Color My World Short Story #8 Part Two

I heard the front door open and close, and every inch of my skin cringed. She puttered over to the kitchen, drawn over by the scent of the cookies I assumed, before her heels slowly clacked in my direction. I'd hoped the stupid hope that Dahlia wouldn't come into the bedroom. Perhaps, if I was very lucky, she might have forgotten I existed. That thought seemed at the moment to be the only way to make any of this simpler. However, of course she walked into our room. Of course she knew who I was.

     "Hey." she greeted as she came in.

     "Welcome back. How was the meeting?" I asked, my voice way more cheerful than I felt.

     "Gourd would not shut up, as usual, but the clients appeared very excited with the proposal in the end," Dahlia explained with an eagerness in her voice, "Almost as excited as I am to have some of the cookies. Please tell me you and Ethereal made extras."

     "Most certainly. Once you have to make two hundred of them, what's the harm in making a dozen or two more?" I did what I could to chuckle.

     "Good. Hey, how about this? Why don't we just eat all the extras and say to the girls there were no extras?"

     "Heh, I'm actually kinda cookie-d out. I came in here to get away from the smell."

     "I see. I can imagine after making that many you would be sick of them. I'm sure you ate plenty of the dough too."

     "You know me too well."

Dahlia did know me too well. That was exactly why our cheerful conversation didn't last any longer than that. I couldn't stall turning around to face her properly, and as soon as I did her expression flattened. No matter what smile I wore, no matter how much I could fool other people...there was no hiding anything from her.

     "Al, what's up?" she asked in concern, coming closer.

     "It's noth..." I barely spoke before her eyes grew somewhat stern.

I knew I was lying, Dahlia knew I was lying, and that generally didn't work out well for her being happy with me. It didn't take more than a breath for me to understand I didn't really want to lie anyway.

     "I screwed up big time today. With Ethereal. With you." I admitted weakly.

     "Okay. How so?" Dahlia prompted gently.

     "Ethereal and I were almost done with the cookies. Everything was fine, and then I retold her this silly story of a school fair. She brought up Amaranth at the end of it, and she wasn't as ready as she thought she was in bringing him up. Ethereal got so distraught so quickly. I held her to help calm her down, and we both just..." I explained slowly with my voice growing quieter and quieter, "We both got swept away. Amaranth's disappearance has been really hard for me too."

I struggled to continue, but Dahlia gave me some relief for that for a brief moment.

     "I know," she kept her voice gentle, "I know it has been. I've been seeing that fake smile of yours a lot more recently, and it drives me crazy."

     "I don't know what else to do..."

My hands began to shake somewhat, and by the end of my sentence my eyes burned, absolutely burned, with tears. That was why I hated Dahlia so much that I loved her even more. She so easily brought out what I tried to hide.

     "But what about that has to do with you screwing up with Ethereal and me?" Dahlia pressed.

     "It hurt so much for the both of us that we latched onto anything that would make us feel better. We got swept away as if we'd gone back in time. It was if, for a moment, we were back in high school. We were together, and that was all that mattered. Ethereal and I...we kissed."

I closed my eyes to hold back the tears, but it just made them rush out.

     "We broke it off as soon as we realized what we were doing," I forced more words out before my lips became useless, "I'm so sorry, Lia. We weren't thinking. We didn't mean to. You should have seen how horrified Ethereal looked. I swear...I..."

My sleeve was soon drenched as I desperately attempted to control my pitiful waterworks. I tried to step away to look around for a box of tissues, yet I got nowhere. That was because Dahlia pulled me close without waiting to bury her lips against mine. Completely caught off guard and unsure of everything at the moment, I froze. Why on earth would that be her response to what I'd told her? My mind tortured me with the idea that she was giving me one last kiss before she revealed that was it. I'd screwed up, and now we were done. So deeply Dahlia went into the kiss. Further and further she went until it almost became uncomfortable. Further and further she went until I gave in. All the thoughts plaguing my mind, I had no choice but to forget them. The only thing left in my head was Dahlia, her warmth against me, and how much I loved and craved her touch. My shoulders relaxed, my tears slowed, and since she pulled back in that moment I was pretty sure that was the effect she waited for.

