It had been a long week at the beautiful islands, but it was already our last full day on vacation. We would be spending time together as our one big group in the afternoon, but for that morning the girls had gone off to do their thing while we boys went another way to do ours. Most of our time had gone into fast-paced activities like speeding around at the new go-kart track. Now, however, we were slowing down for a nice of lunch of, surprise, hot dogs at Uncle Sap's favorite spot on the islands before we were due to meet up with the girls.
"I can't believe that more people don't come up here or even know about this place." I remarked as I glanced at the picturesque pond and brilliant view we had from our elevated position.
"I know! Even the majority of locals don't bother with this area. Although, I suppose I should be glad. This spot wouldn't be as enjoyable as it is if it was full of people and tourists like the beaches and shops are." Uncle Sap recognized.
I nodded in agreement before I took another good look around me. I was well familiarized with the spot even though this was my first time here. Mom had taken many pictures of the location on the two times she had been to Tropic Luna. Her most recent visit had been a vacation she and dad took by themselves when Prism and Desire were two. Before that, she had come with Uncle Sap and his family when they had been in high school. Thinking of that fact brought a big smile to my face.
"You know what I can't believe even more? That you and mom were a thing, even if it was for a short bit. It just seems really weird. It's strange enough seeing all her old photos and videos of her and Uncle Al kissing and being cuddly, but I can't picture you and her together at all." I laughed a little.
"If it seems that way even to you, I guess that is another solid sign of how deeply we weren't made for each other," Uncle Sap chuckled back, "Honestly, sometimes I even forget Ethereal and I tested the romantic waters together. It was such a short amount of time that we even acted like a couple, and nothing was done 'officially' either. It probably doesn't help that the Ethereal I know now and the Meadow I knew growing up feel like different people."
"Wasn't granddad all proud of himself or something when he learned that Auntie 'Thereal was white or whatever?" Azure asked.
"After the shock of the truth wore off and things calmed down once Ethereal was safe and living life like normal again, he gave me the stupidest, silliest smug smile I've ever seen," Uncle Sap recalled in amusement with a roll of his eyes, "He felt pretty satisfied in his ability to pick out girls he thought were suitable matches for me."
Now Azure laughed and nodded.
"It still gets me how you said grandma and grandpa were so subtly adamant about having you, Aunt Bud, and Aunt Chio all marry someone else who was green, but none of you did."
"It was exactly like I thought. They didn't actually care about our line remaining Solid. They had their preference, sure, but as stuffy as they can be about certain things they're not the type to judge about superficial things such as color." Uncle Sap shrugged.
"Did your parents care about you marrying mom?" Midas turned to Uncle Frost.
"They couldn't have cared less- especially mom. She's spent the majority of her life patching up people's insides. It's all the same once you get past the skin, so what is on the outside doesn't bother her at all. The only thing that bothered mom and dad was them learning that Flower and I were doing certain things before we got married." he answered, shooting a disapproving stare at Uncle Sap.
"Why in the world are you giving me that look?" he laughed loudly, "It was Sunflower who told Sunset who told Purity, and I didn't know just like she didn't know that your parents were in the next room over when she told me about it."
"So you were like that when you were younger, huh?" Midas jumped back in teasingly, turning towards his dad, "Any chance I'll be getting a younger sibling in the near future then? It does get boring sometimes being the only one."
"No chance at all. One is more than enough." Uncle Frost taunted back with a smirking, but loving, grin.
Azure, Uncle Sap, and I laughed at the two of them before Uncle Frost and Midas bantered back and forth. Azure jumped in with a well-timed comment every now and again. I was more than to content to just listen and enjoy the cheerful atmosphere instead of actively participating. Despite me having done a good job at ignoring the real world, the impending end of the vacation brought my now familiar worries back to my chest. It was going to be tougher than usual to ignore dad's missing presence when he wasn't there to greet me. It was going to be hard to lie a little more now since I had to juggle not revealing how I knew about Rosemary's situation. School would be starting back up in three weeks as well. My mom was still enough of a mini-celebrity in my hometown for dad's disappearance to have made it into the news reports. I'm sure I was going to be bogged down with questions from my classmates I didn't routinely see outside of school. I couldn't forget about the homework I would have to deal with again either. Yuck.
So, having everyone around me laughing and making jokes was a good distraction. When the meal was over, the trash was thrown away, and the others prepped to leave, I stole a moment to stand near the cliff and soak up another moment of a peace while I had the chance.
I was on the plane back home before I wanted to be. It felt as if I had only just gotten on the plane that took us to Tropic Luna. I could definitely understand why mom had been so desperate to go back the first chance she got. Part of me entertained the idea of crying more if it earned me more free trips to amazing places. The imagining was all in good fun, of course. I'm sure me trying to manipulate the adults to get them to feel sorry for me was be far too obvious and would more likely result in me getting reprimanded. Returning home wasn't as depressing as I thought it would be though. I got a lot of good sleep on the flight, and when I was dropped off at home the place was lively with faces I wasn't expecting to see.
"Grandma! Grandpa! Aunt Sunset!" I couldn't help but to say in amazement when I spotted exactly who was making all the ruckus at the dining table.
All of the adults turned my way and spoke words of greeting. I rushed over to Aunt Sunset first as she was standing playing with Cerise.
"Did Sienna and Persi come along too?" I asked eagerly.
Sienna was her daughter who was a bit older than me, and Persimmon was her son who was a bit younger than me.
"It's just me, unfortunately," Aunt Sunset responded with a playful smile, "The whole trip was very unplanned. I was only able to come as Canna's shoot was delayed."
That was her husband.
"Sienna and Persi are actually both under the weather at the moment," she continued, "He was able to stay home and look after them while I came here."
"It's a visit very much appreciated." mom joined in gratefully.
"Well, it's not like I could have stayed away at a time like this," Aunt Sunset said with a sad sigh, "If Canna's career hadn't picked back up, I wonder if I wouldn't be planning a move back here right about now. I'm not really doing so much acting anymore, and I hate being so far away."
