Gen Three- Chapter Twenty Nine

Sensitive topic matter addressed this chapter

I hadn't been in Mr. and Mrs. Thicket's bedroom enough for it to be weird. Somehow, given how open they were, I doubted they'd be upset if they caught Arbor and I even if it would be humiliating for all parties involved. I got the impression though they'd be happy that Arbor was taking another step back on the path to being normal. Yes, this was normal. He and I were a couple. He and I were both adults. This was what adult couples did.

However, I knew there were parts to this that were far from normal. Arbor and I held each other close. Our lips hardly parted, our legs intertwined, he'd taken off his shirt, and our breathing was ragged. By this point, I knew I should be feeling the same desire I could feel he had for me. It was true my body reacted when Arbor's caressing slowly wandered nearer towards those parts, and the surge of sensation scattering up and down every inch of my core hinted at why my sister and her girlfriend couldn't keep their hands off each other. However, as soon as Arbor's touch retreated so did the feeling. All that remained was warmth. A warmth I loved more than the pleasure. I was so utterly enraptured by the man with me. It scalded my body with a happiness, with a security, with a peace of true belonging I almost started to cry. This was why I wanted to be with him. Because we were right. Because by being together we created something good in a world that could be cruel.

So swept up in such absolute beauty, I almost forgot to ask the important questions. How much time did we have before his parents returned? Did he need to use one of the condoms I brought? Arbor reassured me his parents wouldn't return until after dinner. He knew where his dad's stash of protection was. With those concerns out of the way, the talking ceased as we took larger and larger strides. Arbor pushed nothing. His fingers massaged under my tank-top, and I was the one who hurriedly took it off. The bra soon followed to cause Arbor's cheeks to darken again. He wouldn't look, so I prompted him to meet my gaze as I pressed our foreheads together. He grew bold enough a few moments later to let his eyes wander. For the longest time we sat there kissing, skin touching skin, until I scooted forward. I got close enough again to feel the effects of this all on Arbor's body, and he jerked away.

     "Sorry." he mumbled through his heavier breathing.
     "For what?"
     "For...for..."
     "For that? Arbor, I'm pretty sure that means we're doing this right." I teased lovingly, placing a kiss on the end of his nose.
     "I know. It's...well, this is completely beyond me, to tell you the truth. I convinced myself I could never have this. I thought I didn't want it. But here we are. I'm so nervous yet so happy it's pulling me in half. I-I'm sure you're feeling something similar. I don't just want you. I need you. Obviously, as you felt it, I do. It's a pretty overwhelming sensation, huh?"

He smiled. I returned it after hesitating. While I did want and need him, I wanted and needed him differently. The overwhelming he felt was not the overwhelming I felt.

     "Yeah," I answered anyway after that brief second, beaming, "I know."

I didn't know. Arbor sensed it too.

     "Why did you say it like that?" he questioned, pulling back.
     "Like what?"
     "Like you're lying and trying to hide it."
     "I..."

Arbor's eyes began to narrow as I hesitated even more. He slipped his hand free when I tried to take it.

     "Sorry. I suppose that was somewhat of a lie, but I'm not intending to deceive you," I explained to remedy the brief tension, "The truth is that the desire you have and the desire I have are not the same. You were talking more about being aroused. What I meant to mean when I agreed to being overwhelmed is that I'm taken over by the simple fact of getting to be so close to you."
     "What the hell are you talking about?" Arbor scoffed in confusion.
     "I'm asexual. I should have mentioned it earlier, I suppose, but there was never a moment before this where I thought it necessary. It means that-"
     "That you don't like having sex." Arbor interrupted, angrier and insulted.
     "No. Not necessarily," I countered calmly, still hoping I could fix the situation, "That's true for some people, but like everything else asexuality is a spectrum. It's not that I dislike sex or don't want it. I just don't feel sexually attracted to anyone. The sensations were there when you stimulated them, but as soon as you stopped they faded away. My body merely doesn't get aroused without an outside force working directly on that. I want to be with you though. I need to be with you too. The high I experienced was an emotional one rather than physical, but I don't believe that makes it any less important or wrong. It's just different."

Arbor had already slipped off the bed before I finished speaking. He bitterly snatched up my bra, top, and shoes from the floor and tossed them on the bed near me.

     "Get dressed." he demanded irritably.

Slow and reluctantly, I did as he said. My eyes never moved off him as he stood there fuming. Had I really screwed up so badly not telling him this beforehand?

