tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12523205859023339222024-03-19T07:21:21.196-04:00Random!KelseyiKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.comBlogger614125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-5057011141543753712022-07-06T22:02:00.002-04:002022-07-06T22:02:37.689-04:00Where We're At Now<p style="text-align: justify;"> Good 2022 everyone!</p><p style="text-align: justify;">I know it's been a while, and so I know there likely won't be too many people seeing this. Surprising as it may be, I haven't completely fallen off the wagon with movement for the blog. I could go into the long of it, but the main reason for CMW's hiatus is the same reason it started: <a href="https://tapas.io/series/Kingdom-of-Sun/info" target="_blank">Kingdom of Sun</a>. I spent the vast majority of last year working with the hosting site to get it ready to go Premium, which basically meant rewriting a large portion of the second draft. Then came the matter of keeping up with it ever since it did go live. That entails me writing at least four chapters a week and making sure those chapters are as polished coming out since there's little chance for heavy edits or going back and reworking entire portions of the story like I could before.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Naturally, I'm not the most eager to do even more writing once I get through my normal work day, writing and editing for that, and doing what I need to maintain the rest of my life. I do have a couple chapters done for Nutmeg's generation, which are the few final bits of her teenage years. The reason I haven't released them is because they leave a much different taste in the mouth than the more positive end the story is currently stuck on. I've also done some work on her adult years and even another short story, but consistent crashes kept making them a chore.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">So, what'll be happening going forward?</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Like I mentioned in the last post, there continues to be an issue with Blogger picking up malware from somewhere. It seems to have absolutely nothing to do with any actions of mine or leak from my end. I'm going to go ahead with my plan then and switch over to WordPress. This blog will remain up, but it won't host any content aside from the eventual notices giving more information about the switch. What I'll do with the new blog is sort of...start over. It'll only host CMW, and I'll transfer over the story starting with Ethereal's generation. I won't be doing everything from scratch, but I'll tighten up the writing and give the old content a slight refresh. It'll require much less effort from me, and, hopefully, it'll put me into a groove that will allow a continuation of Nutmeg's story to see it through to its proper conclusion.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">I'm still figuring out what I want to do after that. I have a feeling the aging of TS3 is going to be the main problem with CMW's continuation, and TS4 simply doesn't offer the ability to do the story the way I envisioned it. So, I just don't know. I have another project related to CMW that I'm super excited about though. A 'what-if' version of things, basically. There should at least be that.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">I'll post a link to the new blog when it's ready. Hope you look forward to it, and thank you as always!</p><p style="text-align: justify;">~Kelsey</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p>iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-13590873782734271882021-05-15T00:04:00.001-04:002021-05-15T00:04:37.506-04:00Malware and Potential Blog Move<p style="text-align: justify;">Hello, everyone. Just coming by with some more news. I've been doing my best to work on the remaining CMW Gen Four chapters when I've got the time. I've been feeling pretty good about it, but then I found something unfortunate in my email today. I received a message from Blogger stating the most recent short story had been deleted due to violating their guidelines. Condensed version: it appears some internet malware snuck its way onto the post, which got it flagged as dangerous by Google, prompting Blogger to get rid of the whole thing under their "Malware and Viruses" clause. It is incredibly frustrating as there was no chance to be told of the issue or at least have the post simply unpublished, and it's even more frustrating since the matter was nothing I caused. There doesn't appear a way at this time to retrieve the short story. While I've done everything I can from my end to make sure there's nothing bad coming from my computer, the incident does leave me concerned as there's little I can do should something like this happen again or, even worse, should the whole blog get deleted for repeated "violations". Every search I did for preventing/resolving issues like this only led me to information about WordPress, even if I specifically typed for Blogger/Blogspot help. I'd kinda already been contemplating moving my content to WordPress, and this has really put me in the mindset that I should. I wanted to stick around here due to its nostalgia, yet there's also a lot of changes made to the interface that have put me off the place in the past year or so. While I don't think I'll be jumping ship immediately, just keep an eye out for updates I suppose. Also, if pages do give you warnings, let me know, and if the blog suddenly disappears, hopefully you'll have seen this beforehand. I'll try to name the new blog the same if possible if something that extreme happens, so search it out under that. I did back-up a copy of the blog's contents too to ensure I can access it later.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Hope you all are having more pleasant days ๐</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">~Kelsey</p>iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-13768060452492098712021-03-04T14:20:00.002-05:002021-06-01T02:58:40.638-04:00Color My World Short Story #12<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid05n6O52ldJLdpl9vJ90J876Zg07cSv72RkCE8G1NgErAWTd7fOZwqqteVXUj_YizkOOjpY5M2SWwaCMazksAA-hrCfVUB3qMS1DZF_KXMHXXonB2mYYS13nVlh-DW0WLAdeOExJ5kndx/s1600/01.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1360" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid05n6O52ldJLdpl9vJ90J876Zg07cSv72RkCE8G1NgErAWTd7fOZwqqteVXUj_YizkOOjpY5M2SWwaCMazksAA-hrCfVUB3qMS1DZF_KXMHXXonB2mYYS13nVlh-DW0WLAdeOExJ5kndx/w640-h362/01.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">I raised my head as I heard the familiar clack of polished shoes on wood. Like so many times before, my mind immediately went to the days of my childhood where I snatched Dad's shoes and danced my heart out trying to perform some tap. Those attempts ended when humiliation replaced cheerfulness. One of those shoes that had been far too big finally rocketed off my tiny toes and smashed Mom's nose. She laughed it off and complained more to Dad about why he felt the need to have footwear with such hard soles, but my tap dancing days were done.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"> <span> </span>"Hey, Crys. Feeling any better?" Dad asked as he rounded the corner. He was already hovering over me with a sympathetic smile before I could answer.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"> <span> </span>"Yeah. This new medicine is working a lot better than the other ones have. I'm still feeling a bit weak and unsteady though. Kinda cold too. Part of me wants to turn the fireplace on, but it's summer. That seems like it's a bit much," I smiled.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span> "I can help you if you don't mind some cuddles."</span><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span> "How could I ever turn down cuddles? Just as long as you don't mind getting your clothes wrinkled."</span><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span><span> "Bah, what's a few creases?"</span><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><br /></span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span><span>I scooted over for Dad to settle down next to me. The couch was a lot less manageable than it used to be when my crashes happened when I was little, but Dad refused to admit this old loveseat might not contain us for much longer. He snuggled me tight, and I closed my eyes relaxing into his secure hold. Too many times I'd ended up in the hospital because of my anemia. Him and Mom making sure to always be there with a warm hug was a gift I would never forget.</span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span><span></span></span></p><a name='more'></a><span><br /></span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPKyRJ9JlK9Gk1agesT2s0WHfUipGkEXnC3bDPq0J-n15KA75bENiXk_uovUNihyieiIEd1xEfSwYN2ORRGLPi64zT4YHaaR7mFq27hRCiRiy6XXQGidhyphenhyphenbKXR7cRot0WNmTVE5njOlfWx/s1600/02.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1360" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPKyRJ9JlK9Gk1agesT2s0WHfUipGkEXnC3bDPq0J-n15KA75bENiXk_uovUNihyieiIEd1xEfSwYN2ORRGLPi64zT4YHaaR7mFq27hRCiRiy6XXQGidhyphenhyphenbKXR7cRot0WNmTVE5njOlfWx/w640-h362/02.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div style="text-align: justify;">I dozed off for a little bit. Dad normally wouldn't dare move, but with his impending promotion to CEO at work he couldn't help but to have more responsibilities. Part of me had been horribly selfish enough to almost ask if he had to take the position. Meetings and business trips had jutted into more than their fair share of important dates and crucial life events. Our small family was overwhelmingly rich enough as it was from generations of inheritance of both pure wealth and advantageous careers. No way did Dad <i>need</i> to take the promotion. It was his life's goal though, so I'd gotten a grip of myself and kept my mouth shut. Besides, I'd be starting college in the fall. Why beg for Dad to stay around when I'd be gone myself?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span> "Really, you two?" I rolled my eyes at my parents after Dad departed the couch to get a snack. I had followed a few minutes later to get a cup of water to take my next pill, and there the two were all snuggled on a stool. "I haven't flown the coop just yet, you know."</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span> "Your dad just has to make sure I get my fair share of cuddles too," Mom teased.</span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span> "I only have a few minutes before I have to go upstairs and resume the conference call. I'd lose valuable time sneaking us away," Dad added matter-of-factly.</span><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span> "Sure, sure," I scoffed, amused. I use their preoccupation with one another to sneak an extra blue raspberry candy from our shared stash. That was all our favorite flavor, so I was really breaking a rule there. It was fine though. I'd broken down and ordered a five pound bag of just that flavor from the manufacturer to finally give us a supply to last more than a few days.</span><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI12bq5ZxKtZ_bNCG2AVyUjxJTfbi8uYlDkEJRafwUno3H0M8e9ynPuQjg08w1tvLxD3H1jmUuBlJSmmcd7BbX83csT9KTdnVFQeU43aNd07GhtP7GjeGjy62ORziFwLbNScCJtwkjhATf/s1600/03.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1360" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI12bq5ZxKtZ_bNCG2AVyUjxJTfbi8uYlDkEJRafwUno3H0M8e9ynPuQjg08w1tvLxD3H1jmUuBlJSmmcd7BbX83csT9KTdnVFQeU43aNd07GhtP7GjeGjy62ORziFwLbNScCJtwkjhATf/w640-h362/03.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><span>Dad gave me a kiss on the cheek before he went back upstairs. I held incredibly still so he didn't notice the offending sweet in my mouth. My blue tongue would likely give me away in the end, but there was a chance the color would fade by the time the meeting concluded and Mom finished dinner. Mom got some music going on her little radio while I switched my location to be in front of the television. There was stuff I actually wanted to watch. However, I was trying to be better and more informed. The news that I used to ignore I tended to watch for at least a little each day now.</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span> "Welcome back to TTN 5," the anchor announced. "We'll be jumping right in with the story that broke earlier this morning that has the country on its toes."</span><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span>I tilted my head. Something super big had happened that was affecting the whole country? Guess it was a good thing I hadn't gone right for my recorded series.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span> "For those viewers just joining us, early this morning information was leaked by an anonymous whistleblower of widespread corruption plaguing the nation. In a situation one would only hope to find in a story, we bring you these details."</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span>Instantly pulled in, I intently listened to the recap of what had clearly been building all day. It seriously was a level of corruption one would only think to hear a conspiracy theorist declare. Unfortunately, the more I listened the more my heart picked up. Government officials from local to federal were accused of the worst crimes. Businesses of all types were no better off.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ1F2sv3yuqPa5DY9XqJanV3wppWiCDQEcHW2iZSR1rIjBsx5PbW2btvEHiV8ww3_qcwoL5662OU7xdFR_nOOQtKki4kqSQOjuUtPugOjWp2KGcTlaJnhZ9GnM8ZkJ4_pRmq-UG7OzjzYV/s1600/04.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1360" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ1F2sv3yuqPa5DY9XqJanV3wppWiCDQEcHW2iZSR1rIjBsx5PbW2btvEHiV8ww3_qcwoL5662OU7xdFR_nOOQtKki4kqSQOjuUtPugOjWp2KGcTlaJnhZ9GnM8ZkJ4_pRmq-UG7OzjzYV/w640-h362/04.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />The anchor listed off various grievances ranging from fraud to bribery to well-hidden assassinations yet didn't waste time getting to the hot topic of the story.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "Set to go live soon from the east coast, TTN 5 will be sharing an interview with a key figure of this situation, Eden Yonder. A previous employee of Spreading Roots, Mr. Yonder has been influential in bringing to light what we have been shown today. He has gone on record to state that he is separate from the main whistleblower. Mr. Yonder will talk of his involvement in regards to his main motivation to stand fast against the predicament he found himself in: his younger sister, Ethereal. Ethereal, born with albinism, is a victim of genetic manipulation and general abuse from the powers that created her."</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "Huh," I mumbled. I mean, I was captured by this broadcast enough, but hearing of this Ethereal lured me in even further for obvious reasons.</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "The interview is expected to touch on topics that some viewers may find disturbing. We here at TTN 5 are committed to providing the truth and ask that viewers proceed with their own discretion."</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilkaHsvFreveCdVFMhVjucYnNSioUr24j2FpF8MmtPag72n6pq5yOYGKuumxTsrkmIq0K3EkzI3mQ8W9qFL_pSokl2tO3ADy-ibGqpKpWBfFPwuAM7FL8t8QygJwjOxStd81GD8OuaIbA8/s1600/05.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1360" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilkaHsvFreveCdVFMhVjucYnNSioUr24j2FpF8MmtPag72n6pq5yOYGKuumxTsrkmIq0K3EkzI3mQ8W9qFL_pSokl2tO3ADy-ibGqpKpWBfFPwuAM7FL8t8QygJwjOxStd81GD8OuaIbA8/w640-h362/05.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><span>I saw no reason to click away. Mom walked by me to go upstairs in the interim where the news station waited for the interview on the other side of the country to begin. While I tried to focus her attention towards what was going on, she insisted she continue on her way. She was not one to care for the news. That was why I had grown up mostly not caring either. One of the perks of being too rich, I guess. What went on with everyone else really never ended up affecting us. Did I listen closely though when that Eden Yonder began his interview. I heard his tale of how a section of Spreading Roots called T.R.E.E. lured him into the job under false pretenses where he was put into a role looking after infants coming about through illegal genetic modification. His half-sister Ethereal was one of those babies, and she was chosen to be used as an eventual human incubator to have babies for T.R.E.E. to sell. When Eden talked about the most recent event where Ethereal had been kidnapped, forcibly impregnated, and had been at risk for being prostituted against her will to earn even more profits, I definitely understood why the anchor had given his warning. My thoughts centered around how sorry I felt for her until the interviewer asked a very specific question.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "But those other children born are still out there, correct?"</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "Yes, very much so," Eden answered grimly. "I touched on it a bit, but aside from one boy who passed the rest were illegally sold."</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "And the adopters were aware of what was going and on and where the children were coming from?"</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "To an extent, yes. T.R.E.E. would naturally not divulge the full details of the operation to every curious party, but the potential parents were made well aware that the children had been made for a purpose. It got quite nasty."</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "In what way?"</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "Ethereal, overall, was the strongest of the children. The girl born shortly before her, however, was almost chosen instead to be the one to stay. Then she was diagnosed with sickle cell anemia."</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Like me. What a coincidence.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "The others felt Ethereal's weakened immune system would be easier to manage as they naturally did not intend for her to face the rest of the world. I remember that other girl well. She was so sweet. She had a birthmark on her left shoulder shaped like a boomerang."</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>...Wait.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "With her being one of the healthiest, although that's not necessarily the most accurate term to use, she was fought over quite intensely by the potential adopters. The ones who ended up taking her home had used their wealth and connections to scare off the other contenders by way of threats and stalking by hired hitmen."</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "My goodness. Now certainly these people will not be let off the hook for their involvement?"</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "There should be those dealing with the matter, although I do not have the liberty or even the knowledge to expand on that further. All the more I can say is that those other children are victims as much as Ethereal is. They were born suffering to fulfill a vain desire, and I am aware there is a good chance several of them are watching this broadcast right now and finding their life has been full of lies. The last thing I want is for them to be hurt even more, and I hope they know I am truly sorry."</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI5SZkx_FyfR6wmnBgpEkT1rTr6UjrxwZx2hqBC6r2FvHdA7E-reqpxzSlvEp_VRhipmJcAULdvsVtikMoSJjKx1HCM6xijuqUracCx749h8vq4E0alExK7R9IBkUef_dXsUhi7biYCWw2/s1600/06.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1360" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI5SZkx_FyfR6wmnBgpEkT1rTr6UjrxwZx2hqBC6r2FvHdA7E-reqpxzSlvEp_VRhipmJcAULdvsVtikMoSJjKx1HCM6xijuqUracCx749h8vq4E0alExK7R9IBkUef_dXsUhi7biYCWw2/w640-h362/06.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><span>I shook. My veins had already felt lacking of their lifeforce, and now they ran completely empty. Eden and the interviewer continued their conversation talking about other disabilities the other children faced. My ears, though ringing, hung onto every word desperate for them to say something more about that little girl born with sickle cell anemia and a boomerang-shaped birthmark that could contradict with who I was. It could just be a coincidence, no matter how much I knew it was not. Maybe if my parents hadn't told me I was adopted I could delude myself. If only I didn't know I wasn't theirs by blood...</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "Mom!" I jumped to my feet when she returned downstairs.</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "Crystal, what is it? You should be careful and try not to get too worked up right now. You already collapsed once today."</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "Tell me they're wrong!" I demanded, pointing at the television. "Give me proof <i>right now</i> that I'm not part of what is going on!"<br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> "W-What <i>is</i> going on? Sweetie, I don't know</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span> "Someone leaked a bunch of corruption, including a program that bred albino children with genetic tampering just so shallow people could buy them like pedigree poodles!"</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span>Mom went entirely rigid. Recognition and fear of my words flashed across her expression with such strength that I wondered how I'd lived nineteen years believing her at all.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span> "I don't know anything about that. You're not</span></span><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>" Mom stammered.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> "That guy said there was a girl born shortly before his sister! Ethereal is about to be nineteen, while <i>I</i> just turned nineteen! The girl was also born with sickle cell anemia, and she has a birthmark identical to mine! You've never given me one good explanation as to who my birth parents are or how you adopted me!"<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span> "It's a coincidence."</span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span> "LIAR!"</span><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span> "Crystal, Summer, what is going on?" Dad came rushing down the stairs.</span><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyyjrKD288VvLtR5U-WImGFIxJDl9i151-RpnCwF4lwlknC8b0SKBcgHRsehG8bR1nPdDWpQIl0jFmvh_W0qDwAwBmXMcgOdPi9RtKKrLLMtgJy7z70Rns9A0ebwV5lad4q8IoFwKiNx1u/s1600/07.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1360" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyyjrKD288VvLtR5U-WImGFIxJDl9i151-RpnCwF4lwlknC8b0SKBcgHRsehG8bR1nPdDWpQIl0jFmvh_W0qDwAwBmXMcgOdPi9RtKKrLLMtgJy7z70Rns9A0ebwV5lad4q8IoFwKiNx1u/w640-h362/07.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />With an agonized sob, I turned on my heel and stomped towards the front door. I did not blame this Eden, but <i>god</i> if he definitely wasn't the catalyst for my world crashing down around me! My parents who I'd just been cuddling and joking around with now stood before me as complete strangers.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span> "Crystal, where are you going?" Dad questioned, panicked.</span><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span> "Away from you two!"</span><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span> "Why? Did we do something? What's wr</span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span> "You're disgusting hypocrites! You're shallow and vain and cruel! All those times while I was growing up when supposed friends turned out to be fake, when I had to break up with my boyfriend of two years because he and they only cared about me being albino</span><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> you held me tight and dried my tears! You spoke of how wrong it was for people to treat me like that, that I was so much more than my appearance! You told me how much you loved me even though you...you...you BOUGHT me! You purchased me like a trophy to put on your shelf for all to see!"</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span> "I..." Dad went pale.</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span> "Crystal, please," Mom pleaded, trying to remain composed with a deep breath.</span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span> "NO! You can't calm me, and you can't trick me! You can't excuse <i>that</i> away!" I jammed my finger once more towards the television. "They're exposing it all right as we speak! You threatened others! You hired <i>hitmen</i>! All so you could be the victors to bring me home!"<br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span> "We care about you so much, Crys. That's not</span></span><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>" Dad tried.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> "No you don't! You would have <i>never</i> taken me in if I wasn't white! You went out of your way, ignoring all the other children out there who needed a caring home, to get some designer baby basically made in a factory! If I wasn't albino, you would have turned your noses up at me and walked away the instant you learned I was sick!"<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">My head spinning, I knew I had to get away. Mom had spoken one truth though. My ill body wasn't set to cope with the fit I'd worked myself into. Stumbling feet slammed me into the front door as I fumbled to turn the handle and bolt.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span> "You're going to pass out again, honey! Just please wait!" Dad begged.</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ4eGmv-PC005bVNT1L_4Ent9fG-otIuHyXm6oY74NCp3ftkKWFjBnbWGRPZ9t3vu9d6uhipxFghtrl3hY00eV44DHi0QiI1HMHEVfWYpEo1moYMJIa5WH4cQnAI6kI1tseqvncIV0WWcn/s1600/08.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1360" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ4eGmv-PC005bVNT1L_4Ent9fG-otIuHyXm6oY74NCp3ftkKWFjBnbWGRPZ9t3vu9d6uhipxFghtrl3hY00eV44DHi0QiI1HMHEVfWYpEo1moYMJIa5WH4cQnAI6kI1tseqvncIV0WWcn/w640-h362/08.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><span>Sweetie. Honey. Crys. How dare they keep using such terms of endearment as if it would sway me back to their side? A deep inhale focused my vision enough to get me out the front door.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span> "Froth, go after her!" Mom worriedly pushed him onwards.</span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span>He managed to only make it out the door. His feet stopped where mine didn't as two important looking government officials stepped out of the sleek car now parked alongside the road outside our house. It was no question as to why they were here.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span> "Crystal? Crystal Chime?!" the one called after me.</span><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span>I pushed myself faster. In the end, I didn't get far. My legs only supported me until the bottom of the hill where I collapsed hard and majorly scraped up my shins. My flight of emotion definitively failed when the one man pulled alongside me in that car. He carefully helped me into the front seat where upon our return to the house I quietly watched as Mom and Dad were guided into the back seat of a police cruiser that had also shown up. They pressed against the window desperately pleading for my attention as our car kept driving on. Towards the hospital, the man said, and after that...towards the rest of what awaited me in this crumbled life broken free of lies.</span></span></span></div><p></p>iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-66330741981762829592021-03-04T14:20:00.000-05:002021-03-04T14:20:27.729-05:00Happy Birthday and Some Updates!<p style="text-align: justify;">Once again, it's been a while! I thought I'd taking this opportunity on the prodding date of my birthday to keep blog-only followers in the loop. It's been quiet here, but rather busy on Tapas! The new story I began there, "Kingdom of Sun", had constant updates and found itself doing well. It often trended and was featured on the website's front page. Then I decided to submit the story to staff. What had been a hope that I thought might come true way off in the future happened much sooner than expected as "Kingdom of Sun" was accepted into their Premium Program! I am now working with staff to make it better for a relaunch where readers will use ink, the Tapas currency gotten through either payment or watching ads/playing games, to unlock chapters. It's my first big step to making a career out of writing, and it naturally requires most of my effort. I have struggled to find time for "Color My World", which I do wish to continue although I know it has been a long time now since the last main update. My idea right now is to slowly work on it when I have the chance and begin posting again once the rest of Gen Four is completely done. That way I don't have to worry about constantly starting and stopping. I thank you for your immense patience! As a treat, I have another short story prepared for you today featuring a previously unmentioned character, Crystal. I hope you enjoy!</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">~Kelsey</p>iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-19814483458678263182020-09-10T12:18:00.002-04:002020-09-10T12:18:33.762-04:00New Series on Tapas!<p style="text-align: justify;"> Hello, everyone!</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">It's been quiet for a while, but I've been hard at work these past few months. That's due to my work on the new story I've prepared to host on Tapas, Kingdom of Sun. I've been writing it for over a year and a half now, and it's finally ready to go live. If you enjoy fantasy or reincarnation stories, please give it a go. It would mean the world to have you give it a look over and possibly a subscription. My hope is to one day have it be chosen for a premium story on Tapas. That would allow me to get paid for it and even more hopefully switch to writing as my full-time career. Such would likely lead to me having more time to work on CMW! Now that Kingdom of Sun is being released, it is my goal to shift more of my attention back this way and resume updates here as soon as possible. Thank you as always for your support.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://tapas.io/series/Kingdom-of-Sun/info">Check out the story here</a>!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCArsSKO9ARU72ZkFMNe9SE3fkXUBYi02E7ev7QbBQtH3HS8v5cJ7JmnHr0ebJfan-jKnTvDA2bwhOH_HJjrZFBeCqQmYlQw8UIj3Yjyts1UthFf_9u3Q6akw-tEx2JB1MblBeNwK3hDbK/s2048/credits.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="625" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCArsSKO9ARU72ZkFMNe9SE3fkXUBYi02E7ev7QbBQtH3HS8v5cJ7JmnHr0ebJfan-jKnTvDA2bwhOH_HJjrZFBeCqQmYlQw8UIj3Yjyts1UthFf_9u3Q6akw-tEx2JB1MblBeNwK3hDbK/w416-h625/credits.png" width="416" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/line.artsy/">Cover art by Line</a></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p>iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-68449420418274512782020-05-22T20:55:00.000-04:002020-05-22T20:55:17.344-04:00Apologies - Update<div style="text-align: justify;">Hey all! Sorry for the sudden absence and quiet. Everything has been fine with me and nothing is wrong. A big cause of the silence was my work reopening, which brought on a schedule change and adjustment period. I hope I didn't cause too much worry. A quick update about that wouldn't have been difficult to write, but I took some extra time to let myself step back and just prompt out the reality that I've been working against for most of the generation. I'm really starting to hit a motivation shortage after so many years of this project now. Have no fear that I'm canceling it. Generation Four will be completed, and I'm planning on doing Generation Five. I love and am excited for those two stories and everything beyond. The problem lies with the process getting the story from my head. The Sims 3 will always hold a special place in my heart, yet using it as a backdrop for my creation process now tires me. I'm tired of the same animations, the same poses, the slowness, the glitches, the problems like this I encountered taking pictures for the last chapter:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN81fcVZK1HXtSOmvrXL8CDl0_YYtfGuxA4VoR_7JYl3Gk0lnlLzwyjAlCPbFAYIZiMtv6hSbpnVC3HiBVa3wdI8w0FVMnD79ExvN1h92XWGA-XqEIR-nglApaVr9vjc690OZzhjvDZ_PQ/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1360" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN81fcVZK1HXtSOmvrXL8CDl0_YYtfGuxA4VoR_7JYl3Gk0lnlLzwyjAlCPbFAYIZiMtv6hSbpnVC3HiBVa3wdI8w0FVMnD79ExvN1h92XWGA-XqEIR-nglApaVr9vjc690OZzhjvDZ_PQ/w640-h362/31.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnF1T9Uj2GV3UgOfBfzuxbaH-HNGX4VGZkAiIXWoCwFNo4Sutt90tX-6VGv4kLrF4dcbUayvvgB_xwfp4DIvCwfBJACigr0L2wNJFHUjhcy4CJINj06XAW47qT4F25YdCNqP-s9cG6uT1L/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1360" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnF1T9Uj2GV3UgOfBfzuxbaH-HNGX4VGZkAiIXWoCwFNo4Sutt90tX-6VGv4kLrF4dcbUayvvgB_xwfp4DIvCwfBJACigr0L2wNJFHUjhcy4CJINj06XAW47qT4F25YdCNqP-s9cG6uT1L/w640-h362/32.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I consider The Sims 4 an okay game. I open it to play it for general fun far more than I've opened TS3 for actual game play in years. I wish I could say switching over would give me the needed refresh, that solution takes away many of the necessary mechanics needed for the planned plots of numerous generations. There's no real solution I can think of, which has me at an impasse that leaves me just not wanting to do anything.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So that's where I am at the moment. I am a little done, but at the same time I'm not done enough to get close to calling this project to a premature end. What I do think will help is pulling back some of the pressure of responsibility. You've all been wonderful whenever there's a delayed or missed chapter, and I don't want to do you a disservice by not being upfront about the thoughts in my head. For now, I'm going to release the story from a schedule. I won't promise a certain number of chapters or having a post on a certain day. However, I feel that allowing myself to work more at leisure should lessen the reluctance I feel towards even opening TS3.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Thank you as always for your understanding, and I hope to see you with something new soon!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">~Kelsey</div>iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-13831532373252350852020-04-27T19:52:00.001-04:002020-05-22T21:20:00.242-04:00Gen Four- Chapter Twenty Five<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">NSFW Material</span></div>
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I almost forgot why I had come after a time. Pieter and I rested until our beating hearts calmed and the worry of discovery temporarily slipped behind the peace of nature. The sun glittered warm, yet the wind danced cool. Pieter provided an excellent cushion while the birds called for one another in a lullaby for me. This was the scenery of my youth. How I'd missed it, and how oppressive the harshness of the city now felt. The cringe in my body at returning was why I didn't protest when Pieter eventually guided us up.</div>
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"Feel any more strongly about a decision?" he wondered.</div>
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"I'm pretty split both ways..."</div>
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"Well, if we're almost an hour out, why don't we get a little closer? That should help with your decision."</div>
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"Sounds good," I agreed.</div>
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Pieter dusted himself off, I picked grass from off his back, and he turned to where our path continued.</div>
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"A lazy hotdog, huh?" he laughed.</div>
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"Yeah," I grinned. "The sides dip like they're trying to hold something in, but they flatten halfway giving up."</div>
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"I see it."</div>
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He chuckled to himself, and his grin grew so massive he had to be thinking his own silly thoughts. When Pieter shifted towards me, however, his expression was nothing but serious.</div>
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"So, before we keep going I want to ask you some stuff first."</div>
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"Okay. Like?"</div>
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"Since there's a risk for discovery, you, who knows this area and situation best, should tell me what we're getting into. What do you really think we'll find?"</div>
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"I don't think we'll find The Company. How would they claim this area back after being rooted out so thoroughly? There's two much more likely options. The government kept this place, and they kept it well. They're either monitoring or using the Scarlet Dawn office. The house has found a purpose too. The second is that they bother with this place enough to keep The Company away and maintain the buildings, but they don't have a large force nearby. I can't say which is more likely to be reality between the two though. I also doubt the office and house are completely abandoned."</div>
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"Based on what you've told me before, that all is what my thoughts were going to. Tell me this then...if we do get caught, what are the consequences?"</div>
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"It's not that I've seen a 'No Trespassing' sign or fence, but people clearly aren't supposed to be here. There'd be consequences for that, but...once they find out who I am I think it'd matter very little. I'd be questioned, you'd be questioned, you'd...probably be returned home without much issue, and I..." I paused for a long moment. "I guess I'd finally figure out what the deal is with the rest of my family."</div>
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Pieter's stare grew sympathetic.</div>
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"What the deal is? Like, if they'd want you or not?"</div>
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"Yeah. At this point, my knowledge of The Company is outdated. It'd be too risky with no reward for them to snatch me back once I show myself. The government shouldn't hide me away, and, well, I'd hope they wouldn't fault me for anything that happened. They'd likely try to send me to someone in my mom's family..."</div>
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"You've always made it seem like they wouldn't want you," Pieter pointed out, but he caught my hesitation.</div>
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"The truth is I can't say anything either way!" I finally admitted, even to myself, in an exasperated huff. "Mom had a big family. I have a great-grandfather, if he's still alive. My mom's parents. A bunch of great-aunts and great-uncles. Cousins as far as the eye can see. There's...even the guy Mom actually loved. Arbor or something, I believe his name is. It's hard to make the claim they'll <i>all</i> deny me even if I'm the daughter of the man who raped and killed Mom, among everything else he and Grandpa did, yet..."</div>
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"There's still the chance they could all deny you because you're the daughter of the man who raped and killed your mom, among everything else he and your grandpa did," Pieter nodded along knowingly.</div>
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"I'd end up in an actual foster home then, I suppose."</div>
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Pieter did the opposite of what I expected again by smiling once more.</div>
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"I don't see a bad option here. You either end up in a loving home where you get the relief of casting off the lies you hate, or you end up in a foster home where you can just run away and come back here to continue as if nothing changed."</div>
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"You'd be okay with me going off and living far away? Not that I actually know where Berrybrook is."</div>
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Pieter took my hands.</div>
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"Oh, we'd work it out. I wouldn't let you moving break our relationship. Heck, I doubt Dad even really cares if we keep living in Aspen Harbor. We're just here because it's where we've been. There's a strong chance I could convince him to move us to this Berrybrook."</div>
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"You'd have to live a normal life too. Go to actual school, live with your dad properly, not have all the freedom you've had. That sort of thing."</div>
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"Freedom is nice, but I've had plenty of it for now. I don't mind it continuing, but if relinquishing some of it is where today brings us then I'm fine with that."</div>
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"Pieter..."</div>
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Not knowing what else to say, I leaned forward to give him a big kiss.</div>
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Perhaps spurred by that, Pieter took the genlemanly route and offered to carry my bookbag. I let him go for it without hesitation. My feet were sore beyond belief, and my back wasn't much better. I almost asked for a piggyback, but that was ridiculous. A massive amount of walking awaited us no matter the direction we went. No point in exhausting Pieter for ten minutes of relaxation for me.</div>
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The two of us didn't end up talking much on our way. I needed to concentrate to give accurate directions, and Pieter going rather silent meant he had his own thoughts needing to be processed. This addition of my problem and the position it'd put us in didn't get rid of the burden he had dealing with his mom's actions. I nearly asked if he truly didn't want to reveal himself to her and maybe get the chance to know his brothers. However, now wasn't the time to push that stress.</div>
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Seriously, the extra grief would have sent me reeling in the end. The eternal journey coming to a close happened lighting quick for me. Forty-five minutes of walking soon became thirty-five. Thirty-five became twenty-five. Twenty-five became twenty.</div>
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"Pieter, wait." I had to call out.</div>
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"Hmm?" He turned around. "Are we going the wrong way?"</div>
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"No. I recognize more with each step. It won't be long now before we're there," I explained. With a sigh, I ran my hands through my hair and shook my head. Sometimes I wish I could shut my brain off. Pieter had us speak reality out loud. The government was either around a lot or around little. Should we get caught, I'd remain with Pieter either way. I would keep at this life as I had, which I could handle, or I'd be accepted where I could live more comfortably and securely. Why, then, could I not get my feet to move?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>
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"Nutmeg?"</div>
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"I can't do it, Pieter. Things might be alright, but...I...I don't want to take the risk."</div>
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I sighed again. Pieter slipped the bookbag onto the ground and instantly came over. I cuddled him pitifully, and he rubbed my back.</div>
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"That's fine. I'm good with whatever decision you want to make, just as long as it's really the decision you want."</div>
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"I'm too worried about things going wrong. About being taken away and it turning out I'll have no choice at all." I bit my lip and pondered. "So...there is an alternate idea coming to me now. Let's just delay this."</div>
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"Delay it?"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Uh-huh. I feel better having vented to you. I do believe in you having my back. Living like we have for a few more years won't be an issue. We can try this again when I'm eighteen. That way, even if my family does reject me, I'll be an adult and can't be forced anywhere."</div>
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"I think that's a brilliant idea. A good compromise," Pieter agreed. "Just confirm that is what you want. We can go and be caught, go and find out we're able to stay the night at your house, or we have to book it out of here before we end up spending a night in the wilderness with meager supplies and who knows what animals around."</div>
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"I'm sure," I confirmed.</div>
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"Alright. Then, the shortest way to the place I was dropped off," Pieter searched the area, "is this way."</div>
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"How are you sure?" I asked uncertainly.</div>
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"Like I said, it's that pull. I'm just sure," Pieter stated with such confidence I couldn't argue.</div>
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He ended up being right too. I did <i>not</i> want to spend another night outside, and I most certainly did not want to put another protein bar in my mouth. Thus, I dutifully trusted Pieter in taking us on what seemed a pretty random and unremarkable path. We walked, walked, and walked until the sun slid halfway down the sky. Thankfully, that was the point where we reached the main public space of the actual nature park Pieter originally left from. He called a dial-a-ride with his phone. However, due to the suspicious nature of the driver and curfew more than being passed by the time we arrived in Aspen Harbor there was no chance of getting to the warehouse. The two of us were dropped off at Pieter's house instead.<br />
<br />