"You know we'd love you back anytime, especially since you whisked your parents away to Tinseltown with you," mom teased with a grin, "But I think we both know you prefer we're you're at now. Sienna and Persi would have a fit too if you dragged them from one of the most famous places on earth to humble Berrybrook. Those two love to brag."
"True, true. I've spoiled them too well." Aunt Sunset laughed.
Grandma coming over with something in her hands changed the conversation. She had gotten up while the talking had been going on, and now there was a present set on the counter nearby. Different to what you might think, I looked at it with dread.
"Is that for me?" I asked reluctantly.
"It is indeed." Grandma answered brightly, and mom, grandpa, and Aunt Sunset all chuckled when I groaned.
I wasn't grown enough to have matured out of the squishy cheek phase of my life. As such, grandma demanded that she get the chance to pinch and poke at them. She was traditional in that sort of sense. Her intruding on my face like that was the payment required before I was given whatever gift she had brought. It had been that way with Wisp, Prism, and Desire too before they lost their squishy cheeks. Now it was just me and Cerise left to bear the pain. I couldn't wait for the day when I 'graduated' from the requirement and only had to watch Cerise and my new sibling deal with it.
With a bit of a sigh and a glance to the right, I presented the side of my face. I ignored everyone else's chuckles while grandma had fun pressing my cheek chub between her fingers. I didn't often think of the day when I would be a grandparent myself, but I was already determined I wouldn't put my poor grandchildren through such turmoil.
Thankfully, grandma could quite easily see I wasn't in the mood to have my face lovingly assaulted for long. She gave me a proper hug and kiss before picking the present up and giving it to me. That was when I allowed myself to feel excited. My grandparents almost always brought over little treats and toys when they visited, but I could tell this was more than that.
"It's an early birthday gift," grandma explained, "From Jungle and I to you. We wanted to give it to you in person now in case we couldn't make it to your party."
That made me a little sad to hear that. Naturally, grandma and grandpa were nearing the ends of their lives. They used to drive down to Berrybrook every weekend, but they were now often too exhausted or too sick to come more than once a month. That had led to us making more trips their way, but it was hard to wrangle all of us kids up with the different activities we had going on. Grandma and grandpa had ultimately missed Cerise's third birthday as they had both come down with nasty colds.
"Can I open it now, or should I wait until my birthday?" I asked.
"You can do whatever you'd like, sweetheart." grandma smiled.
"Hmm, I'll wait then. It's only six more weeks till my birthday, and I like to open everything at once." I decided.
Per grandpa's suggestion, I rushed the gift into mom's room and stuck it under her bed so that there would be much less temptation for me to open it prematurely. I stood by mom to give her a proper greeting, hug, and kiss. I didn't bother to make any sort of inquiries about changes in dad's investigation. If there was anything to say, I'm sure it would have been the first thing I would have been told.
"Are you feeling better?" I asked her curiously.
"I've been doing a lot better, thankfully," mom said, "The spa passes Purity gave me have been helping me out immensely. She gave me so many, but I've already used up almost all of them. I might just have to break down and buy a membership myself."
"You know you can let us know whenever you need something." grandpa reminded her gently.
"Same here!" Aunt Sunset added eagerly.
"I know. I appreciate the offers. I really do, but...please, no one give me any more money," mom laughed, "Am and I have plenty saved since we were a little paranoid of anything happening given the kind of people we angered. Then Quartz, once he heard about what happened, went ahead and gave Blaze a check with a massive amount of money even though I told Quartz not to and told Blaze not to accept it. I know Quartz has put Am and me down in his will to get a good chunk of his inheritance even though I told him not to do that either. Money, blessedly, is not an issue at this point."
"Does that mean that if I ask for a scooter for my birthday that there should be no issue in purchasing one for me?" I wondered enthusiastically.
"There would be no monetary issues for getting you one, but that does not make the dozen other issues I have with you riding one by yourself disappear." mom denied right away.
"How's the baby doing?" I asked with dry, sarcastic disappointment to poke fun at my lighthearted pouting of the rejection.
"The baby is fine. My doctor says the baby is fine," mom ignored my teasing and spoke honestly with a hint of worry, "But I'm still panicking a little. After losing that weight thanks to the morning sickness, I've only just hit my normal weight again- and I'm more than two months along now!"
There was an amused sigh from the kitchen where Aunt Sunset had moved with Cerise to get the latter some water. She shook her head and smiled at both me and mom.
"She's been like this the entire week. It's been next to impossible to get her to talk about anything else," Aunt Sunset explained before looking at mom a bit more seriously, "You refusing to stop worrying about this is only going to make what you're worrying about actually come true. Just like the doctor said, the baby isn't far enough in its development for you to be needing to gain copious amount of weight yet. Don't you remember Rose's pregnancy? Look at how long it took her for her to gain lots of weight, and look at how perfectly normal Hunter came out. Just follow that diet your doctor recommended and keep doing what you can to combat your morning sickness. Your stomach will start bloating up, and then you'll be begging to be your normal weight again."
"I know, but-"
"No buts!" Aunt Sunset instantly interrupted mom, "You're going to listen to what I've said this time around, and you're going to start thinking more positively now. Maybe focus on whether the baby will be a boy or a girl."
I turned my head towards mom with another teasing grin.
"What if you have twins again?" I asked mischievously.
"Nice try, but my doctor confirmed it's just one." mom smirked back.
"You can tell already?" I remarked in curiosity and with a hint of disappointment.
"Fraternal twins like Pris and Desi are obviously already separate as there's two eggs that have been fertilized, and identical twins form about a week after conception." mom explained.
"Oh."
"I want a boy and a girl!" Cerise piped up merrily.
"But like mom just said, she's only going to have one baby. It can only be one or the other." I responded.
"It can a boy and a girl!"
"That's not usually how it works." Aunt Sunset told her.
"You can't be both?" Cerise wondered with a frown.
Aunt Sunset hesitated, for if that question was to be taken seriously there would actually be quite the deep and long discussion about societal constructs and different identities and all that good stuff. My toddler sister who would have no way to grasp all of that was eventually given the simple answer.
