Forgiveness

Although Eloril has gotten used to handling toddlers, he comes often for my help in teaching Anondil. After all this time, educating the little ones is quite my expertise. In regards to Anondil, I admit I have become considerably more comfortable interacting with him. The others around us have become comfortable with him as well. Anondil certainly garnered many strange looks when we first took him around the town. Eloril, Elrun, and I were all terrified someone would say something. Thankfully, the unusual is accepted quickly here. No one even gives this green-skinned, black-eyed toddler a second look anymore. For that, I am very grateful.

Eloril thought I was lying when I told him Elerith's birthday had come around again. For half the day he tested my nerves asking for confirmation that I wasn't joking with him. Facing the truth was hard for him. Eloril just couldn't believe this day had come so fast. I could see my own conflicted, bittersweet emotions reflected in my brother's eyes. However, there was guilt as well. Elerith had been happy to have Eloril return of course, but she had been angry at him too. He had missed many things during his absence. Now that Elerith is leaving, I'm sure Eloril wishes he had stayed and thus had more time with her.

Elerith's plans include owning her own bar in the future, but for now she's renting a small place near her part-time job. She left quickly, which only made the separation harder.

I don't know if it was the stress of having to see her leave, but my sleeping was poor this past night. Poor Cadriethiel wasn't feeling too well either. She woke and cried often. If I had been sleeping I would have minded more, yet since I was already up it was almost calming to have something to do. Cadrie was able to rest peacefully a couple hours after the new day began. Needless to say, we both were late to rise.

The rest of the day passed with a better atmosphere. After we both were fully rested, Eloril and I had a little birthday celebration for Cadrie. While she inherited my eyes and ears, I was so shocked to see the color her hair was. I thought Devon had done the chemical dyeing of his hair that is popular among humans here. It seems I was wrong. The red in his hair is actually natural, and Cadrie has gotten this feature too. My surprise didn't remain for too long. Considering Lothi's purple eyes, Nadrien's coloring, and Anondil of course, she isn't out of the normal for our family.

Eloril and I switch Anondil and Cadrie between the two of us when teaching them. We get equal time to spend with each of them. Having multiple toddlers in the house is a lot easier to handle with two adults in the house to help at all times. Why couldn't Eloril have come when Aravilui, Arluwen, and Amadrie were young? Some of my sanity might have been spared.

Eloril never stops teaching though. When Nadrien and Threlad finish their schoolwork after arriving home, he takes the time to educate them on the things we learned in our youth. You might think the two of them would get tired of so many lessons, but they really enjoy it. At the moment, Eloril has been focusing on teaching them archery. He bought a large roll of hay for them to practice shooting at. Nadrien, who has always been very feminine, doesn't get too much out of these types of things. Threlad is the complete opposite. He absolutely loves learning how to shoot and sword fight, and spends a lot of time practicing.

I woke one morning to find Nadrien up and about. More impressive than seeing her at an early hour was that she was already halfway done making breakfast. When I asked her what had come over her, she told me she had always wanted to do more cooking. It's something she's always loved. I told Nadrien that she is more than welcome to do all the cooking she wants. I enjoy it too, but at the rate meals disappear in this house sometimes standing over the stove or in front of the oven gets a bit old.

Thanks to Nadrien's sudden behavior, I had a peaceful start to my morning. Unfortunately, that peaceful mood would not last for long. Nadrien and Threlad left for school as normal.

Or so I thought.

An hour later the phone rings with a secretary from the school on the line. She wanted to know if perhaps Threlad had gotten sick for he had not showed up for classes. I told her that he wasn't sick and I had seen him get on the bus like always.

The secretary checked with the teacher again to make sure a mistake hadn't been made. Even when she told me Threlad hadn't shown up, I forced her to check again. If I believed her words then it meant that most likely something bad had happened to my son. What could have occurred in the short distance from the bus to the school doors was beyond me, but a deep worry began to stir in my chest. I paced furiously as the school sent someone to ask Nadrien if she knew where Threlad had gone to. Those minutes of silently waiting were some of the slowest minutes to pass in my life. Eloril tried to console me, but I didn't want any consoling. All I wanted was a definite answer to where my son had gone.

That's when I got my answer. Eloril and I just happened to catch Threlad trying to sneak back into the house. He turned so pale when he saw that we noticed him. He didn't have to explain his actions. I already knew. Threlad had skipped school, and was sneaking back inside to take some toys to play with while he went to the park or whatever his intended destination was.

I can barely remember a time where I have been so mad. Even with the fight with Eloril, I had been more upset than angry. I couldn't understand why Threlad had done this. He has never done anything so blatantly rebellious before. I was able to restrain my voice to just below shouting while I gave him a long lecture. I could have gone on for more than I had, but Eloril reminded me Threlad had to go to school. I let him take Threlad back. I played with Anondil and Cadriethiel to calm myself.

By the time Threlad returned home from school normally, neither of us were in a good mood. I gave him the punishment of cleaning the entire house by himself. I hadn't done any of it because of my anger. When he complained loudly about having to clean out Anondil and Cadriethiel's potties, I bit my tongue. I gave him another job to do instead of going off at him again. No matter how much resistance he gave, Threlad cleaned everything.

He should consider himself lucky. If I was the one in his position, naneth would have been much harder on me than I am being on him. I would have gotten hard swats on my hands for firstly doing something so rebellious, and more would have come my way for each complaint. I love naneth, but I refuse to do that to my children. My heart is too soft to go through with it anyway. It would be more of a punishment for me than it would be for Threlad.

I let Threlad get off with only cleaning the house. Today is actually his birthday so I don't want to ruin his day completely. I suppose his birthday inspired the thought of skipping school. Playing outside and enjoying himself on such a special occasion is much more attractive than being forced to sit inside and study. I do understand that.

After his celebration, Threlad apologized properly. He had finally realized that I wasn't so angry because he skipped school, but I was angry because he had worried me so much. He admitted that he hadn't thought about what I would feel when I found out he was missing. I told him as long as he realizes that's he's done something wrong that all is well. He's safe, and I know Threlad is quite good at heart.

Threlad learned his lesson well. The weeks have passed without incident since then. Summer shifted into fall, and Eloril and I have been reminiscing more about our own childhood days. Even though our memories are clear, they feel so far away being in such a different place than what we were raised in. Things like watching Anondil have his birthday as well also contribute to that feeling.

Truthfully, I haven't been able to love him as a son. I don't think I ever will be able to. However, that doesn't mean that I don't care for him greatly. While I can't see him as one of my own children, the love I have for him is just as strong. I am so thankful I took him in.

Anondil has no idea, but he has helped me to free my heart and forgive those of his kind who had wronged me......