"Here we are, my lady." Pieter joked hard escorting me in. My feet refused to support me with anything less than a million pinpricks of pain, so I'd stumbled getting out of the car.<br />
"Shut up," I chuckled.<br />
"Well," Mr. Clay, who sat there watching television, raised a brow, "the both of you have been particularly troublesome of late, but it's good to see things have likely been sorted. Glad to have you safe, Cinnamon. Pieter was in a right state before bursting in here desperately trying to find you."<br />
"Dad," Pieter rebuked.<br />
"Don't worry. It just makes you more charming," I teased, placing a hand on his shoulder.<br />
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Pieter shrugged and released us, depositing my bag in the corner before motioning me upstairs.<br />
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"It's been an exhausting day, and I'm sure you're going to say it's past our bedtimes. Cinnamon and I are going to go upstairs now," Pieter told his dad.<br />
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Neither of us expected resistance. He'd never given any...until now.<br />
<br />
"No, you two will not." He stood, folding his arms. "You want me to start being your dad properly again, so I'm putting my foot down here. Pieter, you can stay in your room. Cinnamon can have mine. I'll sleep down here. The two of you, however, will not be sharing a room anymore, much less a bed."<br />
"Wha<span style="font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>" Pieter sputtered. "You can't do that!"<br />
"I most certainly can."<br />
"This is a terrible time for you to be parent-y!"<br />
"What? Were you actually planning on us doing something?" I wondered, laughing through my surprise.<br />
"You were being <i>very</i> forward earlier!"<br />
"True."<br />
"Exactly why you two will not be sharing my room. You both might feel you're ready, but you're <i>fifteen</i>. That's not even close," Mr. Clay stood his ground harder.<br />
"C'mon!" Pieter whined.<br />
"Sorry." I moved to plant a quick peck on his cheek. "Rules are rules, and I'm too tired anyway. See you in the morning!"<br />
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Pieter kept up his attitude as I snatched some food from the fridge before claiming Mr. Clay's bedroom. He and his dad pressed the conversation for some time, but the voices I could hear never got truly angry or upset. It was just normal bickering over a teenage son being denied. What kept me laughing was I could hear in Pieter's voice how he enjoyed it. He didn't like being kept away from me, yet this was what he wanted from Mr. Clay. Normal.<br />
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I ate my food, took a shower, and relaxed my feet. The mad walk, long car ride, and distractions here so far kept me from pondering the very decision that had me sitting on this bed. Downstairs quieted, my eyes drooped, and I stared out the windows waiting for regret to hit. Thankfully, it didn't. I'd gotten enough of what I wanted. A few more years to discover the answers to my questions wouldn't hurt.<br />
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I slept deeply, and I nearly cried at the grand breakfast Mr. Clay woke up early to provide. Then Mr. Clay almost cried himself when Pieter talked more openly about his idea to stay in an apartment once we became adults, but also how I was persuading him into living here. I'd rarely seen a man so happy. Pieter grew sheepish and embarrassed too seeing his father overjoyed. It almost made him slip up and explain what had been going on when Mr. Clay asked about why I took off. Mr. Clay blessedly didn't pressed when I elbowed Pieter and we both clammed up.<br />
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Mr. Clay made sure Pieter and I were well on our way to the warehouse before he left for work. I couldn't fault him his suspicions, for I knew Pieter had searched for any condoms his dad might have. Not that they'd be usable. I couldn't imagine Mr. Clay having been with anyone since his wife left given his previous apathetic state, and condoms that old would be useless. Seeing Pieter frown, I let him mope while I smiled nonchalantly requesting to stop by a convenience store on the way back.<br />
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"Alright, does anyone else feel like running away?" Jessamine said not long after our big return.<br />
"Technically, neither of us were running away," I pointed out as Fennel constricted my abdomen. "We were both doing important things, and that required us to leave for a time."<br />
"I still don't like the way you went about it."<br />
"Aren't any of us allowed to leave whenever we want?"<br />
"Don't leave!" Fennel bound me tighter, and Larkspur's expression dropped heavily.<br />
"I'm not. We're not. I was just teasing. Sorry," I apologized.<br />
"Not the best bit of teasing right now when we've been worried," Cinnamon said.<br />
"I really am sorry," I dipped my head low.<br />
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I received a bit of scolding from Jessamine, but the rest of any further complaints came from Fennel. She would have rattled off for hours had Tulip not interrupted to remind her they all had jobs to do. Pieter and I were succinctly put in charge of watching the place. Ruby was supposed to do it, but her period was putting her in a state again. She slept conked out by pain medication in the one room. Tulip took Fennel, Jessamine left with Larkspur, and I caught a moment with Cinnamon before she left.<br />
<br />
"I seriously am sorry for making you worry," I went for it again.<br />
"Ah, it's okay." Cinnamon waved her hand and smiled. "Two days is hardly anything compared to Pieter's crazy month. I just have to wonder, what were you doing?"<br />
"I can't really say..."<br />
"Must be something to do with your family then. That's the only thing you're ever so tight-lipped about."<br />
<br />
And at that, I did tightly close my lips. No way of getting out of that one. I either admitted she was right, or I tried to deny it where my lie would be obvious enough for even a blind person to see.<br />
<br />
"I want to ask you something, Cinny," I changed the topic.<br />
"Sure. Go ahead."<br />
"Would you be mad if I told you my n<span style="font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
"Your 'n'?"<br />
"I'm...not..."<br />
"Hmm?"<br />
"Gah, I thought I might be able to say it, but I can't. Not right now, anyway. Maybe let me try again later?"<br />
"Only if you're actually going to ask then. You're asking for a lot of patience here," Cinnamon laughed.<br />
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I smiled hopelessly.<br />
<br />
"I'll ask you something else then. Do you think Pieter and I are too young to sleep together?"<br />
<br />
Such laughter burst from Cinnamon I worried that it would wake even Ruby.<br />
<br />
"You struggle asking that other thing, but you come right out with that!"<br />
"My priorities might be a little bizarre, yes."<br />
"Geez, girl. For the one who was so sheepish before, and who gave us such resistance about a sex ed class..." Cinnamon shook her head, amused. "I mean, I'm the same age as you and him. I feel we're old enough, but any adult will tell us no. Well, Tulip won't have a problem with it. Jessamine I think might actually try to persuade you otherwise. You're the one who knows best though. If you do everything with protection like what you taught, what's the problem? You and Pieter have known each other for forever now."<br />
"I wouldn't say five years is forever myself, but it's been a bit. It's also been a lot. Hmm. Yeah. Okay, thanks. That's about the answer I was looking for."<br />
"As long as I can help."<br />
<br />
Cinnamon gathered the things needed for her day, and she was about to walk out the door none the wiser. Then the obvious hit.<br />
<br />
"Hang on! You're asking me that right before I leave you two to an empty warehouse, excluding a comatose Ruby!"<br />
"Yeah, so?" I replied with a juvenile smirk.<br />
"I guess just make sure to remember to actually watch the warehouse, okay?"<br />
"Okay!"<br />
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Cinnamon departed unable to wipe her grin off or cease her laughter when going by Pieter. He stared confused and suspicious, but when he looked at me for explanation I merely shrugged. I got out of saying anything to him too by checking on Ruby. Exactly as said, she was bundled up with the heat of the electric blanket turned on to combat the cramps and her face calm and relaxed from the medication taken. My cramps were generally bearable, but there had been some similar like this where I'd done nothing but lie in bed all day hating what felt like a basketball jammed in my lower abdomen being squeezed until the verge of popping. I brushed Ruby's hair back from her face and let her be.<br />
<br />
"Ruby will be out for a while. It's worrying her periods are getting worse, but everyone has taken care of her really well. We shouldn't have to worry about checking on her until she wakes up," I explained to Pieter.<br />
"That's good. I'm so glad I'm not a girl. I honestly don't know if I could handle it."<br />
"Having periods suck, but everyone's a a little bit different. Ruby's got the short stick of it."<br />
"True. I barely ever know when the rest of you are on yours. You all just go about your day like nothing's changed."<br />
"At a certain point, days are just normal even while on them. But, I just finished mine when you got back."<br />
"Okay? Is there a reason to know that?" Pieter wondered.<br />
"Here."<br />
<br />
I slipped my hand in his.<br />
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Pieter, bless his heart, was so dense in that moment. Even after my request yesterday, even after his attempt last night, even after me hinting at how the timing was safe, even after I brought him into the large room with the double bed and locked the door...the poor boy looked at me waiting for the answer. I gave him a moment. When it still didn't hit, I went for it...and went for it hard. Pieter jolted at the intensity I planted my lips on his, and he fumbled holding me when my leg wrapped around his.<br />
<br />
"I thought we moved away from this," he snuck out when he wiggled his mouth away for air.<br />
"Where did you get that impression?" I giggled.<br />
"The whole 'rules are rules' and not trying to fight back against Dad."<br />
"I do want to respect the effort he's putting in by respecting his rules. I'd been traveling on foot for two days straight as well. Of course I'd be too tired. We're not at your dad's house now though, are we? I got a good night's sleep, good food, and me stopping at the store was to get this." I pulled out the condom in my pocket taken from the small box purchased.<br />
"I..." Pieter's face darkened deeply with a blush. He didn't pull away from our close embrace, but this was the first time I'd seen him so coy. "You're seriously...going for this?"<br />
"Seriously."<br />
"Part of me has not been expecting this to actually happen. I assumed I'd have a reason to keep rejecting it or have you reject me."<br />
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Hearing that, I loosed my grip. I'd thought the opposite. This had been filling my head all day not entertaining the possibility now that all obstacles were gone that Pieter would be on the side of saying no. I couldn't say I wasn't disappointed, but, obviously, pushing the matter wasn't an option.<br />
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"That's just me being surprised. Doesn't mean I'm rejecting this opportunity," Pieter revealed upon seeing my expression.<br />
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I beamed, and our mouths returned to one another's. We worked at it until my legs were around his waist and he held me firm.<br />
<br />
"<i>You're</i> good with this though?" he asked.<br />
"I'm good."<br />
"Honestly?"<br />
"Honestly." I pulled gently on his ear. "How many times are you going to ask?"<br />
"Probably until even after we're done. I won't believe this for a while. You seriously do have these moments like this where once you're set on something you become determined enough to feel like another person."<br />
"Grandpa says that kind of stubbornness comes from Mom," I explained. I then dropped back to the floor as this position wasn't going to last long with Pieter's arms shaking. "But enough talking. C'mon."<br />
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It was interesting how quickly and smoothly the matter proceeded at first. Pieter and I spent as much time as we could on the bed making out with clothes on, and when the point came where that felt stifling neither of us had issue stripping down to our underwear. It was only when our hands and touching truly began to explore that we each grew a little tentative. Talking the big talk was easy. Letting one another see as much as we'd each seen before was easy. Being on the cusp of going past that, however, needed more tending and time. Not that I minded us being tangled and drawn close. I soaked in each second.<br />
<br />
"Nutmeg?"<br />
<br />
In this moment, my name finally didn't feel foreign. A small exhale of gratitude escaped my lips.<br />
<br />
"Yeah?"<br />
"Are you truly not in love with me?"<br />
"I..." A lot of the heat left with that one question alone.<br />
"I'm not asking because it's hurtful or sad," Pieter rapidly comforted. "As long as you're with me, I don't care. It's just...just..." He laughed. "Especially like this, it's hard to believe you're not."<br />
"It's not something I feel can ever be explained in a way for you to understand," I smiled. "I'm not in love with you, but I love you. I love you so much. That's all there is to it."<br />
"That's enough for me." Pieter kissed the side of my head.<br />
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The tender and intimate moment pressed on for a while. More than just Pieter's touch relaxed my tension. So far, this had been everything I wanted when I asked him to be with me. It was a test of sorts for him, but for me too. To see how I deeply I could trust him, but to gather my courage and see if I could let myself trust. Despite all the breaking of my faith that'd happened in the past, despite Pieter's and mine bumps recently, this was the ultimate challenge in not blocking up my heart. I didn't want this trial now spanning the rest of our lives to fail. However, I didn't fear that it would.<br />
<br />
"What'll you do if you fall in love with someone for real one day?" Pieter whispered that when we were so close to being all the way. It was the last of his hesitations.<br />
"Why would I give up any of this, of you, for being in love? That doesn't have to be the most important thing. No one else will ever understand me like you, and I doubt you'll ever find someone who can understand you like I do. There's no replacement. Besides, I won't fall in love as long as you're around. There'd be no need for me to even think of it."<br />
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Pieter smiled satisfied at that. He drew me in until we were as close as we could be.</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-87919898913646753132020-04-20T23:37:00.001-04:002020-04-20T23:37:39.471-04:00Gen Four- Chapter Twenty Four<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The worry and regret seeped in after, for the first time since I arrived years ago, I left Aspen Harbor's limits. I went past the bridge, followed the sidewalk as far as it would go, waited until no cars were around to dodge behind trees, and eventually found myself walking in the wooded hills lining the highway. The worry mostly came from being caught though. I didn't see any property signs banning people, but I'm sure at some point I stepped onto land not meant for travel like I was doing. Away the cars zoomed in the distance. While naturally wanting to remain unseen, I'd need the guide of civilization for a bit. The highway did stretch the majority of the way to my destination. Why make the journey harder than it needed to be? Well, I probably could have taken a taxi partway, which meant me walking was making it harder, but I'd rather not leave any sort of trail. Besides, some taxi drivers were wary enough of driving a lone teenager around in the city. I'd stick out like a sore thumb asking to be driven to any drop-off point I could imagine.</div>
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In the end, there was no need for one. I finally split off on my own path towards my destination.</div>
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I only wish I could have left the warehouse more prepared. My shoes weren't hurting my feet by any means of their own, but they weren't exactly the best to support my soles on this journey either. If only I'd bought hiking boots recently. I used to always make sure I owned a pair. However, with the passing years and no real reason to fret of being tossed back into living in the woods I stopped the practice. Buying a new pair as I left Aspen Harbor wouldn't have helped either, with the shoes not being broken in properly.</div>
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"At least I'm making good time," I whispered to myself on a break.</div>
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No one had spotted me. No one had stopped me. The farther I got, the farther I left my hesitations behind. They weren't anything strong enough to make me waste all this effort. I munched on my snack, took a deep breath of fresh air finally clean from the city's pollution, and glanced to the sky to adjust my position.</div>
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It was a good thing Dad, Grandpa, and Mr. Mint taught me so well in the way of orienteering. No doubt Dad's reasoning for all the lessons was to make sure I'd have no excuse of being lost should I have chose to wander past the limits he set. My stomach soured whenever I brought up happy memories, like us spending a cheerful day in the woods, only to understand now all the manipulation behind it. That was what this was all about though. Sighing, I took out what made my wandering even easier.</div>
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"If I'm here, then..."</div>
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Cinnamon's splurging about geocaching had prompted me to dig out an old something during my morning preparation. I'd charged it with the battery pack Jessamine and Tulip kept for our cell phones and the like. This old tablet had been a big purchase for me back in the day, although the rapid pace of technology left it on the bulky, obsolete side these days. However, it worked well enough in me installing a GPS app to position myself and keep note of where I needed to go. The only thing was I had to turn it off between uses lest the battery die.</div>
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A silly part of me hoped I'd get to my goal before the day ended. Low winds coiling through the trees with the scent of a cool night while stretching shadows began to fade into the weakening sunlight provided the obvious answer that my hope was unachievable. Disappointment didn't hit me too hard though. I would have had to run all day in a straight line to have made it. I just wasn't looking forward to spending a night outside with meager supplies. Again, to avoid suspicion, I'd only been able to bring what I could stuff inside my bookbag. I had my food, which was primarily protein bars. I had my water, three small blankets for a bed, the tablet, a utility knife, and a tiny baggie of medical supplies. Not particular the best safety net. I seriously hated protein bars too. They always left a weird aftertaste in my mouth. Such was why I hesitated on eating 'dinner' when I wandered off the direct path a bit to find a spot near the hills with few signs of animals about. Thank goodness there hadn't been wolves in these areas for a long time.</div>
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As the sky darkened, I glanced up thinking of bears. Were there bears around? It'd been one thing I'd overlooked checking in my hasty preparations. There were some living in the woods if Dad hadn't been lying about that too. I searched for the star-bears as those silver lights began to twinkle ruminating on how his warning truly might be the most honest thing that ever left his lips. I searched my brain picking apart all my memories, not having a distraction for these slow hours. Sifting through everything only being able to grab slivers of truth here and there eventually turned my head numb. I rolled out my blankets, switched out the protein bar for a precious granola bar instead, took one big sip of water, and curled up for what rest would find me.</div>
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The weather predictions blessedly proved accurate. Only a few lazy clouds spotted the night sky, and the temperature didn't dip too low. Unfortunately, my nerves of nightly dangers did prevent my sleep from reaching deep, as did the bugs wishing to crawl over me. I picked a spider out of my hair when the tepid morning sun slid down the hill to stir me from the best few hours of rest I managed to steal. The protein bar was forced down then, I permitted myself more water, and I found the best spot I could to use the bathroom. My feet got massaged. I spared a splash of water to rinse my teeth and face. My muscles were stretched. Everything packed up nicely. Then the very last thing to do went wrong.</div>
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"C'mon. You worked just fine last night in this same spot," I grumbled.</div>
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I madly tapped the tablet's surface over and over again. It'd been slow to wake, and the first three times I tried to get into the GPS app it crashed before it could load. Now it opened but wouldn't focus on my position. It only tried to orient itself in Aspen Harbor, to the street corner where I first turned it on.</div>
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"What's the point of a tool that's supposed to tell me where I am no matter what if it has conditions on when it's able to work?" I complained.</div>
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The tablet kept trying to connect to the internet. Obviously, there was none of that around here. It took me half an hour of fiddling with the settings and wasting battery before the map pulled up properly.</div>
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Nothing of interest happened for the longest time. I walked, rested when my feet begged for a break, and checked my position with the tablet. Then I got to the point where the thing couldn't help me anymore. I'd reached the area marked 'Unavailable' by the satellite maps, which sent the GPS reeling and my dot sporadically jumping to random places. That was when the repetitive scenery spurred nervous tingles in my gut. I was actually getting closer. I was actually doing this. I really had to pay attention now. Trees and sloping hills were not all I was bound to find anymore.</div>
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And find something I did. It started with me recognizing a harder ground underneath my feet. Curious, I dug for a moment to discover ages-old cut rock hidden beneath the dirt. All it took past that was a glimpse up the way to see how the hidden stone followed a still decreased line of plant growth to realize this had once been a road. At the end of the road? Well, I found none other than an abandoned mine. Boarded up with rotting planks and rusty nails, discarded carts lay upon another as far as the eye could see, which wasn't far given that pure darkness soon consumed the tunnel.</div>
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"If I was a bit more reckless, I almost might want to explore this a little."<br />
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<br />
The temptation was there. The weak boards could be knocked down with a big stick, so I wouldn't have to worry about touching them. The carts were clustered in the center of the tunnel. Getting around them wouldn't be a problem. I'd only go as far the sunlight would reach. However, no, I was not that reckless. I walked up to the entrance, sure, but that was as far as I would ever go.<br />
<br />
But all my sensations suddenly detached. The world went black, and my consciousness floated outside the confines of my body. Stranger than that, I could still feel. It just wasn't me who moved. I was merely a watcher and not the puppet-master, and though I registered touch, sound, scent...it was if I registered it from ten feet over. My feet ached more than they had. My shoulders burned with strain. Those shoulders were much larger than mine. A man's? The indecipherable clamor of voices was both welcome and not. 'I' just wanted silence, but at least the noise helped drown out the shouting of someone barking orders from behind me. Someone 'I' hated. The harsh reverberation of a tool, a pickaxe, chaffed my hands raw as it worked the stone. Down and down into the cold and uncertain darkness I pressed. My throat soon grew sore from demanding with those alongside me that it was too far. That the rock groaned too much. But the hated one didn't listen. Just one more day, 'I' told myself. That would be the day the groaning turned into a roar. I'd sensed it coming, so I ran and ran until the safety of light was almost upon me. Frustratingly, the collapsing rock was also upon me. Underneath it I went, and there I lay until the fire burning my lungs gave out. I wouldn't move again. They had seen me though. He had seen me. With the broke rock content, it wouldn't take much effort to dig me free. As long as I could rest somewhere more comfortable...but they're blocking up the entrance? They're sealing me in? But I'm right here. I'm right here. I want to be free.<br />
<br />
I should be free. I want to be free.<br />
<br />
<i>I will be free</i>.<br />
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<br />
At what point that other's sensation became mine, I didn't know. I only realized his was mine when my own core was pulled in two directions. The one I was wanted me, but a much stronger sensation yanked me free. It was the strength of a single strand of hair against a rope. A naughty infant clutching a stolen toy, and the parent taking it away. The strong force held me firmly yet kindly, irritated but not overly bothered by what now slithered away with a growl.<br />
<br />
I blinked. I shook my head. My lungs needed a deep breath, for it was if someone squeezed my head forcing out what was there. Had I just blacked out? I thought things turned dark for a second, but I guess I must have been staring in the tunnel for too long. It seriously was creepy. I didn't spook easily after living at the warehouse for so long. However, I swore I saw a pair of angry eyes glowing at me from within the deep black.<br />
<br />
"There's definitely bad air inside there." I covered my mouth with my arm. "No wonder this place was condemned. My head feels fuzzy."<br />
<br />
Walking away was the only logical choice.<br />
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The strange pressure on my head continued for an hour after I left the mine. It was as if something was forcing me to forget, because once that hour passed I seriously had to concentrate to recall I'd even gone by there. Perhaps the lone reason I did remember was because of me wondering if those mine tunnels had anything to do with the tunnel Mr. Flaxen and I used to escape. The distance between them wasn't impossible. Or, it could be there had been another mine in the area, and that's where the tunnel had come from.<br />
<br />
Somewhere around lunch I stopped dead in my tracks. Shock froze every muscle. The situation obviously was that one's home could never leave you that easily, but it took a good minute of me staring at what was around to accept it as familiar. I'd actually gone about this smart enough and trusted my skills to bring me to my destination? To be fair, my house was hardly over the next hill. This area was at the edge of the place I'd wandered with Grandpa in tow. A forty-five minute walk remained, but still...<br />
<br />
It was only a forty-five minute walk away.<br />
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The bookbag slid off my shoulder as heat once more took hold in my chest. O-Okay, I needed to have something to eat. I needed to have something to drink. This had gone faster and more smoothly than anticipated, but the dangerous part of this truly lay ahead. Perhaps it would be better to circle around and...<br />
<br />
"Nutmeg!"<br />
<br />
I didn't react to the noise. Not at first. Comprehending my success desensitized me to everything else, even though mustering my senses to full recognition was exactly what I told myself had to be done. Who knows what government or Company employee or whoever could sneak up on me now?<br />
<br />
"<i>Nutmeg</i>!"<br />
<br />
It finally struck that the sound of my name was real. What didn't come off as real, however, was Pieter rapidly stomping his way over.<br />
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"...Pieter?" I tilted my head, waiting for my mad brain to make this ghost of him disappear.<br />
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<br />
He didn't disappear. Of course he didn't. As crazy as it was to think of him being right in front of me, to rather have it be my mind imagining him was the crazier thing. The truth sank in when Pieter was one step away. I recoiled when glancing at his taught expression. Was it anger he wore? When he reached his hand out, was it to hit me as I'd hit him? Pieter had been gone for a long time without word, but at least he'd given something of a hint that he'd be gone. I just left. Honestly, I might feel better about hitting him if he hit me too.<br />
<br />
"You're seriously..." Pieter complained at me, only pulling me into an embrace.<br />
<br />
An embrace I melted into. I'd been burning with heat, yes, but Pieter's warm hold came as something completely different. It wasn't a heat of fear and uncertainty, but one that I'd long gone to for security and reassurance. We stood there with the sounds of nature filling the otherwise silent air between us.<br />
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<br />
Until the cogs spinning deep within me jolted with a spark to set my arms thick with goosebumps. Pieter willingly stepped back when I wrenched free of him, muscles tense as rocks and eyes narrowed to a point.<br />
<br />
"What do you think you're doing here!?" I demanded. "<i>You</i> can get a whole month to fuck off and do whatever you want, but heaven forbid I try to do something for myself?"<br />
"That's not what<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
"You've wasted your time, for I'll hear nothing of you trying to turn me around! My choices are my own!"<br />
"They are, but<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
"I'm going home! Don't you dare try to whine about how I lied, or how I went without saying something! You have no idea what this means, and to follow me to stop me<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
"Nutmeg, I'm not here to stop you!"<br />
<br />
Pieter finally pushed for a sentence of his own.<br />
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<br />
What he said halted me long enough to stop reacting off my first instinct. I'd expected anger, rebuke, belittling. Pieter just stood there as calmly as one could be with someone shouting at him though. His eyes hid no lie.<br />
<br />
"...What?"<br />
"I'm not here to stop you," he repeated.<br />
"Why not?"<br />
"Well, it was my first intention when I realized what you were doing, but<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
"Wait, how did you even know what I was doing?"<br />
"Twenty Questions, huh? Okay. I just...had a really strong feeling about it. I was talking with Jess, Tulip, Cinny, and all them yesterday about how you were while I was gone. Then I put that together with what I know about you and how you looked after our conversation. All these years we've talked about your past, when we realized you had no babysitting job, when you left your phone behind, when it was clear you were actually gone...the conclusion came as pretty obvious. My research into the pieces of my past that haunted me spurred you into doing the same."<br />
"And...you're okay with that?"<br />
"Like I said, I meant to stop you at first. The situations you might encounter are a lot more dangerous than what I was doing. Then I realized it was not my place to make your decision. I just...just wanted to be with you when it happened. So I could get a proper goodbye."<br />
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<br />
My eyes narrowed again, but this time from confusion.<br />
<br />
"Proper...? Pieter, I'm not, like, turning myself in or anything," I clarified.<br />
"Uh..." He needed a good long moment to make another sound. "No?"<br />
"No."<br />
"But you just said you were going home."<br />
"I didn't mean it like that," I sighed. Annoyingly, with that breath, I found myself tearing up. "I...you are right. Everything that was left behind here has followed me as a cold shadow. What you did was the reason I finally decided to turn around and face it. I-I wanted to see what had become of everything. I hoped, I <i>hope</i> it might be abandoned or at least unwatched enough for me to get close to the house. My burdened memories have morphed it into an enigma. Seeing it, being inside might finally lock what I feel into something clear and less confusing. Or, there is a small part of me that thinks, if I do find the area occupied, I might come to the conclusion I want to turn myself in...on my own terms. The only reason I wouldn't come back is if I messed up and got myself caught."<br />
"Oh. I...that makes me glad," Pieter exhaled, relieved.<br />
"But<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
"But?"<br />
"But I was so certain until I got here!" I barely held back my tears. "I recognize this place! I wanted to go past where I'd been before, so Grandpa took us out on a walk. This little valley, we said it looked like a lazy hot dog bun. It's still a bit of a walk to the house, but I don't have to wonder if I'm going the right way anymore! I just want to stop hating myself, but the longer we stand here..."<br />
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<br />
Pieter frowned but offered an embrace. I let him draw me in low while I clutched his shoulder for support and sought a grounding touch against his cheek.<br />
<br />
"Nutmeg, you don't have to hate yourself. I'm surprised to hear you do. You're such a good person, and you're some of the best of us. You..." Pieter trailed off when I hurriedly shook my head.<br />
"I-I don't think I'm a bad person, but I f-feel so disgusted with <i>everything</i>."<br />
"What do you mean by everything?"<br />
"Everything! The lies I tell, conning people, stealing my sister's name when she didn't get the chance to use it, still not being able to figure out if I would live as I did with Dad and Grandpa while knowing the truth if I could turn back time..."<br />
"You stopped doing the cons I taught you long ago. Who do you even lie to these days?"<br />
"It doesn't change the fact that I did them! And what are you on about? I lie nearly everyday, to all the people I babysit for, to the people I talked with at stores, to the library staff."<br />
"I, well, that's not untrue. Those are technically lies, but I can't see a reason to feel guilty over them."<br />
"You don't get it, Pieter! It's not even the guilt that's the worst of the problem. It's Dad! He molded me exactly how he wanted me. I can't even begin to understand how deeply he trapped me into trusting him. To follow unquestioningly, to never lie. It was only when I was with Grandpa, another authority figure, that I ever dared to tip in a way like Dad didn't want, such as going out for that walk. What I did in the months before the raid was...was so not me. It would have been a confined spot of disobedience on an otherwise endless squeaky clean record. To go from that to the way we've had to live, it challenges what he put in my core. I don't think it's ever coming out."<br />
<br />
My words shook. I said what I felt, but I had no idea if Pieter could understand what in the world I was trying to say. All of this only scratched the surface too. No way I could expunge every drop of the storm inside. It helped, however, when I miserably raised my eyes to a clearing in the dark clouds. Pieter didn't do anything besides smile at me with eyes full of love, but it was enough to remind me there was more than my burdened chest.<br />
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<br />
My legs that had been so rigid softened until they couldn't support my weight. Pieter and I slowly sank to the ground where he collected me against him while I did my best just to breathe.<br />
<br />
"I get enough of what you're trying to say. It's not quite the same, but I recall some of how I used to be before Boulder died, before Mom left, before Dad became a zombie. To have the world force you to play a role you don't want, it hurts. I'll always fight that the disobediences we've done to survive are not crimes that should weigh on our hearts, but I understand my thoughts are not yours as well as that you have a right to them. Maybe we can find someone who can better talk with you about it in a way I don't know how. Regardless, I'll be here to help if you think I can provide it." Pieter took a long breath. "About Cinnamon...who can say what a few day old baby would grow up to think? I can't imagine she'd condemn you for using her name. We could always just come out with the truth too. Besides Cinny teasing about it causing moments of confusion, no one is going to make it a big deal. Your real name or who you are. Then, about thinking you might go back to your previous life if possible even knowing the truth<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> our minds, <i>everyone's</i> minds are erratic. People have 'bad' thoughts all the time. Wanting the person who cut them off to drive into a ditch. Needing money and contemplating what it would be like to rob a bank. That sort of thing. No one talks about it though because of the stigma. Nutmeg, you are <i>not</i> at fault for wanting what was safe and happy when times get hard. Even if it was possible, you still wouldn't be the one to blame. You're the child. You're not responsible for the terrible actions of the adults in your life, and it is not on you to ensure they get whatever punishment logic dictates they should have."<br />
<br />
Pieter rubbed my back as he spoke. I listened, kept breathing, and finally...laughed.<br />
<br />
"How wise," I noted quietly.<br />
"Remember those tests I failed? Health was one of them, so I've picked up a few psychology books to expand my repertoire," Pieter remarked brightly.<br />
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<br />
I nodded and giggled before going silent. Pieter glanced my way now and again, waiting for a response or continuation of the conversation, I'm sure. Nothing was going to come though. I was done with words for the moment. I'd splurged out enough of my worries with Pieter counteracting most of them to leave me drained from the whiplash. My heart raced from being so close to home, and I remained shocked from Pieter's abrupt appearance.<br />
<br />
Oh...yeah...<br />
<br />
"Pieter, how the fuck did you find me? I had good enough luck finding my way when I generally knew where I was going and used a GPS, but you were following me on a whim and just so happened to stumble upon me in miles and miles of wilderness? Especially when I had a major head start?"<br />
"I didn't understand where you were going until this morning. If I had time left, I'd have be driven. I got a taxi to the closest public place near here. That's how I was able to catch up. However, finding you...I can't explain it in a way that doesn't sound ridiculous. All I can say is that I walked as if someone was holding my hand and guiding me to you. Given that I had no other option, I followed the sensation since it seemed to be heading in the right direction."<br />
"That...is ridiculous," I said.<br />
<br />
Pieter shrugged. What more could I say? Pieter wasn't lying, and more information wouldn't suddenly manifest by prodding him. He and I sat there, eventually laying there as we let the situation keep settling. I only wish the tension in my body vanished. Pieter's presence worked somewhat, but he was half a pill against the flu. He didn't protest when I kissed him now and again searching for the comfort that'd been there before, and I hid my disappointment that enough wasn't coming. Just kissing, just cuddling wouldn't work. My silly mind thus went for the one simple conclusion.<br />
<br />
"Pieter," My palm pressed against his chest, "be with me."<br />
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<br />
His wide smile surprised me. An agreement that easily? Teenage boys were something else, huh? Then Pieter opened his mouth to reveal to discrepancy.<br />
<br />
"I will. I...I know I lost a lot of your trust being gone, but I will do everything I can from now on to make sure you know you can still have faith in me. I'll be crystal clear about whatever I'm doing whenever you want to know. I will double-down on getting along with Dad. If you want to live with him instead of getting an apartment, I'm fine with that. Truly, whatever."<br />
<br />
Okay. He assumed I was prompting the unspoken uncertainty about our relationship after what he did. That did make more sense though.<br />
<br />
"That's not what I mean."<br />
"What do you mean?" Pieter tilted his head.<br />
"I mean...<i>be</i> with me."<br />
<br />
How else could I say it without sounding crass? Pieter's head only tilted further though, so I went with action instead of words. His smile faded and his eyes went wide as I straddled him.<br />
<br />
"Uhh..." he hesitated. "<i>Oh</i>."<br />
"Yeah?"<br />
"Yeah, <i>what</i>?" Pieter was torn, trying not to laugh. "Are you telling me you want to have sex <i>now</i> when we're within spitting distance of highly powerful government or Company surveillance?"<br />
"The house is almost an hour away. No chance they'd have power-demanding surveillance this far out."<br />
"Well, I appreciate your faith in my ability to provide a pleasant time when it <i>is</i> a possibility they're watching, we're out here in the middle of nowhere on the hard ground, I have no protection, and I'm a virgin with no experience myself, need I remind you. The answer is no." Pieter denied me, and his eyes squinted in amused irritation with his grin growing as I nestled closer upon him. "Even with you doing that."<br />
"C'mon. This is not the time to find some willpower," I whined.<br />
"This is the perfect time for some willpower!" Pieter laughed.<br />
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<br />
He defiantly, but lovingly, wiggled me off until I was in a more acceptable position of simply resting on him. I would have rolled away to lay by myself had the itching desire to be enthralled by him still not claimed me. Pieter laughed again at my loud huff.<br />
<br />
"I'm seriously stunned. For the one who had no interest in intimacy, to suddenly be this adamant about doing it right here..."<br />
"It's kinda like what I told you before. I'm not in love with you, but I love you and your touch plants my feet on the ground. This little trip has shaken me up, so touches and kisses alone aren't good enough," I explained.<br />
<br />
Pieter opened and closed his mouth, more awkward than before, serious too, and blushing.<br />
<br />
"I really do appreciate the amount of faith you have in me to think sleeping with me would be so impactful. I don't take that lightly. Don't get me wrong either. I want to sleep with you. I do." He raised a brow when I glanced up hopefully. "But this is not the right time."<br />
"The ground's not that bad."<br />
"Says the one not laying on the ground." Pieter poked my forehead. "But seriously, you said it right now that you're shaken up. I can't get myself to believe us both opening up that deeply in such an uncertain environment will do any good. I'm more concerned about your emotional state in that regard than I am swayed by a temporary whim on what you think may fix the much more deeply-rooted reasons for why you seek the comfort in the first place."<br />
<br />
I frowned hard.<br />
<br />
"Stop reading those psychology books. That's an order from your teacher," I commanded, which Pieter met with a smirk.<br />
"Except I'm the more rebellious one here, so no," he refused. "Let's just take our rest, and we'll figure out what you want to do about going home after that, huh? Just remember, we'll go together either way."<br />
"That's...fine," I accepted.<br />
<br />
Letting go of my resistance, I snuggled Pieter properly. He held me tight, and that was perfect for me for now.</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-47800226467293040182020-04-13T19:06:00.002-04:002020-04-20T11:19:10.475-04:00Gen Four- Chapter Twenty Three<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I left the Blueberry residence with a relieved sigh in my heart. There were few kids I babysat who tipped towards that end of the scale of being temper-prone brats. Mostly I didn't go back to houses with children raised like that, but Aspen Harbor's parents, at least the ones on the website I used, knew how to teach their offspring manners. However, the six-year-old and four-year-old who lived here were in moods today. They weren't interested in anything I suggested and weren't even happy getting the choice to do what they wanted. I'd rarely been so glad to have the parents walk through the front door.<br />
<br />
And I should have expected what I saw when I walked out the front door myself.<br />
<br />
"Cinny," I noted upon seeing her stand there with a big grin. "Here to walk me home?"<br />
"Uh-huh! It's such a beautiful day that I thought you and I should enjoy some sights as we head back."<br />
"As we head back," I repeated. "Except you would have been at the warehouse otherwise had you not already made the long trek here."<br />
"No, I was in the area," Cinnamon lied with her smile growing.<br />
"Right. Well, thanks. It is a nice day for a walk."<br />
<br />
She knew I knew she lied, but what was the point in calling it out? This had been what Cinnamon and Ruby had been doing for weeks<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> distracting me from focusing on a certain missing someone.</div>
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<br />
While there were moments I did wish for the solitary and quiet, I couldn't complain at the amount of concern coming my way.<br />
