Gen One- Chapter Thirty

My fingers flew over the buttons on my controller. My thumbs had started aching long ago from how I abused them by mashing them against that piece of plastic, but my pride wouldn't have me give in to the hardly irritating pain. I had been winning, and I needed to keep winning.

     "Ohf! Yes! Take that!" Eden cried out in merriment, raising his controller above his head in victory, when my tackle failed to keep his player from entering the end zone.

     "Good job. You managed your first touchdown, and we're only in the third quarter. You must feel very proud of yourself." I teased.

     "Go ahead and taunt all you want. You only have one touchdown too. We're finally even, and I'm not letting you win this one."

     "Isn't that what you've been saying for the past several games? You are aware I won all of those as well, don't you?" I pointed out haughtily.

     "This one is the one. I can feel it."

     "You just keep telling yourself that." I smirked.

Eden would never learn that the reason he got the touchdown off me was because I had been paying more attention to his face than the game. He had changed over the past week, and there was a part of me that couldn't help but to stare. Eden having been only eighteen when he got tangled up with my project had been something I had known for almost forever, but I rarely stopped to think about what that had meant for him. When I was ten, eighteen sounded so grown up. Now that I was seventeen, I understood how it wasn't grown up at all. I couldn't imagine what it would have been like to have been suckered up by a horrible evil like The Company as well as become an instant parent for a baby you had no relation to when you were at an age where you had pretty much no clue about the world or who you really were, much less how to guide and raise a tiny little life. That Eden had been half the role model he had been for me was miraculous, and it showed me just how freaking amazing he was. It made me pity him some too. I was getting a grasp at how much he had given up and how fast the situation had forced him to mature. The years that should have shown him the most freedom had been spent with him being trapped instead, and he hadn't had a moment to relax since.

Until now, sort of. He had all sorts of worries at home. Bills, maintaining the house, keeping Allium off me, helping me with my problems, doing whatever he did with his "friends", and just keeping our secret in general. Here, however, it seemed all he had to worry about was dealing with my complaining. This whole thing was turning out to be a mini vacation in a way for the both of us. Eden finally had a chance to relax and show me a side of him I had hardly seen before. The "brother" part of him was out in full force while the "father" part of him was taking that rest.

     "Fuck yeah!" he cheered when he won a decent amount of yards.

Case in point, Eden was swearing a lot more than he normally did. He was rasher, more arrogant, dirtier minded, more rebellious, and much, much lazier. I liked that kind of Eden though. It was fun to look at him strictly as a sibling for once, and it was nice to see that he was indeed having a chance to act the age he never got to enjoy.

Although, his temper wasn't something to be desired. I got my attention back on the game like it was supposed to be, and Eden found he wasn't having nearly as much luck as before. I scored two more touchdowns, the end of the fourth quarter came, and Eden lost the game yet again.

     "Damn it!" he growled in frustration, slamming his controller harmlessly against the couch cushion.
     "Want to play again?" I taunted.
     "Oh, shut the hell up," Eden grumbled, not amused, before standing up and walking towards the kitchen, "I'm just going to make myself a bag of popcorn since it's the only thing I'm good at."
     "You already had a whole one to yourself earlier today. You're going to get fat!" I called the warning after him.

I heard him mumbling under his breath, but he didn't say anything directly to me.

I simply shook my head in amusement. Seeing that our long video game session had finally come to an end, I turned off the console and focused my attention to more pressing matters. Namely, me taking a little nap on the couch. The past week of having nothing to do but what we could and what we wanted to do in our hideaway house had transformed Eden and I into total couch potatoes. We lazed about in the comfiest clothes we had, wasted hours playing video games like we just had, and hardly ate a decent things for any meal. It would be a miracle if either of us didn't end up gaining several pounds.

I was trying to keep somewhat active though, lest the true grasp of cabin fever pull me down. The vast majority of my exercise came about through swimming in the pool and playing with Button. She loved being spoiled by my constant attention that she had not had since back when I was homeschooled, and she was down for a game of chase or a round of tug-of-war at a second's notice.

