Strange Dreams

I knew it would happen one day, but even still...

I was not prepared for that moment when I finally realized Wesley was old. His aging had seemed to be happening so slowly. He had steadily been acquiring more wrinkles and had been complaining about his body hurting in greater quantities, but he simply had that kind of face that stayed youthful far past the youth it showed. I took it for granted that he would always stay that way. I really was in for a rude awakening. It should have been a more subtle transition as subtle is how it happened. I just hadn't been paying attention. When I looked at Wesley before, I saw him instead of his age. What should have been obvious escaped my notice. Then the obvious became clear all at once, and I was left sad and afraid. Wesley's years on this earth and with me were coming to an end. The vast amount of time it felt we had together was now steadily slipping away from us.

Try as I might, I could not speak of my realization to Wesley. It was too hard to get the words out of my mouth. He was well aware of what I was feeling though. He was dealing with the same emotions as I was. I started noticing small changes in his behavior. He was obsessed with dying his hair so that no gray could be seen, and he would sneak pain killers when he thought I couldn't see so he could complain less about how it was getting harder to move. Longer clothing that covered his arms and legs became his preference as he wanted to hide how thin and fragile his limbs had become. The only time he wore something sleeveless was at night when we went to bed. He liked when I would run my finger along his tattoo. It became amusing to me how I had worried he would regret getting it. Now it was a calming reminder of how all this had started, how much time we had had together, and that some small piece of me would forever remain with him when his time came.

Hidden

I got a bit worried as to where Amonost and Adonnen had gotten one afternoon after the high school students had gotten out for the day. Normally, the twins come home right away. However, Cadrier returned home alone having no idea where his brothers had gone. I tried not to panic too much. It was very unlikely something had happened, and more probably they had just wandered around for a bit. That pretty much turned out to be the case. It was such a nice day they had decided to walk home instead of taking the bus. On the way, they came across the ice cream truck. They proceeded to buy an icicle for all of us, and came home carrying them all. I would have said something about them at least giving me a short text letting me know about the delay, but the ice cream cooled my slight annoyance.

Changes

It certainly was a very strange several weeks that passed after that afternoon. Wesley, of course, was going to move in. It took a little time for that to happen though. He first had to sell the place he was currently at, as well as packing all his things up and dealing with other technicalities like having his address updated. I was somewhat disappointed that things didn't really change right away due to Wesley being busy. With me so nervous about the whole thing in general, delaying the plan gave me too much time to hesitate and ponder if I should back out.

Then Wesley had some spare time, and the whole family went to the summer festival. Tridia was switched between Wesley, Ris, Amonost, Adonnen, and I so we could all participate in the fun, but that day I didn't mind holding her most of the time. In fact, I preferred it. It gave me the opportunity to study that family of mine which was steadily growing closer thanks to the prospect of Wesley and I finally being together. Ris and Cadrier have always gotten along fine with Ray and Henry, but there was something about Wesley growing into a true constant presence, especially a father-like presence, that made them more energetic than usual. It was their excitement that strengthened my resolve. Amonost and Adonnen's cheerfulness at having their father move in helped as well, although not as much. "It's about time." had been their lazy blunt reaction.

Giving In

I really didn't mean to, but I almost forgot. Again. I thought I needed to start marking the calendar so I wouldn't have this issue anymore, and I was close to doing just that. It was simply that the household had been so calm after that crazy storm of birthday after birthday. I was enjoying the new schedule we had all fallen into, and I was looking forward to the days ahead. Then I remembered the days ahead included me having another child. By the time the realization came, my normal deadline for conception had long passed. With few options available to me, I went back to the house where Henry lived. I hoped this one particular man I had met on my previous trip there, Mr. Clifton Langston, would be willing to do a little something with me. He welcomed my advances warmly, although I did hesitate for a moment. I hadn't noticed before that he was decently older than the men I usually sleep with. I really didn't have much of a choice though.