     "There," she said brightly, "Now I'm the last woman who's had your lips. All's forgiven."

     "Dahlia, you can't-"

     "I'm a big girl, Al, and I can make whatever decisions I want," she halted my protest, "If you had lied about the kiss and tried to hide it, I would have been pissed. However, since you were honest that changed everything. We both promised from day one of our relationship that we would be completely open with one another. We both agreed that with adequate discussion and permission we would even allow the other to briefly see other people. You've let me have that privilege while never taking advantage of it yourself."

     "I still didn't-"

     "I don't want to hear any protests. That's part of the requirements for me forgiving you. Yes, we didn't talk about it beforehand. Yes, I didn't give you permission. However, I am giving you permission now. I am aware that you're still in love with her somewhat. I am aware she's still in love with you somewhat. Ethereal is a good friend of mine, and, although the moment you talked about seems like a fluke, I'm more than fine with what happened and whatever might happen in the future. I trust you two."

I couldn't breathe properly. Dahlia was reacting exactly how I expected her to react. Obviously, we weren't the typical kind of couple. Dedicated to each other, but understanding we could love each other while needing some time apart here and there. That was especially true for Dahlia. A neatly tailored office worker during the day, she was quite, well, 'free', about certain matters when safely at home. It might even be the case that she once propositioned an evening of 'freedom' with Amaranth, Ethereal, myself, and herself all involved. It hadn't happened due to a denial of the rest of us, but it didn't change the fact that she'd still put the offer out there. Right then, I wished a little that she wasn't so accepting. It'd be easier to deal with my guilt if I felt rightly punished, which Dahlia really hadn't done.

     "C'mon here, Al." she beckoned after reading my still incredibly miserable expression, and we sat together on the bed with her stroking my hair.

     "What in the world am I going to do about Ethereal?" I weakly croaked out, "You really should have seen how awful she looked when she left. I think this whole thing took her far past her breaking point. She's been refusing to talk about her struggles to anyone to begin with. In her attempt to be there for her kids, she's not letting herself grieve or feel or anything. I'm absolutely terrified she's going to crash soon with this happening. I doubt she'll open up to me anymore. What else can I do?"
     "You've told me about this. That's what you've done to help.  I can tell her directly that I forgive her for the kiss, I can try to see if I can get her to open up to me, and, if not, I have another idea of who might be able to crack her. You are right. She's steadily getting more skilled at hiding how much she's bottling up, and I hate that, but I've still been able to see that she is keeping it all locked away. I want to do what I can to smash through that bad habit before it grows worse."
     "Thank you, Lia." I whispered, some relief spreading throughout my chest.

I buried my face against her shoulder and took a deep breath. There had been some others who called me stupid for sharing my wife. They were the real idiots. Dahlia going out, getting dinner, and having sex with some other person once in a long blue moon hardly meant her love for me was lessened. Here she was now, being more than I could have ever hoped for, and there was nothing that could make me give that up. My tears fully halted as she motioned me a bit further back on the bed so we could both hold each other more comfortably.

     "I really am sorry, Lia." I couldn't help but to apologize.
     "I'm going to have to listen to you say that a lot, aren't I?" Dahlia smiled up at me with a loving, teasing look.
     "I suppose I'm saying it more for my own benefit," I smiled ever so lightly, and it was a real one, "I'll need a bit of time to forgive myself. You're too easy on me, so I end up being hard on myself."
     "Well, if you want to be punished..."
     "Yeah?" I prompted with a raised brow when she paused as whenever 'punish' or 'punished' came out of my wife's lips in regards to me it either led to her saying something completely harmless or completely kinky, and I wasn't sure which it would be in this situation.
     "Go get me a plate of those cookies and some milk. I walked around a lot today, and I want to get off my feet."
     "Of course," I accepted with a chuckle, "But first."

This time I pulled her in close. Our lips met again, and I felt even more guilty. I felt guilty because I was glad. Glad I had Dahlia. Glad it hadn't been me who had to lose the person I loved so much. Ethereal was across the street suffering, and here I was like this being happy. I mentally shook my head as I drew back. That wasn't how I needed to think right now. It wasn't wrong to be happy, and I did have faith Dahlia would find a way to reach Ethereal. She wouldn't give up until she did.