I also tried to do something a little intellectual everyday too. I was missing school after all, even if I seriously didn't need to actually attend it. The "project" I gave myself was writing a book. It wasn't something I was all that into, and I highly doubted I would ever continue it once I returned home. However, it was therapeutic creating a character much like me, putting her in a situation much like mine, and having everything go how I wanted it to go. A lot of the reason as to why I knew the story would never be accepted outside of my head is because everything always went right. I was letting that girl I created escape from all the worries and stress I wanted to escape from. Putting a picture of Allium and me next to my computer was motivation for me to give her a perfect life when I got the temptation to make things more realistic.

For all the days I spent in that hideout, I hated that picture as much as I loved it. The image was something that Sunset had secretly captured and then showed off to every person she ran into before giving it to me to frame. My friends and I had been having a good time at the summer festival set up in the city park. My noble and gentlemanly Allium had promised me he would win me the stuffed animal I liked from the claw machine. Knowing how rigged they were, I bet him he couldn't get it just to tease him. A big kiss would be his reward if he could prove me wrong, and on his first try he proved me very wrong indeed. I had lured him away from everyone for the kiss, but Sunset had sneakily been following with a camera. She always got a kick out of seeing us kiss, mostly because of the conversations we had had back before Sap took me on that vacation to Tropic Luna.

It drove me crazy with heartache each time I saw it now, but I refused to not look at it. I didn't deserve to ride out these days in a complete lazy happiness playing games with Eden while Allium had to be driving himself sick with worry and panic. I knew where I was. I knew I was safe. I knew I would be going home. Allium knew none of that. For him, I had been there, and then I hadn't. As far as I knew, it was his worst fear becoming reality. I wondered what he was thinking. Did he think Eden and I had simply took off? Could he be considering we had gotten into an accident and no one could find us? What if he thought we had been kidnapped or something of that sort? He could be thinking that I was being hurt. That I could be dead. A day didn't pass where I didn't look at that picture and burst into tears. I would have given anything to send him even the smallest of messages to let him know I was fine.

I did have to greatly ignore what he and the rest of my friends were having to suffer through though, or else I would have gone mad. It was difficult enough staving off madness brought about by boredom anyway. Eden and I could only stand video games for so long. Doing the same things over and over again without any reprieve had the annoyance of a mild rug burn. It all got so bad that I spent many of my hours parking myself in weird positions about the house and yard and not moving for what felt like hours. Button occasionally joined me, but usually she stared at me as she couldn't figure out exactly what I was doing.

Eden scolded me sometimes for my choice of placement. The one that got me the most disapproval was on the edge of the pool. I could understand his concern well, for I did have a habit of falling asleep in whatever position I had taken up. Perching myself right on the edge of eight feet of water and then taking a nap wasn't the cleverest idea in the universe. After it happened a third time, I made sure to sit in such as way as to make accidentally dozing off next to impossible.

Eden told me on the second day that the plan was to stay for a week. That plan had been dashed when Ms. Yellow made another appearance in Berrybrook on her return from Painted Plains. Eden and his friends worried that these new appearances by her and possibly other Company members would continue as the new franchise of T.R.E.E in Painted Plains was starting to run in full swing. Eden guaranteed me we would get to go home for a time, but it wasn't until one afternoon when I sat miserably at the table where he finally told me of what the ultimate decision was.

He sat down opposite me and smiled a wide smile. I glanced at him suspiciously, not wanting to get my hopes up. Blessedly, Eden had nothing but good news to tell me.

     "I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear this," he started merrily, "We get to go home. Tomorrow."
     "For how long?" I wondered skeptically.
     "It should be for good. We've had a watch on Painted Plains ever since we learned T.R.E.E. was setting up there. After a little investigating, it seems Swirl was only headed down there for a one-time meeting. There shouldn't be any reason for her or any other Company members to pass through Berrybrook to get there. At least, not for a good long while, and we're hoping to have the whole mess sorted out by then." Eden encouraged.
     "I can't recall how many times I've heard you say that now." I smiled wryly.
     "I swear it'll happen, Ethereal. I know it's frustrating not knowing what's going on and only being given what seems like overly optimistic promises, but I can let you in on a little secret. We've recently been having an easier time getting access to the information we need to crack the system. We think there's someone trying to help us from the other side."
     "Really?" I questioned incredulously.
     "It seems that way on the surface. There are plenty of desperate people working for The Company who want a way out, after all. If they're able to help us, then they can help themselves as well."
     "I hope for everyone's sake that this lead turns out to be a good one then."
     "You and me both." Eden agreed.

