Growing Older

I can't believe it, but Elrun's birthday came once again. He's now an adolescent, or "teenager" as his age group is more popularly called here. Either way, this birthday of his has left me a bit scared. Firstly because his body is going through rapid changes, and it is likely he'll become more rebellious and troublesome. He's already begun to wear a jacket that has a skull on the back. I won't judge too quickly though. Elrun has given me no reason otherwise to think he'll become a troublemaker. He's still the same sweet boy I know.

What I'm actually more scared of is the reality that my first baby will leave after his next birthday. He'll be all grown up, and will move out. I don't understand how human mothers deal with the rapid growth of their children. I've said it before, but if Elrun was a full elf he would still be crawling around as a very young toddler. He hasn't stated his intentions as to what he wants to do when he becomes an adult, but I hope he stays close by.

It is nice that he's able to help out around the house more. Our trash receptacle keeps getting knocked over again and again by stray animals. Elrun is quick to clean up the mess, and he's eager to help look after his siblings so I can rest or get other work done. Elrun has made me almost cry once although not for any of the reasons you might be thinking. Even though he's busy with school and helping me out, he went and got a part-time job at the local food store. Elrun said he got the job because he wanted to and that it would be good work experience in the future. I know it's because he doesn't want us to have to worry about money ever again. Ureliel and Elaril won't seem the same struggles that Elrun has, and he seems determined to keep it that way.

Now that my workload had decreased some, I realized how absolutely stir-crazy I had become. With Elrun watching the house, I took a little break to go and meet some more of the local residents. I changed my tactic by going to the swimming center this time. I met a couple people. Most importantly, I met a man named Benjamin Schmidt. He was friendly and not involved with any other woman. I knew I had found my next opportunity. However, I didn't know what to do. I wanted like to wait a little longer before having another child, but at the rate men and women get together in this town I didn't want to miss my chance.

Just as I was getting used to the idea of Elrun getting older, so much time passed that Elaril grew older as well. It's easy to not panic as much though seeing as I'm still the center of Elaril's world. He has his father's hair, but my eyes and, amazingly, my ears as well. It makes me happy to finally know that trait can be passed down. We didn't have much of a party for him. I've decided there's not much point buying a cake for someone who can't eat it and doesn't even understand what's going on. We played some fun games instead. With two toddlers, the house is very busy. I talked to Benjamin when I could. I still didn't know what to do in regards to him.

But Goddess help me! I lost track of time, and in what felt like the time span of a blink Ureliel's birthday was upon me. She's such a pretty girl. She loves playing with Elaril so the two of them are very close. Unfortunately, she and Kosa do not get along all that well. Maybe it's because Kosa is so attached to Elrun that he doesn't want any competition for his affection. He does not hold the same animosity towards me, but I assume that's because Kosa knows I'm Elrun's mother. That cat understands if he tries to do the same things to me that he does to Ureliel that he will be in a world of trouble.

Elaril learned to walk, and fearing my opportunity with Benjamin would slip away any moment, I decided to call him over since I was no longer so busy. You should know the routine by now. I began to feel this way last time, but now I am certain it is true. I've actually, somehow, become accustomed to giving myself away. I am no longer scared or disgusted. I'm rather emotionless towards the whole thing actually. All I can see it as is another step that will bring me closer to going home.