I sat on my bed wondering what to do. It had been a long time, and Eloril, Maldor, and Michael had not returned. Nana and Thralas didn't show up either. I had no idea where everyone had gone or what was going to happen next. Though my head still hurt terribly and I felt unsteady on my feet, I decided to explore a little. I had grown used to the room I was in, and wanted to see more of the hospital. A quick peek down the corridor showed me that there was little else besides seats and glass doors that led to rooms appearing to be quite similar to my own. No one was in sight, although I could sense that others were about nearby. I started wandering to the right. However, I barely got anywhere. My room was on the corner, and as soon as I reached the intersection a sense of familiarity too strong to be ignored washed over me. My eyes were drawn to the room at the end of the way.
I softly tip-toed my way over to the door. Everything about the hospital was so quiet. I felt like I would get in trouble if I made noise. Peering through the glass showed me that the room was set up for two occupants. I could see the bed on the right, but what I desperately want to see was the other side of the room. There was a strong pull that told me there was someone there even though the lights were off. Jiggling the door handle filled me with disappointment as I realized the room was locked. I craned my neck in one last attempt to get a glimpse of what was behind the wall.
Elemir gave me a heart attack when he suddenly appeared next to me. He backed away quickly probably thinking I would throw another fit. While my heart was racing again, it was only because he had scared me. Nana had told me to trust him, so I would trust him. Knowing that he was my son helped somewhat too. I still wasn't sure of how to feel about the whole me having ninety-five children thing. Elemir apologized, and I gave my own to him as well. His attitude seemed to improve when he realized I had no problem with him approaching me. He told me I wasn't supposed to be wandering about on my own, but was curious as to why I had been staring into the empty room. It was truly empty after all then? I revealed I had felt some connection with the area. I thought someone would be in there.
Elemir gave me a gloomy smile. The bed on the left side had once been where his father had stayed for a while after he had fallen down some stairs before he passed away. I had come to visit him a lot while he had been here, which was most likely why I felt what I felt. That was surprising to me. Why on earth would I have come to see some human so much? Elemir made my head wince with pain when he told me his father, Wesley, and I had been in love. I had even purposely broken some elven law when I let him move into my house so we could live together. That was preposterous! I would never fall in love with a human, let alone do such a thing! Elemir flashed me another smile, a patient one this time. What he had told me was the truth. According to what he had learned from nana and Eloril over the past two years, I was definitely an entirely different person from who I had been before I had started the task- from the woman I thought I was now. There were going to be a lot of things I would find out I had done that the me seeing through my eyes currently would find hard to believe.
I was once again lost for a response. A mildly awkward silence passed between us before Elemir hesitantly asked if I really was seeing everything through the mind of what would be a four-year-old child. I had to respond yes and no. All of what I could remember was from when I had been so young. That was all I knew. I wanted to act like a child, but there was some part of me that understood I was an adult, which was keeping me in check. It was really difficult though as I kept shifting forth between the child and the adult. I was trying to be both at the same time, and that didn't make anything easier as I was already struggling to understand everything. It wouldn't be too long before I made another mistake like the one I had made in talking about the elf man to Maldor and Michael.
Elemir kind of grimaced as he nodded at that statement. He had run into Maldor and Michael as they had been escorting Eloril out of the hospital. They had taken him somewhere? Elemir told me he was being taken to the precinct as Eloril was in some pretty hot water. The fact that he knew Silas' killer and had been in contact with him without saying anything about it was a serious issue the police weren't going to overlook. I covered my face and groaned. Wonderful! Just wonderful! I had gone and gotten myself kidnapped, I was causing trouble for everyone since I couldn't remember a thing, and now I was going to get my brother sent to jail! I was on the verge of tears again when Elemir placed his hand comfortingly on my shoulders. He told me I didn't need to worry. How could I not?!
With another smile on his face, Elemir revealed that my father was already dealing with the issue. What? Ada? Elemir explained that ada had rushed over to Twinbrook as soon as he had learned I was kidnapped. Some other elf was taking care of the eastern lands back home while he, nana, and Eloril were gone. Ada had been here the first day I had brought to the hospital, but had left for the human capital city the following morning. Elemir hadn't understood why he had left until he had run into Eloril, Maldor, and Michael before they had departed. Ada also knew who the other elf was, and had gone to the capital to discuss with the country's leaders his fate. It had to be done that way as the elf was obviously not a citizen of this country, and that changed how the entire manner was dealt with. From what nana had mentioned to him earlier in the day before I had woken up, ada and the country's leaders had pretty much come to a consensus. Maldor had been sure once they took Eloril to the precinct and were able to get in contact with ada and the leaders that Eloril would get out of trouble considering the matter had gone way higher than what was in the town's control. Also given how desperate the humans were to start real communication with the elves again, Elemir was certain himself that everything would work out fine in the end.