It had been a teary two weeks, and more tears fell down my cheeks when the glorious sight of Berrybrook came into my vision. I was transported back to that moment when Eden brought me there for the first time. In much the same way, I had my face pressed against the window glass and my eyes wide as I didn't want to blink and miss a single thing. Even seeing the hospital made me happy. I would gladly spend all my days there if it meant I never had to leave again.

I was in such a state of happy shock that the tears had vanished by the time we reached home. It was more a blessing than it had seemed all those years ago. I bolted out of the car with Button at my heels, unlocked the door myself this time around, half leapt inside, and flicked on the lights before breathing in the wondrous scent. Of course, everything looked the same. Not a thing was out of place, and nothing had grown unfamiliar. Only a bit of dust here and there was the reminder that Eden and I had been away. Otherwise, it felt as if we had never left. Eden soon walked in behind me, and he gave me a long hug as we let the truth that we were indeed back continue to sink in.

However, the moment of peace didn't last long. I carried my things up to my room and turned on my phone that Eden had returned. It was nonstop buzzing for nearly five minutes as all the texts and voicemails that had been sent were finally allowed to reach it. It took me another minute or two before I had the strength to glance at any of them. I didn't have a clue as to how I was going to approach any of my friends about the matter, but with the passing of one more minute and another buzz of my phone I was in that situation.

     "I saw your car drive by my house. If you have the energy, come over when you can. I'm not angry. I just want to talk."

That was what the text message from Allium said. I let out a massive exhale. Part of me wanted to text him back making some excuse that I was too tired and would have to talk to him later, but I wasn't able to form even the first few letters of such a response. Delaying a meeting with him would just make things worse, and I was afraid enough as it was. I forced myself to respond that I would be over in a few minutes.

Eden was sitting on the floor in front of his dresser unpacking his things from his suitcase, and he glanced up at me curiously when I entered his room.

     "Allium saw us driving by his house. He wants me to come over so we can talk." I explained nervously.
     "I see." he responded quietly, standing up.
     "Well, what do I say?"

Eden gave me a serious stare before shrugging his shoulders, shaking his head, and letting out his own little sigh.

     "I have no idea. This is one of those times where I don't have any better ideas as to how to explain what happened any more than you do. I don't know if it's even possible to come up with a believable answer."
     "Then what am I supposed to do?"
     "I'm going to leave it up to you for you to do or say what you think is best. Tell him nothing but lies, or..." Eden paused, his expression tightening, "Be as honest with him as you want."
     "Are you telling me to tell him the actual truth?" I responded in stunned awe.
     "No, I'm not telling you to do anything. I just trust your judgment. We're coming up to the end of this mess, and the truth will come out one way or the other. I think it's about time I let you decide what, if any, of it you will reveal to whomever you feel is ready to hear it first from you."

I shook the whole way over to Allium's house. Eden coming out and saying I could tell the truth if I wanted hadn't been the most helpful thing he could have said. It added a whole new layer of pressure for me to deal with when I was already struggling on what to do. Should I just tell the truth? I didn't think I should. Eden had been so adamant that I stay as far away from the situation as I could and focus on my "normal" life, and now he didn't mind if I jumped everything on Allium? But, then again, I knew I would be riding a fine line with my boyfriend. The thought of him no longer being mine, of us breaking apart because of this- the fear was great enough to start convincing me the truth would be the only thing to convince him to stay.

The moment of reckoning came much faster than I wanted, for it only took two minutes to walk to Allium's place. He had texted me back saying I could come right in, so I took a deep breath before I grabbed onto that cold doorknob, slowly pushed open the door, and took a few tiny steps inside. Allium was sitting waiting for me on the couch in the living room. My eyes instantly dropped to the floor the second he saw me and sprung up to his feet. Walking over like a child about to be punished, I withdrew into myself deeply. I flinched when Allium spoke after an uncomfortable silence passed, even though Allium's voice was soft and surprisingly gentle.

     "Well, I'm ready to listen." he said.

I could barely open my mouth, let alone speak. I truly had no idea what I should say.

     "I meant it when I said I'm not mad. A little hurt, okay- a lot hurt, but also very, very confused and curious as well. Meadow, I can't begin to understand why you and Eden would up and take off for two weeks and not give any one of us a single call or text, but I know it's something you wouldn't have done lightly. You're not anywhere near that heartless."

