Confusion

Something bad must have happened. That was my first thought when consciousness very slowly returned to me. Everything had been so wonderful, then there was such a long period of darkness, and now there was a massive pain in my head added onto my world of darkness. I could barely make sense of anything. I was lying in a bed. My hair had been braided, but what idiot had done that? Everyone knew how much I hated having my hair tied up completely. The pain, me being in a bed, and my hair not how I liked it truly was all I could make out. I didn't have the strength to open my eyes. I figured whatever had happened to my head must have been making me rather out of sorts. Weird beeping sounds echoed from all directions while I swore I kept hearing a woman's voice in some unfamiliar language project out from the ceiling nearby. It could only be reasoned that I was dreaming. Otherwise, I was afraid to think what being in the strange place I was in meant for me.

The "dream" felt as if it lasted for days. I wanted out, but the darkness kept a firm hold on me. There where times when it almost overwhelmed me entirely. At those moments, I could sense panic from the others nearby. I had become aware of them after the darkness failed to take me the first time. Most of the voices I could vaguely catch were wholly unfamiliar. However, a few of them were ones I knew well- though I still couldn't make out who the voices belonged to. It was my desire to remember the owners of those voices that made me determined to wake up. I had really given opening my eyes a lot of effort before, but the pain had grown so intense that the darkness was much more preferable. Yet now I had also begun to grow scared. A faint whisper spoke to me that if I didn't wake up soon I would lose my ability to wake up for good. I wasn't sure what that meant. Would I die? Would I simply be stuck in the darkness forever?

Neither choice was desirable. That's why I fought against the pain to break free of my prison. I was terrified that I would fail as I wanted to start screaming from the rapidly growing burning sensation scalding my head, but just when the pain was about to reach its climax my eyes burst open as consciousness washed over me like the drench of a pail of cold water. I was convinced at first that I hadn't woken up though. I truly was in a strange place that looked nothing like the buildings back home. Metal boxes around me were the source of the beeping. Another box type object was mounted to wall. Was it some sort of mirror? I barely got to look at anything else as I cried out in alarm and more pain when bright lights suddenly stung my vision as they were turned on. What kind of lights were those? They weren't anything like the candles I was used to.

My attention became distracted again when my cry alerted the presence of the weirdly dressed man who had been behind the wall. He dashed around it with eyes wide open. I had been trying to sit up, but I froze when he saw me. He was frozen in place as well. His stare of disbelief quickly shifted into a smile of relief. Why was he looking at me like that? It was then that I noticed the something that alerted me to the reality that I was not dreaming. This place was so unfamiliar because I wasn't anywhere close to home. That man...

...was a human!

He dared to begin walking closer to me. I daresay that I panicked quite a lot. It didn't help that as soon as bolted up there was another great pain that surged through my body- this time coming from my arm. As I clutched the source of the sting, the human tried to explain that I had pulled my IV cord out. Like I cared! Who knew what kind of horrible fluids the humans had been forcibly injecting me with! Well, I was awake now, and they weren't going to do any more experiments or whatever they had been doing to me anymore! The human tried to get close again, and I began screaming. I would have thrown something at him if there had been anything within reach. Despite his best attempts to calm me, my yelling drowned out whatever he said. The imbecile eventually realized he needed to back away, and he did so.

It wasn't a split second later when another figure appeared from the other side of the wall. I recognized her instantly. Nana! Just as I had no idea why I was here, I had even less of an idea why she was here as well. All I knew was that I was more than ecstatic to see her. The pain in my head surged to horrific levels once I stopped my fit. I was about to pass out when she sped across the room to hold me tighter than I ever remembered her doing before. She hurriedly whispered words of comfort. Most of them were lost on me as my mind could barely think straight due to the state of agony my body was in. What helped more was her gentle petting of my hair. It left a soft tingle against my skin which helped to dull the stinging. I was then able to notice she was trying very hard not to cry, which made me perplexed.

The two of us remained like that for a minute or so before nana told me I had to let the human put the IV cord back in. Of course, I refused. Nana adamantly promised it only supplied me medicine I needed. It would help to make the pain in my head go away. So desperate to get rid of it, I reluctantly agreed. Nana kept me in her embrace as the man approached, and I buried myself against her. The human was a lot more gentle in attaching the cord than I expected.

