Desperation

It was strange having Eloril back after having him gone for a while. I hadn't realized when I sent my family away just how much I would miss them- even though I continued to believe my choice had been the best one. To have my brother back was incredibly comforting. Eloril's presence gave me the boost I so desperately needed in order to be able to go back to being on my own until his next visit. I was glad nana had been persistent about him still coming around. I had come to think that I knew pretty much all the answers and paths a situations could have, but in this case I was shown that there was still some thing about which nana knew best.

The one downer about Eloril's trip happened when we took a walk alongside the river. He had suggested we go closer to the water. I believed he merely wanted to enjoy the sounds of the quiet current, but the truth was that Eloril wanted to talk to me in an area more secluded. It was then that Eloril revealed to me how ada continued to be highly upset with me over me having banned him from visiting. Apparently, he had made a stance of not writing letters to me and not opening the letters I sent him in an attempt to persuade me to change my mind. As much as his decision hurt me, I knew they were because I had hurt him. However, I was adamant about not revoking my decision. I let Eloril know that. He had already figured that would be the case, and so he told me not to worry. He, nana, and I all understood it was impossible for ada to stay mad at me for long. We reasoned he wouldn't last a month before the guilt of ignoring his little Calenmir got to him and he was the one changing his mind.

Inferno

In a way, Celendel and Celenia began to remind me of Elrandra and Emethien. My youngest set of twins were getting older, but Celenia insisted on attaching herself to her brother. Their more refined walking and dexterity skills allowed her to climb on him in all sorts of new ways. It was highly amusing to watch. I was certain Celendel would finally tire of his sister's antics, but it seemed he continued to pay them no mind. In fact, I daresay he rather enjoyed being Celenia's climbing toy.

The Introduction

Winter transitioned smoothly into spring. The days steadily got warmer as the snow melted away to reveal the green grass underneath. Then the snowfall disappeared entirely as it was replaced by cold rain. I liked to stay inside when such rain was falling, but Gellrin and Erumaren enjoyed the change. They were outside playing in puddles more often than not. I would have been more annoyed at all the water and mud they would then track inside had it not been for the fact that they were indeed spending so much time outside. I would rather them get a little dirty than waste away their days in front of the television or something.

Delaying

Nana and Abriel began complaining again. At first, the whining I had had to deal with was about the other stealing the other's supplies. Now it was to me and about a lack of available space in the house to hang their paintings. They sold most of them, but the rest they wanted to keep. Of course, the two also wanted them to be on display. However, I had a large portion of works from my previous children that stretched back centuries. It was ridiculous to get a request like the one I got from Abriel. I was not going to put away the creations of my beloved deceased children just so she could hang another dot tree picture. I kept hearing complaints though. I had to threaten to take away one of the easels which would force them to share with the other to get them to stop. It was then decided by nana and Abriel that they would rent a storage shed together so that they could still keep the artwork they wanted to save. I had no idea why nana wanted to hold on to so much. Was she really planning on taking it all back with her when we returned home?

Nine Left

Nana and I were absolutely dumbfounded. We had both expected with complete certainty that Gellrin would take after her father. We were not prepared in the slightest for her to take so much after nana. Andethon had nana's hair and eyes, but Gellrin had the whole package- the hair, eye, and ears. It was also fairly clear Gellrin inherited more of my facial structure than she did Marty's. I was pleased. Nana was beside herself. Andethon, who had always been her not-so-secret secret favorite grandchild, began to get a bit jealous. Nana could hardly be separated from her new adored grandbaby. I, on the other hand, was more than willing to let them be together so much. Of course I did my fair share, but it was also nice to have more time than I had anticipated to do more of the things I actually wanted to do.

The Choice

It was hard to ignore the pressure I felt. Each day I found myself being pulled more and more towards going against what ada wanted. I tried as best as I could to think of every reason and excuse I could use to throw away what my own heart was telling me, but it was one of those things that would not be gotten rid of. It didn't help that I began to see more and more of Marty. Riverview was such a small place. We had kept running into each other and had ultimately become friends. He came around to the house a few times a week. All the children loved having him play video games with them seeing as I still wasn't interested in those things. I had hoped that our growing friendship would change Marty's mind about doing certain activities with me, but it was all too easy for me to catch those glances of desire he sent my way. They didn't disgust me. I was facing a situation similar to the one I faced in Sunset Valley where I had to wait to have children after we were forced into the small house. Though my intention wasn't to have children, I had gone on and slept with other men just because I missed the presence of that kind of intimacy. I was feeling that same kind of frustration now.

Indecisive

It was a fun few hours I spent at city hall, that's for sure. And by "fun", I mean it wasn't fun at all. I had to explain perhaps a dozen times why I needed to change Abrien's name, and I got stared at whenever I retold the story. The workers there simply couldn't wrap their heads around the fact that my mother and I had both been pregnant at the same time and that we had both gave our daughters the same name. They didn't believe me at first when I said how the names we were thinking about giving our children was something we never discussed. At the very least, they had no reason to deny me changing my daughter's name. Given that I was upset with the workers at city and hall and then with ada and nana for ruining my sentiment, I went right ahead and named my daughter directly after my grandmother. That is how Abrien became Abriel.

I had known the change was necessary the second I read my sister's name. Even calling the two Abriens by nicknames would have been confusing enough. There would have been many issues in the future regarding official paperwork when it would be seen that there were two Abrien Ithienniths born close together in the same house. Changing my Abrien's name would save all of us so much headache. I knew I could have waited until ada and nana returned with their Abrien before making the decision, but if one of our daughter's names had to be altered then I knew it had to be mine. Abrien had been born first, and I felt like ada had more right to her name given that his mother obviously played a greater role in his life than she did mine. I never even met her.

It was hard remembering to call Abriel "Abriel" in the first several days after she was rewarded her new identity, but then I grew so used to it that I began to forgot it had ever been something different.