Gen One- Chapter Twenty Seven

I walked out of the store, not too particularly fond of the weight on my ears. I normally didn't wear earrings. If I did, they were usually of the stud variety or either very light. As you might suppose, my ears didn't like most metals that earrings came in. Any extra weight the earrings carried only made my lobes more sore than what they would be when the redness set in. Currently, I only had two pairs that I could wear safely. The ones I had on at that moment were already bothering my skin, but I knew I wouldn't be wearing them long anyway.

     "How do they look?" I asked my companion.

     "They look fine? I mean, they really don't look any different from when you asked that question inside the store thirty seconds ago." Allium answered with slight exasperation.

     "I just wanted to make sure they look alright in natural light as well as artificial light."

     "Do girls really worry about that kind of thing? Besides, you already bought them anyway."

I merely shrugged as I took the earrings out and replaced them neatly in their box.

When I glanced up, Allium was giving me that questioning look he had been wearing for quite some time now.

     "Are you still not going to tell me who they're for?" he wondered.

     "I told you- they're for a friend with an upcoming birthday." I answered with a smile.

     "But the only friend you have who's pink is Cocoa, and her birthday is in the fall. And I don't think you're buying them for me, so who else does that leave?"

     "You're just going to have to wait and find out," I said teasingly, "If she ever decides to wear them in public, that is."

     "But I wanna know now." Allium whined.

     "Patience, Charming."

I gave him a pat on the head. He sighed dramatically.

     "I spent all this time with you shopping, and you won't even let me know the answer to the mystery that's going to torture my existence for all of the next five minutes."

     "Hey, it's not like I invited you along," I laughed, "We just happened to bump into each other, remember? You didn't have to go shopping with me."

     "Still..." Allium pouted.

He was persistent with his pouting, which was normal but not really preferred at that moment. I gave him a quick peck on the cheek to cheer him up. It worked well. He forgot about the unknown recipient of the earrings and finally changed the topic.

     "So, since fate has brought us together, shall we journey to the sanctuary of pink and purple where we can remain together?" he asked in a grand manner.

     "If that's you inviting me to your house, sure. Give me a piggyback though."

     "Wait? What?" Allium dropped his facade as I shifted to press up against his back in a half attempt to get him to carry me.

     "My feet hurt, and it's a long way to walk." I explained.

     "Then you shouldn't have worn heels," Allium rolled his eyes in amusement, "And you know if I wasn't here you would have had to walk back to your house."

     "But you are here, so let me up." I giggled.

I grinned brightly when Allium scoffed but smiled too as he helped me get on his back.

     "What happened to you getting embarrassed about this kind of stuff?" he asked after he started walking.

     "Hmm, well, you're a bad influence."

     "I know this," Allium laughed, "I hope you know I'm not going to carry you all the way to my place."

     "Sure you are. You're my big, strong, adorable stud muffin"

At that, I wrapped my arms tighter around his shoulders and planted a big kiss on the side of his head.

     "I hate that you can do that." Allium said in defeat.

     "I know this." I giggled once more.

With a kiss now and then for encouragement, I did get Allium to bring me all the way to his house. I also managed to convince him that carrying me for so long got rid of his need to do his exercises for that day. The two of us were talking, laughing, and messing around when we reached his door. I was slightly disappointed when I finally had to be put down.

     "Hey, mom, Meadow's over." Allium called as we walked inside.

However, there was no response.

     "Mom?" Allium called louder.

We both waited quietly, but still nothing came. Allium walked over to his mom's room and peeked inside, but there wasn't much point. His house was rather tiny. There was no way Ms. Charm wouldn't have heard him if she was there, so the answer was that she simply wasn't there.

Allium turned to me with a slight frown.

     "She's doing this more and more now." he said.

     "Doing what?"

     "Randomly going out without telling me or leaving a note. She was here when I left, and she made no mention that she was going anywhere."

     "Ooo, suspicious."

     "I mean, I know that she's an adult and she can do whatever the hell she wants, but..." his fake, dramatic pout returned, "What if her poor, little Alli needs her? What if I get hungry?"

     "Then you make some food."

     "Yeah, but that's, like, work and stuff."

     "Oh, please!" I laughed, giving him a light push on the shoulder.

Like how it normally happened, my time with Allium became him teasing me perpetually. Most of his jokes centered around needing me to stay to cook him food until the fated day when his mother returned. Several of his plans for keeping me trapped revolved around him building a massive wall or removing the door and all the windows, which had me pointing out that both plans required much more work than him simply making his own meal. Allium shrugged at that. I went ahead and popped a bag of popcorn partly because our plan was to watch something on television but mostly to shut him up after I grew bored of his jesting. The bag didn't last long, but neither did us watching television. Leaning against his chest with his arm wrapped around me was entertainment that held my attention much better. I never even noticed when our show ended and the news began.

