The Presence

Honestly, I pretty much forgot about the time I spent with Henry. It had been a moment that was so routine and uninteresting compared to all the highs I had experienced with Wesley, so it took the bulging of my stomach to remind me that I was carrying another child. I became excited then. My first thought was hoping to have another girl, but there was a strangely confident thought within my mind whispering over and over again that the child would be a boy. I wanted to find out to prove my hopes superior, but this was not one of the pregnancies where I would find out ahead of time. I've done a good job up until this point of keeping to the tradition I decided on. It would have been a shame to break it.

Henry ended up being excited too when he heard I was pregnant. Sort of. His excitement certainly isn't anything compared to the real excitement that had been so obvious with Wesley when I was pregnant with Amonost and Adonnen. I'm just glad Henry is willing to try though, and isn't going to shirk off his responsibilities.

Hopeless Dream

It was after several more days of practice and training when Wesley determined I was skilled enough to do some actual diving. I was excited when he gave me the good news, but nothing but nervous once it came time to put the gear on. All I could think about was the gear breaking or something going horribly wrong. Wesley reassured me time after time that nothing would happen. Even if there was an incident, he would be there to help me out.

It took us a while to get the suit to fit properly over my head. My ears hurt too badly being pressed so tightly, but it was difficult finding a way to poke them out without absolutely ruining the material. They really do get in the way sometimes. However, Wesley and I were successful at finding a solution. It was time to dive. I followed as Wesley led the way.

Make-Believe

I woke up before Wesley the next morning. I showered and dressed, and the lights were still off in his room. I decided to go ahead and have breakfast so he could sleep some more. Apparently, this was the wrong thing to do. Wesley was not happy I hadn't woken him up. I had gone ahead and had what should have been our first meal as an official unofficial couple together without him. As a result, I had a second breakfast. I didn't mind since I really do love the resort's food, and I thankfully hadn't eaten all that much the first time around.

It was incredibly warm that morning. It only made since to start the day off at the beach snorkeling. I waited while Wesley got the gear, and when he showed up I spotted the tattoo on his shoulder that I had completely forgotten about. I naturally had to ask Wesley the particulars about the design. Well, he started, I had made a brief mention the day before that my name related to a type of flower. So he had gotten a flower design. The green was for my eyes, the lilac was because it was my favorite color, the white was because I had this pure aura around me, and the black was simply to hold it altogether.

I stared at Wesley in confused amazement. He couldn't actually be serious about all of that. Wesley was perfectly serious though. I couldn't believe him. That tattoo was permanent. Why on earth had he thought it would be a good idea to base the whole thing around me? Wesley repeated what he had said the previous night. Meeting me had helped me more than I would know, and more than he was ever going to let me know. The tattoo ensured that he had a way to think back to good times once we separated. I still couldn't get the whole thing to make sense in my head, but I had to just accept what he told me. It's not like there was any way the tattoo could be changed.

Summer Fling

I had a hard time believing where I was. I also had no idea what to expect from the vacation that had pretty much been forced upon me. I can say though that when I arrived in Islo Paradiso my emotions, instead of being dark and frustrating to deal with, became a blank state instead. I took it as a good sign- an opportunity to shape myself back into the happy person I wanted to be. I actually managed to sleep well that night before I left, but I did have to wake up early to catch my flight. Tinaldor would be at the house all the time while I was gone, and I was going to be a gone a whole two weeks. Ithilas drove a weary me to the airport where I promptly fell asleep after I boarded the plane. An arraigned taxi picked me up to take me to my resort, which was one of the best on the whole island. I got to my room in a good mood.

Until I discovered something absolutely horrible.

Struggling

I heard back from Rithranduil after several weeks of fretful waiting and being left in the dark. I was nervous when the phone call came, but I was mostly relieved when it was over. Kenya was alright with letting me keep their child since she knew me somewhat, and because I was the child's grandmother. What didn't leave me relieved was that Rithranduil hung up right after he gave me the anticipated due date. He didn't call again, and he wouldn't answer any of my calls. He always hides or sneaks out when I go over to Buddy's house. Like always, I felt hurt.