"The baby will be either a boy or a girl." Aunt Sunset confirmed.
"I want a boy then." Cerise decided.
"Sounds good to me!" I agreed.
There was some more talking after that about the baby's gender. Both mom and grandpa didn't mind either way while grandma and Aunt Sunset hoped it would be another girl. When the brief discussion was over, I brought my suitcase upstairs. I actually started to unpack right away, something highly abnormal for me, but I was interrupted as grandpa and Prism invited me to play soccer with them. It was more grandpa coaching us as he couldn't move well enough to play anymore. Soccer wasn't really my thing, but I enjoyed it when grandpa was around. It also meant Prism and I had an excuse to kick at each other's feet when he pretended to miss the ball. I'm pretty sure grandpa knew what we were getting up to, but he seemed fine with our brotherly roughhousing as long as we weren't too obnoxious about it.
Prism and I ran all over the backyard. We made sure to avoid the seesaw though. Aunt Sunset had to leave that afternoon to catch her flight back to Tinseltown, but she had enough time left to cuddle and hog Cerise. She and my sister took one seat on the seesaw while Desire claimed the other. Up and down and up and down they went for what felt like a full hour. Cerise, giggling and laughing the whole time, couldn't get enough. Her enthusiasm kept Desire and Aunt Sunset going past when they normally would have tired.
Uncle Blaze and Wisp showed up from the outing they had been on just before Aunt Sunset left. That delayed her for a few minutes, but she was soon off leaving a promise to bring along Canna, Sienna, and Persimmon next time. Grandma and grandpa had a bit of drive in order to get home for the evening, so the three of them got to work on making an early dinner to eat before they had to depart. I ignored my unpacking longer by watching the game of pool Uncle Blaze and Wisp got going. With everyone milling about, it was a perfectly ordinary, and lazy, Sunday afternoon.
So, things were going well. Then mom got attacked by her morning sickness halfway through dinner. I had to cover my ears and close my eyes as she barely made it to the sink on time. Everyone had a little trouble continuing to eat after Uncle Blaze led her to her bathroom where she continued to puke her guts up for about twenty minutes. Thankfully, she perked up quickly after the vomiting fit ceased. Mom comforted her parents who contemplated staying the night to make sure she was alright, and they took off half an hour later.
Prism and Desire were in charge of cleaning up the dishes, Wisp watched over Cerise, and Uncle Blaze ordered me to go finish unpacking before I put it off any longer. It took me forever as my energy levels were dipping rather low. I dropped even some of my clean clothes in my laundry hamper as I couldn't be bothered to fold them back into my dresser. I shoved most of my souvenirs and things like that under the bed for the moment too as I didn't feel like finding a more proper place to put them. Feeling as if the second I put my head on my pillow that I would fall asleep for a thousand years, I went to go see how mom was doing before I crashed for the rest of the day. She had seemingly just gotten out of a bath and was working on something on her computer.
"French?" I said when I saw all the foreign words on the document and web page she was switching between.
"Uh-huh. Translating is what I've currently decided to strive for as a job."
"You're not going to try and get a degree then?"
"I'm working on that too, but that's going to take longer than I'd like to achieve. I want something that I can start up pretty quickly. I took some French in high school, and I'm working on my written abilities at the moment. It's all just memorizing the rules, tenses, and words, and I'm quite confident in my memorization skills," mom flashed me a smile, "The listening and speaking parts I'll deal with later. At the moment I can already handle simple sentences with ease, so it shouldn't take too much longer before I'm able to at least understand most of everything that is written before me."
"Are you going to major in French for your degree?"
"I don't really know yet," mom chuckled hopelessly, "Part of me does want to continue the astronomy degree I started, but I want to do something that enables me to work from home. That's why translating stuff online feels like the best fit."
I nodded. Obviously, I had no clue what it was like not to have mom around all the time. The idea of her having to take on a 9 to 5 job or something of that sort didn't right with me. If she wanted to go for a career like that, then I guess I had no right to complain. However, it was clear that wasn't what she wanted either. Mom continued working on her practice document as she was comfortable with letting me watch her basic translating in silence. I spent more time glancing her way than I did trying to figure out what the French on her screen was. Restless unease gripped my chest. Exactly like I thought, now that I was slipping out of my vacation mindset all I could focus on was the problems and issues that dad's disappearance brought on. Mom's response to the situation had not changed at all. She still kept up her optimistic air. She smiled a lot and laughed when it was appropriate. I frowned because even though mom had on her gentle smile as she worked I could tell it wasn't her real smile. She was one of the most giggly people I knew. Mom was even worse than Mimosa. Dad had told me she had always been like that, and I was now having a hard time recalling the last time I had seen her truly get swept away in merriment like what used to happen every other day.
"Hey, mom?"
"Hmm?"
"So, I...I know you don't like us listening in on stuff we aren't supposed to hear, but I swear I wasn't trying to eavesdrop on purpose. I was just walking to your room, and you were right in the middle of a conversation."
I said my words timidly, and I tried not to have my dedication falter when mom glanced my way with disapproval. That was my chance to stop myself before I took the plunge, but I knew I couldn't keep silent any longer. I couldn't stand knowing the truth and having to pretend that I didn't,
"That first time you went to the hospital for your morning sickness...I was just coming to your room to see how you were doing. I swear. But, I overheard you talking to Uncle Blaze about dad, him doing something he shouldn't, and what you feel really happened to him."
A hardened expression unlike any I had seen before appeared on mom's face. She instantly stopped typing, froze, and then turned her head my way. It wasn't anger I saw in her eyes, but it definitely wasn't good feelings dancing about either. Now total silence overtook the room while mom took the time to find her words.
"Forget about that. All of that," she said tersely- stiffly and dismissively returning to her work, "I won't get upset at you for listening to it, but you're going to have to act as if you never heard any of what you heard."
"What do you think I've been trying to do these past weeks?" I questioned back exasperatedly, "I have been acting. I did try to forget, and it didn't work. How could I forget something like that? I don't want to believe what you said, but it's all I can think about."