I willed myself to meet his gaze for a brief second. Some silly part of me wished he could gather everything I wanted to convey to him simply through that one connection, but naturally Allium only continued to wait for my explanation. Though I kept my eyes higher than the floor, I quickly tore them away from his.

     "Do you have a good reason?" Allium questioned again into the silence.

I nodded.

     "You can go ahead and tell me then," Allium continued earnestly, "I get that this whole thing has been as unpleasant for you as it has for me, and I can easily see that it's hard for you to say what you want to say. But, it's just me, Meadow. I'm not going to judge you. I'll listen to what you say with open ears. I won't tell another soul about anything if you don't want me to. I only want to understand."

I bit the inside of my lip and held my breath as I started to wonder if this would all be easier if Allium was mad at me. I wouldn't mind if he yelled at me- if he vented his frustrations that way so I wouldn't have to say anything. Him being so calm and willing to listen was sending my already torn mind into chaos. He was nudging what would be better off never being said closer and closer to the tip of my tongue. He was waiting this time too. No matter how much silence passed, Allium didn't say another word and merely looked at me expectantly.

     "I can't." the mumbled words finally tumbled out of my mouth.

Unlike mine, Allium's response was instant.

     "You can," he encouraged again, trying as best he could to put some sort of smile on his face, "There's no one else here. My mom won't be home for hours. I might be a blabbermouth when it comes to stupid stuff, but I'm serious about me not saying a word to anyone about anything you tell me. I screwed up majorly at the party, and, hell, I've been doing all that I can so that you might trust me again-"
     "It's not that I don't trust you," I interrupted, "Al, it has nothing to do with that. It's just that...I...don't..."
     "You don't what?"

I wish I could have gone ahead and said the words, but it was getting harder to speak by the second. The passing seconds also showed me that I definitely couldn't tell Allium the truth. Not the whole truth anyway. Nerves and my fear weren't the only reasons why my heart was racing. Being around Allium again after two weeks of not seeing him was spiraling those emotions I loved feeling when I was around him higher than they had been in a while. I hadn't realized until that moment how cold and empty I had felt not being with him, and more than anything I wanted him to wrap his arms around me, kiss the top of my head, and tell me everything was fine like he always did when I was upset or scared. That I continued to love him so deeply was why I couldn't drag him into my mess. He had no idea what he was asking when he asked for the truth, and he didn't deserve to have me throw him into what I was trying to escape from.

However, my silence wasn't going to be good enough for him. Of course it wouldn't be. I hadn't given him a single satisfying answer, and Allium was too persistent for his own good. He broke me down until I ended up revealing more than I wanted. Although, I suspect I never would have gotten off the hook saying anything less. I suppose there was one thing I said that Allium truly did deserve to know as well.

     "Meadow."

He said my name softly, and my heart skipped several beats. His hands were placed on my shoulders, and he pulled me close even though I gently resisted him.

     "Why are you so afraid?" he wondered, "If you trust me...if you know I won't get mad..."
     "I can't."
     "I need an answer, Meadow."
     "You don't know what you're asking." I said dismally with a shake of my head.
     "I don't care. I can handle it."
     "Because you don't know what you're asking." I said more firmly, my voice quivering.
     "How can you even know until you tell me?"
     "I'm not getting you involved!"

Allium twitched at the sudden raise of my voice, but he didn't back away.

     "That makes it sound like it's something serious." he joked weakly with a light scoff.
     "It is something serious. Something bad." I mumbled impossibly quiet once more.

Allium's face narrowed in concern.

     "When you say bad, how bad can it be?" he questioned curiously.
     "Bad. And that's all I'm saying." I said shortly.
     "Like hell you are. Now I want to know even more." Allium admitted desperately.
     "Tough luck." I shook my head, trying to squirm out of his grasp.
     "Medy, c'mon. Give me a chance."
     "No."
     "Look at me."
     "I won't-"
     "Meadow, look at me."

He was too strong for me, but, in truth, I didn't actually want him to let go. I allowed myself to be pulled in closer. Allium's expression turned soft again when he saw there were tears building up in my eyes, and I cursed him. Where was the childish Allium I knew? The one who would have gotten irritable and upset already? Him looking at me like he was wasn't doing either of us any favors.

