Axel

Ever since Lomaraniel had her birthday, she's gained the same affinity for sculpting that Fiendir has. I'm certainly glad to see that the shed is getting some use again. I was considering either having it taken down or remodeled into something more useful. The timing of Mara's birthday was perfect. I'll have to invite Fiendir over soon to give his sister some tips and instruction to help her improve even more.

Mara's not the only one who has taken after someone though. Like she shares Fiendir's talent, Serith has inherited my own talent for writing. She begged me to take her to a writing class the local big business was offering to the public. Since she needed an adult with her, I thought it would be a good idea to accompany her myself. The two of us learned quite a lot- almost enough to cover the expensive tickets it cost to attend the class.

What made the rest of the lost money worth it is Serith's now very strong desire to work hard at her writing. She spends most of the day on our spare computer in our library typing away at her first novel. I help her when I can to guide her where her inexperience halts her. The story she is creating is incredibly amazing for one so young. I'm very proud of her dedication. Perhaps one day we'll be able to write a book together.

When the time came for Renduil and Rion's birthday, I didn't get quite what I was expecting with them in terms of their looks. Again, I know I said before that appearance doesn't really matter in the long run, but I still think it doesn't hurt to have some variety in the house. It was my assumption that having children with Norris would add some of that variety. Instead, my genetics seem to have a different idea. Renduil has my blonde hair and elf ears just like Tirith does, but he inherited Norris' brown eyes. Rion, on the other hand, has ash blonde hair like Serith and blue eyes from somewhere.

Derrek and Norris were both a bit disappointed as well. It really is such a shock that neither twin ended up with Norris' unique coloring. Derrek told me this just confirms the idea that my traits really are dominating. I responded that I had stopped doubting it. Despite that small disappointment of ours, Norris and I naturally still love Renduil and Rion unconditionally regardless of anything else.

I was in heaven one day when a letter from Eloril finally arrived. I nearly wept simply from the sight of it. It was only when I went inside and read his words that the tears did flow.

Eloril, of course, was furiously angry at the man and the lost letters. He had written many important things to me, and he, ada, and naneth had been devastatingly worried when no reply came. However, something positive was going to come from the whole situation. Because of the destroyed letters and lack of communication, Eloril now had solid reasoning to come and see how I was doing personally. Ada and naneth had granted him permission to visit again. Eloril said he was even bringing a big surprise with him for me. It will take him just a little while longer before he can leave though. There are a couple other things he needs to get in order first.

When I finally stopped crying, I began to wonder what the surprise could be. I was convinced, only for a brief moment, that Eloril would be bringing Talron along with him. Then I forced myself to remember that Talron is long dead. I'm sure he had children of his own though. Eloril might be bringing one of his descendents. 

I wanted to let Lar know my brother was coming. Surely, he would love the chance to meet another elf. I tried once again, and failed, to reach Lar when I called him. Worse, I discovered that his line has been disconnected. The number I have for his cell phone is now useless. I've bought every new magazine of his that has come out. There's still lots of his pictures in them. If he's able to move about the world and take pictures, then nothing serious could have happened to him. He really is simply avoiding me.

It was on her very first day of public high school that Lomaraniel came to me afterwards to tell me how much she hated it. She's already too far ahead of everyone else. The school can't challenge her like she wants to be challenged. What Mara hates the most though is the atmosphere. Too few of the other students take their education seriously. The way she was talking made me feel that she was going to admit that she was finally ready to attend a place like boarding school.

Before she could ever suggest the idea, I gave her my own suggestion of online home schooling. It worked well for Elaril. Perhaps it would be a good fit for her. Mara was intrigued, and so the two of us looked at it together. She soon fell in love with the idea. Mara can take the appropriate classes for her intellect without having to deal with being distracted by immature peers. I signed her up immediately. The fact that she would have more time to help with Renduil and Rion was just an added bonus for me.

Though her schooling problem was solved, not all was right with Mara. Meldiron found a quiet moment when I was alone with Renduil and Rion to tell me how he kept accidentally spotting Mara talking to "Axel". He said it wasn't just that she was saying her thoughts aloud or anything like that. Mara was really having a conversation with someone who isn't even there. Obviously she's been so secretive about it because she knows it's something that she isn't supposed to be doing. What normal teenager still talks to their imaginary friends? Meldiron's words were slightly troubling news. Mara might be having real issues and not asking for the help she needs if this kind of behavior is still continuing.

