Headache

I didn't wait too long after Aewen and Alcarien's birth before becoming pregnant yet again. Of course the reason for the big gap between Maldor and Naldir was because of Aneviel, Anemir, and Anadien, but obviously I'm the only one who knows that information. I instead had to lie and make up some excuse when my older children asked me why I had waited. The gap wasn't my fault, but now I was the one having to push myself to make up for it. I had no choice but to call over Mr. Chauncey Heath despite my own wish to give myself a bit more space between children. I just had a feeling I would somehow regret it later on. However, Mr. Heath was all too willing for me to turn back or hesitate. He came over right away when I called.

Warning

While it felt like the summer lasted forever, everything has been moving so quickly since then. I was astounded when it was time for Ris' birthday again. My adorable, cheerful little toddler changed into an adorable, cheerful little girl. The only time Ris isn't really cheerful is when I make her go outside. She has grown a dislike for the outdoors, which I naturally cannot understand. It boggles my mind how anyone cannot find the beautiful world of nature that gives birth to everything we use an amazing gift with which to be grateful for. Ris stubbornly stays inside though. I make sure then to keep her productive and active in order to make up for her lack of movement and exercise.

Starting Over

Time has passed by slowly as we've all adjusted to our new way of living, but then I look at the calendar and I see just how many months have actually gone by. Melui and Cethiel naturally can't tell the difference between this house and our old one, but Renia, Sind, and I can. It's very difficult getting used to the change. We're so very cramped in this place. We can't go anywhere without bumping into each other. There's absolutely no privacy at all. It's driving us crazy. There's also nothing for any of us to do. All we have for entertainment is a bookshelf with the books I've written, and an old clunky computer I bought so I could continue writing.

Even that thing was almost more than I could afford, but we need some sort of income if we ever want to get our house back. That has become my goal. I probably won't ever find out who stole all our money though someone is apparently looking into the crime. Whether or not a suspect is found, I refuse to let the scammer win. We'll win our house back through hard work. I refuse to let my children see me complain even though I feel pretty pathetic now that I can only provide them with so little. I can't even afford to make anything other than pb&js.

Out

I was surprised when I found myself dealing with some morning sickness this time around. The last time I experienced any was that awful pregnancy with Elrelas, Henduil, Silmalad, and Alyan. I pray that this nausea is not a sign of a large number of multiples, though I think I would have been able to tell if that was the case by now. Perhaps I'm carrying twins again. I will not know. I've decided to hold off again on finding out the gender of my child again. The excitement of being surprised at Raradia's birth has given me the patience to wait. Whether it's a boy or girl, whether it's one child or two- only at the birth will the truth be revealed.

Oddest Looking Dog

Naturally, I miss Elrelas, Henduil, Silmalad, and Alyan now that they've left the house, but since I have Cirabel I find it much harder to be sad. Her recent birthday was a very joyous affair, and she is turning out just as beautiful as I anticipated. Bradley was glad she takes after me. The only thing Cirabel is missing is my ears. Since she's my first daughter in so long, I haven't been able to resist dressing her up in all sorts of pretty shades of pink. Cirabel seems to love everything pink so it works out great.

Daughter

It was prom time for the teenagers. Elrelas, Henduil, Silmalad, and Alyan all pooled their spare money together in order to rent a limousine to pick up their dates and take them to the prom. What they got wasn't quite what the expected though. The limousine that picked them up had its heating brake earlier in the day. Since all the other limousines were booked for that day, the company only had the broken one left. The boys had to wear jackets and warmer clothes over their suits as they reluctantly got into the vehicle. The company refunded them a large percentage of their money, but naturally, they still weren't happy with the situation. Things eventually picked up for them at the dance though. Elrelas even won prom king.

Wishing

Some days it's very difficult dealing with all the noise that comes from Isilmar's room. His is on the second floor and on the other side of the house form where mine is, and yet I can hear almost every note that he plays on his guitar. I would get frustrated with him about it, but since he's becoming such a wonderful musician I don't mind listening most of the time. I asked him if making music is what he wants to do with his life, but Isilmar isn't sure. He's got the skill, but it's unfortunately clear he doesn't have the confidence in himself. I believe he can do it if he really wants to and is determined to work hard at it. The performances he puts on for the family are amazing. If he would just be a bit more proactive at getting other people to hear what he can do, I'm sure he'll see his gift properly then.

Tag

What is it like to have free time? I can't even remember what it feels like to have the smallest break. I suppose it's something similar to that one peaceful second where everything's quiet right before I slip into my nightly deep sleep brought about by exhaustion. Even with ada, Eloril, and Ortherion's help, I can barely keep up with Elrelas, Henduil, Silmalad, and Alyan. I'll be trying to teach one of them when another needs his diaper changed. I'll try to use the restroom, and all four boys will need to be fed at that exact moment. It's a constant cycle of changing jobs. Just when I begin to think everything is about to be taken care of, one more issue pops up.

I knew to expect some of this given my experience with Aravilui, Arluwen, and Amadrie, but I never realized how adding simply one more child would make the whole situation ten times harder. At least unlike the time with my triplets, I don't have worry about money or not having enough beds. The house will have just enough space to fit everyone comfortably.