That was because Allium was bored of television too. His attention was focused more on sneakily bringing his head down closer to mine. Knowing he was testing the waters to see if it was safe to continue, I didn't drag out his agony. It was a rare moment when the two of us had any alone time together. Eden watched Allium like a hawk when we were at my house, and, although she didn't do the same, Ms. Charm was usually around when I visited Allium. Otherwise, our alone time had to be had in public places where I generally wasn't into smooshing my face into my boyfriend's. I was growing accepting of kissing Allium in public, but even then I certainly wouldn't kiss him then like I wanted to kiss him now. Besides just having few opportunities for us to be together, I had also been busy with my schoolwork. Knowing the information wasn't a problem, but the time consuming projects were. It had been days since I had gotten any quality smooching in, which is a lot of the reason why I assumed my little kisses earlier had been so persuasive in convincing Allium.

However, those little kisses were nowhere to be found anymore. It had been nine months since Allium and I had started dating, and especially since our trip to Wonder Light I had grown more and more accustomed to the feel of my body against Allium's. The whole thing had been a progression, us daring to get a tiny bit closer and go a little bit longer each time, until we were at our current point where there was no space between us. With Allium's arm wrapped tightly around the back of my waist, he snuggled us together perfectly. I felt contained but not trapped in that hold of his, and I was so lost in the sensation of him kissing me harder and harder that I barely noticed what else was going on. How my hand gently entwined itself in the hair at the nape of his neck. How his fingers traced against my skin. How hot I was getting. How we were continuing much further past the point where I normally cut us off.

It wasn't until I found myself suddenly half falling backwards with Allium practically pinning me against the cushions that I understood something within my resistances had broken without me knowing. I had spoken with such conviction to Eden that sleeping with Allium was the last thing I would be doing because of all the risks it carried. However, in that moment I couldn't have cared less about such things. My body was aching, craving, and desiring in ways I didn't even know it could. It was doing things I didn't know it would do. I felt lightheaded and dizzy, but in a pleasant way that had me wanting it to never end. Allium's hands, my own hands- they were getting dangerously close to places neither of us had dared to go before. The voice in the back of my head that whispered that I shouldn't be doing what I was doing grew fainter and fainter as the simple thought that I was actually doing this grew louder and louder. Allium was truly on top of me. I truly didn't want him to stop. I had been swept away, and at least in that moment nothing seemed wrong about it all. I quickly latched onto the reality that we were on the path of going all the way if something didn't change soon.

And, of course, that something did happen seconds later. For the first time ever, it was Allium who decided it was time to stop instead of me. His kissing grew softer until it ceased, his grip on me eased, and he rose so he wasn't quite so heavily on top of me.

     "Just what I thought. I can't do this," he spoke breathily with a wry grin and exasperated chuckle, "Not that I don't want to, mind you, but my mom would kill me. She might have been engaged and graduated when she and dad had me, but she still considers herself a teen parent. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten 'the talk', and it's only gotten worse since we started dating."

I let out a little laugh. I didn't dare to say anything or try to move. Allium appeared to be rapidly gaining control of himself, but my body was urging with a passion for me to pull him right back into it. I had a feeling I could pressure him into it if I did that, which would certainly be a twist from what Eden was expecting, so the last thing I intended to do was be the catalyst for restarting what Allium was trying to pull away from.

     "Of course, she could only kill me if Eden didn't get around to doing it first. Your brother actually terrifies me, you know. The whole 'dad-type figure' he has mixed in with his natural brotherly protectiveness is not a nice combination." Allium continued.

I laughed harder, which helped to let some of those aching desires evaporate.

Allium assisted me in sitting up, although he didn't let me go just yet. He held me much the same way he held me before, but he didn't kiss me anymore even though he held his face close to mine. The two of us were still able to cool off decently despite being like that, and when Allium spoke again he was much more serious than he had been.

      "I have to be honest. It's not just the fact that my mom could have walked right through the door at any point that had me stopping." he began quietly.

I stared at him curiously. From the way he normally acted and how he teased me, I had assumed that would be pretty much the only thing that would have him stopping if I ever gave him the chance like I had just done.

     "It's...just...I don't think sex is dirty or sinful or whatever you want to call it even if it's done out of marriage. Just as long as it's done with the right people with the right motives," Allium revealed, "But, despite me thinking that, I...I don't know. There's just something about you; somehow, you haven't lost that innocence everyone starts out with- at least not to me. Sleeping with you...it feels like I would tarnish you. Like I would trample all over something I should be protecting instead."

My lack of words then came about because of the warmth that spread over me- this time it being an embarrassed warmth.

     "I don't know if we'll last until marriage. I don't think it's something we should be pressuring ourselves with. However, if it's meant to be that we do reach that point, then I want to wait until then. I really do."

A longer pause filled the room. It was slightly awkward for me seeing as I had no idea what I should be saying back, but Allium didn't seem to feel awkward at all. He kept right on going spilling more little secrets of his.