Already I hated the conversation. I didn't want to make mom wear the expression she was wearing, but I had two incredibly important questions eating away at me that I had to get answers to.
"Do you really think dad is dead?" I asked first, doing my best to keep my voice calm despite that dratted 'dead' word ripping at something within my chest.
"Coal, I mean it. I'm not in the mood to talk about this," mom dismissed me once more, "I'm starving as everything I've tried to eat comes right back up, and I'm exhausted because of that. This is the first point today where I've been able to get any sort of work done, and I'd like to be able to focus on it for a while before I have to battle my stomach for the millionth time. The nausea is already digging into my gut again."
That made me give up on getting an answer for that question already. In a way, mom's response was a direct answer. She was avoiding the truth because it was the truth. She did think dad was dead. If she thought the opposite, I don't think she would have made the point of dodging around it.
"Alright, I won't ask about that," I caved, "But, you have to answer this. You did tell Officer Noble about this extra stuff you know, right? If you know it wasn't that Company who took him, he surely needs to be alerted to that fact. He'll be looking in all the wrong places otherwise, and we'll never find out exactly what happened."
Mom ignored me and continued typing.
"Mom." I said more intently.
Nothing.
"Mom." I repeated, wrapping my arms around her right one to stop her from moving the mouse.
"Coal!"
"Did you tell Officer Noble? Yes or no?" I asked firmly.
"No! Alright? I didn't tell him anything about it." mom huffed irritably, abandoning her work and bitterly pushing in her chair after she stood up and turned her back towards me.
I immediately followed after her as she tried to walk away.
"What? Why not?!" I remarked in disbelief.
"Because it won't make a difference. That's all I'm going to say. Now, I mean it- leave this topic alone. I don't have any satisfying answers to give you, and I'm in pain, Coal. It's taking all my energy just to feel relatively normal, and I don't need you jumping into something you have no right to be involved in."
Mom said that, and I wasn't convinced. If I had been smarter, I would have been. I would have known that any slim chance of getting the answers I wanted would be better bartered for at another time. As it was, I was a slightly idiotic ten-year-old boy who was confused, heartbroken, and angry. There was a missing link that was preventing the search for dad from making any progress, and I was convinced mom held that missing link. She was hiding it for no good reason I could understand, and that infuriated me. My craving for answers blinded me to the own desperate needs of the parent I did have left.
I stomped my foot like the immature child I was.
"No way I'm going to accept that! How can you think that it won't make a difference? Of course it will!"
"I know what Am was trying to do. I know that he suspected another group besides The Company was involved. That's it. Am never told me anything else. I don't know any concrete details that could help Officer Noble, and revealing Am's goal will only result in more heartbreak." mom explained tensely, her voice fluctuating as she was barely keeping her rapidly rising anger under control.
"It will help! You might not be able to find out more information, but Officer Noble surely will! I'm sure he can, but he has to know there's another group to look out for first!"
"I don't want anyone to go looking into these groups anymore!" mom retorted with a shaking voice, "It's not going to change what happened to your father. It's not going to do anything but put more people in danger. Even if we find one person responsible, there's going to be dozens more lurking in the shadows waiting to strike back when the time is right. If it gets out that I know even about the existence of this group, or Blaze or now you for this matter, we might be next. A weak claim of justice is not worth jeopardizing our safety and risking hurting others the way we're hurting now."
"So, that's it, huh? You're just scared," I spoke coldly in bitter disbelief, "Maybe there is a chance that dad is still alive. Maybe there is a chance that we could help him and bring him home. But, you're willing to throw that away because you're frightened of what-ifs."
The expression on mom's face snapped. There was a venom in it unlike any I had ever seen. When she spoke, her voice was deep, sharp, and stinging. She sounded nothing like herself, and it seemed as if she was about to start screaming and burst into tears at the same time.
"Of course I'm frightened! I've spent my ENTIRE life being scared!" she half-shouted at me, and her tightened fist quivered, "I never knew what the next day would bring! Eden could have been killed! I could have been captured and sent right back to that isolated prison, and I shouldn't have to remind you that that almost happened! You see Wisp everyday, and he's living proof of the fate that I nearly avoided! I would have been forced to have baby after baby while being raped in between so my captors could make even more money than what they would have gotten for selling my children!"
My stare was already glued to the floor. My stomach was tightening to the point where I was now nauseated, and massive guilt and an upset heart spread an uncomfortable chill all over.
"Because that's what I was created for!" mom continued in her rage, "I was given life for the sole purpose of being a profitable experiment! Eden sacrificed more than he should have ever given up to keep the worst from happening, and others died for my sake! Three men and a women. Three fathers and a mother. Sons and a daughter. They stormed that Company compound because they somehow believed I was worth the risk! Even though their lives helped set me and the truth free, I still couldn't stop being afraid! The Company was dealt a crippling blow, but I know remnants of them are out there! I've had to look over my shoulder all this time and jump at every shadow in case it's them coming after me, or Wisp, or the rest of your siblings, or even you! I'm not naive enough to think they won't take their revenge some day! So, yes, I am frightened to have anyone delve needlessly into the same kind of danger that continues to haunt our existence!"
I don't know how I managed to lift my head up to glance at mom, and I regretted doing so. Her glare on me was nothing other than lethal. She had never yelled at me like this before, and I hadn't thought she was capable of getting this angry.
"But you've never cared about any of that, have you?!" she jumped right back into it, and I shifted miserably, "No, my story has been nothing but something for you to brag about! 'Oh, yeah, my mom is that famous albino! Isn't it cool how she had to hide in terror for years? She was kidnapped and abused and shot at like you see on television. Isn't that amazing! Yeah, and she had a pregnancy forced on her right out of high school too! How dramatic!' Do you have any idea how I felt whenever you talk about everything I suffered through like it was nothing more than a plot to a movie?!"
I couldn't do anything but cringe. I had never spoken quite so shallowly like how mom was mocking, but I couldn't claim that I was innocent of what I was being accused.
"And you've never stopped to think when you brag about all the stuff I can do either! I truly am nothing but an experiment, Coal!"