His words did relieve my worry. If ada was taking care of things, then they would be taken care of properly indeed. I asked Elemir if he had any idea who the elf man might be, but he didn't have a clue. Apparently, no one did save for ada, Eloril, perhaps nana, and now the country's leaders. He was being kept very quiet. Not even the media had any idea about his existence. Media? Journalists and reporters, Elemir clarified. Those whose job it is to report on what's going on in the world to the rest of everyone. My kidnapping had drawn a massive amount of attention ever since ada had learned of it. I smiled. Ada would make it a very big deal. Elemir's expression fell when he said not all of the attention had been good. Maldor had to escort my children still attending school to the school to keep the reporters off their backs. People were constantly trespassing on my house's property, and there were a few security officers around the hospital at that very moment keeping those who had too much curiosity away. Elemir told me not to stress too much, but he had overheard nana and Eloril talking occasionally about moving the family away from Twinbrook.
I didn't have anything to say about that. I couldn't remember this town at all. Whether we stayed or went wasn't any issue to me. Elemir was glad I had taken the news of the possible move well. What he wanted me to focus on was recovering. The rest of them would take care of everything else. He then laughed at me. I really was not supposed to be wandering about on my own. I shouldn't have even been standing, but I had made him get carried away in conversation. I laughed myself. I had no idea what I should or shouldn't do, let alone what I could or couldn't do. That I hadn't been sent back to bed right away was all on him. Elemir smiled widely at that, and looked genuinely very happy. Perhaps what I had said was more like the me he knew.
He was right that I shouldn't have been standing though. As soon as I turned to follow him back to the room, I all but passed out right then and there. Elemir managed to catch me before I could do more damage to myself. The last thing I needed was to smack my head against the tile. I apologized weakly as he tried to help me to get back on my feet. He reassured me. He had dealt with much worse incidents, and I was very light. I was glad he thought so for I could not find the strength to stand again, and he had to fully carry me back to my room. We were both glad I hadn't gone too far. When Elemir got me situated on my bed, I began to feel better. I also felt worse though.
I was really in a bad state, wasn't I? Elemir had to nod to the affirmative. He comforted me once again though by telling me I was really beating the odds. What Silas had done to me should have killed me right away. It was beyond him and the rest of the doctors how I had survived, or how I had managed to stay alive long enough to get to the hospital. It was even more miraculous that I had woken up. None of them had been expecting that I would. That I was awake, that I could be coherent, that I could remember anything at all, that I could walk around a little- it was making his own head spin from how amazing and unprecedented it was. Then there was that. I asked him what that was, but Elemir gave me a teasing grin and told me I would have to wait until after my testing and check-up was done.
He left me to rest for a little while. I closed my eyes for a few minutes, but soon I was sitting back up. My body was sore and aching from having been lying still for a whole week. The pain in my head had lessened to a bearable sting, and I was growing more and more curious about the world around me by the minute. However, what I was most curious about was myself. The part of me that was the tiny child could not get over the body it was in. I poked and studied myself as if my body was separate from me. I found a lot of fascination in simply curling and uncurling my fingers. Perhaps I found too much fascination with it though. Elemir calling for me loudly made me jump in shock. He and some other doctor were standing in the room watching me. When had they gotten there? How many times had they tried to get my attention? From the look on the other doctor's face, I must have been rather out of it.
The two said nothing about the incident. The blush across my cheeks must have convinced them not to. I was situated in some sort of chair with wheels, and my check-up and testing began. I was scared through most of it, and most especially when I was put in what was called an MRI machine. I cried at that point. I told Elemir afterwards that I wanted nana to be with me through all of what was going on, but he sympathetically told me she wasn't allowed to escort me through the testing. Technically, he wasn't even supposed to be with me given our relation. However, the hospital had allowed him the exception in order to keep me calm. The other staff in the hospital were afraid I might go off again. Knowing that I should be on my own but that Elemir was there gave me enough confidence to finish the rest of what had to be done in a decent mood.
It felt like it all took hours. I was exhausted when I was returned to my bed. I didn't want to sleep right away for Elemir had to answer the question of that. He pulled out two strange looking pictures that were black and white. They were two images of my brain captured at two separate times. The first one was of when I had first arrived at the hospital. Elemir showed me how bad the damage had been. The second one revealed that a lot of the damage was gone. That was the amazing thing. The damage should have killed me or left me a vegetable. However, what had been broken was steadily repairing itself. It went against everything that the humans knew about head trauma. I asked him why my brain was so different. He playfully tugged on my ear and gave one word for explanation- "Elf."