     "You confuse me as much as Eden scares me, actually."
     "How so?" I finally managed to force a small something out.
     "You're sort of an enigma. You do still have that innocent, childlike aura about you, but at the same time when I look into your eyes like this you seem...'old' is not really the right word. More like 'wise'. Like the way you view the world is so different from how the rest of us see it. There's something hidden and deep within you, and I think that something is something I don't have a chance at understanding."

My eyes yanked themselves away. It was naturally impossible for him to discovers my secrets simply by looking into my eyes, but in that moment it felt like he could.

Allium suddenly smiled and gave me the tiniest of kisses on the cheek before he scooted himself back to his proper seat on the couch.

     "Sorry. You were expecting a hot, steamy session with me, not me getting all philosophical."
     "No, it's alright," I burst out laughing, "You know I just need time to think through my thoughts before I can answer back to stuff like that. I'm not as confident with my words as you are."

More like I needed time to make sure I wasn't saying anything I shouldn't be revealing. Allium opened his mouth to respond, but his phone buzzing cut him off. He pulled it out, read the text he received, and turned back to me with a different kind of expression on his face.

     "Hey, so, you know how I go to visit my mom's parents in Bayport every couple weeks?" he asked.
     "Yeah. You've got your own separate posse up there, don't you?"
     "Exactly. One of my buddies, Ochre, he's throwing a party on Friday. I'm glad he texted me about it now, because it reminded me that I wanted to ask if you would come along."

My expression instantly flattened.

     "What kind of party is it going to be?" I questioned suspiciously.
     "Just, a normal party."
     "You mean the kind with alcohol and all that good stuff?"
     "I can't promise that there won't be alcohol, because there most likely will be." he admitted sheepishly.
     "Allium," I said sternly, "I thought you didn't drink."
     "I don't! I swear! I took one tiny sip once, it seriously made me vomit, and I swore off the stuff forever!"

He pouted when I frowned harder.

     "You were just on about how you didn't want to 'tarnish my innocence', and now you want to take me to a wild teen party that involves alcohol and general debauchery?" I pointed out.
     "Debauchery. Now there's that 'wise' side coming out." Allium attempted to joke.

I wasn't having it.

     "Hey, you were just totally down for having sex with me. You're not entirely innocent." he changed his tactic.
     "Fair enough," I caved, "But that doesn't change the fact that going to a party in a city I've never been in at a house full of rowdy, drunk teenagers who I don't know sounds like the recipe for a night I'll despise."
     "It's not going to be like that. Do you really think I'd hang out with people that crazy? Okay, no, don't answer that," Allium stopped me before I could give the response we both knew I would give, "Listen. Yes, there's going to be some alcohol. However, I promise you it's not like the parties you see in television or in the movies. The few of my friends in Bayport who do happen to drink do it responsibly. The worst that's going to happen is that Dusty might entertain you with some of what he likes to call 'dancing'. No one's going to be smashed up."
     "But, again, it doesn't change the fact that there's still going to be alcohol there. What if the cops come or something? Do you really think Eden is going to let me go to a party like this?"
     "It's not going to be wild enough to get busted by the cops, and of course you wouldn't tell Eden exactly what you're up to."
     "So now you want me to lie?" I asked sternly.

Allium's optimistic attitude faltered significantly, but he wasn't giving up just yet.

     "None of my friends in Bayport think I actually have a girlfriend. They don't believe I'm dating someone as hot as you."
     "Oh my god, Al. Is that what this is about? You just want to show me off?"
     "I don't want to parade you around. I just want everyone to stop rolling their eyes and brushing me off when I try to talk to you about them. It's annoying! You'd think I'd never mentioned you to them before, which I have been doing ever since you moved here!"
     "I'm sorry, but this whole thing seems like a massive risk with no benefit for me at all. How can I say yes to something like that?"
     "What if we don't stay at the party that long? Twenty minutes or so? Just long enough for everyone to accept that we are actually dating. After that, we can go somewhere else. Bayport's nightlife is awesome, and it's filled with restaurant after restaurant that I know you would love." Allium proposed.

His smile returned when he saw I was caving. Good food was my weakness.

     "We'll stay at the party for no more than a half hour, and after that we'll spend out time doing nice, legal activities to so I can return home to Eden with a sort of clean conscience?" I laid out the plans.
     "Promise," Allium confirmed determinedly, "And I won't even leave your side at the party, if it makes you feel better."
     "Alright. If you can keep that promise, I'll go."
     "Great!" Allium cheered merrily.

I couldn't look Eden in the eye on Friday. It was easy enough making up an excuse of what I was doing, but making sure that my guilt didn't have me spilling out the truth was next to impossible. Ever since that first winter in Berrybrook, I had kept good on my word to not wander without Eden knowing where I was. That I was breaking his trust had me despising the evening long before I secretly met up with Allium so he could drive us to Bayport, for he had finally gotten his license.

