Ironic

We found ada about to leave to jump onto a plane when we returned home to Riverview. In our joy over my memories having returned, Eloril and I might have stupidly decided not to answer ada's phone calls so that we could surprise everyone when we came back instead of telling him them. We weren't really thinking of how much he would worry. He, and nana as well, had known that we had gone to Aurora Skies last. Our sudden silence coupled with the fact that we returned home a day late because of our unplanned detour to Twinbrook to personally tell Elemir the good news must have made the two of them think something terrible had happened after we went to visit Cirabel. He and nana were understandably angry, but that anger was rapidly forgotten when they learned that the plan had worked. Ada picked me up and spun me around until I grew dizzy. Nana was smiling with happiness, and Eloril was laughing his head off at the whole thing. Even more than having my memories back, the four of us being together like that was the final piece that made everything feel right again. It had been many centuries since we had been able to gather together and share true joy. It had been hard to leave Twinbrook a second time now that I could remember it, but the chance to have ada and Eloril visit far more often was too tempting to deny. Besides, there was still a ridiculous amount of reporters left trying to get the final scoop on my kidnapping story. Moving on had been the correct choice indeed.

Thoronton and Andethon were the only children home when Eloril and I returned. Ada and nana had sent Ranna, Aewen, Alcarien, Delerith, and Delindir out to play to keep them from panicking too much about our delay. I began to feel guilty despite my parents' reassurance for it only struck me right before the children came home that the pain of me being missing was still very close to their hearts. To have had all contact with both Eloril and me stop without explanation, it must have frightened them terribly. If the older children had been frightened, it disappeared the second they saw me though. Not knowing that I was back in my entirety, my exuberant joy might have perplexed them a little. I know it perplexed Aewen. She had been the first to reach me. The next thing she knew I was spinning her around. She enjoyed herself, and the others got a great kick out of it as well. I was able to properly relay the news to them when I calmed down. Ranna started crying, which made me start crying. I wasn't able to move for several minutes as my children barricaded me by choosing to hug me all at once.

The only thing that put a damper on our moods was that ada and Eloril really did have to go back to the elven lands. Those whom ada had left in charge in his absence were capable enough, but only he and nana had the thousands of years of experience it required to truly keep our part of the lands from falling apart. There were a few problems beginning to grow, so ada and Eloril couldn't stay for much longer. They decided to give it one more week. The eleven of us spent as much time as we could together. Unfortunately, I began to realize why Riverview wasn't the most appealing place to visit or move to. So much of the town was dedicated to the farms. There was little in the way of entertainment. I had thought Twinbrook was a quiet town, but Riverview was even more the definition of one. As such, we ended up doing the things we did enjoy over and over again. I bought a family pack of passes to the local pool seeing as we were going there everyday.  It was amusing how we almost took the place over. Our family was definitely on the more populated end of the spectrum.

And I had a long talk with ada about populating it further. It was a required discussion. I had my memories back. I had nana around to help. I couldn't push aside thinking about the task for too much longer. To my surprise, ada had been making plans for a while now. Well, he had been coming up with a solution he thought was best for me. I wasn't so sure of it, but he surprisingly never gave me a chance to state my own opinion on the matter.

He had learned about artificial insemination and said that was how I supposed to conceive the rest of my children. I wasn't going to take chances using random men anymore. It was far too dangerous. Before I could open my mouth to voice my hesitation, ada went on sort of a rant of apologies. He wished he had been thinking more properly when the order was given instead of letting the shock take hold of him. Ada was sorry for not seeing me off, for not sending someone with me, and for not doing more research about the human side of the world before basically exiling me. It was clear from his words that he would have had me use artificial insemination every single time had he known of it and had he had his way. Ada apologized for not having been able to stop me from giving away my purity when it should have been entirely possible to prevent it.

I got him to finally pause when I place my hands on my hips and almost glared at him. If he was going to go on about how I had lost my purity, what had that whole noble speech back in Aurora Skies about him still considering me pure been about? That led ada to another apology. He had meant everything he had said then. He then said, "'Purity' in this case means...", and that was where he trailed off. Just as Eloril had been too embarrassed to say the word 'sex', ada was too embarrassed to say the word 'virginity.' I suppose I had been assuming before since he and my brother had grown so used to living amongst the humans that they were comfortable talking about all matters like I was. I was shown that that wasn't the case. They both still saw me having had to sleep with men as a bad thing, whereas I had actually gotten used to looking forward to those moments. I was more of the mindset that if I had to be inconvenienced for nine months then I at least wanted to get some enjoyment in first.

I chose to let that part of the discussion drop as I knew it wasn't going to lead anywhere productive. I then shocked ada by revealing that I wanted to conceive soon. He tried to persuade me against the idea. Thoronton and Andethon were still so young. I could easily afford to wait some more. I shook my head. I needed more than anything else to get back into the swing of things. If I didn't pick my job back up now, it would only grow harder as the months went by. Besides, we were facing a situation like we faced when Elrelas, Henduil, Silmalad, and Alyan were starting to grow older. The house might be crowded at the moment, but it wouldn't be too long before it wasn't crowded. Ranna was growing to graduate soon. Aewen and Alcarien would be getting older as well, and Delerith and Delindir wouldn't be too far behind. Both sets of twins would leave around the same time too. That would leave me and nana with just Thoronton and Andethon, which wouldn't be an ideal situation. Ada came around to my idea after hearing that, and actually escorted me to the hospital several days later so I could have the procedure done.