     "I really am sorry, Arbor," I pleaded, "I didn't mean for this to catch you off guard. You always seemed uncomfortable in the past when sex was mentioned in the slightest way. I didn't think you would want to do it, or at least not so abruptly like today. I see now I should have thought to say something. It's clear you're upset that I don't like you the way you thought I did. I mean it though, you have to believe me. Whatever lack I have has nothing to do with you. There's nothing wrong with you at all. It's entirely me- how my body formed."
     "Just stop it. I don't care." Arbor snapped tartly, wrenching his own tank-top back on.
     "You clearly do care," I pointed out softly, "And I care too. I care about you so much it's as if I'm on fire. I do apologize for not being as forthright as I needed to be, but I'd never hurt you on purpose."
     "Seriously, stop it," Arbor growled, "It's ridiculous! I bet next you're going to tell me that you love me thinking it'll mean anything?"
     "I do. I do love you, Arbor." I spoke with utmost seriousness the words we'd yet to say to each other.

He only shook his head furiously. His expression darkened.

     "Get out. Stay out. Don't come near me again, and don't dare make the stupid mistake of thinking we're together any longer." he ordered.
     "Wha...you're acting on your anger again. I know you don't mean that. You know you don't."
     "Out!" he half-shouted.
     "Alright," I obeyed, weakly standing up, "Just call me when you've calmed down."

Arbor said nothing else. He only glared daggers at me as I left his house. Honestly, I worried my wobbling legs wouldn't get me through the front door. Damn, even though I knew he wasn't speaking the truth my whole body threatened collapse at hearing those words. They had been bad enough the first time when the emotions weren't fully grown. Now that my heart yearned for Arbor more than anyone else, I couldn't tell if I was still alive. Being in love sucked. Part of me wondered if he would sober up if I did collapse, but I pushed through to keep walking. I didn't head home. Dad was there. I needed time to compose myself otherwise he would get the full truth of what happened. Arbor didn't deserve death. Instead, my feet blindly took me down the streets until I reached the beach. My fingers slowly and shakily tapped out a message on my phone, and when Gilly eventually showed up the sight of relief on the way revealed my breathing was shaky indeed.

     "What did he do this time?" she asked as we sat together near the shore.
     "Don't say it like that. He's been really good for the longest time," I mumbled, digging my heel into the cold sand, "But...don't make any jokes, but we were on the verge of sleeping together."
     "Oh?" Gilly raised her brow curiously, "And something went wrong?"
     "It came out that I'm asexual. I hadn't told him before because there hadn't seemed like much of a point in bringing it up. Arbor looked pretty betrayed. I guess he thought it meant I didn't really care or that I was faking. He stopped everything right away, told me we weren't together anymore, and kicked me out."
     "I can understand him being confused for a moment, but him thinking the relationship a lie? C'mon. What would you even gain jerking him around like that?"
     "I dunno. I can't understand what goes on in his head sometimes. There's still some of that wall there."
     "And how do you feel? Sad?"
     "I...no. I'm not sad. I'm angry," I spoke slowly as my chest beat with a growing scald, "I'm absolutely pissed. Arbor's a fucking idiot."

Grasping a handful of sand, I chucked it as hard I could at the water. The light, little drops didn't have quite the effect I wanted. Gilly held her finger up, searched by her for a moment, and then handed me a large rock. That I sent soaring above the ocean until it crashed flat with a satisfying splash. However, a flash of pain spread across my face.

     "Pull your shoulder?" Gilly guessed.
     "Yeah."
     "Well, don't you go getting broken. Unlike you, I'd have no idea how to fix it."
     "Oh, don't even try to get out of it. You want to be a masseuse. Haven't you learned enough by now to ease the pain of a strained muscle? Or are you only good at happy endings?" I teased with a massive smirk.
     "Please let that die," Gilly pouted, "I still can't believe Confetti said that in front of everyone, especially Divi."
     "She is just proud of your abilities."
     "She's a miserable tease, is what she is."
     "Worse than me?"
     "Much worse."
     "Oh, glad to hear it then." I chuckled.

Gilly laughed too. She smiled at me, and for a moment I forgot I was upset. My hand held hers tighter, and I leaned my head against hers.

     "Hey, Gil?"
     "Hmm?"
     "Be my sister forever?"
     "Only if I get to be the older one." she joked lovingly.
     "I suppose I can let you be the older one." I rolled my eyes, still smiling.
     "Then sure, we're sisters forever."
     "Good."

