Fading Time

Three days have never passed faster. Coming from me, that says quite a lot. I honestly cannot overstate how quickly the time has flown. It's too bad the children didn't have more time off of school since it really takes more than a weekend to enjoy this place. Perhaps, money permitting, we will be able to make another trip during the summer when they have more free time.

I almost wished my parents had taught me this country's language instead of this one. That way I might have been sent here instead. I have grown used to this place in such a short time. It might be the people, the country's laws, or the semi-isolated location, but respect for nature is so much stronger here. I haven't seen a single car- just smaller motorized vehicles which are much more practical. Overall, there are so many beautiful things to see. There is just as much to learn as well. It would probably take many years of my immortal life to be taught all that is offered here.

I suppose the fact that Yves is here as well also has something to do with my disappointment over our departure date. We met each other yesterday by coincidence. Not all of our activities might have been um.....innocent exactly, but considering that we spent most of the day wandering the town enriching our knowledge of the cooking techniques here, I do not feel guilty. It turns out that Yves loves cooking almost as much as he loves wine.

I went to visit him one more time even though we only had a couple hours left before our departure. We only talked this time. I struggled to bring up the topic that I might find out soon that I am carrying his child. That's when Yves suddenly joked that I was to call him right away if I did end up pregnant. He didn't want his life to turn out like a movie where years down the road he runs into a child of his that he never knew existed. Given that I don't watch movies, I wasn't quite sure exactly what he was talking about. Still, I agreed and gave him a hug.

I didn't even entertain the idea of pulling away when he pulled me tighter to kiss him.

It was much harder to leave than I ever thought it would be. Eloril kept glancing my way on the flight back. He knew I had gone to see Yves, something he obviously wouldn't be pleased about, but I could tell he was concerned as well. My state was very melancholy. I was trying so hard to keep the memories of France strong and real. All too often, new memories become so easily lost amongst hundreds of years of others. Such is the case this time. The whole experience felt like a dream as soon as we arrived back in Appaloosa Plains. The five of us fell back into routine without missing a step.

I received a call from Ureliel the next day. She wanted me to check up on Elrunamir. He had become sick while we were away, and although he had recovered, she was still worried about him. I rushed over to his place as soon as I could. It was after a minute of standing at his door waiting for him to answer that I saw he was actually talking a walk away from the house. I was next to him in no time. Of course, I instantly suggested that we talk inside the house where it would be warmer. Elrun refused. Despite the chilling weather, he wanted to remain outside.

He certainly does look healthy, but Goddess, I can't believe how old his body has gotten. I only saw him half a week ago, but it feels as if years have passed by instead. How could the tiny child I strolled down the same sidewalk we were on now have become this slowly withering man so fast? I worry so much- for him, and for myself. I can feel within my heart that the time he has to remain with me is fading. Elrun will leave me, and I still cannot imagine how I will handle it.

The two of us went to lunch for I know that I need to spent as much time with him as possible. He told me he is surprised that I haven't had a child again yet. I revealed I am most likely pregnant by a French man. Elrun laughed. Now that doesn't surprise him. His smile faded, and he revealed that he wished he could meet all his siblings yet to be born. He hoped that he would live long enough to meet this one. I told him I wasn't comfortable talking about his death, but he tried to reassure me by saying he's quite comfortable with it. He said I might not be able to understand the feeling since I'm immortal, but after having to face the reality of death for so many years one almost comes to wait for it with anticipation.

Elrun then told me that he doesn't want me to become too upset by his passing. For some reason, I almost laughed. I reminded him that he is my son. What he wants to happen is an impossibility.

In the passing weeks, Elrun and I have met up for lunch almost every day. Time has revealed that I am indeed pregnant again. I know I told Yves I would alert him if such a thing happened, but I have been hesitating for reasons beyond my understanding. Elrun reprimands me every day to tell him. I will get to it. I will. There are just many distractions around. I would be lying if I said I didn't create more of those distractions myself though. Mostly I become too engrossed with learning new recipes. It helps keep my mind off thinking about Elrun's inevitable submission to the oblivion. It also makes it easier to satisfy the many strange cravings I get when I am pregnant.

