Gen Four- Chapter Twenty Five

NSFW Material

I almost forgot why I had come after a time. Pieter and I rested until our beating hearts calmed and the worry of discovery temporarily slipped behind the peace of nature. The sun glittered warm, yet the wind danced cool. Pieter provided an excellent cushion while the birds called for one another in a lullaby for me. This was the scenery of my youth. How I'd missed it, and how oppressive the harshness of the city now felt. The cringe in my body at returning was why I didn't protest when Pieter eventually guided us up.

     "Feel any more strongly about a decision?" he wondered.

     "I'm pretty split both ways..."

     "Well, if we're almost an hour out, why don't we get a little closer? That should help with your decision."

     "Sounds good," I agreed.

Pieter dusted himself off, I picked grass from off his back, and he turned to where our path continued.

     "A lazy hotdog, huh?" he laughed.

     "Yeah," I grinned. "The sides dip like they're trying to hold something in, but they flatten halfway giving up."

     "I see it."

He chuckled to himself, and his grin grew so massive he had to be thinking his own silly thoughts. When Pieter shifted towards me, however, his expression was nothing but serious.

     "So, before we keep going I want to ask you some stuff first."

     "Okay. Like?"

    "Since there's a risk for discovery, you, who knows this area and situation best, should tell me what we're getting into. What do you really think we'll find?"

   "I don't think we'll find The Company. How would they claim this area back after being rooted out so thoroughly? There's two much more likely options. The government kept this place, and they kept it well. They're either monitoring or using the Scarlet Dawn office. The house has found a purpose too. The second is that they bother with this place enough to keep The Company away and maintain the buildings, but they don't have a large force nearby. I can't say which is more likely to be reality between the two though. I also doubt the office and house are completely abandoned."

    "Based on what you've told me before, that all is what my thoughts were going to. Tell me this then...if we do get caught, what are the consequences?"

    "It's not that I've seen a 'No Trespassing' sign or fence, but people clearly aren't supposed to be here. There'd be consequences for that, but...once they find out who I am I think it'd matter very little. I'd be questioned, you'd be questioned, you'd...probably be returned home without much issue, and I..." I paused for a long moment. "I guess I'd finally figure out what the deal is with the rest of my family."

Pieter's stare grew sympathetic.

     "What the deal is? Like, if they'd want you or not?"

    "Yeah. At this point, my knowledge of The Company is outdated. It'd be too risky with no reward for them to snatch me back once I show myself. The government shouldn't hide me away, and, well, I'd hope they wouldn't fault me for anything that happened. They'd likely try to send me to someone in my mom's family..."

     "You've always made it seem like they wouldn't want you," Pieter pointed out, but he caught my hesitation.

    "The truth is I can't say anything either way!" I finally admitted, even to myself, in an exasperated huff. "Mom had a big family. I have a great-grandfather, if he's still alive. My mom's parents. A bunch of great-aunts and great-uncles. Cousins as far as the eye can see. There's...even the guy Mom actually loved. Arbor or something, I believe his name is. It's hard to make the claim they'll all deny me even if I'm the daughter of the man who raped and killed Mom, among everything else he and Grandpa did, yet..."

     "There's still the chance they could all deny you because you're the daughter of the man who raped and killed your mom, among everything else he and your grandpa did," Pieter nodded along knowingly.

     "I'd end up in an actual foster home then, I suppose."

Pieter did the opposite of what I expected again by smiling once more.

     "I don't see a bad option here. You either end up in a loving home where you get the relief of casting off the lies you hate, or you end up in a foster home where you can just run away and come back here to continue as if nothing changed."

     "You'd be okay with me going off and living far away? Not that I actually know where Berrybrook is."

Pieter took my hands.

     "Oh, we'd work it out. I wouldn't let you moving break our relationship. Heck, I doubt Dad even really cares if we keep living in Aspen Harbor. We're just here because it's where we've been. There's a strong chance I could convince him to move us to this Berrybrook."