<br />
"Is there a place in particular you wanted to go?" I asked.<br />
"Not really. I'm thinking since we really are on the other side of Aspen Harbor we can look for the places we're not familiar with and do some exploring."<br />
"I don't know if that's going to be possible for me at this point, but I'm up for a challenge."<br />
"If you think there's no much left to find, you should try geocaching."<br />
"Geocaching?"<br />
"Ruby told me about it yesterday. Said her dad was super into it. You register on this website, purchase a GPS device, and use the coordinates other people post to find 'caches' left there. You enter your name into the logbook, and sometimes people leave little prizes behind. It's like a worldwide scavenger hunt!"<br />
"Sounds more like something you want to try," I giggled.<br />
"We can do it together."<br />
"It does sound intriguing. Let's look into it later."<br />
"Awesome!"<br />
<br />
Cinnamon did a little jump and bounced her steps as we started the walk.<br />
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<br />
It'd been a while now since anything truly did appeal to me. My days blurred into putting on fake smiles and saying what was expected to be said. The idea that the absence of one person would put such a defeated blase attitude in my chest tore irritation throughout my core. However, Cinnamon's suggestion, against all odds, did stir my interest. The idea of there being these secret treasure troves in plain sight added a new sense of wonder to the environment of which I'd become so accustomed.<br />
<br />
"This area is where I want to live," Cinnamon announced suddenly. On our journey back, we followed a dirt path leading us to the gush of a fountain in a little lake surrounded by verdant greenery and adorable houses.<br />
"Where you want to live?"<br />
"I want to help Tulip and Jessamine out as much as possible once I turn eighteen. Tulip and I are then going to find a different place once the responsibility of the warehouse is passed to someone else. I think these houses are perfect."<br />
"If you two want to buy a house, won't that cause problems or be an extra burden if you guys get married or start a family?"<br />
"Tulip says she never expects to be in a relationship."<br />
"Really?"<br />
"Yeah." Cinnamon's gaze grew shaded. "She doesn't hate the idea, but after everything in her life her ability to trust and open up like that is abysmal. Her father scarred her away from having children due to the fear her husband might do something similar, and then a lot of her clients over the years have been married or in relationships. Tulip's spoken about how she knows she's really only seen the bad side of the matter, but it's more that it's simply turned her to the stance that other things in life to her are of heightened importance than romance or child-bearing."<br />
"That understandable. Completely," I acknowledged. Silence lingered, and I eventually cast a curious glance at my friend. "You didn't say anything about you though."<br />
"Oh, I totally wanted to get married and have kids at some point. My guy will just have to deal with Tulip and I being a package. Besides, I'll come with a house. That should be a good enough appeal."<br />
"True," I laughed.<br />
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<br />
Perhaps I was simply in a better mood today. Perhaps the release of stress after getting away from those kids was the reason. Perhaps the conversation proved especially interesting, or perhaps Cinnamon was being particularly charming today. Whatever the case, that laugh was a true and deep one that eased many of my soul's aches. I began to feel good. But, of course, my life wouldn't let that last for long. Cinnamon and I passed a construction site for a new business going up.<br />
<br />
"I've heard about them here and there over the years. Golden Crown Enterprise. They do a lot of good things, apparently. Aspen Harbor is expected to get a boost with this new branch opening up," Cinnamon noted.<br />
"Mmm." I couldn't get more out of my throat about the subject. "M-Mind if we pop in this library here real quick?"<br />
"Sure."<br />
<br />
She followed me to the second floor where I instantly pulled up a web browser. My heart pounded with a threatening ache, like an overstuffed balloon and this news a needle hovering nearby. People didn't get it. Everyone thought 'Golden Crown' meant an actual headpiece, but why wouldn't they? The business used one as their logo. However, it was to hide reality. 'Golden Crown' actually referred to the crown of a tree. The Company liked to use tree based names for their various business routes. Hence the original name of the base operation being Spreading Roots. It was the foundation and lifeblood for all that would follow. Finding news of Golden Crown's opening branch wasn't hard. Everyone was excited for the jobs it would bring and the things it would do. Searching for any news of The Company, however, brought up little. There were forums where curious members of the populace sleuthed together what they thought were signs of activity. However, most sources returned me to old articles about Dad, Grandpa, and how they were the last dregs of The Company that ended up with their just rewards.<br />
<br />
"They're having a 'Night Off' tonight. The city is turning off unnecessary lights and encouraging everyone to do the same so we can see the stars better for one evening. I can't wait," Cinnamon, oblivious to my tension, remarked.<br />
"Yeah," I replied instinctively, hardly listening.<br />
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<br />
I don't know why I let myself get as wound up as I did. I knew despite The Company having faced a problem in the past where some traitors exposed a lot of the organization's operations that they continued to thrive. Its influence had never left my presence, and not even for the fact I grew up amongst its ranks. Business and corporations in the city were surely linked to them. I just didn't know which due to many being hidden even from other Company affiliated practices. Golden Crown merely happened to be a subset I did have knowledge of. Them popping into the city wouldn't cause what was the source of my fear<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> discovery. The only people who might be able to recognize me anymore were almost all in jail. The Company had nothing to gain from taking me back. Seriously, what did I have to worry about from random new employees who had no idea of my existence?<br />
<br />
"Ahh, it's so pretty. Not as good as when we went camping, but still pretty," Fennel gushed when she, Cinnamon, and I braced ourselves against the cold evening air to experience this 'Night Out'.<br />
"A dream I have is for the world to get to the point where public space travel to the moon is possible. I'd give anything to get a glimpse of the world from up there!"<br />
"Public space travel to the moon?" I raised a brow.<br />
"It could happen!" Cinnamon insisted. "Holographic toys are common now, and have you seen how some companies can get their robots to walk almost realistically? The desire for better space exploration is building after being in a lull. Technology is changing fast in our lifetime. I'm going to hope."<br />
"I'll come with you, Cinny!" Fennel cheered.<br />
"We'll go to the moon together then. It's a promise."<br />
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<br />
The two high-fived. I offered my best fake chuckle and said I'd come as well...if they bought me a ticket. That prompted banter, but soon our words quieted upon us further taking in the celestial expanse and its ethereal speckles of light. I found myself leaning against the fence and thinking. I pondered what I'd seen today and the discussion we'd just had. Holographic toys being common? Robots that could barely walk with any sort of grace? What I'd seen in my youth blew all of that out of the water, and I'm sure despite the raid those programs continued with great success. The world was farther ahead than it thought. Such was why I ruminated more on Golden Crown and these past few hours of worries. A sentiment I never dared to consider before crept into my mind.<br />
<br />
Was I really done with The Company?<br />
<br />
My mouth went dry and sour as a gut reaction. The Company were the ones who helped Grandpa torment Mom's family. They were the ones who helped him and Dad kill. They'd used me as an experiment, and who knows how my life would have gone had I stayed with them. However...I couldn't shake what followed after that reaction. What wasn't corrupt in this world? Where could I go, what could I do that wouldn't somehow enable something bad? If...if there was no escaping it, why not go to where the most good could be done? I liked math. I liked astronomy. With The Company, I might be the one who could make Cinnamon's dream come true. The Company's programs were all so separated, exactly as I'd calmed myself with that knowledge earlier. The new people would be innocent in anything that'd happened to me. <i>I</i> wanted the path Pieter put out before us, yet it finally dawned on me all my 'when's were turning to 'if's. If Pieter came back. If we could be as we were before. If he wanted any of it at all.<br />
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<br />
That was my head not giving itself a filter as the stars watched me silently struggle without ceasing. Cinnamon and Fennel retreated inside far before I did, and sleep didn't take me until well in the early morning. I ignored how little the lack of rest bothered me. More importantly, I emphasized to myself that all the thoughts keeping me up were already fading in desire and intensity. It was all fanciful conjecture brought out by the enticing possibilities the open heavens provoked. Surely. I dressed, used the restroom, and went to the big room where Jessamine and Tulip were to see if there was anything they needed me to do. What I ended up doing was eavesdropping.<br />
<br />
"I never realized how crucial Leo's presence was," Tulip sighed. She spoke softly and the door muffled her voice, but I merely leaned closer. "Our police keep telling me of how many more unwanteds they're picking up in this area, and now they're beginning to question whether or not its worth it to allow us to stay here."<br />
"They wanted to condemn this whole area and get rid of the possibility of anyone staying nearby?"<br />
"I can't imagine it's something they'd go to so soon, but is it a spark of a possibility, yes."<br />
"Tch. I can beat up people plenty well enough. It shouldn't have to be the sight of a big strong man that scares idiots off, but what can we do? I would love to have Pieter patrol, but..."<br />
"Even for someone who's been around forever like him, we really can't assume anyone will be here the next day. My hope is we come across some new people to take in soon, at least another guy or two."<br />
"It's seriously slim pickings, isn't it?" Jessamine admitted in a desperate grumble. "For almost ever we never had enough beds for everyone, and now we have beds to spare! Not to mention how it's hurting us monetarily. The house, food, medicine, everything else...with so few people and all the changes it won't be long before our savings start to go or we have to bump up rent."<br />
"I think I'll just have to keep working with my men for the time being. Cutting that line off so abruptly, no matter how much it's wanted, is only going to doom us right now," Tulip sighed again.<br />
"I'm so sorry, Tulip."<br />
"Eh, it's life at this point. Just another part of the daily grind."<br />
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<br />
I shuffled away with my head low. Did the world seriously have to make everything shit all at once? One day with a bolstered sense of security and peace couldn't be that outlandish of a wish. Fennel, the sleepyhead, barely stirred when I dropped back onto my bed. Now with dashed eagerness, I moped until everyone woke for breakfast. Jessamine and Tulip smiled and chatted as if nothing was out of the ordinary. I almost went to them afterwards to admit what I'd chosen to let myself overheard, yet my feet took me outside instead. Better to give them time to sort matters out before making them feel worse by spreading the concern they clearly wanted to hide to someone else. The movement I saw I thought was the slanted shadows lazily creeping onward. Then color came into my dropped sight, and my head snapped up.<br />
<br />
Honestly, seeing Pieter there didn't do anything to me at first. He'd been a daily part of my life for so long it came off as ridiculous to question his presence. His long absence became negligible for that brief second. Of course, that soon passed. I froze. He froze. Pieter couldn't look my way. I couldn't do anything but stare at him. Neither of us could speak.<br />
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<br />
He looked well. No, not well. Undamaged, physically, was the better word. He'd been able to eat, he'd been able to sleep, and no one had him captured beating him up like my nightmares taunted. Pieter's timid gaze failing to focus on me came off as drained and uncertain, but it wasn't dead like it'd been before he left. That was good. He flinched as I stepped toward him. That was better.<br />
<br />
Shock fading and the dam breaking, a fury blistering like the noon sun caught my chest. My arms shook. Maybe that was why Pieter flinched harder when I did nothing other than brush past him with a hard stomp.<br />
<br />
"Nut<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>!" Pieter bit his lip while glancing at the warehouse. "Cinnamon. I...please wait. I know, I <i>know</i> I've been the worst..."<br />
"Way to put it lightly!"<br />
"The absolute worst. The biggest piece of shit. Someone who shouldn't be bothering you. Someone who doesn't deserve to ask for a chance to explain."<br />
"Yet you're trying to do it anyway!"<br />
"You're a much better person than me."<br />
"Oh, fuck off! Don't think you can appease me with something so pathetic!"<br />
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<br />
All my insides compressed while my senses went numb. It was if my body detached itself in two different directions, and every uneasy breath hastened the loss of control. For a month I'd been holding back.<br />
<br />
No. Again, that was wrong. For years I'd been holding back. Suppressing emotions. Pretending I wasn't as scared as I was. Ignoring the self-hatred for every lie that passed my lip, for every devious thing I'd done to survive. Letting myself believe in every shaky support that inevitably vanished. Sticking a knife in my identity, too often forgetting what my own name was. All of that was a vain attempt to clutch onto the sharp, broken pieces of that little bright-eyed, eager to please and follow Nutmeg who wanted nothing more than to swim and dance.<br />
<br />
"Cinnamon," Pieter spoke more of that poison. He found enough courage to hurry after me and take my wrist in his hand. "Please. I'm not asking you to forgive or understand or make a decision or anything. I just want to let you know why I was gone, and you can do whatever you want from there."<br />
"Let go of me!"<br />
"I just<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
"I said LET GO!"<br />
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<br />
Pieter complied. His grip weak to begin with fluttered away as a feather in the wind. He stood docile and meek with his hands at his side and head bent downward. The words he wished to say he kept back, awaiting my reaction. I should have continued walking. Trying to resolve anything about us or what happened in the past month obviously was not ideal at this point. Pieter asked for too much even though he thought he asked for little, and the small convulsions quivering my body as the heat threatened to melt me from within only signaled the break that soon came. Pieter saw me turning to face him. He watched as I stood before him not leaving as before. It was only inevitable he would assume I sought some sort of reparation.<br />
<br />
"I'm...I'm sorry," he apologized, finally bringing his green eyes up to meet mine.<br />
<br />
What he thought I wanted was wrong. What he thought he should do was wrong. I didn't want an apology, and him daring to bring his stare up to my level was an arrogant challenge and foolish belief of the height of kindness in my heart. Pieter realized this too late when my face contorted. When the rage and cracks gushing out the blackened parts of my being rose my palm and drove it into the side of his face with a cracking impact.<br />
<br />
Pieter staggered, but only the faintest gasp of pain had left his lips. He didn't hesitate to let our gazes meet again. In the frozen moment and utter silence, Pieter chose to have his stare be soft and tender. A flood of tears instantly drenched my cheeks.<br />
<br />
"I-I'm...sor<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>! I shouldn't, shouldn't...!"<br />
"Nutmeg, it's fine. I don't blame you at all. I rather expected it at some point after what I did. You're not guilty of anything," Pieter whispered without lie, with warm conviction.<br />
"No! It's not right to ever hit someone like that! I know better! I...I..."<br />
<br />
I was proving all the cold tendrils coiling around mt ribs right. Any delusions of still being that little Nutmeg faded with each sob. Pieter offered me total forgiveness, but it just broke down my broken pieces faster.<br />
<br />
"I forgive you if that helps," the idiot went and said.<br />
"Stop! Just stop!" I buried my face in my hands.<br />
"I-I..." Pieter rubbed his hands, uncertain but desperate. "Do you want me to get mad and yell at you? I'll do that, i-if it'll make you feel better."<br />
<br />
Tears flung left and right as I shook my head. It didn't matter what Pieter did. Nothing he could do would help me right now. So, I went and did what I had been trying to do. What I should have done. I ran away.<br />
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<br />
The more I ran the more the numbness replaced the rage's heat. My feet pounding the pavement not caring for everyone on the sidewalks giving me strange looks wrenched me back to that day years ago. The one where I stepped outside to the real world by myself for the first time. Where I spent hours by the beach. Where the police found the last man tacking me to a certain path, and where I made the choice to be as I was now. I ran and ran as I did then no longer afraid of the city, but afraid of myself. Searching for any comfort drove me to a familiar but long distant corner behind the courthouse. I sat and cried as I sat and cried before. I forced my watery vision to look up whenever my lungs sucked in enough air to grant my dizzy head stability desperate for a familiar purple woman to come and sit with me again. What did it matter if she wasn't the real Jazzy? She'd been kind. How could I blame her for being a liar when I wasn't any better?<br />
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<br />
Although it felt like my life was forever as it was in those painful moments, the aches did begin to ebb. The tears slowed, my nose stopped spouting quite so much, and my chest permitted proper breaths. Rational thinking was the best that returned. With it, an old idea spurred me to take out my phone. I needed help. I might...I might take a path I contemplated when with one little girl if perhaps that welcoming connection remained. I'd memorized the phone number long ago. While I worried if it still worked or would bring me to the right place, a peppy voice picking up the call proved those unnecessary worries.<br />
<br />
"This is the Zest residence. Cala speaking."<br />
<br />
Cala had grown as I had, yet there was something soothing about finding familiarity in her voice.<br />
<br />
"Hi, Cala." My voice somehow came out steady. I even smiled a bit thinking of those brief days spent together. "It's...I really don't know what to say. It's been a long time, and I don't know if you remember me. It's Cinnamon Holiday."<br />
"...Cinnamon? Cinnamon Holiday? Oh! The girl with the pink ribbons in her braids. I remember you."<br />
"I'm sorry I never called before now. It was hard to say at the time, but my family situation at the time was actually very...complicated. And rough. If you ever felt, uh, I don't know, upset that I didn't contact you again, I really am sorry."<br />
"Well, you know, speaking of that..." Cala's voice abruptly became tart, and I tensed. "I had hoped for a long while that you would call. I needed you to confirm something for me. At least I can ask now."<br />
"Oh?"<br />
"Did you take money from my parents' room? Twenty dollars?"<br />
<br />
Dread shortened my breaths again. My fingers itched to hang up the call. Hoping in the kindness of Cala's family and trusting her parents with the truth to help me find a place obviously wasn't in the cards. However, the urge to finally be rid of this weight prompted me to be honest.<br />
<br />
"...I did. Like I said, the situation with my family was rough. I was scared, and desperate, and didn't know what would happen with each new day. I-I didn't mean any harm, but..."<br />
"Doesn't matter!" Cala snapped. To hear such ire and bitterness from her broke my heart. "You stole from us when I was doing so much for you and being your friend! Do you know how much trouble I got in for defending you when my parents found out the money was missing? Even until now, despite it being the only option, I held out hope that you weren't at fault! I believed in you!"<br />
"I'm s-sorry, Cala..."<br />
"I don't want to hear it! I just hope you put that money to better use than buying junk food or getting some dumb koalamb toy! Don't call us again!"<br />
<br />
She slammed the phone down.<br />
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<br />
I couldn't be angry. I couldn't be upset. Part of me was, in fact, happy. Relieved. Telling the truth, being yelled at...it eased some of the guilt lurking within all this time. Cala didn't know all the ways I'd used and deceived her, but she knew enough to stop thinking of me kindly like I didn't deserve. That was why I made the library my destination once my tears were gone, the sniffles fully stopped, and my face no longer looked like a disaster. I used a piece of paper and a few pieces of tape nicely given to create a makeshift envelope. A borrowed pen wrote a note to stick inside and on the front of the envelope I addressed the contents to the Zests. All the money I had on me, fifty dollars, went in too once I approached the apartment building I had adamantly avoided until now. I stiffened walking up and into the front entrance searching out their mailbox. Nostalgia and regret battled for dominance, so I stuffed my apology inside their little box and departed with haste.<br />
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Not knowing what else to do or where else to go, I returned to the library. I did feel better giving back more than what I'd taken, but that didn't mean I felt better. My body sludged as I struggled to the top floor finding one of my favorite computers open. I didn't really need a computer though. Memories trapped me quiet and unmoving grateful most were outside on this later summer day. I recalled searching for information about Dad and Grandpa. I easily brought to mind the first time I saw that picture of Mom. I'd reprinted it several times over the years when the paper grew crumpled. Skylar and his wish to write a story of fae and a magical world only to be caught and taken popped up next. Maybe he'd gone on to write that story on his own. I'd never checked. Jiggling the mouse to wake the computer back up, my fingers hovered over the keyboard to type only to freeze. No...I'd have to check another day. If his story was there, if I found out he was living the best happy life one could have, I'd be too jealous right now to be glad for him. Better to wait to find out when I wouldn't be so petty.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQlt0Xc7RmtG8_-WYX5na-uHpoXE4rbJcYXnklJjfSDs6k90BwMXwe2Nb_qf7TvWrLBXs17qLkXfJmR4PdOzAvpif9fY0aqaNqwso42Cz44bGNCfJZvVImAAo84BFsUL5tXgg5ThCKzdzN/s1600/16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1360" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQlt0Xc7RmtG8_-WYX5na-uHpoXE4rbJcYXnklJjfSDs6k90BwMXwe2Nb_qf7TvWrLBXs17qLkXfJmR4PdOzAvpif9fY0aqaNqwso42Cz44bGNCfJZvVImAAo84BFsUL5tXgg5ThCKzdzN/s1600/16.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I had no money for lunch or dinner. There was seriously nothing I could do other than what I was doing, and I had the warehouse or Pieter's house as choices of locations. Given that Mr. Clay texted me after lunch to let me know Pieter had stopped by, he'd find me if I went to either. There was no way around it in the end. My stomach grumbled, my shoulders slumped with exhaustion, and I found I cared little about anything right now. Empty and spent, I returned to the warehouse. No one bothered me much, likely to do with my expression and whatever explanation Pieter had given them of this morning's situation. Dinner passed through my mouth without taste, the water somehow went down dry, and when Pieter quietly came downstairs to slink in the corner to give me space I sighed. He read me well enough to follow me outside.<br />
<br />
"I'm glad you don't have a bruise," I mumbled.<br />
"Ah. Jess...Jess was watching from the window in her room. She got me some ice and medicine to help with that."<br />
"That's good." A moment passed with the waves rushing with a lazy roar as the wind fluttered my ribbons. "Well?"<br />
"Well?"<br />
"Your explanation?"<br />
"Oh. It...it was that conversation we had at that dock. About baby names and your family. I realized there was still a lot I didn't know about you and them, and then I realized there was a lot I didn't know about my family. About...my mom." Pieter's deep breath shook heavily. He was doing everything he could to remain composed. "She's been frozen in my memories ever since she left. I didn't think about what she'd been getting up to in all these years. I wondered if she'd stayed single, or if she'd remarried or had more kids. I wanted to know, if the latter was true, about my siblings and their names and everything like that. I-I even wondered if I might be able to reconnect with Mom like I have been with Dad. Finding her current address wasn't hard knowing all her information. As was likely, she had remarried."<br />
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His voice quieted. Glancing back, I saw his head dip until his eyes were hidden and gravity pressed harder on his shoulders and back. Pieter's voice broke a little more as he continued.<br />
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"The listing I found also gave me the information of her new husband and family. It was that which caused all of this. I had to go see them in person. Well, I didn't go meet them. I watched them from afar. My mom married another mostly brown man. They have two boys. I have two more little brothers." Pieter's voice cracked, and he clenched his fingers together tightly. "But...can you guess what she named them?"<br />
<br />
A terrible answer came to mind. I couldn't say it, and a sad squeeze constricted me when Pieter confirmed it.<br />
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"Pieter and Boulder. She named them Pieter and Boulder." Pieter stubbornly rubbed at his forming tears. "Screw trying to reconnect with her. That bitch...she is trying to replace us like that. Completely erase everything that was by standing something new upon the ruins of the past. I just...didn't know what to do. I kept following them, watching them be happy. My brothers were so cheerful. I can't imagine they or their dad know anything about what she's done. It was why I couldn't approach them and call her out even though I was tempted over and over. They don't deserve to be dragged down like that. And...that's what I was doing. That's where I was. I'm sorry I didn't tell you more. I broke a promise to you not being here after Leo and Coral left, and I took selfish advantage of your patience and trust. I just...<i>couldn't</i>. I was about to shatter dealing with what I found. There were times I nearly went into fits I was so overwhelmed. There was not enough left of me to text you or try to explain, as simple as it might sound to do. It took me this long to start to process it properly and get a hold on what I want and what I feel. So, I am seriously sorry. I hope you can forgive me at some point."<br />
<br />
A held breath painfully locking the bones in my jaw slowly released. Pieter did something of the same, and he waited a moment as my lips uselessly opened and closed searching for what language was.<br />
<br />
"But we've both had a miserable time of it lately. You're at your limit. I'm at mine. I think we've each said enough of our piece to let it settle. Is it okay if we sleep on everything and talk when we both don't feel like we're going to pass out?" Pieter asked.<br />
"That's the best for right now, yes," I agreed.<br />
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Pieter gave me a relieved little smile. I gave a tiny one back.<br />
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He seemed to wish to stay outside, so I was the one to go inside the warehouse. Everyone save Larkspur and Fennel who were too young and oblivious burdened me with stares signaling desperate curiosity for answers, but naturally no one was daft enough to press the issue. Everyone let Pieter and I be, although I did hear Jessamine briefly talk with Pieter checking if he would be fine with patrolling now and again to ward off those encroaching our territory. Cinnamon, Ruby, and I played cards and chatted, me majorly listening, until the two conked out in their room. Fennel requested a bedtime story. She dozed off smoothly, but I...<br />
<br />
Sleep wasn't as possibility. My brain took on the task of ruminating on <i>everything</i>, and at some point the headache morphed into a defeated fuzz. I counted the bricks on the wall over and over. I traced my finger down their lines. It helped in that it congealed the mess in my head down to one something. My past, who I was, The Company, my future, Pieter...by the time the sun rose I'd come to a conclusion.<br />
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I forced myself to hold back like was my habit. I didn't put my decision into motion until after the morning started off normally. I bathed, changed, ate breakfast, and chatted with most like nothing was out of the ordinary. Pieter and I said good morning, but he needed more than the first light to be ready for the next talk. He'd have more time than he expected though to be ready. I almost got away with prepping everything in my bookbag and taking action without anyone pointing out the differences. While I'd delayed long enough for everyone else but Pieter, who volunteered to watch the place, to leave, I hadn't known Larkspur was only just puttering about outside. He instantly spotted the bag.<br />
<br />
"Why do you have that?" he wondered.<br />
<br />
Being who I was though, lying was all too simple.<br />
<br />
"I'm babysitting the Castor kids today. I promised I'd take them on a hike on the nature walk by their house next time I came over, so I have snacks, water, first aid, and stuff like that in here," I explained.<br />
"Ohhh. Can I come?"<br />
"Sorry, Lark. You know that complicates the story. You and I can go on a hike together later though, okay?"<br />
"Promise?"<br />
"Promise."<br />
<br />
That part wasn't a lie...as long as things didn't go wrong.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAvXvZCC61kKe20SAO7pJLPxY4JgDShUHqugh_xSP7EwD58yMdDGtatkWtrnYAcsHr4-8hN4ikxDbovDbgAIOfe06mw5czrvbwufA3E7yV1XeVpKcmB0Vul8WB4QW4nDLCVmPEpp5QoeKi/s1600/20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1360" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAvXvZCC61kKe20SAO7pJLPxY4JgDShUHqugh_xSP7EwD58yMdDGtatkWtrnYAcsHr4-8hN4ikxDbovDbgAIOfe06mw5czrvbwufA3E7yV1XeVpKcmB0Vul8WB4QW4nDLCVmPEpp5QoeKi/s1600/20.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I got to leave without Larkspur asking more questions or being suspicious of anything. More importantly, I went down each sidewalk and path bringing me farther from where I wanted to be and closer to where I needed to be with my head set straight ahead and my determination not wavering. If there was a point where I'd turn back, reaching the bridge Mr. Flaxen drove me over on our arrival to Aspen Harbor would have been it. However, I barely paid it any attention. The massive green beams were behind me in fifteen seconds, and I just kept going.</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-31646694272592046962020-04-06T12:01:00.005-04:002020-04-06T12:02:59.948-04:00Quick Update 4/6/20<div style="text-align: justify;">
I wanted to make sure I got this up before it got too late after coming to a decision for this week. Obviously, everyone's aware of what's going on in the world, so I won't talk in depth on it. I'll just state I'm going to be asking for one more week for the next chapter. My state and place of business was quick to shut everything down as soon as 3 cases crept over our border, so we're days away from it being a month for me since I've been self-quarantining. I'm in a pretty good place: being paid my normal paycheck, living with a few family members, being a pretty insular person to begin with and not minding the quiet, and really not having to worry about too much. It really is just the slog of the cabin fever settling in over the past month. There's been plenty of time to write, but a block has popped up where nothing's coming out. Part of that is the pressure of having a chapter out by a certain time. I can put it out a day or two late, sure, yet that exacerbates the issue by forcing me to sit in my room even longer struggling harder. Then it leads to me being behind on getting in-game, taking more pictures, planning, and having to hunker down in my room more to try to get back on schedule. Just giving myself the extra week gets rid of a lot of that. My apologies for any disappointment.</div>
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In hopes of giving you all a little something, I'm going to link what I've watched over the years on YouTube to keep myself entertained in case you might find them interesting too.</div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><b>Nicob's Let's Play of "Fire Emblem: Three Houses"</b>:</span><br />
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<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/C5ZXqThErwk" width="560"></iframe><br />
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They're long videos, but once Nico gets into the story they're just a joy to watch. They're also good for background noise while doing another task, like strip-mining in Minecraft like I did ๐คญ<br />
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<b>MiraRae's Royal Family Series</b>:<br />
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Season One<br />
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<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/aE2d6B-Klzg" width="560"></iframe><br />
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Season Two<br />
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<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/MNVCGZAvAZU" width="560"></iframe><br />
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<b>Buzzfeed Multiplayer's Kelsey Impicciche's 100 Baby Challenge</b>:<br />
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<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2svi_xw_Q7I" width="560"></iframe><br />
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<b>Dr. Hope's Sick Notes Reacts to "Cells at Work"</b>:<br />
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<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pnvgQCavmkM" width="560"></iframe><br />
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<b>Any of GrayStillPlays's Sims videos (any of his videos, really)</b>:<br />
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<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/e5b1fCxWXj8" width="560"></iframe>iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-44805236505201668512020-03-30T14:13:00.002-04:002020-03-30T14:13:20.117-04:00Gen Four- Chapter Twenty Two<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Cinnamon teased me and called me a guard dog. It was true I pace the balcony and back hallway incessantly staring out all the windows, but my actions were definitely that of a dog panicked by separation anxiety than one gallantly manning the perimeter. She did, of course, agree that Pieter's sudden silence and lack of his presence proved worrying. He had stayed out for a night here and there in the past. That was obviously him staying at his dad's. But to go into a third day with no communication? I paced a bit faster.</div>
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"Cinnamon, c'mon, we've got a great breakfast. Tulip and I worked hard on these omelettes, and I know you love them. They're even still somewhat warm. You don't want to miss that opportunity, do you?"</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
Jessamine had been trying to get me to eat for fifteen minutes. This time she brought the food directly in front of me. The part of my body that didn't care about my mental state and only worked to continue my functions of living sent out itching calls to shove that whole thing in my mouth.</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
"It's okay. I'd rather wait here," I denied.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"It's not going to make a difference. What will happen will happen. You'll be better prepared, even for things like giving Pieter a slap on the head when he gets back, if you've got energy in you."</div>
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"I..."</div>
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"Come."</div>
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Jessamine took my hand with an iron grip.</div>
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Not having a choice, I dutifully followed instead of protesting and tripping over my own feet since Jessamine wouldn't go easy on me like that. She would toss me over her shoulder to take my downstairs that way if it were possible. I sat in the chair she pulled out for me, and I took the fork she provided. The others who were still eating were upstairs, so this area was quiet and good for talking.<br />
<br />
"Tell me what exactly led up to this. You said he was looking stuff up. What was he looking up?" Jessamine prompted after making sure I took several good bites.<br />
"That's the thing<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> that's all I know! Pieter said there was something he wanted to find out. That what we had talked about 'the other day' made him really curious about that something. It was something he needed for himself. Then he talked about how he needed to pay for a small subscription to get access to the information. Considering how minimal the payment sounded like, the information Pieter wanted could hardly be that crucial."<br />
"What was it you talked about the other day?"<br />
"We talk <i>everyday</i> about many things. I have no clue what conversation he meant, and at the time it wasn't a matter that I felt was imperative to press," I pouted.<br />
"Well, what about when he left?"<br />
"He looked depressed, to be honest. Something he found clearly didn't sit right with him. Considering he only wanted the information to begin with, it should have been the end of it there. Now it sounds like he's actually acting on the knowledge."<br />
"You know that secret safe space he goes to from time to time. Have you tried checking there?"<br />
"That was part of my plan," I sighed. "Pieter did ask me to trust him though. I'm trying to give it a little more time before I go full paranoid."<br />
"I see. Seems like there really is little to be done other than wait. Let me know if there is something though," Jessamine encouraged.<br />
"Yeah..."<br />
"Now, keep eating, young lady."<br />
"Yes, new Mom," I smiled lightly.<br />
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I wanted to bolt to Pieter's house as soon as I was done with my food. Unfortunately, there were things to be done. Fennel and I were doing a dog-walking job together and then Tulip asked me to run a load of laundry at the laundromat. An abrupt babysitting request with an extra thirty dollars bonus popped up I couldn't deny. It took me too long to find a good pair of new shoes as many of my pairs were worn. Only around lunch did a spare moment present me an opportunity. Still, I held off on taking it for as long as possible.<br />
<br />
Swimming offered the best distraction. I shoved on my swimsuit, hopped the fence, adjusted to the water's temperature by sitting on the rocky shoal, relaxed as the gently lapping waves massaged me, and finally took to the deeper water. Long accustomed to the sting of salt water, I zipped this way and that recalling the old days. How much faster I'd been able to go even with shorter limbs. How much longer I could hold my breath. How much more confident I'd felt. Exhausted in a time embarrassing to my ten-year-old self, I floated on my back for a break and stared. I was surprised how much this of all things helped. In truth, it reminded me of a comforting feeling that came when I saw the stars. I was insignificant in the grand scheme of things. There I floated, a tiny speck. The sky dominated the world as far as could be seen. The mountains loomed as monsters of rock even though they were miles and miles away. I could spot the light of the arena and the fringes of the skyscrapers. I was simply one of many, and this known realization made my problems shrink as well.<br />
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<br />
Of course, in the end, my feet did take me to Pieter's house. I stealthily scouted the house from the outside first. I checked the apple tree, the little cliff, and peeked in all the windows. The lights were on, but no one was to be seen. For the first time in a long time, nerves rattled my chest upon opening the front door. I'd been silly. Pieter was being rude and thoughtless not giving me one simple text to know how he was doing, but I was overthinking things way past what I should. He was just going to be upstairs on the computer mulling over and processing whatever caused his somber state. The nerves relaxed as I went upstairs and heard noises in the office.<br />
<br />
"Oh."<br />
<br />
Then I opened the door. Mr. Clay was the one who sat at the desk, and as opposed to my blank expression he offered a smile.<br />
<br />
"Cinnamon, how can I help you today? Did you want the computer? I'm done with it. Just turned it off."<br />
"N-No, that's okay. I came here to look for Pieter."<br />
"Pieter?" Mr. Clay frowned now, and his confusion tossed those nerves right back to bursting.<br />
"He said he was going to stay here yesterday night. He didn't come back this past night though, and he hasn't texted me."<br />
"Pieter was here the other night. He kept to himself like usual. He left yesterday morning with a backpack of things<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> I assumed to take to the warehouse. But, if he didn't go there..." Mr. Clay contemplated. "He did look rather down."<br />
"Oh! It has something to do with that information he was looking up. He used your card, right? Can you pull up your bank account online and see what it was he paid for?"<br />
<br />
Mr. Clay turned the computer back on, and the wait to get into his account was double what the wait had been trying to find the satellite image of my house. My shoulders dropped when the information finally loaded.<br />
<br />
"Two one-time payments to two different White Pages websites?" I scoffed. "That would have to mean he was looking up someone's address. Does it tell you who?"<br />
"No. I would have to log in to these websites, and it's Pieter who made the accounts." Mr. Clay patted my shoulder when my back bent lower. "You're worried, and I'm glad you care for him so greatly. He's acting strangely for even how he's been since he's stopped staying here. However, if there's anything I've learned over the years it's that Pieter's smart. He knows how to take care of himself, how to stay out of trouble, and how to get by in the harsher parts of reality. I suspect his lack of contact is more from knowing you'll be mad that he took off than from an inability to do so."<br />
"That would be the better option, but I still don't like it any better. If he comes back or contacts you, can you contact me?"<br />
"I promise."<br />
<br />
I wrote down the number for my phone, and I left unsure if I felt any better or not.<br />
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<br />
At least I had nothing else to do for the afternoon. The fact that Pieter packed up a backpack suggested he wasn't going to be nearby, yet I took to the streets regardless. I checked all the locations we frequented. I even ran up to the area in the foothills where I'd planned to build my shelter, for I'd shown Pieter it once. He wasn't anywhere. Then I simply wandered. Wandered with the hope the random walking might bring me face to face with my quarry. While I understood the chance was low, movement felt better than stillness. I could pretend my efforts meant something.<br />
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<br />
My heart stopped when my phone buzzed. My whole body froze as my stomach dropped when the screen flashed Pieter's name. I held it tightly in my hand waiting for the vibrations to continue, but the brief sensation meant all I received was a text. It took a deep breath to unlock the screen.<br />
<br />
"Sorry for the silence. Bad reception or no battery. I'll be gone. Trust me. Sorry."<br />
<br />
Fire centered in my stomach combated the heat. It cycloned with relief, anger, and more worry. What kind of message was that? Clearly, Mr. Clay was right. He'll be gone? What kind of explanation was that? Asking to be trusted was his excuse for how his drastic behavior was reasonable? I texted back immediately. If I had just gotten this, there was no reason for why Pieter shouldn't do the same. So I rushed typing my firm request to get more of an idea of where he was and what he was doing, stating he didn't have to tell me why if he didn't want to. All I needed was confirmation he was safe and perhaps an idea of when he'd return. A minute passed with me staring unblinking at the screen. My message got the 'read' check next to it. Pieter had to be typing. To give me the full answer I wanted would need a bit more time to write.<br />
