One Chance

I woke up several hours later in my resort room. It was around mid-afternoon, and Wesley was lying there close to me. His eyes were closed so I expected him to be asleep, but as soon as I moved he sat up in a flash. I knew the malfunction that had happened with my gear which he told me about was not my fault, but I couldn't help but to feel guilty for worrying him so much. I think I worried him a bit more when I tried to tell him about the chest. Apparently, there hadn't been one. I was confused as it had seemed so real. I suppose the lack of oxygen affected my brain a lot faster than I realized though.

Wesley was adamant about us not going diving again. With the sharks and then this, there had just been too much bad luck. I agreed. I did, however, go swimming not long after I woke up completely against Wesley's protests. The fear of the water was settling within my chest, and I had to get over it sooner rather than later. I wasn't very worried about my safety since I felt perfectly fine after all that sleep and Raine was with me the entire time. We did have to spend a fair amount of time sitting at the pool bar drinking some juice first though before I was comfortable with actually swimming. In the end, I was glad I pushed myself. The fear was quickly forgotten.

Struggling

I heard back from Rithranduil after several weeks of fretful waiting and being left in the dark. I was nervous when the phone call came, but I was mostly relieved when it was over. Kenya was alright with letting me keep their child since she knew me somewhat, and because I was the child's grandmother. What didn't leave me relieved was that Rithranduil hung up right after he gave me the anticipated due date. He didn't call again, and he wouldn't answer any of my calls. He always hides or sneaks out when I go over to Buddy's house. Like always, I felt hurt.

I ignored the hurt though when Menel's birthday came. It has been interesting and addicting in a way to watch her grow and change, for now she looks much more like herself than her father. Menel has truly come into her own. She was sad before since she wasn't able to do that much to help when everything seemed to be falling apart, so now she takes tasks and chores on readily. She makes sure our large yard is kept up with, there is always something to eat thanks to her, I have constant assistance when taking care of Elrandra and Emethien, and she even helps me do the paperwork for the bills.

Falling Apart

Tinaldor, Menel, and I spent a long time at that pond. I continued to skate the whole time, but Tinaldor and Menel used the fresh snow to build a family of snowmen after they grew bored with circling the pond. The sun started to sink below the horizon. However, I didn't want to go home just yet. I let Rithranduil know I was taking his siblings out to dinner. The bistro we wanted to go to was absolutely packed, and though we were so hungry we were willing to wait until we could get a table. The meal was well worth it. Our order was also initially gotten very wrong, and we dined for free because of the major error.

Tinaldor and Menel went right to bed without even changing out of their day clothes they were so tired. I went to check on Nonion before I slipped off to bed myself. Nonion was sleeping peacefully in his crib having been well taken care of. Rithranduil remained awake in his room. I went in there to thank him. Silence was my answer. I repeated my thank you, and I was told to go away.

So I did.

Bitterness

I signed Rithranduil up for counseling.

I had to do something, and it was the one thing suggested to me over and over again. Rithranduil's pranks on me were getting to the point where he was causing me small amounts of pain. He would constantly scare and terrify Tinaldor and Menel thinking he was being funny making them scream their heads off. His time at school, which Rithranduil had seemed to enjoy, became another problem area as he started acting up and skipping frequently. Talking to him doesn't help. The more I tell him I love him, I'm concerned, and that I want to help the angrier he gets. Trying to be tough by reprimanding and punishing him is also pointless. Rithranduil ignores all my words, and never does his punishments.

Ithilas told me I should send him to military school to straighten him up. How could I do that? Rithranduil was happy, but then he changed so rapidly. Something had to have happened that I missed. I didn't feel that shipping him off to a place such as military school would be a good reinforcer that I wanted to help. It would surely only make him think that I was trying to get rid of him. That's why I went with counseling instead. If he wouldn't talk to any of us, perhaps Rithranduil would talk to someone outside the situation. I desperately wanted my happy little boy back.

Sudden Change

There was a time when I used to meditate a lot. I liked getting outside to sit on the grass and soak up the sun while I let all thoughts wash away. Then things got busy, and I broke the habit. I've tried various time to pick it back up, but it has only been recently that I've succeeded. Even if I am extremely tired I am somehow able to clear my mind. As a result, I can fall asleep faster and easier. Things really haven't been too bad with Rithranduil and Tinaldor, but it's been a while since I've had to deal young children who constantly need my care by myself. I relied on Sind and Griselda for so many things, and I didn't even know it. Having my two sons to look after is a fun kind of challenge though. The kind of busy I am is the kind of busy I like. I'll spread myself a little thinner when I do go ahead and have my next child soon, but I'm waiting just a little so I can have the a crib available instead of having to pull out another one, which would ruin the nice set-up of the nursery I have going on now.