New Series on Tapas!

 Hello, everyone!

It's been quiet for a while, but I've been hard at work these past few months. That's due to my work on the new story I've prepared to host on Tapas, Kingdom of Sun. I've been writing it for over a year and a half now, and it's finally ready to go live. If you enjoy fantasy or reincarnation stories, please give it a go. It would mean the world to have you give it a look over and possibly a subscription. My hope is to one day have it be chosen for a premium story on Tapas. That would allow me to get paid for it and even more hopefully switch to writing as my full-time career. Such would likely lead to me having more time to work on CMW! Now that Kingdom of Sun is being released, it is my goal to shift more of my attention back this way and resume updates here as soon as possible. Thank you as always for your support.

Check out the story here!

Cover art by Line

Apologies - Update

Hey all! Sorry for the sudden absence and quiet. Everything has been fine with me and nothing is wrong. A big cause of the silence was my work reopening, which brought on a schedule change and adjustment period. I hope I didn't cause too much worry. A quick update about that wouldn't have been difficult to write, but I took some extra time to let myself step back and just prompt out the reality that I've been working against for most of the generation. I'm really starting to hit a motivation shortage after so many years of this project now. Have no fear that I'm canceling it. Generation Four will be completed, and I'm planning on doing Generation Five. I love and am excited for those two stories and everything beyond. The problem lies with the process getting the story from my head. The Sims 3 will always hold a special place in my heart, yet using it as a backdrop for my creation process now tires me. I'm tired of the same animations, the same poses, the slowness, the glitches, the problems like this I encountered taking pictures for the last chapter:

I consider The Sims 4 an okay game. I open it to play it for general fun far more than I've opened TS3 for actual game play in years. I wish I could say switching over would give me the needed refresh, that solution takes away many of the necessary mechanics needed for the planned plots of numerous generations. There's no real solution I can think of, which has me at an impasse that leaves me just not wanting to do anything.

So that's where I am at the moment. I am a little done, but at the same time I'm not done enough to get close to calling this project to a premature end. What I do think will help is pulling back some of the pressure of responsibility. You've all been wonderful whenever there's a delayed or missed chapter, and I don't want to do you a disservice by not being upfront about the thoughts in my head. For now, I'm going to release the story from a schedule. I won't promise a certain number of chapters or having a post on a certain day. However, I feel that allowing myself to work more at leisure should lessen the reluctance I feel towards even opening TS3.

Thank you as always for your understanding, and I hope to see you with something new soon!

~Kelsey

Gen Four- Chapter Twenty Five

NSFW Material

I almost forgot why I had come after a time. Pieter and I rested until our beating hearts calmed and the worry of discovery temporarily slipped behind the peace of nature. The sun glittered warm, yet the wind danced cool. Pieter provided an excellent cushion while the birds called for one another in a lullaby for me. This was the scenery of my youth. How I'd missed it, and how oppressive the harshness of the city now felt. The cringe in my body at returning was why I didn't protest when Pieter eventually guided us up.

     "Feel any more strongly about a decision?" he wondered.

     "I'm pretty split both ways..."

     "Well, if we're almost an hour out, why don't we get a little closer? That should help with your decision."

     "Sounds good," I agreed.

Pieter dusted himself off, I picked grass from off his back, and he turned to where our path continued.

     "A lazy hotdog, huh?" he laughed.

     "Yeah," I grinned. "The sides dip like they're trying to hold something in, but they flatten halfway giving up."

     "I see it."

Gen Four- Chapter Twenty Four

The worry and regret seeped in after, for the first time since I arrived years ago, I left Aspen Harbor's limits. I went past the bridge, followed the sidewalk as far as it would go, waited until no cars were around to dodge behind trees, and eventually found myself walking in the wooded hills lining the highway. The worry mostly came from being caught though. I didn't see any property signs banning people, but I'm sure at some point I stepped onto land not meant for travel like I was doing. Away the cars zoomed in the distance. While naturally wanting to remain unseen, I'd need the guide of civilization for a bit. The highway did stretch the majority of the way to my destination. Why make the journey harder than it needed to be? Well, I probably could have taken a taxi partway, which meant me walking was making it harder, but I'd rather not leave any sort of trail. Besides, some taxi drivers were wary enough of driving a lone teenager around in the city. I'd stick out like a sore thumb asking to be driven to any drop-off point I could imagine.

In the end, there was no need for one. I finally split off on my own path towards my destination.