<br />
Sadly, it didn't come. Five minutes of standing like an idiot glued to my phone in the middle of the sidewalk got me nothing but dashed hopes. The phone did buzz once more, but it was Tulip inviting me to a movie.<br />
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<br />
No new messages came by the time I walked to the theater. Tulip coming into sight got me outside of the ball of emotions tightening my jaw and clenching my nails painfully into the palms. I was surprised I hadn't stomped indents into the sidewalk behind me.<br />
<br />
"I'll take it by that expression Pieter remains MIA?" Tulip smiled sympathetically.<br />
"I actually just got a text from him, but it does little other than make me more upset." I held up the phone for her to read.<br />
"That is indeed an awful response to the worry he's caused. At least it does help answer that his departure is one of choice and not because something went wrong."<br />
"He could at least tell me when he plans to be back," I mumbled.<br />
"He could," Tulip agreed. "Anyway, turning your phone off during the movie will help you get your mind off the matter. Pieter might respond by the time we get out. C'mon. I'll get everything tonight. My treat."<br />
"It's okay. I have plenty. Thanks though," I declined.<br />
<br />
My mind went back to my conversation with Cinnamon and how Tulip's previously endless supply of money would soon trickle to a stop.<br />
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<br />
The movie helped more than expected. It had an interesting premise. The characters were set in a post-apocalyptic world, but it focused less on the dark and gritty and more about how people were more likely to stick together and work together as they focused on creating a system that recreated the lost memories of the world that explained how the world got to be in the state it was in the first place. Tulip and I discussed it the whole way back to the warehouse while munching on the refill of the big popcorn bucket we got in the last twenty minutes of the film. It took me until after I changed into my pajamas to do some studying that the itch came to turn my phone back on. I waited, hoped a little, and turned my phone off again to preserve battery when no text waited.<br />
<br />
The following morning I woke with a gurgle in my stomach, an ache all over, and a burning pound in my head. The greasy burps were likely because of the popcorn<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> I always got a stomachache when eating too much of it. The rest, however, that was clearly from something more problematic.<br />
<br />
"You okay, Cinnamon? You don't look very good," Fennel said as I sat there rubbing my head.<br />
"No. I've come down with something. Geez, there was some stuff I really wanted to do today, but oh well. Will you mind telling the others I'll be staying here today, so everyone else can go out? I'm going to take some medicine and get a little more sleep before the place empties."<br />
"Sure. Do you want me to stay with you?<br />
"That's okay," I smiled. "It's a sweet offer, but I know you and Lark had your own plans for today."<br />
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<br />
Fennel hesitated, but I gave her a tickle and she ran out. Fennel loved tickles for the first few seconds yet couldn't stand them after that. I rest my back against the wall working up the strength to stand and pop into the large room. Blessedly, Fennel must have met Jessamine quickly in the hall, for Jessamine appeared with the pill I needed and a big glass of water. I guzzled both, tried a new technique of contacting Pieter by simply letting him know I was sick and asking for a joke to cheer me up, and returned to sleep. Being sick while being the one watching the warehouse was difficult. For one, you had to actually watch the warehouse. That proved challenging while sleeping. The routine was to move from area to area every so often and walk the perimeter from time to time to check for anything off. I borrowed the wind-up alarm kept in the large room to get me up and moving from my quick naps I snuck. I was in the process of lounging in my bed after one lazily letting my mind drift when a loud clatter from downstairs jolted my heart to racing.<br />
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<br />
Not too much of a problem, I calmed the panic whispering the worst. Everyone at the warehouse came and went whenever during the day. Larkspur or Fennel had simply returned and tripped over something. Slowly cracking open the door, I peeked my head out and listened further. It also could have been a small animal like a squirrel or raccoon. Honestly, it could have been nothing living at all. The echo of the noise made it difficult to tell where the impact happened. A small piece of the building falling off had happened before.<br />
<br />
"Wow, look at this," a man's voice mockingly appreciated the desks and chairs. "They've got their own little classroom. How quaint."<br />
"It almost makes you feel bad for the little brats."<br />
"They'll get over it. They've been sitting on prime state for too long. You're sure that orange bastard is out of the picture?"<br />
"Yeah. I've been keeping an eye on the movements in and out of this place for a while. Him and that other chick have become a no-show."<br />
"Great." The first man kicked over the blue plastic chair with glee. "It's quiet, but I wonder if someone is around."<br />
"How accommodating we are to them depends on how accommodating they are to us," the second man laughed.<br />
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<br />
They hadn't seen me yet. I was sure of that. There was no way for them to see me from the angle I was at. Although, they might have spotted me walking around earlier if they'd been monitoring the building earlier before crashing the place. With a heart having no excuse not to race now, my muscles provoked by fear allowed me to silently shift the heavy dresser in front of the bedroom door. It was my one defense. I had nothing that could work for a weapon, and the drop out the window to the ground floor offered nothing in the way of climbable features. My fingers fumbled with getting my cell phone turned on.<br />
<br />
I'd never realized just how crucial Leo's presence had been to stopping things like this from happening. There'd been prostitutes, drug dealers, and the like who'd popped up from time to time wishing to stake the area as their own. Leo always had them run out before the night was done. Who could have ever expected these men and whoever they were connected to spying on us so effectively though. My mind rationalized what weak plans I could come up with. Maybe I could buy some time by offering use of one of the other buildings while I got Jessamine or Tulip to contact our allied officers so the officers could come claim the men for jail.<br />
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<br />
But...neither Jessamine or Tulip responded. The sounds of the men puttering about on the first floor, I think checking all the empty crates for anything good, reassured me enough to call both. Neither picked up after two attempts. Then I sent texts. Still nothing. I had two minutes, maybe three before the men came my way. I doubted the dresser wouldn't be enough to stop them. My shaking hands rubbed my face fighting back the numb tingling spreading quickly. I closed my eyes trying to find some comfort in the unknowing darkness wishing with all the effort I could muster for the men to just vanish. Tears crept out from my between my lashes.<br />
<br />
"<i>Relax</i>."<br />
<br />
My hand smacked into the dresser leaving a painful soreness across the bone. The voice. That voice was back. It swooped upon me like a sudden breeze.<br />
<br />
"W-What?" I called in a whisper, expecting nothing.<br />
"I<i>f you want the men gone, relax,</i>" the voice answer gently, although this did little for my sanity. "<i>Close your eyes, let the tension fade, and don't fight</i>."<br />
"I..."<br />
"<i>Relax.</i>"<br />
<br />
I glanced at my phone. Nothing from Jessamine. Nothing from Tulip. Not even a lame pun from Pieter. With nothing else to do and no other choice, I complied to that which had to be my imagination attempting to calm me. My lungs took a deep breath, I closed my eyes, and I ignored as best as possible the sounds of the men.<br />
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<br />
A sensation instantly claimed me. My breath shuddered as the heat in my body siphoned away to the open air, a mist morphing with a will of its own. That's what I envisioned at least. Spots of light pinpricked my blackened sight, my body going motionless. Energy crashed and bounced like a ball of electricity before crunching through my chest. My head swarmed. Consciousness reverberated with a dull echo until I was sure I wasn't conscious at all. I had to have passed out at some point, because I abruptly woke to find myself lying on my side in a cold sweat. Frightened cries filled downstairs. Curious and strangely unafraid, my legs pushed to standing, I slid the dresser to the side, and I stepped onto the balcony to see the most bizarre thing.<br />
<br />
"I-It was...! Why was it floating!?" the blue and purple man cried in panic.<br />
"I don't fucking know!" the other snapped with an anger spurred by pure horror. "Move! Fuck this place!"<br />
<br />
That was it. The two barreled out the unlocked door scrambling over one another, clawing at his companion when the other managed to get in front of him, and hurriedly dashing out of sight.<br />
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<br />
I stood, frozen. From shock instead of fear, but frozen nonetheless. Ringing rattled my head, bouncing back and forth from one side of the skull to another. It took the ringing disappearing before returning for me to realize it was actually my phone chiming with a call. I managed to get the second call coming through before it went to voicemail.<br />
<br />
"Cinnamon, is everything alright?" Tulip fretted. "I got your message. Some guys are in the warehouse? Are you in danger?"<br />
"I...not anymore. Um, two guys did come in. They've clearly had their sights on the area for a while and knew Leo wasn't around anymore. They made a bit of a mess going through the crates downstairs, but they didn't find me. Then..." How in the world did I explain this? "It's a little hard to describe. Confusing story short, I...scared them off. Can't imagine they'll be coming back."<br />
<br />
That was the best I could do.<br />
<br />
"You scared them off? How?"<br />
<br />
Damn it.<br />
<br />
"H-How about I'll tell you when you get back? Everything really is fine for now."<br />
"I'll come over right away. I'm just filling out job applications," Tulip said.<br />
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<br />
Her travel time should have given me plenty of minutes to come up with a reasonable explanation. Should have. However, the problem I faced was there no reasonable answer. Tulip arrived and stood before me long before I even began to process what happened, let alone rationalize it.<br />
<br />
"So, what's this confusing story?"<br />
"I think at this point I can't stick to what I said before," I accepted. "Tulip, I have no damn clue what happened. I didn't scare them off. I was hiding here with the dresser blocking the door when I passed out. Not too much time passed. As soon as I woke, I heard the two men freaking out. They were running out of the building scared out of their minds shouting 'fuck this place.'"<br />
"Oh. Hmm."<br />
<br />
Of course, Tulip had no idea how to respond.<br />
<br />
"And it did seem like they wouldn't be coming back?" She chose to go with that instead.<br />
"From what it seemed, yeah."<br />
"Well, I'll notify our police to patrol around here more often just to be safe. You said you passed out? It was likely because of a combination of your fever and the sudden stress. Although, you don't feel too hot now." Tulip felt my forehead.<br />
"Maybe the incident scared the cold out of me," I joked weakly.<br />
"I'm glad you're safe regardless. I'll stick around with you for the rest of the day, and I'll contact Leo later to see if he has any advice."<br />
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<br />
Tulip ordered me to continue resting while she went to clean up the mess downstairs. I complied and let out the biggest breath once sure she was out of earshot. That went better than expected. Tulip hadn't pressed me for more information like I expected. She might later though, and Jessamine would definitely request whatever small details might help explain the situation better. However, no way was I telling anyone other than Pieter about the voice.<br />
<br />
"Hello?" I spoke into the quiet. As reality should be, no disembodied voice responded. Frowning, I tried a different tactic. "A.I., power up. A.I., respond."<br />
<br />
I listened and waited and honestly hoped that would work. I'd get my explanation, and I'd realize I did have a cool little computer instead my head. Unfortunately, all that happened was my head pounded once more with an ache reminiscent of a heated poker repeatedly jabbed into my temples.<br />
<br />
"I'm done with this shit. I'm going back to bed," I grumbled, slinking under my covers.<br />
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<br />
The sleep made the worst of my symptoms vanish. The better help, however, was getting me off the hook from the questioning I expected. Tulip called Jessamine to let her know everything was fine so Jessamine didn't wake me with a panicked called. They sat me down after to try and get those smaller details, but me sniffling a little more than needed and constantly rubbing my head had them waving their hands and supposing they'd been spooked by a trick of the light. The matter passed. Two days later, I was back to full health.<br />
<br />
"Higher!" Fennel demanded.<br />
"Like this?" I cheered.<br />
<br />
When her swing came back, I jumped in the air as I caught it to pitch the seat forward with speed unrivaled. Fennel squealed gleefully as she rocketed into the sky, and I smoothly side-stepped to avoid her butt also rocketing backward from sending me flying myself. I gave Larkspur the same kind of push wishing I could be their size again.<br />
<br />
"This is so fun! My mom would never push me on the swing," Fennel said once we tired and the two's pace slowed significantly.<br />
"No?" I wondered.<br />
"We even had a swingset in the backyard, but she was still always too busy. She said my aunt is a 'slut', that she has babies with men to get money from them but then spends the money on things for her. Mom takes care of my cousins since she says otherwise my aunt will leave them with her junk friends. Junky friends? Something like that. But...she spent so much time taking care of my cousins she didn't have the time to take care of me. Dad had to work all the time to pay for everyone. I barely saw him," Fennel frowned. "I tried to help too! Vine was throwing a tantrum, so I picked her up to comfort her. She squirmed so much that I accidentally dropped her, and she got a bruise of her forehead. That was when Mom yelled that she was tired of me messing up and that she wished I would leave."<br />
"That wasn't right of her. It is a good thing she's trying to do taking care of your cousins, but it shouldn't come at the cost of neglecting her own child. I...will say though...if you ever feel like you want to go home, I think you should give her and your dad a second chance. I don't think she told you to leave because she meant it. I think she was just stressed and lashing out. You leaving might have given her the wake-up call she needed."<br />
"Maybe," Fennel contemplated slowly. "I don't want to go home yet though. I like being here with everyone better! I'm even getting good at making money!"<br />
"You are," I acknowledged.<br />
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<br />
The next day, Ruby was off her period and ready to enjoy her improved mood and lack of pain. She grabbed my arm with an unbreakable grip when I started to walk off to take another rambling walk in hopes of finding Pieter to lure me to the beach instead.<br />
<br />
"Just think about it, the longer he's gone the more recompense you can demand. The boy has enough money to buy you ti nicest of dinners for months."<br />
"<i>If</i> he comes back."<br />
"He will."<br />
"I don't know at this point!" I tossed one of the rocks Ruby and I collected in a pile at our feet to skip upon the weak waves like we were now. I envisioned the water as Pieter's face, and the rock bounced seven times<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> a new record. "He's ignored whatever I text him, and he hasn't sent me anything since that first text. Honestly, part of me is tempted to tell him if he doesn't at least update me every now and again that I'll dump him."<br />
"But you don't want to dump him," Ruby noted.<br />
"I know! Which is why I know he'll see through the bluff too and not say anything still, making the whole thing pointless."<br />
"Ohhh, maybe I should dress up as a boy. Someone new at the warehouse. You can send him a picture of us getting all cozy warning he's on thin ice. Acting as he has further will have you moving on."<br />
I laughed. "That's a fun idea, but we could never pull that off. You're too much of a girl, Ruby."<br />
"That's true." Ruby glanced down at her chest. "To flatten these that much would crush my heart and lungs."<br />
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<br />
As with spending time with Tulip, hanging out with Ruby made me temporarily forget about my wayward boyfriend. I'm sure that was why Ruby and Cinnamon made it their goal to distract me as much as possible from then on. The three of us did something fun each afternoon. It truly made it feel like we were just normal teenage girl enjoying our summer vacation. Unfortunately, even they couldn't stop me from wallowing. Knowing Pieter wasn't simply hiding out at his house meant there was no reason why I couldn't be there now. I went to do my normal things like studying, preparing my lessons, taking nice showers, and opening up Mr. Clay. I also stayed much longer doing things like watching television and movies, cleaning the house, and otherwise lingering to raise my chances of being the first thing Pieter would see should he decide to come home.<br />
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<br />
The first week passed into the second week. The second week became the third. The month was almost at its end, and summer vacation was beginning to dwindle. The hurried pace I used to walk the sidewalks with slowed to a drained shuffle as my whole world became a fuzzy dream where even with the worst or best of things happening you could hardly move despite all your effort. I woke, I worked, I walked, I played, and I slept. The process repeated in a cycle not even worthy of remembrance. Nothing stuck until the day Leo and Coral sent Jessamine an email with pictures of Coral's baby bump and the ultrasound revealing the baby's sex. They refused to say which it was though, and certainly none of us could tell the difference in the blobby picture. Time was moving swiftly for them. They were walking their path away from us, and the gnawing loneliness of their absence I'd shoved to the side for the sake of everything else going on hit me as I found I had only energy enough to sit on those swings I pushed Larkspur and Fennel on wishing harder to go back to being a child. I'd repeat the years if it meant my dumb boyfriend would be sitting next to me. For now, all I had was a near month-old text and a broken promise to be with me as the painful feelings in me now had nowhere to go but around and around until I forgot what it was like not to have them at all...</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-7170424244174148822020-03-23T18:02:00.000-04:002020-03-23T18:02:38.171-04:00Gen Four- Chapter Twenty One<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
I was out of my realm of expertise here. My skills in the creative arts were passable at best. I more preferred and was better at things like math and science. The logical stuff. Coral wished to come to the art museum though, so here we were. Appreciating something that looked interesting or beautiful was the hard part, but Coral tried to be more analytical, which had me shrugging my shoulders.</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
"The vibrant lights definitely make the statues take on a weird appearance. When the beams rotate to being off, the stone is shaped to look smoother and more natural. The presence of the lights then changes them to be more...artificial, I guess? Almost like they're projections." I tried.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Oh, maybe you're onto something. It could be a statement to how you can't take in the world at face value. That things aren't simply skin-deep. The colored lights show the superficial, highlight the easy to see. It's when that mindset fades away that you can see the details, see the statues for what they really are."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Um, sure. Yeah, that sounds like good reasoning to me."</div>
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Coral nodded firmly but moved closer, studying the piece hard.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Or maybe..."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
I smiled and took a step back, letting her ponder all she wished.</div>
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<br />
The bright colors entertained me in their own way. Shifting the angles at which I stared blended the hues into new ones. A veritable rainbow could be seen depending on how much one was willing to crane his or her neck. Thankfully, I relaxed my more muscles aching from strain right before Coral turned around and could wonder what in the world I was doing. We moved to the other end of the gallery chit-chatting on more normal topics.<br />
<br />
"It's already getting later into the afternoon, isn't it? We have the day, but at the same time these hours are swiftly running out," Coral noted.<br />
"Only two days until you and Leo leave. Time <i>is</i> going fast."<br />
"I'm trying not to be sad, but it's hard." Coral ran her finger along the glass rim of the fence. "Which means it's the best moment to talk of something more cheerful. Leo and I decided, before we leave, we want to get baby name suggestions from everyone."<br />
"Are you sure that's wise?" I chuckled.<br />
"We have the final say, of course. We just want to see if there's any creative ideas we might not come up with on our own."<br />
"Both you and Leo's lines have been otherwise Solid, right?"<br />
"Right."<br />
"So the baby will be red, orange, or, most likely, a mixture of both. Hmm. Carnelian can be red, orange, or reddish-orange. It's not a highly unique name though. What about...oh!"<br />
"Oh?"<br />
"You can do like Pieter's parents did. There's Morganite. I read about it once. It's a variety of beryl that usually looks pink, but it can also be orange."<br />
"'Morgan' would be the name? That's certainly uncommon, but I like it. Thanks, Cinnamon. I knew I'd get a good, reasonable answer out of you."<br />
"I can't wait to hear the other ideas."<br />
"I'm both curious and hesitant," Coral giggled.<br />
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<br />
She then gave me a look I found curious.<br />
<br />
"Since I don't have many good chances left, I hope you don't mind if I prod your story a little more. Do you know about your name? Where it came from?"<br />
"Ah, that..." I couldn't say I knew anymore. Grandpa and Dad had told me, but who knew how truthful the explanation actually was. "My mom picked my name before she passed. She was a twin with both her and her sister being named after flowers. Their mom, my grandmother, was also a twin with both of them being named after flowers. Since Mom couldn't recall a brown flower, she picked what she thought was cute."<br />
"I'm pretty sure there actually are brown variations of a lot of flowers. I believe I read about them in this old gardening book Grandmom had, although I don't remember the varieties off the top of my head. It's a little bit of a shame you weren't born with a twin sister too. The tradition could have continued."<br />
"Mm," I mumbled. The inside of my chest tightening like stone wouldn't permit more speech. Thankfully, Coral continued before she noticed anything off.<br />
"So you mom has a twin sister. Do you know a lot more about her family?"<br />
"I...I know enough to know who everyone is, and stuff like the fact that my Aunt Gilly passed away before I was born. My mom's family is quite big."<br />
"I'm sorry. I didn't know she'd died." Coral placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.<br />
"It's fine. It's not like I know any of them."<br />
"You've implied they didn't want you because of what your father did to your mother, but...it seems like from that very statement there that perhaps they didn't get much of a chance. You've got your plans with Pieter. However, have you contemplated contacting your relatives?"<br />
<br />
The tightening of my chest spread to consume my whole body. I quickly turned my head away from my companion and glued my lips together. Coral's hand simply squeezed a little tighter.<br />
<br />
"It's just a thought. You know I wouldn't push anything. I suppose now that I'm a mother-to-be, already feeling such love for this child, even in darker circumstances I can't imagine turning any hatred towards it. Your mother, your family...I'd like to believe they feel the same."<br />
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<br />
When I still didn't answer, Coral let the issue drop entirely. She gave me a hug, asked if I was alright, and treated me to ice cream from a nearby shop. I perked up to purposefully toss the matter aside. Our time eventually concluded from there. In the end, walking away from Coral once we reached the warehouse was difficult to do. She and Leo were were finding moments to spend with each of us alone before their big goodbye. It didn't feel real despite the looming departure.<br />
<br />
"Have you ever thought about baby names?"<br />
<br />
Pieter coughed into his hamburger. He'd come up with the idea to have a nice picnic-date by a lake way out in Aspen Harbor's fringes.<br />
<br />
"Uh, where is that question coming from?"<br />
"Coral is going around asking for suggestions for her and Leo's baby before they leave."<br />
"Oh. You wanted to know if I'd heard and what I suggested."<br />
"No," I smirked. "It got me thinking about you and me and if in your grand plan for us you'd thought about a family. That includes any names you've found to like over the years."<br />
"The idea of having a family has briefly flashed through my mind once or twice, but it's hardly been more than that. We're fifteen. Kids would be nice, yet name contemplation has been too direct for me to go over. You?" Pieter wondered with a light blush.<br />
"I don't have that burning, maternal fire screaming at me I need to have children or else my life is incomplete, but I don't rebuke the idea of having some either. I'd be good with a person who doesn't want any, and I'd be good with a person who does want some. And since you do want some, again, that's a point I'll envision for the future too. Names...well, the children will have a lot of brown. You've also got some green and gray in you. I've got pink, red, green, and purple. Apparently, a number of my relatives have albinism too."<br />
"Really?" Pieter wondered, amazed.<br />
"Yup. Dad didn't talk about them much though. I don't think I even know all of their names."<br />
"Hmm. Anyway, names<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> I didn't know you had so many colors hiding in you. It's amazing you're Solid," he laughed. "That's so many options, and I honestly don't even feel the need to match a name to the color. As long as we like it."<br />
"Sounds good to me," I beamed.<br />
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<br />
My stomach began to ache after a fourth hot dog, a third cookie, and yet another handful of chips. I sucked down a good gulp of orange juice hoping it would help to mush it up faster, and I cuddled eagerly upon Pieter when he stretched out on the sun-warmed planks of the dock.<br />
<br />
"You made some really good apple fritters. I could eat those all day," he said.<br />
"Thanks. It was the first time I got to use the apples that grew from the tree your dad got."<br />
"I..." Pieter paused, frowned lightly, sighed, and continued normally. "He was right. Those apples are still my favorite. It is kind of nice to have our own tree of them. The fact that there's too much shade and rock around our house to prevent us from planting more is annoying."<br />
<br />
Delighted warmth danced from my heart. Pieter had so far stuck true to his word to try to give his dad a chance. He was more willing to chat with me about his house and dad, and he'd even stayed over on his own for two nights. I smiled wide and happily kissed his cheek. There remained a road of progress stretching out of sight for both of them, but they were at least moving now instead of standing motionless as before.<br />
<br />
"We should plan to do something fun soon," I decided, gently running my fingertips along the lines of Pieter's shirt.<br />
"This isn't fun for you?" Pieter asked jokingly.<br />
"This is lovely. I mean that it's going to be sad for a while with Leo and Coral gone. Everyone who's come and gone over the years I've liked, but they haven't meant much. It hasn't been since Jam took off that a departure has made a hole. Now it's our whole foundation taking off."<br />
"We'll find lots of fun things to cheer you up. Promise." Pieter kissed the top of my head.<br />
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<br />
Cuddling him closer, I soaked up the security of his presence and warmth. The latter I had to try harder with considering the sun beat upon us relentlessly. We were in summer's full wrath now, and I was going to need a break from the heat sooner rather than later. Perhaps Pieter wouldn't mind us stopping at his house to cool down in the air conditioning. I'd ask that in a bit though. He and I lay content in the silence. The moments passed effortlessly.<br />
<br />
But, I didn't realize, only for me.<br />
<br />
"Okay, I'm going to need you to stop that." Pieter grinned as he caught my hand still wandering over his chest to keep it prisoner.<br />
"Sorry. It doesn't feel good?" I wondered, perplexed.<br />
"It feels <i>too</i> good is the problem," he smirked.<br />
"Oh." I fought back giggles. "I wasn't thinking like that."<br />
"You never seem to, and part of me envies you for that."<br />
"I really just...don't. Are the thoughts that bad of a distraction?"<br />
"Have you seriously never gotten so turned on or been that curious that you'd have to ask that?" Pieter questioned with amused amazement.<br />
"No?" I shrugged as much as I could from my position. "Is it that unbelievable? We are only fifteen. Those kind of matters should only just be beginning, right?"<br />
"I guess it's different for everyone, but these 'matters' didn't trickle in slowly for me. They came in with the full force of a speeding truck."<br />
"I've never been of the mindset that I need to wait until marriage, if that helps."<br />
"No, it doesn't!" Pieter sat up, truly laughing loud now. "It makes it worse! That just steals away one of my excuses to cool myself down."<br />
"My bad. Apple fritter?" I reached into the basket.<br />
"That does help." Pieter took the treat.<br />
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<br />
While tempted to keep teasing Pieter, I restrained myself from prompting the topic. We relaxed, chatted, dipped our feet into the water, took a little walk, and finished off most of the contents of the basket. Pieter was determined to not leave a crumb, but a nasty, gurgling burp bursting from his throat warned of what waited should he continue. We did end up stopping by his house to cool off and for some preemptive antacids. Mr. Clay got home from work right as we were leaving. I managed to get father and son to say several words to one another before Pieter and I returned to the warehouse. Neither of us left the next day. These truly were the final moments. Leo and Coral rushed all around packing, preparing, and setting us up to the best status we could be at once they left.<br />
<br />
"It's been a long while, hasn't it?" I mused, helping Leo clean what would now be Jessamine and Tulip's room. "I can still remember waking up in this bed with you standing over me."<br />
"I remember it." Leo nodded. "You never know how your day will go. It's normal, and then all of a sudden you have an unconscious little girl looking to be on the verge of death you suddenly have to scramble to fix."<br />
"Did I look that bad?"<br />
"To someone to has the mere basic medical knowledge like most of the general population, yes. I very nearly yelled at Jess and Pieter wondering what in the world they were doing bringing you here when you needed to go to a hospital instead. You probably still should have, but Coral with her better knowledge confided she was confident in taking care of you."<br />
"I'm glad she felt that way, and I'm glad you took the risk on me."<br />
<br />
Leo, who'd never been one for overt sentiment, stopped working momentarily to give me a soft smile.<br />
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<br />
He finished making the bed, and I grabbed a broom to sweep. There wasn't much to do past that aside from wiping down the surfaces with a sanitizing cloth. Leo and I were left there quietly admiring and checking our work while wondering what to say to one another to take advantage of perhaps the last time we'd get to talk in private.<br />
<br />
"I've always wanted to ask..." I began, uncertain.<br />
"Yeah?"<br />
<br />
The pull the bring out the question was the worth, for I feared my words as much as I wished to let them out. I did recall those beginning days here with perfect clarity. That included what Pieter told me. How Leo and Coral kept up with the news, and how they might have known who I really was the whole time. Nothing over the years hinted with any weight that they did, but the two were exceptional liars when they needed to be. It should be that even if they didn't known, that hadn't been able to trust them enough to tell them at the beginning that I should be able to talk about it now. However, worry after worry assaulted my thoughts. Every extra person that knew was another risk. The two might accidentally give it away. The might push me towards Mom's family, even with Coral's reassurance she wouldn't.<br />
<br />
"Ah, but I'd better not," I decided. "Sorry."<br />
Leo shook his head. "I'm not insulted you have reasons for holding it back. I just hope if it's something that's burdening you, if it's something that's hurting you by keeping it inside that you can find someone to give you whatever answer you wish."<br />
"Thanks, Leo." I pulled him into a big embrace he reciprocated. "You're the best foster dad, brother, whatever, I could have asked for."<br />
"I'm mildly fond of you too," he joked in his own Leo way, hugging tighter and patting my back.<br />
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<br />
The day ended with a weird atmosphere. The mood proved generally cheerful with everyone wanting the remaining hours to be full of good memories. Yet, at the same time, the air tinged with somberness as we all knew the goodness was a mere band-aid. The latter wasn't helped by the fact that Leo and Coral were spending their last night at their apartment. Coral needed the proper bathroom for her occasional bouts of morning sickness, but the two still had to finalizing their moving out of there. I went to bed telling myself to forget how different everything would feel after tomorrow in order to get myself to sleep at all. Rest did come, but a hand on my arm woke me up at midnight.<br />
<br />
"Cinnamon?" Fennel sniffled by my side.<br />
"Fen? What is it?" I reached to turn the light on.<br />
"I'm feeling sad. I don't want Leo and Coral to leave. Can I stay in your bed with you?"<br />
"I don't know. The beds aren't that big, so it'll probably be uncomfortable. Why don't I just cuddle with you on yours until you fall back asleep?"<br />
"Please? I promise I won't move much, and I'll take up as little space as possible," Fennel pleaded.<br />
"Oh, alright. Just for tonight," I relented.<br />
<br />
Fennel smiled through her tears, and I had her climb to be on the right side against the wall. That way I was more easily able to curl myself around her and optimally use the space we did have.<br />
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<br />
The moment that been perpetually coming but never seemed to want to arrive did arrive. Leo and Coral were kept at their apartment most of the morning, and by the time they made it to the warehouse we all realized there wasn't a reason for them to linger long besides saying their farewell to what they'd been for us. Most everyone cried a bit. Even Pieter teared up some. The only ones who didn't were Jessamine and Leo.<br />
<br />
"Just remember, this is hardly a real goodbye," Leo encouraged when we gathered around their car. "We'll be checking in often with Tulip and Jess, especially in these first few weeks. We won't be able to visit easily at first with the baby, but you can bet we'll find the time to pop in now and again. If there's ever something you really need help with, let us known and we'll see what we can do to help."<br />
"Exactly. We're just moving. We're not leaving the family," Coral added.<br />
<br />
I smiled despite my wet eyes. When I joined, everyone said they called this group 'family' yet didn't actually qualify each other as something so close. However, over the years, us who stayed had become a family for real.<br />
<br />
"There's not anything left to say," Leo turned to Coral.<br />
"I guess it's one last round of hugs, and they we need to head off before it gets too hard."<br />
<br />
Instantly, half of the group attacked Leo and Coral in a massive hug. I let the two adjust before adding my embrace along with everyone else. Leo and Coral eventually had to wriggle out of the mess of arms and escape to their car. My mood sank expecting them to come back out to continue joking around, but Leo turned it on, the two put on their seat belts, and Coral turned to wave farewell until the vehicle vanished from sight as they drove away.<br />
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<br />
We all fell silent at that point. Fennel cried loudly after a moment, but I remarked on how little my emotions changed. I knew it would take a while for the effect to sink in for me. The depth of Leo and Coral's stabilizing presence wouldn't be felt until the days passed. Tulip took charged ushering everyone inside saying Leo and Coral left behind a present of cookies from a quality bakery to brighten the mood after their departure. I ate my treat slowly and appreciatively.<br />
<br />
Then...I went about my way. I had a babysitting job that morning, and I taught class after I was done. No one aside from Pieter and Cinnamon paid much attention. Larkspur and Fennel, of course, were sad, but Ruby didn't appear distracted because of Leo and Coral. She was grimacing and over something else. I didn't press her after my classes were done. She didn't look to be in a talking mood. Ruby also bolted upstairs as soon as she could too. The others weren't long to stay either. Pieter had work, Cinnamon didn't say where she was going, and Larkspur and Fennel went to the beach to bring up their moods. I, on the other hand, lingered. There was something about standing alone in the silence that was comforting as much as it was bittersweet. I couldn't help but to let my head drift up and recall when I walked back proud after talking to Mr. and Mrs. Sun and found Leo waiting for me on the balcony.<br />
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<br />
I went to bed that night, found sleep easier than expected, got through the next day, went to bed again, and got past one more day. I woke up the same as usual, did my usual things, and struggled with nothing other than missing the two who weren't here. Unfortunately, the ache did grow as expected. My body physically burned waiting on edge for whenever Leo or Coral would walk through the door. I constantly forgot that they wouldn't, and recalling the fact hung my head low. Thus, I figured I should take Pieter up on what we talked about.<br />
<br />
"Cinnamon? Something up?" Pieter remarked.<br />
"Nothing in particular. I just gone done helping the Firs, and since I was nearby I figured I'd pick you up. I was thinking we could stop by that new frozen yogurt store and take a peek at that small fair going on in the suburbs."<br />
"Ah. Um..."<br />
"What?"<br />
"I appreciate that. Really. The thing is though...I, well, I got this idea for something I wanted to do. No, more accurately, something I wanted to find out. I was going to go to my dad's house to begin the research."<br />
"I could help you with that then. What are you trying to find out?"<br />
<br />
Pieter went silent. His mind clearly worked through the most polite way to reject me, and I didn't feel a need to make him suffer.<br />
<br />
"It's okay. I understand."<br />
"What we talked about the other day, it put this burning curiosity in my mind. It's not that I don't want you along, but this is something that I need for myself. Sorry."<br />
"I really do understand, Pieter. It's fine," I smiled. "We can at least walk together to your dad's house though, right?"<br />
"Yeah," Pieter jumped on my compromise hard. "Yeah, Of course."<br />
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<br />
Thankfully, the walk was fairly decent in length. Pieter rambled about the new plans Mr. Sun was making for his yard to include more flowers bees liked as he wished to get himself a hive. Pieter obviously filled the quiet air with chatter to prevent me from prodding more into his research, but I wasn't going to. At least I learned some things I would have never believed before. Bee renting was apparently a thing.<br />
<br />
I gathered Larkspur and Fennel up and took them to the park to be distracted that way. Fennel in particular enjoyed the time playing. She had problems blabbing too much of her situation or messing up our lies when left to her own devices. Leo sat her down and told her she wasn't allowed to go to the playgrounds alone unless she felt absolutely certain she could keep her tongue under control. To her credit, Fennel diligently avoided them and waited for when she had an escort.<br />
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<br />
It was us three who stopped at the frozen yogurt store. Jessamine, Tulip, and Cinnamon I knew would be out, so I got a spare cup for Ruby. It should have been Cinnamon's day to watch the warehouse, but Ruby had suddenly volunteered this morning to take on the extra shift. The reason for that and why she'd been wearing that grimace of hers got revealed when I found her on her bed. With Leo and Coral gone, there were more spaces than there were people.<br />
<br />
"Feeling sick?"<br />
<br />
Ruby was curled on her side frowning at the opposite wall.<br />
<br />
"My damn period is being a nightmare again," she grumbled. "I've been vomiting a lot from the pain, but at least I held it in until after you all left."<br />
"Ruby..." I rubbed her shoulder. "That's not good. Your last period had you out of comission too, and the one before that where you threw up at the art museum was harsh as well. Maybe we need to get you better medication."<br />
"Tulip bought me the strongest stuff she could, and I've taken the max doses I can. It still results in this. Honestly, I've been having cramps and pains even between periods too."<br />
"That's definitely not good. It sounds like something you need to see a doctor over."<br />
"I know. Unfortunately, that's not exactly an option for me right now though, huh? I'm hoping if I just give it a bit more it'll stabilize to how it used to be before."<br />
"Let me know if there's anything I can do. I'm going to assume you don't want this frozen yogurt I got for you."<br />
"Not in the slightest. I'd be spewing everywhere with one spoonful," Ruby laughed a little.<br />
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<br />
I gave the cup to Larkspur and Fennel, who downed it without hesitation. With their wiggles run out and their moods placated by the treats, they sat for me for an additional lesson. The new computer Mr. Clay bought seriously did make learning and planning much faster, which allowed me to put more space between I went over the information myself and when I had to accurately give it to others. Classes for the younger two were naturally easier though. Pieter was the first to return hours later.<br />
<br />
"How'd everything go?" I asked.<br />
"Good. I don't think it will take long to find what I'm looking for. The problem is all the records I want access are locked behind paywalls and subscriptions. Forking over the few dollars isn't the issue, but I don't have a card to put into their websites. I'm going to have to suck it up and ask Dad if he'll let me use his," Pieter sighed.<br />
"Aww." I ruffled his hair.<br />
"'Aww', what?"<br />
"You're going to ask your dad's permission to use his card. Before you would always just take it and use it for the pizza, delivery, or whatever food we wanted. That's a good improvement in my book."<br />
"It's not, really. I'm just not such a brat anymore. I've grown up," Pieter mumbled, embarrassed.<br />
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<br />
Cinnamon was the last to return that day, which struck me as odd. I didn't notice her arrival until well after dinner where a light flickering from downstairs lured me to her studying at the desk.<br />
<br />
"Hey," she greeted, glancing up briefly from her reading.<br />
"Busy day?"<br />
<br />
With a sigh, Cinnamon put the book down.<br />
<br />
"Yes. I've been at the library for most of the past few days. Tulip had a talk with me."<br />
"About?"<br />
"The changes that have happened, and the changes that need to happen. I've been so lucky never having to work with her taking care of my rent and things like that. She's still meeting up with those men, obviously<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> you know that. Tulip revealed, however, that's going to have to stop sooner rather than later. She and Jess are using their identities in real, legal contracts and stuff now. All the money then men give her, it's difficult to explain where it comes from on her taxes and things like that without someone eventually catching on to the situation. This isn't one of the states that allows stuff like prostitution and what Tulip's doing."<br />