I was eager to know then if my brain being able to repair itself was a good sign for my memories coming back. Elemir admitted he had no clue what was going to happen. That I could feel familiarity towards things like Wesley's hospital room and that I had recalled Andethon's name was a good sign. However, it would just as well likely be that even though my brain might fully restore itself it might not be able to bring back what was lost due to the original damage. It was all a toss-up at this point. All any of us could do was simply wait. I nodded in mild disappointment. Elemir gave me one more sympathetic smile, and helped me prepared for another bout of sleep. I truly was exhausted, and slipped off quickly.
When I woke up, nana was there again. She was on the bed with me. I didn't open my eyes despite that I had woken. I asked her where she had gone. She apologized, and explained that she and Thralas had had to take Thoronton and Andethon home as they had both gotten very fussy. She hadn't planned on Eloril being taken away from the hospital, which is why she hadn't worried about leaving me. I apologized once more, and was reassured yet again to not worry. The situation was getting sorted out just fine. Eloril wouldn't be getting in trouble. I sighed with relief. I wanted to talk to nana more, but I was already drifting off. I had to question first though why she was on the bed with me. Nana was slightly perplexed. I had been somewhat awake when she had returned, and had requested she lay next to me. Oh. I couldn't remember that at all. Nana told me it was fine. "Fine." I had a feeling I would be hearing a lot of that word in the days to come, but what I wanted to concern myself with was getting more sleep. Nana was able to get a little more conversation out of me before I fell back into unconsciousness though. My children still in school would be getting out for the day soon. They were horribly eager to come and see me if that was alright.
Already halfway to dreamland, I whispered that that would be fine.
Though I said that, I wasn't really prepared to meet my younger children. It was one thing to have children who were grown adults providing for themselves, but to see the little ones who were supposed to be requiring so much from me was something else entirely. The five rushed into the room in excitement. I had been told their names, but my daughter called Ranna was the only one whose name I could connect to her right away. I think I was overwhelmed by the identical Aewen and Alcarien. Having identical children when I already had no clue as to who any of them were wasn't incredibly helpful. I was glad Delerith and Delindir were a girl and a boy.
I was certain the whole thing was going to go terribly. I didn't know what the five were going to expect from me. Nana must have given them a thorough explanation of what was going on with me though. They all understood that I had forgotten a lot and wasn't the like what they themselves remembered. It was dear to see that they were happy simply getting to be with me again. They talked a lot about themselves to hopefully help me recall more about them. Ranna talked of her love for music. She knew how to play the guitar, cello, drums, piano, and violin all to various extents. Aewen spent a lot of time with Maldor as she thought herself very brave and wanted to be a police officer too when she grew older. Alcarien talked mostly of how she liked to play games with her siblings. I could tell she was the motherly one out of the lot. Delerith went on about some sort of training equipment I had bought from a place called China. She was using it to teach herself a certain kind of fighting style. Delindir really liked video games, and was ecstatic when he got to tell me what they were as I had no idea what he was talking about.
Them continuing to talk like that went on for a while. I was trying my best to keep up and not ask a ridiculous amount of questions even though it felt like my children were speaking a foreign language. It was just when I started feeling comfortable when something unexpected and rather frightening happened.
There I was sitting on the bed listening to my children talk. I blinked, and all of a sudden I was standing next to Ranna while Alcarien and Delindir, who were sitting on the bench in my room, chatted away merrily. I jerked back a little in alarm before fully leaping back in surprise and great confusion. Unfortunately, I jumped right into the wall. My head only slightly hit it, but it was enough to make the pain flare up intensely. Ranna, Alcarien, and Delindir stared at me with worry, and Ranna called for Elemir.
Already alerted by the noise of me bumping into the wall, Elemir appeared from the other side of the room in seconds. He asked what was going on. I stood there stunned with my mouth open. Ranna, Alcarien, and Delindir had no idea what had happened. The four of us had been talking when I had randomly become spooked. Elemir gently pulled me away from the wall, and asked again what the problem was. I quietly but quickly explained that I had been on the bed, I had blinked, and when I opened my eyes I was over here. Elemir frowned. It had been hours since Ranna, Aewen, Alcarien, Delerith, and Delindir had arrived. Eloril had come back as well after being cleared from getting in trouble. He had apologized to me for getting angry when he left. We all and nana had gone outside to have an afternoon snack. Delerith had taught me a simple card game. Did I not remember any of that? I shook my head. I had been on the bed, and now I was here. There was nothing in between. Elemir frowned, and looked greatly worried. So I had had a blackout?
