Gen Four- Chapter Thirteen

I frowned at Pieter. What was this he was getting me to do?

     "I really don't think I can do this. It feels wrong..." I mumbled.

     "Remember what I said on your first day? They'll have a chance to catch us. That's something we make sure they have. I mean, I'm pretty good so they likely won't notice, but still. The point stands. Besides, we're hardly draining their banks accounts. If they're fine handing over a few bucks, what harm does it truly do to not spend it how we say we are? They're helping us survive either way. Honestly, they're giving us something infinitely more precious than what they think. Better karma will come their way, and we'll be closer to paying rent."

     "I...guess. I still don't like it..."

     "C'mon, Meg, it'll be fine. Remember, all you have to do is look unwell. I'll take care of the talking part."

     "O-Okay," I agreed hesitantly, to which Pieter laughed.

     "Honestly, you don't have to act sick that much. Your moping face is pitiful enough."

He poked my cheek. I swatted his hand away.

     "Let's just do this before they walk away."

Pieter sauntered off before I could change my mind. Unable to give in to my conscience burning holes in my nervous stomach, I dutifully followed. Pieter had to be right. It was a harmless dollar or two we were asking for. Spare change that went to ensure Pieter and I had a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. He and I weren't going to use it inappropriately.

    "Excuse me, ma'ams?" Pieter approached the two old ladies around the corner of the fancy movie theater entrance.

The burning holes flared until a sun replaced my gut. My acting became acting only because I had to pretend I wasn't as miserable as I actually felt.

     "Yes?" the orange and gray woman asked.

     "We don't mean to bother you, but I was hoping you might be able to help my cousin and I out. We're waiting for my dad to pick us up, but he's running rather late. The thing is, my cousin is diabetic, and her blood sugar is beginning to drop. There's a vending machine with a granola bar for seventy-five cents, so is there a chance one of you can spare a dollar, please?"

Pieter lied so kindly and effortlessly I wondered if he wanted to go into the performance arts. He meant what he said. He was good.

     "Oh, dear, of course. Here, take this and get however much you need." The other woman cooed and handed him a five.

    "I believe there's a drink machine by there as well. Take this and get some liquid in her as well." The other woman doubled the offering.

     "Thank you so much. I'll be sure to bring back the change," Pieter said.

     "Don't worry about it, sweetheart. Just kept it on hand if she needs something in the future."

     "I will. Again, thank you."

     "Thank you," I forced out. My quivering voice and misty eyes were genuine.

My lungs accepted air again after we turned the corner, dashed off, and we were away from where the women could discover us. The buzzing of my skin faded, noises returned to my muffled hearing, and colors returned to their normal vibrancy.

     "We made out really good. At best, I expected two dollars," Pieter said.

     "I don't think I can do this stuff consistently," I explained.

    "I suppose it's something you adjust to, depending on how desperate you are at the time." Pieter shrugged. "Regardless, this was meant to be a lesson, so I'm going to teach you properly. There are several key things to note. We used a good excuse while making it clear we didn't need other kinds of help. I implied my 'dad' would be arriving in the not so distant future, thus offering a ride would be useless, and I didn't mark you as being in a bad enough state to warrant medical attention. I also directly asked for the lowest amount possible. It throws off the suspicion of greed. Saying I would come back with the change adds to that."

     "Okay," I quietly repeated.

    "One of the most important aspects of doing this is also to just take whatever's given. If they gave me the seventy-five cents, that's seventy-five cents I didn't have before. If one of them had a granola bar in their purse, that would have been a free snack. It only hurts to push the request for money. Better to walk off and try with the next person."

     "Hmm."

Pieter glanced back and smiled. He snuck his hand in mine to led me to a set of vending machines

     "Wait, you're actually buying something?"

     "Another trick. If given enough, do the thing you said you're going to do. We simply deserve a snack as well."

