Secrets, Part One

I was glad Wesley had pushed me to become so proficient at meditation. With everything that had happened, I remembered I had that way to block everything out. Meditation became my lifesaver. Despite naneth's silent glares that were now her protest and Eloril's own suggestions, I continued to wear my lilac dress. If I wanted to wear it, then I was going to wear it. It was nice to be able to move about more easily as generally the length of my normal dress does cause some problems. With the amount of problems I already had, the last thing I needed was one more frustration to deal with. Things had become more tense still between naneth and I when it was proven that I was pregnant with Rico's son. I was relieved that I wasn't having twins again. Naneth was upset I had let such a man conceive a child with me. She couldn't believe how I had slept with Rico was similar to how I had slept with most of the men who have helped me create my children. I didn't understand how she thought it would be any other way. What, did she think I was going to go through an extensive courting-like process for each father? I would be nowhere close to finishing the task if I went about it that way. As it is, I have now truly spent more time living amongst humans than I have with my own people.

Rebelling

It might sound strange, but it got the point where I was so exhausted that night that I lacked the energy to even fall asleep. I don't know why I bothered to continue arguing with naneth. It was obvious nothing was going to come out of it. The noise eventually caught Eloril's attention. With Maldor having arrived, he came inside to break us apart again. I was sent to bed, and Eloril gave naneth a stern reprimanding. I hoped it would help. She's listened to him more than she's ever listened to me. I was in bed not a minute later, but like I said, my brain would not shut down. It was if all it could manage to do was keep me in the daze of a state which I entered. I was somewhere half between consciousness and unconsciousness. I would sometimes only just realize I was robotically getting out of bed to tend to Delerith and Delindir when they needed something. My body was definitely not my own. Eloril kept on being a right blessing. He popped in and out of the room to care for my youngest twins a lot like ada quietly looked after Sidhion the night he had been born. I didn't have to get up too often.

Being in that daze state must have relaxed me in some way. It dulled my headache considerably, and I "woke" up the next morning feeling as if I had some energy. I tried then to actually sleep, but it wasn't coming. I decided to get up despite the hour still being early. At least Naldir was awake as well. He had come back to the house much later than planned, but I couldn't have cared less. With all that naneth had done to upset me, my children could probably murder at this point and I would brush it off. He somehow found the the situation amusing when I explained what had gone on, but was happy he had gotten to skip out on it. I must repeat what I said last time- yes. How nice for him.