I clutched her tighter still.

I dreaded Arbor calling me that first afternoon. Though I had told him to contact me when he was calm, I didn't think I'd get as furious as I did. If he had called, there was no way I would have treated him nicely. It took Gilly taking me around the city most of the remaining day to allow me to head home without alerting mom and dad's suspicions. No word thankfully came. On Sunday I expected and was prepared for something though. My nerves had me putting my phone on the charger anytime it dipped below 80%. I worried something would happen, and I would suddenly be in a place where I couldn't charge it and thus miss Arbor's call.

If a call came at all. Noon rolled around. The only people I heard from were Timber and the rest of my friends. Several put forth offers of hanging out, but I denied them. I had to be available when Arbor wanted to talk. If he wanted to talk. By the time three in the afternoon came, my pacing in my room was a tad frantic. What if...what if he had been serious? What if he truly did mean for us to break up? Could he seriously think what I hadn't told him was a big enough reason to toss down everything we'd built? I eventually moved to the outside sitting area to continue my worrying. Was it that big of a deal that the reason I wanted to have sex with him was different from his? Was me not getting wet at the sight of him actually a proper justification to reject me? I honestly didn't know. I was different. Maybe this was something I simply couldn't understand.

Then, around four, the call finally came.

     "Hello?" I answered slowly after forcing myself to not pick up the second his name appeared on the screen.
     "Hi, Dia." Arbor replied impossibly quiet.

An expected yet still incredibly painful silence passed until he gathered the courage to speak again.

     "As usual, you were right," he admitted softly, "I was reacting badly on my emotions, and I regret it. There's a lot I want to say, to explain. Maybe it might not make it better, but I'm hoping you'll at least be able to understand why I went off. Not that...that I'm, um, trying to make a-an excuse or anything, but I..."
     "I'd like to talk to you too," I went for it, hearing how fast his weak confidence was shattering, "Did you want me to meet you at your house?"
     "No. There's another place I was wondering we could go to."

When he told me the location, I didn't say anything about it then. Arbor had never heard the full story seeing as I rarely mentioned Timber around him, and if he wanted a private place to chat that lake was one of the best locations in Berrybrook. He made it there before me and walked around awkwardly until he caught sight of me coming up the hill. Then he stiffened and glanced away guiltily. My heart stuttered at the sight of him, but it also ached as I took in the area around me. It couldn't be helped that the lake brought up some bad memories. Failure, disappointment, loss. Instead of looking at Arbor, my eyes drifted and stuck to the spot where the cats were buried.

     "Is everything alright?" Arbor sucked in a breath before asking, following my gaze.
     "Things didn't go so well here for me once. I know you don't like hearing about Timber, but the first year he moved to Berrybrook he asked for my help in reconnecting with his mom as he dad wouldn't let them communicate. He and I did a lot of sneaking around to plan to meet her here during Christmas vacation. There were also some stray cats living right over there that we took care of. The day before we were to meet with Timber's mom, we found them brutally murdered not unlike the other cats this past year have been. Timber buried them over there by that tree. Then the next day Timber's mom never showed up. I got hypothermia and passed out, falling into the lake. Mr. Mountain had to save me. To top it all off, Timber's mom turned out to be a bitch. She never intended to come, and had only bothered with us to she could have a good laugh at getting our hopes up just to let us down."
     "Oh. I am...I'm so sorry. We can go somewhere else. I just thought this was a nice, quiet place where we could talk without others being around."
     "It's alright," I managed the lightest of smiles, "Sad things happened here, but I still like this lake. It is beautiful, especially this time of year when everything's in bloom."

Arbor nodded. Then more silence came as we faltered and couldn't think of what else to say.

     "Why don't we go over there by the dock? The view is nice." I suggested.
     "Yeah. Yeah, that's good." Arbor agreed.

He rubbed his hands repeatedly on his pants. The boy was so incredibly nervous it softened a lot of the lingering anger in my chest. Despite my worry over how long it had taken him to call, this was the Arbor I had known he would return to being. There'd been no problems between us for the longest time. Obviously, I wasn't pleased with how yesterday had panned out, but there was something about the way he stood, about the way he looked at me that signaled I needed to hear him out. Arbor's outbursts were generally grounded by a reasonable trigger even if the extent of his reaction was extreme.

