A sigh went around the table as Sunflower pulled out one of her favorite responses for our game of 'Never Have I Ever' we were playing. The rest of us hated it seeing as how she used it each time without fail, and it got all four of us to instantly drop a finger.
"I feel like you just like rubbing it in- you never having gotten a cavity before." Allium pouted.
He was now tied for last pace with Amaranth. They each had one finger in the game. Unluckily for Amaranth, it was Allium's turn next. Allium could easily get him out if he thought of something good. It wasn't too difficult for any of us to know exactly what to say to screw over everyone else. We knew each other too well. Here we sat around the dining room table in my parents' house that now belonged to my sister just like we had in the old days. I was house sitting while she and her family were off on vacation. Why Ice couldn't understand why I hadn't wanted the house permanently was beyond me. Everyone else in my family thought nothing of the days when it was down in the single digits and we still had to get on our boat to get off our little island. Doing grocery shopping, getting new furniture on and old furniture off, needing to go to work or school when it was storming with thunder and lightning galore...how could it be anything else but a major pain in the ass?
Smiling as Sunflower and Allium bantered back and forth over my wife's choice of statement for the game, I smacked myself mentally when I glanced to my right. An old habit of mine, I wished it would go away. It used to be that the person we usually were missing was Sunset- what with her living on the other side of the country. Well, now she was here for a visit, but a seat still remained unoccupied at the table. Despite the years that had passed, my chest forever twinged with a dull ache at how that chair to my right would always be empty. That pain had been there too when Amaranth had been missing, but I had hoped no matter how much it hurt to hope that he would return. And he had returned. However, in what felt like the blink of an eye Ethereal had passed away. There was no hope to be had this time around. The pain would be there until it was my turn to join her. That's why I wished to stop looking where she used to sit. Each and every time my damn stupid mind instinctively turned my head so I could say something to her, I was reminded that she was gone for good. No longer did I have a partner to join me in annoying the others with our superior intellect. I didn't have my companion to look for comfort in when we both lost horribly at poker. The subtle hand signals we created to help the other cheat in various games were now being forgotten in my head.
I got too lost in my head thinking of things I didn't want to remember at the moment. It had entirely escaped my notice that Sunflower and Allium had moved beyond Allium complaining to Sunflower complaining about Allium not being able to think of something to say for his turn. Allium didn't want to say something boring and tried that he'd said a dozen times, but with him being hounded for an answer nothing new was coming to him. He finally answered after a minute passed and Sunset told him to 'just say anything.'
"Fine. How about this? Never have I ever killed someone," Allium shrugged in mild, though still slightly entertained, exasperation, "Happy?"
"It'll do, I suppose," Sunset teased, "You could have come up with something more extreme than that though."
"You just don't want me to be at peace, do you?"
"Nope." Sunflower smirked brightly.
Sunset joined the continuing bantering that seemed like it would always occur between each round. The game proceeded slowly because we had too much fun making fun of one another. No one even thought to pay attention to who might have put down a finger, but, then again...why would we? Killing someone, of course none of us had done something like that.
Then...then I realized Amaranth had taken his hands off the table. I naturally thought at first that he was just relaxing for a moment like we all did during the talking. Yet even when Sunset started to think of a statement for her turn, even then he kept his hands down. Curious about his abrupt withdrawal from the game, Amaranth's gaze eventually met mine. I didn't need to ask the question running around in my mind. He read my look and gave me a 'You're correct' kind of stare in response, which, obviously, did nothing to clear my confusion. My expression of puzzlement merely grew deeper. How could Amaranth be saying he hadn't made a mistake in taking his last finger out of the game? By doing that, he was confirming that he had in fact taken a life. Perhaps he meant it as a joke? He had to.
"What's with those looks you two are giving each other?" Sunflower spoke up teasingly, "Having some kind of secret lovers' quarrel over there?"
"It's nothing." I attempted to brush it all off, but my expression didn't want to cooperate.
"Doesn't look like nothing." Sunset prodded with extreme interest.
"It's nothing." I repeated with more conviction.
"He's just confused because I lost my last finger in the game with Al's statement."
Amaranth said it so nonchalantly. As if it was a simple matter from which one could quickly move on. As if it should be common knowledge. I wondered for a moment if it was. Could there be something that everyone else knew that I had missed? Was there a secret that had accidentally not been passed on to me? Naturally, that wasn't the case at all. Everyone else looked at Amaranth with slightly ponderous stares as they did their best to make sense of his words.
"Killing someone in a video game doesn't count," Sunset pressed forward in a lighthearted, jovially manner, "Nor does killing someone with your wit."