Gen Four- Chapter Twenty Three

I left the Blueberry residence with a relieved sigh in my heart. There were few kids I babysat who tipped towards that end of the scale of being temper-prone brats. Mostly I didn't go back to houses with children raised like that, but Aspen Harbor's parents, at least the ones on the website I used, knew how to teach their offspring manners. However, the six-year-old and four-year-old who lived here were in moods today. They weren't interested in anything I suggested and weren't even happy getting the choice to do what they wanted. I'd rarely been so glad to have the parents walk through the front door.

And I should have expected what I saw when I walked out the front door myself.

     "Cinny," I noted upon seeing her stand there with a big grin. "Here to walk me home?"
     "Uh-huh! It's such a beautiful day that I thought you and I should enjoy some sights as we head back."
     "As we head back," I repeated. "Except you would have been at the warehouse otherwise had you not already made the long trek here."
     "No, I was in the area," Cinnamon lied with her smile growing.
     "Right. Well, thanks. It is a nice day for a walk."

She knew I knew she lied, but what was the point in calling it out? This had been what Cinnamon and Ruby had been doing for weeks─ distracting me from focusing on a certain missing someone.

Quick Update 4/6/20

I wanted to make sure I got this up before it got too late after coming to a decision for this week. Obviously, everyone's aware of what's going on in the world, so I won't talk in depth on it. I'll just state I'm going to be asking for one more week for the next chapter. My state and place of business was quick to shut everything down as soon as 3 cases crept over our border, so we're days away from it being a month for me since I've been self-quarantining.  I'm in a pretty good place: being paid my normal paycheck, living with a few family members, being a pretty insular person to begin with and not minding the quiet, and really not having to worry about too much. It really is just the slog of the cabin fever settling in over the past month. There's been plenty of time to write, but a block has popped up where nothing's coming out. Part of that is the pressure of having a chapter out by a certain time. I can put it out a day or two late, sure, yet that exacerbates the issue by forcing me to sit in my room even longer struggling harder. Then it leads to me being behind on getting in-game, taking more pictures, planning, and having to hunker down in my room more to try to get back on schedule. Just giving myself the extra week gets rid of a lot of that. My apologies for any disappointment.

In hopes of giving you all a little something, I'm going to link what I've watched over the years on YouTube to keep myself entertained in case you might find them interesting too.

Gen Four- Chapter Twenty Two

Cinnamon teased me and called me a guard dog. It was true I pace the balcony and back hallway incessantly staring out all the windows, but my actions were definitely that of a dog panicked by separation anxiety than one gallantly manning the perimeter. She did, of course, agree that Pieter's sudden silence and lack of his presence proved worrying. He had stayed out for a night here and there in the past. That was obviously him staying at his dad's. But to go into a third day with no communication? I paced a bit faster.

     "Cinnamon, c'mon, we've got a great breakfast. Tulip and I worked hard on these omelettes, and I know you love them. They're even still somewhat warm. You don't want to miss that opportunity, do you?"

Jessamine had been trying to get me to eat for fifteen minutes. This time she brought the food directly in front of me. The part of my body that didn't care about my mental state and only worked to continue my functions of living sent out itching calls to shove that whole thing in my mouth.

     "It's okay. I'd rather wait here," I denied.

    "It's not going to make a difference. What will happen will happen. You'll be better prepared, even for things like giving Pieter a slap on the head when he gets back, if you've got energy in you."

     "I..."

     "Come."

Jessamine took my hand with an iron grip.

Gen Four- Chapter Twenty One

I was out of my realm of expertise here. My skills in the creative arts were passable at best. I more preferred and was better at things like math and science. The logical stuff. Coral wished to come to the art museum though, so here we were. Appreciating something that looked interesting or beautiful was the hard part, but Coral tried to be more analytical, which had me shrugging my shoulders.

     "The vibrant lights definitely make the statues take on a weird appearance. When the beams rotate to being off, the stone is shaped to look smoother and more natural. The presence of the lights then changes them to be more...artificial, I guess? Almost like they're projections." I tried.

    "Oh, maybe you're onto something. It could be a statement to how you can't take in the world at face value. That things aren't simply skin-deep. The colored lights show the superficial, highlight the easy to see. It's when that mindset fades away that you can see the details, see the statues for what they really are."

     "Um, sure. Yeah, that sounds like good reasoning to me."

Coral nodded firmly but moved closer, studying the piece hard.

     "Or maybe..."