He quickly backed up again. After several more minutes of nana soothing me, I chose to glance up for a second to stare at him. I was starting to process the situation better now that my head was calming and I had nana next to me. However, realizing what I had missed had made me only more confused. The human had been speaking in elvish. He had called me...nana. Me. I dared to stare at him for several more seconds. He was trying to appear indifferent, but he failed miserably. The expression of hurt and disappointment he was wearing was as clear as day. He wouldn't even look towards me, but kept his eyes locked on the wall. I began to feel guilty somehow.

It was after a few more minutes when the human asked for nana. He wanted to speak to her in private for just a moment. I hardly wanted her to go, but I could sense there was much more going on than what I was understanding. Nana stood up. She and the human wouldn't get to talk for a while longer though. It was only when I was out of nana's embrace that I saw half the reason of why I felt so strange. I let out another loud scream, which made nana and the human jump. Both asked what was wrong. I hurriedly stuck my arms out. Nana looked them over, but clearly didn't see the problem. Having trouble speaking, I gestured to all of me. She still didn't get what I meant, and told me I had to tell her what was wrong.

When did I get so big?!

That made her eyes go as wide as the human's were when he first saw me. Nana questioned again what I meant. When did I get so big?! What about that was hard to understand?! I began crying. I couldn't take the pain I was in, and I was so lost as to what was happening. There was silence from nana and the human for a few more seconds before nana asked me what the last thing I could recall was. I told her that she, ada, Eloril, and I had been in the western lands. We had spent the whole morning on the shore, and we were just about to head the the home of the western leader for lunch. But now...here she and I were in this strange room apparently on the human side of the wall.

Nana was silent again. Then she whispered something that made my heart drop. She told me the day at the shore had happened a very long time ago. I had only been forty-years-old. I was over eight hundred now. Trying too hard to process the information, I didn't pay attention when the human asked exactly how young forty years was for an elf. I missed nana's explanation that elves truly did grow so slowly. Until adulthood, it took a whole decade to reach what would be one year of development for a human. A forty-year-old elf was only the equivalent of a four-year-old human child. The human let out a noise of stunned amazement. I continued to cry.

The human requested nana to calm me down as much as she could. The other "doctors", whatever those were, needed to look at me. However, if I didn't want to be sedated then I had to let them approach me without throwing another fit. She nodded. The human said he had to go make some "calls", again- whatever those were, and left the room. Nana gently prompted me to lie down, and continued to softly stroke my hair. I closed my eyes to block out the terrible throbbing. Nana kept wiping away my tears, but I couldn't stop my crying. It was after several minutes when I was able to whisper one question though- "Why?" That was all I could get out, but nana understood. She took a deep breath before giving me an answer.

I really was over eight-hundred-years old now. We were indeed on the human side of the wall. The Goddess had given me an order to fulfill, and I had spent the past four hundred years working on it. She told me I might not be able to believe it, but I had managed to build a wonderful life for myself that I had been enjoying. However, a mentally unstable man had nearly destroyed everything. He had kidnapped me, and had been holding me hostage for the past two years. When he was discovered, he had attacked me. That was why I was where I was. The building I was in was a hospital, a place of healing. I had been asleep for about a week now. The rest of them had been afraid my injury had been too great, and that I would never wake up. Though it was clear I now had a very strong case of amnesia, I obviously had woken up. Nana was incredibly relieved.

I peeked my eyes open a little. She looked more guilty than relieved to me, but I didn't ask her about that. I had to ask her the more important question that was on my mind. I could feel myself slipping away again, and I had to have the answer before I fell back into the darkness. I asked her if that human truly was my son. She nodded again. Yes, he was my son whom I loved very much. His father had been a man I had loved greatly as well. She told me his name was Elemir. I gave no response. I knew nana had explained everything very basically for me, but I was still massively overwhelmed. I couldn't take all of it in. Even with my eyes closed, I could see my vision blackening. Nana sensed my exhaustion. She said it was alright for me to go ahead and sleep. I was safe now, and the rest of them would help me to understand everything again bit by bit.

The darkness whisked me off quickly after that. I was asleep in a flash, but awake in a flash too. The hours that passed felt like only seconds to me when I opened my eyes next. The IV had been removed from my arm. Nana was nowhere to be seen. However, there was another person in the room. He appeared nothing like the little boy in the memories that my mind had retained, but I knew the man in front of me was my brother. When he noticed that I was awake, I saw for the first time several tears fall from his eyes. Well, I assumed it was the first time I had seen him cry. I was missing about seven hundred and sixty years worth of memories. I managed to find the strength to stand, and Eloril pulled me into a tight but gentle embrace. Neither of us said anything. I was merely glad to be in his comforting presence, and I figured he was thoroughly overjoyed to be reunited after me having been kidnapped for apparently two whole years.