     "I was really pissed, Arbor." I had to tell him though.
     "I'm sure you were. That's fair." he nodded knowingly.
     "I do understand I caught you off guard and should have said something sooner, but..."
     "It did upset me that you didn't like me like I thought, and I was acting on my anger again. It's exactly as you said for both."
     "And what is it you want to tell me that will help me understand?"
     "The truth," Arbor sighed, "The truth I didn't say that I should have. The story I should have told before I made any sort of move yesterday, because it affects me so much there's no way it wouldn't affect you too. And it did."

I glanced around with him as he double-checked to make sure no one else was nearby. There was no one save the bugs in the grass and the birds in the trees.

     "It took me a lot of time this morning to gather the courage, so please bear with me if I stumble a bit or can't say it right away." he requested.
     "Of course."

My heart beat low, but it beat hard. This was it then. The answers to the questions I'd asked but been denied. The story Mrs. Thicket wouldn't speak of that turned Arbor from that boy in the video to the man who stood before me now.

     "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'll forgive you either way." I offered before he could begin.
     "I appreciate it, but this is something I have to say."

He took another deep breath.

     "It was about the time I turned ten. I remember I loved that birthday so much as part of the present my parents gave to me was the news they were contemplating trying for another child. The heart condition that took Iberis was genetic, so it had taken them those five years to work up the courage to give it another go despite the risk. Having a sibling was what I wanted more than anything at that point. I mean, I would still love to get a sibling now, but my parents have said it's unfortunately too late. Um, anyway, everything was going fine. Then, three weeks later, I got gastroenteritis. 'Stomach flu', if you will, although it's not actually the flu."
     "I know." I smiled gently.
     "Oh, right, of course. I, uh, I got a really rough case of it, so I had to be taken to the hospital. The vomiting and diarrhea sucked big time, but I did like that I was getting a lot of days off school and was allowed to play so many video games. I stayed there for a week until I was better. My parents told me I would be going home later that afternoon, so they went to our house to get me some clothes and prepare to take me back. One of the doctors came in while they were gone. She, eh, Dr. Wo...Dr. Wool. She was..."

Arbor struggled to continue. His voice got so quiet, fear flashed in his eyes, and his clenched fists  started to shake. The color in his face was fading, and I wanted to just embrace him as tight as I could. I couldn't though. Arbor wanted to do this. He'd asked for my patience. The least I could do was not encourage him to fail.

As his gaze sank to the ground, I understood that he was slipping from his goal anyway. Lacing my fingers softly with his brought his eyes to mine, and I returned a smile to my lips. That encouraged him enough, I suppose, for Arbor's squeezed my hand, nodded slightly, and released my hold to stand a bit straighter.

     "I'd liked her well enough and thought her really interesting, mostly for her color. She was an incredibly pale gray, so much so that she had to correct most people due to them thinking she had albinism. We hadn't talked too much though, and she wasn't actually one of the staff taking care of me. It was just a thing of hers to walk around and visit the other patients. I thought it a little strange then when she did walk in that afternoon and tell me she had to give me a shot. 'It will relax your body and strengthen you so the last of the pain goes away faster', is what she said. I believed her, of course. She was a doctor, and I was just a kid. The shot did help me relax...in that it put me completely under. When I woke up, I, um, I wasn't in the hospital. I wasn't home. I was in this gray, almost-white room with no windows handcuffed to a bed."

Now it was my turn to struggle to keep eye-contact. Those words alone told me everything I needed to know. It explained why Arbor had changed. It explained why he had jerked away from being touched when I first met him. It explained why he hadn't been able to stand being around Ethereal and Ephemeral, and why Ephemeral's teasing had chased him off. It explained why he'd been so uncomfortable just hearing the word 'sex.'

     "That woman was messed up. She told me when she came into the room that she'd been waiting eagerly for the secured, soundproofed basement she'd had built to be done so she could find the perfect 'playmate' to invite over," Arbor continued, his tone quivering but his determination standing its ground, "She told me she had waited so long. That she couldn't hold back any longer. The sedative she'd given me had made me too weak to fight back. The handcuff made it impossible to run away. Then there was the fact again that she was a grown woman and I was just a kid. There was...there was nothing I could do except cry and beg. It didn't make a damn difference. Only made it worse, if anything. Had to have us keep 'playing' until I felt better. I was trapped in that place for a week before the police finally found the isolated house she illegally bought. By the end of it, there was nothing of me that was left untouched. If you asked how many times...I couldn't tell you."