    "You'd have to live a normal life too. Go to actual school, live with your dad properly, not have all the freedom you've had. That sort of thing."

    "Freedom is nice, but I've had plenty of it for now. I don't mind it continuing, but if relinquishing some of it is where today brings us then I'm fine with that."

     "Pieter..."

Not knowing what else to say, I leaned forward to give him a big kiss.

Perhaps spurred by that, Pieter took the genlemanly route and offered to carry my bookbag. I let him go for it without hesitation. My feet were sore beyond belief, and my back wasn't much better. I almost asked for a piggyback, but that was ridiculous. A massive amount of walking awaited us no matter the direction we went. No point in exhausting Pieter for ten minutes of relaxation for me.

The two of us didn't end up talking much on our way. I needed to concentrate to give accurate directions, and Pieter going rather silent meant he had his own thoughts needing to be processed. This addition of my problem and the position it'd put us in didn't get rid of the burden he had dealing with his mom's actions. I nearly asked if he truly didn't want to reveal himself to her and maybe get the chance to know his brothers. However, now wasn't the time to push that stress.

Seriously, the extra grief would have sent me reeling in the end. The eternal journey coming to a close happened lighting quick for me. Forty-five minutes of walking soon became thirty-five. Thirty-five became twenty-five. Twenty-five became twenty.

     "Pieter, wait." I had to call out.

     "Hmm?" He turned around. "Are we going the wrong way?"

    "No. I recognize more with each step. It won't be long now before we're there," I explained. With a sigh, I ran my hands through my hair and shook my head. Sometimes I wish I could shut my brain off. Pieter had us speak reality out loud. The government was either around a lot or around little. Should we get caught, I'd remain with Pieter either way. I would keep at this life as I had, which I could handle, or I'd be accepted where I could live more comfortably and securely. Why, then, could I not get my feet to move?

     "Nutmeg?"

     "I can't do it, Pieter. Things might be alright, but...I...I don't want to take the risk."

I sighed again. Pieter slipped the bookbag onto the ground and instantly came over. I cuddled him pitifully, and he rubbed my back.

     "That's fine. I'm good with whatever decision you want to make, just as long as it's really the decision you want."

     "I'm too worried about things going wrong. About being taken away and it turning out I'll have no choice at all." I bit my lip and pondered. "So...there is an alternate idea coming to me now. Let's just delay this."

     "Delay it?"

    "Uh-huh. I feel better having vented to you. I do believe in you having my back. Living like we have for a few more years won't be an issue. We can try this again when I'm eighteen. That way, even if my family does reject me, I'll be an adult and can't be forced anywhere."

    "I think that's a brilliant idea. A good compromise," Pieter agreed. "Just confirm that is what you want. We can go and be caught, go and find out we're able to stay the night at your house, or we have to book it out of here before we end up spending a night in the wilderness with meager supplies and who knows what animals around."

     "I'm sure," I confirmed.

     "Alright. Then, the shortest way to the place I was dropped off," Pieter searched the area, "is this way."

     "How are you sure?" I asked uncertainly.

     "Like I said, it's that pull. I'm just sure," Pieter stated with such confidence I couldn't argue.

He ended up being right too. I did not want to spend another night outside, and I most certainly did not want to put another protein bar in my mouth. Thus, I dutifully trusted Pieter in taking us on what seemed a pretty random and unremarkable path. We walked, walked, and walked until the sun slid halfway down the sky. Thankfully, that was the point where we reached the main public space of the actual nature park Pieter originally left from. He called a dial-a-ride with his phone. However, due to the suspicious nature of the driver and curfew more than being passed by the time we arrived in Aspen Harbor there was no chance of getting to the warehouse. The two of us were dropped off at Pieter's house instead.