I had only been to the much larger city an hour's drive north of Berrybrook once before, and Eden and I had only stopped for a moment to grab something to eat before we continued towards our destination further north. Save for me joining Sap on his family trips, Eden and I rarely left Berrybrook as a rule. Case in point, what happened in Painted Plains. My brother had assured me Bayport appeared free of Company influence though, so it wasn't that which I was worrying about. No, it was my shyness added onto my guilt that had my heart racing. Berrybrook was definitely a city, but although it had a few larger buildings it was nothing like the skyscraper landscape that Bayport was. I felt lost, buried, and overwhelmed by their magnitude as well as the throngs of people Allium led me through as he showed me the heart of the city on a walk we took before we made our way to Ochre's house.

However, I felt smaller and more scared inside Allium's friend house than I did out in the city. The music inside could be heard from all the way down the street. Cars were overflowing the driveway, and I was well overstimulated even before Allium half pushed me through the door. Inside was a nightmare. I could hardly hear my own thoughts let alone whatever Allium said to me. Already I could see drinks that certainly weren't water in the hands of the partygoers. There was a sweaty, damp scent about the house that insulted my nostrils, and there was far too much shouting and abrasive laughing for my liking. I couldn't fathom how anyone found such an atmosphere appealing.

I was on the receiving end of another small frown from Allium when he had trouble prodding me further inside. As far as I was concerned, I was attending the party just fine from where I was. Anyone Allium wanted to introduce to me could easily be brought over. He opened his mouth, probably to complain, when a friendly voice called to him.

     "Hey, Al. Glad you made it." the orange boy who approached us, who I also assumed was Ochre, said.

He and Allium did some "manly" complicated handshake I didn't understand. I then tried to hold my own as Ochre turned his attention my way.

     "Oh ho," he chuckled, "So your Meadow actually does exist. Those pictures you showed us weren't just ones you found on the internet of some girl."
     "You've known about Meadow since we were ten. I don't get why it is so hard to believe that she and I ended up together." Allium countered, although a smug grin was beginning to spread across his face.
     "Sorry. It's just that when you of all people supposedly ended up with someone as good looking as her, it was a bit too much to swallow."

Allium scoffed sarcastically and rolled his eyes at the jibe.

     "I'm Ochre, by the way." Ochre introduced himself to me, holding out his hand.
     "Meadow." I said softly, shaking it.
     "You alright there?"

Slight concern appeared in his voice. I'm sure I seemed stiff and pale.

     "To be honest, I'm not a fan of parties like this. At all. I only came along because Allium was desperate to prove that he wasn't lying." I went ahead and explained, forcing a small smile and teasing tone.
     "Well, you're in good company here despite what you might think. Perhaps once you let yourself get comfortable, you'll find you're having a good time." Ochre replied optimistically.

I nodded, but inside I doubted he would turn out to be right. Our host quickly left to go deal with some ruckus occurring upstairs, and I returned to silently protesting when Allium tried to lead me further into the house.

     "Meadow, c'mon. Why are you being so stubborn?" he asked impatiently.
     "I really don't like stuff like this," I mumbled as I glanced nervously about, "Besides, we proved I'm your girlfriend, so there's no real reason to stay any longer."
     "We only talked to Ochre, and we can't just walk in only to walk out. I do actually want to enjoy the party for a little while, and since I'm the one paying for our food and everything afterwards I think I should at least be allowed that."
     "I never demanded you pay for everything, and you made no mention of doing so until now. You're not going to guilt me into doing what you want by bringing such a thing up all of a sudden."
     "I'm not trying to-" Allium said in exasperation, sighing in a huff, "Can we not start something like this now? I'm just requesting a little bit of time- we dance a few songs, I get to talk to my friends I don't get to see often, that kind of stuff."
     "Alright," I caved, "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be uptight. I'm just incredibly nervous."
     "It's fine," Allium smiled before wrapping an arm around my shoulder, "And I'm right here."

He led me into the living room across the way that had been emptied of its furniture and replaced with a massive stereo and lots of bodies grinding and rolling out the kind of "dancing" I loathed. Allium had jokingly tried to get me to do that with him once, and I might have shoved him away harder than I intended. I hadn't realized there was a coffee table behind him. Trying to explain to his mother how I had nearly broken his leg had been quite the experience. Honestly, I almost wished my leg would just go ahead and break out of nowhere. It would give me the excuse Allium and I needed to leave the party. Our attempt at dancing went a lot like how our dancing to the slow songs at homecoming started out. I kept glancing about every which way at the other people as if they were suddenly going to leap at me. I lost count of how many times Allium had to redirect my attention back to him. We made it through three and a half songs before we called it quits. With me not being into it, Allium wasn't enjoying dancing that much either.