Her voice cracked then. Tears weren't far off, and as mom kept going I quickly realized she was venting to me now more than yelling at me.
"I got to know one of the scientists who was involved in my project better. He had tried to help me. Tried to stop the others from doing whatever the hell they wanted with me. He thought he succeeded, but he admitted he found out that the others went behind his back! They manipulated my embryo, and it was all done off the records so we have no idea what they did. I don't know what's me and what's their handiwork! There's no way I can naturally be as smart as I am, and all this other stuff I can do easily- it shouldn't be possible! I want to be bad at things! I want to be normal! That's all I've ever wanted, but I'm stuck in this manufactured body!"
Mom blinked back tears, and I felt like I should be crying too. I hated myself for pushing this situation when I should have so obviously left it alone. My chest stung so much I had to hiss in my breaths as I moved. I hadn't been entirely thrown off my belief that telling Officer Noble what mom knew would help us find dad or what happened to him, but I couldn't stand to see the way I had forced mom to be. I was the one who knew exactly the grief she was hiding. She was hurting the same way I had been, but I had only seen her cry that once. I had no idea if she had turned to anyone for help besides that moment with Blaze in the hospital. I doubted she had if her charade was anything to judge off of. On top of it all, she was dealing with a horrible pregnancy that everyone hinted was only going to get worse. I truly was an idiot by making everything she was hiding boil over. I hated myself more when her expression snapped to something scarily calm. Her emotions were being boxed back in, and it was something I didn't want to see.
"I think it's best if you went to your room." she said softly, turning away from me again.
"M-Mom, I-"
"Coal, please." she begged in a whisper.
I hesitated. I wish I could have dashed across those few feet to give her the biggest hug I ever had, but the uncertainty and fear of setting her off again was too great.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled out the apology as it was all I could muster.
Mom didn't move or say anything. I spun on my heel and booked it out of the room. I instantly made eye contact with a confused and concerned Uncle Blaze who was halfway towards heading to mom's room to see what the commotion was. He got not explanation out of me as I didn't know what else to do but fly up the stairs and hide in my room so he could try to remedy the mess I had made instead.
So, having everyone around me laughing and making jokes was a good distraction. When the meal was over, the trash was thrown away, and the others prepped to leave, I stole a moment to stand near the cliff and soak up another moment of a peace while I had the chance.
I was on the plane back home before I wanted to be. It felt as if I had only just gotten on the plane that took us to Tropic Luna. I could definitely understand why mom had been so desperate to go back the first chance she got. Part of me entertained the idea of crying more if it earned me more free trips to amazing places. The imagining was all in good fun, of course. I'm sure me trying to manipulate the adults to get them to feel sorry for me was be far too obvious and would more likely result in me getting reprimanded. Returning home wasn't as depressing as I thought it would be though. I got a lot of good sleep on the flight, and when I was dropped off at home the place was lively with faces I wasn't expecting to see.
"Grandma! Grandpa! Aunt Sunset!" I couldn't help but to say in amazement when I spotted exactly who was making all the ruckus at the dining table.
All of the adults turned my way and spoke words of greeting. I rushed over to Aunt Sunset first as she was standing playing with Cerise.
"Did Sienna and Persi come along too?" I asked eagerly.
Sienna was her daughter who was a bit older than me, and Persimmon was her son who was a bit younger than me.
"It's just me, unfortunately," Aunt Sunset responded with a playful smile, "The whole trip was very unplanned. I was only able to come as Canna's shoot was delayed."
That was her husband.
"Sienna and Persi are actually both under the weather at the moment," she continued, "He was able to stay home and look after them while I came here."
"It's a visit very much appreciated." mom joined in gratefully.
"Well, it's not like I could have stayed away at a time like this," Aunt Sunset said with a sad sigh, "If Canna's career hadn't picked back up, I wonder if I wouldn't be planning a move back here right about now. I'm not really doing so much acting anymore, and I hate being so far away."
"You know we'd love you back anytime, especially since you whisked your parents away to Tinseltown with you," mom teased with a grin, "But I think we both know you prefer we're you're at now. Sienna and Persi would have a fit too if you dragged them from one of the most famous places on earth to humble Berrybrook. Those two love to brag."
"True, true. I've spoiled them too well." Aunt Sunset laughed.
Grandma coming over with something in her hands changed the conversation. She had gotten up while the talking had been going on, and now there was a present set on the counter nearby. Different to what you might think, I looked at it with dread.
"Is that for me?" I asked reluctantly.
"It is indeed." Grandma answered brightly, and mom, grandpa, and Aunt Sunset all chuckled when I groaned.
I wasn't grown enough to have matured out of the squishy cheek phase of my life. As such, grandma demanded that she get the chance to pinch and poke at them. She was traditional in that sort of sense. Her intruding on my face like that was the payment required before I was given whatever gift she had brought. It had been that way with Wisp, Prism, and Desire too before they lost their squishy cheeks. Now it was just me and Cerise left to bear the pain. I couldn't wait for the day when I 'graduated' from the requirement and only had to watch Cerise and my new sibling deal with it.
With a bit of a sigh and a glance to the right, I presented the side of my face. I ignored everyone else's chuckles while grandma had fun pressing my cheek chub between her fingers. I didn't often think of the day when I would be a grandparent myself, but I was already determined I wouldn't put my poor grandchildren through such turmoil.
Thankfully, grandma could quite easily see I wasn't in the mood to have my face lovingly assaulted for long. She gave me a proper hug and kiss before picking the present up and giving it to me. That was when I allowed myself to feel excited. My grandparents almost always brought over little treats and toys when they visited, but I could tell this was more than that.
"It's an early birthday gift," grandma explained, "From Jungle and I to you. We wanted to give it to you in person now in case we couldn't make it to your party."
That made me a little sad to hear that. Naturally, grandma and grandpa were nearing the ends of their lives. They used to drive down to Berrybrook every weekend, but they were now often too exhausted or too sick to come more than once a month. That had led to us making more trips their way, but it was hard to wrangle all of us kids up with the different activities we had going on. Grandma and grandpa had ultimately missed Cerise's third birthday as they had both come down with nasty colds.