"That's true. That's not something to have considered before," I recognized reluctantly.<br />
"So Tulip's trying to find a proper job."<br />
"But she didn't have a good education, and she doesn't even have a GED." I put together her line of thought following Cinnamon reading and talking about being at the library.<br />
"Exactly. Tulip's prodded me to be more engaged with my studying and focus on what'll help me in the future instead of being stuck like she is. I talked with Pieter to do study sessions with him over what you teach us, but that's just shown me how far I am behind him. Then he told me how he failed most of the tests that judge where we should be, and..."<br />
"It's disheartening, I know. I think even I would barely be able to pass those tests. This'll be good in the long run though. Leo and Coral's departure have gotten us to be more serious about this, I feel. You, me, Pieter, and Ruby, we'll study like there's no tomorrow and come out with flying colors," I encouraged.<br />
<br />
Cinnamon smiled brightly.<br />
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<br />
She and I studied a lot and talked more after that. Cinnamon revealed she wanted to started working to reduce the stress on Tulip, and I promised to recommend her to families I knew who needed babysitters. I simply didn't have the time to help everyone. Cinnamon went to bed with a less anxious mind, and I got a surge of determination to push harder still on my studies. That excitement and vigor I wished to share with Pieter, but...<br />
<br />
He worked all day. I worked all day. We'd both gotten cheap phones after my attack, and I'd saved up my minutes and texts. He'd done the same, so that's why I frowned every couples hours checking my phone and seeing he'd replied to none of my requests to hang out later in the afternoon. Pieter didn't return to the warehouse once free. I spent the majority of my hours puttering about, bored, not wanting to miss him. He was Cinnamon this night, not coming back until the sun was nearly down.<br />
<br />
"I'm sorry," he apologized when I pulled him outside to talk. "I was only able to look at your messages once I was done working. I meant to reply, but I was at Dad's finally able to get access to the information I wanted. Then I did get what I wanted..."<br />
"Is what you found out why you look so...so not good?" I questioned.<br />
<br />
Pieter spoke with little emotion. His stare was distant and glazed, and he moved as if an impossible weight clung to his shoulders.<br />
<br />
"Part of me wonders why I thought doing this would lead to anything good. At the same time, I'm determined to ride this through to the end."<br />
"What do you mean? If you got the information, what more is there to do?"<br />
<br />
He didn't reply. Not right away. He merely took out his phone, checked something, and cast his gaze dully to the sea.<br />
<br />
"I'm going to be staying the night at Dad's."<br />
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<br />
I didn't like that answer at all. Me tugging his sleeve turned him towards me, but Pieter wouldn't look me in the eye.<br />
<br />
"I'll come with you. I ate already, but I'm up getting some snacks delivered. Those chocolate lava cakes we got that one time were the best," I tried.<br />
"I need it to be just me." The decline came.<br />
"I won't intrude on whatever you want to do. I'll just be nearby if you need me."<br />
"I don't mean for this to sound horrible, but I don't want you even nearby either."<br />
"But I can help."<br />
<br />
To that, Pieter smiled so, so lightly and chuckled quietly.<br />
<br />
"Not so easy when you're on the other side, huh?" he teased. I shrunk and slumped recalling our reversed positions at the campsite. I wasn't getting what I wanted out of this conversation at all, but this little exchange brought a hint of energy and emotion back to Pieter's person. He smoothly gathered me close and kissed me deeply. "I'm being frustrating, I know. I will tell you everything eventually. All I can ask is that you give me the consideration I didn't give you at the campsite. Let me have some space to deal with this. Trust me?"<br />
"I do trust you," I confirmed.<br />
<br />
I was hardly satisfied, but what more could I do? Pieter held and kissed me until the tension in my form relaxed, but I still didn't like it when he walked away.<br />
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Seriously, I tried my best not to turn this into something big. Trusting Pieter to take care of whatever issue that'd popped up was good. It left me more time to study. I was able to help Ruby study too despite her heavy cramps, nausea, and impossibly heavy flow. Fennel kept me up late making shadow puppets together, so falling asleep came easily. One of my jobs canceled on me the next day due to the heavy rain that flooded in stopping the parents' outdoor date. I studied more, drank gratefully the hot chocolate Jessamine brought to combat the sudden drop in temperature, and hung tight to my umbrella when I left for my next job. Pieter not answering again when I checked if he wanted to do a late lunch or if it was okay for me to come take a bath wasn't a problem. I ordered a chocolate lava cake for myself and didn't mind the tepid bath had here at the warehouse.<br />
<br />
The rain continued all day. As did Pieter's silence. I did everything I could not to overthink the matter when darkness came, the hour grew later, and Pieter hadn't returned. He was surely spending another night with his dad.<br />
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In a freak swell of cold, the temperature dipped down even lower the next day. Banshee wind blasted rain upon the windows pushing a frigid dampness in, and Tulip madly searched for a bucket when a little drip began falling from the roof in the smaller corner bedroom. Jessamine took her chance when the storm calmed around noon to run to the library and use her card to take out two bags of books for us. They were sorely needed when the gloomy midday sun morphed to black. Only when the sun had nearly set did the darkness clear. I stood at the window watching when harsh, gunshot-like pings drenched the roof. Hail replaced rain. The assault continued for half an hour before finally fading to a soft pitter-patter. I checked my phone. Still no response from Pieter. He didn't return to the warehouse. I didn't fall asleep easily at all that night.<br />
<br />
When I checked my phone the next morning, I could hardly hold back the worry steadily pushing out. There, still, remained no response from Pieter.</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-36363793290439829052020-03-17T23:15:00.001-04:002020-03-17T23:21:51.781-04:00Gen Four- Chapter Twenty<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A comfortable chill settled in the air as night began to fall. The dying sun battled with the moon and stars for dominance, resulting in a brilliant show of gold and navy with a rainbow of hues in the middle. I'd stared up again and again until night started to win. My neck winced and so I kept my attention on what was right around me. Nowhere was more appealing to sit at the moment than at the fire. Fennel, Ginger's mom, and Sphene joined me. The mother and daughter were absolute chatter-boxes, but I didn't mind listening to their words.</div>
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"I'd ask her every morning if that was what she wanted to wear, and every morning she'd say yes. The more outrageous the design and the more mismatched the socks were, the prouder Sphene walked."</div>
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"<i>Mooom</i>," Sphene wined. "I thought we were only telling embarrassing stories about Ginger!"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"I think it's a cute story, that you wanted to wear your socks over your pants. Fashion and how we dress is all made up and constantly changing. People have gotten on me for my ribbons even though I'm not pink. In the end, I've decided I don't care what they think," I explained.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Yeah, but now I think me doing that was stupid." Sphene slumped in her chair.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Haha, well, everyone does have choices they regret," I shrugged.</div>
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Sphene's mother turned to me.</div>
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<br />
"Since you mentioned it, I did want to ask of your ribbons. Only because I think they're cute," she promised. "Do you just wear them for that reason, or is there something more to it?"</div>
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"My mom died giving birth to me. She was pink, but I came out all brown like my dad. These ribbons are my way of staying connected to her."</div>
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Although, I thought often of getting rid of them. I'd let that dianthus bush wilt. I'd stopped talking to her like I did when I was young. The ribbons probably should have gone at some point too, but each morning I tied them back in my hair before I could stop myself. Sometimes it was as if an invisible force took my hands to place them on my braids. Compulsion was a weird thing.</div>
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"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up a sensitive topic."</div>
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"No, it's fine. I don't mind talking about the basics. It's going too in-depth that I like to avoid," I comforted.</div>
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"I won't prod further then. This is a night for fun, after all."</div>
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She shifted conversation back to embarrassing stories about Ginger to steer away from my personal life and to appease Sphene. I heard of how Ginger went through a phase of sticking his tongue out when yawning to look like a lion and how he got in the habit of jumping down the last few steps to land in a superhero pose. The latter stopped when he landed hard and injured his kneecap. We were all mid-giggles when Larkspur rushed over. While he approached the fire to warm his hands, he quickly turned around and stuck his tush out to warm that instead.</div>
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"Lark," Fennel chastised. "You look silly. We don't want you sticking your butt out while we talk."</div>
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"So? I was sitting on the grass, and it was damp and cold. This is the part of me that needs the fire."</div>
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"I don't mind. Growing up with Ginger and all my male cousins, I've gotten used to the crass ways of boys," Sphene said, stretching out in her chair like a starfish.</div>
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"See? It's fine," Larkspur said.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Doesn't mean <i>I</i> have to accept it."</div>
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<br /></div>
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Fennel then stuck her leg out with just enough reach to poke Larkspur's rear-end with the tip of her shoe. I laughed along as he merely hopped closer to Sphene, avoiding further attacks.</div>
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Eventually, the warmth of the fire stung my cheeks like a sunburn. I relished the relief of a fresh, crisp breath of air as I wandered towards our cabin excited at the prospect of nice shade and a moment of quiet. Most everyone else was outside, so I should have been able to relax on my bed. Pieter and I, however, shared a moment like Ginger and I had earlier. Out Pieter strode without warning, and I was only just able to step back in time to avoid him.</div>
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"Sorry. It's limited space right here, huh?" I spoke more cheerfully than I felt, hoping Pieter had calmed some in the time we'd avoided one another. Unfortunately, it was safe to say that hope was killed with the next words out of his mouth.</div>
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"Feeling better then?" he prodded, taunting. "Glad you don't need me to feel happy."</div>
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"Pieter..."</div>
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"What? Mad?" He folded his arms and stared curtly.</div>
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I took a deep breath, and his expression changed, perhaps softening or holding back guilt, when that anger he supposed didn't manifest on my expression. No. My shoulders slouched while my dispirited gaze lowered.</div>
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"I'm not mad. Just sad. I'd been really looking forward to this little vacation with everyone, and most of it has been miserable so far. Seems like it's going to keep being that way," I said softly.</div>
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Pieter's lips tightened. He couldn't maintain eye contact, and I was able to step around him and enter our cabin without resistance.</div>
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The only other person inside was Jessamine. She was busy taking something out of her bag, but she still managed to spot me glancing through the window to watch Pieter walk away. The burn that'd been fading from my face flared once more upon noticing her questioning gaze.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
"You've been having a rough time of it. Cinny mentioned you weren't doing too well earlier, and now it looks like you and Pieter are fighting," she remarked.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"I don't know if we're fighting, per se. Pieter's just been...acting unreasonably insulted. Me not wanting him there while composing myself has really pissed him off. More so than what's warranted."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Hmm. Well, we've both seen over the years he does tend to go the irrationally angry side of things when he's feeling off. That shouldn't be his default, but I always thought he's been doing better with your influence. Sounds like I might need to step in if he doesn't pull himself together. I'll try to talk to him tonight if it feels right."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Thanks, Jess. I didn't know what else to do other than leave him be."<br />
"Like what you needed, that also might be what he needs. We'll have to see. Anyway, did you come in here for a reason? Need me for something?"<br />
"No. I came here for a moment of rest, but Pieter acting up again just now makes a quiet moment with my thoughts sound awful."<br />
"Mind doing me a favor then? Everyone seems to be getting along with our cabin buddies real well. I think Ginger's dad is starting to grill up some got dogs. Can you check with him and see if his family wants to consolidate our foods with theirs so we can have one big feast?"<br />
"Sure."<br />
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<br />
The location of the grills being in the shade of the cabin and closer to the eastern section of sky more dominated by night got me my relief of cooling down. Ginger's dad indeed grilled hot dogs, but the coals only just started to pulse with real heat.<br />
<br />
"Excuse me, Mister..." I trailed off as soon as I began. Then I laughed. "I realize I haven't actually heard your last name yet. I don't know what to call you."<br />
"Our part of the family leans towards the more casual side of things. I'm Lightning, but you can call me Light. You're one of the Cinnamons, correct?"<br />
"Yes. I'm Cinnamon. The other Cinnamon is Cinny."<br />
"It's a pleasure to meet you. Anything I can do for you?" Light beamed.<br />
"Jess wanted me to check if you and your family wanted to combine our dinners together to make one big one."<br />
"That sounds good to me. I was worried my children might pick at your food inappropriately, so sharing solves the problem."<br />
<br />
He laughed. He laughed, and my heart lurched. My eyelashes fluttered with great haste to push back the remnants of my flood of tears from earlier. Thank goodness Light focused more on his cooking than on me. I cursed my emotions for running rampant on me where, as if guilty, the intense wave backed off. Still, I rubbed my arm taming goosebumps and pondered how strange this was. I'd talked to Ginger. I'd talked to Sphene and her mother without issue. Why was it with Light every bit of my effort went into fighting an itch to hug him? It was if something screamed at me that if clutched to him, got him to really pain attention something would be fixed.<br />
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<br />
Thinking of what Cinnamon said, I wracked my brain desperately searching for what caused this urge. The only option though for where I would have seen an adult male in my youth would have been the Scarlet Dawn office. The workers there were intensely regular with anyone new sticking out like a sore thumb. I definitely hadn't ever met Light before then.<br />
<br />
"You brought a lot of hot dogs," I spoke, noticing the bad nearby.<br />
"Heh, yeah. Our immediate and extended family is massive, so I'm so used to cooking for a horde that I wasn't thinking when I was purchasing for just us four."<br />
"About a big family, Ginger mentioned something about his granddad having two sets of parents."<br />
"That would be about my dad. It's a long story. The short of it was he was kidnapped when he was little, got hurt so bad he had amnesia, was adopted away from his abusive 'father' by his one set of parents, and reunited with his biological parents when it turned out his biological dad had been friends with his adoptive dad as the two once lived in a Home together."<br />
"Damn, that is a story!" I chuckled. "Sounds like it would be a good book or movie."<br />
"And that tale wouldn't even the most extreme our family has. There's one where people were insistent it be a movie. We're trying to let it all calm down." Light instantly saddened. "Especially because a lot of what has happened in the past years has been heartbreaking."<br />
"I'm sorry to hear. I understand heartbreak well."<br />
"You've mentioned some of you are in foster care. Dad has told me stories of when he was in that life. It's true there's corruption and some kids suffer for it, but there's so much love that can be found in it as well, such as my dad's adoptive family. I'm happy for those of you who are in that transition that you've got such good support with you."<br />
"That the truth," I acknowledged tenderly. "All of us here, we really are more family than the friends and peers we introduced ourselves as."<br />
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<br />
Light found that a charming statement and offered me a maple candy sweet from his bag. As expected, he prodded more into the basics of my life. I avoided detailing how the others and I were connected and chose random stories about living with Dad and Grandpa to also paint the illusion I had a more normal home life. The first batch of hot dogs were well on their way to being cooked by that point. Turning to go grab our bags of food presented me the source of the scream that echoed out over the camp.<br />
<br />
"Moss!" Light reprimanded his wife, who'd snuck up behind Ruby to scare her out of her skin. "We're not with our family, remember? Not everyone is going to take kindly to being..."<br />
<br />
Ruby, we thought, was running away from the source of her fright. However, the several furious strides forward she made while Light spoke were actually strides toward retaliation. Ruby shoved her hands into the little pond. Following to make sure Ruby was alright got Moss drenched in seconds. I hesitated, worried my friend went too far. Light and I were left to laugh with the others still by the fire though as the two cheered merrily at one another in the water war they started.<br />
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<br />
I dodged the splashing water and Ruby who actively attempted to get me involved. She let me be once seeing I brought out food to start preparing our meal, and Light and I were able to cook in peace. The main staples were, of course, hot dogs and hamburgers with chips, various salads, some puddings, and a huge veggie tray. Everyone ate until bursting only to conjoin around the fire to roast marshmallows. I ate a s'more or two before calling it quits lest my stomach get too angry on me.<br />
<br />
"I didn't think the night sky was too bad where we normally are," Cinnamon whispered in my ear as we sat on the ground near the fire searching the stars, "but even just coming here brings it to a whole new level. It was even clearer where you lived before?"<br />
"I'm telling you, it was as clear as could be. When I came to Aspen Harbor, not being able to see the spiral of the galaxy we're in made me feel blind."<br />
"I can't even imagine being able to see the spiral. It'd make me think I was in a sci-fi movie!"<br />
"Are you two talking about the stars? I love the stars!" Sphene hopped over.<br />
"Cinnamon used to live in a remote place before, so she's told me of how much more serene everything was compared to living in the city. It's something I really want to see someday."<br />
"Do you know a lot about the stars? I'm not an expert, but I love astronomy. I can help you find the constellations," I said.<br />
"Yes, please!" Sphene cheered.<br />
<br />
She abruptly sat in my lap and angled her gaze up. Cinnamon and I giggled, and I pointed out what we could find above the tree line.<br />
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<br />
The combination of eating too much, sitting too long, and having someone sit on me didn't do wonders for my body craving movement. I almost missed being forced to run those laps to get a chance at climbing the rock wall. I volunteered to get going on the cleaning, and Ginger volunteered to help me. Everyone else who was too into hanging out or goofing off were content with us two accepting all the work.<br />
<br />
"I've gotta say, I'm glad this camping trip has turned out so well. I was afraid there'd be a camp here with a bunch of kids to bother us," Ginger said.<br />
"Now it's just your mom and Ruby declaring war," I grinned. Moss tricked Ruby into burning several of her marshmallows as revenge for the splashing.<br />
"Well..." Ginger hesitated, much to my confusion. "There's Pieter too. He's been avoiding most everyone and acting sour. Something obviously happened, but it didn't feel right to ask until now."<br />
"To be honest, I don't really know what's going with him either. I asked for a moment with him not there as Cinny and I dealt with something, and he grew so irate so quickly. There's probably something else, but he's clearly not in a talking mood at the moment."<br />
"You don't think it'd be me, maybe?" Ginger mumbled.<br />
"Did you say something that could offend him?"<br />
"No. But, you two are dating, right?"<br />
"You think he's jealous?" I wondered.<br />
"I...just putting out possibilities. I shouldn't say the first thing that comes to mind though," Ginger smiled sheepishly.<br />
"It's fine. But, hmm, Pieter's not the jealous kind. At least, he's never done anything to make him come off that way."<br />
"If you think he's fine with me, I could try to poke into what's going on."<br />
"Jess said she'd try too. Be my guest as well. I'll take an answer any way I can get it."<br />
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<br />
A flash of light in the now dark night caught our attention. The others had let the fire dim, and Larkspur stood in front of most everyone else prepped for what had to be a ghost story. To my relief, Pieter was one of the listeners and sat more relaxed than he'd been acting so far. Maybe Jess had found that moment to speak to him. Either way, seeing my friends and Ginger's family together acting as if we'd known each forever unfortunately also returned that longing sadness to my chest.<br />
<br />
"Something wrong?" Ginger asked.<br />
"I've heard of how you have such a large family, and you all sound so close. My family's always been small, and people come and go. I'm simply thinking of now nice it sounds to have a little community all your own," I had to admit.<br />
<br />
I'd had Dad and Grandpa, and they'd betrayed me. I had the warehouse and everyone there now. However, Jessamine and Tulip, Cinnamon and Ruby, Larkspur and Fennel...we'd say our farewells eventually. Those who had come and gone already who promised to stay in contact rarely did. Cori emailed Leo and Coral for a bit after he started college. Then he'd gone silent. Jam was in that phase of coming slower and slower. Pieter's and mine future together was more optimistic, but obviously at the moment it felt like a dip downward.<br />
<br />
"Well, I don't think my parents will mind me giving you this. The reason our family is so large is because we tend to adopt anyone who becomes close into it pretty quickly. If you ever want to visit, this is my address." Ginger handed me the information he wrote on a napkin.<br />
"Thanks, Ginger. I'd really like to visit," I beamed.<br />
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<br />
I pocketed the napkin carefully, and we finally got down to properly cleaning. We snuck once done behind the ghost story circle at the end of the second tale to be the ones getting the others screaming this time. The screams quickly turned into laughs. Although it was clear I still shouldn't approach Pieter, the rest of the evening continued with good fun. Some people were having too much fun though. Ruby and Cinnamon forgot about their competition to woo Ginger as they entered a pranking competition with Moss instead. I'd just returned from brushing my teeth in the bathroom to be pulled behind the cabins by my friends wearing mischievous smiles.<br />
<br />
"What are you two up to?" I asked.<br />
"We want to know if you want to come with us on a small excursion later," Cinnamon answered.<br />
"It's already getting rather late. What excursion?"<br />
"So, Sphene let us know that her mom seriously hates spiders. Our plan is sneak out to that big store not too far from here that's open twenty four-seven. We're going to buy some fake spiders, Ginger says he'll get up to take them inside the room and place them on his mom, and then we'll wake up to her scream in the morning," Ruby explained.<br />
"That's a decent prank, but I'll decline."<br />
"Aww, how come?" Cinnamon pouted.<br />
"It's true that store isn't far, but I don't want to walk there in the middle of the night. I'm still rather paranoid what with what happened with that jerk attacking me."<br />
"Oh, we didn't think about it like that," Ruby grew serious. "Sorry."<br />
"No worries. I'd feel better if you took Jess or Tulip with you though, especially because you don't want to be caught breaking curfew either. They're sure to be willing to support the prank."<br />
"We'll ask Jess then. She's more likely to go along with it," Cinnamon promised.<br />
"Thanks."<br />
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<br />
The two quickly cornered Jessamine, and the plan appeared to be well received. I grinned to myself, did my best not to giggle saying goodnight to Moss, and snuggled comfortably in my bunk that was a cloud compared to the mattresses at the warehouse.<br />
<br />
Sadly, the comfort did not last. I chalked it up to my worrying at first. Jessamine, Cinnamon, and Ruby slipping out of their bunks around midnight woke me up. No matter how much I reassured myself all would be fine my mind couldn't find rest again. This was true even after they returned from their shopping trip giggling and whispering to themselves. Soon their peaceful, slow breathing signaled all was indeed fine. My head only ached harder. My skull felt as if it'd become paper-thin while pressure from the inside swelled it like a bubble on the verge of popping.<br />
<br />
I would have said something, but the bigger problem was that I was sleeping. It dragged me down like a drug. In a blank quiet I'd float, my eyes would crack open as the pain throbbed and my body ached, and then my eyes closed again for the process to repeat before conscious logic returned to have me remember moving was an option.<br />
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<br />
I also didn't recognize the spiral happening. How, in the daze, brief flashes of color and sound manifested. Again and again they returned with each brush of sleep, a broken zoetrope slowly putting itself together once more. It never fixed itself completely though. Blurry and wavering seconds of sight were the best I got.<br />
<br />
"<i>I...ought I hea...ces. Unique...ime-visit.</i>"<br />
<br />
Staggering and slurred sound was all there was.<br />
<br />
"<i>Sage is...someth...so...Mal-ab...</i>"<br />
"<i>Nough home...rk, reason...ow. You two...vision...while wait?</i>"<br />
<br />
The myriad of voices pushed conversation.<br />
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<br />
Conversation I failed to understand despite many attempts. Conversation that sped from memory as soon as my eyes flashed open for real. Early morning sunlight streamed through the windows. The air brushed cool throughout the cabin, but I lay soaked in sweat. The throbbing squeezed my temples harder as if hands constricted to shove matter into my head. The sensation slowly numbed with consciousness returning, but the numbing only came due to my body reacting to the intense pain. The nausea churning my stomach wouldn't be content for long. I shakily stood, wriggled my feet into slippers, and drank greedily the cold morning wind upon stepping outside. It helped a little.<br />
<br />
But not enough.<br />
<br />
I shuffled just past the cabins when my legs gave out. Everything shook. My bones were as play-dough yet my muscles were lead. I froze and burned simultaneously, yet I feared being discovered more than I feared the state of my body. I had to get away to where Ginger and his family wouldn't see me. If they saw me, there's no way I'd escape going to the hospital. That'd leave me discovered and the others under a lot of suspicion when they suddenly scattered to avoid being discovered as well.<br />
<br />
"Cin<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>!"<br />
<br />
I sobbed hearing my name begin to form. This was it. Everything was going to fall apart.<br />
<br />
"Nutmeg," Pieter then whispered in my ear. He'd shot over to me and knelt close with his arm steadying my quaking. I sobbed this time from relief. "What's wrong?"<br />
"It hurts. My head. It hurts so much," I whined through heavy breaths and thick sniffles.<br />
<br />
I gagged and coughed before Pieter could respond. He recoiled at the threat of vomit, but adamantly stayed right there as my stomach somehow maintained its contents. Pieter rubbed my back, rest me against him, and was my comfort as the moments passed slowly. I breathed slowly to match my heartbeat with his and concentrated on finding what composure I could. Three, perhaps four minutes later the surge of agony faded for exhaustion and weary control took its place.<br />
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<br />
I couldn't muster enough effort to speak properly, but Pieter understood quickly my nod at the kitchen area. It contained a small sitting corner as well with a loveseat. I managed sitting on my knees. Pieter hoisted me up, needing to wrap my one arm around his shoulders and clutch his around my waist to guide me there. He rushed to get me a glass of water as soon as I sat, yet the better refreshment was him slipping underneath me to lay upon after I sipped it all down. A long, content sigh drained my lungs. I coiled around him like a snake underneath a warm rock. Proper sleep would have found me had Pieter not spoken.<br />
<br />
"Do you think you'll be alright? If you think you need medical help, I'll...I'll figure out something where they won't ask questions."<br />
"The pain is fading fast. I should be okay. I just need to rest," I mumbled, speaking requiring a lot of energy.<br />
"Are you sure? Does this have anything to do with what happened yesterday?"<br />
"No. Nothing at all."<br />
"Honestly?"<br />
"Honestly." I cracked what I could of a smile at his worried persistence. "Yesterday was just me getting struck by a weirdly strong longing for the kind of home Ginger and his family have, and I didn't want people to see me blubbering like a baby."<br />
"Mm." Pieter abruptly fell silent. He clearly struggled to gather his thoughts and felt pressured by the silence. Me though, I relaxed and snuggled more tightly upon his warmth. Even his soft words rang loud when he began again. "I'm sorry, Meg. You didn't want to tell me that. I didn't mean to make you feel as if you had to."<br />
<br />
His hold loosened, but I pulled myself closed to him still.<br />
<br />
"I don't mind telling you now that more time has passed. I just mind how you were...well..."<br />
"Being an asshole?"<br />
"Yeah."<br />
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<br />
As opposed to my sigh, Pieter sighed loudly and harshly. The guilt I thought I saw yesterday manifested itself in full on his expression now.<br />
<br />
"I'm...I'm really stupid sometimes. It's hard to direct my anger and emotions in the proper way when they overwhelm me. Dad's always just let me shout and berate him however I want, so even now I'm having to learn better. The truth of it is...it's seriously stupid...I was acting out towards you because I was upset at myself for not being good enough for you recently."<br />
"That...yeah. That's a cycle of a problem there. What do you mean you haven't been good enough for me though?" I frowned.<br />
"I..." Pieter paused again. "I still think about it a lot. What Gravel tried to do to you. What he would have done to you if Tulip hadn't come. I was barely able to do anything for you then. I wasn't able to stop that jerk from beating you. I'm still hung up on the tests I failed. Then, yesterday, when all of a sudden you were hurting again and I didn't know what was going on, when I couldn't do anything..."<br />
"Pieter...I never meant to make you feel useless."<br />
"I know. Trust me, I spent all night beating myself up and getting myself in line. I'm not trying to make excuses either. My feelings of inadequacy are not your responsibility. I'm just...telling the truth."<br />
"I appreciate the truth, and I'll say this to it. The world is going to be cruel or kind no matter how much we stick to each other waiting for either. The moments will come when the come. I used to dread the future and wondered how I would ever find the strength to deal with this life for so long. I know you know how I've felt about that. You, though, you've made everything so much brighter. It's true I still worry, how can we not, but I stand around looking at possibilities I couldn't have ever imagined before. Getting a GED, get a real job, maybe buying a house one day, feeling comfortable with my place in the world. I trust us both to pass our tests. I trust us to find a home. It might not happen the instant we turn eighteen, but I know we'll get there. We've come this far, and we'll get that far."<br />
<br />
Pieter listened carefully. He smiled after a moment. I seized the perfect timing.<br />
<br />
"I've been working on your dad too, you know. He's been acting more lively. He's trying harder. He's even got a surprise for you the next time you go home. I've actually been thinking of trying to make our family you, me, and him. I'd love to have a dad again." I held back a smirk watching Pieter's expression work through various ranges of disgust and rejection but being silenced especially by my last sentence. I kissed his nose. "Just think about it. That's how I'll forgive you."<br />
"I'll think about it," he promised reluctantly.<br />
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<br />
I peppered his neck with more kisses, and he laughed at the tickling it caused. He and I relaxed more, and we relaxed better when passing minutes returned me to something closer to proper health. We were on the verge of falling asleep like that when screaming pierced the campgrounds from the other cabin. Pieter panicked, but seeing as how he'd chosen to sleep in the tent with Larkspur and Fennel due to his temper tantrum he wasn't privy to what I knew. I explained the prank. Pieter remained wary, but once laughter rang from both cabin he chuckled and shook his head.<br />
<br />
"You should be glad they're leaving town," I spoke to my friends once dressed and in a good mood. "Moss is sure to have thought of something awful for revenge otherwise."<br />
"We'd be ready. I've already even snuck more spiders in her purse when she went to shower," Ruby boasted smugly.<br />
"You did that. I noticed Cinnamon and Pieter nice and close in the other building. Made up?" Cinnamon said.<br />
"Yeah. He was feeling kind of useless with that guy being able to attack me and then to have me reject the help he tried to give yesterday."<br />
"Wait. What was going on with you yesterday? I mean, I saw Pieter being standoffish, but I guess I'm really out of the loop," Ruby realized.<br />
"I'll tell you more once a bit more time has passed. I want to finish this morning off with fun."<br />
"Eh, fine. I'll wait."<br />
"You're such a saint," Cinnamon lovingly pushed her shoulder.<br />
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<br />
We grabbed fruit and made sandwiches for breakfast. I made sure not to eat too much though. The massive dinner lats night still filled me up, and that close call this morning had me cautious about stuffing my face even more.<br />
<br />
"That was the greatest thing I've seen in a long time. Mom's pissed now that she knows I helped, but there's not much she'll have the chance to do to me today," Ginger joined us merrily.<br />
"I'd recommend sneaking salt in her coffee or tea next time you dine together if she does choose you as her target."<br />
"A classic option. Sphene tends to go with that one a lot, so Mom will think she did it instead," Ginger noted mischievously.<br />
"You all seem to live in a world I don't want to be a part of. Once the pranking starts, it never ends," I said.<br />
"That's the fun of it," Cinnamon encouraged.<br />
"I would rather not wake up to find spiders, fake or not, in my bed, thank you very much."<br />
"Hmm, Cinny, we might have to get Cinnamon then until she has no choice but to come over to the dark side."<br />
"Try all you want. I'll just cry instead until you feel guilty enough to stop."<br />
"It's a good thing she doesn't want to join," Ginger chuckled. "With that kind of mind, we'd all be at her mercy."<br />
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<br />
The laughter continued until it had to stop. Ginger and his family had a less flexible schedule than us. We ate a bit more, goofed off as much as possible, and a phone from each side was used to snap pictures of the others for mementos. I stood next to Pieter glad everything worked out despite the bumps along the way. I ignored how Light's presence still brought up that weird longing. When he pulled me in for a quick side-hug when the goodbyes were said, I nearly clung to him as I had Pieter. He stepped away before anything could happen. Then, after some last words and wave, the family of four grabbed their things, walked down the trail, and were gone.</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-15087243589266295742020-03-09T23:50:00.000-04:002020-03-09T23:50:19.421-04:00Gen Four- Chapter Nineteen<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
It was at times like these where I wished more than ever for proper lighting. Tulip and I were in the middle of our intense foosball game that had my palms hurting and arms aching from the repeated reaching up and down the table. I put in all that effort, and it was the shadows doing me in. I kept losing sight of the ball.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Gah, seriously..." I complained as Tulip reset after scoring. I rubbed my eyes and pressed them closed hard for a few seconds trying to force them to adjust.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"You gotta stop blaming the lack of light, girl. You're getting more of the sunlight coming in from your side. If anyone should be having trouble, it would be me. I'm just better though," Tulip taunted.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"I really think I'm not seeing as well as I used to," I frowned.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Or the more likely answer, which I knew, was that I remained paranoid. I couldn't get what that jerk who attacked me said. Of how suddenly frightened of me he became. Someone staring at you like you were a monster didn't easily leave one's memory.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Are things fuzzy?" Tulip asked.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"No. Nothing like that's changed, but..."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Well, just shout if you randomly go blind. People donate old eyeglasses for those who can't afford them, but besides that there's not much we can do." She smoothly scored another goal. "And if you're simply avoiding your miserable loss, I can help you even less."</div>
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<br />
I rolled my eyes, which nearly lost me another point as Tulip saw the distraction and restarted the game with unexpected speed. There was little reason for me to pout after that. No way was I winning. My tactic switched to learning what I could of Tulip's technique, and enough improvement came by the time Cinnamon and Ruby bounded up the stairs.<br />
<br />
"Tulip! Tulip!" Cinnamon called, excitement bouncing her hurried steps.<br />
"What?"<br />
"Ruby and I have had the most brilliant idea! We want to run it past you and Jess for approval and planning."<br />
"Shouldn't you ask Leo and Coral then?"<br />
"Nope! They said it was time they stopped doing that stuff. That you and Jess need the practice."<br />
<br />
In the several weeks it'd taken for my bruising to fade, Leo and Coral announced to everyone else their impending departure.<br />
<br />
"Okay? What's this brilliant idea then?"<br />
Ruby boldly stepped forward. "We want to go camping."<br />
"...Camping? I fail to see why that idea is causing this commotion. Our lifestyle is already so close to that."<br />
"Ah, but you see, there's this campsite on the other side of the bridge. It's got cabins you can rent. Cabins with heating and electricity, a separate building with toilets and showers, and another building with a kitchen and small sitting room."<br />
"Most people camp to step back from the stresses of modern life. You want to go camping to step closer to modern life," I laughed.<br />
"The place won't be expensive at all if we each chip in. Ruby and I called their office earlier. Most of their days are booked for summer camps, but there's one night open later this week. They said they can hold it as long as tomorrow afternoon. Please can we go?" Cinnamon pleaded.<br />
"I'll look into it. As long as there's not a lot of paperwork that'll be problematic for us to fill out, I don't see an issue," Tulip said.<br />
"Yes!"<br />
<br />
Cinnamon and Ruby high-fived.<br />
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<br />
The two wished for me to plan an itinerary with them, but I declined. Too much of the morning I'd spent lounging and goofing off. These weeks I hadn't worked had done a number on my clientele list. It wasn't that they didn't want me to work for them anymore, but with how I'd abruptly become unavailable they'd gone to other people in my absence. With a few more weeks, my schedule should return to normal now that everyone was free to rely on me once more. The extra time did mean my studying went well though. Pieter's house was where I headed. Mr. Clay tended to be home around this point in the day. However, that I found him where I did made me double-take.<br />
<br />
"What's this tree?" I asked. On the east side of the yard, Mr. Clay tended to the branches of this piece of nature that hadn't been here yesterday.<br />
"Good afternoon, Cinnamon." Pieter's dad greeted me properly every time now, although his voice remained soft. "I just...this kind of tree grows Pieter's favorite kind of apples. Well, if he still likes the same apples he liked when he was younger, anyway. I went to a tree farm last week, and they delivered it and helped me plant it today."<br />
"That's a wonderful idea. I don't know what kind of apple is Pieter's favorite either, but I've never seen him deny one before<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> sweet or tart, soft or crisp."<br />
"I'm a fan of sweet and crisp," Mr. Clay smiled gently.<br />
"I like tart and crisp. We should bake some pies later for each," I beamed. "But, for now, I'm going to do some studying, if that's alright."<br />
"Help yourself like normal. You're always welcome here whenever you need."<br />
"Thanks, Mr. Clay."<br />
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<br />
I skipped into the house and up the stairs. Pieter and his dad hadn't made any progress, but that was because Pieter never came home unless I dragged him with me. I'd absorbed his role of checking on Mr. Clay over the years. Perhaps I needed to plan more consistent ways to convince Pieter to come along. He had liked cuddling together that night we slept here last. That sounded like a good tactic to win over a teenage boy.<br />
<br />
"Oh...wait, what?"<br />
<br />
My thoughts slowed reality from sinking in. I stepped into the office instantly realizing I could see a lot more of the desk, but it took several slow seconds for me to understand that was because of the brand new computer. The computer wasn't just the latest top-of-the-line model either. It, the monitor, the keyboard, and the mouse were all pink with a brown mouse pad to complete the set.<br />
<br />
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<br />
With a little huff, I spun on my heel and went back down the stairs. I assumed Mr. Clay remained outside. He must have come in quickly after me, and that was how I was able to catch him doing something that made me laugh loud. His mouth opened wide to where my jaw would hurt if I did the same, and he chomped into the apple in his hand as if attempting to devour it in a single bite. It left his cheeks puffed like a chipmunk's. When that laughter of mine caught his attention, his eyes were then as a deer's in headlights.<br />