I asked her about it at the soonest opportune moment. To my surprise, Lomaraniel came out and admitted what she wanted to say all along. She fully believes that Axel is real. I told her he can't be, that he's just a part of her imagination. Mara asked me why couldn't he be real? No one else can see him, was the first reason I gave. Mara countered by saying that I had believed Celadra when she had talked about the unicorn. No one else had seen it. There was no way to prove Celadra had been telling the truth. What was the difference between the situations?

A big difference, I told her. Yes, I hadn't seen the unicorn myself, but others have in the past. There is undeniable, physical proof that they exist. The same cannot be said for her "Axel". Mara said that she could see the proof. Exactly, I said. She could see the proof because this friend was a part of her imagination, and her imagination only. Mara simply sighed. I was a bit frustrated with her, but she wasn't frustrated with me. She told me that she wasn't going to try and convince me, because she knew it wasn't going to happen. 

Despite what it looks like, she's not crazy. She knows very well that what she believes is not something other people can accept on faith alone. Mara just asked that she be let to go about her way. She was doing her best to keep the whole thing quiet, and she wasn't hurting anyone else with her behavior. I very, very reluctantly agreed. I don't think Mara is crazy either. I only hope she can come to senses on her own one day.

With everything going on with Lomaraniel, and with Renduil and Rion being the handful, I became so horribly stressed and stir-crazy. I had to get out of the house even though it was storming something awful. I decided to go to the beach. It's funny, but being there even in that storm calmed me down immensely. I was able to think out my plan.

Renduil and Rion had been taught all they needed after much hard work. Eloril will be coming here in the not too distant future. It makes the most sense to become pregnant again before he arrives just as a safety measure to avoid any unpleasant instances like what happened last time. I know he accepted my reality before, but since it's been so long since he left, he might have trouble readjusting back. The house is so full though. I need some breathing room, or I'm sure to go crazy before too long. I eventually came to the conclusion that it would be best to become pregnant right after Renduil and Rion's next birthday. It will give me that space, and Eloril shouldn't be here by then.

There was another birthday that was to come before the twins' though. It was Meldiron's most important birthday- his birthday where he officially enters into adulthood. His enthusiasm about politics became even more distinct now. His goal is to work his way into the political system here, and then branch outward. Meldiron has some slightly radical ideas of what he wants to accomplish, but overall I can see that he's going to be a marvelous force for good. All of his little sisters were sad to see him go. Of course, I was as well. It was bittersweet to wish him the best of luck as he left.

We had a bit of a shock one afternoon. Everything appeared normal, but then out of nowhere a stray cat came dashing down the stairs. Tirith was excited and wanted to keep it, but it scared Renduil. I never even saw it. The cat ran out through the cracked open front door. It must have been how it got in. My children naturally all denied leaving the door open.

Though it's been incredibly hard having two sets of twins right after the other, when I see Serith and Tirith play with Renduil and Rion, it all becomes all the reward I need. I can tell that the four of them are going to be best of friends as they grow up. I wondered briefly if Lomaraniel felt a bit lonely now that she was the only non-twin in the house. Then I remembered that she has her "Axel", and seems to be perfectly content having him.

Another letter came from Eloril. This time it said that he was going to be arriving earlier than expected. Leave it to my brother to completely ruin the nice plan I made. Renduil and Rion hadn't had their birthday yet, but I would still rather already be with child before Eloril comes. I suppose it's not too much trouble since my boys' birthday isn't too far off anyway. The only thing that was a bit of an issue was finding another man on such short notice. When my searching was turning up nothing, I almost decided to use artificial insemination just one more time.

Then I ran into Mr. Flynn Bedi. He wasn't a man of the greatest quality. He had a tendency to be crass, immature, and pushy. Still, one thing led to another and we both got what he wanted in the end.

I began to feel the stirrings of this new pregnancy when Renduil and Rion's birthday finally did come. It's hard for me to wrap my head around the truth that they're already so big and grown. My two sets of twins will be out of the house before I know it. They'll get the chance to meet their uncle first though. I'm sure Eloril will be quite happy indeed having boys around.

Now I just wait impatiently each day, wondering just when his arrival will be......