Grandpa's supposed third favorite 'holiday' had arrived. His most favorite holiday was Christmas, and the next one after that was summer vacation. Winter break followed on the list. That list amused me both for the fact that grandpa still counted breaks from school as great moments during the year even though he was sixty and that two of his top favorite holidays weren't holidays at all. I think he did it mostly to be funny. I wondered if his ranking of days off would change soon though what with him going ahead and retiring. Each day would be a vacation now.
In any case, school was indeed now off for the holidays. School or Christmas or anything like that was the last thing on my mind though. It was the 15th of December- one day before the ultimate day. The one where Timber's mother would be arriving in Berrybrook to meet us at the lake. It was all my mind could focus on, yet I could hardly believe it was the truth. The stress must have been why I lagged behind as Gilly, Timber, and I made our way to the lake to show Gilly the kittens. The long trek up the hills had long since grown easy to me in the weeks prior, but now it was an arduous journey once again. It didn't help that, in her excitement, Gilly kept dashing off. A whole week had passed since I revealed the existence of the animals to my sister. With my parents, growing suspicious of my constant wandering as well, I had had to act normally and not visit the cats until this day where the start of the vacation allowed my siblings and I much more leniency to trek around town.
I had to force myself faster when Gilly's speed got rather ridiculous. A fear settled within my chest that her overflowing enthusiasm would scare the cats and force them away from the little home we'd made for them. Gilly thankfully slowed when I called for her, and I took her hand to make sure she couldn't run loose anymore.
"Have you thought about what you want to name the mama cat?" I asked when we reached the top of the hill.
"I've come up with some ideas, but I'm waiting until I see her. Then I'll know what name will fit for sure. I do have this other idea that I'm totally sure of though."
"Yeah? What is it?"
"Asking mom and dad if we can take the cats in."
"If I thought they would say yes, I would have already asked." I pointed out with slight disappointment.
"If we actually bring the cats with us, that might change their minds. It's much harder to refuse when you've got the adorableness in front of you." Gilly pressed optimistically.
"I dunno. I dunno if it's for the best for the cats either. If they're used to living on their own, I don't think they'll make the good kind of house cats you're imagining. Asking to adopt a cat normally for either Christmas or our birthday would probably give you a better chance of getting a pet."
"Mmm..." Gilly replied, refusing to either agree or disagree, "We should still tell mom and dad about them. That way we can at least take them to the vet to get some shots to help them and make sure they can't make more babies that will turn out to be strays.
"Perhaps. I have heard of groups that do stuff like that to reduce the amount of street animals." I considered.
Gilly smiled widely at that, and she did a small jump of joy when the rock and shelf house came into sight.
"That's the house we built. They might not be there at the moment, but they usually don't go too far. We can wait until they get back." I warned her before I released her hand.
If I had known what awaited us, I would have never let go. Gilly bolted at an acceptable speed towards the shelter before slowing to a slow pace right as she got upon it. Eager myself to see how Autumn, November, and their mother were doing, I knelt down by my sister right as she went wholly rigid.
"Are they not here?" I asked.
Completely unaware of what I would find, I continued to hunch over. Snow tainted a suspicious color of scarlet red screamed the first signal that something was wrong. A little more peeking revealed the three cats were at their house. And they were all dead. Horrifyingly, they weren't just dead. They had been killed. Not by another animal as one might expect. Nooses from thin rope choked their necks, the other end of the rope wound tightly around nails hammered into the ground. Lying on their backs, their stomachs were carved deep open until the white of their spines could be seen. There they rest in a neat line with eyes bulging and mouths hanging wide open in a silent scream.
Gilly said nothing. She shook with an intensity I'd never seen while tears pooled and pooled in her eyes. They broke forth as total silence engulfed her, and it took several suffocating long seconds before the sobs began. Me, I just stared. I didn't blink as I took in the sight before me without missing a single gruesome detail. I had studied some pretty serious medical textbooks. I had seen blood and the true inner workings of the body. This was different, sure, yet all I felt was calm. When my eyes finally wrenched themselves away from the carnage, I glanced around thoroughly to make sure no one was hiding nearby. It was hard to imagine someone just stumbling upon the cats and deciding to do this, but the animals had been like this for only about a day if the amount of snow on them was anything to go by. The culprit would have been able to figure out someone clearly built the shelter, although I doubted they knew who specifically since it'd been over a week since anyone had been here. Still, if they could do something like this, it could be entirely possible they'd lurk around awaiting to see who came by.
The only one who approached was Timber. Not used to the amount of snow Berrybrook had, he'd also been slow going up the hills. Now he caught up with a uncertain gait and frown on his face. I stood up with numb legs.
"What's wrong?" he asked with great concern.
"The cats are dead." I revealed, unsure if my voice was truly as quiet as it sounded in my head.
"Dead?" Timber questioned in soft shock, "Did they freeze?"
I shook my head and struggled to answer.
"No, they...someone killed them. Rather brutally." I forced out.
A deeper frown and unsettled expression took over my friend as he carefully bent until he, too, saw for himself the poor state of our strays.
"Gilly, it'll be alright," he addressed my sister slowly, rubbing her shoulders, "Can you stand? I think we should go back to your house. Lingering around right here isn't a good idea."
Gilly nodded as several more sobs escaped her lips. Timber helped her stand, and she leaned heavily against me as we instantly retracted our footsteps away from the area.
The trek home was never-ending, but we walked through the front door in what felt like the blink of an eye. The attitude of the adults heavily contrasted ours. Mom and grandpa were having a grand old time jokingly make fun of the other as they played a game of pool. Dad sat nearby with a big smile on his face as he observed and joined in on the teasing where he saw the opportunity.
"You three came back really quickly. Too cold outside?" he asked before he got the chance to see us properly.
Timber and I, we probably looked fine. Gilly, though, she continued to sniffle something awful as she rubbed at the lingering tears adamant about dropping down her cheeks.
