I don't think it has struck me until this day of just how much time has past since I left home. Some days it feels as if I have only just left, and on others I wonder if that life was nothing but a dream. Then I look at the child in front of me. Elrun's birthday has come, and he aged up into a beautiful little boy.
It was strange to me to see how fast he has grown. I know all parents think their children grow up too fast, but it is especially true in my case. If Elrunamir was a full elf, he would still be a newborn. By the time he reaches adulthood, this supposed elf counterpart of his would still be a toddler. It scares me to think that one day will come where he will be an old man while I will look no older than I do today. He will pass before me. All children I bear here will. I wish there could be something I could do to change that, but reality is cruel. Perhaps having to watch the children that I love slowly pass into oblivion is even crueler than this entire task.
I still have no money to buy Elrun some more toys. He says he is fine with the teddy bear and Lala, but I'm not fine with it. When I think back to my own childhood and how much I had, I can't help but to feel as if I'm failing miserably. My stomach has also gotten much larger. The next child will be arriving soon, and things will only get harder. I am going to do all that I can though. Our situation might be tough at the moment, but someday luck will fall upon us.
