Departures

I tried not to be too surprised this time around. I knew it was going to happen the way it happened- for how it happened was how it had always happened. One minute, Elemir was an adorable little boy. The next, he had very much ceased to be a boy. In what felt like seconds he had transformed into a teenager ready to start high school and his next stage of life. And again, as always, his birthday was bittersweet. He had grown up so well, but I wished I could keep him younger for just a bit longer. I felt as if I had only had a brief moment to spend with him ever since he had been born.

Wesley, on the other hand, wanted him to grow up faster. We hadn't thought about it too much when I originally became pregnant with Elemir, but our youngest son had been born later in Wesley's life than he probably should have been. I could sense Wesley's constant anxiety. It was obvious to everyone that he would depart from this life before Elemir really got far in his. Wesley would see him graduate high school, but would he be there when he got married? When he had a child of his own? It was hard to determine just how much of Elemir's life he would be around to experience. It was no surprise then when Wesley began spending so much more time with him. The two were together doing whatever they could with every spare second they had.

I got a little jealous though. Wesley had begun to forget me. He was quick to recognize his error when he saw me pouting, and came up with the smart idea of going out on a date on Love Day. I was all too inclined to agree.

However, the date started off uncertainly. Or rather, it was me who was uncertain. Everyone else at the park were people in the town who we knew and who knew us. All of them knew Wesley and I had been dating for a long while. Still, they stared. I'm sure it was much more unusual for them to see Wesley, who looked so old, out with me, who looked so young, compared to us who had stopped thinking about it. I was thinking about it in that moment though. I just wanted to enjoy the date without having every single person constantly glancing our way or making comments that they forgot my sensitive hearing could catch. Wesley wasn't oblivious to what was going on and my feelings towards it all. I can only surmise that is why he quickly swept me off to the dancing area farther away from where the people were. No one else seemed interested in slow dancing, so we had the whole floor to ourselves. It was then when I forgot about everyone else save for Wesley.

We danced for so long and ignored everyone else so completely that they eventually stopped paying attention to us as well. Wesley and I really began to enjoy ourselves. After Wesley's legs became tried from standing and dancing, we sat down on a bench and talked and ate from a bag of candy hearts while we leaned against each other. That was my favorite moment out of the entire day, but what happened afterwards wasn't too bad either.

Once Wesley had gathered his energy again, he suggested that we go get a reading together from one of those love test machines. I had always done it by myself on the few rare occasions when no one would notice me. I had no idea it could read for couples. Wesley showed me all we had to do was press a button which read "Couple" that was next to the stick we held, and I felt silly for never noticing it. I don't know why I became so nervous when the lights started flashing. Such machines are only for fun, and have no real meaning to them after all. I suppose it is to be expected that I would naturally hope for a good reading though. Which was why when the light appeared to stop at the orange level just under the highest reading I felt rather pleased. The light suddenly jumped up to the red level a split second later, and Wesley and I let out childish cries of joy. The machine told us our love was the inspiration for every love song ever written. How could I complain about that?

The two of us were in high moods after that. We got some festival food to eat, took many pictures, did some more dancing, and played a few games. My energy and excitement continued to climb higher and higher. I wanted to keep going. However, poor Wesley could not keep up. The aches and pains of his body were really starting to get to him, and he felt worse when he had to stop my enjoyment. I comforted him by telling him everything was fine. We had been at the festival for hours. I had gotten plenty of fun in. Back at home, I silently cringed when Wesley struggled to walk up all the stairs to our room on the third floor. It looked like it really hurt him and I was afraid he would fall, but he refused to let me help. He insisted he wasn't that feeble yet. All he needed was to sit down for a while. The two of us ended up lying down. Tridia was out with her friends, Thralas was playing video games with Elemir, Maldor was outside with Lenn, Aneviel, Anemir, and Anadien were playing chess as usual, and Naldir was sleeping. We didn't have to worry about anyone else. I used to think before that I would've become unsatisfied when it would get to the point where Wesley and I could no longer sleep together, but as we laid there simply cuddling and doing more talking as he rested I realized I much preferred that calmer and more peaceful type of connection.

Unfortunately, calm and peaceful is not how my life would be again for quite some time. As I mentioned before, I had grown used to my strange dreams and the strange actions of my alien triplets. I had been grateful when the dreams stopped, and nothing seemed to be developing from whatever Aneviel, Anemir, and Anadien had been discussing. It wasn't more than a few weeks after my date with Wesley when things began picking up with them again though. The triplets pulled away from all of us, and especially me, more. I don't think they avoided me because they had stopped caring, but because I was able to see through them the easiest. I was so quick to catch on to what they were doing. I always caught them when they began to sneak around. For example, one night for no reason other than knowing I had to check on Anadien I woke up and found her outside in the pouring rain using the telescope. She, Aneviel, and Anemir used it often, but I could not for the life of me figure out why she thought using it then would be of any use. The thick storm clouds, the fog, and the rain completely blocked out the stars. She told me when I brought her inside that seeing the stars wasn't her purpose, but she refused to tell me what she was trying to do then.