"Gilly, what's wrong?" dad then questioned with worry.
"We saw a dead cat along the side of the road." I went ahead with the lie.
A wiser person would have told the truth. Seeing what we had seen, the need to let the adults know there was someone doing that kind of stuff near where we lived was more important than me keeping secret all the times I'd gone off on my own without permission. However, I stood there aware of Timber's presence and the knowledge of what the next day would bring. I had to talk to him alone.
"Come here, sweetheart." dad beckoned with a sympathetic smile mom and grandpa also wore.
Gilly hurried over without a moment of pause to cuddle in his arms.
"Timber and I are going to go up to my room." I announced.
When no one immediately told me to wait, I motioned to my friend. We were off.
My incessant pacing began the instant the door was closed. Timber watched for a moment, gauging my reaction I think, but I was too busy within my mind to pay attention to him in the same way. Honestly, I don't even know what I thought in those moments. Did I think of how sad I was that Autumn, November, and their mother were gone? Did I think of what could have happened if I had brought Gilly to visit just a mere day earlier? Did I think of the chance that there could have been someone hiding and watching us that I hadn't noticed? One of those thoughts had to have passed through my head at the very least. However, it wasn't until Timber spoke that I was brought back to reality.
"Dia." he called my name.
"Timber, I don't think we should go back there tomorrow." I spoke instantly, barely giving myself enough of a pause to take a breath.
"I figured you would say that," he replied with a sad grin, "I understand if you don't want to go, but I'm still going to. Mom hasn't been all that active with the emails recently, so it's probably impossible to change our plans at such short notice. Even with how horrible what we saw was, I'm not missing my chance."
"What if that person is hanging around? What if they have no problem doing to you what they did to the cats?" I urged him desperately.
"I don't think they will be. If you do something like that, you don't wait around for others to catch you. Besides, my mom will be there."
"What if she isn't? What if she's late? What if she doesn't even show up?"
"Then I'll just keep a lookout. I won't wait around if it gets dark or starts to storm." Timber decided with unwavering determination.
Our eyes locked, and we fought silently. I watched and waited for the smallest sign he would back down, but as my eyes started to water from dryness and his appeared perfectly fine I found my resolve was the one that would waver.
"Fine. If you're still going to go, then I'll stay with the plan as well. I'll come with you." I explained.
"Dia, you-"
"Either you don't go at all, or I come with you. Those are your options." I shot him down before he could say anything else.
Timber sighed, although his smile became more genuine.
"Thanks. It does make me feel better. And I promise if there's any signs of anyone creeping about we'll leave right away."
"I can work with that." I accepted.
"Okay," Timber nodded, "How about for now we stop thinking about it all for a bit? I brought some snacks and juice. Orange juice, to be specific."
"That is my favorite. I'd love some."
From his bag, Timber produced some juice packets and bags of various snacks such a trail mix, cheesy popcorn, chocolate malt balls, and cinnamon drops. The two of us sat on my bed and ate in silence. I desperately wanted to ask what my friend was thinking, but we were supposed to be taking a break from that kind of thinking.
My opportunity passed entirely when Blaze knocked on the door. Mr. Mountain was calling for Timber on the home phone, so he took off for a moment. He revealed when he came back that his dad's plans for the day had changed, and he needed Timber home earlier than expected. Timber passed to me the rest of the juice and snacks, we gave each other a quick hug, and he was gone. Left by myself, I grabbed another thing of juice and stood outside my window to watch his dad's car disappear down the road. Then, I just kept watching. I looked at my grandparents' house across the street. I watched Uncle Frost and Aunt Sunflower putter about in theirs. I grew mesmerized by the light snow beginning to fall, and the mountainous horizon captivated the rest of my attention. The strange calmness had never departed me for a second even with all my worries, so when half the juice packets were gone I proceeded to go about my day as if nothing happened.
I went downstairs to see how Gilly was doing. She'd taken over grandpa's turns playing pool with mom while grandpa took care of our lazy lunch. I didn't eat much of that due to the snacks and excessive amount of juice, but I enjoyed the company of my family. Dad called me up to his and mom's room afterwards, and the last thing I expected was for him to suddenly scoop me up into his arms like he hadn't done for a while now.
"Hi there." I giggled, a real smile breaking onto my face since my sister, friend, and I had gone up to the lake.
"Hi." dad replied with his own silly smile.
"Is there something I can do for you?"
"I just wanted to make sure you were alright." he explained, slightly more serious.
"Yeah? I'm fine. You were worried?" I asked, tilting my head.
"Gil was pretty upset about the cat. Sometimes you're not so obvious as her about telling us when you're upset, so I just wanted to make sure."
"I am fine." I promised, certain that was the answer.
"Alright. Can you tell me more about the cat though? Gilly said it looked like it might have been killed on purpose?" dad wondered.
"It was hard to tell, but I got a better look at it than she did. She obviously didn't want to get too close," I would have panicked more at perhaps telling a conflicting lie, but I had gotten rather skilled in the art of deception recently, "The way it was injured could have been from someone cutting it, but I thought it looked more like it had gotten caught in the underpart of a car. Animals could have picked open the wounds more too."
"I see. That's, well, good, I suppose, to hear then. Someone in town going around killing animals is never a good sign."
"Have other animals been killed recently?" I asked with deep curiosity.
"Oh no, I just meant in general terms."
"Oh, okay."
The conversation trailed off for a moment. I gave dad a moment to see if there was anything else he needed to say, but there didn't appear to be.
"Is there a reason you picked me up?" I went after the obvious with another smile.
"Just realized when I was cuddling with Gil that you two are getting bigger. Won't be able to do this for much longer, so I wanted to steal a hug while the opportunity was there." dad laughed.
"Well then, here's a hug from me," I began merrily, giving him a normal squeeze before giving him a much larger and longer one, "And that one is from grandma."