I suppose I had.
Elemir tried his best not to appear even more concerned. I felt horrible. I barely listened to Elemir comforting me. My head was doing all sorts of somersaults. I had been feeling better, but then this occurred. What made it even worse is...
...that it happened again. Elemir was there reassuring me. I blinked. I was alone in my room standing next to my bed. It was dark outside. Whatever had happened in the hours between the two moments had vanished. Though I was right next to my bed, I collapsed to the ground as I had not the strength to make it there. If the blackouts were going to continue, I was terrified I was going to break. It was awful enough I couldn't remember my past. Now I was losing massive chunks of the present as well. I sobbed without shame for several minutes there on the floor. Elemir, blessedly still being around, rushed over to me before too much longer. He suspected right when he asked if I had blacked-out again. All I could do was give a pitiful nod. He sighed heavily, having no words for me. It was enough that he was there to hold me though. I most likely never would have made it to the bed otherwise. He eventually assisted me in standing and getting me set for bed. Elemir suggested that perhaps I just needed some rest. I hadn't gotten any sleep since early afternoon, and before that when I had taken the other naps I had had no problem with blacking out. Again, all I could do was give a pitiful nod. However, I was more than ready to sleep anyway. Elemir placed a kiss on my forehead, and I was lost to the night.
As it was, Elemir had been exactly right. Sleep was what I needed to stop the blackouts from happening. Otherwise, if I didn't take naps throughout the day my brain, which had now acquired a limit for what I could take in, would toss out everything if I didn't give it a chance to sort through everything before I hit that point. My days became full of scheduled naps, testing, and check-ups sprinkled with frequent visits from my family. Either nana or Eloril was there at the hospital most of the time. They brought along Thoronton and Andethon every so often. Ranna, Aewen, Alcarien, Delerith, and Delindir made daily appearances as well. More of my adult children came to see me as well. Goddess help me, but it's so hard to recall any of their names. I slowly began to understand more as the days passed, but there was no improvement in me recalling what I had once known.
I woke up one day to find ada sitting next to me holding my hand. I practically leapt at him. He was thrilled to see me awake as I was to simply thrilled to see him. I felt so much more at ease having him there. I tried to ask about the elf who had found me, but ada refused to tell me anything other than what his punishment had been. As he was a citizen of the elven lands, this country's leaders had allowed ada to determine his punishment. Ada admitted that he didn't blame this other elf at all. He would have killed Silas himself simply for taking me. Still, a punishment had to be dealt. The elf had been sent back to our lands, and had to keep himself isolated for thirty years- thirty years being how old Silas had been. If he tried to have contact with anyone, his sentence would double. I was so curious as to why the elf was in the human lands at all, but like I said, ada kept his mouth shut.
Ada worried me a bit as well. He smiled at me when we were together. He treated me exactly like the tiny child I thought I was. I often fell asleep in his arms. However, when he thought I wasn't looking there would be a serious expression on his face. He appeared exhausted and older than I can ever recall seeing him, although I suppose that's not saying much. It concerned me that the joyful and lively spark that had always been in his eyes was hardly there anymore.
What was worse was how he and nana got along. I was horrified at ada's harsh treatment towards her. Nana had been nothing but wonderful to me since I had woken up, but when ada was around he refused to let her get near me. It was if he thought she would tear me to pieces. Besides him telling her to get away when she got too close, they otherwise never spoke. Of course like so many other things, everyone felt as if I needed to be kept in the dark about what was going on. I knew everyone was worried about what would happen if something too stressful was revealed to me, but it was heartbreaking seeing my parents' once loving relationship turn so cold and having no clue as to why.
After two more weeks of me being in the hospital, I was finally released. My brain had all but healed even though the blackouts kept happening when I wasn't careful. I was scheduled to go back to the hospital frequently so the doctors could monitor how things were going, but there was little left for them to do. Everyone was ready to get me home. We were all hoping that me starting to live a normal life in the house I had lived in for so long would help to bring my memories back. Ada and Eloril escorted me home on a Friday evening. I couldn't remember the house, but it was familiar. That was something.
I barely managed to get in the door before I was playfully attacked by something was that even more familiar than the house. It was my Ral. Like Andethon, I knew his name and it felt right to give him a good squeeze despite the fact that my mind could bring nothing else about him to my consciousness.
