Fire

Although Eiji and I saw a lot of each other while I was pregnant, Eiji has spent almost all of his free time at the house now that Londuil has been born. It's rare when a day will pass and we've seen nothing of him. He ends up staying the night half the time. Nioniel, Pararil, Galaran, and Herindur have gotten quite accustomed to his presence, and I enjoy his help and friendship as well. Having Eiji around makes the days pass fast. Londuil has already become a toddler.

Somehow, I cannot understand exactly how it happened, but Londuil is like a male Elridia. Rather, he's like a male mini-me. He inherited my hair, eyes, and ears. He barely looks anything like Eiji. I'm definitely glad that Eiji has been around so much, because he knows for sure that Londuil is his despite his appearance. It's a relief to not have to worry like I did with Nioniel and Moon.

Unfortunately, that does not mean that I don't have anything to worry about. The most upsetting, perhaps irritating would be a better word to use, thing is Mr. Zeiss. I don't know if he is able to sense my presence at all times, but he suddenly ends up wherever I am when I go into town. I had lunch with him one time hoping that the meeting would make him less inclined to bother me. The conversation between us was dull, and worse, the encounter only made Mr. Zeiss more attached to me.

I've come up with a plethora of excuses that I keep ready for when I need to leave from wherever he is. I know I am not exactly being the nicest person by doing this. I can't help but to feel sorry for Mr. Zeiss too. It's clear that I'm not the only person who finds him bothersome. As I'm practically the only person who will tolerate him, I can see why he clings to me constantly.

Pararil had his birthday recently, and this has made me feel more at ease. Both Kedo and I can be seen in him equally. However, Pararil and I have been having arguments recently despite his generally even-tempered personality.

Pararil loves cars to the point where he's obsessed with knowing everything about them. His room is littered with magazines featuring every type of car imaginable. I never even knew there were so many styles, and I quickly become lost when Pararil tries to explain how the vehicles work or what they're made up of. Naturally, he's been on my case about getting the family a car of our own. Walking, using a bike, or riding Nari isn't satisfactory for him. I offered to get him one of those scooters I used in France, but that wasn't good enough for him either.

Pararil has been getting frustrated with me since I refuse to give him what he wants, and I get frustrated by his stubborn persistence.

Our little arguments have become rather unimportant now that I've discovered something else. I keep wondering whether it is alright to have let myself change so much. I accepted that I would have to change to survive here, but I've become so different that I wonder if it was possible that I was ever that other person.

When Eiji stays over, he sleeps in my bed of course. However, sometimes we've been doing a lot more than sleeping. I've gotten so used to giving myself up to men that all the reservations and taboos I had surrounding the act have almost all but disappeared. Eiji is an attractive man, and when the mood got right, I thought nothing of giving into temptation. In fact, I get somewhat disappointed when we end up only sleeping.

Now I must come to terms with the fact that my unrestricted behavior has consequences. I'm pregnant with Eiji's child once again, and I'm worried as to what will happen because of this. I've clearly gone against the task by having two children by the same man. I suppose this is just a lesson I have to face. I need to get my behavior back under control. At least 101 children isn't really any different from 100 children.

Eiji, thankfully, took the news well. He agreed that it really wasn't that surprising considering our actions. He is a bit worried about what his parents will think or do. They'll finally be visiting once winter arrives. I'm slowly beginning to dread their coming now.

I was really happy when we decided to have a large dinner party. It would take my mind off all my stresses. We decided to throw the party mostly for Nioniel and Galaran since their birthdays had come around. It will be a bit harder than normal to see Nioniel leave. Now I'll be the only female in a house full of males. I wonder if I'll be able to keep my sanity dealing with so many rambunctious boys.

It's times like this where I miss Elrunamir and Anondil's quieter personalities. I hope that my new baby would be a girl so I could get a small break from the stream of boys, but I found out the child will be a boy again. I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. The girls had their streak, and so now it's the boys' turn.

I had to gather all the extra tables and chairs so that everyone would have a place to sit for our lovely feast. Iselith, Saradith, and Elridia came over of course. Then there was Nioniel's friend, Teagan, and my acquaintance, Florence. I didn't bother counting Eiji as a guest since he's already over here all the time anyway.

Trying to be nicer, I also invited Mr. Zeiss to join us. I think the number of people frightened him though for he was much quieter than I know him to be. Honestly, I was a bit worried he would bring the mood down with his strange conversations, or that he would even unintentionally run one of the other guests off. That he was more reserved worked out well enough I suppose.

