The two and a half months that had passed since we arrived in Monte Vista had been perfect. However, the tranquility our family found could not last forever. I'm surprised that it lasted that long. In every land, even the my dear elvish one, there are those with dark hearts. It was late one night when a thief broke into the house. The siren was tolerable this time around thanks to my room being furthest away from the alarm. The thief ran away before he could even get past the foyer, but this unwelcome intruder would be the first to trigger more unfortunate events.
Not that that particular day turned out bad. The worst would come a little later. The day the thief came actually turned out to be quite a good one. It was Anithien's birthday. It was just Iselith, Saradith, and myself there to celebrate it with her. Nikara was so busy that she couldn't even get a half hour break to come home. She had multiple after school activities to attend. She's joined so many since we've moved that she comes home late most days. I am glad to see her so involved, but I keep thinking back to when Elrunamir was her age. He almost burned himself out. I hope Nikara doesn't do the same.
But let's go back to Anithien. I gave her Jeremiah's phone number and told her to call him. When she first learned to speak, I would call Jeremiah and let him listen to her toddler words. I think they were both happy that they could now hold a proper conversation together. They certainly talked for a good long while.
However, now that we're properly settled in here and I am toddler-less I had no excuse to delay the task any further. I was trying to form a plan as to where to go while I was walking out the door, but when I checked the mail I had to rush right back inside. A letter from Eloril had finally arrived.
He managed to get back home safely, and without finding anymore alien babies this time. He related to me his shock that adjusting back to the elvish way of living took him some time to accomplish. A couple years living amongst humans had undone a lot of what he had been taught for hundreds of years. I can only imagine how the readjustment will go for me when it's my time to return.
It was relieving to hear that Eloril felt at peace at home though. Ada and naneth were doing well, and apparently both were almost reduced to tears when Eloril gave them the letter I wrote them. They were honored to hear that I had named children after them, and were sad to hear that they died. The words they sent were written by Eloril. He explained that they were still too nervous that direct contact would bring me back home. Eloril promised he would change their minds eventually.
He then filled me in on how relations with the humans wanting our land was going. The humans are trying to use a tactic that they think is subtle. They suggested that small numbers of humans interested in learning more about our culture and people be allowed on our side of the wall. I don't doubt that the people who want to learn more about our ways come with any ill-will in their hearts, but the ulterior motive of the people behind the offer is to slowly trickle in human influence starting with something seemingly harmless. All the elf rulers voted against the idea. Eloril says he now sees that we need a true ambassador from our lands to deal and work with the humans on our behalf. He offered the idea to our parents, and they in turn will present the idea to the rest of the rulers.
Eloril said he would keep me as informed as possible, and he hoped to hear from me soon. Even if not everything he wrote was the best of news, I was so glad to hear from him. It made it possible for me to return to my original outing in a very good mood.
Although it was raining slightly, my first stop was the beach. Someone is always there. Miraculously, the lone person there was a man by the name of Vincentio Pantalone. I quickly found out that he was single, but I hesitated. Mr. Pantalone was clearly getting on in years. The last time I slept with an older man went so well. Mr. Pantalone might not be as old as Calvin, but I was still apprehensive. I pushed forward despite the warnings in my head and heart.
It was actually a lot more difficult to get Mr. Pantalone away to my house and out of the rain. He really wanted to stay at the beach. It seemed as if he was attached to for some reason- maybe he has made a lot of memories here. I eventually convinced him to come over though. I let the girls go out for dinner while he and I got to know each other better upstairs.
I've been making sure to call Vincentio everyday. My worries calmed mostly after the first night and he didn't end up dying. If I have become pregnant again, then I want to make sure that he knows at the first sign. I will not allow another repeat of what Nadrien had to go through.
I had just gotten off the phone with him when I received a call from Sildor. The news I had been dreading finally came. Elaril had passed on. I didn't burst into tears like I had done when Elrun and Ureliel had died. After having these peaceful months to work through my thoughts and feelings, I've learned what I have to do. Of course I have to let myself feel pain, but not so much that it overwhelms me. I can't let myself fall into that dark world like I did with Elrun's death, and I can't ignore my bleeding heart like I did with Ureliel's. I've been taught since a young age that balance must reside within everything.
I sat outside for a long time. It's the best place for me to collect myself. I knew what I had to do, but not letting myself slip into that deep depression was very very difficult. Tacking the sad news to the end of the letter I had been about to send to Eloril certainly didn't help in anyway. Because of my decision to name my son after my brother, the two men shared a special bond. Word of his death will hurt Eloril more than ada and naneth were over Elrun and Ureliel's death because Eloril knew Elaril personally as well.