I couldn't deny the candy bar Pieter offered. It'd been too long since I had such chocolate, caramel, and pretzel goodness. The change from that first five went into his pocket while the other bill went into mine. He and I quietly devoured our bars of sugar while we walked around the edges of the city. Assuming Pieter was looking for more scams to run,my heart jumped suddenly realizing I knew the corner we turned all too well. There the little park I'd hidden at came to view. My head searched this way and that for the police officer. Naturally, he was nowhere to be found. Pieter took my hand again to lure me forward before my quivering chest found the courage to allow me to say what had happened.

But, as we stepped onto the lot, as the moments came and went...I didn't feel so scared anymore.

The sun shone bright overheard despite the colder wind. The city bustled with noise and activity. Pieter was right there tasked once more to watch over me. I loosened my nerves realizing there was danger here no longer. My mind did still think of that night though. How I'd been lax in carrying a stick or weapon on me. How I'd forgotten about 'Jazzy'. How hard things had been for me on my own.

     "Hey, Meg?" Pieter called to me from the slide he'd run to.
     "Yeah?"
    "Tell me some cool stuff you know about. Spreading Roots is said to be crazy advanced compared to legal organizations, right?"
     "Sure, but I still haven't fully forgiven you, remember? I'm not going to tell you anything," I folded my arms.
     "Aww, but I'm doing so much. Paying your rent, helping you earn money, teaching you the tricks and secrets."
     "Because that's your punishment for lying. Your restitution doesn't earn you bonus points."
     "Just one word then. Give me one small hint just for the fact that you like me."
     "Barely," I scoffed, mostly jokingly.
     "But 'barely' is still a confirmation that I'm right," Pieter grinned widely.
      I rolled my eyes but smiled. "Fine then. I'll give you a word. Moss."
     "Moss?" Pieter repeated curiously.

He glanced to the sky clearly trying to imagine how moss could be cutting-edge, and I let him wonder by making my way to the swings.

Gravel escorted me later that afternoon. It was Tuesday, a crucial day. Pieter helped me earn chump change here and there over the weekend, but it wasn't enough for rent. No more babysitting requests came for me either. Watching Jade and hoping Mr. and Mrs. Glaze meant what they said about paying me properly was my one last, proper shot at earning my fare without running around all day scrounging for pennies.

     "Seriously, if they try to screw you over, come out and get me. I won't let them treat you like that," Gravel promised upon us reaching the apartment building.
     "Thanks, Gravel," I beamed before having a thought enter my mind. "So, I wonder, do you have any younger siblings?"
     "Huh? Oh. I did have a younger sister when I lived at home. Why do you ask?"
     "Well..." I blushed lightly. "You're treating me like how I imagine a protective older brother would treat a little sister. It made me think maybe you are a big brother."

Gravel stared past me, fondness yet sadness twinging his expression to memories of something lost.

     "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up something unpleasant," I flustered.
    "No, you didn't. Don't worry I do have a little sister, Marble. We were incredibly close, and I miss her a lot everyday. I suppose I have begun to treat you as I did her. Hope it's not bothersome."
     "I don't mind. I'm honored." I dipped a little curtsy.

Gravel simply laughed and dangled me in another consuming hug.

Then it was time to head to the call box and into the elevator. Walking through the front door was like dunking myself into ice water. My composure maintained only because Jade greeted me first.

     "Cin'mon! Play! Come play!" She cheetah-dashed and attached herself to my leg.
     "Hello, Jade."
     "Hi!"

Following her much more appropriately, Mr. and Mrs. Glaze stood before me.

     "Thank you so much for coming again, Cinnamon. Jade couldn't stop asking when you'd get here. She had so much fun playing with you. A great number of the other babysitters just told her to play by herself while they watched television or did something else," Mr. Glaze said.
     "That defeats the purpose of the job, doesn't it?"
    "Exactly," Mrs. Glaze nodded definitively. "That's why we want to make sure you receive our appreciation for the wonderful effort you've put forth, which is why I'm giving this to you now."

She slipped from her purse a check, and in my hands I held it like a box of gold bars. Written out for me to have was my payment. The entire promised one hundred dollars. Sixty for the inconvenience last time, and forty dollars for today.

     "Ah, thank you very much," I tried not to show how tearful the check made me.