Ral bounded all around us as ada gave me a tour of the house while Eloril went to the nursery to help nana get Thoronton and Andethon down for the night. The children were more ecstatic than ever. They all showed off their rooms with pride. Then ada showed me my own room. I was pleased by how nice it was, and ada laughed loudly at me when I was drawn to the rainbow lights on my dresser. He found them peculiar, but I had always been fascinated with them. I collected an extra one whenever I could. I laughed too.
My attention was soon shifted to the pictures in my room. In the two pictures by the dresser and the two by the door there was the same man in each. I had to ask ada if he was the Wesley that Elemir had told me about. Ada told me he was. Was it also true I had let him live with me? Ada answered affirmatively again. I was worried if I would get in trouble, but I was reassured the matter had been dealt with long ago. The others back home had forgiven my actions. That was one burden off my chest. I stared at the pictures harder. I must have really cared for this Wesley then if I had all these pictures of him hanging on the walls, huh? Ada admitted he had hung up the two pictures by the mirror. Save for the other pictures by the door, I had given all other evidence of our relationship to Elemir for him to keep at his house.
Ada had gone through most of it when he had learned of its existence. He had paid special attention to the videos. When he had learned of Wesley living with me, he had been furious with the man and hated him even though I had praised him so highly in my letters. Ada did feel as if he had been leading me astray. Those videos had changed everything though for ada had seen how strong and true Wesley's love for me had been. He had protected me. He had made me happy. He had been a wonderful man ada would have loved to call his son-in-law. He regretted that he hadn't gotten the chance to meet him before he passed away. He regretted that he hadn't been able to stop me from being hurt and forgetting the beautiful love I had had.
I said it was alright, but ada still wasn't happy. There was too much he felt guilty about to forgive himself. I wasn't sure what to say, so I gave him a long hug instead. It seemed to cheer him up somewhat. Ada then showed me where all my things were, and left me so I could prepare for bed. I took out my nightgown, but was quickly standing in front of the pictures again. I stared at the one of just me and Wesley. There was that small pull of familiarity about him as there was with most of the other things in the house, yet try as I might nothing more would come to me. I made myself more upset the longer I stared at the two of us. It wasn't just me not being able to remember the man I supposedly loved though. It was me not being able to recall the person next to him that was driving me crazy. I hated having a big black nothing consuming what should have been centuries worth of memories.
The woman in that picture and me looked exactly alike.
However, I had no idea who she was......
His words did relieve my worry. If ada was taking care of things, then they would be taken care of properly indeed. I asked Elemir if he had any idea who the elf man might be, but he didn't have a clue. Apparently, no one did save for ada, Eloril, perhaps nana, and now the country's leaders. He was being kept very quiet. Not even the media had any idea about his existence. Media? Journalists and reporters, Elemir clarified. Those whose job it is to report on what's going on in the world to the rest of everyone. My kidnapping had drawn a massive amount of attention ever since ada had learned of it. I smiled. Ada would make it a very big deal. Elemir's expression fell when he said not all of the attention had been good. Maldor had to escort my children still attending school to the school to keep the reporters off their backs. People were constantly trespassing on my house's property, and there were a few security officers around the hospital at that very moment keeping those who had too much curiosity away. Elemir told me not to stress too much, but he had overheard nana and Eloril talking occasionally about moving the family away from Twinbrook.
I didn't have anything to say about that. I couldn't remember this town at all. Whether we stayed or went wasn't any issue to me. Elemir was glad I had taken the news of the possible move well. What he wanted me to focus on was recovering. The rest of them would take care of everything else. He then laughed at me. I really was not supposed to be wandering about on my own. I shouldn't have even been standing, but I had made him get carried away in conversation. I laughed myself. I had no idea what I should or shouldn't do, let alone what I could or couldn't do. That I hadn't been sent back to bed right away was all on him. Elemir smiled widely at that, and looked genuinely very happy. Perhaps what I had said was more like the me he knew.
He was right that I shouldn't have been standing though. As soon as I turned to follow him back to the room, I all but passed out right then and there. Elemir managed to catch me before I could do more damage to myself. The last thing I needed was to smack my head against the tile. I apologized weakly as he tried to help me to get back on my feet. He reassured me. He had dealt with much worse incidents, and I was very light. I was glad he thought so for I could not find the strength to stand again, and he had to fully carry me back to my room. We were both glad I hadn't gone too far. When Elemir got me situated on my bed, I began to feel better. I also felt worse though.