"Can I open it now, or should I wait until my birthday?" I asked.
"You can do whatever you'd like, sweetheart." grandma smiled.
"Hmm, I'll wait then. It's only six more weeks till my birthday, and I like to open everything at once." I decided.
Per grandpa's suggestion, I rushed the gift into mom's room and stuck it under her bed so that there would be much less temptation for me to open it prematurely. I stood by mom to give her a proper greeting, hug, and kiss. I didn't bother to make any sort of inquiries about changes in dad's investigation. If there was anything to say, I'm sure it would have been the first thing I would have been told.
"Are you feeling better?" I asked her curiously.
"I've been doing a lot better, thankfully," mom said, "The spa passes Purity gave me have been helping me out immensely. She gave me so many, but I've already used up almost all of them. I might just have to break down and buy a membership myself."
"You know you can let us know whenever you need something." grandpa reminded her gently.
"Same here!" Aunt Sunset added eagerly.
"I know. I appreciate the offers. I really do, but...please, no one give me any more money," mom laughed, "Am and I have plenty saved since we were a little paranoid of anything happening given the kind of people we angered. Then Quartz, once he heard about what happened, went ahead and gave Blaze a check with a massive amount of money even though I told Quartz not to and told Blaze not to accept it. I know Quartz has put Am and me down in his will to get a good chunk of his inheritance even though I told him not to do that either. Money, blessedly, is not an issue at this point."
"Does that mean that if I ask for a scooter for my birthday that there should be no issue in purchasing one for me?" I wondered enthusiastically.
"There would be no monetary issues for getting you one, but that does not make the dozen other issues I have with you riding one by yourself disappear." mom denied right away.
"How's the baby doing?" I asked with dry, sarcastic disappointment to poke fun at my lighthearted pouting of the rejection.
"The baby is fine. My doctor says the baby is fine," mom ignored my teasing and spoke honestly with a hint of worry, "But I'm still panicking a little. After losing that weight thanks to the morning sickness, I've only just hit my normal weight again- and I'm more than two months along now!"
There was an amused sigh from the kitchen where Aunt Sunset had moved with Cerise to get the latter some water. She shook her head and smiled at both me and mom.
"She's been like this the entire week. It's been next to impossible to get her to talk about anything else," Aunt Sunset explained before looking at mom a bit more seriously, "You refusing to stop worrying about this is only going to make what you're worrying about actually come true. Just like the doctor said, the baby isn't far enough in its development for you to be needing to gain copious amount of weight yet. Don't you remember Rose's pregnancy? Look at how long it took her for her to gain lots of weight, and look at how perfectly normal Hunter came out. Just follow that diet your doctor recommended and keep doing what you can to combat your morning sickness. Your stomach will start bloating up, and then you'll be begging to be your normal weight again."
"I know, but-"
"No buts!" Aunt Sunset instantly interrupted mom, "You're going to listen to what I've said this time around, and you're going to start thinking more positively now. Maybe focus on whether the baby will be a boy or a girl."
I turned my head towards mom with another teasing grin.
"What if you have twins again?" I asked mischievously.
"Nice try, but my doctor confirmed it's just one." mom smirked back.
"You can tell already?" I remarked in curiosity and with a hint of disappointment.
"Fraternal twins like Pris and Desi are obviously already separate as there's two eggs that have been fertilized, and identical twins form about a week after conception." mom explained.
"Oh."
"I want a boy and a girl!" Cerise piped up merrily.
"But like mom just said, she's only going to have one baby. It can only be one or the other." I responded.
"It can a boy and a girl!"
"That's not usually how it works." Aunt Sunset told her.
"You can't be both?" Cerise wondered with a frown.
Aunt Sunset hesitated, for if that question was to be taken seriously there would actually be quite the deep and long discussion about societal constructs and different identities and all that good stuff. My toddler sister who would have no way to grasp all of that was eventually given the simple answer.
"The baby will be either a boy or a girl." Aunt Sunset confirmed.
"I want a boy then." Cerise decided.
"Sounds good to me!" I agreed.
There was some more talking after that about the baby's gender. Both mom and grandpa didn't mind either way while grandma and Aunt Sunset hoped it would be another girl. When the brief discussion was over, I brought my suitcase upstairs. I actually started to unpack right away, something highly abnormal for me, but I was interrupted as grandpa and Prism invited me to play soccer with them. It was more grandpa coaching us as he couldn't move well enough to play anymore. Soccer wasn't really my thing, but I enjoyed it when grandpa was around. It also meant Prism and I had an excuse to kick at each other's feet when he pretended to miss the ball. I'm pretty sure grandpa knew what we were getting up to, but he seemed fine with our brotherly roughhousing as long as we weren't too obnoxious about it.
Prism and I ran all over the backyard. We made sure to avoid the seesaw though. Aunt Sunset had to leave that afternoon to catch her flight back to Tinseltown, but she had enough time left to cuddle and hog Cerise. She and my sister took one seat on the seesaw while Desire claimed the other. Up and down and up and down they went for what felt like a full hour. Cerise, giggling and laughing the whole time, couldn't get enough. Her enthusiasm kept Desire and Aunt Sunset going past when they normally would have tired.
Uncle Blaze and Wisp showed up from the outing they had been on just before Aunt Sunset left. That delayed her for a few minutes, but she was soon off leaving a promise to bring along Canna, Sienna, and Persimmon next time. Grandma and grandpa had a bit of drive in order to get home for the evening, so the three of them got to work on making an early dinner to eat before they had to depart. I ignored my unpacking longer by watching the game of pool Uncle Blaze and Wisp got going. With everyone milling about, it was a perfectly ordinary, and lazy, Sunday afternoon.
So, things were going well. Then mom got attacked by her morning sickness halfway through dinner. I had to cover my ears and close my eyes as she barely made it to the sink on time. Everyone had a little trouble continuing to eat after Uncle Blaze led her to her bathroom where she continued to puke her guts up for about twenty minutes. Thankfully, she perked up quickly after the vomiting fit ceased. Mom comforted her parents who contemplated staying the night to make sure she was alright, and they took off half an hour later.