It got tucked securely into my pocket.

Jade couldn't hold back any longer. She dragged me to her bedroom only giving Mrs. Glaze enough time to call up the stairs explaining today's instructions were written in the same notebook as before. I soon heard the front door lock and the elevator ding. Jade proudly held up the new doll she'd gotten over the weekend, a brown one with braids hanging over her shoulders. Honestly, a few tears trickled down my cheeks the second she placed it in my hands.

Perhaps because of that, I agreed to something I knew wasn't pleasant.

Playing horsie.

     "Daddy won't do this with me," Jade explained, enraptured even by our slow circling on the carpet. My knees could no longer stand the wooden floor.
     "Being a horse is hard, so that's understandable." I tried not to show the wincing on my face. "So, Jade. Is your mom going to find out if you're going to have a brother or sister?"
     "Huh?"
     "Doctors can take special photos of the baby inside your mom. Have your parents mentioned anything like that?"
     "Oh, yeah! Mommy said we have a party in a few weeks."
     "Party?"
     "To show the special pi'tures."
     "That sounds fun."
     "You come?"
     "Hmm, maybe. Your parents would have to invite me, which I don't know if they want to."
     "You can come!"
     "I'll ask them when it gets closer to the date, how about that?"
     "Okay!"

Eventually, I had to quite being a horse. The skin on my knees daggered spikes that would bruise should I continue. Jade was thankfully fine with the two of us moving outside for a snack of pretzels and more playing. She showed off her fancy moves she'd learned in her ballet class she started yesterday when I turned on the radio. I showed her mine in return, which only wrenched my chest at how foreign they felt. Even walking around most of the day wasn't anything like the intensive exercise done at home. Adding onto the fact my meals weren't that great, some of my muscles squished more than I desired.

     "Oh, Jade. What's wrong?"

I'd turned around for a second to turn back finding her crying her head off.

     "I-I wanted the f-flower, but the fence...!"

I assumed she'd caught her finger in the decorative swirls on the fence when reaching her hand through.

     "Let me take a look."
     "Don't touch it!" Jade bawled, squirming.
     "I won't, promise."

Kneeling down to inspect the damage, a long breath of relief came out seeing there wasn't really that much damage. Jade's finger only had the faintest discoloration from the pulling, there wasn't a single cut or scratch, and there were no signs the bones was broken.

     "Yup, this is the kind of owie that calls for some magic," I declared.
     "Magic?"
     "Yes, watch."

I tickled my fingers up Jade's other arm, around her head, down her stomach, and back down her injured side making up random, arcane woods before lifting her arm and gently snapping it down like a flick of the wand.

     "That should make your finger feel better. It takes the good feeling from your other hand and brings it to the owie."
     "It does feel better!" Jade exclaimed in awe.

Grandpa created this 'spell' for me when I was little. I believed in it for the longest time until Mr. Mint pointed out it likely helped with the hurt because it redirected my focus off the pain and to the pleasant sensation of the light tickle.

Crying madly in one second, Jade then bounced around like an excited bunny with mad squeals begging with all the force her lungs could muster for me to teach her more magic. I said I would, but only if we cleaned up her toy box. That condition saw us flying through the requirements Mrs. Glaze left behind once more. What also flew was the rest of the time until Jade's parents returned. They thanked me again for taking care of their daughter so well, and the elevator couldn't take me to the ground floor fast enough.

     "Things go well?" Gravel asked with a tilted smile at me bounding over.
     "Jade and I had a lot of fun, and Mr. and Mrs. Glaze gave me this before I even began working today." I shoved the check in his face.
     "Today's snack is on you then?" he teased.
    "Nope! Mr. and Mrs. Glaze said their meetings happen last second most of the time, and their schedules shift frequently. They asked if I could come again tomorrow afternoon. I'm going to have Leo deposit this to pay off my rent and put the extra in savings. What I get tomorrow will be my spending money."
     "So, snacks will be on you tomorrow?" Gravel's grin widened.
     "Sure. But what are you buying me today?"
     "Wow, you're really taking this little sister thing to its fullest, aren't you?" he laughed loudly.
     "I want popcorn! Popcorn~!" I sang, grabbing his arm and pulling while I bounced towards the sidewalk.
     "Fine," Gravel relented without a fight. "There's a store that pops fresh bags this way."