I smiled and took a step back, letting her ponder all she wished.

Gen Four- Chapter Twenty

A comfortable chill settled in the air as night began to fall. The dying sun battled with the moon and stars for dominance, resulting in a brilliant show of gold and navy with a rainbow of hues in the middle. I'd stared up again and again until night started to win. My neck winced and so I kept my attention on what was right around me. Nowhere was more appealing to sit at the moment than at the fire. Fennel, Ginger's mom, and Sphene joined me. The mother and daughter were absolute chatter-boxes, but I didn't mind listening to their words.

     "I'd ask her every morning if that was what she wanted to wear, and every morning she'd say yes. The more outrageous the design and the more mismatched the socks were, the prouder Sphene walked."

     "Mooom," Sphene wined. "I thought we were only telling embarrassing stories about Ginger!"

    "I think it's a cute story, that you wanted to wear your socks over your pants. Fashion and how we dress is all made up and constantly changing. People have gotten on me for my ribbons even though I'm not pink. In the end, I've decided I don't care what they think," I explained.

     "Yeah, but now I think me doing that was stupid." Sphene slumped in her chair.

     "Haha, well, everyone does have choices they regret," I shrugged.

Gen Four- Chapter Nineteen

It was at times like these where I wished more than ever for proper lighting. Tulip and I were in the middle of our intense foosball game that had my palms hurting and arms aching from the repeated reaching up and down the table. I put in all that effort, and it was the shadows doing me in. I kept losing sight of the ball.

     "Gah, seriously..." I complained as Tulip reset after scoring. I rubbed my eyes and pressed them closed hard for a few seconds trying to force them to adjust.

     "You gotta stop blaming the lack of light, girl. You're getting more of the sunlight coming in from your side. If anyone should be having trouble, it would be me. I'm just better though," Tulip taunted.

     "I really think I'm not seeing as well as I used to," I frowned.

Or the more likely answer, which I knew, was that I remained paranoid. I couldn't get what that jerk who attacked me said. Of how suddenly frightened of me he became. Someone staring at you like you were a monster didn't easily leave one's memory.

     "Are things fuzzy?" Tulip asked.

     "No. Nothing like that's changed, but..."

     "Well, just shout if you randomly go blind. People donate old eyeglasses for those who can't afford them, but besides that there's not much we can do." She smoothly scored another goal. "And if you're simply avoiding your miserable loss, I can help you even less."

Gen Four- Chapter Eighteen

The rain meant to come tomorrow was to be the first wet day in a week and a half. The unending sun hardened the ground rigidly solid. However, my feet shuffled as if caught in the thickest of sludge with my muscles hardening like I'd run all day. I just wanted to return to the warehouse for rest, but I took the longer paths most likely to curb my paranoia. Most of them looped back around or provided me extra sight of the area I'd just come from. My widened eyes searched and locked on to every small rustle of movement. If someone followed, how could I miss them after such diligent alertness?

Relief slowly battled the fear as my feet crept me closer and closer home. I'd walked far enough away to throw off my real destination. I'd done the circling to ensure no one did indeed follow. All that was left to do was return to safety where I'm sure Larkspur would continue to prod of why I acted weird and Pieter would let me snuggle him until I was calm. I hated how cold this swampy area was though. It didn't feel freezing, but it must have been given the goosebumps rippling up and down my arms. I rubbed them down, and they came right back. I rubbed faster, and they exploded harder in retaliation.

Today's Update

The posting of the short story probably makes it clear, but I've unfortunately reached a week already where I have to hold off on the main story. It feels like something always pops up at the last second to stall my work, haha. This week it was someone side-swiping my mom while she borrowed my car (she's fine) and then her car abruptly not working. I really like how this short story came out though, so I hope you don't mind popping back in time while I have the week to write the next chapter and prep for the next.

Kelsey

Color My World Short Story #11

Staring at the scene before me didn't flash my memories back. It bludgeoned them into my face at 100 miles per hour. How vividly I recalled the day I came home from work to find plums lining the windowsills, kitchen counters, and the dining table. That was Dahlia's way of announcing her first pregnancy to me. It was also her apology. The pregnancy hadn't been planned, and she'd been having one of her exploration periods with another guy. She'd used all sorts of protection with him and none with me, so the likelihood was the child was mine, but Dahlia was hung up on the fact that the child had a minuscule chance of belonging to that other man. I said I found no fault in the situation─ she'd had my permission to be with the him and protection was never foolproof. However, the plums were Dahlia's way of needlessly appeasing me. Boy or girl, I'd wanted our first child to be named Plum. The fruits were her agreeing to give me that wish without any challenge. The daughter that came that was indeed mine then became a big sister to the twin girls that followed. She cooed over them the way Gilly and Dianthus, twins, gushed over their singular little brother.