His attention had been distracted too though. As soon as we stopped dancing, he made a beeline for the two standing outside the living room. He said nothing about me following and only seemed to think about mentioning me or introducing me after I slowly weaved my way through the throng of people. It was talking to those two that entertained Allium greatly. He was going on for so long that I felt forgotten, which was a feeling that only got worse as the minutes ticked by. Allium jumped from person to person, from group to group, and to conversation to conversation. He entered and exited each one flawlessly and never once stumbled over his words. True to his character, most of his comments got the others laughing. However, he made almost no efforts to encourage me to join in. I practically had to jump into the middle of whatever circle of talking was formed to get anyone to notice me, which I clearly wasn't going to bend over backwards to do. I began fidgeting after our promised half hour time limit passed and Allium showed no intentions of leaving.

Then the night took a total nose dive south. It had been close to an hour since Allium and I arrived. He was engrossed in his conversation, so I dared to make my way to the kitchen for some tap water when I could stand my dehydration no longer. The house had only gotten warmer and sweatier, and the growing, sour smell drifting through the rooms had me wanting to gag. Allium didn't notice my departure, and when I went back to where he had been he was nowhere to be found. The second I saw he wasn't there my chest tightened and my heart skipped several beats. I assumed he would still be nearby, but as I timidly walked about the house I went unrewarded. Even checking upstairs gave me no results. I walked into some sort of entertainment room, which was the last place he could be, when my search was instantly interrupted by someone approaching me. It wasn't who I wanted it to be.

     "Yo, you're...Meadow, right?" the boy asked.

With a drink in hand and his slightly slurred words, it was easy enough to figure out he was lightly inebriated. I wondered if he was the Dusty that Allium told me of, but I never found out.

     "Yeah." I answered unenthusiastically.
     "Damn. In the pictures you looked fine, but in person you're smoking!"
     "U-um, thanks..."

My response was more uncertain and hesitant than before.

     "Al really wasn't exaggerating." the boy continued, making me uncomfortable with where his eyes were going and then full out disturbed when he grabbed my chin to expect my face further.
     "Do you know where he is?" I snapped the question after swatting him away.
     "Nope, but that's fine. We don't need him to be around."

He took a big step forward so that he was practically against me, and he placed a hand on my shoulder. Backpedaling, I gave him a harder shove, which threw him off balance and made him slosh some of his drink onto his hoodie.

     "You seem to know the two of us are dating, so keep your hands to yourself." I reprimanded firmly.
     "God, I'm not trying to get in your skirt. Friendly flirting never hurt nobody. Don't need to be a bitch about it." the boy threw back bitterly.

He glared at me, took another swig of his drink, and left the room.

My shaking began after that. I knew I shouldn't take some drunk stranger's slur at me so personally, but the little confidence I had in myself in that moment all but disappeared. The rest of it didn't last much longer. With Allium not answering his phone or my texts, I had nothing to do but wander back and forth through the house in my mad search to find him. Unfortunately, he appeared to have been spirited away. I checked every place there was to check. There was one locked room upstairs, but it was totally silent and the lights were off. I felt like an idiot just walking in and outs of the rooms, and that feeling only grew when I noticed others had noticed my weird behavior. More and more judgingly perplexed glances came my way. My face was burning and crying felt like a good option for something else to do. I parked myself in the kitchen corner to give myself a quick break when one of the girls Allium had been talking to earlier came over. I had a strong feeling she was taking pity on me.

     "Hey. I'm Poppy." she introduced herself.
     "Meadow." I said as normally as I could, although my voice was already quivering.
     "Yeah, I know. Al's girl."
     "Y-yes." I mumbled.
     "You're part of his Berrybrook crew with Am and the others?"
     "Y-yeah. You know about Am and everyone?"
     "Of course. Al talks about them enough, and a few of them have come up here every now and again."
     "Really?"

I was confused. Allium almost never mentioned the existence of his Bayport friends, let alone what their names were. None of my other friends did either. Not once had I known about them visiting Bayport to see Allium's other group of friends.

     "Uh, yeah?" Poppy frowned at me, "Amaranth was just up here last weekend."
     "No, he wasn't. He was working all last weekend. Al and I spent hours in the bookstore with him- Al bugging him while he worked and me reading." I replied almost with suspicion, wondering what in the world this girl was trying to accomplish by lying.
     "He was here!" Poppy exclaimed forcefully, causing my heart to miss several more beats.
     "I am quite certain he wasn't."
     "He was to, you filthy liar!" she growled at me.

The nastiest kind of glare was sent my way before Poppy turned on her heel and walked away with a huff. I stood there dumbfounded- not having the slightest idea as to what her problem had been or why she reacted so weirdly. I could only reason she was being affected by her drinking too.

One thing was as clear as day. I couldn't take being inside the house anymore, so I snuck out to the empty backyard. I had hoped for a moment Allium would be there, but naturally he wasn't. There wasn't much room in the yard before a steep hill began. I didn't mind. Even sitting ten feet away from the walls of the house was the best kind of sanctuary I could ask for in that moment. However, the blessedly crisp and cool air still couldn't help me in calming down completely. My weak and shaking fingers fumbled and dropped my phone as I desperately checked it. Allium hadn't responded back to me in any way.