I ignored the hurt though when Menel's birthday came. It has been interesting and addicting in a way to watch her grow and change, for now she looks much more like herself than her father. Menel has truly come into her own. She was sad before since she wasn't able to do that much to help when everything seemed to be falling apart, so now she takes tasks and chores on readily. She makes sure our large yard is kept up with, there is always something to eat thanks to her, I have constant assistance when taking care of Elrandra and Emethien, and she even helps me do the paperwork for the bills.

Falling Apart

Tinaldor, Menel, and I spent a long time at that pond. I continued to skate the whole time, but Tinaldor and Menel used the fresh snow to build a family of snowmen after they grew bored with circling the pond. The sun started to sink below the horizon. However, I didn't want to go home just yet. I let Rithranduil know I was taking his siblings out to dinner. The bistro we wanted to go to was absolutely packed, and though we were so hungry we were willing to wait until we could get a table. The meal was well worth it. Our order was also initially gotten very wrong, and we dined for free because of the major error.

Tinaldor and Menel went right to bed without even changing out of their day clothes they were so tired. I went to check on Nonion before I slipped off to bed myself. Nonion was sleeping peacefully in his crib having been well taken care of. Rithranduil remained awake in his room. I went in there to thank him. Silence was my answer. I repeated my thank you, and I was told to go away.

So I did.

Bitterness

I signed Rithranduil up for counseling.

I had to do something, and it was the one thing suggested to me over and over again. Rithranduil's pranks on me were getting to the point where he was causing me small amounts of pain. He would constantly scare and terrify Tinaldor and Menel thinking he was being funny making them scream their heads off. His time at school, which Rithranduil had seemed to enjoy, became another problem area as he started acting up and skipping frequently. Talking to him doesn't help. The more I tell him I love him, I'm concerned, and that I want to help the angrier he gets. Trying to be tough by reprimanding and punishing him is also pointless. Rithranduil ignores all my words, and never does his punishments.

Ithilas told me I should send him to military school to straighten him up. How could I do that? Rithranduil was happy, but then he changed so rapidly. Something had to have happened that I missed. I didn't feel that shipping him off to a place such as military school would be a good reinforcer that I wanted to help. It would surely only make him think that I was trying to get rid of him. That's why I went with counseling instead. If he wouldn't talk to any of us, perhaps Rithranduil would talk to someone outside the situation. I desperately wanted my happy little boy back.

Sudden Change

There was a time when I used to meditate a lot. I liked getting outside to sit on the grass and soak up the sun while I let all thoughts wash away. Then things got busy, and I broke the habit. I've tried various time to pick it back up, but it has only been recently that I've succeeded. Even if I am extremely tired I am somehow able to clear my mind. As a result, I can fall asleep faster and easier. Things really haven't been too bad with Rithranduil and Tinaldor, but it's been a while since I've had to deal young children who constantly need my care by myself. I relied on Sind and Griselda for so many things, and I didn't even know it. Having my two sons to look after is a fun kind of challenge though. The kind of busy I am is the kind of busy I like. I'll spread myself a little thinner when I do go ahead and have my next child soon, but I'm waiting just a little so I can have the a crib available instead of having to pull out another one, which would ruin the nice set-up of the nursery I have going on now.

700 Years

My first child born here in Twinbrook will be a boy. I was impatient to know, and so I got the ultrasound as soon as possible. I noticed this pregnancy a lot faster than I normally do. It had been while I was getting a massage at the spa that the touch of the masseuse just felt different, especially when her hands lightly brushed against my stomach. From there on I kept an eye out, and my suspicion was correct. I was happy to be having a boy even if I hadn't had much of a preference on gender this time around.