Prism and Desire were in charge of cleaning up the dishes, Wisp watched over Cerise, and Uncle Blaze ordered me to go finish unpacking before I put it off any longer. It took me forever as my energy levels were dipping rather low. I dropped even some of my clean clothes in my laundry hamper as I couldn't be bothered to fold them back into my dresser. I shoved most of my souvenirs and things like that under the bed for the moment too as I didn't feel like finding a more proper place to put them. Feeling as if the second I put my head on my pillow that I would fall asleep for a thousand years, I went to go see how mom was doing before I crashed for the rest of the day. She had seemingly just gotten out of a bath and was working on something on her computer.
"French?" I said when I saw all the foreign words on the document and web page she was switching between.
"Uh-huh. Translating is what I've currently decided to strive for as a job."
"You're not going to try and get a degree then?"
"I'm working on that too, but that's going to take longer than I'd like to achieve. I want something that I can start up pretty quickly. I took some French in high school, and I'm working on my written abilities at the moment. It's all just memorizing the rules, tenses, and words, and I'm quite confident in my memorization skills," mom flashed me a smile, "The listening and speaking parts I'll deal with later. At the moment I can already handle simple sentences with ease, so it shouldn't take too much longer before I'm able to at least understand most of everything that is written before me."
"Are you going to major in French for your degree?"
"I don't really know yet," mom chuckled hopelessly, "Part of me does want to continue the astronomy degree I started, but I want to do something that enables me to work from home. That's why translating stuff online feels like the best fit."
I nodded. Obviously, I had no clue what it was like not to have mom around all the time. The idea of her having to take on a 9 to 5 job or something of that sort didn't right with me. If she wanted to go for a career like that, then I guess I had no right to complain. However, it was clear that wasn't what she wanted either. Mom continued working on her practice document as she was comfortable with letting me watch her basic translating in silence. I spent more time glancing her way than I did trying to figure out what the French on her screen was. Restless unease gripped my chest. Exactly like I thought, now that I was slipping out of my vacation mindset all I could focus on was the problems and issues that dad's disappearance brought on. Mom's response to the situation had not changed at all. She still kept up her optimistic air. She smiled a lot and laughed when it was appropriate. I frowned because even though mom had on her gentle smile as she worked I could tell it wasn't her real smile. She was one of the most giggly people I knew. Mom was even worse than Mimosa. Dad had told me she had always been like that, and I was now having a hard time recalling the last time I had seen her truly get swept away in merriment like what used to happen every other day.
"Hey, mom?"
"Hmm?"
"So, I...I know you don't like us listening in on stuff we aren't supposed to hear, but I swear I wasn't trying to eavesdrop on purpose. I was just walking to your room, and you were right in the middle of a conversation."
I said my words timidly, and I tried not to have my dedication falter when mom glanced my way with disapproval. That was my chance to stop myself before I took the plunge, but I knew I couldn't keep silent any longer. I couldn't stand knowing the truth and having to pretend that I didn't,
"That first time you went to the hospital for your morning sickness...I was just coming to your room to see how you were doing. I swear. But, I overheard you talking to Uncle Blaze about dad, him doing something he shouldn't, and what you feel really happened to him."
A hardened expression unlike any I had seen before appeared on mom's face. She instantly stopped typing, froze, and then turned her head my way. It wasn't anger I saw in her eyes, but it definitely wasn't good feelings dancing about either. Now total silence overtook the room while mom took the time to find her words.
"Forget about that. All of that," she said tersely- stiffly and dismissively returning to her work, "I won't get upset at you for listening to it, but you're going to have to act as if you never heard any of what you heard."
"What do you think I've been trying to do these past weeks?" I questioned back exasperatedly, "I have been acting. I did try to forget, and it didn't work. How could I forget something like that? I don't want to believe what you said, but it's all I can think about."
Already I hated the conversation. I didn't want to make mom wear the expression she was wearing, but I had two incredibly important questions eating away at me that I had to get answers to.
"Do you really think dad is dead?" I asked first, doing my best to keep my voice calm despite that dratted 'dead' word ripping at something within my chest.
"Coal, I mean it. I'm not in the mood to talk about this," mom dismissed me once more, "I'm starving as everything I've tried to eat comes right back up, and I'm exhausted because of that. This is the first point today where I've been able to get any sort of work done, and I'd like to be able to focus on it for a while before I have to battle my stomach for the millionth time. The nausea is already digging into my gut again."
That made me give up on getting an answer for that question already. In a way, mom's response was a direct answer. She was avoiding the truth because it was the truth. She did think dad was dead. If she thought the opposite, I don't think she would have made the point of dodging around it.
"Alright, I won't ask about that," I caved, "But, you have to answer this. You did tell Officer Noble about this extra stuff you know, right? If you know it wasn't that Company who took him, he surely needs to be alerted to that fact. He'll be looking in all the wrong places otherwise, and we'll never find out exactly what happened."
Mom ignored me and continued typing.
"Mom." I said more intently.
Nothing.
"Mom." I repeated, wrapping my arms around her right one to stop her from moving the mouse.
"Coal!"
"Did you tell Officer Noble? Yes or no?" I asked firmly.
"No! Alright? I didn't tell him anything about it." mom huffed irritably, abandoning her work and bitterly pushing in her chair after she stood up and turned her back towards me.
I immediately followed after her as she tried to walk away.
"What? Why not?!" I remarked in disbelief.
"Because it won't make a difference. That's all I'm going to say. Now, I mean it- leave this topic alone. I don't have any satisfying answers to give you, and I'm in pain, Coal. It's taking all my energy just to feel relatively normal, and I don't need you jumping into something you have no right to be involved in."
Mom said that, and I wasn't convinced. If I had been smarter, I would have been. I would have known that any slim chance of getting the answers I wanted would be better bartered for at another time. As it was, I was a slightly idiotic ten-year-old boy who was confused, heartbroken, and angry. There was a missing link that was preventing the search for dad from making any progress, and I was convinced mom held that missing link. She was hiding it for no good reason I could understand, and that infuriated me. My craving for answers blinded me to the own desperate needs of the parent I did have left.