"I'm aware," Amaranth responded back likewise, smiling somehow despite the severity of what he was revealing, "I took Allium's statement exactly as he meant it."
"Okay, so, wait. You're trying to tell us that you've taken someone's life. A real, actual person is dead because of you?" Sunflower put it in simple terms, her tone anticipating the joke to be dropped soon.
After a brief second of glancing around at us all, Amaranth's smile vanished and he sighed lightly.
"Yes." he answered without any more hesitation.
"I'm...I'm sorry, I just can't wrap my head around this," Sunflower now frowned in soft, dumbfounded exasperation, "Did, did you cause some sort of accident that hurt someone else? Was it something like that, and was it just too hard to tell us?"
"There was a period of ten years that passed that he has told us next to nothing about. A time period in which he got that nasty scar on his face." Allium pointed out with a seriousness almost never seen on his face.
"No, it happened way before then." Amaranth shrugged.
The mood had shifted drastically in a matter of seconds. Sunflower, Sunset, and I looked around uncertainly at everyone else. Allium, he never took his stare off Amaranth. Amaranth looked around himself before sighing again.
"I didn't mean to drag this up, but I really don't want to lie. It's been long enough that I believe it's fine to tell you all the truth. You're my best friends. Of course though, none of what I'm about to say is to be spoken to anyone else outside this room."
His words were ominous, yet Amaranth kept speaking so matter-of-factly. His determination unnerved me.
"I have to start by apologizing. I've been lying pretty much my whole life. I knew about 'Meadow' being Ethereal years before we met her in person. The 'friends' Eden said he met that helped her escape and helped to hide her, Blaze was a part of that group. He accidentally left some of his secret stuff out that I happened upon, and that led to me getting involved. Blaze tasked me with sticking by Ethereal to make sure she didn't raise suspicion and to teach her how to live a normal life. Ethereal had no idea that Blaze or I knew about her until right before she was abducted after graduation. Eden didn't want her to know."
Amaranth paused for a brief second, in which nothing but dead silence filled the air.
"Knowing we could possibly face dangerous people, Blaze secretly taught me things that would be useful. Combat fighting, stealth, how to shoot a gun, emergency medical application- those sorts of things. When Jac contacted our group, I joined right along in storming the compound where Ethereal was being kept. The plan we intended went wrong, so we were forced to enter by force. That resulted in a gun fight. I found Ethereal inside, and we were close to the entrance. Two people then showed up...Blaze and an asshole named Stratus. Stratus, Ethereal later told me, was one of the guards assigned to watch over her. He was violent, quick to anger, and cold-hearted. He hurt and abused Ethereal in terrible ways, and when he was about to shoot at her and Blaze I had only one way to stop him. I put a hole in his head."
Strangely, relief filled my chest as much as it could given the situation. What Amaranth described was exactly how I imagined him to be. He was a protector. It shocked my head silly to learn so much in hardly a minute, but I couldn't blame my friend. If I had been in his position, I doubt my choices in terms of my actions and making sure the truth stayed silent would have been any different. Allium clearly thought something similar.
"I have to thank you then," he pierced the quiet with his genuine appreciation, "You did exactly as you should have done. I remember how terrible it was back in those days when we thought Ethereal might be gone for good, and you did everything you could to bring her back."
"I really did lie to you a lot though. I had to act as if I knew nothing when you were desperately searching for answers." Amaranth pressed in a way that left me unsure if we was looking to be reprimanded.
"Honestly, Am, I don't give a shit. It's not like you were lying to hurt us. You weren't doing something bad. You were doing it to protect someone we all cared about. It's no secret to any one of us here that there is always going to be some small part of me that is in love with Ethereal even though we weren't meant to work out," Allium replied vigorously, "Even Lia knows that. I can still hardly deal with the fact that Ethereal is dead now, but at least she got to live the life she wanted. You helped make that happen. You lying, you killing...it gave Ethereal a chance. So, yes, I am going to thank you. I also have to say that while your news is definitely surprising, it's not surprising either. I've figured all this time you at least knew something more."
"Me too," Sunflower chimed in, "I had no idea you were involved since the start, of course, but I thought Ethereal told you every secret the rest of us didn't know. I don't care that you were being hush about it either."
"Thanks," Amaranth accepted their feelings with a quiet though earnest mumble, "It makes me feel better. I also realize I kinda spat everything out quickly, so if you have questions I'll answer them better."
"You said this Stratus guy hurt Ethereal. What did he do?" Sunset asked, worried, and that worry got worse when Amaranth shook his head to signify he wouldn't reveal that truth, "Was she alright?"
"She was fine. Stratus did terrible things, but she was able to work through it with honestly scarily little help. Ethereal was quite strong." Amaranth explained with a gentle pride.