Forgetting about my earlier worry of not keeping my body to the same standards as before, I said nothing at Gravel buying three bags. One for each of us, and the third was to share when those ran out. I'm ashamed to say we finished all three well before the warehouse came into sight. Gravel, unfortunately, returned to his quiet shell as soon as we stepped through the doors. I didn't see why he couldn't easily open up to the others as he had me, but it would have to be his decision. Forcing him wouldn't do any good. Thus, I surprised Leo showing him the check. He took it, relieved as I was. Finding Jessamine was next on my agenda.

     "Ugh, I'm so sorry," she sniffled after a massive sneeze. She'd barely turned away in time to avoid blasting me. "Eww, right into my hand too. That came out fast."
     "Getting sick?" I wondered while she popped a small bottle of hand sanitizer from her pocket.
     "I don't think so. This place is just freezing! Too much wind comes off the sea, and this building has next to no insulation. Most of the windows are pretty bad too. If only it wasn't so expensive to run the space heaters all the time."
     "I was thinking about that, actually. Pieter told me about the heaters, and my first thought was how much it cost to constantly charge them. Things might be better if we invested in heated blankets?"
     "Heated blankets?"
    "Uh-huh. There are ones that run on electricity and ones that are battery-operated. We'd want the latter, of course. Leo and Coral could just charge a heater for the common area, maybe this bedroom because of the bath, and then when everyone goes to sleep the blankets keep them warm. We could also walk around with them. I'm not sure how long the batteries last, but replacing them would still likely be way cheaper in the long run."
     "That's a good idea. Seriously, I'd love a soft blanket I can walk around with everywhere while it warms me. How expensive are they?"
    "Depends on the quality and size. I looked up the prices when I was trying to figure out how to handle the winter before I came here. The cheap ones go for about thirty-five dollars, but the best ones average one hundred."
     "Not too bad for an investment that could save money in the long-term. I'll make sure to mention it with Leo and Coral with full credit going to you. Seriously, I'm glad you joined this family."

It was simple praise Jessamine gave me. While it was nice to feel wanted and have my idea supported, she'd hardly said anything outrageously kind. It shouldn't have affected me past boosting my cheerfulness momentarily. A large of the problem came to be that I didn't feel happy. The complete opposite, in fact. Jessamine turned to get a tissue. Tears assaulted my eyes without warning where my face scrunched at the horror on the sudden onslaught. There was no hiding anything. Streams drenched my cheeks as my breathing hitched. I might as well be Jade, bawling for the whole world to hear.

     "Hey, what's wrong?" Jessamine frowned in concern.
     "I...I don't..."

Harder and harder I stole my breaths. My palms smashed into my face desperate to hide and claim any decency left. A little puddle collected on the floor from the waterfall dripping off my nose.

     "I...I miss my dad and grandpa! But, but I hate them so much! But I hate that I hate them! I don't know! Dad never loved me! He only said that he did! A-And, Grandpa...he might have loved me, yet he just stood aside as Dad did so many horrible things! People were killed, and Mom was hurt so, so badly! Then she was killed too, and my twin sister as well! Why then...why then do I want to run into their arms like before? If there was the choice to be with them, to go back to living how we were before...part of me feels like I might be willing to just forget everything!"
     "Cinnamon..." Jessamine whispered.

The room went silent momentarily save for my sobbing. Jessamine eventually released a heavy breath and softly rubbed my shoulders.

     "You've been holding in a lot, huh? I had no idea you had a sister."
     "We were fraternal twins, my sister being older. Apparently, my mom slept with the guy she actually loved and was dating before she was kidnapped. My sister was his child instead of Dad's. That's why he killed her days after she was born. I didn't know she even existed until after Dad and Grandpa were arrested."
     "I'm so sorry. What was her name?"
     "...Cinnamon."

