Sudden Change

There was a time when I used to meditate a lot. I liked getting outside to sit on the grass and soak up the sun while I let all thoughts wash away. Then things got busy, and I broke the habit. I've tried various time to pick it back up, but it has only been recently that I've succeeded. Even if I am extremely tired I am somehow able to clear my mind. As a result, I can fall asleep faster and easier. Things really haven't been too bad with Rithranduil and Tinaldor, but it's been a while since I've had to deal young children who constantly need my care by myself. I relied on Sind and Griselda for so many things, and I didn't even know it. Having my two sons to look after is a fun kind of challenge though. The kind of busy I am is the kind of busy I like. I'll spread myself a little thinner when I do go ahead and have my next child soon, but I'm waiting just a little so I can have the a crib available instead of having to pull out another one, which would ruin the nice set-up of the nursery I have going on now.

You'll be please to learn that my garden is coming along spectacularly. Honestly, I forgot how time consuming it was to take care of one when there are young children about. It will sometimes get late into the afternoon before I have the free time to even think about going to check on it. Somehow, I do manage to get down there each day to weed and water my plants. I have just the right amount of them so that the work is not overwhelming. I have no idea what most of the things growing are though. At least they will all bloom soon what with the last hot days of summer doing wonders for their maturation.

My tiny waiting period quickly passed, and it was time for me to become pregnant again. The man who helped me out was a man named Mr. Ty Dee. While he used to be our maid, he has not been around for some time since he found another job. Ty is not generally what comes to mind when one mentions physical attractiveness, but he is incredibly polite, empathetic, and hardworking. In short, he's a good man. That's much more attractive to me than mere appearance.

Eleme and I are both very glad she is able to relax at home more. She's progressed relatively far in her part-time job, and so has to work less. Her idea of relaxing and my idea of relaxing seems to be quite different though. Eleme really does have to have everything perfect. She'll make her bed right away, she'll clean everything when she gets the chance, and the nursery has to be kept in order as well. There are times when I head to Rithranduil or Tinaldor the instant I hear them crying, but my daughter somehow gets there before me. I've told her she doesn't have to do so much, but doing so much is what she wants. I began to ponder if this is simply how Eleme is, or if she wants to prove how different she is from the man I shall not mention by name again.

Besides taking care of her little brothers, Eleme also finished the painting she was working on for their nursery. I believed her to be taking a page out of Sind's book when what she made turned out to be a squid. When I asked her about why she chose such a thing, Eleme admitted she had copied the style of painting Sind has done in the past so she could dub her work "Squind". I chuckled, and when I called Sind after I sent him a picture of the painting he got quite a good laugh out of it as well.

I called Ty when I was able to confirm that I was pregnant. He might not have been as enthusiastic as Moshe was when he learned he was going to have a child, but he remained mildly excited. That's really the most I can ask from these men unknowingly becoming fathers. Ty and I also talked for a long while so I'll take that as a good sign too. He was very sweet when he asked in that polite manner of his if I needed him to do or give me anything. I told him I already had everything I need, but that he was more than welcome to drop by whenever he wanted and to be involved as much as he wanted.

My two little boys are simply the best. I thought everything would become much more hectic when Tinaldor had his birthday, but he and Rithranduil love playing together so much that they distract and entertain themselves easily. It allows me more chances to focus on what other things need to be accomplished. I can't wander too far though. Rithranduil and Tinaldor have gotten into the habit of exploring, and are becoming more and more bold at trying to go down the stairs. I've never had to worry about my toddlers and stairs before, but that has changed drastically now since both my bedroom and the nursery are on the third floor.

I suddenly had a lot of free time, which surprised me. The change came on so rapidly, but it should have been obvious if I had been paying attention at all. I forgot that my plants would start going dormant as the colder weather came. There soon was not much left to garden. The only plants left to bother with was the pumpkins, but that at least meant our family was ready for Spooky Day. 

Then to add to the freeing up of my time was Rithranduil's birthday. It ended up being just like all the other birthdays- a nice family celebration where I made my son a cake and everyone bought him presents. Rithranduil discovered he loved heading outside to rake and play in the leaves only to later scatter them in the wind. A maid upset him greatly one day when she accidentally threw away his pile thinking they had been raked for that purpose. Rithranduil quickly raked another pile, and got over his anger.

Yes, at that point, Rithranduil was proving to be a happy boy who also had a somewhat strange fascination with things such as witches, vampires, and werewolves.

Until Menel's birth.

I didn't realize the change at first. I was too busy preoccupied taking care of my newborn daughter. While she didn't cry as often as her older brothers did in the weeks when they had first been born, Menel cried a lot louder and a lot longer. It would take quite some time before she was comforted and returned to her normal, friendly self.

Rithranduil began acting up, or I only started noticing he was acting up, when Menel and I fell into a decent schedule several weeks later. At the beginning, I thought my son was only playing around- that he thought he was being funny and was trying to make both of us laugh. It seems he has inherited my ability to move soundlessly for time after time Rithranduil was able to sneak up and scare me without me having any sort of clue that he was there. The first few times was amusing. Then it became bothersome. Then it became annoying. Rithranduil would simply laugh at me whenever I asked him to stop or attempted to reprimand him. He was about to get into big trouble with me when he finally did stop.

