Gen Four- Chapter Twenty Three

I left the Blueberry residence with a relieved sigh in my heart. There were few kids I babysat who tipped towards that end of the scale of being temper-prone brats. Mostly I didn't go back to houses with children raised like that, but Aspen Harbor's parents, at least the ones on the website I used, knew how to teach their offspring manners. However, the six-year-old and four-year-old who lived here were in moods today. They weren't interested in anything I suggested and weren't even happy getting the choice to do what they wanted. I'd rarely been so glad to have the parents walk through the front door.

And I should have expected what I saw when I walked out the front door myself.

     "Cinny," I noted upon seeing her stand there with a big grin. "Here to walk me home?"
     "Uh-huh! It's such a beautiful day that I thought you and I should enjoy some sights as we head back."
     "As we head back," I repeated. "Except you would have been at the warehouse otherwise had you not already made the long trek here."
     "No, I was in the area," Cinnamon lied with her smile growing.
     "Right. Well, thanks. It is a nice day for a walk."

She knew I knew she lied, but what was the point in calling it out? This had been what Cinnamon and Ruby had been doing for weeks─ distracting me from focusing on a certain missing someone.

While there were moments I did wish for the solitary and quiet, I couldn't complain at the amount of concern coming my way.

     "Is there a place in particular you wanted to go?" I asked.
     "Not really. I'm thinking since we really are on the other side of Aspen Harbor we can look for the places we're not familiar with and do some exploring."
     "I don't know if that's going to be possible for me at this point, but I'm up for a challenge."
     "If you think there's no much left to find, you should try geocaching."
     "Geocaching?"
    "Ruby told me about it yesterday. Said her dad was super into it. You register on this website, purchase a GPS device, and use the coordinates other people post to find 'caches' left there. You enter your name into the logbook, and sometimes people leave little prizes behind. It's like a worldwide scavenger hunt!"
     "Sounds more like something you want to try," I giggled.
     "We can do it together."
     "It does sound intriguing. Let's look into it later."
     "Awesome!"

Cinnamon did a little jump and bounced her steps as we started the walk.

It'd been a while now since anything truly did appeal to me. My days blurred into putting on fake smiles and saying what was expected to be said. The idea that the absence of one person would put such a defeated blase attitude in my chest tore irritation throughout my core. However, Cinnamon's suggestion, against all odds, did stir my interest. The idea of there being these secret treasure troves in plain sight added a new sense of wonder to the environment of which I'd become so accustomed.

    "This area is where I want to live," Cinnamon announced suddenly. On our journey back, we followed a dirt path leading us to the gush of a fountain in a little lake surrounded by verdant greenery and adorable houses.
     "Where you want to live?"
     "I want to help Tulip and Jessamine out as much as possible once I turn eighteen. Tulip and I are then going to find a different place once the responsibility of the warehouse is passed to someone else. I think these houses are perfect."
    "If you two want to buy a house, won't that cause problems or be an extra burden if you guys get married or start a family?"
     "Tulip says she never expects to be in a relationship."
     "Really?"
     "Yeah." Cinnamon's gaze grew shaded. "She doesn't hate the idea, but after everything in her life her ability to trust and open up like that is abysmal. Her father scarred her away from having children due to the fear her husband might do something similar, and then a lot of her clients over the years have been married or in relationships. Tulip's spoken about how she knows she's really only seen the bad side of the matter, but it's more that it's simply turned her to the stance that other things in life to her are of heightened importance than romance or child-bearing."
    "That understandable. Completely," I acknowledged. Silence lingered, and I eventually cast a curious glance at my friend. "You didn't say anything about you though."
    "Oh, I totally wanted to get married and have kids at some point. My guy will just have to deal with Tulip and I being a package. Besides, I'll come with a house. That should be a good enough appeal."
     "True," I laughed.

Perhaps I was simply in a better mood today. Perhaps the release of stress after getting away from those kids was the reason. Perhaps the conversation proved especially interesting, or perhaps Cinnamon was being particularly charming today. Whatever the case, that laugh was a true and deep one that eased many of my soul's aches. I began to feel good. But, of course, my life wouldn't let that last for long. Cinnamon and I passed a construction site for a new business going up.

     "I've heard about them here and there over the years. Golden Crown Enterprise. They do a lot of good things, apparently. Aspen Harbor is expected to get a boost with this new branch opening up," Cinnamon noted.
   "Mmm." I couldn't get more out of my throat about the subject. "M-Mind if we pop in this library here real quick?"
     "Sure."