There was no doubt about it, tears burned my eyes even if none fell yet. What made it worse was that Arbor saw that and smiled at me. I couldn't even imagine the dark memories he was fighting to hold back, but there he was comforting me as best he could in the moment.

     "I suffered some light physical injuries, but, as you can imagine, most of the damage was mental and emotional. A state of shock took me over for the first couple weeks, and as the trial for Dr. Wool began to get underway another blow came. She revealed that she was pregnant."
     "Arbor..." I whispered, horrified and aghast and utterly overwhelmed, "But...does that mean..."
     "No, there's no child," he revealed, taking a moment to close his eyes and breathe, "She wanted to have it, but my parents were obviously of a different mind. They had our lawyer work with hers to make a deal in order to convince her to terminate the pregnancy. She agreed and got a nicer jail cell and better amenities out of it. I didn't care at the time, about her being pregnant or the deal. I just wanted to be over and done with hearing about her. That's pretty much what I still feel now. Thankfully, she'll be in jail until she's an old, withered woman who will then hopefully just perish lonely and unloved. I do feel bad about the baby that could have been not getting a chance to live for reasons that it was not at blame for, but it was better, I think, that it wasn't born. It was hard enough for me to scramble out of the dark pit that bitch put me in, and if I had to live with the knowledge that I had an eight-year-old son or daughter out there at this point who knows how much more that stress would have pushed me down. Maybe...maybe I might not even be here at all."

Arbor held out his left arm when I grew confused and suspiciously curious. He softly took my hand and placed it over a certain spot on his arm.

     "I don't think you ever noticed the scars, and the scars are why I wanted to get the tattoos," he explained as I felt the few light ridges covered in black that I thought had been veins, "People would see them and ask questions or judge. The tattoos started on my arms to begin with, but mom and dad let me keep going because getting them made me better. Having these pictures on my body gave me a wall to hide behind. Better for people to talk about them than be able to look directly at me and see how screwed up I was. Those first few years were the darkest. I was broken, violent, and explosive. I lost all my friends, and my parents gave up on having another child because it took all their effort to keep me from falling apart entirely. That's why they began letting me drink and smoke. It wasn't an ideal solution, but it dulled the pain enough for me to fight back. This school year was actually the first since the incident where I wasn't seeing a therapist. And now..."

The worst having been said and done, Arbor spoke more soundly. He gave me a smile full of adoration and tenderness while he brushed the several tears quietly trickling down my cheeks away.

     "I've had the best year I've had in a long time. It took a bit, but I've got people I can talk to now. Your family and your friends, I've been feeling lately that I can really start calling them my own as well. And, of course, there's you. Dia, because you gave me a chance, I can...can say I'm happy. I'm glad I'm alive. I'm glad I toughed it out. You love me, and I wish I hadn't been letting myself lose control again so I could have taken those words as I should. I've just had this mindset for the longest time that I can't be happy. That the world will crush me down once more as soon as I start to believe. I thought you telling me what you did yesterday was that blow. The darkness that creeps up from time to time told me I was disgusting and undesirable. That I was forever tainted because of what had happened," Arbor admitted softly before shaking his head, "And the darkness was wrong. I was wrong. You were offering me everything. You were trusting me with all of you because you love me that deeply. I betrayed that completely, and I can't say how sorry I am. I'm sorry for that, and I'm sorry for now. I hate the pain I carry, and the last thing I want is to have it hurt you too. I spent so many hours madly trying to come up with a way to say this without it being so bad, but all I could come up with was to tell the truth."
     "It's fine. Arbor, it's so fine," I replied with a tight throat, blinking back the crying, "You did the right thing. It does hurt to know you were hurt, but I'm glad you told me. More than that though, I'm glad you're still here. I'm glad you kept trying. Thank you."

Believing I was getting my emotions under control, my heart skipped once again at seeing Arbor's expression. It was the bad kind of heart skip. His smile was pained and guilty, and he shifted sheepishly.