Eloril did finally pull away. He questioned me if it was really true if I couldn't remember anything past that day at the shore. I had to confirm it was true. His expression turned rightfully worried. Then he wanted another confirmation from me- that being if nana had told me that the human doctor from before was my son. I nodded even though I barely believed what she told me to be true. Eloril asked if I had been given any further details about why I had a son, or what the order the Goddess had given me had been about. I hadn't been told. Eloril gave me his own nod, and then requested that I not panic. I was confused as to why he said that. I soon found out. Eloril called for someone in the hallway to come in. My heart did begin to race when I notice that the man coming in was wearing human clothes, but then I spotted his elven ears. My curiosity allowed me to let him come close.

That was when I realized why Eloril had brought this particular man here. The similarities in appearance between me and him were too great to be denied. The new man quickly proved my suspicions true. We shook hands, and he told me his name was Thralas. He was my son, and seventy-ninth child. I thought I had heard him wrong. Seventy-ninth? That couldn't possibly be right. That I had two sons was beyond my grasp, but seventy-nine children? Eloril must have been reading my mind. He revealed that the number was higher now. I actually had eighty-eight children. I told him to stop joking around. I was already struggling enough just to stand and cope with the fact that I wasn't a tiny child anymore. Them lying to me as they were wasn't amusing in the slightest.

Eloril placed his hand on my shoulder, and looked at me earnestly. They weren't lying. The order I had received from the Goddess was a simple enough concept to understand. It had been requested of me to give birth to one hundred half-elven half-human children with each pregnancy being conceived with the help of a different father. When my mouth dropped open, Eloril continued his explanation by saying that part of the purpose of it all was to restore the old glory of the human race. The more important reason was that each of my children would help to influence the necessary change needed in the world in order to give it a brighter future than the dark path it was currently on.

I began to feel light-headed, but Eloril clearly didn't know when to stop. He then admitted that eighty-eight children wasn't actually an accurate total. I had had eighty-eight children who fit the requirements of the order, but I had raised ninety-five. Two of the extra children, one of them being Elemir, had been children of fathers who had already had other sons with me. One extra son I had adopted, and one had been my granddaughter that I had taken in. Anondil, Melui, and Navinai, the last three...well, Eloril said he would tell me about them later on when I had a better grasp on things. Thralas rolled his eyes and pointed out that he was about to make my head explode. Eloril winced when he glanced over at me. My expression was calm, but because I was in shock. I didn't how to react or what to think or do.

Thralas, hoping me to get a better handle on the situation, said that he had brought along two others with him. He, nana, Eloril, and Elemir had a feeling they might help to jog my memories. A shrug was my response. Thralas seemed a bit worried, but left anyway to collect who had been waiting out in the hallway. He and nana walked back in each carrying a toddler. The one nana was carrying caught my attention instantly. I spoke the name "Andethon" before I even realized I had spoken. Nana, Eloril, and Thralas smiled. That was indeed his name.

I had to ask nana though if she was sure he wasn't my younger brother instead. He looked much more like her than he did me. She laughed, and told me he was for sure my son. I jumped back out of instinct when she moved to hand him to me. However, as soon as Andethon was placed in my arms I felt a sense of familiarity and something that was simply so...right that I was left stunned. I couldn't remember a thing about the toddler in my arms besides his name, but my body and heart knew without a doubt that he was mine. Now that he was in my grasp again, I noticed how badly I had been wanting to hold him. Andethon must have been rather attached to me as well. He had been fussy and grumpy when held by nana, but settled down the second he had been passed to me.

I glanced over at the other little boy.

He lacked the elven ears that Thralas had, but that fair hair and those green eyes were all the evidence I needed to be sure another son was before me. Nana asked me if I knew his name. When I revealed that I didn't, I was told that it was Thoronton. It still didn't ring any bells. I reached out to him, but he pulled away from me as he buried himself against Thralas. Thralas apologized. Thoronton was rather shy, and didn't take well to people he didn't know. I wondered why he didn't know me if he was my son. Eloril reminded me I had been held captive for the past two years. Thoronton had only been born shortly before I was taken. Andethon had actually been born while I had been hidden away as he was the son of the man who had stolen me. The lone reason he and the others knew Andethon's name was because I had kept a journal that the police had found when they had examined the area where I had been kept.