It got to the point where I stopped being afraid and nervous about whatever was going to happen, and decided to at least try and do something about it even if I truly knew within my heart that my actions were going to make little difference. Having Aneviel, Anemir, and Anadien pull away from us had been breaking my heart. That's why I became determined to spend time with them whether they liked it or not, though I did hope they would like it. I gave them each the choice to decide what it was they and I would do. Aneviel's request came first, and it was simple. She wanted to go for a walk under the stars before the sun came up. I rapidly agreed. The two of us walked westward from the house. Honestly, I was hesitant about how the whole thing would go. Aneviel has been the one I've had the most trouble really connecting to. I wasn't sure what I was going to talk to her about. Thankfully, she was in a wonderful mood that morning. She had no desire to cause mischief. We didn't talk all that much as she was focused on staring at the stars, but our conversation was pleasant.

We were about a mile and a half away from the house when I swear I almost had a heart attack. I didn't even notice the alien vehicle at first. I believe I was so desperate to ignore it. However, it demanded it not be ignored. My heart began racing. This had to mean aliens were around. What if we bumped into them? I asked Aneviel if she knew anything about why the vehicle was there, and she surprised me by saying she couldn't see it. I motioned towards it and described it. Aneviel insisted she couldn't see it. All she could see was the normal car in the left parking space. Aneviel has always been a good liar though. I had no way to tell if she was actually being truthful for once or not. In the end, I had no option but to believe her.

We walked further into the parking lot. Movement had caught Aneviel's eye. She suddenly bolted forward towards it- leaving me to hastily follow. She had found a lizard, and a rather unique one at that. It was larger than normal and bright blue with green markings. The two of us steadily got closer to it and stared. It was fascinating to watch it move about. After a minute or so, Aneviel decided she wanted it to be hers. She lunged her hands towards it. The lizard, unfortunately, was much faster. It managed to move away, give her a small bite on her finger, and dashed into some hole before either of us realized what happened. Aneviel pouted about it getting away and the light pain of her finger, but when she turned around her face lit up like I had never seen it do so before. I followed her gaze to see a space rock we hadn't notice lying on the other side of the lot. This time I fully anticipated her rushing over to it. Aneviel picked it up, and hugged it as if it was her most precious doll. She asked if we could go home to see if we could find out what kind of rock it might be. So we went home. I had hoped the walk would last longer, but when Aneviel cuddled up to me for the first time as I got my laptop out to see if we could research what the rock was made out of I realized I couldn't complain.

Breakfast came and went. I lent Aneviel my computer so she could continued searching out information about her prize. After I rested a bit, I told Anemir it was his turn to go out with me. Always the planner, he had already come up with a solid schedule of what he wanted to do. Most of our time was to be spent at the science center, which didn't surprise me in the slightest. Anemir had a list of what he wanted to see and in what order he wanted to see them. We stuck to it as best he could. The workers there were overjoyed by his enthusiasm, and so they gave us a few quiet peeks at what was normally kept off-limits. Anemir was thrilled. After that came the unplanned part of our time together. As soon as we excited the center, Anemir spotted what he hadn't known was in town- the junkyard. I didn't even have the chance to say anything before he suddenly dashed off. With him and Aneviel taking apparent delight in rushing away from me, I hoped Anadien would be calmer. I'm sure it won't be any surprise, but I got little enjoyment out of entering that junkyard. There was an awful smell hanging about it, and it was absolutely filthy. Anemir was too excited over what he was finding though. We returned home with him carrying all sorts of scraps that he could tinker with.

I honestly didn't expect it, but I did get my wish that Anadien wouldn't run around too crazily during our time together. I really shouldn't have been surprised though. Out of the three of them, Anadien has actually been the one who acts the most like my other children despite the fact that her appearance is considerably more alien than Aneviel's and Anemir's. She is also the one who has hesitated in pulling away from the rest of us. That was why I had another hope when we began our outing that perhaps I might be able to get her really talk to me about what was going on.

At first, she just wanted to go to the park. The two of us enjoyed the various activities there, but it didn't take long for Anadien to spot the chess tables. I'll leave it up to you to figure out what we did for the next hour. Anadien beat me every single time. I suppose that would be a more impressive feat if I was good at the game in even the slightest. As it is, I am a horrible player. Anadien was just so happy to be playing, and to be playing with me, that she didn't mind if each match only lasted a minute or two. She finally sensed my boredom with the game, and said she wanted to do something else. I assumed that the "something else"  would be there at the park. However, Anadien suddenly requested to see someplace in Twinbrook that she had never seen before. That one was a hard one to figure out. I didn't know what she had seen and not seen, and it wasn't possible for her to list every place she could remember going. The result? Another walk.