    "Here we are, my lady." Pieter joked hard escorting me in. My feet refused to support me with anything less than a million pinpricks of pain, so I'd stumbled getting out of the car.
     "Shut up," I chuckled.
   "Well," Mr. Clay, who sat there watching television, raised a brow, "the both of you have been particularly troublesome of late, but it's good to see things have likely been sorted. Glad to have you safe, Cinnamon. Pieter was in a right state before bursting in here desperately trying to find you."
     "Dad," Pieter rebuked.
     "Don't worry. It just makes you more charming," I teased, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Pieter shrugged and released us, depositing my bag in the corner before motioning me upstairs.

     "It's been an exhausting day, and I'm sure you're going to say it's past our bedtimes. Cinnamon and I are going to go upstairs now," Pieter told his dad.

Neither of us expected resistance. He'd never given any...until now.

     "No, you two will not." He stood, folding his arms. "You want me to start being your dad properly again, so I'm putting my foot down here. Pieter, you can stay in your room. Cinnamon can have mine. I'll sleep down here. The two of you, however, will not be sharing a room anymore, much less a bed."
     "Wha─" Pieter sputtered. "You can't do that!"
     "I most certainly can."
     "This is a terrible time for you to be parent-y!"
     "What? Were you actually planning on us doing something?" I wondered, laughing through my surprise.
     "You were being very forward earlier!"
     "True."
    "Exactly why you two will not be sharing my room. You both might feel you're ready, but you're fifteen. That's not even close," Mr. Clay stood his ground harder.
     "C'mon!" Pieter whined.
    "Sorry." I moved to plant a quick peck on his cheek. "Rules are rules, and I'm too tired anyway. See you in the morning!"

Pieter kept up his attitude as I snatched some food from the fridge before claiming Mr. Clay's bedroom. He and his dad pressed the conversation for some time, but the voices I could hear never got truly angry or upset. It was just normal bickering over a teenage son being denied. What kept me laughing was I could hear in Pieter's voice how he enjoyed it. He didn't like being kept away from me, yet this was what he wanted from Mr. Clay. Normal.

I ate my food, took a shower, and relaxed my feet. The mad walk, long car ride, and distractions here so far kept me from pondering the very decision that had me sitting on this bed. Downstairs quieted, my eyes drooped, and I stared out the windows waiting for regret to hit. Thankfully, it didn't. I'd gotten enough of what I wanted. A few more years to discover the answers to my questions wouldn't hurt.

I slept deeply, and I nearly cried at the grand breakfast Mr. Clay woke up early to provide. Then Mr. Clay almost cried himself when Pieter talked more openly about his idea to stay in an apartment once we became adults, but also how I was persuading him into living here. I'd rarely seen a man so happy. Pieter grew sheepish and embarrassed too seeing his father overjoyed. It almost made him slip up and explain what had been going on when Mr. Clay asked about why I took off. Mr. Clay blessedly didn't pressed when I elbowed Pieter and we both clammed up.

Mr. Clay made sure Pieter and I were well on our way to the warehouse before he left for work. I couldn't fault him his suspicions, for I knew Pieter had searched for any condoms his dad might have. Not that they'd be usable. I couldn't imagine Mr. Clay having been with anyone since his wife left given his previous apathetic state, and condoms that old would be useless. Seeing Pieter frown, I let him mope while I smiled nonchalantly requesting to stop by a convenience store on the way back.

      "Alright, does anyone else feel like running away?" Jessamine said not long after our big return.
    "Technically, neither of us were running away," I pointed out as Fennel constricted my abdomen. "We were both doing important things, and that required us to leave for a time."
     "I still don't like the way you went about it."
     "Aren't any of us allowed to leave whenever we want?"
     "Don't leave!" Fennel bound me tighter, and Larkspur's expression dropped heavily.
     "I'm not. We're not. I was just teasing. Sorry," I apologized.
     "Not the best bit of teasing right now when we've been worried," Cinnamon said.
     "I really am sorry," I dipped my head low.