     "Please," he pleaded, "Talk to me."

That was when the crack snapped and released some of what I was trying so hard to hold back. The words flowed out without pause.

     "You have no idea how badly I want to tell you. I would give anything if I could just have someone else to talk to about this. Burying myself and keeping it all hidden makes me more and more exhausted with each day that goes by, and I keep getting more afraid of what everyone will think when the truth does come out. Even though that's the case, I won't tell that truth. Not to you, not to anyone, and certainly not now. I don't want to be involved with this. It's absolutely horrible, so how can I drag someone else in and make them suffer like me? As long as none of you know anything, they won't care about you."
     "Hey, breathe," Allium instructed calmly, for I was breathing and talking as if the coldest chill was inside my chest, "And who is this 'they' you just mentioned?"

I shook my head furiously.

     "I'm sorry, Al. I wonder if I ever should have started dating you," I admitted, willing myself on before he could say anything after a deep frown settled onto his face, "I want to keep being with you, I really do, but I don't know how fair this is to you. I didn't realize until that trip to Wonder Light that you're taking a massive risk with me. With any other girl you wouldn't have to worry about her disappearing, but with me you do. I can't tell you who 'they' are or what they want with me, but they want me. They've been trying for years to find me. That's why I'm so paranoid. That's why Eden and I took off these past two weeks. We were hiding because they got close."

I had to stop and take a breath before I passed out, and I cringed at Allium's expression.

     "I know it doesn't make a lot of sense. I know you want to understand more, or that you want to believe this is nothing more than some horrible kind of joke or a lie. I wish it was, but it isn't. This is the truth I can tell you. This is what I should have told you the second you said you liked me. I should have never led you to believe that I'm...just some normal girl. And I'm so sorry."

Allium's mouth hung slightly open. His grip on me was relaxing, and there were no words to describe the emotions flashing across his face.

     "Are you saying that..." he started in a stunned whisper, "That these past two weeks could happen again? That you really could just...disappear and never come back?"
     "I don't want to say it, but I must," I forced the words out despite the pain they brought, "Eden said that we should be safe now. That this was just a one time thing. He's trying so hard so that we can tell the truth and make them go away for good. He promised me he's getting close. Even so, the risk is still there. It will always be there until they're stopped. A week from now, a month from now, a year from now- they might find me. There might not be another chance to hide. And, if they get me, it's almost guaranteed that I'll never come back. They're too good. I know it's the last thing you want to hear, but every time you watch me go home there's a chance you'll never see me again. I could very well be there one moment and not be there in the next. I could vanish completely, never to return, with you not knowing where I am or what will ever happen to me."

I couldn't tear my gaze away as I watched Allium's expression fall. Our eyes refused to unlock, and I could see something break deep within him. I almost hear the snap of it, and with that crack I knew the blissful days Allium had spent with me making feel like the normal girl I wanted to be would never come back. Meadow's world was steadily crumbling apart, and there was little hope of me holding it together. Allium's arms dropped down to his sides. He took a step away from me. It didn't seem like he was breathing. His eyes finally wretched themselves away. I don't know where I thought he would go, we were in his house after all, but as he took several steps past me I was terrified he was walking away for good. In that moment, it seemed like if I didn't do anything that he would be the one to vanish forever instead. I was grabbing onto him before I was aware of it. Allium did nothing to brush me off, and he stopped the second I trapped him in my clinging grasp.

     "I really am...so sorry," I apologized again, fighting back all the tears wanting to rush out, "This whole situation is cruel. I wouldn't blame you if you want to run away. You'd be smart to do so."

I inhaled shakily as I snuggled against him tighter.

     "I know the words that are running through your mind. The ones that are on the tip of the tongue. I understand that it doesn't make sense how you could say anything else, but...if you could wait just a little. Give it a day or two to think, calm down, before you make a decision. I'll let you go if you want to go. Please, just give me this one favor of waiting. I do still want to be with you. I do still love you, Charming."

Allium let out that breath he was holding in a long, slow, silent exhale. I could feel the beat of his heart reverberate through his chest. It was racing exactly like mine was. Silence was the only sound in the room for the longest time, and I was at a loss as to what kind of answer I would receive. The Allium that was next to me now seemed so different from the normal Allium I knew. He was more grown up. More mature. Even though it had only been two weeks, his shoulders were that much wider. He was definitely taller. Time was rapidly changing his body, and it looked like the rest of him was finally following along.