     "I want to hold him. Can I hold him?" Gilly glanced back to us, eyes shining.
   "You cannot. It's time for you and your sister to go help your Mama Lia clean her living room. That's your apology for making that huge mess the other day, remember?" Amaranth said.
     "But it was mostly Apple who did it!" Gilly whined.
     "Saying 'mostly' just means you did still have a part in it," I pointed out.

Gilly stuck her tongue out at my smirk.

     "The faster we clean, the faster we can come back," Dianthus reasoned. She bounced on her heels excitedly when looking at her brother, as if she might suddenly jump high into the sky.
     "That's true," Gilly accepted.
     "Get going then. Look both ways before you go across the street," Amaranth instructed.
     "We know!" Dianthus replied proudly.

Gen Four- Chapter Seventeen

Cinnamon bounced and skipped as we walked along, which brought a big stupid grin to my own face as well. We all clung to what made us happiest to deal with the extra stresses in our life. However, I couldn't fathom how she continued to get such overflowing joy at going to the spa after all these years. Cinnamon and Tulip forever went multiple times a week. How it hadn't become absolutely monotonous, who could say? I ran my fingers over the freshly blossomed flowers on my left while letting her ramble on about what kind of package she wanted. Perhaps to her the spa was her coffee. Something that made her function and left her grumpy when not taken advantage of.

     "Mmm! The air smells so good today. Fresh and clean!" Ruby, walking in front, gushed, stretching her arms high into the sky.

    "That's true. I'm sure it's the flowers nearby, but it's like we've stepped into an endless field of heaven," Cinnamon imagined gleefully.

She and Ruby glanced at me. I shrugged with a light smile.

     "It's alright."

Gen Four- Chapter Sixteen

My chest caught as, on this quiet morning, a lively wind sped forward caring for nothing in its way. Bearing the tangy scent of salt and a brush of moisture, it'd clearly come off the sea. However, I closed my eyes and was thrown back. Memories always hit hard around this time of year─ when the changes that led me here had begun. In that moment I stood as if I stood in that river once more. The trees in the park played the same melody as imagination had me sure cool water tugged at my legs. The taunting sun's warmth hinted hotter days approaching while the dying watch on my wrist, long outgrown, tricked me into believing I had all the time in the world. I wondered what I would do...if I did open my eyes to find myself thrust into the past with the knowledge I had now. Perhaps I finally might be able to determine what I thought about the past at all.

     "Cinnamon? What are you doing?"

Regarding CMW's Near Future Schedule

Hello, all!

With the release of Gen Four's Chapter Fifteen, Nutmeg's childhood arc has officially come to a close. Chapter Sixteen will move into her teenage years, and it feels weird to think we've reached this point with her already. That being said, I'm writing this to say that the upcoming chapters for the indeterminate future will likely not be as timely. Chapter Sixteen will not release tomorrow as I need a bit of a break and more time to prep the changes for the new arcs.

The main reason why chapters after that might not be right on time, however, is due to work. The short of it is that the location I work at, our local library, had a stagnant staff for the longest time. A large number of people began to retire right as I joined, and many of the tasks were assimilated to those who remained with the positions being chopped up and offered as part-time. (A tactic being done everywhere that I absolutely despise.) This means anyone who is hired rarely stays long, leading to a perpetual revolving door of hiring new people, which tends to go quite slow here. There's been a position open since last July that still hasn't been filled, and more people have left since then. We don't work with a lot of staff, so even a few gaps here creates much more work for those who remain. I've been picking up extra hours to help cover, but that's been why most weeks I don't have time to work on CMW until Saturday or Sunday where I furiously write all day desperately trying to get it done for Monday. While I want to avoid skipping weeks entirely, there might have to be a few more of those than normal here and there. Most of the time, however, I'll likely just need to post on late Monday or perhaps Tuesday. I'll make an announcement if a week does need to be skipped. Otherwise, I simply need the extra day.

Thank you so much for reading, and thank you for your understanding! Things will hopefully go back to normal once the positions are filled.