<br />
"Sorry," I giggled. "I don't meant to mock your eating habits."<br />
<br />
Mr. Clay hurriedly shuffled the other direction, furiously crunched on his bite, and swallowed hard. I walked over more amused than ever.<br />
<br />
"I didn't know the tree has apples on it already."<br />
"It doesn't. This was one I bought from the grocery store."<br />
"Ah, I see. Well, speaking of things you bought..." I began, folding my arms.<br />
"The computer? You don't like it?" Mr. Clay's expression instantly dropped to match that of a sad puppy. It squeezed my heart with a hard wrench.<br />
"No, no. It's a wonderful computer. I...like, like I said though<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> you didn't need to buy a new computer for me. I was fine with the one you had, and you do so much for me by letting me come here, eat your food, and even sleep in your bed. I'm not family. I don't have a right to ask for so much."<br />
"It was for more than just you that I bought it. Pieter telling me to do it was part of that. Then there was the fact that I hadn't used it in years myself. It frustrated me beyond belief when I did finally boot it up two weeks ago. So the new one is also for my benefit," Mr. Clay explained.<br />
"I guess I have no reason to complain then. Thank you," I accepted quietly.<br />
<br />
I twitched when Mr. Clay put his hand on my shoulder. Not from dislike of his touch, mind you, but from the surprise he'd found the courage to be the one reaching out.<br />
<br />
"You have every right to come here, use whatever you want, and ask for what you need. You were the one who said you wished we could be a family of three, right? I think that sounds nice," Mr. Clay comforted, his voice a little louder.<br />
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<br />
The tickling of a blush rippling up my face squirmed me in embarrassment. I'd said that, and my actions had begun to make changes. Mr. Clay seemed more alive than ever before. If my plan did work, Pieter and I would live here for sure<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> I was confident on that. Pieter might someday propose, and someday we could be married. Mr. Clay would be my father-in-law. To have someone to call 'Dad' again, to have that person before me hinting at that future, it worked on wishes and hopes long tossed to the ground. I didn't dislike it.<br />
<br />
Anyway, Mr. Clay let me be. He went around prepping a nice sandwich while I booted up the computer. It working lightning fast made me certain I could never go back to that kind of molasses-slow dinosaur of a computer ever again. Unfortunately, my studying and preparation took as much time as it always did.<br />
<br />
"Sex ed. Sex ed."<br />
<br />
I mumbled to myself over and over again. The topic couldn't be avoid any longer. While I'd had detailed and thorough classes on it at the Scarlet Dawn office, all that knowledge and the information easily found online didn't come together how I needed. All I could imagine was the others constantly bursting into fits and giggles as soon as the words 'penis' and 'vagina' came out. Seriously, I didn't get it. I must have been missing out on something for why the younger kids found it amusing and why those my age couldn't stop talking about it.<br />
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<br />
I compiled what I could for a lesson plan. Basically, there was a free packet used for normal classes I downloaded and tweaked to separate into my shorter lessons. It would see me through two weeks. Depending on how mature my class acted after getting out their giggles, I'd try to dive deeper with the topics. The good weather provided me my break when everything printed. My feet followed the path Pieter and I raced so long ago, and I stood on that same spot I claimed for my own. I smirked thinking back to that weird face Pieter made when I turned and smiled. Was that the moment he began to fall for me? When he said the view was beautiful, had it really been me he meant? I'd have to ask him sometime.<br />
<br />
"I wonder if we could buy a house around here eventually," I mumbled my musings to myself. "A house of our own. Imagine that..."<br />
<br />
I scarcely could.<br />
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<br />
Mr. Clay found me a folder to put my lessons in. Unfortunately, he saw those pictures of genitalia and couldn't help but to raise a brow. He obviously already knew of the warehouse, and he didn't appear surprised in the slightest when I dared to explain that I lived there. Of course anyone would figure that out after years of context clues. I revealed the lesson topics forced upon me by my pupils, and he laughed and wished me best of luck. My walk home had me tightly clutching the folder to my chest afraid the wind would catch a paper and toss it away for someone less understanding to find. Reaching the warehouse safely relaxed my nerves. Better yet, Pieter sat at his desk slowly flipping through a book.<br />
<br />
"Hey, Pieterrrr?" I sang, approaching after hiding the folder in my bookshelf.<br />
"What?" Pieter replied. It came off with an unexpected bite that made me temporarily discard my plan to ask him those questions about that day he first brought me to his house.<br />
"Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt your work if you were studying."<br />
"I was trying to." He closed the book with unnecessary force.<br />
"Is something the matter?"<br />
"It's nothing."<br />
<br />
I bit my lip to stop myself from repeating the same words I said to him on that day as well.<br />
<br />
"Anything I can do for you? Even if you want me to go away, that's fine. We all need our space."<br />
"Mmm," Pieter grumbled noncommittally.<br />
"...Wait." I then noticed how off he looked. Sure enough, a quick test of his burning forehead and faster pulse where he quickly swatted my hands away gave me the answer. "You're sick, and you're hiding it again? Pieter, you have to stop doing this. It could lead to something really bad if<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
"Lay off, will you?! I don't need you playing 'parent'! I know my own limitations!"<br />
<br />
Silence stung the air. I took a step back, uncertain, and Pieter glared daggers into the desk. Then, incredibly slowly, he exhaled the tension in his chest right before I gathered the courage to walk away.<br />
<br />
"Sorry. That was terrible. You're right. It's just that...I went to the library. I took some tests online that measure where teens our age should be with our subjects. I...I failed most of them. While I thought I've been studying hard, I clearly haven't. Everything I'm trying to do is going to fall apart if I don't get myself in order. That's why I've been down here reading even though I feel awful."<br />
"Pieter, you do work so hard. You've come so far from saying you'll just regret it later, huh? Remember that? If you're worried you're not caught up enough, you and I can study together. Maybe you can help with the lessons. Teaching the material helps me understand it so much better. For now though, get some medicine and rest. You deserve to be healthy."<br />
"Yeah, thanks," Pieter grinned sheepishly. "I've heard of this camping trip we're supposedly going on too. Don't want to miss that, do I?"<br />
"Nope!"<br />
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<br />
Tulip and Jessamine were able to sort renting that cabin for a night no problem. Everyone cheered at the prospect of having a warmer, more comfortable spot to sleep in, electricity and plumbing, a working kitchen, and the freedom to run about. The lone issue presented itself with there not being enough bunks in the cabin for everyone, but Larkspur and Fennel leapt at the chance to sleep in one of the provided tents.<br />
<br />
"Let's roast marshmallows!" Fennel proposed merrily, dashing ahead with Larkspur.<br />
"You just ate lunch," Jessamine reminded her.<br />
<br />
Fennel ignored this. She and Larkspur ran to the pit, inspected it with interest, and resumed running by starting a game of tag.<br />
<br />
"I wonder if they'll be the next pair," Pieter spoke softly to me.<br />
"Next pair?"<br />
"To continue on what we have going. There was the original two who started this unique family. Then it was Leo and Coral. It's going to be Jess and Tulip. I know a lot of eyes were looking our way to be next in line, but we've made it clear we're not leaning that direction. Maybe Lark and Fennel will be the future."<br />
"Perhaps. There's a lot of time between now and then. I worry if Fennel would be a good fit for all that responsibility too."<br />
"Right," Pieter chuckled. "She needs to learn how to not run blindly into the street still."<br />
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<br />
Jessamine put up her best denials, but she couldn't win over Fennel's insistence for marshmallows. She tossed some kindling in the pit to get the flames going. Before long, the welcoming scent of burning wood and fizzles and pops drew several of us over.<br />
<br />
"I can remember a little of the last time I went camping. It was with my parents when I was four, I believe. We had the best time. My dad wasn't too happy though when I sped around with the fishing pole he'd helped me catch a fish on. The sight of it wriggling freaked me out, but I didn't realize holding onto the pole meant it would keep chasing me," Cinnamon reminisced.<br />
"That's hilarious. I went camping a few times with school groups. Never fished though. I doubt I'd like it," Tulip said.<br />
"Grandpa took me to the river often enough that I got used to the fish. They still wig me out a bit though. We camped a lot, being in such a rural area," I explained.<br />
"How does this area compare to your home?" Cinnamon asked. I knew what she was getting at.<br />
"My house is still way more picturesque than here," I grinned.<br />
"I really want to see it one day!" she huffed determinedly.<br />
"Perhaps. If not, I'm sure there'll come a chance when we can find another truly beautiful spot like that out of the city."<br />
"Once we turn eighteen should work. We can have a proper vacation!"<br />
"Sounds good," I smiled.<br />
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<br />
I ignored the call of marshmallows by figuring where everyone else rushed off to. Pieter and Ruby were taking the smart route of claiming bunks.<br />
<br />
"I've never understood it. Why do people care so much in having the top bunk?" Ruby challenged Pieter. "The hassle is too much to override whatever novelty comes from sleeping a few extra feet in the air. You have to fuss with a tiny ladder each and every time you want to do one small thing, and you have nowhere to put any of your stuff. The bottom is best."<br />
"You're looking at it all wrong, my practical friend. You're thinking of the wrong kind of things. I can see everything in the room from this one spot. When I do come down, the room feels much more expansive. Plus, if you need something you just ask someone to get it for you."<br />
"Don't expect <i>me</i> to be your chore monkey."<br />
"Hey, Cinnamon? Want to be my bunk partner?" Pieter asked with bright eyes, noticing my arrival.<br />
"Sorry, hun. I'm on Ruby's side. Bottom bunk is best."<br />
<br />
Ruby and I matched smirks as I picked the lower bunk to the left of hers<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> the farthest away from Pieter's. He pouted.<br />
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<br />
Since there wasn't much to unpack or put away, I chose to depart the room for the moment instead of listening to Ruby and Pieter lightheartedly bicker over how Ruby had corrupted me away from him. Pieter dramatically called for my return. I closed the door. So did the other person coming out of the other cabin. Our backs collided, and in the narrow space we bumped into each other again flailing around for the source of the impact.<br />
<br />
"Oh, sor<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
"My ba<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
<br />
We even smacked our apologies together too before laughing.<br />
<br />
"I'm Ginger," the boy introduced, offering his hand.<br />
"Cinnamon." I shook it.<br />
"You think they would put an extra foot between the buildings. This probably happens all the time."<br />
"But it's a memorable way to meet, huh?"<br />
"Fair enough," Ginger nodded, amused. "I just hope our meeting isn't too memorable. By that, I hope my family doesn't disturb you too much. They tend to get quite wild when, well, out in the wild."<br />
"There won't be problems then. My group is just as chaotic."<br />
"You here on an activity group trip?"<br />
"Nah. We're an odd bunch."<br />
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<br />
I glanced around to find the two youngest to start the introductions. While I did find them quickly, I paused seeing another with them.<br />
<br />
"Oh, there. That's Sphene, my younger sister. 'Sphene' is the gemstone name of Titanite. Remember that. You'll get big brownie points with her, because she always asks everyone if they know the origin of her name. Most people have no clue," Ginger explained.<br />
"That's like my boyfriend. His name is Pieter. Everyone is always unsure what it's based off."<br />
"Is it a foreign variation of Pewter?" Ginger guessed, puzzled.<br />
"No. It's from pietersite, which is a kind of quartz."<br />
"Ah, yup. Never heard of that."<br />
"Anyway, playing tag with her are Larkspur and Fennel." I went around pointing out the others. "Cinnamon and I do share a name. She's called 'Cinny' while I'm the full 'Cinnamon'. Like I said, we're an odd collection of friends, peers, and foster siblings. Tulip and Jessamine over there are in charge if any of them give you any problems. You can complain to them."<br />
"Got it. Complain to Dad with issues of your own. He's more sensible than mom. She's fine, but he's more liable to notice when we're being bothersome in these environments," Ginger laughed.<br />
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<br />
Pieter and Ruby walked out of the cabin, still bickering, to force Ginger and I into an even more cramped position. Curious about the new guy, the four of us found better space on the other side of the little pond where Cinnamon rushed over too.<br />
<br />
"Man, I always get people with that. Why'd you have to tell him?" Pieter whined when he tried to show off his unique name as usual.<br />
"Because she's probably tired of having you force a person to play 20 Questions with every new person you meet?" Cinnamon pointed out.<br />
"Sphene calls me a scatter-brain. I can conveniently forget if you want me to," Ginger offered merrily.<br />
"Nah. Thanks, but I'm good. It sounds more like I should have a showdown with your sister."<br />
"But you just got told the answer," Ruby said.<br />
"What's better than a competition where you're guaranteed to win?"<br />
"It'd rock her world, that's for sure. I say go for it. The secret vengeance will be great for me. She wouldn't stop blaring her tween boy pop on the way down. As if the long drive wasn't bad enough."<br />
"Not a local?" Cinnamon asked.<br />
"Nah. My granddad's one set of parents lives in this state. Neither are doing too well, so we're staying the summer to spend time with them since we don't know if it'll be our last chance. They live an hour west, but my parents took Sphene and I here for a night for an extra vacation to our vacation. The original drive was about five hours."<br />
"One set of parents?" Ruby picked out from that.<br />
"It's a long story. Better told at another time," Ginger dismissed it for the moment.<br />
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Which was fine. We were just getting to know one another, and all of us warehouse kids learned quickly not to dig too deeply into other people's stories. They usually wished for us to reciprocate our own. Us being out here together in a vaguely described clump of 'friends, peers, and foster siblings' meant our story was easily tipped in the wrong direction or brought up too many contradictions. So, yeah, better not to press our luck. The conversation got interrupted anyway by two adults coming over.<br />
<br />
"My parents," Ginger explained the obvious.<br />
"A pleasure to meet you. You're part of the group staying in the other cabin?" Ginger's dad said.<br />
"Yes. I'm Ruby." Ruby went first, and the three of us took our turns following that.<br />
"You all live around here?" Ginger's mom wondered. We nodded. "Any restaurant recommendations? We're going to head out tomorrow afternoon, but we want to stop at a nice place for lunch before we do."<br />
"Red Sails Kitchen!" Ruby instantly piped up. "They have the best local seafood, but they don't go crazy with their prices."<br />
"No, no. They should go to the Crave Lodge. They have all the classics there, but they also have their 'Adventure' menu full of bizarre sounding but delicious food combinations. The peanut butter burgers are my favorite!" Cinnamon challenged.<br />
"Seafood sounds good," Ginger contemplated.<br />
"For me too," his mom nodded.<br />
"But Sphene won't eat anything from there. We'd be better off going to this Crave Lodge," his dad pointed out.<br />
"Why do we always have to cave to her refusal to try anything new? Her pickiness shouldn't be the deciding factor every single time," Ginger complained.<br />
"But I want to try this peanut butter burger. It sounds interesting," his dad grinned.<br />
"Bah!" Ginger threw his hands in the air.<br />
"They sound like Leo and Coral trying to figure out where they want to eat," Pieter whispered in my ear.<br />
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I simply nodded. Pieter accepted that as a reply, not noticing that my lack of words wasn't from a choice of being subtle. I'd been standing there feeling just fine. Talking to Ginger, a fresh face, was nice. Being here at this campsite helped me feel like our strange family was like any other. However, something for some reason changed within me. Maybe it was Ginger's parents coming over and him interacting with them that set me off. It was a real family right in front of me showing me, no, my family wasn't right.<br />
<br />
I volunteered to get ice from the fridge to steal a moment for myself. The fire's presence quickly gathered everyone together and stirred previously quiet appetites. Several deep breaths calmed an aching heart threatening to overflow. Or so I thought. Ginger's dad walked in the corner of my vision to get to the fire pit. Seeing him squeezed my chest with all the ferocity that jerk had constricted my throat. Worse, the emotions building up weren't what I had thought. I saw real families all the time. Babysitting children with loving parents and watching them be together while I returned to an cold, abandoned building was my norm.<br />
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Abandoning the ice, I snuck to the side of the building. A toilet stall probably provided better privacy, but there was no way I could make it there without someone noticing the tears madly pooling down my cheeks. My chest burned and hitched as I constantly sucked down air to keep myself from sobbing for the world to hear. A few minutes. I just needed a few minutes to regain control. That's what I told myself. It didn't happen. The tears barely slowed when Cinnamon's voice calling mine came from around the corner. My legs betrayed me, proving weak and floppy in my one chance to shuffle completely to the back of the building. I'd barely moved an inch when Cinnamon's head poked within my line of sight.<br />
<br />
"Cinnamon! What's wrong?" She rushed over, tenderly stroking stray strands of hair from my face. "Are you hurt?"<br />
"No." My voice croaked as I spoke. "I-I just...I don't know! All of a sudden I feel so...so <i>sad</i>."<br />
"Sad?" Cinnamon tilted her head. "Hmm. From seeing Ginger and Sphene with their parents?"<br />
"No. That's what I thought at first, but I see parents and their kids together all in the time. This is...is like I'm mourning."<br />
"Mourning?"<br />
"I don't...I don't...." I scoffed. "Ugh! I don't know how to explain it. Something about seeing Ginger's parents makes me feel like someone has died. Or, no, it's like I'm the one who's died. I'm a ghost, and I want to go to them so badly. But I can't."<br />
"Because you're a ghost attached by longing. It's impossible though because you're on one side of the veil and they're on the other," Cinnamon did her best to understand.<br />
"I guess. So, yeah, the pain of mourning is the best I can describe."<br />
"Do you know them somehow?"<br />
"Not in the slightest! That's why I don't get what's going on."<br />
"Well, let me run the ice to the others. Then we can stay here until you feel better, kay?"<br />
<br />
I nodded again, miserable.<br />
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Cinnamon returned with lightning speed. She offered the idea of telling Jessamine or Tulip as I just could <i>not</i> stop the crying even after several more minutes, but I clung onto her arm with an iron grip. Her seeing me like this was humiliating enough. The last thing I wanted to do was give my weird explanation again, cast a somber mood on everyone else's fun, or have to leave myself. Leo and Coral were staying at the warehouse. What would they think when I suddenly showed up?<br />
<br />
"Cinny?"<br />
<br />
Pieter came looking when nearly fifteen minutes had passed. I don't know what explanation Cinnamon gave as for why we were staying out of sight, but it clearly hadn't been effective enough. Cinnamon and I had at least shuffled to the back of the building. She was able to step around the corner and stop Pieter from seeing me.<br />
<br />
"What's going on? Jess said Cinnamon needed a moment to herself, but you two have been here for a bit. Is everything alright?"<br />
"Everything will be fine. Cinnamon's day just hit a somber note, and she needs some time to let the emotions settle. Leave her to me. We'll be back and jumping in the fun soon."<br />
"But I can help."<br />
<br />
Pieter must have tried to take a step forward, for I caught sight of Cinnamon raising her arms to motion him back.<br />
<br />
"Thanks, Pieter, but it's not help she needs. She just needs some quiet time without people fussing over her. I'm sure she didn't even want me here, but I stumbled upon her before she could stop it."<br />
"I'm not people. I'm her <i>boyfriend</i>!" Pieter grew irate.<br />
"Then, as her boyfriend, you should know Cinnamon well enough to understand the solution to some of her problems isn't going to be your presence," Cinnamon folded her arms.<br />
"This is ridiculous! Cinnamon?"<br />
<br />
He tried to move forward again, and my friend had to physically press on him this time to prevent his approach.<br />
<br />
"Move," Pieter demanded coldly.<br />
"Pieter!" I groaned. "Can't you give me a minute, please? Cinny's right. I just want some peace and privacy."<br />
<br />
There was silence, but only for a brief moment. Pieter inhaled sharply.<br />
<br />
"Fine! Guess I should have expected this, what with you refusing to bunk underneath me and walking away when I was looking for support!"<br />
"Wha<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>?" Cinnamon rebuked. "I was close enough to hear you through the window. You guys were just messing around, Pieter. Don't make that into some petty accusation!"<br />
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Pieter was already walking away. He stomped that hard on the ground that he might as well have been walking on metal. Cinnamon gasped in frustration at this behavior, and kicked at a tuft of grass.<br />
<br />
"Ass! What's his problem? He's been fine all day. Heaven forbid your whole life not revolve around him."<br />
"I'll talk to him later. Maybe there's something else going on we don't know about," I mumbled.<br />
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My heavy head rest against my arms, but Cinnamon stuck her hand in my face. She pulled me to my feet and into the trees. The campsite was hardly removed from the rest of Aspen Harbor. Five minutes of walking and we reached a road and houses.<br />
<br />
"I wonder if the camp is haunted."<br />
"What?" I stared unblinking at my companion.<br />
"You talked about being a ghost. What if there are actual ghosts lurking around? It could be why you feel that sadness and why Pieter's attitude suddenly changed. Possession makes absolute sense."<br />
"Does it now?" I couldn't help but to laugh.<br />
"Yes," Cinnamon affirmed with a goofy grin. "Aren't you feeling better now that we're getting farther away?"<br />
"That is true," I spoke dramatically, playing along.<br />
"There we go."<br />
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We went until the inclining road flattened into an open space marking the edge of this piece of mountain. My somberness vanished almost entirely when Cinnamon got on the topic of Ginger. Ruby had asked if he had a girlfriend, which he didn't. She and Cinnamon were now going to try and see which one of them they could get him to lean towards before he departed tomorrow. Ruby had much more experience flirting, but Cinnamon had a lot of natural charm. I wished her best of luck.<br />
<br />
While a little nervous, the feelings from before didn't assault me once we returned to camp. What did happen, however, was that the route Cinnamon and I took ran us right into Pieter as we came around the cabins. Cinnamon quickly let us be. Unfortunately, Pieter wore an expression of extreme displeasure.<br />
<br />
"Pieter, I'm sorry I made you worry and made you feel like I was pushing you away, but that wasn't what I meant. I really just needed some space. Cinny was right. I didn't want her there either, but she wiggled her way into the situation."<br />
"So what was the problem?" Pieter asked too tartly for my liking.<br />
"I don't want to say," I mumbled. I took a deep breath to maintain composure when Pieter's glare narrowed. "It's embarrassing, okay? And rather silly. I'm not telling you for any reason because of you, but simply so I can maintain some dignity."<br />
"It's just <i>me</i>. You can tell me anything," Pieter pressed.<br />
"I appreciate that. I do. But...just because I can tell you everything, it doesn't mean I have to or want to tell you everything," I pointed out.<br />
"You think it's fine we lie to each other then?"<br />
"That's not what I'm saying at all!" I frowned. "C'mon, Pieter. You know what I mean. Don't spin it like that."<br />
"I'm merely speaking plainly what you're hiding in your words."<br />
"Pieter!"<br />
"What?" he shrugged.<br />
"What's up with you? You were fine when we got here. You acted perfectly normal up until I went to get the ice. Is this situation really so upsetting that it's having you be this mean?"<br />
"Well, as my girlfriend, you should know me well enough to understand that," Pieter taunted.<br />
"Oh go <i>away</i> if you're going to be like this!" I snapped.<br />
"Sure."<br />
<br />
Pieter turned and nonchalantly meandered over to everyone else. Deep, angry breaths escaped my lips as I clutched the hem of my dress to control my shaking hands. Cinnamon had to be right. Pieter better be possessed by a ghost, because he was jumping into hot water otherwise.</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-15253191281581233602020-03-02T15:19:00.002-05:002020-03-03T16:07:48.149-05:00Gen Four- Chapter Eighteen<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The rain meant to come tomorrow was to be the first wet day in a week and a half. The unending sun hardened the ground rigidly solid. However, my feet shuffled as if caught in the thickest of sludge with my muscles hardening like I'd run all day. I just wanted to return to the warehouse for rest, but I took the longer paths most likely to curb my paranoia. Most of them looped back around or provided me extra sight of the area I'd just come from. My widened eyes searched and locked on to every small rustle of movement. If someone followed, how could I miss them after such diligent alertness?</div>
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Relief slowly battled the fear as my feet crept me closer and closer home. I'd walked far enough away to throw off my real destination. I'd done the circling to ensure no one did indeed follow. All that was left to do was return to safety where I'm sure Larkspur would continue to prod of why I acted weird and Pieter would let me snuggle him until I was calm. I hated how cold this swampy area was though. It didn't feel freezing, but it must have been given the goosebumps rippling up and down my arms. I rubbed them down, and they came right back. I rubbed faster, and they exploded harder in retaliation.</div>
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Then the footsteps charged from the bushes. I heard them, and I doubted them. No. I'd been so careful. This was me going a bit loony, wasn't it? Yet the logical part of my brain that was pushing through my naivety still spun me around in a whirlwind. The person I'd been fearing leapt at me without wasting a single breath. Shock and disbelief cushioned the impacts<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> both physical and mental. My back and head slammed into the ground, but I barely felt it. The jerk's fist found contact against my face several times, yet I hardly noticed. Calmness steadied my chest, and I'm sure those beginning moments were why I found a slim saving grace by catching his left wrist and clinging tight even though he yanked it again and again to come at me with everything he had.<br />
<br />
"Dumb bitch! You should have left us alone!" the jerk yelled.<br />
"What? Can't get it up anywhere besides the library? Pathetic!" I snapped. I blocked another punch with my forearm. "Or is it that you're upset because you were finally able to get it up even though you have to look at your girl's squashed-head, witch nose mess of a face?"<br />
<br />
I shouldn't have taunted him. I knew better than that. However, the pain was sinking in, and the guy having easily gained dominance over me only seemed to heighten his lust for violence. Me sniveling and cowering pitifully didn't feel like it would accomplish anything either.<br />
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"Shut up!" he shouted louder.<br />
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A few more hits came before he couldn't get past my forearm anymore. My nails dug deep into his wrist until sticky, warm drops of blood coated my fingertips. The guy swore and yelped, changing his efforts to peeling my grip off him. He clearly thought when I let go he'd achieved the best situation to keep at his undeserved revenge. However, the only thing he achieved was, in fact, moving in a way that presented me the perfect opportunity to jam my knee up right between his legs. He heaved, gasped, and slumped briefly to the side.<br />
<br />
I pushed hard on my hands to yank myself back. Perhaps the promise of freedom granted me foolish security, for I paused for the briefest of moments to try to process what was truly going on. The jerk made good use of that moment. He recovered quickly to now clench his iron fingers around my ankle. Tiny stones one the ground scrapped the soft parts of my calves and thighs in the worst way. As I flailed instead of maintaining composed to properly block whatever came next, and so the guy went for something worse than before. One hand clenched my hands together behind my back pulling my arms in a painful, unnatural angle. Should he decide to slam all his weight down on my chest, my bones would surely break. His other hand sunk his fingers as a vice around my throat.<br />
<br />
"Try to say something stupid now," he growled in my ear.<br />
<br />
I gasped for air. Now the panic swept over me fast. I sucked in the faintest of breaths, and as soon as the jerk heard that his fingers pressed tighter. My chest flared with stinging heat. Instinctively, I thought back to the days when I trained for the diving expedition. I'd lost my ability to hold my breath for so long due to lack of practice, but surely if I got control of myself for one damn second I could bring something of it back. If only. Blocking off my air supply had always been a choice before. This was forced, unprepared. Ringing numbed my hearing, and colors blanched as darkness lurked the rims of my vision.<br />
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Was he trying to kill me? Even as my kicking and thrashing flailed, the one who pushed harder to keep my throat stuck showed no sign of stopping. I thought he'd just hit me until he tired. That he'd choke me until I was on the verge of passing out. Well, that transition of consciousness to unconsciousness was here. I'd be out in a second. Here in this isolated location with no one around and no one besides the girlfriend even knowing he and I had any sort of contact there was no evidence to pin him if he took it too far. He was taking the matter this far already just for being told to leave the library. Could I really be being killed for interrupting a make-out session?<br />
<br />
My thoughts numbed even as panic pounded against my rib cage. For one solemn second I couldn't help contemplate if dying was truly the worst thing in the world. Grandpa and Dad scoffed at the idea of an ultimate creator, living in a lifestyle dominated by science. I thought the idea interesting myself, but actually believing in a higher being wasn't my way either. If there was something, and I could see Mom, meet my sister, live in absolute peace...then why should I try so hard to stick to this miserable life?<br />
<br />
But that second passed. My weakening legs put forward one last burst of effort. I shook left and right desperately reaching for freedom. Neither worked. All I could feel was the icy chill snaking through my veins from my chest. Bitter frigidness coiled around my limbs. A gasp would have escaped my lips if possible at the building swell catching around my heart. That chill, it oozed with the sensation of blood pouring from a wound, and yet it wound its way upward to what beat slower and slower. Pockets of glowing brightness punctured the darkness that was nearly my world. More and more it gathered until it consumed everything. Like the furious notes speeding toward the height of a crescendo, the swell raced to its breaking point.<br />
<br />
And when it unleashed, a peaceful hum and comfort of release distracted me from reality. How the jerk's expression contorted in alarm. How he was blasted off me, thrown into the air, and crashed into an empty oil drum and shabby crates in front of me.<br />
<br />
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<br />
The first sensation to return was relief. My lungs flared and drank greedily of the air filling them relentlessly. That was why sound and touch flittered back to be mine. It was why my sight cleared. Of course it was. My breathing steadied faster than expected, although hefting myself to my hands and knees was as if gravity doubled. That heart of mine thrown for a loop for the contact racing and slower jumped several beats when I caught glimpse of the jerk. He groaned and couched slowly pushing himself up as well. I must have kicked him back and kicked him back really hard.<br />
<br />
"You..." he whispered.<br />
<br />
His voice was full of terror. His face, now devoid of rage and confidence, showed nothing but horror. The oil drum echoed low as he pressed his back against it trying to get as far away from me as possible.<br />
<br />
"What's wrong with your eyes?!"<br />
<br />
I tilted my head, confused. Had a punch or the choking popped a blood vessel to turn my eyes red? It should be blinding me then, shouldn't it? I turned more towards the guy, but he whimpered and backed even further away.<br />
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<br />
The pounding of mad footsteps signaled danger for a second time. Danger for the jerk. An orange flash appeared in the corner of our vision. It slowed shortly to glimpse at my shaken form, and the guy jumped to his feet when Leo's raging glower snapped his way. He gained a short head start. Unfortunately for him, Leo proved he was well named indeed. Like a furious lion he followed relentlessly immediately turning the predator into prey.<br />
<br />
"I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" the jerk pitifully cried over his shoulder. It had as much effect as one would expect from a whimper of a caught animal held by a hungry cat.<br />
<br />
I didn't turn and look as Leo caught him by the arms to tackle him to the ground and return the damage he'd done to me<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> more from shock than from fear of seeing those punches hit again and again.<br />
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<br />
Leo, unlike the idiot underneath him, had the sense not to take it too far. He ceased his attacks right at that limit where the vengeance became overdone. The guy still had enough strength of his own to leap back to his feet again and scurry off at Leo's release. I did glance to watch, although he vanished behind the hill and tall grass in seconds. Much of the weight holding me down vanished then. My lungs filled themselves with deep breaths even now. I tried to hide that labored nature when Leo knelt before me. It was true his expression softened considerably, yet fury continued to narrow his stare.<br />
<br />
"Cinnamon, what were you thinking?" he rebuked. He gave me a chance to answer, but I wasn't sure what he wanted. "You sent Lark back, and he expressed the weirdness of the situation to alert us something was up like I'm sure you wanted. It took me too long to find you though. You should have just come back to the warehouse."<br />
"...I didn't want him to find out we were living there," I mumbled.<br />
"I would have rather he did. I know how to handle those situations. It would hardly be the first time someone stumbled upon us."<br />
"I...I'm sorry," I mumbled ever softer. "You're right. I was thinking stupidly."<br />
<br />
For the first time throughout this, tears blurred my sight and washed down my cheeks.<br />
<br />
"No," Leo instantly flustered. "No, I...agh. I'm sorry. Please don't cry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. You were trying to protect Lark, and you were trying to protect us. In truth, it is actually better he didn't get by the warehouse. I just wish keeping the location secret hadn't come at the expense of you being hurt."<br />
"So, you're welcome?" I joked weakly, my sore throat aching.<br />
"Thank you," Leo chuckled after scoffing.<br />
<br />
He offered me his hand, yet I couldn't take the smallest steps even if I shakily found footing. Leo gathered me in his arms without hesitation.<br />
<br />
"Just rest up. We'll get you patched up soon. I think you'll be able to make it."<br />
"An unforeseen diagnosis. I had no idea you were such a brilliant doctor," I joked again.<br />
"No more from you," Leo retorted to the quip teasingly. "Your voice sounds like a wood chipper."<br />
<br />
I smiled, nodded, and rest my heavy head against his warm shoulder.<br />
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<br />
I would have fallen asleep had a splitting headache not settled in quickly. Thankfully, Leo was comfy and steady as he brought me to the warehouse. That was when I got swarmed with attention. Larkspur was beside himself what with the bruising starting to show, but I comforted him saying he'd done well in understanding what I'd asked of him. Coral pulled me into her and Leo's room afterwards.<br />
<br />
"You're going to be sore for a while and have some headaches, but you shouldn't have any problems past that. It'd quite lucky for how bad this bruising is getting. You don't even have a broken nose," she explained after washing my face, rubbing some creams, and having me hold an ice pack for a bit.<br />
"I was worried about that. The bruising is pretty bad though?"<br />
"Yeah. I recommend not working until it fades. There'll be a lot of unwanted suspicion as to how you got it."<br />
"That's fair. What about my eyes?"<br />
"Your eyes?"<br />
"The guy said something was wrong with my eyes. He seemed freaked out about it."<br />
"That's a weird thing for him to say when he's been beating you up. Let me look."<br />
<br />
Coral gently pulled my head close to her and inspected carefully. I looked this way and that per her instructions, but she shrugged.<br />
<br />
"I don't see anything wrong. I just see you being as cute as ever."<br />
"Coral," I giggled.<br />
"What? You are cute." She squeezed me tight and brushed my hair back sweetly.<br />
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<br />
The comforting touch calmed the giant ball of ache that was my head. However, the touch also twinged my core somberly. This moment was too bittersweet, and Coral picked up on the pull of my expression.<br />
<br />
"What is it?" she wondered.<br />
"Oh, I'm just going to miss you," I admitted.<br />
"Jess and Tulip did mention that they told you Leo and I would be off soon."<br />
"Do you have any clarification as to how soon?"<br />
"The end of next month at the latest."<br />
"I see..."<br />
<br />
I was disappointed, likely because I'd been overestimating my version of 'soon'. My assumption was Jessamine and Tulip would get a guaranteed place before Leo and Coral made the official announcement. Then there'd be a grace period of several months as leadership was properly handled over. But, no, it looked to be Leo and Coral were aiming to go almost as soon as the other two did find a place they could agree on.<br />
<br />
"Sad?" Coral noted.<br />
"I'm sad," I had to say. "Of course I'd be. I know the age difference between us is hardly big enough for me to really consider you my mom, but...you're the closest thing I ever had to one. That's why I do want you to go. You deserve it more than anything."<br />
"Cinnamon..." Coral cooed, her eyelashes furiously blinking back tears. "I'm honored, and I'm just as glad I've gotten to know you. Leo and I are going to miss all of you tremendously as well.There's no way we're not going to come visit when we get the chance, especially..."<br />
"Especially?"<br />
"Do you want to be the holder of another secret? One that only Leo knows so far?" Coral asked merrily.<br />
"I can't say no to that temptation."<br />
"You say you've been able to see me as something of a mom. Everyone here has jokingly referred to me as that too, and Leo as a dad. Well, we're finally going to be those things for real," Coral beamed.<br />
"Ah..." The news took a moment to sink in. I hugged her tight. "Coral! That's amazing!"<br />
"It's part of why we're pushing our timetable as fast as we can. Leo and I want to move and get settled to adjust to something new before another something new shakes our lives up again. Of course, we want to bring the baby to meet all of you."<br />
"I look forward to it," I grinned impossibly wide.<br />
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<br />
Coral and I giggled like schoolgirls as I asked her everything I could think of. She'd had an ultrasound to confirm there was only one baby, but it was obviously too soon to know the sex. The pregnancy had been planned. Leo and Coral wanted to hold a poll before they left to get name suggestions, although they were going to have the final say no matter the vote. My chipper mood when I walked out of the room had me bouncing on my feet. I'd nearly forgotten about the whole situation with the jerk. Pieter, who must have just gotten back, hurrying up the stairs with a face rigid with panic slammed the memories back hard. He was next to me in a breath, taking in my face and embracing me tight.<br />
<br />
"Leo told me what happened."<br />
"I'm okay," I reassured, seeing him wear the exact same expression that Leo wore when he knelt before me.<br />
"You shouldn't have put yourself in such danger!"<br />
<br />
There it was.<br />
<br />
"Leo already gave me a little lecture. It was a difficult situation to judge, okay? That guy must have been taking ninja lessons since he was a toddler since I kept constant vigilance as I walked. I thought it was nothing more than my paranoia, the fact that no one has tried to hurt me since Gravel."<br />
"How were you so sure he was going to hurt you before he did? Why was he even attacking you?"<br />
"Oh. Well, the guy and his girlfriend were making out and getting handsy in the silent computer room at the library. They were rude to me, so I let the librarian know what was going on. The two ended up getting kicked out. I guess they waited for me to leave, because the dragged me to the side of a building to get revenge. The guy got one swipe before I ran away. I met up with Lark, I had him come back alone, I went a different way in case someone followed, and...that was the lead up."<br />
"You didn't do anything wrong," Pieter noted in a sigh. "Still, just to keep things safe we should all stay out of other people's business even if getting petty revenge is satisfying. We should look into getting you a cheap, pay-plan cell phone too."<br />
"Not a bad thought."<br />
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<br />
Calming, the last of irritation faded from Pieter's face. I mustered my biggest smile and coy eyes full of stars.<br />
<br />
"I really am fine," I said.<br />
"You saying that doesn't work well with half your face swollen and nearly black. It must hurt."<br />
"A kiss should make it better." I guided his lips to mine, and Pieter complied for a moment.<br />
"You seriously are being more affectionate than normal. It does make me feel something's off," he chuckled.<br />
"Kissing doesn't make me hot and bothered, but it makes me feel safe," I explained. "Does that reassure you?"<br />
"It does, yeah. I've always thought you just tolerated it, so to have you initiate it seemed weird."<br />
"Kiss me whenever you wish. If there is a moment I don't truly want it, I'll let you know."<br />
<br />
Pieter listened carefully and nodded. He looked more at ease.<br />
<br />
"Speaking of safety, Leo told me that guy didn't get close to the warehouse."<br />
"Correct," I confirmed.<br />
"I do worry though. Despite Leo saying how he ran off with his tail between his legs, what if he chose to follow or comes exploring? If that's true, and he snitches..."<br />
"You don't need to fret. Had you seen him, it'd be clear choosing to dodge our steps was the last thing on his mind."<br />
"Still, I could relax more if we stayed at my house tonight."<br />
"You want to stay at your house?" I repeated, shocked.<br />
"I do."<br />
<br />
Pieter's worry was more intense than I thought if he would rather spend all that time at his house.<br />
<br />
"I don't mind. We can go," I accepted.<br />