"Thanks," dad said in content, returning the embrace, "It's been a while since I've had one of those."
I gave him a few more. He tried to hide the sadness in his expression from me, but it was too hard for him to push back entirely. Mentioning grandma during the rest of the year generally didn't have too much impact on the members of my family. During the holidays, around her birthday, near the date of her death, or when her and grandpa's wedding anniversary came though everyone tended to react a bit more heartbroken. It hurt me more than I anticipated mentioning her as well. In particular, it was the look of longing on dad's expression. I did often think of him as old given that he was my dad, but he was only in his thirties. He had only been in his twenties when grandma died. I thought about losing mom at the same age as him, and boy did it sting something awful. My mind went back to the words Timber spoke to me- wouldn't I want to see my mom again if we were separated? Determination and resolve flared in my chest anew. It hurt so much to think of mom being gone. I loathed having to watch my dad, uncles, and aunts crave their mother they would never see again. I had the chance to lessen that pain for someone else. I wouldn't let anything stop me.
That why I knocked on Ember's door first thing the next morning. If I wanted to do this day right, I had to be prepared for anything. That meant lessening all risks no matter how much I knew getting my sister to agree to the favor I would ask being a long shot.
"You want to borrow my phone for the day?" she asked with the obvious incredulous exasperation I expected.
"Not all day. Just until I get back from visiting Timber."
"Which is basically going to be all day. Why do you need a phone if you're just going over to play at his house? Just use his home phone is you have to make a call."
"I might not be able to use that one."
"What in the world are you two going to be getting up to?" my sister asked with extreme suspicion.
"I'm not at liberty to say."
"Let me get this right. You say you're going to visit Timber's, but instead of just hanging out at his house you're probably going to be getting up to something you're not supposed to. You want my phone for some strange part in this, and I feel it safe to assume that you won't want me to mention a word of this to anyone regardless of if I agree to this or not."
"If that's the conclusion you've come to, sure." I shrugged indifferently.
Ember sighed heavily. She stared at me with a hard look I refused to shrink under, and after a moment she slowly pulled her phone out of her pocket.
"I will do this. I will allow you use of my phone today, and I will keep my silence. This is because I am incredibly low on money at the moment and haven't gotten you a Christmas present yet. Me doing this favor for you is going to be the majority of your present. If you get in trouble and the adults wonder why you have my phone, you say you took it without asking. Also, no snooping on it whatsoever."
"Deal."
I snatched the phone she offered before Ember could change her mind. She continued to give me that hard gaze even after I thanked her, hugged her, and started to leave the room, but I was satisfied.
Gilly, still lazily in bed, ignored me as I puttered about getting ready to leave. I could have waved the phone in front of her face before slipping it into my pocket, and she would have been none the wiser. Upon laving my room, I held my head high. Now there was no reason to worry. If anything seemed like it was about to go wrong, Timber and I had a means in which to request help. Although, perhaps my body hadn't caught up to my mindset just yet. My head swarmed a little as I went ever so slightly lightheaded walking down the stairs. A faintest ache of pressure against my temples manifested, and I found myself yawning repeatedly. Surely it was the result of lingering stress. I didn't feel sick otherwise.
"Are you feeling alright, Dia?"
Not that that stopped mom from supposing that very thing.
"I'm just a little sleepier than normal this morning," I waved off the symptoms, burying another yawn, "Gilly and I stayed up late last night prepping presents and talking."
"You were rubbing your head though as if you have a headache." she pointed out, feeling my forehead for a fever.
"Just trying to get the blood flowing there better to wake up."
"Does that work?" mom laughed a little, removing her hand after feeling no signs of a temperature, "I've never heard of doing that to wake yourself up."
"I know if you hang yourself upside down over the edge of a bed that helps. I'm thinking this might do something similar."
"I might have to try hanging off my bed sometime then. I've been drinking far too much coffee recently." mom kept speaking in amusement.
She continued to check me over, and eventually reality became clear.
"Alright, you don't look sick to me. If you start to feel bad though, make sure you tell Russet right away."
"Of course." I replied brightly.
Mom got her coat, and we were off. I didn't attempt to make a lot of conversation as I instead kept an eye on the sky. It was cloudy, yet there were enough patches of blue sky to allow sunshine to peek through. If it did snow today, it hopefully wouldn't be bad. Everything was working out well so far. The lightheaded feeling and small throbbing against my skull persisted even when mom dropped me off at Timber's place, but it was easy enough to ignore. More of my focus went into acting normally in hanging out with Timber that morning. Those hours dragged slowly as I did wonder if Mr. Mountain would somehow just grow wise to everything without any explanation. Thankfully, nothing ridiculous like that did happen. Timber and I played, and the big moment eventually came.
"Alright, I'm heading to my lunch meeting now," Mr. Mountain announced as he grabbed his coat, "I should be there for an hour, and then my boss is having me assist our client in scouting out empty lots for her project. That will probably take two hours. I'll be having Mrs. Jubilee next door check on you two around 2. If you need anything, ask her or you can use the phone to call your parents, Dia. I've thawed out that package of pizza turnovers for you two to eat. You're just getting the one package, okay, Timber?"
"Okay." Timber replied with a fake, annoyed disappointment I knew was there to throw his father off that today Timber couldn't have cared less about pizza turnovers.
"I mean it," Mr. Mountain pressed jovially, "Just the one. If I come home to find out all three bags are gone again, that's one Christmas present docked from your haul."
"But what if Dia and I get really, really hungry?" Timber kept up the act.
"I made a lot of a carrot salad the other day. You can have that."
I genuinely stuck my tongue out, which made him laugh.
"There's also some apples, and hamburgers, and stuff for sandwiches, and pretzels and chips, and a whole fridge of food. Seriously, I don't care what you eat as long as you don't touch those turnovers." Mr. Mountain concluded.