I was really in a bad state, wasn't I? Elemir had to nod to the affirmative. He comforted me once again though by telling me I was really beating the odds. What Silas had done to me should have killed me right away. It was beyond him and the rest of the doctors how I had survived, or how I had managed to stay alive long enough to get to the hospital. It was even more miraculous that I had woken up. None of them had been expecting that I would. That I was awake, that I could be coherent, that I could remember anything at all, that I could walk around a little- it was making his own head spin from how amazing and unprecedented it was. Then there was that. I asked him what that was, but Elemir gave me a teasing grin and told me I would have to wait until after my testing and check-up was done.
He left me to rest for a little while. I closed my eyes for a few minutes, but soon I was sitting back up. My body was sore and aching from having been lying still for a whole week. The pain in my head had lessened to a bearable sting, and I was growing more and more curious about the world around me by the minute. However, what I was most curious about was myself. The part of me that was the tiny child could not get over the body it was in. I poked and studied myself as if my body was separate from me. I found a lot of fascination in simply curling and uncurling my fingers. Perhaps I found too much fascination with it though. Elemir calling for me loudly made me jump in shock. He and some other doctor were standing in the room watching me. When had they gotten there? How many times had they tried to get my attention? From the look on the other doctor's face, I must have been rather out of it.
The two said nothing about the incident. The blush across my cheeks must have convinced them not to. I was situated in some sort of chair with wheels, and my check-up and testing began. I was scared through most of it, and most especially when I was put in what was called an MRI machine. I cried at that point. I told Elemir afterwards that I wanted nana to be with me through all of what was going on, but he sympathetically told me she wasn't allowed to escort me through the testing. Technically, he wasn't even supposed to be with me given our relation. However, the hospital had allowed him the exception in order to keep me calm. The other staff in the hospital were afraid I might go off again. Knowing that I should be on my own but that Elemir was there gave me enough confidence to finish the rest of what had to be done in a decent mood.
It felt like it all took hours. I was exhausted when I was returned to my bed. I didn't want to sleep right away for Elemir had to answer the question of that. He pulled out two strange looking pictures that were black and white. They were two images of my brain captured at two separate times. The first one was of when I had first arrived at the hospital. Elemir showed me how bad the damage had been. The second one revealed that a lot of the damage was gone. That was the amazing thing. The damage should have killed me or left me a vegetable. However, what had been broken was steadily repairing itself. It went against everything that the humans knew about head trauma. I asked him why my brain was so different. He playfully tugged on my ear and gave one word for explanation- "Elf."
I was eager to know then if my brain being able to repair itself was a good sign for my memories coming back. Elemir admitted he had no clue what was going to happen. That I could feel familiarity towards things like Wesley's hospital room and that I had recalled Andethon's name was a good sign. However, it would just as well likely be that even though my brain might fully restore itself it might not be able to bring back what was lost due to the original damage. It was all a toss-up at this point. All any of us could do was simply wait. I nodded in mild disappointment. Elemir gave me one more sympathetic smile, and helped me prepared for another bout of sleep. I truly was exhausted, and slipped off quickly.
When I woke up, nana was there again. She was on the bed with me. I didn't open my eyes despite that I had woken. I asked her where she had gone. She apologized, and explained that she and Thralas had had to take Thoronton and Andethon home as they had both gotten very fussy. She hadn't planned on Eloril being taken away from the hospital, which is why she hadn't worried about leaving me. I apologized once more, and was reassured yet again to not worry. The situation was getting sorted out just fine. Eloril wouldn't be getting in trouble. I sighed with relief. I wanted to talk to nana more, but I was already drifting off. I had to question first though why she was on the bed with me. Nana was slightly perplexed. I had been somewhat awake when she had returned, and had requested she lay next to me. Oh. I couldn't remember that at all. Nana told me it was fine. "Fine." I had a feeling I would be hearing a lot of that word in the days to come, but what I wanted to concern myself with was getting more sleep. Nana was able to get a little more conversation out of me before I fell back into unconsciousness though. My children still in school would be getting out for the day soon. They were horribly eager to come and see me if that was alright.
Already halfway to dreamland, I whispered that that would be fine.
Though I said that, I wasn't really prepared to meet my younger children. It was one thing to have children who were grown adults providing for themselves, but to see the little ones who were supposed to be requiring so much from me was something else entirely. The five rushed into the room in excitement. I had been told their names, but my daughter called Ranna was the only one whose name I could connect to her right away. I think I was overwhelmed by the identical Aewen and Alcarien. Having identical children when I already had no clue as to who any of them were wasn't incredibly helpful. I was glad Delerith and Delindir were a girl and a boy.
