The Search

I should have known.

I should have known something was wrong when Ellothiel didn't come back by her normal time. While it might be that she rarely eats anything anymore, she at least manages to find her way back here by lunch. However, noon came and went with no sign of her. I was too stupid to notice until I started clearing up the plates. It's just been so hard keeping my thoughts straight and coherent lately.

The grief lingering in my heart is quite unlike what I felt the last time I was here. I met Elrunamir and Ureliel when they were already so far along in their lives. Their passing hurt of course, but that pain was nothing like what struck my chest when I saw the lifeless body of the little girl I'd helped teach to walk and talk limp in Garthon's arms. There's no wiping the memory of her blood soaked face out of my memory.

Then there is Ellothiel. I have no choice but to watch her grow paler, grow weaker every day. Last time I was able to comfort her. This time there's no way I ever could. As badly as I want to ignore the truth, the truth is that it's now Ellothiel's decision alone whether she will live or not- and I fear she's leaning towards not.

That's why as soon as I shoved the dishes into the dishwasher, I sought out ada.  He had just placed Elioviel down for a nap. We left her in Garthon and Rieldir's care while we took Zuri and rushed to the cemetery. Our horrors were confirmed when Ellothiel was nowhere to be found. We hadn't run into her making her way back home either. Ada and I went to Cirabel's grave to see if we could find some clue as to where Ellothiel might have gone. I merely had to stare at the ground for a few seconds to find footprints.

Her footprints. Yet if she was well, there would have been none to find at all. Now her burdened heart is making her body burdened as well. Ada worked with Zuri hoping our tracker-in-training might be able to get a hold of my sister's trail. Ada told me to leave this area to him while I was to go and take a look around town.

I searched every corner of Aurora Skies. I tried Bradley's house first since he's now the only one Ellothiel will even really talk to. He knew nothing of where she was or where she would be, but told me he would keep an eye out for her. That was the same response I had from the rest of Ellothiel's children whom I visited. Some were free and helped join me in looking, but I knew for the most part there was little point going to them. Ellothiel has put so much distance between herself and her children. It's absolutely heartbreaking for what she's doing only hurts everyone and makes this whole awful situation that much worse.

The hours passed, and as expected, I made absolutely no results. When I had nowhere else to look, I kept running back between the house and Ellothiel's favorite beach. I probably wore down the sidewalk going there so many times. If Ellothiel was still in town, that beach is the only place I can imagine her going to.

It wasn't until after the sun set when ada and I finally found a clue. Or I should say Zuri found it. There's was barely a scent to discovered, but somehow Zuri caught onto to Ellothiel's scent and took us up to the top of the cliffs overlooking the town. At first I was terrified we would discover that Ellothiel had jumped. Then Zuri's sniffing revealed Ellothiel had kept walking- away from the cliffs and away from Aurora Skies.

She had really left then. It was such a terrible sign, and one I hoped we wouldn't find. Ada and I both knew we had little time left to search before she falls into her grief, if she hasn't already. The weight and intensity of the situation settled into our hearts. In a whisper, ada told me when he had tried to comfort Ellothiel she had pushed him away and told him he couldn't understand the pain of losing a child young. He couldn't even understand the pain of losing a child at all.

Ada said he was determined to never know that pain. Zuri still had my sister's trail and the search needed to go on, but someone also needed to stay with Garthon, Rieldir, and Elioviel. I knew how to handle the bills and all the other legalities necessary for a family to function on this side of the wall. The children responded to me much more than they did to him. I made ada stop trying to convince me. I already knew if one of us had to stay, then that one would be me.

Ada tried to give me an encouraging smile. He didn't know how long the search was going to take. It could be hours, days, or even weeks. I shook my head. There was no way Ellothiel was going to last for more than a few days.

Ada wouldn't let me give up hope so easily. He believed that perhaps getting away from Aurora Skies and the triggers of Ellothiel's pain might actually give her enough strength to return, or at least she could clear her head and rebuild her heart somewhat to find the will to keep living. I wanted to believe him, but there was so much working against his words. I felt so horrible I couldn't even look up from the ground. I was so hurt. I was so tired physically and emotionally that in that moment I wanted to just collapse right there and lay against the ground.

Ada held me up, and stared at me until I finally met his eyes. He promised me that if I could keep the family together here, then he would bring my sister back. The family that should be would be real once more. I felt like a child again being encouraged in such a manner. I did then what a child would do and trusted in my ada. He's never broken a promise to me before.

Garthon and Rieldir were upstairs in their rooms when I returned. They've been keeping to themselves ever since the incident, and especially since Ellothiel began ignoring them. I've tried to do what I can, but it's not me they want or need. They need their mother. Sweet little Elioviel needs her too. She's cried every night for her nana. She can't understand why the person she loves the most in the world has pretty much abandoned her.

Elioviel was playing happily though when I found her. She smiled so widely and reached out her arms for me to pick her up. Eli is the only one among us who is still able to smile and have it be genuine. It didn't take long for her to grow irritable though. Garthon and Rieldir had fed and changed her, but they hadn't put her to bed at the time she should have been. She fell asleep in my arms as soon as I put her into her pajamas.