I received a bit of scolding from Jessamine, but the rest of any further complaints came from Fennel. She would have rattled off for hours had Tulip not interrupted to remind her they all had jobs to do. Pieter and I were succinctly put in charge of watching the place. Ruby was supposed to do it, but her period was putting her in a state again. She slept conked out by pain medication in the one room. Tulip took Fennel, Jessamine left with Larkspur, and I caught a moment with Cinnamon before she left.

     "I seriously am sorry for making you worry," I went for it again.
     "Ah, it's okay." Cinnamon waved her hand and smiled. "Two days is hardly anything compared to Pieter's crazy month. I just have to wonder, what were you doing?"
     "I can't really say..."
     "Must be something to do with your family then. That's the only thing you're ever so tight-lipped about."

And at that, I did tightly close my lips. No way of getting out of that one. I either admitted she was right, or I tried to deny it where my lie would be obvious enough for even a blind person to see.

     "I want to ask you something, Cinny," I changed the topic.
     "Sure. Go ahead."
     "Would you be mad if I told you my n─"
     "Your 'n'?"
     "I'm...not..."
     "Hmm?"
     "Gah, I thought I might be able to say it, but I can't. Not right now, anyway. Maybe let me try again later?"
     "Only if you're actually going to ask then. You're asking for a lot of patience here," Cinnamon laughed.

I smiled hopelessly.

     "I'll ask you something else then. Do you think Pieter and I are too young to sleep together?"

Such laughter burst from Cinnamon I worried that it would wake even Ruby.

     "You struggle asking that other thing, but you come right out with that!"
     "My priorities might be a little bizarre, yes."
     "Geez, girl. For the one who was so sheepish before, and who gave us such resistance about a sex ed class..." Cinnamon shook her head, amused. "I mean, I'm the same age as you and him. I feel we're old enough, but any adult will tell us no. Well, Tulip won't have a problem with it. Jessamine I think might actually try to persuade you otherwise. You're the one who knows best though. If you do everything with protection like what you taught, what's the problem? You and Pieter have known each other for forever now."
    "I wouldn't say five years is forever myself, but it's been a bit. It's also been a lot. Hmm. Yeah. Okay, thanks. That's about the answer I was looking for."
     "As long as I can help."

Cinnamon gathered the things needed for her day, and she was about to walk out the door none the wiser. Then the obvious hit.

     "Hang on! You're asking me that right before I leave you two to an empty warehouse, excluding a comatose Ruby!"
     "Yeah, so?" I replied with a juvenile smirk.
     "I guess just make sure to remember to actually watch the warehouse, okay?"
     "Okay!"

Cinnamon departed unable to wipe her grin off or cease her laughter when going by Pieter. He stared confused and suspicious, but when he looked at me for explanation I merely shrugged. I got out of saying anything to him too by checking on Ruby. Exactly as said, she was bundled up with the heat of the electric blanket turned on to combat the cramps and her face calm and relaxed from the medication taken. My cramps were generally bearable, but there had been some similar like this where I'd done nothing but lie in bed all day hating what felt like a basketball jammed in my lower abdomen being squeezed until the verge of popping. I brushed Ruby's hair back from her face and let her be.

     "Ruby will be out for a while. It's worrying her periods are getting worse, but everyone has taken care of her really well. We shouldn't have to worry about checking on her until she wakes up," I explained to Pieter.
     "That's good. I'm so glad I'm not a girl. I honestly don't know if I could handle it."
     "Having periods suck, but everyone's a a little bit different. Ruby's got the short stick of it."
   "True. I barely ever know when the rest of you are on yours. You all just go about your day like nothing's changed."
     "At a certain point, days are just normal even while on them. But, I just finished mine when you got back."
     "Okay? Is there a reason to know that?" Pieter wondered.
     "Here."

I slipped my hand in his.

Pieter, bless his heart, was so dense in that moment. Even after my request yesterday, even after his attempt last night, even after me hinting at how the timing was safe, even after I brought him into the large room with the double bed and locked the door...the poor boy looked at me waiting for the answer. I gave him a moment. When it still didn't hit, I went for it...and went for it hard. Pieter jolted at the intensity I planted my lips on his, and he fumbled holding me when my leg wrapped around his.