"Fine." Timber agreed with a perfectly exaggerated sigh.
The conversation ended with some 'Love you's between Timber and his dad and some goodbyes between me and his dad. Mr. Mountain walked out the door without a single suspicion, and that was when my heart began to beat. I grabbed my coat and set a timer on Ember's phone to give Timber and I warning of when we had to leave to make it back to the house before Mrs. Jubilee was due to check on us. Timber suggested we wait ten minutes before we went out just in case his dad drove back after forgetting his wallet or something. We did just that, and as the street remained empty of any cars ten minutes later the two of us took a deep breath before heading out. Guilt had to be pushed back once more. It really hadn't been too long past my tenth birthday where my parents had given me more independence. Walking around without an adult, staying at a friend's house with no supervision...and here I was taking way too far of advantage of that. But, I mean, I'm sure my parents had done things without permission when they were my age too. They couldn't get too mad if they caught us, right?
"Dia, I do have to tell you something." Timber said as we approached the lake.
My pace had slowed as we got closer. My legs didn't seem to want to work. Breathing was harder and every moment seemed to take twice as much effort as normal. I chalked it up to dread. In our rush to leave yesterday, we had left the cats' bodies where they were. Now I had to see the poor things like that a second time. Or so I thought.
"What is it?"
"I actually came back here yesterday. I buried Autumn, November, and their mother by a tree. I took apart their house too."
"Was there anyone else with you?"
"Of course not. How could I tell dad about the cats without revealing things I couldn't reveal?"
"I don't like the idea of you having been here by yourself when we still have no idea who did that to the cats." I rebuked lightly.
"Well, I already did it, and I'm fine," Timber said with a shrug, "I had to do it too. How could I just leave them there?"
"I still don't like it, but I do appreciate it..." I had to mumble in acceptance.
And there we were. Back at the lake. More snow coated the ground, and the landscape was pure white and smooth. The shelves and rocks were nowhere to be seen when I glanced hesitantly to the corner by the bathrooms. Not a single shred of evidence remained of the crime. Logic did scream at me subconsciously that we should have at least taken a picture. People should have been made aware of what went down. Here Timber and I were hiding a potential threat for our own reasons.
"I buried them by this tree." Timber led me to the other side of the lots and out of my uncertainties, "There's a nice view of the ocean, and this tree just seemed the nicest. Looks like the new snow has already covered up the mound though."
I said nothing. I stood in silence unsure of what to do. We had gotten to the lake early. Perhaps I could make some sort of headstone or maker for the grave while Timber and I waited. I certainly needed something to do to stave off the slowly crescendoing bundle of nerves that was my chest. This was the day the work paid off. It didn't feel real.
Timber and I took turns being the more nervous one. He would look a total wreck, and I would seem indifferent. I would lose my composure, and he would find his. Ember's phone was constantly pulled out of my pocket to check the time, and I had to turn it to silent in order to ignore the texts from her friends that caused me to pull it out even more. I probably should have let her let them know they wouldn't be able to reach her today, but I suppose there was nothing I could do about that now.
"I wonder if the surface will freeze enough for people to skate on." Timber offered for a topic as we stood on the small dock minutes before his mother was due to appear.
"Apple says it does sometimes, but most of the time it remains like this."
We glanced down at the lake. Solid ice rimmed the outer edge of the water, but the majority remained more of an icy mush that lazily floated on the calm surface.
"I've heard that people used to do polar bear swims here." I pressed forward, the cold air beginning to sting my throat.
"People are crazy." Timber laughed nervously.
"Lots of people are crazy. The event got so big they moved it down to the ocean shore instead." I did my best to laugh like normal.
Words grew impossible a moment later. Timber basically leaned against the dock's railing and became a statue. My eyes grew glued to the clock, and I swore I forgot how to breathe when the time arrived. It was the hour of the day Timber's mom agreed to meet us. The two of us were here, and she was supposed to arrive any second. I wondered if she would be driving up the hill or walking. There really wasn't any parking nearby, which was part of the reason a lot of people didn't come here. She might not know that though. I wondered what would happen after Timber and I were forced to go back to his house. Would Timber and his mom keep in secret contact, or would she declare to Mr. Mountain that she wouldn't be forced away anymore? What if it was the case that Mr. Mountain was the one in the wrong about this whole situation? What if Timber wanted to go live with his mom instead? I hadn't thought about that at all. If it made him happy...
Neither of us were happy then. The clock ticked a minute past the meeting time. Timber paced madly while I walked in a large circle around the lake. I had to move. I was too tense, too overwhelmed. My lungs were not being permitted to breathe properly if the ever growing dizziness I experienced was anything to go off of. My limbs shook harder while everything started to go numb.
"Please let her show up soon," I prayed to the cats' grave, "Timber really needs this. He should be able to have his mom in his life."
Nothing happened, unfortunately, other than that pain really began to pound against my head now. A furious, bitter wind roared by, and the frozen tips of my ears cried for warmth while my skull winced as if I'd beaten my head against the tree. My vision swarmed. One tree became two, and I feared for a second that I was falling even though I stood still. I couldn't deny any longer that something was off with me. Whether I was getting sick, whether the cold was causing it, whether it was the nerves getting to me, or whether it was a combination of all of that, my condition was steadily deteriorating. Ember's phone showed that Timber's mom was already ten minutes late. He and I had about an hour before we needed to head back. I wasn't sure if it was alright for me to wait that long, but I could hold out a bit more.
It was the weather that was growing worse fast. It had been too long now since there had been the slightest patch of blue in the sky. The temperature dropped and dropped, and I had to scrunch my toes inside my boots just to remind my body they were still there. No snow fell yet, but it definitely wouldn't be long before the world was drenched in more white. Shuffling over to the dock to see what Timber wanted to do, my heart hurt more than the rest of me did at his expression when he looked at his watch.