The night was dancing by painfully slowly. It had been an hour and a half since we had arrived- double the length Allium had promised me we would stay. He hadn't kept his promise that he wouldn't leave my side either, and that more than staying longer was what was undoing me. Somehow, not even the close encounter in Painted Plains had left me as petrified or as paranoid as I was then. I had had Eden taking care of me. However, now I was all alone to defend myself- the shy me who had trouble talking to people I passed everyday in the halls at school. The me who always had to secretly wonder if the new person I met would be the one to discover my secrets and send me back to an isolated hell that would exploit me and my children and trap more innocent girls in a cruel cage.

And then, it was more than those fears that had the mere thought of me going back inside threatening tears again. My stomach churned with disgust at that one boy's touch. It brought back too many memories of Purity's nasty rumor, Thallium's callous actions, and all the other heartless sexual advances and bullying I had received during those few days. Potentially having to face more of that had my body aching with fear. When I stood up in one extremely forced moment of determination to go inside and tear the house down until I found Allium, I stumbled as if I was the one who was drunk.

Going back inside was the entirely wrong thing to do. After having that break to myself, strolling back into the battlefield was ten times worse than it was before. The pounding, blaring music had my ears screaming and my head ringing. The sweaty stench had me choking, and the suffocation of the thick clusters of bodies had me finally losing control of my breathing. I had to ignore the stares I got as I resumed my mad pacing back and forth through the house to find my boyfriend, because if I stopped concentrating on taking air in and out I would be gone. It wasn't five minutes later when I knew something had to change. I was shaking too hard. I honestly couldn't breathe. Clinging to myself, I willed my body to walk down the hallway as my vision blurred and a tint appeared in the corners of my eyes. My intense fear was making me pass out. I was thoroughly grateful that some event set up in the entertainment room had most everyone over there, for it made it easier for me to stumble my way towards the one place of true sanctuary I remembered existed. Allium's car.

I jolted backwards when I rounded the corner and nearly walked right into someone else. He put his hand on my shoulder, but this time it was to keep me on my feet.

     "Are you alright?"

The question he asked was as distorted to my ears as his face was in my vision. No matter how deeply I pulled my breaths in I couldn't get my steadily increasing lightheadedness to vanish. I wasn't even able to recognize or understand the answer I gave the boy. All I was aware of was that I had at least attempted to say something, but that was it. My answer must have been somewhat comprehensible though, for he kept talking to me. His words warped and warped until I could no longer understand them. However, some part of me was calming down. I remembered seeing his face a few times as I walked around, and he had smiled instead of staring at me weirdly each time. He seemed genuinely concerned about my condition.

Still, warning bells I could barely hear in my head were going off. They were at their strongest when I noticed something cool and sweet but still very intense trickling down my throat. I was drinking something, but what? I hadn't even known I had had a drink in my hand. Where did I get it from? Did the boy give it to me? He had something about something relaxing me after all. I couldn't make sense of anything in the end. I continued to be terrified, and drinking that pleasant drink was the only thing really making me feel better. I groaned mentally when I rose the glass again to find that there wasn't a drop of it left.

That groan grew louder when I grew worse a minute later. Was I truly having that much trouble breathing? I didn't get why my body was doing what it was doing to itself. Normally when I was on my way to passing out, everything got dark. However, now my vision morphed into a haze of white as everything blurred more and more. My legs shook like jelly, and I felt like I weighed a thousand pounds. Something soft wrapped around me. It was the boy keeping me steady, I think. I wanted to ask him if he would take me to Allium's car, but part of our continued conversation I hadn't known was still going on broke through my daze.

     "So, you're looking for Allium?" the boy's question was hardly more than a distant echo.
     "Yes."

My own voice was even worse.

     "You won't find him here. I saw him heading across the street to Corn's house with Dill."
     "Corn's house?"
     "He has a pool table. Allium wanted to play."
     "He said he wouldn't leave my side."
     "Well, here. I'll take you over there. He shouldn't get away with breaking his promise, should he?"

I only had a slight impression that something was wrong instead of the full out panic I should have had. The outside air made my dizziness and vision worse while I vaguely recognized that there wasn't any sort of house across the street. In fact, the closest house was the one a whole half mile down the road. The boy wasn't leading me towards it. I think he was leading me to one of the cars parked on the street. However, we didn't get far. A horribly loud shout from behind us frightened the boy. He let go of me and began running away, but a mass of purple and pink flew past me, nearly bowling me over, to tackle and force him to the ground. It took me several seconds to recognize that it as Allium who began wailing on that boy like there was no tomorrow. I was so hung up on my confusion that Allium had come from inside Ochre's house, that he had still been there, that I didn't react to Allium's fist connecting powerfully with the boy's face again and again. He slammed his heel into a very sensitive place for good measure. It took Ochre and another boy to pull him off.