"That she was," I agreed, standing up and smiling as I chose to think on all the years of good memories, "I do have more questions for you, Am, and I would like to hear a more thorough explanation. I'm also kind of hungry though. Does anyone want some chips?"
"Really, Frost? 'Does anyone want some chips?' You're asking that in a moment like this?" Allium gave me a look.
Letting enough of a pause pass to make me uncertain, Allium's lips broke into a grin and he laughed.
"Of course we do."
Smiling as Sunflower and Allium bantered back and forth over my wife's choice of statement for the game, I smacked myself mentally when I glanced to my right. An old habit of mine, I wished it would go away. It used to be that the person we usually were missing was Sunset- what with her living on the other side of the country. Well, now she was here for a visit, but a seat still remained unoccupied at the table. Despite the years that had passed, my chest forever twinged with a dull ache at how that chair to my right would always be empty. That pain had been there too when Amaranth had been missing, but I had hoped no matter how much it hurt to hope that he would return. And he had returned. However, in what felt like the blink of an eye Ethereal had passed away. There was no hope to be had this time around. The pain would be there until it was my turn to join her. That's why I wished to stop looking where she used to sit. Each and every time my damn stupid mind instinctively turned my head so I could say something to her, I was reminded that she was gone for good. No longer did I have a partner to join me in annoying the others with our superior intellect. I didn't have my companion to look for comfort in when we both lost horribly at poker. The subtle hand signals we created to help the other cheat in various games were now being forgotten in my head.
I got too lost in my head thinking of things I didn't want to remember at the moment. It had entirely escaped my notice that Sunflower and Allium had moved beyond Allium complaining to Sunflower complaining about Allium not being able to think of something to say for his turn. Allium didn't want to say something boring and tried that he'd said a dozen times, but with him being hounded for an answer nothing new was coming to him. He finally answered after a minute passed and Sunset told him to 'just say anything.'
"Fine. How about this? Never have I ever killed someone," Allium shrugged in mild, though still slightly entertained, exasperation, "Happy?"
"It'll do, I suppose," Sunset teased, "You could have come up with something more extreme than that though."
"You just don't want me to be at peace, do you?"
"Nope." Sunflower smirked brightly.
Sunset joined the continuing bantering that seemed like it would always occur between each round. The game proceeded slowly because we had too much fun making fun of one another. No one even thought to pay attention to who might have put down a finger, but, then again...why would we? Killing someone, of course none of us had done something like that.
Then...then I realized Amaranth had taken his hands off the table. I naturally thought at first that he was just relaxing for a moment like we all did during the talking. Yet even when Sunset started to think of a statement for her turn, even then he kept his hands down. Curious about his abrupt withdrawal from the game, Amaranth's gaze eventually met mine. I didn't need to ask the question running around in my mind. He read my look and gave me a 'You're correct' kind of stare in response, which, obviously, did nothing to clear my confusion. My expression of puzzlement merely grew deeper. How could Amaranth be saying he hadn't made a mistake in taking his last finger out of the game? By doing that, he was confirming that he had in fact taken a life. Perhaps he meant it as a joke? He had to.
"What's with those looks you two are giving each other?" Sunflower spoke up teasingly, "Having some kind of secret lovers' quarrel over there?"
"It's nothing." I attempted to brush it all off, but my expression didn't want to cooperate.
"Doesn't look like nothing." Sunset prodded with extreme interest.
"It's nothing." I repeated with more conviction.
"He's just confused because I lost my last finger in the game with Al's statement."
Amaranth said it so nonchalantly. As if it was a simple matter from which one could quickly move on. As if it should be common knowledge. I wondered for a moment if it was. Could there be something that everyone else knew that I had missed? Was there a secret that had accidentally not been passed on to me? Naturally, that wasn't the case at all. Everyone else looked at Amaranth with slightly ponderous stares as they did their best to make sense of his words.
"Killing someone in a video game doesn't count," Sunset pressed forward in a lighthearted, jovially manner, "Nor does killing someone with your wit."
"I'm aware," Amaranth responded back likewise, smiling somehow despite the severity of what he was revealing, "I took Allium's statement exactly as he meant it."
"Okay, so, wait. You're trying to tell us that you've taken someone's life. A real, actual person is dead because of you?" Sunflower put it in simple terms, her tone anticipating the joke to be dropped soon.
After a brief second of glancing around at us all, Amaranth's smile vanished and he sighed lightly.
"Yes." he answered without any more hesitation.