She followed me to the second floor where I instantly pulled up a web browser. My heart pounded with a threatening ache, like an overstuffed balloon and this news a needle hovering nearby. People didn't get it. Everyone thought 'Golden Crown' meant an actual headpiece, but why wouldn't they? The business used one as their logo. However, it was to hide reality. 'Golden Crown' actually referred to the crown of a tree. The Company liked to use tree based names for their various business routes. Hence the original name of the base operation being Spreading Roots. It was the foundation and lifeblood for all that would follow. Finding news of Golden Crown's opening branch wasn't hard. Everyone was excited for the jobs it would bring and the things it would do. Searching for any news of The Company, however, brought up little. There were forums where curious members of the populace sleuthed together what they thought were signs of activity. However, most sources returned me to old articles about Dad, Grandpa, and how they were the last dregs of The Company that ended up with their just rewards.

     "They're having a 'Night Off' tonight. The city is turning off unnecessary lights and encouraging everyone to do the same so we can see the stars better for one evening. I can't wait," Cinnamon, oblivious to my tension, remarked.
     "Yeah," I replied instinctively, hardly listening.

I don't know why I let myself get as wound up as I did. I knew despite The Company having faced a problem in the past where some traitors exposed a lot of the organization's operations that they continued to thrive. Its influence had never left my presence, and not even for the fact I grew up amongst its ranks. Business and corporations in the city were surely linked to them. I just didn't know which due to many being hidden even from other Company affiliated practices. Golden Crown merely happened to be a subset I did have knowledge of. Them popping into the city wouldn't cause what was the source of my fear─ discovery. The only people who might be able to recognize me anymore were almost all in jail. The Company had nothing to gain from taking me back. Seriously, what did I have to worry about from random new employees who had no idea of my existence?

   "Ahh, it's so pretty. Not as good as when we went camping, but still pretty," Fennel gushed when she, Cinnamon, and I braced ourselves against the cold evening air to experience this 'Night Out'.
    "A dream I have is for the world to get to the point where public space travel to the moon is possible. I'd give anything to get a glimpse of the world from up there!"
     "Public space travel to the moon?" I raised a brow.
   "It could happen!" Cinnamon insisted. "Holographic toys are common now, and have you seen how some companies can get their robots to walk almost realistically? The desire for better space exploration is building after being in a lull. Technology is changing fast in our lifetime. I'm going to hope."
     "I'll come with you, Cinny!" Fennel cheered.
     "We'll go to the moon together then. It's a promise."

The two high-fived. I offered my best fake chuckle and said I'd come as well...if they bought me a ticket. That prompted banter, but soon our words quieted upon us further taking in the celestial expanse and its ethereal speckles of light. I found myself leaning against the fence and thinking. I pondered what I'd seen today and the discussion we'd just had. Holographic toys being common? Robots that could barely walk with any sort of grace? What I'd seen in my youth blew all of that out of the water, and I'm sure despite the raid those programs continued with great success. The world was farther ahead than it thought. Such was why I ruminated more on Golden Crown and these past few hours of worries. A sentiment I never dared to consider before crept into my mind.

Was I really done with The Company?

My mouth went dry and sour as a gut reaction. The Company were the ones who helped Grandpa torment Mom's family. They were the ones who helped him and Dad kill. They'd used me as an experiment, and who knows how my life would have gone had I stayed with them. However...I couldn't shake what followed after that reaction. What wasn't corrupt in this world? Where could I go, what could I do that wouldn't somehow enable something bad? If...if there was no escaping it, why not go to where the most good could be done? I liked math. I liked astronomy. With The Company, I might be the one who could make Cinnamon's dream come true. The Company's programs were all so separated, exactly as I'd calmed myself with that knowledge earlier. The new people would be innocent in anything that'd happened to me. I wanted the path Pieter put out before us, yet it finally dawned on me all my 'when's were turning to 'if's. If Pieter came back. If we could be as we were before. If he wanted any of it at all.

That was my head not giving itself a filter as the stars watched me silently struggle without ceasing. Cinnamon and Fennel retreated inside far before I did, and sleep didn't take me until well in the early morning. I ignored how little the lack of rest bothered me. More importantly, I emphasized to myself that all the thoughts keeping me up were already fading in desire and intensity. It was all fanciful conjecture brought out by the enticing possibilities the open heavens provoked. Surely. I dressed, used the restroom, and went to the big room where Jessamine and Tulip were to see if there was anything they needed me to do. What I ended up doing was eavesdropping.