I had little strength to hold back. Jessamine, naturally, gave me a look.

     "What's your name then?"

To that, I shook my head.

     "Well, despite that, it's clear to me you feel safe here. Safe enough with me as well to let the wall you built break, no matter if you wanted it to break or not."
     "Should I hate them?" I asked desperately, Jessamine a giant blob of color in my sight. "Grandpa especially cared for me so well. The reason he and Dad were arrested was because he gave them up. He wanted me to live freely, break out of the lies. Is he not a good person?"
     "I...don't know. Sorry. There's likely not a good answer to give you. The situation is complicated. People are complicated. All I can say for certain though is you're wanted here. I'll help take care of you. Promise."
     "Thanks, Jess," I sniffled loudly. "Can you promise not to mention my sister and the fact that my name isn't Cinnamon too?"
     "Of course."

The corners of my eyes now burning and exhaustion hitting me hard, I collapsed against her chest for a good embrace.

However, the emotions were slow to leave. Tears returned after the brief respite where Jessamine had to shoo off Jam wanting a bath in order to grant me the peace to release everything without worry. I ran the water when I couldn't hide any longer refresh my skin and have an excuse for my weird expression. Pain, confusion, and nostalgia urged me to the shore to find some rocks. I'd given up what I found the day I snuck out in order to not burden myself. Now that I was here, holding on to a few random rocks wouldn't hurt.

Unfortunately, Cinnamon stopped me on my way. The splashing of water hadn't stopped the last of the tears, so I met her rubbing my misty gaze.

     "Eww." She backed away quickly holding up her hands like I had the plague.
     "Lay off it for one minute, will you?" I scoffed bitterly. "I'm not sick."
     "Aww, is the baby just sad?"
     "You know, I thought the point of this place was for it to be safe from the world's cruelty. You and Tulip are hypocrites acting this way. Bullying is abuse too."
     "Except we're not hypocrites. You're not one of us. You're an outsider, and you'll be an outsider until we say so. It's only fair for us to protect what's important to us."
     "Important to you? That's bullshit. You and Tulip hardly interact with anyone else. I've been here less than a month, and I can probably tell you more about everyone than you can tell me."
     "But you know who you weren't important to?" Cinnamon taunted.
     "Yeah, yeah. My mom, you're going to say. Sing a different tune, why don't you? The fact that that's what came out of your mouth and not a real argument makes it ever more clear that I'm right and you're a bitch," I growled.
     "You're a...a...bi..."
     "Aww, is the good little girl too perfect to say a no-no word?"

Cinnamon's cheeks flushed. She stomped her foot, spun on her heel, and scurried off. I stuck my tongue out with a nasty scowl. How dare she have the same name as my sister! It pissed me off.

My goal changed due to her. Leo returned my ten dollars once I gave him the check. Having a bit of spare money made me feel better. In this case, I ignored Skylar calling to come goof off with him to dash to a gardening store. Most of the plants were being put away due to the colder weather. Luck was with me though. I found a pot of dianthus flowers marked down due to some of the flowers wilting and the stems drooping. Paying six dollars for the plant didn't make me hesitate in the slightest. I walked tall and proud holding my purchase. There was nowhere to plant it by the warehouse, but I didn't want to plant it anywhere in the ground. My whole chest, not just my stomach, wrenched and shuddered with nausea thinking of all the years I spent resting next to the flowers at home with the skeletons of Mom and Cinnamon mere feet below me. They hadn't deserved that. I pressed on until I reached the cemetery. There were several in the city, but this one made the most sense with its quieter and more nature-filled location. Anyone getting too made at me digging into the ground seemed unlikely since I stayed away from anyone's grave and was adding to the decor instead of messing it up, yet I hid behind the tree I dug the hole for my flowers for whenever anyone drove or walked by. The pond on the lot allowed me to clean my dirt-stained hands.

Then...I just sat. I sat by the flowers thinking and not thinking at the same time. The one real thought pressing into my brain was that I still had no word for feeling everything and nothing at the same time.