That walk with Anadien lasted so much longer than my walk with Aneviel. The conversation flowed easily, and I didn't notice just how long we went on for. It took quite a while to find a place that Anadien hadn't seen, but we did find one. I had suggested we follow this one particular road, and it led us to an abandoned road that ended in a roundabout at one of the more elevated areas in Twinbrook. It was spacious, calm, quiet, and gave the two of us a wonderful view of the ocean. It wasn't hard to tell that Anadien had been satisfied. She squealed so loudly when she realized we had reached our destination, and became entirely enraptured in that beautiful view. I did as well. I had assumed before I had seen all that Twinbrook had to offer, but obviously I hadn't been to that place either. It reminded me that I needed to keep my eyes open else I miss the many wonderful things around me.

"I'm going to miss this place."

Those are the words I heard Anadien whisper after we had been standing there admiring the view for several minutes. She had said those words so quietly I knew she hadn't meant for me to hear them. However, I believe she forgot just how accurate my hearing was. Such a nervous look came over her face when I asked her what she meant. There was no answer she could give, but in those short few seconds I had already figured out the answer. Anadien was relieved when I let the matter drop, yet my mind and heart were spinning as they finally rationalized and understood everything. The strange dreams, the peculiar actions of the triplets, the sense of foreboding- I knew then what was going to happen.

Aneviel, Anemir, and Anadien. They were leaving...

I couldn't say anything. I knew the triplets wouldn't answer. I knew no one would believe me. I didn't believe myself.

I didn't want to believe myself.

Though the truth had come to me and I knew without a doubt that truth could not be denied, I denied it still. It seemed easier to continue to ignore the future rather than face it head on. I should have learned from my experience denying Elrunamir's impending death that such a mentality is a horrible one to have, but there was no escaping it for me. I instead focused on the other happier events that occurred in the household. The two main events were birthdays. Tridia's came first. It was no shock to anyone that the company she had been working for all throughout high school was eager to hire her right off the bat. Tridia was just as eager to agree. We had a big dinner celebration for her birthday, and the next day everyone helped her move out to her small place near her work.

The next birthday was Naldir's. After having the triplets grow so fast, his growing seemed very slow. Not that I minded. It was actually comforting that the pace of his development felt like it dragged on. It gave me more time to focus on him, and not miss a single one of his firsts. Like the triplets, he did show the signs that he would be a fast learner. Even with Wesley and I, and Conrad on his frequent visits, had a bit of trouble keeping up with him.

I would soon have to rely on Conrad and my older children to keep the household together, for the day of the departures had come.

I didn't know it would be that day when I woke up. I suppose that is how the aliens wanted it though. I'm stunned they left me what they did. None of the others were left anything at all. What do I mean by that? Well, I woke up that morning with it truly feeling as if everything was normal. The house was in its usual state of controlled chaos as Wesley and I did what we could to get Thralas, Elemir, and Maldor awake, fed, and ready for school while trying to handle a fussy Naldir and attempting as always not to step on Lenn who really did love to get in the way. We were running on schedule for once. Wesley got Naldir playing in the living room, Lenn finally became interested in his own breakfast, and the boys rushed out the door to catch the bus. I began cleaning up the dishes, and I realized when Wesley came over to help me that I hadn't seen the triplets head out the door yet. I asked Wesley if he would tell Aneviel, Anemir, and Anadien to hurry up so they wouldn't be late.

Assuming he would do it, I continued picking up the dirty plates. It took the several long, silent seconds that passed to make me notice that Wesley hadn't moved. I looked over at him to find him staring at me in absolute confusion. Wesley asked me who I was talking about. I repeated the names, but he still looked horribly perplexed. I worried for a moment that his confusion was a sign that his mind was beginning to slip. I had feared that happening more than I feared Wesley actually dying. His death I was prepared for. If he forgot about me, our children, and all the years we've spent together though- I don't think I would be able to handle it. And yet, I quickly realized Wesley was as lucid as he had always been. It had been what had happened during the night that had taken away what I was expecting him to remember.

It was then that I was swept away by why I had been allowed to remember.

I thought it was just another dream. That alien vehicle was in the same spot it had always been in. Aneviel, Anemir, and Anadien rushed out the door like they always did. But that's where the similarities to my dreams stopped. The children didn't get into the ship. Someone else got out. Nothing of him could be seen for his suit and helmet covered all there was to see, but I knew instantly that he was the one who would take my children away. I anticipated that, like in my dreams, I would not be able to move or make I sound. I thought I would be stuck- frozen and helpless to stop from being taken away from me what I wanted so desperately to keep.