I was certain the whole thing was going to go terribly. I didn't know what the five were going to expect from me. Nana must have given them a thorough explanation of what was going on with me though. They all understood that I had forgotten a lot and wasn't the like what they themselves remembered. It was dear to see that they were happy simply getting to be with me again. They talked a lot about themselves to hopefully help me recall more about them. Ranna talked of her love for music. She knew how to play the guitar, cello, drums, piano, and violin all to various extents. Aewen spent a lot of time with Maldor as she thought herself very brave and wanted to be a police officer too when she grew older. Alcarien talked mostly of how she liked to play games with her siblings. I could tell she was the motherly one out of the lot. Delerith went on about some sort of training equipment I had bought from a place called China. She was using it to teach herself a certain kind of fighting style. Delindir really liked video games, and was ecstatic when he got to tell me what they were as I had no idea what he was talking about.
Them continuing to talk like that went on for a while. I was trying my best to keep up and not ask a ridiculous amount of questions even though it felt like my children were speaking a foreign language. It was just when I started feeling comfortable when something unexpected and rather frightening happened.
There I was sitting on the bed listening to my children talk. I blinked, and all of a sudden I was standing next to Ranna while Alcarien and Delindir, who were sitting on the bench in my room, chatted away merrily. I jerked back a little in alarm before fully leaping back in surprise and great confusion. Unfortunately, I jumped right into the wall. My head only slightly hit it, but it was enough to make the pain flare up intensely. Ranna, Alcarien, and Delindir stared at me with worry, and Ranna called for Elemir.
Already alerted by the noise of me bumping into the wall, Elemir appeared from the other side of the room in seconds. He asked what was going on. I stood there stunned with my mouth open. Ranna, Alcarien, and Delindir had no idea what had happened. The four of us had been talking when I had randomly become spooked. Elemir gently pulled me away from the wall, and asked again what the problem was. I quietly but quickly explained that I had been on the bed, I had blinked, and when I opened my eyes I was over here. Elemir frowned. It had been hours since Ranna, Aewen, Alcarien, Delerith, and Delindir had arrived. Eloril had come back as well after being cleared from getting in trouble. He had apologized to me for getting angry when he left. We all and nana had gone outside to have an afternoon snack. Delerith had taught me a simple card game. Did I not remember any of that? I shook my head. I had been on the bed, and now I was here. There was nothing in between. Elemir frowned, and looked greatly worried. So I had had a blackout?
I suppose I had.
Elemir tried his best not to appear even more concerned. I felt horrible. I barely listened to Elemir comforting me. My head was doing all sorts of somersaults. I had been feeling better, but then this occurred. What made it even worse is...
...that it happened again. Elemir was there reassuring me. I blinked. I was alone in my room standing next to my bed. It was dark outside. Whatever had happened in the hours between the two moments had vanished. Though I was right next to my bed, I collapsed to the ground as I had not the strength to make it there. If the blackouts were going to continue, I was terrified I was going to break. It was awful enough I couldn't remember my past. Now I was losing massive chunks of the present as well. I sobbed without shame for several minutes there on the floor. Elemir, blessedly still being around, rushed over to me before too much longer. He suspected right when he asked if I had blacked-out again. All I could do was give a pitiful nod. He sighed heavily, having no words for me. It was enough that he was there to hold me though. I most likely never would have made it to the bed otherwise. He eventually assisted me in standing and getting me set for bed. Elemir suggested that perhaps I just needed some rest. I hadn't gotten any sleep since early afternoon, and before that when I had taken the other naps I had had no problem with blacking out. Again, all I could do was give a pitiful nod. However, I was more than ready to sleep anyway. Elemir placed a kiss on my forehead, and I was lost to the night.
As it was, Elemir had been exactly right. Sleep was what I needed to stop the blackouts from happening. Otherwise, if I didn't take naps throughout the day my brain, which had now acquired a limit for what I could take in, would toss out everything if I didn't give it a chance to sort through everything before I hit that point. My days became full of scheduled naps, testing, and check-ups sprinkled with frequent visits from my family. Either nana or Eloril was there at the hospital most of the time. They brought along Thoronton and Andethon every so often. Ranna, Aewen, Alcarien, Delerith, and Delindir made daily appearances as well. More of my adult children came to see me as well. Goddess help me, but it's so hard to recall any of their names. I slowly began to understand more as the days passed, but there was no improvement in me recalling what I had once known.