"She's late." he spoke the obvious with wide eyes full of worry and hints of betrayal.
"It'll be alright," I comforted, "This place is hard to get to even for those of us who know the way. She's probably just taking it slower on the slick roads. There's always the chance traffic is slowing her down as well. Maybe her flight even came in late."
"Yeah, yeah, that's true," Timber acknowledged somewhat reluctantly, "What should we do if she's super late though? We don't really have that much time before we have to go, and there's no way I'd be able to see her later in the day."
"Then we'll work with her like we did before to find another chance for you two to meet. She's your mother. She definitely wants to see you, so she'll find a way to plan with us until everything works out."
"What if she doesn't though? What if she decided it was too much effort?" Timber started to break, "She hasn't replied to my emails in over a week. Dia, what if she's not coming?"
"If she did something stupid like that, then I will personally walk to her house if I have to and drag her here. I'm not going to let her get away with being a coward."
Timber didn't appear entirely convinced, but he did look a little more confident.
"Thanks. You're a good friend," he said softly, "I'm going to go wait over there closer to the road."
Although I contemplated going with him, I stayed back. Timber deserved to have his mother see him first. I was just a name to her. Breathing slower in a rhythmic pattern lessened the unsteady state of my mind, yet my head continued to flare and pulse. The cold of the wind seriously did not help. My poor ears begged for mercy from the unrelenting gusts, and the stinging air scalded my lungs. I warmed my ears up with my hands as best as I could, but it did little. My whole body felt detached from itself. Shakily, I slipped out my sister's phone one more time. I had weathered another ten minutes. Realizing I had the ability to call a cab, I worked out that I could wait another ten more before revealing to Timber that I wasn't doing as well as I wanted.
So focused on myself and my inability to feel better at the moment, things I shouldn't have forgotten went forgotten. Mainly, I forgot to worry about keeping a lookout. So much concern had gone into waiting for Timber's mom that potential danger lurking about escaped my thoughts. It wasn't until those ten minutes passed that I got any sort of reminder. At the end of those ten minutes, I knew I couldn't wait any longer. I could barely feel an inch of my body save for my head, which stung and burned and pounded all at once.
"T-Timber?" my teeth chattered as I turned around to let him know I had to get somewhere warm.
However, he was nowhere to be found. I only panicked slightly at first. Sure he had been standing there near the road in clear sight before, but he could have just moved behind the nearby rock.
"Timber?"
All my energy went into the call. Even in my dizzy state, I knew I had spoken loud enough for him to hear me without fail. Timber honestly should have been able to hear me no matter where he was on the lot. There was no reason for him not to answer. Unless he was playing a prank.
Or unless he had been taken away from the lake.
"Timber!"
The wind carried my call far and wide, yet the screaming whistle of the moving air was all that replied. Panic took hold immediately. Crippling nausea came next. All of a sudden, my stomach lurched as if kicked from within. An empty gag seared my chest, yet my throat locked up so much so that even as my stomach calmed enough to release a mere dull pain I couldn't squeak any air into my lungs. I twisted and rocked, and only when I teetered on the edge of everything going black did my body allow me to pull in ragged breaths.
"Timber, w-where are you?" I pleaded to know.
I expected the response I got, which was still nothing. Small pinpricks of tears tickled my cheeks with larger ones about to follow. The pain escalating from my head matched with the freezing numbness of my body, the warped shapes that were now my sight, the disappointment of there being no sign of Timber's mother, and now my friend's possible disappearance was the cause. Terrified and knowing my ability to do anything was slipping away from me quickly, enough logic from my brain powered through it all to remind me I had asked Ember for her phone for a specific reason. It was there in case things went wrong, and things were going very wrong from my perspective indeed.
Unfortunately, that was only how things would go. It took me several seconds of staring at Ember's phone lying in the snow that I'd dropped it. I hadn't even pulled it out of my pocket yet, had I? I must have. There it sat getting wet, and there I stood swaying as the world took on a suspicious dark tint. The clouds couldn't collect that fast. It surely had to be me. All the things going wrong really went out of control when I tried to pick up my sister's phone. The whole world went upside down as I bent over. I stood in the sky with the earth below me, and my hand grasped my stomach as I swirled and flipped in my too rapid attempt to fix the problem by standing. What in the world was I sick with that was causing this to happen? I was at least able to figure out that this was far too bizarre. Whatever afflicted me had come on incredibly fast with symptoms I couldn't place. Was this really what it felt like to pass out?
I couldn't find the phone. As soon as I stood, I resolved to not even look down again. Just a simple turn of my head spun the world in circles. If I glimpsed a bit to my right, somehow I looked at the lake behind me. I thought it was behind me anyway. I had done my best to start making my way off the dock. There was a bench nearby close to the road. If I could simply sit down...
Was I even moving? I took a step, reached for the dock's railing, and found nothing but air. It should have been right there. With all of my effort behind me, I scrambled forward again. I smacked hard against the railing I swore hadn't been in front of me. So then I had to be facing the cats' grave since the road was on my left. Or was it on my right? Which side was my right again? Why did I keep seeing the lake when I continued to turn towards the road? Why wouldn't everything stop moving? All I saw was one, shifting blur that lagged and staggered as the smallest of my movements felt like I trudged through glue.
Determined to win, I ended up the miserable loser. I turned only to stumbled against the railing once more. What I found when I desperately searched out the best way to go was total blackness. It came from nowhere. With it came the sensation of flying. Or was it falling? Both. It felt like both. I was weightless, and I was breathless. My mouth opened and my lungs took in something, but the stuffed feeling my head didn't like wouldn't go away. I finally gave in and gave up. I had been stupid to try to make it to the bench. I should have just sat down where I was. At least I was resting against something now. The ground beneath me was soft and squishy, although it didn't feel like snow.