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<br />
Pieter squished me happily. He went off to gather some of his things, and I went around to do the same for myself. This led me to dig out my old bookbag and stuff clothes, a few toiletries, and whatnot within. The quick search brought me to the room Ruby rested in. She looked better and more comfortable but still cringed when she sat up.<br />
<br />
"You just have to be the center of attention, huh?" she asked, although her tone teased.<br />
"What?"<br />
"I got bedridden by bad period cramps, and you had to one-up me by getting your face punched in."<br />
"Ah. Yes, the things we do to be number one, right?" I joked back.<br />
"And now you're planning some great escape?" Ruby pointed to the bookbag.<br />
"Pieter's worried about the guy finding the warehouse. I told him that wouldn't happen," I explained properly. "He wants to stay the night out in case that extremely rare situation occurs."<br />
"Where are you staying?"<br />
"Pieter knows a safe place."<br />
"A hotel?"<br />
"No. I don't think a hotel would let teenagers rent a room anyway."<br />
"Well, have fun wherever you're going." She paused, and I couldn't stop the words she spoke despite knowing they were coming. "But not <i>too</i> much fun."<br />
"There's no risk of that, so I'll be following your instruction regardless."<br />
"No risk of that? With a teenage boy? Really?"<br />
"Maybe he wants to, but I don't. So we won't."<br />
"You don't want to even a <i>little</i>?"<br />
"Feel better, Ruby." I rubbed my temples. "You would think experiencing painful cramps would take your mind off sex for one moment."<br />
"You would think," Ruby laughed.<br />
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<br />
I didn't need much more as Mr. Clay had the rest of the essentials. Pieter linked his arm in mine protectively as we walked, and we hailed a cab as soon as possible to avoid the endless stares of people on the street. The cab driver constantly glancing in the mirror to look at my face was bad enough. The relief sweeping over me at entering Pieter's house proved irresistible indeed. What made it better was that Mr. Clay was nowhere to be found. I worried at first, but Pieter reminded me his dad did have to go out occasionally to shop. I rested on the couch while he searched through the fridge. I meant to help him, but the quiet house with just the two of us surged up a series of thoughts that had me gazing forlorn at the floor while I nervously rubbed my hands together.<br />
<br />
"You okay, Nutmeg?" Pieter noticed after a few minutes.<br />
"Um, maybe. I've just been thinking." I hesitated, and Pieter let me be until I was ready. "You know, there was an incident not long before the government raided us. Dad said he wanted my help with an experiment. While he said it was testing out that music-laser toy, I...I realize now, thinking on it, that that was a lie. We were playing when my throat suddenly closed up and I couldn't breathe. Dad acted so calmly and gave me an injection that cleared it up. But, in hindsight, it's strange that he had the solution so close at hand. I remember him checking his watch before he helped me. He...he must have drugged me. That was the real experiment. I was being used as a test for something like that."<br />
"Nutmeg..." Pieter whispered, at a loss for words. "I'm, I'm so sorry. That's horrible."<br />
"Dad must have done things like that in the past, which is why Grandpa got so angry at him before and after. He knew what was going on."<br />
"I..."<br />
"I shouldn't be surprised. Mr. Flaxen told me I was an experiment, but I just thought he meant an experiment for how a child should be raised in isolation with the lies The Company wished to tell. What if...what if there was so much more done though? What if I was drugged other times? What if my body was tampered with in some way?" I inspected my shaking hands.<br />
<br />
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<br />
Pieter returned the package of cheese to the fridge before sitting next to me on the couch. The shoulder he offered I instantly clutched and cuddled to like a scared child.<br />
<br />
"If there was experimentation done to you, one would think the results would have shown by now, right? You're as normal as one can be from what I've seen," he spoke, presenting logic.<br />
"I've heard a voice for the longest time now. It's rare, but I can't deny it anymore. Sometimes I feel hands on my shoulders. When that guy attacked me, he was gotten off of me somehow before Leo came. I think I did it, but I don't remember the moment. He was absolutely terrified of me once I came to. He said something was wrong with my eyes."<br />
"Oh." I'd thrown off that logic instantly. "Well, tell me about the voice first. Does it sound like a man or woman, or would you say it's more the voice of instinct?"<br />
"It's a definite voice. A woman's. It usually says something helpful, but I can never talk back to it. The sensation of the hands is the same. It's as if something within me can sense incoming danger, and it tries to pull me away from it."<br />
"The Company is far head of normal technology. What if you've got some kind of chip installed in your head? Like an A.I. assistant like you see in movies, but because the place got raided it never was set to work as it should?"<br />
"That...makes the most sense out of any idea I've considered, but I suppose I've just been considering that I'm mad," I exhaled, pushing a lot of stress out of my system.<br />
"Voices or no, you're not mad." Pieter pressed his head upon mine.<br />
"What do you think about what happened with the guy though?"<br />
"I don't know if I do know. It was likely that rush of super-human strength you get when in intense situations. Maybe you misheard him too. It likely wasn't that there was something wrong with your eyes but that he was afraid of your death glare."<br />
"Maybe," I said, less certain.<br />
<br />
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<br />
I shifted to Pieter's lap when the worrying still made my skin crawl. He welcomed me without question while the conversation that didn't yield much for answers, even though it never could have, didn't present me something else. I told Pieter I'd heard voices, felt ghostly appendages, and blacked-out during a moment of impossible strength. He hadn't shown a single hint of rejection. All of it he instantly accepted, and he attempted to make sense of it alongside me instead of dismissing it as imagination.<br />
<br />
"There's one more thing," I mumbled.<br />
"Yeah?"<br />
"I was talking to Cinnamon and Ruby earlier about where my house might be located. Ruby suggested it might be in that preservation park up north. Do you...do you think think you can help me look it up on those internet satellite maps? I'm too scared to do it myself."<br />
"Because you might actually find your house?"<br />
"Yeah."<br />
"If you want to, I'll help you. Just as long as you're sure."<br />
"I'd like to try," I nodded.<br />
<br />
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<br />
My hand stayed firmly clenched in his as we made our way to the office on the second floor. Pieter's eyes narrowed as soon as we stepped inside.<br />
<br />
"Hang on, has Dad still not replaced this hunk of junk? It was ancient even when we first got it. This has really been what you've been using for study this whole time?"<br />
"It does run slow, but I don't mind. It's not my place to demand your dad buy a new computer either."<br />
"You can. You have my permission. It's the least his barely useful butt can do."<br />
"Let's bring up the map for now."<br />
<br />
I truly didn't mind the computer, but with Pieter being upset about it the long boot-up and wait for the pages to load stretched out twice as long as normal. He tapped his fingers irritably and only calmed when the map loaded.<br />
<br />
"If we zoom out and go north, it shouldn't take long before we get to the park's area. It'll be..."<br />
<br />
I held my breath as the great distance was covered in mere seconds.<br />
<br />
"Right here."<br />
<br />
Pieter and I leaned in. My expression flattened, and he leaned back in the chair with his arms folded. The entire area of the park was covered up with a tan blotch with repeated text of 'Map Not Available.'<br />
<br />
"This proves this area is the right one though. If it was merely a conservation area, there'd be no reason to hide it," Pieter said. "I'm sorry. You got something of an answer, but not the full one."<br />
"It's okay." I shook my head and then pointed on the screen. "This is more than you'd expect. See this large river running throughout the blockage? This is the only one big enough to be the river I played in. The river ran this direction, and our house faced this way. If the river comes out of the block here..." I muttered to myself, doing the mental work. I eventually circled a southwest section of what we couldn't see. "The house is likely around here."<br />
"We could always try to sneak there."<br />
"If the location is still being kept hidden after all these years, then the buildings weren't left to simply decay. The space was re-purposed or they're at least watching it."<br />
"Well, it sounds like a fun adventure if you ever want to try."<br />
"I'll keep it in mind," I managed to laugh a little.<br />
<br />
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<br />
Pieter and I returned downstairs not long after the front door opened and closed. The crumple of plastic bags hinted Mr. Clay had indeed been shopping, and we found him putting away groceries when he came into view. He glanced back for a brief moment, nodded, and returned to his work. Pieter scoffed and rolled his eyes the other way yet was content to leave it at that. Things only fell apart when I did one simple thing.<br />
<br />
"Hello, Mr. Clay. It's nice to see you again," I greeted.<br />
<br />
Mr. Clay shifted again. However, as he went to nod a second time he got a better look at my face. Proper emotion tinted his expression for the first time since I'd known him. His eyes narrowed momentarily in anger, and that hint of rebuke fell upon Pieter.<br />
<br />
"Excuse me!?" Pieter shouted as soon as he saw. "What the hell do you think you're doing giving <i>me</i> that kind of look?! You think <i>I'm</i> the one who did this?! Sure, Nutmeg's just hanging out with the one who beat her face in no problem! What kind of bullshit logic is that?!"<br />
"Pieter..." I gently held his arm, but he shook me off.<br />
"You have some nerve looking down on me when you're the worthless excuse for a person! You've failed in every possible way, so if you dare for one second<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>!"<br />
"Pieter," I begged harder. The shouting and rage reminding me of earlier wasn't doing me any favors. My voice quivered, and I blinked back tears. Pieter inhaled deeply, although he still shook.<br />
"I come home for the first time in forever, and you do nothing but show me why I don't come around! You should be thankful Nutmeg bothers! If you care at all, replace that hunk of junk computer upstairs with something she can actually study on properly!" He stomped past his father towards the front door. "I'm going on a walk!"<br />
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<br />
The door slammed with the force of a cannon. The silence that followed proved just as deafening. Mr. Clay had returned to his emotionless mask while his shoulders slumped further like a defeated animal in a corner. When I said nothing, he slowly began putting away the groceries again. I stepped out on the front porch. Pieter was already out of sight. Despite being able to catch up to him if I wanted, he clearly needed time alone.<br />
<br />
"Mr. Clay?" I said after going back inside a few minutes later. He stuck the plastic bags in the recycling and didn't reply. "You don't have to buy a new computer. I really don't mind the one you have. It's taught me patience if nothing else."<br />
<br />
I hardly anticipated a reaction from my weak joke, and I didn't get one.<br />
<br />
"You know," I started tentatively, deciding to speak what I'd wanted for a while, "I can't imagine what it is like to lose a child. I do know what it's like to have your life fall apart though. To have such happiness, and then to have that happiness haunt you as everything that's broken fills you with dread when you think about the future. About what pain will always be there, about the meager scraps that barely seem enough to keep you going. You, however, have much more than a scrap. Pieter still cares. He cares so much, and it's why he gets angry. It's an easy solution in his mind. He just wants you to be his parent again. The unconditional money, having total freedom...it's not his wish. It's simply...normal. That's what he's looking for."<br />
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<br />
Mr. Clay didn't move. His gaze focused out the window, barely blinking. I took a big step forward not having that at all. A strange bubble of noise popped out his mouth at me tossing my arms around him for a massive hug. Mr. Clay squirmed for a second, yet confusion weakened his struggle while empowering my grasp. He soon ceased fighting altogether.<br />
<br />
"It wasn't the longest after I met Pieter when I realized he was starved for a kind touch. It didn't occur to me, despite it being obvious, that you would be the same way. I definitely don't think you're a bad person, Mr. Clay. You've been failing your son, but that doesn't mean things can't be right. Forgiveness is there. Happiness is there. You simply have to try."<br />
<br />
I squeezed him tighter. Hesitant and slow as a turtle, Mr. Clay lightly returned the hug. I smiled.<br />
<br />
"I'll let you in on a secret Pieter probably doesn't want you to know. He's going to get his GED, find a job, and move us into an apartment building when we turn eighteen. I think there's a better path though, for all of us. If you do just try, I'm sure Pieter can call this place home again. Instead of a family of two, we could be a family of three. That would be nice, wouldn't it?"<br />
<br />
After a pause, Mr. Clay's head dipped again. My smile grew wider at his hold growing slightly more confident. Then...<br />
<br />
"Nutmeg?" Mr. Clay asked.<br />
<br />
It wasn't the first time I'd heard him speak. Far from it. His voice simply stunned me with how quiet and frail it was.<br />
<br />
"Yes?" I replied brightly. My chest sunk a second later as realization slapped my stupidity. Mr. Clay hadn't been addressing me. He'd been questioning the name. The name Pieter only ever called when it was the two of us. I stammered hard. "Oh, I-I'm...th-that's not, uh..."<br />
"It's fine. Whatever your real name is, you're welcome here."<br />
<br />
My cheeks burning, I squeezed tighter still.<br />
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<br />
Pieter got a talking-to about the slip up when he returned. He apologized for that and the yelling. While I attempted to use his need to earn back brownie points to get him to talk to his dad, it wasn't happening. Pieter stubbornly insisted repayment would be him cooking dinner and making a grand desert. I sighed but accepted. Mr. Clay seemed on board with at least thinking about giving my idea a go. Baby steps were better than nothing.<br />
<br />
And so, a fine dinner and dessert was had while watching television and movies. Mr. Clay kindly stayed out of our way so as to not set Pieter off again and took Pieter's room to leave the bigger one to us. He did this every time I stayed over.<br />
<br />
"Wow, was I missing some signals or something?"<br />
<br />
I'd clearly stayed over too many times though and made myself too comfortable. Pieter walked out of the master bath to find me in my underwear. I swore I turned red from the heat.<br />
<br />
"<i>Shit</i>, I<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>" I panicked. "I-I sleep in here when I stay the night, and y-you were taking so long in the bathroom I forgot you were around. I w-was just changing into my nightclothes..."<br />
"Well, I've seen you in a bikini, so it's nothing new, right?" Pieter laughed, bringing back the conversation with Cinnamon and Ruby.<br />
"I..."<br />
<br />
I clenched my eyes, and jerked around trying to cover my face and my very exposed body all at once. I naturally failed spectacularly. Pieter coming close froze my muscles, but he had merely taken off his jacket and wrapped it around my front. He then squished us in an embrace and locked his eyes with mine so I knew they weren't roving.<br />
<br />
"Don't worry. I know you're not there yet, and I don't think I'm there yet either. Just don't tempt me too long. I do have an imagination at the very least, and it's that which will cause problems," Pieter laughed.<br />
"My apologies," I giggled. "I'll fix it. Turn around."<br />
"As you wish," Pieter stepped back and bowed.<br />
<br />
And then he closed his eyes tight and faced the main door. I hurriedly changed and attacked his side with tickles after throwing his jacket at his head.</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-54003273183132558772020-02-24T15:08:00.000-05:002020-02-24T15:08:01.457-05:00Today's Update<div style="text-align: justify;">
The posting of the short story probably makes it clear, but I've unfortunately reached a week already where I have to hold off on the main story. It feels like something always pops up at the last second to stall my work, haha. This week it was someone side-swiping my mom while she borrowed my car (she's fine) and then her car abruptly not working. I really like how this short story came out though, so I hope you don't mind popping back in time while I have the week to write the next chapter and prep for the next.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Kelsey</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-83531169428775444842020-02-24T14:59:00.002-05:002020-02-24T14:59:48.647-05:00Color My World Short Story #11<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Staring at the scene before me didn't flash my memories back. It bludgeoned them into my face at 100 miles per hour. How vividly I recalled the day I came home from work to find plums lining the windowsills, kitchen counters, and the dining table. That was Dahlia's way of announcing her first pregnancy to me. It was also her apology. The pregnancy hadn't been planned, and she'd been having one of her exploration periods with another guy. She'd used all sorts of protection with him and none with me, so the likelihood was the child was mine, but Dahlia was hung up on the fact that the child had a minuscule chance of belonging to that other man. I said I found no fault in the situation<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> she'd had my permission to be with the him and protection was never foolproof. However, the plums were Dahlia's way of needlessly appeasing me. Boy or girl, I'd wanted our first child to be named Plum. The fruits were her agreeing to give me that wish without any challenge. The daughter that came that was indeed mine then became a big sister to the twin girls that followed. She cooed over them the way Gilly and Dianthus, twins, gushed over their singular little brother.<br />
<br />
"I want to hold him. Can I hold him?" Gilly glanced back to us, eyes shining.<br />
"You cannot. It's time for you and your sister to go help your Mama Lia clean her living room. That's your apology for making that huge mess the other day, remember?" Amaranth said.<br />
"But it was mostly Apple who did it!" Gilly whined.<br />
"Saying 'mostly' just means you did still have a part in it," I pointed out.<br />
<br />
Gilly stuck her tongue out at my smirk.<br />
<br />
"The faster we clean, the faster we can come back," Dianthus reasoned. She bounced on her heels excitedly when looking at her brother, as if she might suddenly jump high into the sky.<br />
"That's true," Gilly accepted.<br />
"Get going then. Look both ways before you go across the street," Amaranth instructed.<br />
"We know!" Dianthus replied proudly.<br />
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<br />
My heart raced lightly watching the two race off with Amaranth playfully threatening tickling fingers their way. Gilly and Dianthus were old enough for us to entrust them with that responsibility. Dianthus especially remained aware of her surroundings at all time. They'd gone back and forth between Amaranth's house and mine plenty of times now without issue. However, I suppose it was only natural for me as a parent and grandparent to fret over the safety of little ones.<br />
<br />
"These two," Amaranth sighed and shook his head after replying to a text message.<br />
"Coal and Holly?"<br />
"Yeah."<br />
"I thought you banned them from calling or texting to see how Merlot was doing while they're at the spa?"<br />
"I did, but they said they wouldn't be able to relax properly without one last confirmation."<br />
"How dare they care about the condition of their child?" I joked, obviously understanding their uncontrollable inability to stop fretting. "Especially when they've got us on babysitting duty?"<br />
"You would think they would have learned to trust us by now," Amaranth joked along.<br />
<br />
I dropped the bar on the crib to begin picking Merlot up. The expression on his face had scrunched. He was either about to cry for attention or he was pooping. Regardless, he needed to be picked up. The air tinged with somberness in the silence that followed. Amaranth and I never joked like this in Coal and Holly's actual presence. The fact that we did when they were gone usually brought up slight guilt like it was now. The only pregnancy from our generation that had any real risks was Ethereal's with Glade. Coal and Holly though...my daughter had been cursed with constant misery doing her best to carry the twins to full term. The doctors had even mentioned at the beginning the idea of abortion for Holly to have treatments to hopefully make a safer pregnancy the next time around. Her and Coal's glares had shut them up. Then there'd been the miscarriages. God, seeing how broken Holly became nearly broke me.<br />
<br />
And so Merlot, the child that came after fighting through all those difficulties, was bound to be overprotected by his parents.<br />
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Merlot's scrunched face relaxed as I held him. With one little bounce and tickle of his arm, he smiled and gurgled a happy bubble from his lips. Good. He had only wanted attention then. I pressed a kiss into his squishy cheek, not being able to stop myself from being a grandparent obsessed with such a delight, and beamed wide at his grin growing bigger.<br />
<br />
"Glad to finally have another boy in your family?" Amaranth wondered lightheartedly.<br />
"You bet," I laughed.<br />
<br />
I didn't mind the fact that girls dominated my life, but it was a little mind-boggling that everyone aside from the tiny newborn in my arms had been female. There was Plum. There was Holly and Mimosa. Plum had Daisy, Iris, and Mayflower. Obviously all girls. Mimosa had Ember and Rosey. Then there was naturally Gilly and Dianthus. That was some consistent roll of the dice.<br />
<br />
"I think though..." I mumbled.<br />
"Hmm?"<br />
"The thought that's more on my mind," I began, smiling madly, "is how damn weird this is."<br />
"What do you mean?"<br />
"Look at this baby!"<br />
"What of him?" Amaranth frowned.<br />
"Red skin. Red hair. <i>Your</i> red. But purple eyes. <i>My</i> eyes. Merlot is of you and me," I pointed to each of us, "and we've never really addressed the fact that he, Ember, Gilly, and Dianthus are <i>our</i> grandchildren. Damn. Seriously, I never would have imagined that we would share descendants."<br />
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<br />
That silly smile on my face soon mirrored on Amaranth's. He nodded and chuckled along.<br />
<br />
"It is weird, and you're right. Despite Ember being almost ten, in that near decade we haven't considered the strange turns of life." He shrugged. "It's probably because you and I have considered each other family for so long. Then there was always Mimosa's attraction to Coal, and Holly eventually dating him. We subtly knew the result that would come along eventually. Thus, having the children be born didn't faze us at that point."<br />
"A fair point."<br />
"I think it's more strange to think about the other 'connections' that could have happened in addition to our children marrying and us sharing grandchildren."<br />
"What do you mean?" I asked, confused at their bizarre, amused grimace on his expression.<br />
"Oh, I'm mostly referring to Dahlia's old insistence on that foursome." Amaranth shook his head.<br />
"Hush your tongue." I sarcastically covered Merlot's ears. "Also, keep your voice down. Lia has finally gotten over her hope of you, me, and her despite how many times we've said we find the idea disgusting. Her desperate ears might hear you even from here."<br />
"But causing her to pester you some more would be good revenge."<br />
"Revenge?"<br />
"It might be that Dahlia long ago told me of how you came to canoodle with my wife in her nights of tragic loneliness. Of how she believed you two likely would have taken it further had Ethereal not grown so sick," Amaranth spoke dramatically.<br />
<br />
In a rare moment, my cheeks burned with heat. My wife...seriously. She'd given me hints she'd talked to Amaranth about that one kiss, but I had no clue she'd told him about everything.<br />
<br />
"I-It wasn't canoodling. <i>Just</i> cuddling," I insisted before pouting. "Although, I...I can't say Lia's suspicions about where things might have gone are wrong..."<br />
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<br />
Amaranth placed a hand on my shoulder and graced me a more serious smile.<br />
<br />
"I'm just winding you up. As I told Dahlia, I suspected Ethereal would have moved on and at least be dating someone else. That she'd only had a brief fling with Spruce, that she'd only wanted <i>you</i> there to comfort her...it didn't bother me. It doesn't bother me."<br />
"Well, it is a relief to hear," I admitted.<br />
<br />
In the quiet that followed now, the blush continued to tickle my cheeks as my lips demanded to stay in their smile. I scoffed.<br />
<br />
"God, we truly are weird, aren't we?"<br />
"Probably. Why do you say that though?"<br />
"This whole conversation!" I threw my one free hand in the air. "Of foursomes and threesomes, of having shared your wife, potentially having sex with her if things had been different, and you not caring! I think most men would be creeped out to the extreme or lean towards throwing punches."<br />
"True. But, I mean, you're you. I'm outside the average as well<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> not even considering sexual attraction to anyone, male or female, as the feelings didn't come at all until it was clear Ethereal was the one."<br />
"Yes, you and your noble gentleman-ness of having one true soulmate," I bantered. Then I instantly shut up. If it was terrible to joke of Coal and Holly worrying over the son they'd struggled to have, it wasn't any better to joke of Amaranth's deep connection to Ethereal. I mumbled my apology. "Sorry. I shouldn't be so casual about that. I...I still don't know how she survived having you missing, and how you're surviving having her gone. You're really strong."<br />
"I survive for the same reason Ethereal didn't give up. She's not here, but there's so much love left for me to have. It's more than enough to keep me going until we reunite." Amaranth's eyes glazed nostalgically while he held Merlot's hand. "So I'm glad we have this weird family. I'm glad you're weird, I'm weird, and we can be weird together."<br />
"Same," I agreed. Yet I put my hand on my hip. "One more thing though. What do you mean by I'm <i>me</i>?"<br />
"You know what I mean." Amaranth impishly refused to answer.<br />
<br />
Him walking away was annoying enough. However, Merlot instantly proceeded to scrunch his face once his other grandfather was out the door, and this time it was definitely not for need of attention.</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-30529518549948324092020-02-17T13:33:00.000-05:002020-02-17T13:33:01.562-05:00Gen Four- Chapter Seventeen<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
Cinnamon bounced and skipped as we walked along, which brought a big stupid grin to my own face as well. We all clung to what made us happiest to deal with the extra stresses in our life. However, I couldn't fathom how she continued to get such overflowing joy at going to the spa after all these years. Cinnamon and Tulip forever went multiple times a week. How it hadn't become absolutely monotonous, who could say? I ran my fingers over the freshly blossomed flowers on my left while letting her ramble on about what kind of package she wanted. Perhaps to her the spa was her coffee. Something that made her function and left her grumpy when not taken advantage of.</div>
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"Mmm! The air smells so good today. Fresh and clean!" Ruby, walking in front, gushed, stretching her arms high into the sky.</div>
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"That's true. I'm sure it's the flowers nearby, but it's like we've stepped into an endless field of heaven," Cinnamon imagined gleefully.</div>
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She and Ruby glanced at me. I shrugged with a light smile.</div>
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<br /></div>
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"It's alright."</div>
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Ruby clicked her tongue and put her hand on her hip.</div>
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"Just 'alright'?"</div>
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"It still smells like city to me. There's nowhere here that beats the serenity of where I grew up," I explained.</div>
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"You've never talked much of where you grew up," Cinnamon noted. "Is it nearby? What was it like?"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"I don't believe it's too far. Perhaps an hour, an hour and a half. I<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"You're not sure where your hometown is?" Ruby raised a brow.<br />
"I don't have a hometown. Grandpa, Dad, and I lived in near isolation. We had a house settled amongst the hills and forests. I met the adults Grandpa and Dad worked with, and I had a private tutor. Other than that, I was left to my own devices most of the time. There was this river I played in. The crisp scent of water, the spice of the trees, the dampness of the ground, the sweetness of the flowers<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> it was idyllic. That's why Aspen Harbor will forever been tinted with the ick of car exhaust and garbage to me."<br />
"The situation might not have been perfect, but the place sounds like it," Cinnamon said.<br />
"I miss the stars the most. There wasn't any pollution, so you had the whole heavens out and bearing its soul for you each night. Imagine it as someone dumping that silver glitter you were obsessed with for a time onto an eternal canvas of the deep black, the richest purple, Cinnamon."<br />
"I want to go see!"<br />
"If it's only an hour and a half drive, I wonder if your place is that area up north. It's like a nature conservatory or something, but I've heard it's pretty closed off. Maybe you lived on the fringes of it."<br />
"That seems reasonable."<br />
<br />
I fiddled with my ribbons. Only now with this conversation and Ruby's words did I think of how easy it would be to pull up a map on the internet to see if I could catch a glimpse of anything familiar from the pictures satellites took.<br />
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<br />
But that was a matter for another time. I did not want to think of how little effort it might take to actually know how to get home if I wanted. I, least of all, did not care to imagine what because of the Scarlet Dawn office or the house once taken over by the police. It was perhaps thankful that us turning to corner to reveal the spa Cinnamon chose for our destination today got my mind stuck on another matter. I hadn't realized when Pieter brought us here, and I hadn't realized until that second the location of our destination<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> the spa and the apartment building Pieter wished to live in were right next to each other. Last night after I untangled myself from Pieter's lips I subtly hinted more approval at his idea of looking into making 'Cinnamon Holiday' legal. His eyes lit up like rays of sunlight streaming between storm clouds. My chest had buzzed with both relief and worry. The best way of describing it was standing at the edge of a dock above an endless expanse of bottomless water with nothing else solid to stand upon. Pieter was down in the water urging me it would all be fine. I trusted him, but I also knew should I move from the dock I would never be able to climb back on it again.<br />
<br />
So, the fact that Cinnamon, Ruby, and I walked into the spa to get treatment to soothe our worries away was a nice benefit.<br />
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<br />
We came out with glowing skin, relaxed shoulders, and lazy smiles. Little snacks came with the package, but our stomachs growled demanding to be content as the rest of our bodies were. Ruby wished to stop at a nearby food truck. I pulled us into a nice restaurant where they had boxed salads available to pick up and go. No sense in shoving greasy food and undoing the cleansing when a healthy option was right nearby.<br />
<br />
"That felt wonderful! I haven't been to the spa in years," Ruby remarked.<br />
<br />
We'd found our way to a peacefully nook. It boated a large fountain with comfy enough seats and a massive decorative nature piece bursting with newly bloomed flowers. The air lightened and brushed sweeter than before, but I still preferred the atmosphere of home.<br />
<br />
"I've gone once before," Ruby continued. "It was my sister's freshman of high school, and Mom was fussing over her first homecoming like it was her senior prom. Mom booked her and Garnet the most expensive package the night before. Garnet convinced her to add me in there too. Since the spa was having a deal where a three party or more reservation tacked on extra things for free, she agreed. We had a great time. I even managed to sneak into the hot tub for a few minutes."<br />
"That does sound like a wonderful time," Cinnamon said.<br />
"I eagerly counted the days until this past fall when I became a freshman. The stupid idea got into my brain that Mom would be just as excited for me as she was for my sister. However, she kept forgetting homecoming would be soon no matter how much I reminded her and Dad. I had to ask Garnet to have her tell them the information, because that's the lone way it stuck in their brains. Needless to say, I didn't get the spa trip." Ruby smoothed her skirt as she talked, and fidgeted when silence was her response. "Sorry. We're trying to have fun and relax. I don't need to be bringing down the mood with pointless stories."<br />
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<br />
I shook my head, and Cinnamon spoke up.<br />
<br />
"No need to feel that way. It's probably safe to say at home your family didn't make it feel like your words were worth anything. We're not like that. We're here to listen whenever you need someone to listen, even if it takes a while. Look what happened with Cinnamon. She's been here years, and this is the first time I've gotten to know some pretty basic details about her home."<br />
"I suppose. If you don't mind..." Ruby mumbled, uncertain about the amount of real support coming her way.<br />
"We don't mind. I've been curious, actually. You've told us how your parents treated you compared to your sister, but you haven't said much about your relationship with your sister. Did you get along? Do you hate her?" I wondered, prompting out more.<br />
"I don't...hate her. It's just that for how smart she is otherwise, Garnet's so oblivious to how I've been treated. She genuinely can't see how different they act, and whenever I complain or ask for help she's quick to excuse them. I know it's not her job or responsibility to fix the situation, but...I just want her to be on my side for once. Other than that, she's a good sister."<br />
"Did you think about running away to her first than running away completely? She started college in the fall, right?" Cinnamon wondered.<br />
"It wouldn't have been enough for me to run to her for the weekend. I would have just been treated like a toddler throwing a tantrum. No. I knew I had to get away entirely for the three of them to see this wasn't some small issue." Ruby smoothed her skirt again, embarrassed and guiltier than before. "I feel I have to apologize. For you guys, there's no other option. This is what you've have, and that's it. For me, I...plan to go home someday. Probably by the end of the year. Maybe a bit longer. Once I've had enough time to want to return, when enough time has passed for my family to indeed see this was an issue of their making. My parents care for me. I've seen hints of it plenty of time. They simply need this wake-up."<br />
"Hmm, I don't mind that either. My years here have shown me lots of various people with varying situations. Our lives aren't meant to be a competition of who has it worse. If you feel running away was necessary, we'll believe that. If you want to go home, we'll support that. The warehouse is intended to be a safe spot for whoever needs it," I explained.<br />
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<br />
Ruby stared at me for a moment and then smiled. It comforted me more than I could imagine, for that was the first real smile of hers ever thrown my way.<br />
<br />
"What about you, Cinnamon?" she asked. "I'm probably pulling up topic you've heard many times, Cinny, but I haven't heard the full story. Your Dad and Grandpa are in jail, and there was something about there being no option to go with other family. Is it that there's no family, or did they not want you?"<br />
"More...of the second." My mouth went dry. "Dad and Grandpa fed me lies growing up. Dad was especially manipulative. He couldn't feel anything, but he acted like he did. All my life I grew up thinking he loved me, but he saw me as a tool to use for whatever purposes he wished. Grandpa snitched when he couldn't stand the guilt anymore. I do have other family, my mom's family, but..." I shook my head again. "Dad had arranged for my aunt and uncle to be killed. My grandmother survived the attack he ordered on her too but was immobilized as a result. He kidnapped my mom, forced her to have me, killed my<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
<br />
Instinctive silent caught my near mistake. About to give away the existence of my dead twin, the emotions lunging and begging to lock the attention of the listening ears before me were dragged back into line as I took a deep breath.<br />
<br />
"He killed my mom, and then buried her in the backyard while telling me she'd donated her body for study as she wanted due to her wanting to be a doctor. So, it's not that my mom's family rejected me, but I left because, honestly, what was I to them? A stranger none of them had met, and a reminder of the great pains they'd been dealt."<br />
"...I didn't know most of that. Like about your mom. I knew she had died, but to have it be that way," Ruby mumbled. "You didn't give your family a try though? Maybe things might have been rough for a bit, but it's not like you were to blame for anything. They could have wanted you. They might want you."<br />
<br />
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<br />
Ruby glanced at Cinnamon for support. Cinnamon just shrugged. While I didn't doubt that she did share that similar opinion to Ruby, for she'd offered as much the previous afternoon, she knew it was a subject I didn't want pushed.<br />
<br />
"It's one of those things you know. Like how you knew your only choice was to leave home," I spoke before I lost control of the conversation. "But, yeah, that's my piece. I suppose we should give you your turn, Cinny."<br />
"My turn?"<br />
"What you feel about your uncle is obvious. What do you feel about your parents though? Do you ever think of contacting them now or in the future? That sort of thing."<br />
"My uncle can burn in hell. That's all I'll ever think of him. I guess in a way my parents remind me of your sister, Ruby. They were willingly blinding themselves to what was happening, and they made excuses left and right. It's not that they didn't love me, but they allowed me to be abused through their ignorance. I hate them too. I don't want to forgive them. I hope they've been living miserably, will live miserably with my absence. That probably makes you a much better person than I am though."<br />
"No," Ruby argued gently. "The situations are different. I was hurt, yes, but from my perspective I don't feel my pain can compare to yours. I'm just sorry you had to go through that. And you through yours, Cinnamon. And me through mine."<br />
"But life works in funny way. Now we're all together, and we've had this moment where we can understand each other," I said.<br />
"We let it get too depressing though, didn't we? I say we get back to the fun!" Cinnamon cheered.<br />
"Agreed. Let's go to the beach!" Ruby jumped to her feet.<br />
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<br />
I was okay with going to the beach at first. Then I heard the discussion of the plans the two in front of me were making. They didn't just want to go to the normal beach. They wanted to go the the quiet beach. The one all the way down south at the end of Aspen Harbor's limits. Cinnamon paid for a taxi, fair enough, but even with driving it took us almost twenty minutes to get there. Things didn't get better when we arrived.<br />
<br />
"So, Teach, what will be doing on Monday for class?" Ruby pondered as I sat down to make a sand pile.<br />
"I hope it's sex ed," Cinnamon smirked.<br />
"I said once I finish up what I have planned, then<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
"You should go ahead and get it over with. We'll stop bugging you afterwards," she teased.<br />
"I am not messing up my lesson plans to suit your juvenile giggles."<br />
"You know what I think it is?" Ruby smirked. "I think Cinnamon is avoiding it because she knows we'll try to prod too much into her and Pieter's sex life."<br />
"Wha<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>?" I sputtered. "That'd be a boring discussion, considering we don't have one."<br />
"Hmm? Realllly?"<br />
"<i>Really</i>."<br />
"That's perfect all the same though." Cinnamon matched Ruby's smirk and pulled her in cozy-like. "You <i>should</i> wait a few weeks. That way you can study, by making sure you and Pieter get some first-hand experience. The only real way to learn is by doing it yourself."<br />
"You are ridiculous." I gave the pair a look, but part of me forced down a laugh. "Honestly, I don't get it. Maybe it's because everything was explained to me young without worrying about pointless taboos, but why get so caught up on, ooo, a boob? Ooo, a <i>penis</i>."<br />
<br />
Cinnamon and Ruby instantly erupted into a fit of giggles.<br />
<br />
"See? <i>That</i>." I motioned to them. "It's merely another subject like math or history to me."<br />
"You're the odd one out then," Ruby said.<br />
"I'll be odd then. I'm still not changing my lessons."<br />
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<br />
Likely because of that conversation, the situation changed into something else that was more problematic for me. Cinnamon and Ruby were content to walk around and chat for a while as I worked on my sand pile, heaving more and more onto it until it was a sturdily impressive mount. However, Ruby began whining.<br />
<br />
"I want to go swimming." She cast her head to the sky and shuffle walked like a zombie.<br />
"We can swim tomorrow. We don't have suits or towels or anything," I said.<br />
"But it's supposed to rain tomorrow!"<br />
"I'm on your side, Ruby. I want to go swimming too. Who says we need suits? The sun can dry us plenty when we're done as well," Cinnamon swelled with enthusiasm.<br />
"You better not be saying you two should skinny dip."<br />
"No, I'm saying we three should strip," Cinnamon winked. "We've got underwear don't we?"<br />
"You can't wear your underwear to go swimming."<br />
"Why not? It covers the same amount as a bikini. Besides the different fabrics, the only other difference is that bikinis are intended to be seen and underwear is not. If we intend or don't care if people see us, then, yeah, we're basically in swimwear. This place is deserted too. People don't come here. They go to the easy to access beaches. Then, on the off chance people do come, if they see us, what will they think we're wearing?"<br />
"Bikinis," Ruby smiled wide.<br />
"Yup. And when we're done, like I said, the sun will dry us off in no time."<br />
"Have fun," I rejected.<br />
"You're so rigid sometimes," Cinnamon smiled.<br />
<br />
She and Ruby proceeded to strip before my eyes. We lived in close quarters and shared rooms. Obviously, I didn't care about seeing them in their underwear. No, I stood there watching them fool around in the shallow water keeping watch for anyone who might decided to make the long trek here as well. Unfortunately, Cinnamon and Ruby were relentless.<br />
<br />
"Cinnamon!" Cinnamon laughed at me in loving exasperation. "We're runaways! We ignore the rules and forge our own path! We're also teenagers! Rebel a little for once!"<br />
"Join us! Join us!" Ruby started chanting.<br />
"Join us! Join us!" Cinnamon mimicked.<br />
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<br />
They started splashing me. The sun blazed this day as it hadn't yet so far this year, and the touch of that cool water upon my skin beginning to ache taunted my defenses. I meekly glanced around. This spot of beach was rather small and bland. It was off a side road filled with pot holes. Most of the beach was hidden from that road by rows of tall grass. The beach season was only getting going, so even at the normal spots few people were there. Cinnamon splashed me again, noticing the slow change.<br />
<br />
"Don't say anything," I demanded as I undid my little jacket.<br />
"We won't," Ruby beamed.<br />
<br />
To their credit, neither of them gave me a single moment of grief or teasing. I slipped out of my top layer of clothes and into the water.<br />
<br />
"Gah! It's <i>freezing</i>!" I shivered, though I submerged myself further.<br />