     "I thought we moved away from this," he snuck out when he wiggled his mouth away for air.
     "Where did you get that impression?" I giggled.
     "The whole 'rules are rules' and not trying to fight back against Dad."
    "I do want to respect the effort he's putting in by respecting his rules. I'd been traveling on foot for two days straight as well. Of course I'd be too tired. We're not at your dad's house now though, are we? I got a good night's sleep, good food, and me stopping at the store was to get this." I pulled out the condom in my pocket taken from the small box purchased.
     "I..." Pieter's face darkened deeply with a blush. He didn't pull away from our close embrace, but this was the first time I'd seen him so coy. "You're seriously...going for this?"
     "Seriously."
     "Part of me has not been expecting this to actually happen. I assumed I'd have a reason to keep rejecting it or have you reject me."

Hearing that, I loosed my grip. I'd thought the opposite. This had been filling my head all day not entertaining the possibility now that all obstacles were gone that Pieter would be on the side of saying no. I couldn't say I wasn't disappointed, but, obviously, pushing the matter wasn't an option.

     "That's just me being surprised. Doesn't mean I'm rejecting this opportunity," Pieter revealed upon seeing my expression.

I beamed, and our mouths returned to one another's. We worked at it until my legs were around his waist and he held me firm.

     "You're good with this though?" he asked.
     "I'm good."
     "Honestly?"
     "Honestly." I pulled gently on his ear. "How many times are you going to ask?"
    "Probably until even after we're done. I won't believe this for a while. You seriously do have these moments like this where once you're set on something you become determined enough to feel like another person."
    "Grandpa says that kind of stubbornness comes from Mom," I explained. I then dropped back to the floor as this position wasn't going to last long with Pieter's arms shaking. "But enough talking. C'mon."

It was interesting how quickly and smoothly the matter proceeded at first. Pieter and I spent as much time as we could on the bed making out with clothes on, and when the point came where that felt stifling neither of us had issue stripping down to our underwear. It was only when our hands and touching truly began to explore that we each grew a little tentative. Talking the big talk was easy. Letting one another see as much as we'd each seen before was easy. Being on the cusp of going past that, however, needed more tending and time. Not that I minded us being tangled and drawn close. I soaked in each second.

     "Nutmeg?"

In this moment, my name finally didn't feel foreign. A small exhale of gratitude escaped my lips.

     "Yeah?"
     "Are you truly not in love with me?"
     "I..." A lot of the heat left with that one question alone.
     "I'm not asking because it's hurtful or sad," Pieter rapidly comforted. "As long as you're with me, I don't care. It's just...just..." He laughed. "Especially like this, it's hard to believe you're not."
     "It's not something I feel can ever be explained in a way for you to understand," I smiled. "I'm not in love with you, but I love you. I love you so much. That's all there is to it."
     "That's enough for me." Pieter kissed the side of my head.

The tender and intimate moment pressed on for a while. More than just Pieter's touch relaxed my tension. So far, this had been everything I wanted when I asked him to be with me. It was a test of sorts for him, but for me too. To see how I deeply I could trust him, but to gather my courage and see if I could let myself trust. Despite all the breaking of my faith that'd happened in the past, despite Pieter's and mine bumps recently, this was the ultimate challenge in not blocking up my heart. I didn't want this trial now spanning the rest of our lives to fail. However, I didn't fear that it would.

     "What'll you do if you fall in love with someone for real one day?" Pieter whispered that when we were so close to being all the way. It was the last of his hesitations.
     "Why would I give up any of this, of you, for being in love? That doesn't have to be the most important thing. No one else will ever understand me like you, and I doubt you'll ever find someone who can understand you like I do. There's no replacement. Besides, I won't fall in love as long as you're around. There'd be no need for me to even think of it."

Pieter smiled satisfied at that. He drew me in until we were as close as we could be.