forgotten about him, but it was time for father and son to meet. Plus, with him in the house I thought I should have be able to get some more work done while he looked after our son. I told Rodney it was alright, and to come over as soon he could. He arrived ten minutes later. I waited with expectation to see what my reaction would indeed be when we faced each other again. My heart was surprisingly blank towards him- at first anyway. While it was not a pleasure having him in the house, I was not glaring at him every second like I supposed I would.

Unfortunately, Rodney and Elrun's meeting did not go well. Rodney hardly seemed interested in his son. I left the two of them alone to see how they would interact, but Rodney completely ignored Elrun. He did not pick him up or even touch him the entire time. All he did was grab a book while Elrun played by himself on the floor. If this was how he was going to be, I do not see why Rodney even bothered coming over.

Eventually I struck up a conversation with him. It just so happens that Rodney had gotten married. Heavens, was I shocked to hear that. Knowing how Rodney had a habit of jumping from woman to woman, I hardly thought he was the marrying type. I sensed that there had to be some sort of extra reasoning behind the peculiar behavior save for the excuse of him and this woman sharing romantic feelings. Rodney came right out and told me the truth. He had gotten married because he had gotten this other woman pregnant.

Hearing that was the breaking point.

It's not like I would have married him even if he was begging for my hand, but what was different between me and this other woman? Why did me and my son seem to mean absolutely nothing to him? He had barely known this other woman when she became pregnant, just like Rodney and I hadn't known each other. Yet Rodney had married her, moved her into his house, and was preparing to take care of the child. Elrun had already grown so much, but this was the first time Rodney even bothered to come over. Now that he was here, he wouldn't even look at him. I knew him offering support wasn't going through his mind either.

I reasoned Rodney came over here to fulfill some supposed obligation, but I no longer wished for him to be around any longer. My instincts had been right. Rodney really didn't care. I had tried to give him another chance. I had tried to offer him a part in our lives. It's obvious he doesn't want to take that chance. Despite how upset I was, I remained polite and told him it was time for him to head home. I at least wanted to show him how a person with dignity acts. Rodney left without a fight.

Elrunamir looked like his father, but I became determined to do everything I could to help him grow up to be a better person.

At least I didn't have to worry about Rodney anymore. He had seen Elrun, and I could tell that would be enough for him. Whatever small bit of responsibility he had felt had been satisfied. Elrun and I were free to go about our lives without him causing strife. Unless Elrun truly desires to have some interaction with him for whatever reason, I was done having anything to do with the man.

Putting Rodney to the back of my mind, Elrun and I continued his lessons. Elrun had successfully learned how to go to the bathroom by himself, and had also begun to take his first steps.

The days were peaceful for a while, but a nagging thought kept my brain busy. Elrun was growing day by day. I had more and more free time to myself. It wouldn't be too much longer before my son started attending the educational system here. I wouldn't know what to do with myself then. It could only be reasoned then that the time to move forward with the order had come again. It was time for me to start thinking about having a second child......