Decision

As I sat watching Elioviel swim, I kept waiting. Waiting to feel terrified, waiting to see my daughter be pulled under the water by some invisible force, waiting to see her gasp for air, and waiting for me to not be able to do anything to stop it. None of that happened. Elioviel swam peacefully without incident while Zuri and I watched over her.  No matter how much I anticipated the worst, the waiting for something bad to happen was the only bad thing that was happening.

Something similar can be said for Meldiron's death. Of course I'm terribly upset and saddened by his passing, but the horrible depression I was so sure I would fall into never hit. I'm still finding ways to enjoy life. Ada theorized that my resistance to the deep sadness can be likened to a callous. Now that I've experienced such a low, Meldiron's death, which was not as tragic or unnecessary as Cirabel's, won't cause that depression again because I've toughened like new skin over a wound. His words made sense, but I decided to keep waiting in case the feelings merely needed more time to sink in.

Sunset Valley

It was a relatively long trip to arrive at our new house. I knew Eloril was getting a bit frustrated with me since I would not stop glancing back towards the direction of Aurora Skies, but I simply couldn't help myself. My head shifted of my own accord before I recognized what I was doing. I knew it was time to leave there, the certainty of that almost overwhelmed me, and yet it was still very hard to leave. Much like my children back in Appaloosa Plains, my children who remain in Aurora Skies told me to go wherever I could be happy again. However, the feeling that I've somehow betrayed them lingers in my heart. I think my regret is a large part of why the chill of my grief will not depart from my skin.

Thus, it was relieving to be distracted when ada, Eloril, Elioviel, Zuri, and I all finally arrived in Sunset Valley and pulled up in front of our new house. We eagerly got out. The car we were in was spacious, but after five days of almost non-stop driving even that extra room wasn't enough. Elioviel and Zuri were the happiest amongst us to be freed. The relief grew into excitement stepping through our new front door. I had been very much in love with the open design plan since the first moment I saw the pictures. The design is mostly why I chose it.

The house somehow reminds me a lot of home, and I need to be as comfortable as possible right now into order to have a clear mind when I make a final decision as to whether I will stay or go.

Gone

I wonder if there's something wrong with Zuri. Not that she's been sick or upset lately or anything like that, but she has recently been coming into my room every night to sleep next to me on the bed even though all I ever do is ignore her. I don't understand why she has seemingly become so attached to me. I suppose it's a good thing though that Eloril adopted a dog who is so accepting and full of love instead of a completely anti-social one. Zuri has also stopped chewing away at my furniture, so that's good too.

Axel

Ever since Lomaraniel had her birthday, she's gained the same affinity for sculpting that Fiendir has. I'm certainly glad to see that the shed is getting some use again. I was considering either having it taken down or remodeled into something more useful. The timing of Mara's birthday was perfect. I'll have to invite Fiendir over soon to give his sister some tips and instruction to help her improve even more.

Burnt Letters

The calm pace the house had before Serith and Tirith's birth is pretty much gone. I'm running all over the place trying to keep things in order. A bit unfortunately, now a lot of the quality time I spend with Elwen, Meldiron, and Lomaraniel happens mostly at meal times. The only thing that stops me from feeling too horrible about it is that they're also very busy with their own school activities. It's not entirely my fault that we can't all be in the same place at the same time.

Meldiron and Mara love to tell me what they learn and do in school. Mara is already at the top of her class though she's just started school. She's definitely going to be a force to reckon with. Her teachers, and even the principal, have suggested to me that I spend her to a specialized, higher-style school. While they tell me this with Mara's best interest in heart, I know the best thing is for her to stay at home with the rest of us. Mara hates the idea of going to some place like a boarding school anyway.

Snowflake Day

We finally have a bit of variation in this household now that my new daughter, Lomaraniel, has been born. I feel as if I can safely say that we won't be having another fair-haired, green-eyed child to add to the count. When I told him that, Derrek actually bet me that the universe would give Lomaraniel fair hair and green eyes just to mess with me. I took the bet, but now I'm secretly worried that what Derrek said will come true and the universe will mess with me.

Forever Separated

It really is interesting how things work out sometimes- like how a person you meet for the first time whom you think you want to avoid at all costs becomes a dear friend. Naturally, I am referring to Lar. I gave him a chance to impress me after his not so wonderful first impression, and now I can't believe that I ever wanted him to go away.

Unfortunately, he is only in Aurora Skies for a few more weeks. He is a photographer who is always on the move. While he does have an apartment back in his hometown, it's only a couple days out of the year that he is actually there. The rest of the time Lar is off seeing the world taking pictures for some big magazine the children have heard of but that I knew nothing of. Lar gave me a couple copies to look at, and I was amazed to find out that almost a third of all the pictures in each were taken by him. He explained that he usually is in one place for only a couple days in order to be able to take so many pictures of so many places, but that he requested more time here since he felt he hadn't captured the perfect photograph of this place yet.

Lar Smith

There are so many things to love about this town- the peaceful atmosphere, the beautiful landscape, the gorgeous night sky, and so many that I can't mention them all. However, one of my most absolute favorite features has to be the community garden. I'm able to get all the fresh fruits and vegetables that I love to cook with, and it's not quite as much work as having a garden in our own yard. Right now almost everything is in full bloom, and with the end of summer approaching there's only more goodies to anticipate.

Speaking of the end of summer approaching, I thought it would be a good idea to do something special.