That's only because he moved on to a different tactic though. It was late at night after a particularly long day. I knew I wasn't going to get much sleep for Menel had been very fussy, and so I had just wanted a nice shower before I slipped into bed for however much rest I would get. Nothing felt out of the ordinary. Then I stepped out of the shower to glimpse a look at myself in the mirror. My hair was a yellow color, but not the yellow sort of color it normally was. I instantly figured that Rithranduil had put hair dye in my shampoo. He was the only one who would do such a thing. I had to waste half an hour of my precious sleeping time to rinse that dye out. I woke Rithranduil up to discipline him, but he laughed at me again. I grounded him. He didn't care.

I prayed that the situation would improve if I gave it some time. I believed at first the whole thing to be a stage Rithranduil was going through. I was wrong on both accounts. Everything only declined. I then had the idea that Rithranduil might be acting out in order to grab my attention since I had to use so much of it on Tinaldor and Menel. My idea to remedy the problem was to invite Rithranduil out to the fall festival with me on the following weekend. He said he would come, but he didn't look happy about it.

I tried. I tried very hard. I suggested all sorts of activities and games we could do together. Rithranduil looked so bored or annoyed with each, and quit halfway through all of them. I kept trying despite the clear reality that my efforts were making no difference. It was painful to accept, but it confirmed my suspicion that my idea had been wrong. For whatever reason, Rithranduil could care less about me paying attention to him. He only wanted to deal with me when it was on his terms, which was when he was pranking me. Otherwise, to him I was the most bothersome person on the planet. I asked him why he had changed so suddenly and drastically. Rithranduil began almost shouting at me what seemed to be nonsense. He was trying to say so much at once that I couldn't figure out what he really wanted to tell me. The whole thing was embarrassing as all the others around us gave us strange stares. I quickly took us home. Rithranduil went to his room. I went to mine.

In the days following the incident, I reversed my tactic by keeping my distance. If attention wasn't what Rithranduil desired then I hoped giving him the space he wanted would make everything right again. I focused pretty much solely on Eleme, Tinaldor, and Menel. Tinaldor was learning to talk rather well. He would babble away constantly if I gave him the chance. His favorite words so far are "Tinblor", his attempt at his name, "food", "mine", "play", and "booger". That last one is the result of a half hour of dedicated hard work on Eleme's part.

I remembered Eleme's birthday, but I completely forgot she would be leaving. I honestly don't understand how I did. She had been going on for weeks about how she was ready to really get started in her life and career. You will see then why I felt so horribly awful when I begged her to stay for just a little while longer. Eleme had turned out to be such a strong person despite her struggles with what happened. She's the opposite in every way of the man who helped make her. I wanted so desperately to let her prove what an amazing woman she has become, but I required her help just as much. My attempt at making peace with Rithranduil was not working. Because of the situation with him I was about to fall behind on the task again. I needed another pair of hands to help keep the family grounded until something could be worked out.

Eleme wasn't happy, but she did agree. I had done so much for her. What kind of daughter would she be if she didn't do this thing for me? Eleme did make the condition that she was at least going to start her career though. I immediately told her that was fine. She was perfectly welcome to live as if she had left home. She would just happen to be living at home.

Well, I was at least right about one thing. Menel's birthday proved that she certainly takes more after her father than she does me. I like that my children are taking more after their fathers recently though. Menel has her own kind of charm, and her large eyes are such pretty jewels to stare into. She does still like to cry very loudly however.

I did my best to remain positive and keep the atmosphere surrounding the house pleasant as several more weeks went by. I continued to leave Rithranduil alone. Each time I tried to show him attention or affection he pushed me away farther, and his rate of pranking would increase. I really am at a loss for what to do as well how to handle the truth that my son simply doesn't like me anymore. It isn't just me either. Rithranduil doesn't get along with Eleme, or Ithilas for that matter, and he wants nothing to do with Tinaldor and Menel. He does have plenty of friends at school, but for some reason its us members of his family he can't stand though we did nothing to earn his contempt.

As if I didn't have enough to worry about, some dratted deer broke through the fence around my garden to eat one of my plants. The lone small relief was that it was a plant I had no use for.

I invited Ithilas and Jade, who had gotten married, over to break up the monotony of the drama and to hopefully relieve some of my stress. Miraculously, their visit actually accomplished what I wanted it to accomplish. Talking to Ithilas, my son who could talk and who liked me, was calming. Jade was upstairs the entire time having great fun playing with Tinaldor and Menel. It made me wonder if I would have some more grandchildren on the way before too long. When I jokingly mentioned the idea to Ithilas, he suspiciously answered it might be a strong possibility.

Ithilas then, surprisingly, offered me great help with my task. He had been clearly hesitating to bring it up, for what son would want to help his mother find a man to do that with? However, he did eventually blurt the information out. There was an acquaintance of his who was willing to get me pregnant. The man never wanted a relationship, but he wanted a child. When he heard that, Ithilas had told him of the task and that I might want to meet up with him. I became rather nervous when Ithilas revealed he mentioned the task to this man. Most people really do think I'm crazy whenever I try to explain it. Now it had been brought out so openly to this stranger.

Ithilas reassured me Mr. Carey Crews actually believed what he had been told. More than that, he believed it was a sign from above our conception of a child together was something that was supposed to happen. Though still a bit hesitant, I had no reason to say no. I couldn't turn down such a great opportunity. I was then encouraged by Ithilas to go over to Mr. Crews' house right then and there while he and Jade babysat. No time like the present, or something like that was what he said. I agreed to at least go meet him. And I liked him. And I slept with him. The fates really did appear to be pushing us together for Mr. Crews had that afternoon completely available. I returned home an hour later after both of ours needs had been met......