I woke up one day to find ada sitting next to me holding my hand. I practically leapt at him. He was thrilled to see me awake as I was to simply thrilled to see him. I felt so much more at ease having him there. I tried to ask about the elf who had found me, but ada refused to tell me anything other than what his punishment had been. As he was a citizen of the elven lands, this country's leaders had allowed ada to determine his punishment. Ada admitted that he didn't blame this other elf at all. He would have killed Silas himself simply for taking me. Still, a punishment had to be dealt. The elf had been sent back to our lands, and had to keep himself isolated for thirty years- thirty years being how old Silas had been. If he tried to have contact with anyone, his sentence would double. I was so curious as to why the elf was in the human lands at all, but like I said, ada kept his mouth shut.
Ada worried me a bit as well. He smiled at me when we were together. He treated me exactly like the tiny child I thought I was. I often fell asleep in his arms. However, when he thought I wasn't looking there would be a serious expression on his face. He appeared exhausted and older than I can ever recall seeing him, although I suppose that's not saying much. It concerned me that the joyful and lively spark that had always been in his eyes was hardly there anymore.
What was worse was how he and nana got along. I was horrified at ada's harsh treatment towards her. Nana had been nothing but wonderful to me since I had woken up, but when ada was around he refused to let her get near me. It was if he thought she would tear me to pieces. Besides him telling her to get away when she got too close, they otherwise never spoke. Of course like so many other things, everyone felt as if I needed to be kept in the dark about what was going on. I knew everyone was worried about what would happen if something too stressful was revealed to me, but it was heartbreaking seeing my parents' once loving relationship turn so cold and having no clue as to why.
After two more weeks of me being in the hospital, I was finally released. My brain had all but healed even though the blackouts kept happening when I wasn't careful. I was scheduled to go back to the hospital frequently so the doctors could monitor how things were going, but there was little left for them to do. Everyone was ready to get me home. We were all hoping that me starting to live a normal life in the house I had lived in for so long would help to bring my memories back. Ada and Eloril escorted me home on a Friday evening. I couldn't remember the house, but it was familiar. That was something.
I barely managed to get in the door before I was playfully attacked by something was that even more familiar than the house. It was my Ral. Like Andethon, I knew his name and it felt right to give him a good squeeze despite the fact that my mind could bring nothing else about him to my consciousness.
Ral bounded all around us as ada gave me a tour of the house while Eloril went to the nursery to help nana get Thoronton and Andethon down for the night. The children were more ecstatic than ever. They all showed off their rooms with pride. Then ada showed me my own room. I was pleased by how nice it was, and ada laughed loudly at me when I was drawn to the rainbow lights on my dresser. He found them peculiar, but I had always been fascinated with them. I collected an extra one whenever I could. I laughed too.
My attention was soon shifted to the pictures in my room. In the two pictures by the dresser and the two by the door there was the same man in each. I had to ask ada if he was the Wesley that Elemir had told me about. Ada told me he was. Was it also true I had let him live with me? Ada answered affirmatively again. I was worried if I would get in trouble, but I was reassured the matter had been dealt with long ago. The others back home had forgiven my actions. That was one burden off my chest. I stared at the pictures harder. I must have really cared for this Wesley then if I had all these pictures of him hanging on the walls, huh? Ada admitted he had hung up the two pictures by the mirror. Save for the other pictures by the door, I had given all other evidence of our relationship to Elemir for him to keep at his house.
Ada had gone through most of it when he had learned of its existence. He had paid special attention to the videos. When he had learned of Wesley living with me, he had been furious with the man and hated him even though I had praised him so highly in my letters. Ada did feel as if he had been leading me astray. Those videos had changed everything though for ada had seen how strong and true Wesley's love for me had been. He had protected me. He had made me happy. He had been a wonderful man ada would have loved to call his son-in-law. He regretted that he hadn't gotten the chance to meet him before he passed away. He regretted that he hadn't been able to stop me from being hurt and forgetting the beautiful love I had had.
I said it was alright, but ada still wasn't happy. There was too much he felt guilty about to forgive himself. I wasn't sure what to say, so I gave him a long hug instead. It seemed to cheer him up somewhat. Ada then showed me where all my things were, and left me so I could prepare for bed. I took out my nightgown, but was quickly standing in front of the pictures again. I stared at the one of just me and Wesley. There was that small pull of familiarity about him as there was with most of the other things in the house, yet try as I might nothing more would come to me. I made myself more upset the longer I stared at the two of us. It wasn't just me not being able to remember the man I supposedly loved though. It was me not being able to recall the person next to him that was driving me crazy. I hated having a big black nothing consuming what should have been centuries worth of memories.
The woman in that picture and me looked exactly alike.
However, I had no idea who she was......
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