And it all worked out in the end. I think. Just as I was about to let myself fall asleep, a great force lifted me up from where I lay. Up and up we went, I definitely flew then, until light tickled my eyelids and, after a moment, I cough and coughed and was able to draw in proper air. Cracking open my eyes was a terrible idea though. Everything remained a nauseating blue. Still, Mr. Mountain was there. Timber stood right by his side as well. Good. Timber was fine. Mr. Mountain certainly sounded upset, but I could accept that. Timber and I had messed up big time, and I would accept whatever punishment we earned with grace. I simply needed a bit more sleep first.
That why I knocked on Ember's door first thing the next morning. If I wanted to do this day right, I had to be prepared for anything. That meant lessening all risks no matter how much I knew getting my sister to agree to the favor I would ask being a long shot.
"You want to borrow my phone for the day?" she asked with the obvious incredulous exasperation I expected.
"Not all day. Just until I get back from visiting Timber."
"Which is basically going to be all day. Why do you need a phone if you're just going over to play at his house? Just use his home phone is you have to make a call."
"I might not be able to use that one."
"What in the world are you two going to be getting up to?" my sister asked with extreme suspicion.
"I'm not at liberty to say."
"Let me get this right. You say you're going to visit Timber's, but instead of just hanging out at his house you're probably going to be getting up to something you're not supposed to. You want my phone for some strange part in this, and I feel it safe to assume that you won't want me to mention a word of this to anyone regardless of if I agree to this or not."
"If that's the conclusion you've come to, sure." I shrugged indifferently.
Ember sighed heavily. She stared at me with a hard look I refused to shrink under, and after a moment she slowly pulled her phone out of her pocket.
"I will do this. I will allow you use of my phone today, and I will keep my silence. This is because I am incredibly low on money at the moment and haven't gotten you a Christmas present yet. Me doing this favor for you is going to be the majority of your present. If you get in trouble and the adults wonder why you have my phone, you say you took it without asking. Also, no snooping on it whatsoever."
"Deal."
I snatched the phone she offered before Ember could change her mind. She continued to give me that hard gaze even after I thanked her, hugged her, and started to leave the room, but I was satisfied.
Gilly, still lazily in bed, ignored me as I puttered about getting ready to leave. I could have waved the phone in front of her face before slipping it into my pocket, and she would have been none the wiser. Upon laving my room, I held my head high. Now there was no reason to worry. If anything seemed like it was about to go wrong, Timber and I had a means in which to request help. Although, perhaps my body hadn't caught up to my mindset just yet. My head swarmed a little as I went ever so slightly lightheaded walking down the stairs. A faintest ache of pressure against my temples manifested, and I found myself yawning repeatedly. Surely it was the result of lingering stress. I didn't feel sick otherwise.
"Are you feeling alright, Dia?"
Not that that stopped mom from supposing that very thing.
"I'm just a little sleepier than normal this morning," I waved off the symptoms, burying another yawn, "Gilly and I stayed up late last night prepping presents and talking."
"You were rubbing your head though as if you have a headache." she pointed out, feeling my forehead for a fever.
"Just trying to get the blood flowing there better to wake up."
"Does that work?" mom laughed a little, removing her hand after feeling no signs of a temperature, "I've never heard of doing that to wake yourself up."
"I know if you hang yourself upside down over the edge of a bed that helps. I'm thinking this might do something similar."
"I might have to try hanging off my bed sometime then. I've been drinking far too much coffee recently." mom kept speaking in amusement.
She continued to check me over, and eventually reality became clear.
"Alright, you don't look sick to me. If you start to feel bad though, make sure you tell Russet right away."
"Of course." I replied brightly.
Mom got her coat, and we were off. I didn't attempt to make a lot of conversation as I instead kept an eye on the sky. It was cloudy, yet there were enough patches of blue sky to allow sunshine to peek through. If it did snow today, it hopefully wouldn't be bad. Everything was working out well so far. The lightheaded feeling and small throbbing against my skull persisted even when mom dropped me off at Timber's place, but it was easy enough to ignore. More of my focus went into acting normally in hanging out with Timber that morning. Those hours dragged slowly as I did wonder if Mr. Mountain would somehow just grow wise to everything without any explanation. Thankfully, nothing ridiculous like that did happen. Timber and I played, and the big moment eventually came.
"Alright, I'm heading to my lunch meeting now," Mr. Mountain announced as he grabbed his coat, "I should be there for an hour, and then my boss is having me assist our client in scouting out empty lots for her project. That will probably take two hours. I'll be having Mrs. Jubilee next door check on you two around 2. If you need anything, ask her or you can use the phone to call your parents, Dia. I've thawed out that package of pizza turnovers for you two to eat. You're just getting the one package, okay, Timber?"
"Okay." Timber replied with a fake, annoyed disappointment I knew was there to throw his father off that today Timber couldn't have cared less about pizza turnovers.
"I mean it," Mr. Mountain pressed jovially, "Just the one. If I come home to find out all three bags are gone again, that's one Christmas present docked from your haul."
"But what if Dia and I get really, really hungry?" Timber kept up the act.
"I made a lot of a carrot salad the other day. You can have that."
I genuinely stuck my tongue out, which made him laugh.
"There's also some apples, and hamburgers, and stuff for sandwiches, and pretzels and chips, and a whole fridge of food. Seriously, I don't care what you eat as long as you don't touch those turnovers." Mr. Mountain concluded.
"Fine." Timber agreed with a perfectly exaggerated sigh.
The conversation ended with some 'Love you's between Timber and his dad and some goodbyes between me and his dad. Mr. Mountain walked out the door without a single suspicion, and that was when my heart began to beat. I grabbed my coat and set a timer on Ember's phone to give Timber and I warning of when we had to leave to make it back to the house before Mrs. Jubilee was due to check on us. Timber suggested we wait ten minutes before we went out just in case his dad drove back after forgetting his wallet or something. We did just that, and as the street remained empty of any cars ten minutes later the two of us took a deep breath before heading out. Guilt had to be pushed back once more. It really hadn't been too long past my tenth birthday where my parents had given me more independence. Walking around without an adult, staying at a friend's house with no supervision...and here I was taking way too far of advantage of that. But, I mean, I'm sure my parents had done things without permission when they were my age too. They couldn't get too mad if they caught us, right?