     "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?! HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE?!"

In my messed up state, Allium suddenly transported from where the boy was to right in front of me where he yelled in my face. Even that didn't get a reaction out of me. That loud screaming was still only a warbling echo in my mind, and Allium was too much of a blob in my sight for me to care about the hidden worry and panic etched on the lines of his face. He was pulled back by some of the others once more. They told him not to yell at me. That Poppy's drink had been spiked too. That the boy was crafty. Those words were the last I heard from them, for Allium half led, half dragged me to his car. He sat me in my seat, wouldn't even let me buckle my own seatbelt, furiously got in the driver's side, and drove us away from the situation.

The blur of the world passing us by as Allium sped down the quiet streets drenched in nighttime was too much for me to handle. I had to close my eyes and let my affected state sweep me away. My eyelids refused to open again for the longest time, but the drive was long anyway. I wasn't aware of anything until the movement of the car stopped. We got out, there was an addition of another voice, and I silently cursed the strange bouncing up and down motion that went on for a minute or so. The lone thing that made it bearable was the light scent of fresh ocean air and the tingling sensation of a soft mist. The touch of the water helped to wake me up, and when I willed my eyes to reopen more of what was going on became clear.

     "I seriously can't believe you. I know you're a reckless kind of person, Al, but this was taking it way too far." Frost reprimanded sternly.

He was leading us to the front door of his house. I could barely walk despite that my vision was better than before. Allium had to practically carry me.

     "This is half her fault too! She should have known better than to drink something a random guy gave to her!" Allium retorted.
     "Be that as it may, this is Meadow we're talking about. Our incredibly naive and slightly sheltered Meadow. You had to have known that something was going to happen taking her to a party like that. She was probably so freaked out she didn't know what she was doing."

I opened my mouth and attempted to speak to the affirmative, but a sudden queasiness had me gagging instead.

     "Can you hurry up and open the door?" Allium asked impatiently, "I'd really like for her not to throw up on me again."
     "I'm working on it, so don't be a brat," Frost reprimanded again as he opened the door, "You're so lucky my parents, sister, and brother are away at that convention. Do you know how much trouble you'd be in otherwise?"
     "Eden would have me six feet under, I know!"

Frost supported me under my other arm as he and Allium took me inside. My vision darkened, and I almost truly collapsed. Pain was beginning to spread throughout my body.

     "You know that if she gets any worse we're going to have to take her to the hospital, you two getting in trouble be dammed." Frost said as he pulled me up harder.
     "I know, I know. Do you really think I'd pick not getting grounded for eternity over making sure that she isn't dead by the time morning comes around?"
     "Of course not. You are quite the idiot sometimes," Frost replied, and I could picture him smiling, "But you're a loving idiot."

I was aware there was a slight struggle getting me upstairs and into Frost's parents' room, but when I woke up the next morning I could hardly remember a thing. I didn't have the slightest idea as to why I felt so horrible. It took me a moment before I found my footing, and even then it seemed like just the force of my own breath could send me flying backwards. My whole body ached, my stomach cramped, I had a massive heacahe, and my sight lagged. Being in Mr. and Mrs. Chill's room didn't help me any. I wandered into their bathroom to get some water, which did thankfully alleviate some of my symptoms. Moving around actually helped me to feel better too. After slowly and carefully making the bed, I was relatively stable.

I didn't know what I would find when I left the room, but it took me a while to find anything at all. Frost's house was empty of his family, and it wasn't until I heard quiet voices from outside that I knew where he and Allium were. The sounds I made were soft due to me walking so gingerly. I was able to catch the last part of their conversation.

     "I really do wonder how these ideas get in your head sometimes. You were asking for this to happen doing what you did." Frost sighed.
     "I swear I was only trying to help. You can only ever improve with things like that by stepping outside your comfort zone, right?" Allium responded.
     "There's a difference between helping someone expand their limits and dropping him or her into the lion's den. Yeah, she's never going to get better if she only sticks to what she knows, but, like I said, going about it the way you went about it was way too extreme. You wouldn't throw a baby into the pool here and expect it to start swimming perfectly, but that's what you were expecting from Meadow. Then there's the fact that you had no intention of keeping the promises you made."

It was too much to stand there in the shadows listening. Something had happened that I hadn't been aware of even with the rest of my memories being blocked out, and I was determined to know what it was. Frost jumped up when he spotted me coming over. Allium attempted to appear unfazed, but he had trouble looking me in the eye.