~Kelsey

Gen Four- Chapter Fifteen

Sensitive topic warning: assault

Honestly, I would have never survived winter on my own. It came early as anticipated, and it proceeds to lay down its wrath each time the city begins to feel comfortable with the onslaught of snow. My previous main source of income would've be lost with the flakes burying any dropped money, which meant my pitiful hut would have almost certainly collapsed. I would have been stuck with the choice of freezing to death or giving myself up to the police to survive even before then. As I shuffled through the snow in the boots Coral bought, I pondered where the police would have placed me as, naturally, I would give myself up before going dramatic and picking death as the alternative. I seriously couldn't imagine my fate. I did laugh at the idea of me being put into a terrible foster home only to run away and find the warehouse regardless though.

But, surprisingly, winter's arrival proved a massive boon for me. There was no shortage of people who were willing to fork over money for someone else to shovel snow so they could stay warm and lazy in their house instead. The repetitive nature of the snow falling so frequently meant my worry about paying rent disappeared, for I made well over rent each day. I now had a solid savings started with Leo and Coral. Better yet, the people I shoveled for now were likely more inclined to want me back for other yard projects when warmer weather came.

     "Oh boy."

Some jobs were rough though. I stared at the massive driveway leading to the three-car garage coated in a foot's worth of snow and took a deep breath.

Gen Four- Chapter Fourteen

After I flipped the newspaper to the next page, I took the pause in my reading to quickly rub my fingers together for warmth. Autumn now dominated the season, barely permitting summer's heat to remain. The clothes Coral bought kept most of me comfortable, but it was getting to the point where the gloves might have to start coming out.

If I had any gloves.

I hadn't found any more babysitting working despite Leo getting the small victory he did for me. He took the last check from Mr. and Mrs. Glaze to the bank to confirm with them it was fraudulent. He declined starting an investigation when they asked, choosing to leave any actions regarding that to the bank, but they were able to give him a statement confirming the false payment. Leo contacted the babysitting website with that proof and a screenshot of the terrible review left for me. Both the Glaze's profile and the bad review vanished within the day. Still, despite that, I remained too young for other parents to want to take a chance on me.

     "Do you really want me to read this article, Mr. Basalt? It's another negative story." I questioned to the old man sitting next to me.

With my ability to pay rent growing abysmal, Pieter gave up his job reading the newspaper to Mr. Basalt each morning to me.

     "It's fine, dear. Good or bad, it is better to know. People may say that ignorance is bliss, but it is not to me."

Gen Four- Chapter Thirteen

I frowned at Pieter. What was this he was getting me to do?

     "I really don't think I can do this. It feels wrong..." I mumbled.

     "Remember what I said on your first day? They'll have a chance to catch us. That's something we make sure they have. I mean, I'm pretty good so they likely won't notice, but still. The point stands. Besides, we're hardly draining their banks accounts. If they're fine handing over a few bucks, what harm does it truly do to not spend it how we say we are? They're helping us survive either way. Honestly, they're giving us something infinitely more precious than what they think. Better karma will come their way, and we'll be closer to paying rent."

     "I...guess. I still don't like it..."

     "C'mon, Meg, it'll be fine. Remember, all you have to do is look unwell. I'll take care of the talking part."

     "O-Okay," I agreed hesitantly, to which Pieter laughed.

     "Honestly, you don't have to act sick that much. Your moping face is pitiful enough."

He poked my cheek. I swatted his hand away.

     "Let's just do this before they walk away."

Gen Four- Chapter Twelve

All it took was a few hours on my first night sleeping on one of the couches to learn the floor was the preferable option. Even the couch in that apartment with Mr. Flaxen had been better. I'd dropped to the ground where my weary eyes kept awake by discomfort instantly slid me into peaceful bliss. Coriander had been on the other side of the room that night. We'd both slept soundlessly until Jessamine coming out to begin her day jokingly poked us each with her foot. This morning, however, my companion in sharing the lesser sleeping arrangements cared nothing for letting me doze as late as I wanted. Tulip only had one night every week to not have a bed simply for fairness's sake and not because she didn't earn enough money. This was my first day of the new week where I was on a timer to make that fifty dollars.

     "Ah, what a beautiful morning," Tulip spoke obnoxiously loud.

She stomped about remarking unnecessarily on mundane things and narrating her actions like she was a character in a book. Clearly, she meant to wake me up and keep me up by being annoying. I didn't care as much as she wanted though. My desire for a few more minutes of rest blocked out her attempts at being distracting.