Before ada and Eloril left, they got to experience the event that proved that our lives were truly beginning to move on normally again. My Thoronton had grown up some again. He was quickly shown to be a calm but cheerful child. He wasn't fond of going out to the parks with Delerith and Delindir to play with the other children seeing as he remained rather shy, but he went anyway since he was very attached to Delindir.

It was bittersweet when the day came where it was time to say goodbye to ada and Eloril. It was hard to watch them leave because I loved having them around all the time, but I knew they would be coming back soon. The two were going to spend two months or so getting back into the role of watching over our land. Since nana was going to remain with me, Eloril would be taking on more influence than he had had before. All of us thought it was more than time for him to do so though. Anyway, after everything calmed down we would see ada return for a quick visit. Then it would be Eloril's turn two weeks later. Ada would return two weeks after that. That was the schedule we all agreed on. However, with the way ada and nana didn't want to let go of each other you would think they were never going to see each other again.

Although, I don't really have the right to talk. I certainly had a hard time letting go of Eloril when we shared one last hug before he and ada left in a taxi. Our trip had brought us even close together- if that was possible. I was still uncertain and perhaps a bit fearful of how the rest of my time with the task would pan out, and Eloril made me feel safe. Nana had to gently pull me away from him. Even though my memories had returned, the little child lingered in the shadows. It was hard controlling her when she wanted to be stubborn and selfish. I let Eloril go though, and he and ada were soon on their way home.

I thought I was feeling rather down having them gone, but it seemed nana was struggling much more than I. At least, that was what I thought at first. About a month later, I noticed her acting peculiarly while she was taking care of Andethon by herself. She had no idea I was sneakily peeking into the room. Nana appeared stressed, and she kept sighing and holding her head. I wondered if she was tired, but I doubted that was the case as there was surprisingly little work for either of us to do. That was when I considered the idea that ada's departure was affecting her. It was curious why that would be the reason since she had been cheerful up until recently. She remained cheerful as long as someone else was around as well. It was only when she was alone that I spotted her looking worried and hesitant.

The older children were hanging out with the friends they had made since we had moved. Nana was taking care of Andethon again. She had grown very attached to him, no doubt because of how much he took after her. I had wanted him and her to come out on a walk with me, but she requested to play with him at home. I left by myself. I ended up at the small park at the front of the theater. I wasn't thinking of anything when I introduced myself to the man who had been glancing at me from the side of his eyes. I had grown used to the strange looks and had found others' interest in me being an elf a great conversation starter. I only just realized before the man's wife and toddler son showed up that I was falling too easily back into my old routine. I had been using the same subtle lines and body movements that I found effective when trying to convince a man to come back home with me so I could continue to the task. I quickly stopped when I noticed it. Though I was unsure if I would really go along with ada's idea, Silas' actions were still too near. I wasn't ready to trust a strange man again. I probably wouldn't ever go that route again at all.

Instead of focusing on men, I focused on my other little boy. Ral was loving Riverview. He enjoyed running about in the house, but he loved running about outside even more. One brushing a day just didn't cut it. It helped that he still had a penchant for joining me in the bath or shower. I was more prone towards letting him join than I was to sending him away.

As I had told ada, Aewen and Alcarien's birthday came soon. I had been already long convinced that they were identical, but them growing up erased any small doubts that had been in everyone else's minds. 

Their birthday made me realize what the issue that had been bugging me for some time was. I had been spending so much time with my children since I had gotten out of the hospital. That had been even more true once my memories came back. Still, I felt as if there was a disconnect between us. It came to my attention that I didn't know them even though I knew them well. I had never really talked to them about how my kidnapping had affected them. With the children having a little more vacation before school started again, it was time to spend some one-on-one moments with them.

Ranna was the one I talked the most to about my kidnapping. The others were willing to discuss it, but mostly they had moved on past it ever since I had returned. Ranna was a bit more apt to tell me how worried and how down everyone had been. We didn't dwell long on the topic though. She and I went to see a symphony at the theater as was her want. After that, she told me all about how she wants to master as many instruments as possible. She's already very skilled at the piano, and I love having musically skilled children. We talked about getting some other instruments for her to practice on. Ranna initially wanted a drum set, but I managed to talk her into wanting a guitar instead. A guitar would be much quieter.

Aewen and I spent our time together at the library. She had taken a great interest in books since her birthday. We didn't do a lot of talking considering that we were reading the whole time, but we did manage to get some chatting it. What I don't know what we managed was bringing home all the book she checked out without them causing us to fall over from their weight. I had to actually stop at the grocery store to buy one of those thick plastic shopping bags in order for us to make to the house.