I stomped my foot like the immature child I was.
"No way I'm going to accept that! How can you think that it won't make a difference? Of course it will!"
"I know what Am was trying to do. I know that he suspected another group besides The Company was involved. That's it. Am never told me anything else. I don't know any concrete details that could help Officer Noble, and revealing Am's goal will only result in more heartbreak." mom explained tensely, her voice fluctuating as she was barely keeping her rapidly rising anger under control.
"It will help! You might not be able to find out more information, but Officer Noble surely will! I'm sure he can, but he has to know there's another group to look out for first!"
"I don't want anyone to go looking into these groups anymore!" mom retorted with a shaking voice, "It's not going to change what happened to your father. It's not going to do anything but put more people in danger. Even if we find one person responsible, there's going to be dozens more lurking in the shadows waiting to strike back when the time is right. If it gets out that I know even about the existence of this group, or Blaze or now you for this matter, we might be next. A weak claim of justice is not worth jeopardizing our safety and risking hurting others the way we're hurting now."
"So, that's it, huh? You're just scared," I spoke coldly in bitter disbelief, "Maybe there is a chance that dad is still alive. Maybe there is a chance that we could help him and bring him home. But, you're willing to throw that away because you're frightened of what-ifs."
The expression on mom's face snapped. There was a venom in it unlike any I had ever seen. When she spoke, her voice was deep, sharp, and stinging. She sounded nothing like herself, and it seemed as if she was about to start screaming and burst into tears at the same time.
"Of course I'm frightened! I've spent my ENTIRE life being scared!" she half-shouted at me, and her tightened fist quivered, "I never knew what the next day would bring! Eden could have been killed! I could have been captured and sent right back to that isolated prison, and I shouldn't have to remind you that that almost happened! You see Wisp everyday, and he's living proof of the fate that I nearly avoided! I would have been forced to have baby after baby while being raped in between so my captors could make even more money than what they would have gotten for selling my children!"
My stare was already glued to the floor. My stomach was tightening to the point where I was now nauseated, and massive guilt and an upset heart spread an uncomfortable chill all over.
"Because that's what I was created for!" mom continued in her rage, "I was given life for the sole purpose of being a profitable experiment! Eden sacrificed more than he should have ever given up to keep the worst from happening, and others died for my sake! Three men and a women. Three fathers and a mother. Sons and a daughter. They stormed that Company compound because they somehow believed I was worth the risk! Even though their lives helped set me and the truth free, I still couldn't stop being afraid! The Company was dealt a crippling blow, but I know remnants of them are out there! I've had to look over my shoulder all this time and jump at every shadow in case it's them coming after me, or Wisp, or the rest of your siblings, or even you! I'm not naive enough to think they won't take their revenge some day! So, yes, I am frightened to have anyone delve needlessly into the same kind of danger that continues to haunt our existence!"
I don't know how I managed to lift my head up to glance at mom, and I regretted doing so. Her glare on me was nothing other than lethal. She had never yelled at me like this before, and I hadn't thought she was capable of getting this angry.
"But you've never cared about any of that, have you?!" she jumped right back into it, and I shifted miserably, "No, my story has been nothing but something for you to brag about! 'Oh, yeah, my mom is that famous albino! Isn't it cool how she had to hide in terror for years? She was kidnapped and abused and shot at like you see on television. Isn't that amazing! Yeah, and she had a pregnancy forced on her right out of high school too! How dramatic!' Do you have any idea how I felt whenever you talk about everything I suffered through like it was nothing more than a plot to a movie?!"
I couldn't do anything but cringe. I had never spoken quite so shallowly like how mom was mocking, but I couldn't claim that I was innocent of what I was being accused.
"And you've never stopped to think when you brag about all the stuff I can do either! I truly am nothing but an experiment, Coal!"
Her voice cracked then. Tears weren't far off, and as mom kept going I quickly realized she was venting to me now more than yelling at me.
"I got to know one of the scientists who was involved in my project better. He had tried to help me. Tried to stop the others from doing whatever the hell they wanted with me. He thought he succeeded, but he admitted he found out that the others went behind his back! They manipulated my embryo, and it was all done off the records so we have no idea what they did. I don't know what's me and what's their handiwork! There's no way I can naturally be as smart as I am, and all this other stuff I can do easily- it shouldn't be possible! I want to be bad at things! I want to be normal! That's all I've ever wanted, but I'm stuck in this manufactured body!"
Mom blinked back tears, and I felt like I should be crying too. I hated myself for pushing this situation when I should have so obviously left it alone. My chest stung so much I had to hiss in my breaths as I moved. I hadn't been entirely thrown off my belief that telling Officer Noble what mom knew would help us find dad or what happened to him, but I couldn't stand to see the way I had forced mom to be. I was the one who knew exactly the grief she was hiding. She was hurting the same way I had been, but I had only seen her cry that once. I had no idea if she had turned to anyone for help besides that moment with Blaze in the hospital. I doubted she had if her charade was anything to judge off of. On top of it all, she was dealing with a horrible pregnancy that everyone hinted was only going to get worse. I truly was an idiot by making everything she was hiding boil over. I hated myself more when her expression snapped to something scarily calm. Her emotions were being boxed back in, and it was something I didn't want to see.
"I think it's best if you went to your room." she said softly, turning away from me again.
"M-Mom, I-"
"Coal, please." she begged in a whisper.
I hesitated. I wish I could have dashed across those few feet to give her the biggest hug I ever had, but the uncertainty and fear of setting her off again was too great.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled out the apology as it was all I could muster.
Mom didn't move or say anything. I spun on my heel and booked it out of the room. I instantly made eye contact with a confused and concerned Uncle Blaze who was halfway towards heading to mom's room to see what the commotion was. He got not explanation out of me as I didn't know what else to do but fly up the stairs and hide in my room so he could try to remedy the mess I had made instead.
O.o wow that was dramatic. On a happier note Cerise is sooo adorable!!!
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