     "I never realized how crucial Leo's presence was," Tulip sighed. She spoke softly and the door muffled her voice, but I merely leaned closer. "Our police keep telling me of how many more unwanteds they're picking up in this area, and now they're beginning to question whether or not its worth it to allow us to stay here."
     "They wanted to condemn this whole area and get rid of the possibility of anyone staying nearby?"
     "I can't imagine it's something they'd go to so soon, but is it a spark of a possibility, yes."
     "Tch. I can beat up people plenty well enough. It shouldn't have to be the sight of a big strong man that scares idiots off, but what can we do? I would love to have Pieter patrol, but..."
    "Even for someone who's been around forever like him, we really can't assume anyone will be here the next day. My hope is we come across some new people to take in soon, at least another guy or two."
    "It's seriously slim pickings, isn't it?" Jessamine admitted in a desperate grumble. "For almost ever we never had enough beds for everyone, and now we have beds to spare! Not to mention how it's hurting us monetarily. The house, food, medicine, everything else...with so few people and all the changes it won't be long before our savings start to go or we have to bump up rent."
   "I think I'll just have to keep working with my men for the time being. Cutting that line off so abruptly, no matter how much it's wanted, is only going to doom us right now," Tulip sighed again.
     "I'm so sorry, Tulip."
     "Eh, it's life at this point. Just another part of the daily grind."

I shuffled away with my head low. Did the world seriously have to make everything shit all at once? One day with a bolstered sense of security and peace couldn't be that outlandish of a wish. Fennel, the sleepyhead, barely stirred when I dropped back onto my bed. Now with dashed eagerness, I moped until everyone woke for breakfast. Jessamine and Tulip smiled and chatted as if nothing was out of the ordinary. I almost went to them afterwards to admit what I'd chosen to let myself overheard, yet my feet took me outside instead. Better to give them time to sort matters out before making them feel worse by spreading the concern they clearly wanted to hide to someone else. The movement I saw I thought was the slanted shadows lazily creeping onward. Then color came into my dropped sight, and my head snapped up.

Honestly, seeing Pieter there didn't do anything to me at first. He'd been a daily part of my life for so long it came off as ridiculous to question his presence. His long absence became negligible for that brief second. Of course, that soon passed. I froze. He froze. Pieter couldn't look my way. I couldn't do anything but stare at him. Neither of us could speak.

He looked well. No, not well. Undamaged, physically, was the better word. He'd been able to eat, he'd been able to sleep, and no one had him captured beating him up like my nightmares taunted. Pieter's timid gaze failing to focus on me came off as drained and uncertain, but it wasn't dead like it'd been before he left. That was good. He flinched as I stepped toward him. That was better.

Shock fading and the dam breaking, a fury blistering like the noon sun caught my chest. My arms shook. Maybe that was why Pieter flinched harder when I did nothing other than brush past him with a hard stomp.

     "Nut─!" Pieter bit his lip while glancing at the warehouse. "Cinnamon. I...please wait. I know, I know I've been the worst..."
     "Way to put it lightly!"
   "The absolute worst. The biggest piece of shit. Someone who shouldn't be bothering you. Someone who doesn't deserve to ask for a chance to explain."
     "Yet you're trying to do it anyway!"
     "You're a much better person than me."
     "Oh, fuck off! Don't think you can appease me with something so pathetic!"

All my insides compressed while my senses went numb. It was if my body detached itself in two different directions, and every uneasy breath hastened the loss of control. For a month I'd been holding back.

No. Again, that was wrong. For years I'd been holding back. Suppressing emotions. Pretending I wasn't as scared as I was. Ignoring the self-hatred for every lie that passed my lip, for every devious thing I'd done to survive. Letting myself believe in every shaky support that inevitably vanished. Sticking a knife in my identity, too often forgetting what my own name was. All of that was a vain attempt to clutch onto the sharp, broken pieces of that little bright-eyed, eager to please and follow Nutmeg who wanted nothing more than to swim and dance.

     "Cinnamon," Pieter spoke more of that poison. He found enough courage to hurry after me and take my wrist in his hand. "Please. I'm not asking you to forgive or understand or make a decision or anything. I just want to let you know why I was gone, and you can do whatever you want from there."
     "Let go of me!"
     "I just─"
     "I said LET GO!"