Unfortunately, the day only got worse from there. It got much worse.
I had managed to achieve some sort of calm state by the time Nikara returned home it. I was surprised to see her so early, actually. I thought she would have had one of her activities. Just before I was about to explain the news of Elaril's death to her, Nikara wouldn't let me speak saying she had something she had to tell me first. The small smile I had been able to greet her with quickly vanished as she started her confession.
She had been lying to me pretty much the whole time we had been here. All the school activities she said she joined were just a cover-up. The truth was that she actually had spent all that time away from home at a boy named Khang Seng's house. Nikara hadn't planned on lying to me at the beginning, until her and this boy's actions became not so innocent. After struggling to find an easy way to say it, Nikara just came out and admitted that she was pregnant.
Nikara anxiously awaited my reaction, but my mind was stunned blank. I had no idea what to do. I was both so furiously mad and sad. Neither have ever actually happened, but back home for an adult elf woman to have a child out of wedlock is almost the largest shame possible to receive. The biggest shame is reserved for any female who is not of adult age who bears a child. The law requires that she and the father be banished from the lands until the child, deemed innocent as it had no control over its conception, turns one hundred years old. Of course things are different here, and I would never kick Nikara out.
However, the severity of her actions weighed heavily on my heart. Not only had she betrayed my trust by lying to me all this time, but she took her relationship with this Khang Seng so far. With the pain of Elaril's death still attempting to crush me down with everything it had, I couldn't help but to start crying right there. I asked Nikara what I had done wrong, where I had failed her. Nikara, I'm sure being stunned by my unexpected reaction, tried to console me. I had to admit Elaril's death to her to explain why I couldn't compose myself. She apologized over and over.
Eventually, I told her that I needed some time by myself to calm down and get a grip on myself again.
I managed to get that grip a couple hours later. I still didn't have much to say to Nikara, but I told her I was going to take her to the hospital so we can make sure everything is going alright with her and the baby. A little bit of worry was taken off my heart when it was confirmed that Nikara and her baby boy were perfectly fine. Since I could feel the signs of pregnancy for myself, I requested a test to confirm it. I was still early on, but the doctors were able to tentatively tell me that I was going to have a girl. Well, at least one thing has become consistent.....
One of the doctors said that it must feel weird to be having a grandchild while having another child myself. I told him that he he had no idea. Our family is as abnormal as can be. It was late by the time Nikara and I returned home. I still needed time to process everything, so I told her we would talk the next day.
I took Nikara out in the yard to talk to her when tomorrow finally came. Before I said anything, I wanted to know what her thoughts and feelings were. I wanted to know what was going through her mind when she made that choice to go so far.
Nikara started by saying she knows that she made a big mistake. Everything had just been so stressful. She was affected by Elrun and Ureliel's deaths of course, then she was frustrated watching me struggle so much. Then the move came. Nikara had such strong relationships with her friends there. People had been nice here, but she still felt like an outsider. Then Khang introduced himself to her. Nikara was so excited that he was interested in her like no other boy had been before. Things progressed much faster than she thought they would, but she admitted that she hadn't wanted to say no. She believed she was mature enough to do adult activities. Now she realizes how immature she really is.
Nikara went on to say that she told Khang a week ago about her pregnancy. He wasn't too thrilled, but she wants to keep the baby even if he comes to her saying he doesn't want her to. Nikara desires to make things as right as she possible can.
It was my turn to speak then. I didn't have much to add. I was disappointed of course with the choices she made and what she consented to. However, I've made my own terrible mistakes. Nikara has already figured out what I would say to her on the matter on her own. I would never call her growing boy a punishment, but Nikara has enough to deal with without me exacting a harsh punishment on her. Granted, I told her she wasn't allowed to leave the house other than for school, the upcoming prom, and outings the family had together.
If she could follow that rule and be honest with me from now on, then I would support her no matter what. What's happened is not exactly the ideal situation, but we would deal with it as best as possible just like we've always done.
I let some time pass to fully let the reality of Nikara's pregnancy sink into my mind before I invited Vincentio over. I was curious to see what his reaction would be. Surprisingly, he was rather excited. He was a bit embarrassed though considering that he had another daughter who had five children of her own. I told him that was nothing- I had twelve other children and twenty-four grandchildren.
Vincentio thought I was joking.
My mood has increased over the past few weeks as I've come to accept Elaril's death properly. Since it was too complicated to make it to his funeral, we had our own service to him at the beach.
The girls and I left white flowers on the beach that would eventually be swept up by the tide and taken far out to sea......
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