"I'm...I'm sorry, I just can't wrap my head around this," Sunflower now frowned in soft, dumbfounded exasperation, "Did, did you cause some sort of accident that hurt someone else? Was it something like that, and was it just too hard to tell us?"
"There was a period of ten years that passed that he has told us next to nothing about. A time period in which he got that nasty scar on his face." Allium pointed out with a seriousness almost never seen on his face.
"No, it happened way before then." Amaranth shrugged.
The mood had shifted drastically in a matter of seconds. Sunflower, Sunset, and I looked around uncertainly at everyone else. Allium, he never took his stare off Amaranth. Amaranth looked around himself before sighing again.
"I didn't mean to drag this up, but I really don't want to lie. It's been long enough that I believe it's fine to tell you all the truth. You're my best friends. Of course though, none of what I'm about to say is to be spoken to anyone else outside this room."
His words were ominous, yet Amaranth kept speaking so matter-of-factly. His determination unnerved me.
"I have to start by apologizing. I've been lying pretty much my whole life. I knew about 'Meadow' being Ethereal years before we met her in person. The 'friends' Eden said he met that helped her escape and helped to hide her, Blaze was a part of that group. He accidentally left some of his secret stuff out that I happened upon, and that led to me getting involved. Blaze tasked me with sticking by Ethereal to make sure she didn't raise suspicion and to teach her how to live a normal life. Ethereal had no idea that Blaze or I knew about her until right before she was abducted after graduation. Eden didn't want her to know."
Amaranth paused for a brief second, in which nothing but dead silence filled the air.
"Knowing we could possibly face dangerous people, Blaze secretly taught me things that would be useful. Combat fighting, stealth, how to shoot a gun, emergency medical application- those sorts of things. When Jac contacted our group, I joined right along in storming the compound where Ethereal was being kept. The plan we intended went wrong, so we were forced to enter by force. That resulted in a gun fight. I found Ethereal inside, and we were close to the entrance. Two people then showed up...Blaze and an asshole named Stratus. Stratus, Ethereal later told me, was one of the guards assigned to watch over her. He was violent, quick to anger, and cold-hearted. He hurt and abused Ethereal in terrible ways, and when he was about to shoot at her and Blaze I had only one way to stop him. I put a hole in his head."
Strangely, relief filled my chest as much as it could given the situation. What Amaranth described was exactly how I imagined him to be. He was a protector. It shocked my head silly to learn so much in hardly a minute, but I couldn't blame my friend. If I had been in his position, I doubt my choices in terms of my actions and making sure the truth stayed silent would have been any different. Allium clearly thought something similar.
"I have to thank you then," he pierced the quiet with his genuine appreciation, "You did exactly as you should have done. I remember how terrible it was back in those days when we thought Ethereal might be gone for good, and you did everything you could to bring her back."
"I really did lie to you a lot though. I had to act as if I knew nothing when you were desperately searching for answers." Amaranth pressed in a way that left me unsure if we was looking to be reprimanded.
"Honestly, Am, I don't give a shit. It's not like you were lying to hurt us. You weren't doing something bad. You were doing it to protect someone we all cared about. It's no secret to any one of us here that there is always going to be some small part of me that is in love with Ethereal even though we weren't meant to work out," Allium replied vigorously, "Even Lia knows that. I can still hardly deal with the fact that Ethereal is dead now, but at least she got to live the life she wanted. You helped make that happen. You lying, you killing...it gave Ethereal a chance. So, yes, I am going to thank you. I also have to say that while your news is definitely surprising, it's not surprising either. I've figured all this time you at least knew something more."
"Me too," Sunflower chimed in, "I had no idea you were involved since the start, of course, but I thought Ethereal told you every secret the rest of us didn't know. I don't care that you were being hush about it either."
"Thanks," Amaranth accepted their feelings with a quiet though earnest mumble, "It makes me feel better. I also realize I kinda spat everything out quickly, so if you have questions I'll answer them better."
"You said this Stratus guy hurt Ethereal. What did he do?" Sunset asked, worried, and that worry got worse when Amaranth shook his head to signify he wouldn't reveal that truth, "Was she alright?"
"She was fine. Stratus did terrible things, but she was able to work through it with honestly scarily little help. Ethereal was quite strong." Amaranth explained with a gentle pride.
"That she was," I agreed, standing up and smiling as I chose to think on all the years of good memories, "I do have more questions for you, Am, and I would like to hear a more thorough explanation. I'm also kind of hungry though. Does anyone want some chips?"
"Really, Frost? 'Does anyone want some chips?' You're asking that in a moment like this?" Allium gave me a look.
Letting enough of a pause pass to make me uncertain, Allium's lips broke into a grin and he laughed.
"Of course we do."
Ugh, feels!
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