Not knowing there was nothing holding me back, my shout was so loud it made even me jump. The alien, Aneviel, Anemir, and Anadien all turned my way. Aneviel scowled as she so often did. Anemir wouldn't, or couldn't, look directly at me. Anadien, however, ran right up to me. I gathered her in my arms as quickly as I could, and held her tight. I glared back at the alien man. He seemed to be studying me with curiosity, but obviously I couldn't be sure with that helmet of his. He could have been sticking his tongue out at me for all I knew. No one moved and no one spoke for what felt like an eternity. For a brief moment I pondered who the alien was. Was he just a random alien assigned to pick the children up? Was he actually their father? Was he one of the leaders of the aliens? The answer could have been one of those three things. It could have been something different. I was never given the truth.

Or, at least, I don't remember if I was given the answer. What the aliens left me of that event was so little. I couldn't even recall exactly what Anadien said to reassure me before she slipped out of my arms. I think she told me that she would watch over me. That they were going someplace safe. That she loved me. The words are so jumbled, the voice so quiet. After that, it gets even worse. There's not much to recall but feelings of what happened. I tried to pull Anadien back towards me, but that alien got in the way. He held me back as I fought against what felt like his superhuman strength while Aneviel, Anemir, and Anadien got into the vehicle. They vanished from sight just like in my dreams. I didn't get a proper goodbye.

I might have realized then that there was no reason for me to fight. I truly had no power. I feel like I still argued a lot with that alien though. Curse words so vulgar that I've never dared to entertain in my mind before suddenly felt so appropriate to say when I recalled him. I can only reason I used them. And then...I demanded an explanation. If my children were being taken, I had a right to know why. What had possessed the aliens to think forcing three children on me only to force them away was a good idea? I can recall being surprised when the alien honestly answered that. Of course, he took most of the answer away when he erased the rest of my memories. The vague words of his that do come to my mind don't make sense. Aneviel, Anemir, and Anadien aren't actually children? Their bodies are new, but they were adults before? The memories were suppressed until they grew old enough? To be able to transfer bodies at will?

That's ridiculous! Whatever that plan is, it can't honestly be achieved!

Can it?

I jumped a mile high when Wesley touched my shoulder, which startled him as well. I had gotten lost in my recollection, and now he was worried for me. Not only was I talking about people who didn't exist, but I had become completely unresponsive. I comforted him. I was merely tired, I said. I had watched a movie on television the previous day, and it had given my a strange dream. My exhaustion had momentarily made me confuse the dream with reality. Wesley looked less concerned, but only just. He told me I should go back to bed. If I was so tried that I could be so confused then that wasn't a good thing. Wesley also asked if I might be pregnant again, and I said I definitely wasn't. He repeated that I should get some more sleep. All I could do was nod.

I went upstairs and tried to lay down, but it was useless. I wasn't on the bed for more than half a minute before I stood up to begin pacing furiously. I was still working everything out. I replayed what I could remember from last night over and over again. The more I tried to remember, the more I forgot. Eventually, I had to stop before I lost it all. Fury entered my chest. I very nearly went on a rampage. Shoving the bookcase to the floor, throwing what I could out the window, smashing the lights against the wall, and breaking whatever else I could simply felt like the best solution for my rage. I settled with throwing my pillow onto the floor.

Then the tears welled up. My frustration made my heartbreak worse. It was terrible enough the aliens had given me children I had grown to love so deeply and then snatched them away, but it was worse that they wouldn't even leave me the reason as to why. It was worse still that I hadn't gotten a proper goodbye. Aneviel, Anemir, and Anadien were alive, but I might as well consider them dead to me now that I know I will never be able to see them again. I wished the aliens had completely erased my memories of them as they had done with everyone else. I can't miss what I don't remember exists, right? Though I'm sure I would still realize something was missing, and then be frustrated by not knowing what I was missing. Each way I was at a loss.

And my day was still going to get worse. I almost missed the sound I was so wrapped up in my mess of emotions. It took me longer than it should have to realize there had been some sort of disturbance. It slowly dawned on me there had been some sort of "thud" noise that had come from downstairs. I could hear Lenn barking. I figured the goofball dog had knocked over something again as he had a habit of doing whenever he ran around like crazy. I had no intention of going downstairs. I only wanted to stay where I was and wallow. But Lenn's barking didn't stop. Naldir began to cry. Something was clearly going on. I cleaned off my face as best I could, and made my way downstairs. 

It was when I reached the second landing when I wondered if I had gone ahead and died myself, for my heart stopped when I glanced down to see what the source of the noise had been......