     "You might be wanting to save your thanks. There's something else I have to tell you."
     "Which is?"
     "There's another reason besides me figuring out what I wanted to say as to why it took me so long to call you today. My parents had some news for me when they got home last night. My grandparents, my mom's mom and dad, they've been planning to move overseas for a while now. They've got everything settled and will be heading off mid-summer. The two of them got this idea and had my parents pass it along to me. They want me to come and stay with them for a while. I've always wanted to travel, and they're also hoping it will help me continue to heal. It'll give me a distraction while I keep working on kicking the smoking and then perhaps even the alcohol. Now that I'm more confident, more sure, I can properly enjoy what the world has to offer."
     "How long would you be gone?" I asked tentatively.
     "They want to start it out with a year," he revealed, and he held back a cringe as my expression obviously turned poor and distraught at the revelation, "Maybe more depending on how much I need or want. And that is why I told you not to thank me. I barely slept last night because I weighed everything and doubted myself until I finally came to a decision. I'm going, Dia. I have to go. No matter how much I want to be with you, this is something I need for myself."
     "So you're going to stick by what you said about us not being together anymore then." I heavily accepted what I thought he was saying.
     "No! No, Dia. Not in the slightest," Arbor challenged, grabbing my arms with desperate pleading in his eyes, "I don't want to break up with you. I...I love you so much it scares me. I want to stay together while I'm gone. However, I know I'm asking a lot. Your classes will be getting harder, and long-distance relationships don't have the best reputation for working out. I want to try though, but it's your decision as well. Whatever you want, whatever you choose, I'll understand."
     "I..."

It was awful. Looks like the lake was cursed. Almost nothing good happened when I came here. The tears that had been fading trickled out harder with a vengeance. It was all too much. The stress and anger of yesterday, the heartbreak from hearing of Arbor's pain, this disappointment of the belief he would be right by side for the years I did my schooling here breaking, and the clawing loneliness of imagining what it would be like to have him so far away...I couldn't keep it inside even as I scolded myself to be mature. Arbor more than deserved to go after living through such a hell.

     "I don't want you to go. Please don't go." I squeaked out before I could stop myself, hurriedly clinging to him as if he might disappear right then and there.
     "I'm sorry," he held me again as he'd done in the past, "I really am, but I'm going. I'm not changing my mind."

God, if that didn't make my heart swell for him more. How long had it been? Eight months? A little over eight months Arbor and I had known each other, and I still couldn't fathom how everything had changed between us since then. Nor how much Arbor had changed. He'd gone from not caring at all to caring so much, and now here he stood so certain and determined to keep breaking his past chains. I was so proud of him, of how far he'd come. To hold him back when he was at the most crucial moment would be terrible.

     "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so selfish," I sniffled an apology, "Please go, and have the best time. I've wanted to travel too, so make sure you tell me all about it. Maybe next summer I can plan my summer classes in a way where I can visit for a few weeks."
     "That would be great. I'd love that immensely." Arbor agreed with a nod, stroking my hair.

I let out a long, shaky breath and closed my eyes as I rest my head against the crook of his neck. It would be alright- I convinced myself of that. It felt like too much now because of everything else that had happened. Arbor and I still had months to hang out before he left, and technology obviously made it easy to stay in touch. I would be so busy with schoolwork and Arbor would be so busy exploring a new place with his grandparents that time would fly by. There was no need to worry.

     "I love you, Dia." Arbor whispered into the calm quiet.

The warmth of his words spreading throughout every inch of my body stopped my light shaking.

     "I love you too."

The rest of that afternoon was bittersweet. Arbor and I stayed together until it grew dark soaking up the other's presence, but when it came time to leave a heavier weight rested on our departure. Our time was now limited, and every second we didn't spend with the other felt like a waste. The last couple weeks of school and forced separation would have been worse if Arbor hadn't made the decision to try harder than he had before. He really opened himself up with my friends, save for Timber of course, and he did what he could to win over the rest of our classmates. The bullying had died down after Christmas, so by the time graduation came he had more or less succeeded in forging a neutral standing with almost everyone. It was great. Our parents all chipped in for us to have a graduation party at one of the nice resort inns. Arbor smiling, laughing, and goofing off with everyone the whole afternoon made it feel as if he'd been one of us forever.

Then summer break began. It was one of the weirdest transitions for me. My years had been the same ever since I was a little kid. There was school, three months off, and then more school. Over and over that'd gone on, but now there was school, one week off, and then more school. I'd elected to take several of my classes over the break to give me even more a head-start. Not that it felt like much of a head-start given that they would continue until it was time for me to begin schooling full-time once more in the fall. The peaceful, easy years were over. There would be no more uninterrupted months of pure bliss and no responsibility ever again. At least, not until I retired or something.