I asked what "the police" were when two more men walked into the room. They each wore the same outfit. Eloril didn't look happy to seem them. Apparently, he had been expecting Elemir and the other doctors to have come in next instead of them. He told them their questioning could wait until I was properly looked at. The one who had to be another one of my sons answered him back that Elemir had said it was fine for them to come in first. As it was clear I wouldn't be able to tell them much, the questioning wouldn't take long. They had all thought it would be better to get it out of the way. Nana and Thralas left with Thoronton and Andethon, and Eloril introduced me to Maldor, who was indeed my son, and his partner, Michael. Maldor explained that the two of them helped to enforce the laws of the land. They understood there wasn't much I could tell them about my kidnapping considering I couldn't remember a thing about it, but they were still required to ask.

When I truly had nothing to say to them, I was given what details they had discovered in another attempt to jog my memory. My kidnapper, Silas Snodgrass, had either knocked or drugged me unconscious before loading me into his car and taking me off. Before leaving, he had fired one shot at Elemir with the shot missing. There had then been complete silence from the man, which had confused everyone. It had been discovered recently though that Silas had had a distant cousin helping him to keep me hidden. I didn't quite understand the occupation of Silas' cousin. Maldor and Michael made it sound like some big deal. Apparently him covering up the crime while being a member of some Bureau of Investigation was a right scandal. He had turned himself in several days after I had been found near a road along with Andethon and a Shiba Inu dog I had dubbed "Ral."

I asked what had happened to the one call Silas. Michael revealed to me that he had been bludgeoned to death with a fire iron. Judging by the blood found on it, it had been the same fire iron Silas had used to hit my own head. Due to it taking several days to find the very well hidden house where I had been kept, the fire iron was still being examined for evidence. The people in "forensics" were having trouble getting the fingerprints off the metal. It was suspected though that I had managed to get the weapon away from Silas at some point, and used it against him as defense. It then must have been that I had managed to gather my son and dog and make it to the road before my injuries caused me to collapse.

Michael paused when I suddenly sat back down on the bed. Eloril and Maldor seemed concerned as well. My head had begun to hurt again, and I'm sure they could tell. The pain was different though. It wasn't the same basic ache caused by the injury, but because I was desperately trying to bring a memory to the surface of my consciousness. Once again unaware that I was speaking, I whispered that what Michael had told me of what had been supposed wasn't right at all. Maldor and Michael looked excited. I was remembering something? I let my mind sort through everything for a few more seconds. I think I was actually remembering something.

I hadn't killed Silas. Some other man had somehow gotten into the house. There had been sounds of a fight. Silas had come into my room, and through his words he had revealed the man was an elf. I had then struggled against him when he tried to get me to leave, and that was when he had hit me twice in the head with the fire iron. The other man had burst into the room right before Silas killed me. I had blacked out just after Silas had been tackled to the ground. His leg had been broken, and the man had gotten hold of the fire iron. I paused. Maldor and Michael looked even more eager than before. There had been some slight evidence of another person involved. They asked me if there was anything else.

I had a hard time gathering my thoughts again. Everything was coming to me more as feelings than anything I could actually see. I told them I knew the man had been wearing red shoes. There was something else that was important though. It took me a minute more to get it. I had briefly woken up while the man had been carrying me away from the house. I had been too out of it to understand most of the conversation, but I had realized that he had been talking to...Eloril.

There was a tense silence that overcame the room. I hadn't noticed it, but Eloril had been turning pale as I had been speaking. Most of the color had drained out of his face when I spoke my last sentence. Maldor and Michael looked at him suspiciously, and Michael appeared truly angry. Realizing I had just gotten my brother in big trouble, I pleaded to Maldor and Michael not to heed my words too much. I had no idea if what I was saying was even right or not. There was also no possible way for the man and Eloril to have been communicating considering Eloril was not there with us. I must have been imagining it only. That was when Maldor took out a strange looking little box. He told me it was called a cell phone, and that it could be used by people to talk over long distances. I told him that there was no way the man could have held it up in the way Maldor then showed me. He had been carrying both me and Andethon. Michael mentioned something about a "Bluetooth headset", which made Maldor nod.

He then said that I didn't need to worry anymore. Eloril obviously had some very important information he hadn't thought to discuss with them, so they were going to go talk to him out in the hallway. I cringed as they left. Eloril was practically glaring at me. I understood what I had said had somehow placed my brother in a very troublesome predicament,

but...

How was I supposed to have known......?!