     "Meadow, you feeling better?" Frost questioned with concern.
     "I think so. I feel really off and slightly sick."
     "I don't doubt it. You threw up six times last night."
     "Oh," I cringed, "Please tell me I didn't make a mess."
     "Thankfully, you were polite enough to control your stomach until I had several buckets at my disposal. Mr. Charm here had the pleasure of cleaning them out."
     "I'm really sorry, both of you," I apologized before pausing, "And I'm really confused. I don't quite get what's going on."
     "From what Allium has told me of what the others at the party told him, you looked pretty freaked out for a while. This guy named Absinthe, who was crashing the party, spiked some other girl's drink before giving you a spiked one. He tried taking you away from the party to...well, I'll let you come up with your own ideas. Allium beat the crap out of him, left the others at the party to deal with him, and brought you here so we could wait for the drug to get out of your system." Frost explained.
     "Oh." I repeated, my voice and heart growing heavy.

Frost gave me a sympathetic smile.

     "I do remember just walking around like an idiot trying to find you," I began again, glancing at Allium, "I went outside for a while to calm down, but going back in made everything worse. I got so terrified that I could barely breathe. I was trying not to pass out as I made my way to the car to hide. I think that's when I ran into this Absinthe, but being on the verge of unconsciousness I can't remember the details exactly. I don't remember drinking anything besides some water from the tap at all."

Frost's expression hardened, and he sent a disapproving stare Allium's way. Allium continued to not make eye contact.

     "See? I told you this was 99% your fault," Frost rebuked him, "Meadow isn't that out of touch with reality to drink something a strange guy gives her, but because you forced her to be in a position that terrified the hell out of her, and this whole thing just gets worse because you know she can't breathe when she gets scared, she honestly wasn't even aware of her actions or the potential consequences. This whole mess happened because you lied to her."
     "He did?" I asked quietly.

Allium turned his head further away from me while Frost shook his head in dismay.

     "He told you that you would spend no more than half an hour at the party and that he wouldn't leave you alone, correct?"

I nodded.

     "Both promises he had no intention of sticking to. Essentially, he got a little annoyed that you being so shy like you are just happens to be an unchanging part of your character. He purposely kept you both at the party for longer than half an hour, and the second you took your eyes off him he hid himself in some small den past a locked room upstairs with a few of his friends so they could play card games. Allium thought forcing you to mingle by yourself with a bunch of slightly drunk strangers downstairs was the best way to cure your shyness. He ignored your calls and texts, and he planned on not reappearing until the party was in its last moments. He only bothered to come out when he did because someone else alerted him that some bastard was trying to assault you."

I stared at Allium in mildly horrified disbelief. The silent air was awkward and tense, and it soon got worse when a phone ringing from inside the house prompted Frost to make his momentary departure. Allium shifted timidly and glanced at me with a pitiful expression.

     "Allium, I can't believe you," I began, my voice calm but still full of hurt, "It's one thing to lie to me in order to manipulate me into doing something you want, but to abandon me like that? It's too much for you to handle if I disappear, but you have no problem vanishing on me? You had to have seen how much trouble I was having getting along with everyone there with you next to me. Did you honestly think that would get better if you weren't around?"
     "It seemed rational at the time. Of course it makes me look like a massive asshole now, but I really only wanted to help," Allium implored pleadingly, "Sometimes...you act as if the world is out to get you. I get that you're never going to not be shy, but the high level of paranoia you have just doesn't seem right."

He lifted his hand towards me, but I backed away and shook my head.

     "Well, I hope you're happy, because now you've made me worse. Freaking me out was terrible enough, but with what could have happened..." I stared at the ground, "I don't feel like I can even trust you."
     "Meadow, I'm sorry. I'm seriously so sorry," Allium spoke so heartbrokenly that I caved and let him put his hands on my shoulders, "I messed up big time, and I understand you're going to be upset with me for a while. I do learn my lessons very well though. I promise I won't ever even think of doing something like this again. I'll swear off going to parties forever if it'll make you feel better. And, I hope you know that, no matter the situation or who's at fault, I'll always do whatever I can to make sure you're safe."

My terse expression wavered. Allium was indeed very good with words. He knew exactly what kind of big statements to make and how to say them without making them overly dramatic. In that moment, I recognized he was being truly genuine. My gaze rose some when he tucked my stray hair behind my ear and looked kindly at me.

     "I do love you, you know?"

I nearly burst out laughing from how that small sentence sent my heart racing and my upset anger at him running away.

     "You better not be throwing those words out at me now just to make me less angry at you." I warned, fighting a smile, for it was the first time he had said those words in a non-teasing and non-platonic manner.
     "I'd never! But if it does help..." Allium grinned slightly too.

I shook my head again and rolled my eyes, this time in amused exasperation. I would continued to be annoyed with him for some time, but I caved further and rested myself against his chest. Allium eagerly accepted me into that hug.

     "I love you too, despite everything." I teased slightly.

Allium laughed lightly before kissing the top of my head and holding me tighter. I let my weary self rest as much against him as I could. There could be no denying it. Truly, despite everything, I did still feel safe in those arms of his.