Pieter complied. His grip weak to begin with fluttered away as a feather in the wind. He stood docile and meek with his hands at his side and head bent downward. The words he wished to say he kept back, awaiting my reaction. I should have continued walking. Trying to resolve anything about us or what happened in the past month obviously was not ideal at this point. Pieter asked for too much even though he thought he asked for little, and the small convulsions quivering my body as the heat threatened to melt me from within only signaled the break that soon came. Pieter saw me turning to face him. He watched as I stood before him not leaving as before. It was only inevitable he would assume I sought some sort of reparation.

     "I'm...I'm sorry," he apologized, finally bringing his green eyes up to meet mine.

What he thought I wanted was wrong. What he thought he should do was wrong. I didn't want an apology, and him daring to bring his stare up to my level was an arrogant challenge and foolish belief of the height of kindness in my heart. Pieter realized this too late when my face contorted. When the rage and cracks gushing out the blackened parts of my being rose my palm and drove it into the side of his face with a cracking impact.

Pieter staggered, but only the faintest gasp of pain had left his lips. He didn't hesitate to let our gazes meet again. In the frozen moment and utter silence, Pieter chose to have his stare be soft and tender. A flood of tears instantly drenched my cheeks.

     "I-I'm...sor─! I shouldn't, shouldn't...!"
    "Nutmeg, it's fine. I don't blame you at all. I rather expected it at some point after what I did. You're not guilty of anything," Pieter whispered without lie, with warm conviction.
     "No! It's not right to ever hit someone like that! I know better! I...I..."

I was proving all the cold tendrils coiling around mt ribs right. Any delusions of still being that little Nutmeg faded with each sob. Pieter offered me total forgiveness, but it just broke down my broken pieces faster.

     "I forgive you if that helps," the idiot went and said.
     "Stop! Just stop!" I buried my face in my hands.
    "I-I..." Pieter rubbed his hands, uncertain but desperate. "Do you want me to get mad and yell at you? I'll do that, i-if it'll make you feel better."

Tears flung left and right as I shook my head. It didn't matter what Pieter did. Nothing he could do would help me right now. So, I went and did what I had been trying to do. What I should have done. I ran away.

The more I ran the more the numbness replaced the rage's heat. My feet pounding the pavement not caring for everyone on the sidewalks giving me strange looks wrenched me back to that day years ago. The one where I stepped outside to the real world by myself for the first time. Where I spent hours by the beach. Where the police found the last man tacking me to a certain path, and where I made the choice to be as I was now. I ran and ran as I did then no longer afraid of the city, but afraid of myself. Searching for any comfort drove me to a familiar but long distant corner behind the courthouse. I sat and cried as I sat and cried before. I forced my watery vision to look up whenever my lungs sucked in enough air to grant my dizzy head stability desperate for a familiar purple woman to come and sit with me again. What did it matter if she wasn't the real Jazzy? She'd been kind. How could I blame her for being a liar when I wasn't any better?

Although it felt like my life was forever as it was in those painful moments, the aches did begin to ebb. The tears slowed, my nose stopped spouting quite so much, and my chest permitted proper breaths. Rational thinking was the best that returned. With it, an old idea spurred me to take out my phone. I needed help. I might...I might take a path I contemplated when with one little girl if perhaps that welcoming connection remained. I'd memorized the phone number long ago. While I worried if it still worked or would bring me to the right place, a peppy voice picking up the call proved those unnecessary worries.

     "This is the Zest residence. Cala speaking."

Cala had grown as I had, yet there was something soothing about finding familiarity in her voice.

     "Hi, Cala." My voice somehow came out steady. I even smiled a bit thinking of those brief days spent together. "It's...I really don't know what to say. It's been a long time, and I don't know if you remember me. It's Cinnamon Holiday."
     "...Cinnamon? Cinnamon Holiday? Oh! The girl with the pink ribbons in her braids. I remember you."
    "I'm sorry I never called before now. It was hard to say at the time, but my family situation at the time was actually very...complicated. And rough. If you ever felt, uh, I don't know, upset that I didn't contact you again, I really am sorry."
   "Well, you know, speaking of that..." Cala's voice abruptly became tart, and I tensed. "I had hoped for a long while that you would call. I needed you to confirm something for me. At least I can ask now."
     "Oh?"
     "Did you take money from my parents' room? Twenty dollars?"