     "Hey, Mom?"

My lips could barely form the words. I curled my tongue disgusted at having the audacity to talk to her like this anymore, but I couldn't leave with my feelings unsaid.

     "I'm...sorry for all that happened. I would change it in an instant if I could. If the universe gave me the choice to have you and Cinnamon away safe with your family in exchange for my existence, well...that's simply the right thing to do, isn't it? You were going to be a doctor. Save lives. Cinnamon was the child you made from love. The one who was wanted. Me? I...I never had any real purpose." I dug my heel into the loamy dirt. "Dad used me as an experiment, and once that reason went away I lost what use I was. I'm not living for anything. I'm lying, I'm faking, I'm stealing, I'm taking advantage of the true good there is in this world just to make sure I can draw one more breath. That truly is it. I'm breathing and taking up space. Even when I'm older, become an adult─ it's not like I can do anything then. I don't exist in the system. I can't get a real job, live in a real house. I'll be here until the end of my days...ripping away the pieces of myself that feel good merely for the sake of existing.

A cold wind blew with a moaning cry. I shivered and numbly held a petal between my fingers.

     "If Tulip and Cinnamon are any example, it shows me how much what Dad did hurt you. I really am sorry I'm part of the agony put into your life. I don't mind that you hated me. Truly, I don't. I understand. I just had to say all this first. These flowers won't last long with me replanting them so late in the year. If I could just come here until they wilt, I won't bother you after that."

The wind slammed harder in its roll against the ground, the moan bellowing deeper. The cerulean sky glittered bright with few clouds, but I hadn't checked the weather. A storm could be coming in. I hurried back to the warehouse not wanting to be caught. The rain didn't come though. I played with Skylar as he wanted and otherwise returned to passing the time waiting for more time to come. Jessamine, showing the signs of a real cold now, stayed with me the next day as it was my turn to watch the place. She mostly slept while I cleaned and took survey of the windows. There was special, clear material like cling wrap we could put over them assist in keeping out the cold if we could find a way to get hard heat on them, like from a hair dryer.

Babysitting Jade in the afternoon was a most welcome event. Seeing her brightened my day as much as it did hers. We played a lot, I convinced her to help me straighten up her things, and we enjoyed a delightful snack of fruit salad. Mr. and Mrs. Glaze returned at the proper time like normal handing me another check. I was thanking them and saying my goodbye when Mr. Glaze turned to me with something of a frown.

     "Cinnamon, there's an orange man here saying he's your foster father. He wants to come up."
     "Leo? That is my foster dad, yeah."

Mr. Glaze paged him in. The three of us waited curiously, and I addressed Leo the instant he came inside.

     "Leo? What's up? I thought Gravel was going to walk me home like normal."
     "He was, but I decided I needed to come today. I got a call from the bank, you see. The check you were given bounced."

The air immediately stiffened. Not overly familiar with checks, I assumed something went wrong where it didn't process properly.

     "Oh my, we're sorry," Mrs. Glaze gasped. "We realized this morning we forgot to transfer funds between our accounts to make sure there was enough to pay Cinnamon. We must have moved them too late, causing the problem."
     "How were you paid today, Cinnamon?"
     "Another check."
    "I see. Mr. and Mrs. Glaze, I hope you can understand why I'll ask now if all of Cinnamon's accrued payment can be given to us in cash. She has now received a mere ten dollars for three days of work, and I've had to pay a fee to the bank for your check not working."

Both parties smiled. However, none of them were happy.

     "We are sorry for the trouble. However, the check Cinnamon has will work. We can write another for the one that hasn't gone through, covering the cost of the bank fee. I'm afraid, however, to go to the bank at this moment will─"
     "There's an ATM right on the corner of your building," Leo interrupted Mr. Glaze. "I saw it when I came in. You and your wife have finished your obligations given that this is the time Cinnamon was given to stop watching your daughter. It won't take five minutes for just one of you to go to the ATM and get the money. The fee for using the machine can be payment for me having the bank fine. All you need in Cinnamon's payment."
     "That ATM isn't working at the moment."
    "It is," Leo scowled within his grin. "The reason why I noticed it was because someone was using it. If it was broken earlier, it's fixed now."

