I should have known.
I should have known something was wrong when Ellothiel didn't come back by her normal time. While it might be that she rarely eats anything anymore, she at least manages to find her way back here by lunch. However, noon came and went with no sign of her. I was too stupid to notice until I started clearing up the plates. It's just been so hard keeping my thoughts straight and coherent lately.
The grief lingering in my heart is quite unlike what I felt the last time I was here. I met Elrunamir and Ureliel when they were already so far along in their lives. Their passing hurt of course, but that pain was nothing like what struck my chest when I saw the lifeless body of the little girl I'd helped teach to walk and talk limp in Garthon's arms. There's no wiping the memory of her blood soaked face out of my memory.
Then there is Ellothiel. I have no choice but to watch her grow paler, grow weaker every day. Last time I was able to comfort her. This time there's no way I ever could. As badly as I want to ignore the truth, the truth is that it's now Ellothiel's decision alone whether she will live or not- and I fear she's leaning towards not.
