Leaving the Nest

I am glad that someone has inherited my mother's artistic talents. It is good that I have taken up writing for Elaril is constantly attached to the easel. He can finish paintings much faster than I can. Of course, his works are still that of a child's, but it won't be too much longer before they are brilliant. Maybe I can save one of his paintings some day, and bring it back with me when I return home. I'm sure my mother would like that very much. I would as well for Elaril will be long dead before such a time comes. That painting will be all I have to remember him by......

I try not to think of that cold reality.

Since Ureliel made it onto the honor roll, I bought a present for her. She had been wanting a costume chest for some time. As soon as I brought it home, she and Elaril began playing right away. Ureliel loves to be a princess and Elaril a prince. As I stated near the beginning of my tale, we elves do not hold titles. However, no one can deny that if we did Eloril and I would be a prince and princess. To watch my children pretend to be like what humans portray royalty to be is both interesting and amusing.

It became more interesting when I realized Ureliel and Elaril technically are what they are dressing up as. My children know the basics of my own life living with the elves. However, it is painful to talk too much so they don't know everything. The fact of my family's high-ranking position is unknown to them. Although I desire to let them know more, I dread doing it. I fear if I tell them more then they will want to meet the other half of their heritage. This is, of course, impossible. A dark premonition comes over me when I consider divulging more, so it is for this reason that I keep quiet.

Sildor has learned how to talk so Elaril and I have been working on our cooking. I thought I was getting better, but it seems I am not progressing as much as I hoped. I burnt the spaghetti I made for dinner, which, apparently, is a near impossible thing to do. Even though I knew the meal was inedible, it was difficult to throw it away. So much food was wasted. I've noticed that I am considerably more conservative when it comes to you humans. To waste or throw away anything is not what I've been taught. I tried to find a purpose for even such awful food, but there was none.

Thankfully, nothing else has been ruined in the days since. Life has not been all well and good though. Elrun returned home from school later than usual in a foul mood. He didn't want to tell me anything, but eventually admitted that he had been sent to detention. The word was lost on me as usual. It was the first time Elrun appeared annoyed when he explained something. According to my understanding, detention is a punishment held after school for misbehaving students. They must sit quietly in a room and do work, otherwise they'll get in more trouble.

I asked Elrun if there had been a mistake. I couldn't believe that he would create so much trouble for this detention to be possible. Elrun told me he had though. I could see he learned his lesson already so I didn't ask him what he had done or add another punishment. Instead, I told him to scale back on the things he does. I am busy, but so is he. Elrun wakes up early in the morning to get ready for school, goes to work as soon as it ends, does all his homework when he returns, helps out with his siblings, and goes to bed late at night.

There is no time for him to relax or have fun. His frustrations have been building up, and I'm sure he acted out while letting off steam in school. However, Elrun quickly refused my advice to slow things down. He said he's only a few days from graduating anyway, and promised he wouldn't get in trouble again. Although I want him to be free as I was in my younger days, I allowed the matter to drop. I trust Elrun to deal with life and its situations steadfastly. He did remind me of the nasty fact that he will be leaving me soon, and such is the reason why my good mood has decreased.

Ureliel's birthday both helped my mood and made it even worse. I was delighted to see her become a beautiful young woman, but I had to deal with the fact that another one of my children would be leaving before too long.

At the moment, I was trying to make peace with the length of skirt she had chosen to wear. I let the hem of her shorts slide before since she was a child. Now that she was becoming a woman, I felt she should be dressing more appropriately. I'm trying my best to be open minded though. I have to keep reminding myself that I am not home anymore, but that I am living amongst humans. The sort of attire Ureliel has chosen is acceptable to them. If I force my daughter to dress like me it will embarrass and do her more harm than it would good. I will have to do something about feeding this child more though. She has never complained that she hasn't had enough to eat, but her extremely thin frame worries me!

Oh, but now the dreaded day has come! Elrun's birthday unfortunately had to be the day after Ureliel's. We had a special celebration for him, and I managed to make it through most of the day without crying. It certainly feels strange to see that he has caught up to me in a way. Although I might be decades and decades older than him, we are both in the same stage of life. Elrun will now be starting to live his life that I way I should have if I had not been forced here.

Sadly, my dear Elrunamir did not remain at home for long. I asked many times before, but it wasn't until that day that he revealed he wants to become an astronaut. This will require that he joins the military first, and it made me proud and scared for him. Having already quietly applied for the job, Elrun was granted housing by the military and was off before the day was done. Naturally, he took Kosa along with him. Having the two of them gone made the house feel very empty. It is thankful that Elrun will be living close by for I know not how I could handle this separation otherwise.

Now I can scratch at an understanding of how my parents felt when I left. How much harder it must have been for them though, knowing the awful task I was doomed to follow and the long separation between us. I don't know how they were able to let me go.

I'm beginning to wonder if there is a way to contact them, but I also reluctantly realize my best chance of talking to them again is to meet more men so that this task can be finished......