     "So, you're still doing general medical study at the moment?"

Arbor, blessedly, had no problem sticking around even when we couldn't go out and do anything fun due to my need to study. He was currently flipping through my textbooks.

     "Yeah, although I'll be starting the specialized classes once the fall semester begins."
     "Somehow, I never bothered to ask- what kind of doctor are you going to be? I mean, I know there's lots of different branches."
     "For quite a while I really had no idea, but now I'm aiming to be an internist."
     "Which is?"
     "Physicians who specialize in internal medicine for adults. They're sometimes called 'the doctor's doctor.' They have to have a broad yet comprehensive knowledge of the body and all that can inflict it. They're experts in diagnosis, treatment, health promotion, and disease prevention."
     "Sounds pretty awesome. And way over my head to ever do."
     "I think the same thing myself from time to time," I chuckled, "But there's no stopping me now."

Although I still had to work and study, the summer classes weren't nearly as intense. There was plenty of time to enjoy the great weather and company of family and friends. Heading to the beach was a constant as it was every year. We lived off hamburgers, hot dogs, and fresh fish. The major change was that there was no plan to head over to Tinseltown. My schedule didn't allow it, and our friends and family there were busy as well. Ethereal and Ephemeral were heading to some tropical islands as part of their graduation present from their grandparents, and Uncle Prism needed a good long break without having to worry about entertaining us after finishing up a long streak of filming. However, I know I rather enjoyed simply staying home. Tinseltown would become my main base of operations for a number of years while I completed my higher education, so getting extra time in at Berrybrook helped ease the ache of my indecisiveness. I hadn't chosen yet whether I wanted to stay in my hometown or return to the land of glittering lights when it came time for me to head out on my own.

Arbor and I also had to make a choice regarding our uncertainty over a big matter. Once everything had all been talked out about that day we were almost together, it did open up that option of being intimate without having to worry of secrets hanging above our heads. We might have done something...if not for the knowledge of Arbor's quickening departure. The days passed fast. While neither of us intended for the separation to break apart our relationship, we also both silently understood that was what every other couple believed when they went long-distance as well. The truth was that we had no clue what would happen. Would it be no issue? Would we break apart before my first college semester was over? Given that Arbor wouldn't be home for the holidays, there was no telling how long it would be before we saw each other again. That's why nothing happened with us. Neither he nor I cared to take that last big step with a possibility of a break-up looming. The selfish voice within me did constantly hope something would go wrong with Arbor's visa or that he would change his mind, but I hushed it up. Then the day of his departure arrived.

     "I...I am sorry about this. I didn't make the decision lightly." Arbor spoke as he rubbed his neck nervously while we waited for his parents to finish preparing for the trip we were taking to the airport.
     "Stop apologizing," I smiled as much as I could, "There's no need to feel guilty. I want you to go and be happy over there. It's an incredible opportunity, and, I must admit, I'm pretty jealous."
     "I'll send back as much as my grandparents are willing to pay customs for to help with that," Arbor joked back before his expression contorted in guilt and mild regret as his teasing manner instantly faded, "I'm just going to miss you a lot."
     "I'll miss you too, but if time continues to pass as quickly as it has since school end a year or a year and a half won't be much at all."

Arbor nodded in supposed agreement, but doubt and worry remained on his face. I'm sure they lingered on my own as well. We sunk into a kiss that was long, slow, and tender to drive out the hesitation. There was no need to get this way before the car was even turned on.

     "Thank you for everything, Dia. No matter what happens in my life now, I'm not going to let it break me down. I'm sure I'll make plenty more stupid mistakes and either hurt or be hurt, but I won't forget all the good that's still out there. I refuse to go back to the way I was. I...I like being me." Arbor said gently as he shifted us from a kiss to a close embrace.
     "I'm glad you do. You're amazing, and beautiful, and I'm proud and grateful to see you growing. You've come so far, and I worry you're now going to be charming a lot of women's hearts while you're gone." I ended with a little, teasing grin.
     "Mm, well, if that does happen, they're going to be very disappointed." Arbor chuckled before returning for another kiss.
     "Good."

It went deeper than before. We ignored Arbor's parents glancing at us from inside the house. It amused me how open we'd become. However, I couldn't miss a single chance for Arbor's touch and the feelings that overcame me. Even though we would go on to have a whole car ride where we held hands and another deep kiss when we said our last goodbyes at the airport, the wait until the next time was already far too long.