Unfortunately, I have done too good of a job distracting myself. The fact that an already sniffly Cadrie went to the play in the rain in her normal clothes completely escaped my noticed. When Threlad caught her and quickly brought her inside she seemed no worse than she had been, but it surprised no one when she came down with a fever a couple hours later. Although I feel bad for not watching my daughter more closely, I do feel comforted now that I have picked up more knowledge overs the years as to how to tend to sick children.

With my help, and Cadrie's strong immune system, she was almost fully recovered by the next evening. I just hoped that the snow that had begun to fall wouldn't make her fever any worse. The fierce storm that came piled the snow up faster than I have ever seen before.

I had a plan to meet with Elrun for lunch, but the child I was carrying had a different idea. I spent the morning quietly with Eloril after Threlad, Anondil, and Cadrie went to school. An hour before the meeting time with Elrun was when I went into labor. Eloril became quite flustered and panicked considering it was the first time he had seen me in such a state. I told him I would be fine as long as he brought me warm water and some cloths. This wasn't exactly the first time I had to give birth to a child. Eloril tried to stick around to help me, but he quickly became too embarrassed and retreated upstairs. I did not mind. He tried, and so I appreciate the thought.

I did not find out the gender of this child ahead of time, but I was not surprised when I had another daughter. I decided to let Eloril name her. We bickered for over an hour. He claimed it was too much. I reminded him many times that I had already named twelve other children and I would name eighty-seven more. It would be alright for him to have the opportunity once. After much insisting from me, Eloril relented and named his new niece Nikara. I have the suspicion that he created the name from Carawen- his childhood friend who moved to the western land while she was still young. I won't ask though. It is clear from Eloril's face that he believes he has been quite clever, so I won't spoil his pride by showing I so easily saw through him.

Now that Nikara has been born, I felt absolutely horrible for not saying anything to Yves after promising him that I would. I left Nikara in Eloril's care so I could call him. I thought he wouldn't answer for the time difference, but he picked up right away. He was quiet as I admitted that we had a daughter together. I asked Yves if he was angry. He said he had been a bit when Elrun called him months ago to tell him the news. I couldn't believe it. How in the world would Elrun have gotten Yves' number? I can only assume Threlad or Anondil did a bit of sneaking onto my phone per Elrun's request.

Yves told me the anger wore off after Elrun explained a bit about what I had been through and what I was currently going through. Elrun had asked Yves to be patient with me and wait till I came around before contacting me himself. What an impudent child! Where did such nerve come from to do such a thing?! Of course, as always, I am thankful for Elrun's action. What he did fixed a horrible mistake I made. Yves said that if I could so such a good job raising Elrun then he felt satisfied that Nikara would be just fine with me. He also said that he would come visit as soon as he had the money.

With things working out well with Yves, I was able to relax more. Cadrie came up to me one day saying she wanted to learn how to ice skate. It was the perfect opportunity for us to take a trip down to the winter festival. Threlad, who doesn't like cold as well as strong heat, watched over Nikara in the lodge. There was a skating rink set up in the middle of the festival grounds, but the iced pond was much more inviting. I wasn't able to help myself once I stepped on its surface. Roller skating is fine, but ice skating I absolutely adore. I was off doing my own thing before Cadrie could even put on her skates. I had to thank the Goddess for Eloril. He took over Cadrie's teaching without a second thought. It was lucky as well that Cadrie didn't mind who taught her as long as she was taught.

After spending a couple hours on the pond, I went to join Threlad in the lodge. Anondil and Cadrie built what would turn out to be an alien snowman, and Eloril went ahead and tried snowboarding. Cadrie, who the opposite of Threlad since she loves the cold, would have had us at the festival forever. She kept trying to convince me that it would be fun to spend the night in the igloo someone else had built. No, I told her. That would not be fun at all. She could build her own at home and sleep in that if she wanted, but I would like very much to sleep in my bed.

Winter pressed on, and Nikara's birthday eventually came. Elrun was looking forward to it. Since he was feeling quite tired and couldn't make it to our house, I brought Nikara over to his so we could celebrate her special day together......