My time with Alcarien was the compete opposite. We did almost nothing but talk. Alcarien didn't have a real preference for where we went, so we took over the swings at the children's park directly behind our house. We sat there, and I listened to her tell me all about whatever she wanted to talk about. Mostly she gushed over her younger siblings and some of the other delightful local children she had met. Alcarien certainly was a mother hen. I also heard a lot about her hopes and wishes for her own children. She wanted a bigger family, but not one that was too big. Four children sounded like the perfect number for her. I had a good time silently contemplating what it would have been like to only have four children. It would have been a lot less hectic, that's for sure!

Delerith's chosen activity required a lot more energy to be spent. She had grown addicted to going swimming, and had been upset when her siblings had become pretty bored with it. Considering she could only go to the pool when someone else was with her, she jumped on the chance for me to take her there when the opportunity presented itself. The two of us swam from lunch nearly to dinner. I didn't mind when Delerith wanted to have contests where we tested who could hold their breath longer, but I did mind her unfortunate dislike for splashing me. She enjoyed herself, but I was hardly pleased with her spraying so much water on me that I felt like my head wasn't even above the surface. I did have to tell her to calm down at one point. Everything went smoothly after that.

I was a bit disappointed with Delindir. I listed off a bunch of places we could go to. I even offered to take him to the bistro so he could eat whatever he wanted. However, all he wanted to do was to stay home and watch television with me. He was so insistent that I couldn't say no. We relaxed in his room, and watched several of his shows. I wished we had done something more productive, but I can't say I didn't mind it once it got to the point where Delindir laid down to cuddle next to me. We were spending quality time together. That was the important thing.

Thoronton wanted to show off his artwork. He had inherited nana's painting talent, which had actually been causing a bit of trouble. The two of them were constantly bickering over who would get to use the easel. The little fights were mostly amusing because nana acted as if she was no older than her second-youngest grandson. I eventually had to put in an order for another easel even though I had no idea where we were going to place it. We hadn't even been able to fit the rest of the things we had brought from Twinbrook. A good portion of it was still in storage.

Thoronton had managed to get enough time alone with the one easel we had to paint what was a very good work for his age. He was happy to give me a lesson even though he knew I knew more than him. I helped him to finish up what he was working on, and we framed the painting and hung it in the dining room.

After another week, nana finally came around to revealing to me the reason why she was so sullen when she was alone. What she told me made my mouth drop. It took her a while to get the explanation out after she asked to speak to me in my room privately though. I wasn't sure what to make of her attitude. She still appeared nervous and concerned, but then she would smile a bit as if she was excited. We stood there for a few minutes as she mumbled nonsense trying to say whatever it was she had to say. When I buckled down and prompted a full sentence out of her, she sheepishly revealed that she and ada had accidentally taken me up on my offer.

That didn't help me at all. I had no idea what offer she was talking about. I began to think that maybe not all of my memories had come back, but nana was talking about the sarcastic offer I had made when ada had kissed her. The one where I had joked about letting them use my bed to have some fun? I squinted while I stared at the bed. That wasn't something I would have liked to have known, but I didn't understand why such a thing was causing nana's behavior. Nana shook her head. She told me I wasn't recalling the offer properly. She asked me to think of the exact wording I had used. I pondered it. I had told them they could use my bed...if they wanted to make me a little sibling.

My mouth dropped open. Nana laughed an exasperated laugh, and finished her explanation- though it came out more like an excuse. It had been years now since she and ada had gotten the chance to be close. The moment had all been very unplanned, and obviously neither of them had been thinking logically. Nana had never considered getting pregnant on account of the fact that elven women were able to control when they ovulated. Then she had started to feel the same way she had felt towards the beginning of her pregnancies with Eloril and me. She hadn't noticed until after realizing the signs of how much she had been thinking back recently to when Eloril and I were young. Being around her grandchildren all the time made her miss caring for her own children, especially since she still felt guilty about what she had done to me. Nana figured her body had been instinctively reacting to her thoughts and desires, and now she had the result for letting those thoughts and desires get a bit out of hand.

Nana laughed again. She said the whole situation was rather ironic. So much of what had prompted her actions with me had been because of the fact that she had not wanted a second child. Now that we were finally past all of that and were comfortable as a family again, here she was carrying a third child. I asked her if she was sure she was pregnant then. Nana was. She had taken one of my over-the-counter pregnancy tests to confirm it. Some silence passed between us. Nana had a smile stuck to her face though, and I pointed this out to her. She admitted that despite the unusual circumstance that she was actually rather glad she was pregnant. The only thing that worried her was that she might have to go back home despite her promise to stay with me. Ada was definitely going to be very surprised when he came back to hear the news, but we both knew he would be ecstatic once that shock wore off. It really was all going to boil down to whether nana could stay or not. I couldn't image ada being too happy with having his new son or daughter being raised on the human side of the wall away from him.

It was definitely something that was going to need a lot of consideration. We had a bit more time before we had to deal with it though. Nana was more curious about what I thought. I couldn't help but to be excited as well. I had never dreamed I would get the chance to be an older sister, but I was looking forward to it already. The pregnancy might not have been planned, but that didn't stop it from being a good thing. I had to say that it did feel very weird to know that nana was pregnant given that I was pregnant as well.

It felt very, very weird......