"Dia, I do have to tell you something." Timber said as we approached the lake.
My pace had slowed as we got closer. My legs didn't seem to want to work. Breathing was harder and every moment seemed to take twice as much effort as normal. I chalked it up to dread. In our rush to leave yesterday, we had left the cats' bodies where they were. Now I had to see the poor things like that a second time. Or so I thought.
"What is it?"
"I actually came back here yesterday. I buried Autumn, November, and their mother by a tree. I took apart their house too."
"Was there anyone else with you?"
"Of course not. How could I tell dad about the cats without revealing things I couldn't reveal?"
"I don't like the idea of you having been here by yourself when we still have no idea who did that to the cats." I rebuked lightly.
"Well, I already did it, and I'm fine," Timber said with a shrug, "I had to do it too. How could I just leave them there?"
"I still don't like it, but I do appreciate it..." I had to mumble in acceptance.
And there we were. Back at the lake. More snow coated the ground, and the landscape was pure white and smooth. The shelves and rocks were nowhere to be seen when I glanced hesitantly to the corner by the bathrooms. Not a single shred of evidence remained of the crime. Logic did scream at me subconsciously that we should have at least taken a picture. People should have been made aware of what went down. Here Timber and I were hiding a potential threat for our own reasons.
"I buried them by this tree." Timber led me to the other side of the lots and out of my uncertainties, "There's a nice view of the ocean, and this tree just seemed the nicest. Looks like the new snow has already covered up the mound though."
I said nothing. I stood in silence unsure of what to do. We had gotten to the lake early. Perhaps I could make some sort of headstone or maker for the grave while Timber and I waited. I certainly needed something to do to stave off the slowly crescendoing bundle of nerves that was my chest. This was the day the work paid off. It didn't feel real.
Timber and I took turns being the more nervous one. He would look a total wreck, and I would seem indifferent. I would lose my composure, and he would find his. Ember's phone was constantly pulled out of my pocket to check the time, and I had to turn it to silent in order to ignore the texts from her friends that caused me to pull it out even more. I probably should have let her let them know they wouldn't be able to reach her today, but I suppose there was nothing I could do about that now.
"I wonder if the surface will freeze enough for people to skate on." Timber offered for a topic as we stood on the small dock minutes before his mother was due to appear.
"Apple says it does sometimes, but most of the time it remains like this."
We glanced down at the lake. Solid ice rimmed the outer edge of the water, but the majority remained more of an icy mush that lazily floated on the calm surface.
"I've heard that people used to do polar bear swims here." I pressed forward, the cold air beginning to sting my throat.
"People are crazy." Timber laughed nervously.
"Lots of people are crazy. The event got so big they moved it down to the ocean shore instead." I did my best to laugh like normal.
Words grew impossible a moment later. Timber basically leaned against the dock's railing and became a statue. My eyes grew glued to the clock, and I swore I forgot how to breathe when the time arrived. It was the hour of the day Timber's mom agreed to meet us. The two of us were here, and she was supposed to arrive any second. I wondered if she would be driving up the hill or walking. There really wasn't any parking nearby, which was part of the reason a lot of people didn't come here. She might not know that though. I wondered what would happen after Timber and I were forced to go back to his house. Would Timber and his mom keep in secret contact, or would she declare to Mr. Mountain that she wouldn't be forced away anymore? What if it was the case that Mr. Mountain was the one in the wrong about this whole situation? What if Timber wanted to go live with his mom instead? I hadn't thought about that at all. If it made him happy...
Neither of us were happy then. The clock ticked a minute past the meeting time. Timber paced madly while I walked in a large circle around the lake. I had to move. I was too tense, too overwhelmed. My lungs were not being permitted to breathe properly if the ever growing dizziness I experienced was anything to go off of. My limbs shook harder while everything started to go numb.
"Please let her show up soon," I prayed to the cats' grave, "Timber really needs this. He should be able to have his mom in his life."
Nothing happened, unfortunately, other than that pain really began to pound against my head now. A furious, bitter wind roared by, and the frozen tips of my ears cried for warmth while my skull winced as if I'd beaten my head against the tree. My vision swarmed. One tree became two, and I feared for a second that I was falling even though I stood still. I couldn't deny any longer that something was off with me. Whether I was getting sick, whether the cold was causing it, whether it was the nerves getting to me, or whether it was a combination of all of that, my condition was steadily deteriorating. Ember's phone showed that Timber's mom was already ten minutes late. He and I had about an hour before we needed to head back. I wasn't sure if it was alright for me to wait that long, but I could hold out a bit more.
It was the weather that was growing worse fast. It had been too long now since there had been the slightest patch of blue in the sky. The temperature dropped and dropped, and I had to scrunch my toes inside my boots just to remind my body they were still there. No snow fell yet, but it definitely wouldn't be long before the world was drenched in more white. Shuffling over to the dock to see what Timber wanted to do, my heart hurt more than the rest of me did at his expression when he looked at his watch.
"She's late." he spoke the obvious with wide eyes full of worry and hints of betrayal.
"It'll be alright," I comforted, "This place is hard to get to even for those of us who know the way. She's probably just taking it slower on the slick roads. There's always the chance traffic is slowing her down as well. Maybe her flight even came in late."
"Yeah, yeah, that's true," Timber acknowledged somewhat reluctantly, "What should we do if she's super late though? We don't really have that much time before we have to go, and there's no way I'd be able to see her later in the day."