Everyone brought a dish to share. The whole kitchen was a massive, indulgent aroma of smells. I never thought just the scent of food could be so wonderfully delightful. I actually was excited that I was pregnant at such a time. I was able to eat so much more than I normally would, and no one could judge me for stuffing me face. Not that I actually think anyone would have singled me out. They were all stuffing their faces as well. Despite how much we wolfed down, there was still a large amount of leftovers.

I thought that we should definitely have dinners like this more often. I will always welcome the free food and fun company.

Unfortunately, the night took a total dive south. Eiji and I were getting Londuil ready for bed when the fire alarm went off. I thought that maybe the batteries might need to be replaced, or that the thing had gone faulty. Then we heard the screaming. Eiji and I rushed downstairs to find the kitchen and dining room engulfed in flames.

I can scarcely think of another time in my life where I've been so absolutely horrified. The entire house was crumbling to nothing within my mind. Thankfully, the others kept their wits about them. They stayed calm and took opportunity of all the fire fighting preparations I've made. I guess being a bit paranoid has its benefits at times like these. Eiji, Nioniel, and Pararil all grabbed a fire extinguisher and fought the flames. By the time the fire department arrived, the situation was mostly under control.

The whole kitchen was left in a state of disaster by the time the fire was finally out. The firefighter was really perplexed when she investigated the cause. She explained that the signs clearly showed that the fire started from under the table, but since no one had been in the kitchen at the time none of us could figure out how on earth a fire started from there.

Our guests were eager to get home. Iselith, Saradith, and Elridia all offered to chip in for the damages before they departed. Nioniel helped me to calm down Herindur, who was near hysterical. It took some time to coax him to fall asleep. Nioniel also finished getting Londuil ready for bed as well. Since the night had gotten so late, Nioniel's departure was delayed thanks to the chaos.

Once she, Pararil, and Galaran got into bed, Eiji and I surveyed the damage. I tried to be strong, but I started crying. Such awfully real visions of everyone and everything being destroyed by the fire continued to plague my mind. They were too terrifying. Eiji, Nioniel, and Pararil all received slight burns for their efforts in fighting the fire. It could have been too easy for something to have gone wrong. I could have lost one of them just like that.

I didn't feel any shame leaning on Eiji for support. I could tell he needed to hold me just as much as I needed to hold him.

I was hoping I would wake up the next morning and find everything how it should be. When I went downstairs I had to face reality. My three older boys were eating breakfast at the one table that somehow had escaped the wrath of the flames. At least we only need one table normally anyway. It was relieving when Nioniel said she would take care of cleaning up the mess so I could focus on more important things.

I got Londuil fed, clean, and changed before I went into the greenhouse to do some calming gardening. I was frustrated when the paranoia struck me hard this time around. It had stopped recently, and I had thought it was gone for good. The movements in the corner of my eye were constant. I wanted to scream. Then I stood up and my heart skipped a beat.

Mr. Zeiss was standing right on the other side of the hedge. He looked just as scared to see me staring at him as I was to see him. I thought for sure that he was going to run away, but my eyes didn't break away from his. He reluctantly came to talk to me. I demanded to know what he was doing. He said he was worried about me because of the fire, and just wanted to come a check on me to make sure I was doing fine. I told him I appreciated the concern, but he should've called or visited normally. Mr. Zeiss said he hadn't wanted to be a bother. I bit my tongue. I wanted to ask him if he thought creeping around our yard wasn't bothersome. He apologized before quickly leaving.

I went back to gardening, but my mind was in motion. If Mr. Zeiss was the source of the movements this time, then it was possible he had been the source all along. Could he really have been watching me this closely all along, even before we meet officially? I didn't want to believe it. It made sense though. It explains why I felt so uncomfortable around him when he approached me. I'll have to confront him directly about it.

I took a long, relaxing bath afterwards to calm my mind and relieve my aching back. I was playing when Londuil when Nioniel came into the room. The burnt tables and chair had been discarded, and the kitchen was cleaned to the best of her ability. It was time for her to leave for her new place now. I escorted Nioniel downstairs before hugging her for a long time. I helped her carry her things to the taxi as much as I could. While I watched that taxi take her away, I stayed positive by reminding myself that she was only a ten minute walk away.

I've tried contacting Mr. Zeiss many times. He's avoiding me now. I guess that's to be expected. I knew I would have to forget about him for a little while when I went into labor. I had to spend a lot of time convincing Eiji that everything would be fine having the child here instead of the hospital. He was very hard to comfort. Eiji did have to help a bit when we saw that the baby was turned slightly in the wrong direction.