Silence drenched the room. Jade tip-toed down the steps to see the new person, but I motioned her back upstairs. Surprisingly, she went without complaint.

     "Or..." Leo's displeasure became direct. "Are you refusing because you have no intentions to pay her? You thought you could steal however many days of her effort with checks that won't work and excuses relying on her faith and good will?"
     "W-Why─?! I never!" Mrs. Glaze gasped.
     "How dare you accuse us of such terrible behavior?" Mr. Glaze snapped.
    "Then gladly prove me wrong and ensure Cinnamon is paid by getting her money from the ATM. Surely leaving her who you trust to watch Jade and your wife to tend to your daughter for three or four minutes is not an issue if your intentions are true? I'll leave the building too if my presence upsets you."
     "I will do no such thing!"
     "Mr. Glaze..." I mumbled, but he ignored me.
     "That's you proving my suspicions right. Well, Cinnamon will work for you no longer, and I can only hope you grow a conscience for whatever poor girl you choose to 'hire' next."
    "Good riddance! Misty and I were not wanting Cinnamon around anymore anyway! How she wears a color that's not hers, it's horrifying! We don't want our daughter around someone like that! Although, I should not blame here but blame you! You're clearly the bad influence, and how old are you even? You barely look college-aged let alone old enough to raise a child properly!"
     "Oh, if there's one thing I learned fostering, it's that age doesn't mean anything. People are terrible no matter how many years they have on them. Just look at you. You're the proper daddy age, and the example you're setting for your child is to lie and steal. You're telling her a person's worth is tied to how they like to dress themselves. That's far more terrible than the not terrible thing of Cinnamon wearing pink to remember her deceased mother."
     "You walk out right now, or I'm calling the cops!" Mr. Glaze jammed his finger in front of Leo's face.
     "And you're just proving me ever more right with each breath," Leo replied calmly, folding his arms.
     "You─!"
     "We're leaving! We're leaving!" I promised, jumping between the two. "Mr. and Mrs. Glaze, I'm glad you let me spend time with Jade. She's a really sweet girl, and I liked getting to play with her. If you could...could you just write a good review for me on the website? It won't take more than a minute, and it's completely free. It'll be really helpful in having others deciding to hire me. That's all I want to ask for. Okay?"

I didn't get a response. Mrs. Glaze left whining on how she needed to go check on Jade and make sure she was alright, and Mr. Glaze turned away demanding again that we leave. Leo prompted nothing further. He guided me out of the building with a hand on my back where I didn't know what to say and Leo said nothing until we were on the quiet road to the wharf.

     "Do you have that check for today's payment?"
     "Um, yeah."

He took it, inspected it closely, and held it up to the light.

     "The damn thing's fake," he glared. "It doesn't have the right marking and security details. They must have just gotten some paper real checks are made on to create the ones they gave you."
     "That's fraud though, right? Can't they get in trouble for that?"
     "If we press charges, but we can't do that. Not without exposing how we're living. It's one of the problems with the situation. There's little we can do to fight back." Leo sighed. "I'm sorry about them. They shouldn't have treated you like that."
    "It's okay. It hurts a little how he talked about me because they were nothing but nice and complimentary until that point, but...I mean, I can't call them out on their behavior when Pieter spent the weekend teaching me the same stuff they were doing. Lying and making excuses for our benefit."
     "There's a difference. I'm sure Pieter explained it at least in some manner. We give people the choice. We let them decide how much, if anything, they can spare, and we indeed don't press if the person feels they're in a situation where they need the money just as much too. Mr. and Mrs. Glaze, on the other hand, were draining every drop they could get of your time and effort leaving you high and dry in compensation."
     "It still doesn't feel that different to me." I shrugged. "I don't want to have to con people."
    "We'll find a better place for you then, okay? Don't worry about your rent for this week either. You're trying hard. That's good enough for now."
     "Okay..." I agreed softly.