Dread shortened my breaths again. My fingers itched to hang up the call. Hoping in the kindness of Cala's family and trusting her parents with the truth to help me find a place obviously wasn't in the cards. However, the urge to finally be rid of this weight prompted me to be honest.

     "...I did. Like I said, the situation with my family was rough. I was scared, and desperate, and didn't know what would happen with each new day. I-I didn't mean any harm, but..."
     "Doesn't matter!" Cala snapped. To hear such ire and bitterness from her broke my heart. "You stole from us when I was doing so much for you and being your friend! Do you know how much trouble I got in for defending you when my parents found out the money was missing? Even until now, despite it being the only option, I held out hope that you weren't at fault! I believed in you!"
     "I'm s-sorry, Cala..."
    "I don't want to hear it! I just hope you put that money to better use than buying junk food or getting some dumb koalamb toy! Don't call us again!"

She slammed the phone down.

I couldn't be angry. I couldn't be upset. Part of me was, in fact, happy. Relieved. Telling the truth, being yelled at...it eased some of the guilt lurking within all this time. Cala didn't know all the ways I'd used and deceived her, but she knew enough to stop thinking of me kindly like I didn't deserve. That was why I made the library my destination once my tears were gone, the sniffles fully stopped, and my face no longer looked like a disaster. I used a piece of paper and a few pieces of tape nicely given to create a makeshift envelope. A borrowed pen wrote a note to stick inside and on the front of the envelope I addressed the contents to the Zests. All the money I had on me, fifty dollars, went in too once I approached the apartment building I had adamantly avoided until now. I stiffened walking up and into the front entrance searching out their mailbox. Nostalgia and regret battled for dominance, so I stuffed my apology inside their little box and departed with haste.

Not knowing what else to do or where else to go, I returned to the library. I did feel better giving back more than what I'd taken, but that didn't mean I felt better. My body sludged as I struggled to the top floor finding one of my favorite computers open. I didn't really need a computer though. Memories trapped me quiet and unmoving grateful most were outside on this later summer day. I recalled searching for information about Dad and Grandpa. I easily brought to mind the first time I saw that picture of Mom. I'd reprinted it several times over the years when the paper grew crumpled. Skylar and his wish to write a story of fae and a magical world only to be caught and taken popped up next. Maybe he'd gone on to write that story on his own. I'd never checked. Jiggling the mouse to wake the computer back up, my fingers hovered over the keyboard to type only to freeze. No...I'd have to check another day. If his story was there, if I found out he was living the best happy life one could have, I'd be too jealous right now to be glad for him. Better to wait to find out when I wouldn't be so petty.

I had no money for lunch or dinner. There was seriously nothing I could do other than what I was doing, and I had the warehouse or Pieter's house as choices of locations. Given that Mr. Clay texted me after lunch to let me know Pieter had stopped by, he'd find me if I went to either. There was no way around it in the end. My stomach grumbled, my shoulders slumped with exhaustion, and I found I cared little about anything right now. Empty and spent, I returned to the warehouse. No one bothered me much, likely to do with my expression and whatever explanation Pieter had given them of this morning's situation. Dinner passed through my mouth without taste, the water somehow went down dry, and when Pieter quietly came downstairs to slink in the corner to give me space I sighed. He read me well enough to follow me outside.

     "I'm glad you don't have a bruise," I mumbled.
    "Ah. Jess...Jess was watching from the window in her room. She got me some ice and medicine to help with that."
   "That's good." A moment passed with the waves rushing with a lazy roar as the wind fluttered my ribbons. "Well?"
     "Well?"
     "Your explanation?"
    "Oh. It...it was that conversation we had at that dock. About baby names and your family. I realized there was still a lot I didn't know about you and them, and then I realized there was a lot I didn't know about my family. About...my mom." Pieter's deep breath shook heavily. He was doing everything he could to remain composed. "She's been frozen in my memories ever since she left. I didn't think about what she'd been getting up to in all these years. I wondered if she'd stayed single, or if she'd remarried or had more kids. I wanted to know, if the latter was true, about my siblings and their names and everything like that. I-I even wondered if I might be able to reconnect with Mom like I have been with Dad. Finding her current address wasn't hard knowing all her information. As was likely, she had remarried."