I put up no resistance when Allium shifted and slid out of my hold. I forced myself to feel disappointment for I anticipated him walking further away or him telling me to leave, but weak was what I felt instead when he turned on his heel to face me, wrap his arms around me, and pull me close again. The weight of the pressure I had felt, all the intense surgings of different emotions, the relief of finally having said something of the truth- it left me wiped. Now with Allium staring at me like he was, my mind was running blank.

     "Frost's boat could explode and tear him to pieces." Allium said.
     "W-what?" I stuttered in utter confusion.
     "Amaranth could fall down the stairs and break his neck. Set could eat something she doesn't know she's allergic to and have a deathly reaction. Flower could be struck in the head by an air conditioner that fell twenty stories from the window it was attached to. My mom could be shot by a mad gunman. Eden could choke on a piece of candy. You could freeze in a vicious blizzard on a dangerous mountain."

Allium paused, I think, to gauge my reaction. I was certainly shocked and completely lost, that's for sure.

     "I could go for a walk and get hit by a car skidding off the road," Allium kept on going, his expression wholly serious, "Anyone can be lost at a moment's notice. People can die in the strangest and most convoluted ways. Even if they don't die, people can disappear from your life all the same and just as easily. All this time, through all these years- I could have been watching you go home for the last time and never have known until it was too late. The same can be said for the rest of us. That's simply how life goes. That's simply life, and it's ridiculously stupid of me to think I can make everyone stay forever by merely wanting it to be that way. I would be even more idiotic to let you go because you're at risk for something that you were already at risk for anyway."

Allium's stare grew more earnest.

     "I love you too, Meadow. These past couple weeks and...what you've told me now have not changed that. I want to keep being with you too. I will admit that I am confused as hell, and I won't say that I'm not scared. If anything happens to me, my mom..."
     "I know, Charming." I said sympathetically, placing my hand against his cheek.
     "You said 'they' would leave us alone if we don't know anything. Do you truly believe that?"
     "I want to." I admitted hesitantly, which naturally didn't add any optimism to Allium's demeanor.
     "Eden promised that he's going to fix whatever mess you guys are in? That everything should be normal again? Do you believe him?" he continued more intently.
     "I do."

Allium's gaze was unwavering. I fidgeted with nerves, and I tried not to look too hopeful. Several seconds later, that incredibly weak smile of his reappeared.

     "You know, Meadow, I just don't know about a lot of this. I do know that most of it hasn't sunk in. I don't even really believe what you've told me. That you and Eden of all people have some big baddies after you- it sounds like the plot to a story more than something you're actually going through. In any case, I'm going to listen to you because you are the smart one here. A few days to think would do me a world of good. Whatever more you can tell me, I wish that you would tell me. At least deny whatever crazy ideas my brain will come up with that are incorrect. Maybe you're right again in that I don't want to be totally involved, but I still want to help."

A soft smile appeared on my face too at that.

     "And I definitely still do want to be your boyfriend," he continued, "If you'll have me."
     "I would love that very much," I giggled before having to apologize again, "And I'm sorry if I worried you to death these past weeks."
     "Oh, you did," Allium responded with much more cheer in his voice than what one would expect, "I haven't slept a full night since that first night you didn't show up, and I've probably lost a few pounds because I haven't been eating right. However, that's okay. I'm the kind of idiot who is just so damn glad to have you back that I instantly forget about the bad stuff."
     "I'll have to come over and cook for you a lot." I proposed.
     "Sounds like a plan," Allium agreed merrily, "Although, I hope you know I'm gonna need a little bit of something else now to cheer me up."
     "I know." I chuckled.

I would have laughed more at Allium moving so fast, but his lips did connect so quickly with mine that the only sound I could let escape was the tiniest of moans. My body relaxed and my heart actually slowed some at the relieving sensation of Allium kissing me. It was close and deep, yet still gentle and light. It lasted an eternity too. Neither of us wanted to pull away. I knew Allium had to be lying to some extent about his acceptance of people disappearing just being a part of life, but I was comforted that him understanding Ethereal better meant that Meadow had that much more of a chance at holding everything together.