I moped the rest of the afternoon, cuddling with Gravel while he made up a fantasy story where Mr. and Mr. Glaze were the evil villains who received righteous justice. It was good therapy. Anger did begin to settle in, but mostly sadness curled my heart like a chain. Not getting to see Jade anymore truly hurt the most. The next morning I explore the quieter roads for change and found two whole pennies. Jam followed having nothing else to do, and so the two of us went to the library after school got out. I wanted to check the babysitting website. While I doubted Mr. and Mrs. Glaze cared to follow through with my request, what I found shocked me motionless.

     "What!?" I gasped, horrified, not blinking.
     "What?" Jam wandered over.
     "They..." I numbly pointed to the screen. "That couple that scammed me. I asked them to just leave me a good review, because I did do good work."
     "That's a one star though," Jam noted dryly.
    "Yeah." I whispered. "They wrote that I ignored Jade, tried to teach her 'disturbed witch magic', insisted I was her sister, and got my violent foster father to demand additional payment. That's...no one's going to hire me now!"
     "Can't you write reviews for the parents? Can't you give them a single star and say how they're lying?"
     "I could, but who's going to believe me? I'm a poor girl living in foster care already too young for most parents to want who wears a color that isn't mine while Mr. and Mrs. Glaze are a richer couple following all of society's norms. That doesn't even get into the fact that most people aren't going to check their profile for my rebuttal anyway."
     "I'm sorry, Cinnamon. You can help me rake Mr. Macaron's yard when the leaves fall, if you want."
     "I..."

I had nothing to say.

Jam wanted to stay at the library longer to play some computer games. I, however, wanted to curl up in a nice, warm bed until the week was over. My feet shuffled me to the warehouse hoping one of the rooms was empty for me to get at least a small hint of privacy and quiet to deal with this new blow. Seeing Tulip and Cinnamon standing by the one unlocked door ruined that instantly.

     "Look, Cinny. It's the failed abortion walking by," Tulip taunted, Cinnamon giggling along impishly.

Especially today, my goal of how to get along with them died even harder.

     "At least my mother had a reason to not want me. You were from a normal pregnancy and had several years to make your mother love you. She didn't give a shit, hasn't given a shit, and, should you miraculously meet on the street, will abandon you again because she doesn't give a shit." I smiled widely. "I don't think I'm the pitiful one here."

Tulip's mouth dropped open as her cheeks burst with a darkened scald. I just kept walking until I was inside. She couldn't follow me inside without making a commotion and giving away her bullying.

However, despite my response I wasn't unaffected by her cruel words and their hurtful laughter. I sped as fast as I could to the corner room wishing no one was in there due to it being colder, but Gravel sat on the bed. At least with him when the tears pooled again he just opened his arms to take me in. We sat on the bed for the longest time with me drowning the room with crying and sniffles.

     "Do you really mean what you said?" I squeaked.
     "About what?"
    "About believing we'll find a place somewhere where we won't have to ask if we're lucky because we'll know we are? I don't think I can believe that at all. The lone thing I see is me stuck here forever in a meaningless life. Looking down that path, it makes me not want to exist! I can't handle the idea that there's nothing waiting."
     "No, no, no. Shhh," Gravel cooed, pulling me almost uncomfortably tight. "Don't think like that. You're far too young. I know. I know it's been hard. But, despite them being rough, it's only been a few months. Things will get easier. Things will get better. I promised I'd help too, right? Anything you need, I'm here for you. You're not in a meaningless life. You mean a lot to me."
     "Promise?"
     "Promise."

I couldn't say if his words made me feel better, but my crying did slow. I quieted enough, in fact, to where Gravel and I heard something of a fuss going on outside. Gravel peeked out the window.

     "What's going on?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.
     "It looks like the strap on Cinnamon's shoe broke, and Tulip fell down and scraped her knees. Bad luck. Huh. It must be really windy outside too. Their hair is blowing everywhere."
     "It wasn't that windy when I came in, but that's good to hear. Karma's getting them."
     "Have they been doing something wrong?" Gravel wondered.
     "Later," I sighed.