However, it seemed as if the world thought the day hadn't gone badly enough. Though it was not as if I would be able to sleep that night, some fuiacaul thief decided our house would be the best one to break into. I didn't even have to wait for the alarm to go off. In my restlessness, I was already wandering about the rooms and spotted her sneaking about.

I almost feel bad for how hard I hit that woman as we fought. Unlike previous thieves that have come, this one had weapons on her. I would do anything to protect my nephews and niece, especially given all that has happened, but the injuries I inflicted on the thief were perhaps a bit too grievous to pass off as mere self-defense. Thankfully the police didn't press me too much when they came to collect her.

Unfortunately, my actions didn't give a great example and my anger fueled Garthon and Rieldir's own fury. It was shortly after school got out for the day when I received a call from the high school principal. Garthon and Rieldir had gotten into a huge fist fight on school grounds, very much against the school's policies. When I went down to the office to talk with the principal, I convinced him as best I could to not suspend the boys. I explained how their younger sister had just recently died and now their mother had gone missing despite how speaking the words of what happened aloud made my chest painfully hollow.

The principal became very sympathetic and forgiving, and decided to give Garthon and Rieldir only one day of detention. It is almost ridiculous how that decision turned out to be the best piece of news I would come to hear all week.

Garthon and Rieldir were completely silent as we walked back home, but they started their fighting again as soon as we stepped through the door. There seemed to be little I could do to stop them. Then I finally caught wind of the words that had started the entire thing. Naturally, the two are devastated over Cirabel's death as well as Ellothiel's actions and now her leaving possibly forever. However, Rieldir tried to blame all of that on Garthon. If he had just watched over Cirabel better, none of the bad things would have happened. Garthon retorted by arguing that Rieldir should have been home helping out instead of playing video games with his friends.

I managed to sit down both boys separately and talk to them. I tried to be as earnest as I could when I told them what had happened can never be anyone's fault. They just happen. Cirabel would be crying right now if she saw the way the two of them were fighting. Things are hard at the moment, but they can get better if we all don't lose sight of one another and remember we're still a family.

Garthon and Rieldir stopped their fighting after our talks, but they replaced anger with complete silence. So far, I'm doing a rather poor job of doing what ada asked me to do.

The situation didn't really get better over the next week. Yes, week. Seven whole days passed, and there remained no word from ada. I'm trying my best to be optimistic. I like to think Ellothiel is moving and seeing so many places that she's making it difficult for ada to track her. That, or maybe Ellothiel has decided to come home on her own and the two passed each other by without realizing it.

Nevertheless, my mood has continued to be poor. I sat outside after dinner one night in hopes that the warm summer breeze would lift my spirits. My thoughts drifted back to the times when I was a child and Ellothiel an even younger child. I still remember vividly the days where we had no worries other than deciding whose choice of game we should play first. How could my child self ever comprehend that this future was the one the Goddess had in store?

I was so lost in thought that it took me a while to realize the sparkling light that was steadily moving in my direction. When I did look up, I thought was was before me was a dream. There was a unicorn right in front of me in the yard. It came from absolutely nowhere. Ellothiel told me of a time when Celadra met a unicorn on the outskirts of town, but I cannot believe one has come to such a populated area. I could do nothing other than watch it in stunned amazement.

Yet what happened afterwards was even more amazing. At first I thought the unicorn letting me approach it and even pet it was a story I would be able to brag about. The next thing that occurred is something I've never heard happen before though. Without warning, the unicorn's horn and eyes began to glow with an entrancing white light. Glowing orbs of light danced from unicorn to surround me and lift me in the air. I must admit, my mind ran blank and I cannot recall if I remembered to breathe during that moment. It was when I was placed safely back on the ground that I realized the unicorn had blessed me.

It departed before I could even break out of my stupor. I was left to ponder the meaning of this encounter after I finally did come back to my senses. Unicorns are a sign of good things to come. You can find no other better omen of good luck. Legend has it they also appear to those with broken and hurting hearts to help heal them. I wonder if all the negativity surrounding the house and us is what drew this unicorn here.

Whether my meeting with the creature was a meeting of a predetermined fate or mere coincidence, it gave me true hope anew. Somehow I had gained unwavering confidence that everything would be alright in the end.

With my mind cleared, the truth that I needed to stop letting every one of us wallow so much was brought to light. There must be grieving in order to heal, yes, but if we want life to be normal again then we must make life as normal as possible. That means no more shutting ourselves in our rooms all day. It means that we need to open our eyes to the blessing still laid before us waiting for us to grab onto them.

Garthon and Rieldir were resistant to my new attitude, but when we began doing again the activities we once loved doing they turned around. Life returned to their eyes, and the anger vanished. We were able to celebrate this country's birthday with crackling sparklers and bright smiles.

The day after the two week mark of ada and Ellothiel's departure came, and it was a couple hours after Garthon and Rieldir left for school when my phone rang. My mind went blank and I became momentarily frozen when Ellothiel's cell phone number appeared on the screen of mine. I then answered that call faster than I have any other. I called Ellothiel's name.

However, the person on the other side was not my sister. It was ada. He revealed that he had found Ellothiel. I held my breathe because he paused. Either way the next words out of his mouth would be big news, for ada had not said whether he had found Ellothiel alive or had found her not......