"Then we'll work with her like we did before to find another chance for you two to meet. She's your mother. She definitely wants to see you, so she'll find a way to plan with us until everything works out."
"What if she doesn't though? What if she decided it was too much effort?" Timber started to break, "She hasn't replied to my emails in over a week. Dia, what if she's not coming?"
"If she did something stupid like that, then I will personally walk to her house if I have to and drag her here. I'm not going to let her get away with being a coward."
Timber didn't appear entirely convinced, but he did look a little more confident.
"Thanks. You're a good friend," he said softly, "I'm going to go wait over there closer to the road."
Although I contemplated going with him, I stayed back. Timber deserved to have his mother see him first. I was just a name to her. Breathing slower in a rhythmic pattern lessened the unsteady state of my mind, yet my head continued to flare and pulse. The cold of the wind seriously did not help. My poor ears begged for mercy from the unrelenting gusts, and the stinging air scalded my lungs. I warmed my ears up with my hands as best as I could, but it did little. My whole body felt detached from itself. Shakily, I slipped out my sister's phone one more time. I had weathered another ten minutes. Realizing I had the ability to call a cab, I worked out that I could wait another ten more before revealing to Timber that I wasn't doing as well as I wanted.
So focused on myself and my inability to feel better at the moment, things I shouldn't have forgotten went forgotten. Mainly, I forgot to worry about keeping a lookout. So much concern had gone into waiting for Timber's mom that potential danger lurking about escaped my thoughts. It wasn't until those ten minutes passed that I got any sort of reminder. At the end of those ten minutes, I knew I couldn't wait any longer. I could barely feel an inch of my body save for my head, which stung and burned and pounded all at once.
"T-Timber?" my teeth chattered as I turned around to let him know I had to get somewhere warm.
However, he was nowhere to be found. I only panicked slightly at first. Sure he had been standing there near the road in clear sight before, but he could have just moved behind the nearby rock.
"Timber?"
All my energy went into the call. Even in my dizzy state, I knew I had spoken loud enough for him to hear me without fail. Timber honestly should have been able to hear me no matter where he was on the lot. There was no reason for him not to answer. Unless he was playing a prank.
Or unless he had been taken away from the lake.
"Timber!"
The wind carried my call far and wide, yet the screaming whistle of the moving air was all that replied. Panic took hold immediately. Crippling nausea came next. All of a sudden, my stomach lurched as if kicked from within. An empty gag seared my chest, yet my throat locked up so much so that even as my stomach calmed enough to release a mere dull pain I couldn't squeak any air into my lungs. I twisted and rocked, and only when I teetered on the edge of everything going black did my body allow me to pull in ragged breaths.
"Timber, w-where are you?" I pleaded to know.
I expected the response I got, which was still nothing. Small pinpricks of tears tickled my cheeks with larger ones about to follow. The pain escalating from my head matched with the freezing numbness of my body, the warped shapes that were now my sight, the disappointment of there being no sign of Timber's mother, and now my friend's possible disappearance was the cause. Terrified and knowing my ability to do anything was slipping away from me quickly, enough logic from my brain powered through it all to remind me I had asked Ember for her phone for a specific reason. It was there in case things went wrong, and things were going very wrong from my perspective indeed.
Unfortunately, that was only how things would go. It took me several seconds of staring at Ember's phone lying in the snow that I'd dropped it. I hadn't even pulled it out of my pocket yet, had I? I must have. There it sat getting wet, and there I stood swaying as the world took on a suspicious dark tint. The clouds couldn't collect that fast. It surely had to be me. All the things going wrong really went out of control when I tried to pick up my sister's phone. The whole world went upside down as I bent over. I stood in the sky with the earth below me, and my hand grasped my stomach as I swirled and flipped in my too rapid attempt to fix the problem by standing. What in the world was I sick with that was causing this to happen? I was at least able to figure out that this was far too bizarre. Whatever afflicted me had come on incredibly fast with symptoms I couldn't place. Was this really what it felt like to pass out?
I couldn't find the phone. As soon as I stood, I resolved to not even look down again. Just a simple turn of my head spun the world in circles. If I glimpsed a bit to my right, somehow I looked at the lake behind me. I thought it was behind me anyway. I had done my best to start making my way off the dock. There was a bench nearby close to the road. If I could simply sit down...
Was I even moving? I took a step, reached for the dock's railing, and found nothing but air. It should have been right there. With all of my effort behind me, I scrambled forward again. I smacked hard against the railing I swore hadn't been in front of me. So then I had to be facing the cats' grave since the road was on my left. Or was it on my right? Which side was my right again? Why did I keep seeing the lake when I continued to turn towards the road? Why wouldn't everything stop moving? All I saw was one, shifting blur that lagged and staggered as the smallest of my movements felt like I trudged through glue.
Determined to win, I ended up the miserable loser. I turned only to stumbled against the railing once more. What I found when I desperately searched out the best way to go was total blackness. It came from nowhere. With it came the sensation of flying. Or was it falling? Both. It felt like both. I was weightless, and I was breathless. My mouth opened and my lungs took in something, but the stuffed feeling my head didn't like wouldn't go away. I finally gave in and gave up. I had been stupid to try to make it to the bench. I should have just sat down where I was. At least I was resting against something now. The ground beneath me was soft and squishy, although it didn't feel like snow.
And it all worked out in the end. I think. Just as I was about to let myself fall asleep, a great force lifted me up from where I lay. Up and up we went, I definitely flew then, until light tickled my eyelids and, after a moment, I cough and coughed and was able to draw in proper air. Cracking open my eyes was a terrible idea though. Everything remained a nauseating blue. Still, Mr. Mountain was there. Timber stood right by his side as well. Good. Timber was fine. Mr. Mountain certainly sounded upset, but I could accept that. Timber and I had messed up big time, and I would accept whatever punishment we earned with grace. I simply needed a bit more sleep first.
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