His voice quieted. Glancing back, I saw his head dip until his eyes were hidden and gravity pressed harder on his shoulders and back. Pieter's voice broke a little more as he continued.

     "The listing I found also gave me the information of her new husband and family. It was that which caused all of this. I had to go see them in person. Well, I didn't go meet them. I watched them from afar. My mom married another mostly brown man. They have two boys. I have two more little brothers." Pieter's voice cracked, and he clenched his fingers together tightly. "But...can you guess what she named them?"

A terrible answer came to mind. I couldn't say it, and a sad squeeze constricted me when Pieter confirmed it.

     "Pieter and Boulder. She named them Pieter and Boulder." Pieter stubbornly rubbed at his forming tears. "Screw trying to reconnect with her. That bitch...she is trying to replace us like that. Completely erase everything that was by standing something new upon the ruins of the past. I just...didn't know what to do. I kept following them, watching them be happy. My brothers were so cheerful. I can't imagine they or their dad know anything about what she's done. It was why I couldn't approach them and call her out even though I was tempted over and over. They don't deserve to be dragged down like that. And...that's what I was doing. That's where I was. I'm sorry I didn't tell you more. I broke a promise to you not being here after Leo and Coral left, and I took selfish advantage of your patience and trust. I just...couldn't. I was about to shatter dealing with what I found. There were times I nearly went into fits I was so overwhelmed. There was not enough left of me to text you or try to explain, as simple as it might sound to do. It took me this long to start to process it properly and get a hold on what I want and what I feel. So, I am seriously sorry. I hope you can forgive me at some point."

A held breath painfully locking the bones in my jaw slowly released. Pieter did something of the same, and he waited a moment as my lips uselessly opened and closed searching for what language was.

     "But we've both had a miserable time of it lately. You're at your limit. I'm at mine. I think we've each said enough of our piece to let it settle. Is it okay if we sleep on everything and talk when we both don't feel like we're going to pass out?" Pieter asked.
     "That's the best for right now, yes," I agreed.

Pieter gave me a relieved little smile. I gave a tiny one back.

He seemed to wish to stay outside, so I was the one to go inside the warehouse. Everyone save Larkspur and Fennel who were too young and oblivious burdened me with stares signaling desperate curiosity for answers, but naturally no one was daft enough to press the issue. Everyone let Pieter and I be, although I did hear Jessamine briefly talk with Pieter checking if he would be fine with patrolling now and again to ward off those encroaching our territory. Cinnamon, Ruby, and I played cards and chatted, me majorly listening, until the two conked out in their room. Fennel requested a bedtime story. She dozed off smoothly, but I...

Sleep wasn't as possibility. My brain took on the task of ruminating on everything, and at some point the headache morphed into a defeated fuzz. I counted the bricks on the wall over and over. I traced my finger down their lines. It helped in that it congealed the mess in my head down to one something. My past, who I was, The Company, my future, Pieter...by the time the sun rose I'd come to a conclusion.

I forced myself to hold back like was my habit. I didn't put my decision into motion until after the morning started off normally. I bathed, changed, ate breakfast, and chatted with most like nothing was out of the ordinary. Pieter and I said good morning, but he needed more than the first light to be ready for the next talk. He'd have more time than he expected though to be ready. I almost got away with prepping everything in my bookbag and taking action without anyone pointing out the differences. While I'd delayed long enough for everyone else but Pieter, who volunteered to watch the place, to leave, I hadn't known Larkspur was only just puttering about outside. He instantly spotted the bag.

     "Why do you have that?" he wondered.

Being who I was though, lying was all too simple.

     "I'm babysitting the Castor kids today. I promised I'd take them on a hike on the nature walk by their house next time I came over, so I have snacks, water, first aid, and stuff like that in here," I explained.
     "Ohhh. Can I come?"
     "Sorry, Lark. You know that complicates the story. You and I can go on a hike together later though, okay?"
     "Promise?"
     "Promise."

That part wasn't a lie...as long as things didn't go wrong.

I got to leave without Larkspur asking more questions or being suspicious of anything. More importantly, I went down each sidewalk and path bringing me farther from where I wanted to be and closer to where I needed to be with my head set straight ahead and my determination not wavering. If there was a point where I'd turn back, reaching the bridge Mr. Flaxen drove me over on our arrival to Aspen Harbor would have been it. However, I barely paid it any attention. The massive green beams were behind me in fifteen seconds, and I just kept going.