Time has passed by slowly as we've all adjusted to our new way of living, but then I look at the calendar and I see just how many months have actually gone by. Melui and Cethiel naturally can't tell the difference between this house and our old one, but Renia, Sind, and I can. It's very difficult getting used to the change. We're so very cramped in this place. We can't go anywhere without bumping into each other. There's absolutely no privacy at all. It's driving us crazy. There's also nothing for any of us to do. All we have for entertainment is a bookshelf with the books I've written, and an old clunky computer I bought so I could continue writing.
Even that thing was almost more than I could afford, but we need some sort of income if we ever want to get our house back. That has become my goal. I probably won't ever find out who stole all our money though someone is apparently looking into the crime. Whether or not a suspect is found, I refuse to let the scammer win. We'll win our house back through hard work. I refuse to let my children see me complain even though I feel pretty pathetic now that I can only provide them with so little. I can't even afford to make anything other than pb&js.
Renia, being the amazing helpful hard-worker that she is, went out to the big business to get a job delivering newspapers early in the morning before school starts and even on weekends. I almost told her not to do it since it adds so much stress onto her shoulders, but then I saw the fire in her eyes. She wants our house back just as much as I do.
Then there is Sind. Oh, my dear little Sind. He remains horribly guilty despite my best efforts to console him. With Renia getting her job, he too decided he wanted to help. I set up that old easel I bought so long ago when I first moved to Appaloosa Plains up in his and Renia's room. Sind has taken to painting every spare second to bring in a few extra bits of money. I keep it a tight secret that so far only his older siblings have bought what he makes. In regards to them, each one of my older children send what money they can when they get their paychecks. I feel useless relying on them in such a manner, but none of them will let me refuse what they give.
Each day I wake up I have to repeat my mantra to just keep taking everything one day at a time. If I could get through those first couple years having no money while also having no idea what I was doing, then there's no excuse for me not being able to make it through this time. I'm finding this whole situation humbling, and I've decided to learn from it. Doing things again like having to constantly unclog our old toilet has shown me just how spoiled I let myself and my children get. I forgot just how truly blessed we had been, and how we took so much for granted.
My two youngest had their birthdays. Melui is and has always been beautiful in my eyes and I'm sure she's adorable by alien standards, but some of the children at school didn't see her as such. There was a couple incidents of them being mean to her. Sind always came to her defense, and I did what I can to make sure the school stopped such behavior. Melui told me the incidents have drastically decreased over the past couples weeks as the other children got used to her, which made me feel better.
Melui is incredibly helpful at home though she does tend to be a bit overemotional and neurotic about how the house is kept. I can't even leave my bed unmade for two minutes while I use the restroom after I first wake up. Melui will leap at the chance to make it for me, and she constantly goes around to check the plumbing since it breaks so constantly.
Cethiel ended up not inheriting Sonny's purple eyes, but that's fine. She's a natural cutie and very smart. In a way, she is turning out like Lothirien. It will be interesting to see what her differences from her sister turn out to be.
If there is one thing I really do like about this house it is that it has a very large yard. The actual amount of land we own is surprisingly a lot. This place does have a lot of potential- if one has the money. Renia, Sind, and Melui thoroughly enjoy having so many leaves to rake and play in. It is difficult though to get them all showers when we only have one shower though.
I didn't even consider the thought of having another child for a long time. There simply wasn't enough space, and even I, who barely needs sleep, couldn't get enough rest. The bed Melui and I have to share is awfully uncomfortable, and everything in this house requires so much attention to keep running I stay up late every night to keep everything working. The last time I felt so exhausted was when Elrelas, Henduil, Silmalad, and Alyan were young. Part of me wants to write to ada and Eloril begging them to come back, but I can't do that. I can't pull them back here each time things start to get rough. They have their own responsibilities and lives to worry about. They're naturally concerned enough about me as it is.
I made Renia, Sind, and Melui have a day off. They wanted to stay home to help me out more. Bless their hearts, but they're all still young and need to enjoy themselves more than they need to stress about assisting me. I finally got them to go to the fall festival without complaining. It wasn't as if what needed to be done were things they could do anyway. I'm the only one who knows how to fix the sink without electrocuting myself. I'm the only one who can nurse Cethiel. I'm the only one who can write a few more chapters in my novel. As long as I know my children are getting the chance to still be children, then the work doesn't bother me.
Having a taste of freedom, Sind and Melui decided to go trick-or-treating later that afternoon. Sind came back first saying he was cold, but Melui stayed out nearly to curfew in order to get as much candy as possible. She came back with her whole bucket full of sweets and little toys.
It's not as if I haven't been having any fun myself though. Though my intention wasn't pregnancy, I must admit I have not been abstinent during this whole time. I have a few male acquaintances whose numbers I have only kept because they really do just want that one thing from me. Thus, I did not feel guilty inviting one over every once in a while after the children leave for school. However, it scares me somewhat that it has now become very difficult to go extended periods of time without doing anything. A couple weeks will pass, and the desire becomes so bothersome its distracting. I will have to get over this or else returning home will pose a very large problem.
As those weeks have continued passing, the household has become more manageable. Sind has become very nurturing to his younger sisters ever since he had his birthday. Melui and Cethiel were always strictly my duty since Renia was so busy working to ever help out, but Sind absolutely loves spending time taking care and playing with them. It's clear Cethiel is his favorite of the two. She's learned to talk a bit, and so the two of them are constantly having little conversations.
What else is also relieving is that all the strange actions Sind used to do as a child have decreased dramatically in occurrence ever since his birthday. He is still a bit quirky, but that's just who he is.
The time came though. Renia and Cethiel's birthdays were coming soon. I could no longer delay what has always been required though I wanted to wait longer. I had to become pregnant. The task could not be put on hold because of what happened. I had plenty of children in that small house. I must have children in this small house.
It was strange who ended up being the next man to help me. If you remember, Mr. Garet Whatley was the policeman who nearly slept with me but abruptly left that one time after a robbery. I decided to give him a call after all this time, and he was more than willing to spend some quality time with me now......
I was laughing at her extra bedroom activities with pregnancy not the intention - lol
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