"But does it feel good?" Cinnamon asked knowingly.<br />
"Yeah," I admitted.<br />
"There you go."<br />
<br />
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<br />
We stayed at the beach for an hour and a half. I forgot about the fact I was in my underwear, I swam until my lungs burst, Cinnamon and Ruby proved even more ridiculous teaming up to make a sand pile to put mine to shame, and then we lay there on the comforting sand not minding it getting in our hair as we chatted. Ruby told us about what high school was like, and I revealed what I could about Mr. Mint. My companions were more concerned over how hot my private tutor had been than the exact situation of his hiring.<br />
<br />
"But, c'mon. You gotta give me some number on the scale."<br />
"Cinny, is the water stuck in your ears?" I rolled my eyes. "I thought of him as someone like an uncle. How attractive he was is not something I care to think about."<br />
"It doesn't matter if you're attracted to a person or not. You can objectively see a person and compare them to the guidelines of what society deems good-looking or not. For example, I don't think of you in any sort of physically appealing way. It's no problem for me to rate you a seven though."<br />
"Seven?"<br />
"Hey, that's pretty good. Not something to be insulted over."<br />
"I'm not insulted. More surprised."<br />
"Think you'd be lower?" Cinnamon guessed, chuckling.<br />
"I feel average."<br />
"You're better than average. Ruby's got us both beat, sadly, at least by a little something."<br />
"I'd say by more than a little," I laughed.<br />
<br />
We glanced her way, but she'd drawn more and more out of the conversation.<br />
<br />
"You feeling okay?" I asked. Her face seemed paler.<br />
"I'm good. I think I'm simply getting tired."<br />
"I feel ya. It's about time we headed back anyway."<br />
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<br />
However, Cinnamon did not want to let go of our previous conversation. She offered to pay for another taxi should I tell her how objectively hot Mr. Mint was. I rolled my eyes and reminded her taking a taxi to the warehouse was impossible. We bantered back and forth only moving slightly in any sort of manner down the sidewalk to start our return. We should have paid more attention. Ruby certainly caught it when she abruptly bolted to the nearest trash bin. She stuck her head far in there regardless of the mounds of garbage tickling her chin to make sure the bile flying out landed nice and clean inside. She hacked and heaved as we rushed over.<br />
<br />
"I don't think you're good," Cinnamon said, rubbing her back.<br />
"My period must be starting. It usually comes on strong with painful cramps, but it's rare that it gets this bad that the pain makes me nauseous," Ruby mumbled, gagging. "Sorry."<br />
"It's fine. I have a quarter. Why don't you pop into the restroom here, get something from the dispenser, and then we'll head back straight away?" I suggested.<br />
<br />
Ruby nodded and numbly took my coin.<br />
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<br />
Cinnamon hailed a taxi, and we got a ride for as far as we could go without asking the driver to take us to a suspiciously abandoned warehouse. Ruby put on a brave face, but she downed some pain medicine, spent a long time in the port-a-potty, and curled up in bed wearing an intense pout. I felt her pain. Having a period while homeless and having limited access to running water made the event much more of an ordeal. While I asked her if she needed anything, she ushered me off merely needing some peace and quiet. I sat outside for a while picking sand out of my hair before choosing to do something useful with the rest of my day.<br />
<br />
"Oh. Hey, Lark," I greeted as Larkspur approached me at the bookshelf.<br />
"What are you doing?"<br />
"I want to get some more books to use in class and for everyone to have to read or study from. I'm seeing what I have so I can know what to look for at the library."<br />
"You're going to steal from the library?" he frowned.<br />
"No, no. I put together a list of the topics I'm looking for, sometimes specific books. I go to the library to see what I can find and give the books a browse to see if it is what I want. Then I go to the bookstores or ask Leo or Coral to order what I want online."<br />
"Ohhhh. That's smart. I'm glad you're the teacher."<br />
"Why, thank you. I've got the list almost done. Do you want to come with the library with me?"<br />
"Sure. I'm bored, and Fennel doesn't want to play."<br />
"We'll leave in ten minutes then."<br />
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<br />
We left sooner than ten minutes, for I underestimated Larkspur's enthusiasm. He followed me around waiting for me to be ready to leave. So, I gathered my list, a bit of extra money, and freshened up with some deodorant and a wet cloth for my face to get us out the door in five. I could understand why the trip dangled above one's head alluringly. The library made one feel normal. You could just go and read or use the computer, be a face in the crowd. It's how it'd become for me since I'd grown and no longer feared the librarians calling me out.<br />
<br />
"What kind of stuff do you like to read?" I asked Larkspur. I sat with him at first to make sure he got settled and wouldn't cause problems.<br />
"Stories with strong guys who are cool."<br />
"Strong guys who are cool?"<br />
"Like knights, or superheroes, or treasure hunters. I want to be like them."<br />
"I see. Those stories sound fun," I smiled.<br />
<br />
It made sense as well. As a little boy who had little power, tossing himself into a world where he could imagine being the best proved naturally appealing.<br />
<br />
"If you find any books you'd really like, let me know. I'll add them to my list of books to buy."<br />
"Really?" Larkspur asked, eyes widening.<br />
"Really. Just don't go overboard with it."<br />
"Got it," he promised.<br />
<br />
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<br />
Larkspur browsed a few books before finding a series starring a space-faring knight. With him being instantly hooked, I went to go my own way. Decent luck struck as I discovered most of the specific books I wanted were at the library for me to test, and I easily found a good collection on all levels for the topics I wanted covered. The last thing to do then was check prices on the internet. I'd memorized most of the price ranges for the used bookstores I shopped at. I did check those first to support the community and whatnot, but sometimes I simply couldn't get a copy without going online. I assumed I'd have a nice time browsing using the quiet computer room. No talking was allowed in here, and any music had to be completely muffled by headphones. Heavy breathing and the smacking of lips instantly meeting my ears when I walked in narrowed my brows. A simple peek around the corner gave me the explanation. The room was empty save for a pair of teens my age. They were going it at. The girl ran her hands through the guy's hair as he buried his face into her chest and ran a hand under her skirt.<br />
<br />
"Uh, excuse me?" I gave them a look.<br />
<br />
They stopped and immediately sent glares my way.<br />
<br />
"What?" the girl scoffed arrogantly.<br />
"We're in a library. If you want to learn about baby-making, there's plenty of books on the subject. You don't need trial and error."<br />
"Piss off, jealous bitch. You're just upset you're not my girl right now," the boy chided, hugging her seductively.<br />
<br />
He didn't like me laughing loud at that and walking away.<br />
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<br />
And I walked away to find a librarian. Had the two not come off as rude as they had, I would have walked away minding my own business. However, I went to the third floor to use a computer instead after allowing the staff to know what I knew about the two. My seat by the window permitted an excellent view of the two teens shouting and throwing a fit as they were escorted out of the building. That was that.<br />
<br />
I spent as much time needing scouring the internet for the best links to purchase the books for cheapest. Larkspur rushed up during the middle of this wondering if I would lend him money for a crepe. The treat apparently came into mention in his book, who knows how in a story of a space knight, and there was a truck a few blocks north that sold them. I couldn't deny him. Off he scampered clutching those dollars like they were made of gold. Several minutes later, I groaned and hurriedly gathered my things. There was more searching to be done, but I wanted a crepe too!<br />
<br />
Leaving the library, the chill in the air caught me off guard. The sun still burned bright. The wind blew warm. However, it was if a bubble of distant frost followed my steps. It was easy enough to ignore...until a sensation I hadn't felt in years reappeared. The chill intensified, invisible hands fell upon my shoulders to pull back, and a voice brushed against my ear.<br />
<br />
"Careful..."<br />
<br />
It whispered so softly I wondered if it wasn't a piece of my own imagination. But...of course, it had to be. I turned and searched all over. No one was there. Nerves bubbling in my gut that hadn't been there, I cautiously resumed walking.<br />
<br />
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<br />
Teen feet in front of me was a corner. A corner that could only be the reason for why my paranoia had set the warning bells off. Hiding behind the subway entrance was none other than the two angels I encountered before. The guy caught me by the shoulder and one of my braids to drag, drag me further down the wall and out of sight before I couldn't understand or react to what was happening. Unfortunately, when I thought I yanked hard enough to shake free it was only because the asshole let go to claw at my face. He'd likely be going for a full punch, but my stumbling caused him to miss. He nearly fell down on top of me as my foot smacked into the building's border and dropped me to my butt.<br />
<br />
"You got us kicked out!" he yelled.<br />
"You got yourselves kicked out. You were the ones getting hot and heavy in a library, and then you think you can be assholes without consequences?" I scoffed, holding my palm against my injured cheek. A few drips of thick wetness tickled my skin.<br />
"And you think you can be a snitch without consequences?" The boy towered over me more.<br />
"This is too good," the girl giggled. She held her phone, clearly recording the situation.<br />
"Back <i>off</i>," I demanded.<br />
<br />
My voice came out stronger than I felt. I regretted letting myself get soft and comfortable. I should have learned after that situation with Gravel to always have one of my sharpened sticks with me.<br />
<br />
"No." The boy smirked devilishly.<br />
<br />
Though fright and fear slammed my ribs, this was hardly my first time being afraid. We weren't that hidden from the street. Screaming should be enough of a deterrent. My hand sneakily testing the ground also snagged a prize by way of a rock. The boy took a step closer. I kicked his leg, throwing him off balance just enough for me to chuck the rock at his forehead. He cried out, stumbled back, and I bolted.<br />
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<br />
The streets and their weaving alleys remained as clear to me as if I had a map in my hand. I zig-zagged chosen the strangest and most obscure routes to get to what should have been a straight walk to my destination. Thankfully, Larkspur was still there, licking cream cheese off his lips.<br />
<br />
"Cinnamon, can I get another one?" He asked hopefully. "They're having a buy one get one half off, so they said if I got a second it would be half off even if bought separately. I want an orange marmalade one. They just have to have a few more oranges sliced."<br />
"Sorry, but one is enough. We also need to head back."<br />
"But I wanted to go back to the library." His shoulders dropped.<br />
"It's urgent."<br />
"But<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
"Lark."<br />
"...Okay," he grumbled.<br />
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<br />
Frustratingly, he slumped and shuffled behind me not caring that I got further and further ahead. Part of me wished to leave him to walk back, or perhaps I should have sent him somewhere else with a bribe. I worried, however, of those two assholes still having been able to follow. If they caught even a single glimpse of Larkspur and me together, they might be so low as to go after him instead. It was safer to stick together and take as many of my secret routes as possible even as Larkspur gave me funny looks and constantly drove me crazy with his questions of what we were doing. The boy didn't have any sense about what was going on until we reached the quiet streets nearing the warehouse. I'd felt rather confident while in the city. Each glance over my shoulder showed me no sign of the two knowing our location. I walked more at ease until from nowhere my chest exploded with flames of fright. That chill returned to counter it, leaving me burning from the inside as I froze from the outside. Tentatively, I sent another glance back. No one was in sight. The feeling didn't go away though.<br />
<br />
"Lark? I need you to run back for me," I said.<br />
"Hmm?"<br />
"I need you to run on ahead."<br />
"What?" He tilted his head. "Why?"<br />
<br />
I forced back a sigh. I shifted for another glance. Still nothing. Larkspur finally took a good look at my face though.<br />
<br />
"What happened to your cheek? It looks like you scraped it against something," he said with a concerned frown.<br />
"I can take care of it later. I need you to listen to me carefully though. I'm going to take a quick walk this way. I need you to run along ahead. Got it? <i>Run</i> along ahead."<br />
"Oh." His expression stiffened, and that was when those gears began turning. "Got it. I'll see you in a bit."<br />
<br />
He began his jog, and I relaxed a bit more.<br />
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<br />
It did little good. Now I turned around completely. The fringes of the city were in sight, but the quiet roads dominated the area. There were a few trees and such, but nowhere proper to hide behind. How in the world could someone be hiding back towards the city where I had this intense fear, or how could someone be darting from sparse tree to tree and not be caught in all my glances? Someone following made little sense. As I thought again about wanting a stick, I thought about Gravel. His actions had left a heavy mark on me. Thankfully, I hadn't had to go through anything like it since. This all could just be the scars of that gentle trauma wriggling to the forefront. He had hurt me. Someone else had just hurt me. Perhaps I merely needed time to calm down and let my imagination get back under control. Yes, my fear was taking hold too greatly.<br />
<br />
With that in mind, I took a deep breath, decided I'd circle around to the warehouse just make sure no one followed, and started down the sidewalk once more.</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-38253407154144487402020-02-10T13:48:00.001-05:002020-02-10T13:48:14.349-05:00Gen Four- Chapter Sixteen<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
My chest caught as, on this quiet morning, a lively wind sped forward caring for nothing in its way. Bearing the tangy scent of salt and a brush of moisture, it'd clearly come off the sea. However, I closed my eyes and was thrown back. Memories always hit hard around this time of year<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> when the changes that led me here had begun. In that moment I stood as if I stood in that river once more. The trees in the park played the same melody as imagination had me sure cool water tugged at my legs. The taunting sun's warmth hinted hotter days approaching while the dying watch on my wrist, long outgrown, tricked me into believing I had all the time in the world. I wondered what I would do...if I did open my eyes to find myself thrust into the past with the knowledge I had now. Perhaps I finally might be able to determine what I thought about the past at all.<br />
<br />
"Cinnamon? What are you doing?"<br />
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<br />
I shook my head and opened my eyes. The scenery around me didn't change. Memory was memory. I'd never figure out the answers, and I should have learned by now to accept that.<br />
<br />
"Just taking a moment to enjoy the good weather. This is my favorite time of year, the transition between spring and summer. The days are warmer, but there's plenty of spring's liveliness to make one feel refreshed."<br />
"Mm, yeah," Fennel shrugged. "I like all weather, so I don't care much about it for me. I just hope it makes people want to come out to the park. Do you think people will come?"<br />
"I think people will come. There's not too much to do here, but it's a common place for anyone walking to pass through as they go to all the city buildings and businesses nearby."<br />
"We'll sell a lot then!" Fennel cheered.<br />
"It'd be great if we do, but remember what I've been saying. Keep your expectations reasonable. Don't plan on everyone rushing the stall as soon as they see it, and recall that most people don't carry a lot of cash if any on them anymore."<br />
"It'll be fine! You need to be more optimistic," Fennel encouraged, boldly placing her hands on her hips.<br />
"I'm being realistic, as I said, not pessimistic," I pointed out.<br />
"Same thing," Fennel waved me off.<br />
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<br />
She promptly turned to park herself the few feet over by the borrowed table we were using for this bake sale. I shrugged lightly myself and took a seat on a nearby bench after double-checking the treats looked well and appetizingly placed from a customer's perspective. The bake sale was for Fennel's benefit, not mine. She had no problem being the one to stand there and call to the few people who began to trickle into the park as the work day began. While I'd wanted to do this on a weekend due to more casual foot traffic, an event this Saturday and Sunday meant we hadn't been able to get a permit for those days. Coral went out of her way already to dip her hand into getting a temporary selling permit despite opening us up to a bit more risk of our situation getting caught. Fennel was <i>that</i> insistent about having a bake sale regardless of the rest of us telling her the impracticality of it.<br />
<br />
I understood her enthusiasm. It wasn't difficult to throw my memories back to those beginning weeks of living at the warehouse either. I'd felt such pride writing my list of ideas, but I'd also dropped my shoulders in disappointment having the vast majority of them shot down. Such was why I'd added my voice to letting Fennel try this bake sale at least once. She'd learn eventually of the hard decisions to come in order to survive like one of us. However, there was no harm in sustaining her childlike innocence a bit longer.<br />
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<br />
All in all, a bake sale wasn't an awful way to make a small income. People did find themselves drawn over to what was new and different in the park, and those who did have proper cash on them were usually willing to make change for those who only had big bills<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> as the change we'd brought wouldn't last long if we accepted every twenty that came our way. Fennel had a good enough handle on the stall that I swiped a spare caramel brownie to munch on while I took a walk around the area. I'd planned to enjoy a seat at the fountain and listen to its bubbling rhythm play, but my legs barely bent before a familiar figure rushing down the stairs caught my attention.<br />
<br />
"Cinnamon!" he called brightly.<br />
"Jam!" I smiled back. "Good to see you. It's been a bit."<br />
"Yeah, sorry about that. I think about you guys a lot, but..." He looked away guiltily. "Life has been busy."<br />
"Hey, don't feel down. You know we're all glad for you. Life your life. Love what you have. There's no reason to worry about us. We're as good as we've always been."<br />
"Thanks," Jam smiled slightly.<br />
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<br />
He glanced around before his eyes settled on my brownie.<br />
<br />
"Mind if I steal a bite?" he requested with a smirk, sneaking his hand towards the plate.<br />
"You can go buy a square from Fennel," I bantered, moving the plate back and gently slapping his hand.<br />
"Fennel?" Jam wondered. "Someone new?"<br />
"Yeah. She's been at the warehouse about a month. She's hosting a bake sale today."<br />
"Anyone else come in since I last visited?"<br />
"Hmm, there's Ruby. She's a little older than Pieter and I. No one else has joined, but both Durian and Straw left."<br />
"And how are you and Pieter doing?" Jam asked with a playful eyebrow raise.<br />
"Just fine."<br />
"Just fine, huh?" he laughed.<br />
"Yup."<br />
<br />
Jam went to say something but suddenly halted as a thought struck him. His wallet came out of his pocket where a fifty was placed in my hand.<br />
<br />
"Jam, you don't need to pity<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
"I'm not pity-paying you. Promise. I just remembered that you and Pieter turned fifteen since the last time I saw you. This is a belated birthday present to share between you both."<br />
"I...thank you."<br />
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<br />
I accepted the money into my own little wallet. Honestly, even if the money had been given out of pity I still would have taken it. I wouldn't deny a prize like that if it came my way regardless of any humiliation gained at its bequeathing. It wasn't that I was in desperate need of money like I had been at the beginning, but my mindset simply focused on preparing for any eventuality. The vast majority of my income went into savings because of that.<br />
<br />
"I have to run," Jam explained. "I signed up for a summer soccer camp, and I was already late once this week."<br />
"Run then. It's nice you took the little detour to say hello. You'll pop by the warehouse eventually anyway," I ushered him along.<br />
"True. Bye, Cinnamon!"<br />
"Bye."<br />
<br />
Jam bolted up the steps three at a time. He went up, but my heart plunged down. The smaller his back got, the larger the hole in my chest chilled me. Pieter had been accurate in his words that day Skylar had been found. People came and went. We suspected it was partly due to Skylar's return home that prompted Jam's abrupt departure in the spring. He took the risk to turn himself into the police, and he got lucky. His parents sobered their act after having their son running away for over a year. A loving, safe, and proper home met him. Jam visited the warehouse from time to time since his family did live in this city, and it was nice to not have him take off forever. However, the gaps between when he showed up grew longer and longer each time. It wouldn't be too much more before he stopped coming entirely. I stood on my tiptoes to catch one final glimpse of him before he vanished around the corner.<br />
<br />
Emotion flared high from the hole in my chest I fought to control. Jam in my sight reminded me how much I liked him. Not having him in visual range only released with fervor what I felt when he was away<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> jealousy.<br />
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<br />
The permit Coral got allowed us to be at the park all day. Thankfully, we didn't need the whole day. Fennel's stash of baked goods sold out at lunch when the office workers who'd passed by earlier returned with crisp bills from the ATMs. The stand was wiped clean, taken down, and locked back in the park's little building of supplies. Fennel bounced to the sky and back again and again as we made our way back to the warehouse.<br />
<br />
"I don't know why everyone was so against me doing this," she skipped and twirled. "It worked out well. I got seventy-two dollars!"<br />
"While I don't think a bake sale is a bad idea, it's simply not viable for income in the long run. We can only get a few permits for season, and Coral and I promised to only cover the cost of making the treats this first time, remember? Honestly, with how much we spent to make all those treats, the sale barely came up even."<br />
"Profit is profit."<br />
"You'll make better profit doing yard work like the rest of us. There's a number of people I don't have enough time to get to frequently. I'm sure they'd love to have your help. You could make more than seventy-two dollars in less time than the half a day the sale took."<br />
"But I don't wanna do yard work." Fennel spun around in circles as she danced forward.<br />
"Give and take is necessary if you want to earn enough money to stay at the warehouse."<br />
"Like Leo and Coral would really kick me out."<br />
"They're more stubborn about the rules than you'd expect."<br />
<br />
But I couldn't be certain. Yes, Leo had temporarily kicked me out, but that'd been because he thought me to be a liar and thief. No one to my knowledge had ever failed to come up short with rent for an indeterminate amount of time. Would Leo and Coral make Fennel leave if she refused to take on the jobs to properly cover rent, or would the guilt of tossing out a young girl who needed help tug too hard on their sympathies?<br />
<br />
"Fennel!" I rebuked, heart skipping, when I glanced up from my pondering to see Fennel bounded into the street without a care in the world during her dance. "Come here!"<br />
"Sorry, sorry. My bad. I forgot."<br />
<br />
I shook my head as she dashed to my side. It was difficult to say how terrible Fennel's home actually was. She was flighty, unobservant, and showed signs of suffering from some attention disorder, whichever one it might be. Her story was given that her mother wanted her out of the house, but I know many of us pondered if Fennel took her mother's intentions to an extreme. She often over-exaggerated the things we told her.<br />
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<br />
I took Fennel's hand to make sure she stayed by me. My action was met with her wrapping her arms around mine to nuzzle lovingly. Fennel was quite clingy. What she was doing hurt, but it was better than her darting into the street. She thankfully let go when the warehouse came into sight. Leo and Coral would still be at work, so when she announced she was going to hand her money over I assumed Jessamine or Tulip was her goal instead. I made my way inside much more respectfully. The timing really couldn't have been better with the end of the sale, for class was due to start soon. I turned on the oil lamps and flicked the switches of the battery-operated glow lights. Fennel was the first one down. The second student appeared without warning.<br />
<br />
"Mwah!" Pieter said aloud before planting a big 'mwah' on my cheek that Fennel giggled at.<br />
"Pieter, you stepped on my foot."<br />
"Whoops. My apologies. Does it need a kiss too?"<br />
"No. I need<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
"What do you need, dearest?" Pieter gushed dramatically.<br />
"For you to sit your butt in your seat." I pointed to his spot.<br />
"Mmm, fine," Pieter jokingly grumbled.<br />
<br />
He stole one more peck before following orders.<br />
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<br />
It was the most interesting thing. Pieter was his normal rambunctious self until he slid into that plastic chair. The most serious expression would take him over then as he became the world's most perfect student until I released him. Cinnamon chuckled and rolled her eyes at us, having just come through the door. The back desk with the cushioned chair always belonged to her. Ruby had tried to claim it once and got met with the worst of Cinnamon's scowls.<br />
<br />
"Has anyone seen Ruby?" Speaking of her, I glanced through all the windows seeing no trace of red coming this way.<br />
"She said she wouldn't be here," Larkspur announced, sliding into his chair. He was another runaway from the foster system who'd found his way here before Christmas. "Something about working on her tan."<br />
"That's fine. As long as I know so we don't waste time waiting for her."<br />
"What are we learning about today?" Fennel asked.<br />
"Sex ed! Sex ed!" Larkspur cheered.<br />
"Sex ed! Sex ed!" Cinnamon sarcastically joined in.<br />
"Don't <i>you</i> start." I gave her a look.<br />
"What? You promised to teach it eventually, and they need to know all the fun details public elementary school didn't cover."<br />
"I've got my lessons planned for the next month and a half. I'll add it in afterwards."<br />
"Teach it noooow!" Larkspur mewled.<br />
"No," I denied.<br />
<br />
I turned to the whiteboard to begin the actual lesson.<br />
<br />
"Sex ed. Sex ed," Pieter whispered, prompting laughter from everyone. He smiled grandly at me snapping back around with my hands on my hips. "Sorry."<br />
<br />
I rotated once more and let the tiniest of smiles slip where no one could see it. Okay, Pieter wasn't a perfect student <i>all</i> the time.<br />
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<br />
Everyone shut up and concentrated for the most part from there on. Larkspur and Fennel easily fell into a routine of whispering conversations each time I faced the board, but they were just as easily persuaded with the candy I rewarded them after class for good behavior. The bake sale had also worn down Fennel's exceptionally high desire for movement, so she was content to take notes by making the letters fancy.<br />
<br />
The public schools had just gotten out for summer, but my classes lasted almost year-round. That was due to them only lasting three hours at most. Larkspur and Fennel just couldn't sit still longer than that, and there was the fact that I barely had a grasp on what I was doing. As I'd realized that first winter, it wouldn't be long before my education proved severely lacking. The studying I did for myself then slowly expanded to the point it was at now<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> me teaching those who cared to attend in an old-fashioned set-up. I'd give the teens some relevant busy work while I taught a lesson to the kids, and then the kids would get busy work while I taught a lessons for the teens. Most of the time, however, I was only a few weeks of studying ahead of whatever I was explaining. It wasn't the best, but at least it was something. It also gave everyone under eighteen something to do during the majority of school days when we couldn't be freely out and about.<br />
<br />
"Were there any cupcakes left?" Pieter asked after class, interrupting me cleaning the whiteboard found at a flea market by wrapping his arms around me.<br />
"Everything got sold. Besides, you ate two cupcakes worth of the batter. I'm surprised you want anything sweet at this point."<br />
"Meg," he whispered so, so softly in my ear before talking normally, "I am a teenage boy. I could eat all day long and have room for whatever else came my way."<br />
"Well, here. Do you have change for this? Half of it is yours." I took out the fifty.<br />
"Half of it is mine?"<br />
"I ran into Jam at the park. He gave this to me for you and I to split. It's a belated birthday present. Twenty-five should be enough for you to go buy yourself a dozen cupcakes."<br />
"I don't have change, but how about this? You're free now. There's something I want to show you. We can stop at the bank to make change, get some cupcakes, and I'll take you where I want to take you."<br />
"Where do you want to take me?"<br />
"I figured it's obvious that it's a surprise," Pieter tickled my side.<br />
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<br />
Shaking off the attack, I agreed to the idea. My appetite wasn't as bad as Pieter's, but I had a harder time staying full than I did in my younger years. Any weight that did come on due to an abundance of eating only ever seemed to find its way to my cheeks. Jessamine and Pieter squished them relentlessly, much to my chagrin. Grandpa forever wondered if I would have a round face during my adolescence. Apparently, chubby cheeks were a Vivid family trait. I hoped I would grow out of them.<br />
<br />
I ordered two large cupcakes each with a mound of frosting despite hoping that.<br />
<br />
"So, where exactly are we going? There's that smaller movie theater nearby. Is that something you wanted to show me a movie?" I guessed.<br />
"We're close," Pieter answered. Not knowing he stood so close, when I shifted our chests brushed together as he wasted no time slipping his hands in mine. "You have some frosting on your lip."<br />
<br />
Such was true, but this fact was also an excuse to entangle our lips.<br />
<br />
I'd known since I was twelve things would eventually end up this way between us. People came and went, but we stayed. Jessamine, Tulip, and Cinnamon stayed too, yet our connection was different. Pieter still insisted our meeting was fate while for me he was the only one who actually knew me. He dragged the remnants of 'Nutmeg' forth from behind the mask of 'Cinnamon' to keep her whole. My real name now felt weird to me when he said it, my sister's taking control far past what was intended. Pieter was what grounded me. It's why I didn't mind the kissing and the touching and the way Pieter looked at me despite the kisses doing nothing for me, the touches not being needed, and knowing I was not in love with him no matter how much I cared for him otherwise.<br />
<br />
"I think you got the frosting." I pulled back.<br />
"I know," Pieter smirked. "Bleh, I forgot you got almond frosting. Gross."<br />
"Anyway," I said slowly. "What's the surprise?"<br />
<br />
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<br />
Proud with shoulders squared confidently, Pieter gestured to the building right next to us.<br />
<br />
"It's this!" he declared.<br />
"I've...passed this apartment before, yes. Or are you trying to imply you bought the building? If so, what bank did you rob?" I teased.<br />
"No, no. Okay, it's not really what I can show you but what I want to tell you why I wanted you to come here with me."<br />
"And what's that?"<br />
"I've been looking at the prices for apartments. This building is the perfect combination of cheap yet nice."<br />
"How are you planning to rent an apartment at fifteen?"<br />
"I'm not. This is all me planning for the future. I thought for the longest time I'd stay at the warehouse forever, but...I do understand Leo and Coral now. It does really drain you, huh? I want something normal. There's my house and my dad, yet you know that's not a viable option for me. I want something that will work for <i>us</i> too." Pieter wore seriousness quite unusual for him. He stared at me with utmost conviction. "I know you don't like me back the way I like you. You said it when I first started trying to kiss you, and that's why I kept trying to win your favor. If nothing else, we're honest with each other. You and me get it, get each other. I don't need you to love me. I just want you to be with me. That's why this place is perfect. I'm studying hard so I can take my GED once I turn eighteen. I've got my savings, you've got your savings, and dad will fork over whatever money we need until I can find a job to support us. We can live normally. I know you wish for that too."<br />
"I-I do. But, Pieter," my voice quieted, "you know I'm not like you. Nutmeg Mountain doesn't exist in the system. I can't get a GED. I can't get a job. I can't apply anywhere for anything<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> not even for a library card."<br />
"I know. However, look at how we've been living for these past years. It's not that hard to slip under the radar. Everything can be in my name, I'll get whatever you need, and who would think to question your identity? Besides...I've been asking around. There's...ways to add a person to the system."<br />
"Pieter<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
"If you don't like that, take another look here. It's full of kids. You'd make a killing babysitting, and with you not being in the system the government's not going to come asking for taxes from you."<br />
"That's true, I suppose."<br />
"Just think about it." Pieter patted my back. "We've got three years left to go before any of it matters anyway."<br />
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<br />
Catching a whiff of the popcorn scent wafting from that nearby theater, Pieter and I ended up going to see a movie. Popcorn, pretzels, nachos, and soda filled us up for the moment. I didn't enjoy the unhealthy kind of full it was though. Pieter went to the library to study while I took the scenic routes to walk off what calories I could. It couldn't be helped that my lifestyle focused more on survival and anonymity steadily chipped away the heightened physical skills I used to have. While I could still run faster than most people, my abilities weren't what they used to be. My thoughts pondered over trying to build up to that again with my free time this summer. Then I spotted a familiar figure approaching me from the opposite direction of the beach.<br />
<br />
"Hey, Ruby," I greeted.<br />
"Oh, hey, Teach." She walked up as if she hadn't seen me. "Sorry I missed the lesson. The winter was so dark, and spring was so rainy. Surely you can understand I needed this beautiful day's shine upon me, what with you being so intelligent."<br />
"I do understand. The dark days are rough. It's fine if you don't come to my classes either. They're optional, as I've said. Just there for those who want them," I shrugged.<br />
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<br />
Ruby was...interesting. Sick and tired of being rebuked and ignored for not being as talented as her older sister, she'd found her way here where it was obvious the years of criticism and attacks on her self-confidence caused her haughty behavior. Yet, it wasn't really that she was haughty. I think, like so many of us, she was looking for normal. The condescending way Ruby usually talked to me came from many of the same reasons Tulip and Cinnamon had been bitches when I first arrived. She was scoping out the limits of my patience, getting a grasp on my personality, and determining how much I could be trusted. There was some jealousy in there as well. Ruby had hearts in her eyes the second Pieter came into her sight, but that got squashed when Pieter, not seeing the new arrival, bounded over to me to plant a big kiss on my lips. Ruby got over her desire for Pieter quickly, but the desire for having similar love and attention remained.<br />
<br />
"I'm glad I ran into you. Cinnamon and I are going to the spa tomorrow. We wanted to see if you wanted to come with. If you haven't made enough this week, we don't mind covering the cost," I offered.<br />
"I'd love to come. I will take your offer too. It's <i>so</i> hard getting adjusted to living like this and finding ways to make money when you're underage, you know?"<br />
"I remember the harshness of my first months here," I nodded, not giving in to her gentle taunt. "It gets better in some ways, but forever stays hard in others. I'm glad I've found other people to walk beside me through it though."<br />
"True. I bet you're especially glad you roped Pieter's support...somehow." Ruby folded her arms under her chest to accentuate her larger than average cleavage. I stopped myself from rolling my eyes. While her behavior hardly affected me, there were some moments where her attempting to take these digs into what she incorrectly assumed would bother me was what was annoying.<br />
"I am," I replied simply with a smile. "Anyway, I came down here to take a walk and get some sun too. I'll be on my way."<br />
"Sure," Ruby said indifferently despite it being clear she was down-heartened yet again at not being able to get a rise out of me.<br />
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<br />
She took her leave without another glance my way. I continued my path the same way. Worse people than Ruby had been in my life, so by the time I reached the remnants of a dock I thought nothing of her. No, it was the horizon that captured my mind. My hand reached to trace the darker shade of sapphire where the sky and sea joined. The line hadn't changed in the five years since I first saw it, and the sight of something ever-permanent and consistent relaxed me.<br />
<br />
But...inevitably, my gaze dropped. My eyes settled upon the rocks gently rolled back and forth by the lazy waves breaking against the shore. Tilting my head as I searched the nearby few feet I easily found what I was looking for. In my hands sparkled those two rocks, quite common from what I now knew, of white that sparkled rainbows as the ocean water glazed its surface.<br />
<br />
"I wonder how you're doing sometimes, Grandpa," I whispered.<br />
<br />
The articles about him and dad had stopped after a certain point. Last I knew, Dad was in a special area of a higher security prison while Grandpa had been moved to a less strict facility due to his good behavior and willingness to cooperate. That news was three years old. The most recent comments on the articles looking for the answer to if I'd been found were two years old. People had forgotten the situation, and the world had moved on. The fear of discovery barely gripped me anymore.<br />
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Eventually, the rocks slipped from my fingers to be at the mercy of water once more. Those two matching stones like the ones I'd had for Grandpa and me landed close but separated by sand and other rocks. They'd likely never touch again, the water and passage of time wearing them down until they were dust finer than the forgotten longing of a faded memory. I stared at those separated stones, turned my back on them, and found a nice spot to sit and soak up the sun.<br />
<br />
My time at the beach wasn't as enjoyable as I wished. Thirteen had been the magic year for me in getting jobs, majorly babysitting, that weren't exhausting manual labor. I'd filled my open schedule with as much as I could handle ever since. Hence why I had such a large savings that destroyed any worry about not having enough for rent this week. For Fennel's sake, I had cleared my schedule today. I also refused any jobs this weekend to give myself a bit of a break. Honestly though, I forgot how quickly boredom could sink in. Building a little sand village while doing my best to keep my shoes clean entertained me for just long enough for me to justify giving up and returning to the warehouse. Outside stood the two figures I hadn't expected to see much of for the rest of the day. Jessamine and Coral had left right as class began saying they weren't sure when they'd be back.<br />
<br />
"What are you two giggling about like school girls?" I interrupted, walking over.<br />
"Oh, just some...things," Jessamine straightened up from madly whispering in Tulip's ear.<br />
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My brow raised. Jessamine and Tulip got along better than they used to, but to see them acting so buddy-buddy made me suspicious. Both gave me big smiles hoping to push past the matter. It only made it worse.<br />
<br />
"Do your 'things' have anything to do with why you two were so secretive about what you were getting up to this afternoon?" I wondered.<br />
<br />
Jessamine and Tulip hesitated. They were in a clear dilemma of wanting to tell me and not wanting to tell me. Both also knew how much I hated being lied to. Any false answer given would be caught by me, and they knew this.<br />
<br />
"I think it's okay to tell her, yeah?" Jessamine checked with Tulip.<br />
"Probably," Tulip agreed. "Okay, Cinnamon, you have to promise to keep the secret. We're working out the logistics, and we want the transition to go smoothly. Word getting around right now would complicate things and cause too much of a fuss."<br />
"I promise to keep the secret," I accepted stalwartly.<br />
"Good. What was going on was that Tulip and I were looking for apartments," Jessamine revealed.<br />
"...You two are moving out?" I panicked quietly at first. But I thought the two were prepped to take over for...<br />
<br />
That was when the truth hit me.<br />
<br />
"Leo and Coral are finally passing the baton to you. They're going to be leaving soon," I stated.<br />
"Yeah. It's more than time for them to get to live how they want. The four of us decided it would make more sense for Jess and I to share the responsibilities instead of them picking one of us as the leader. It's been a couple years since we've started using our identities again. With no one coming to us addressing the fact that we were once runaways, it was the moment to look into purchasing a new address we can use for everyone since Leo and Coral want to move down south."<br />
"That's good for them. I'll be sad to see them go, but they've been wanting this since I came here. They're wonderful for sticking around for so long when they didn't have to. I'm grateful."<br />
"They'd promised they'd write all the time and visit when they can. They're not leaving just yet either," Jessamine encouraged.<br />
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I smiled, nodded, and spent several minutes listening about the different buildings scoped out. Tulip was really gung-ho about a small house for rent instead of an apartment in a skyscraper like what Leo and Coral had. Jessamine was concerned about the extra distance and higher price. Tulip said her income would easily cover the extra cost and that having an actual house would make many aspects easier in the long run. The two started a debate on what those things would be and what made more sense, which is when I bowed out. It took no longer than me reaching the stares for my smile to disappear and gravity to pushed me down harder with every step upward. I scarcely made it to my bed for the night before I collapsed onto it. Cinnamon striding inside five minutes later ruined my pity party.<br />
<br />
"Geez, someone's brooding again," she chuckled. "You've got that expression on your face. What's up?"<br />
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When I didn't answer, Cinnamon patted my back and made herself comfortable on the other bed. A silence persisted that I hated that was exactly what Cinnamon was going for. Her stare boring into me drove me extra crazy. There was no choice in the end.<br />
<br />
"I can't say everything, but I was just talking to Jess and Tulip," I mumbled.<br />
"Okay. And?"<br />
"It just...got me thinking about changes and the future. Also about the past. All of which has really been bogging my brain down today. Before my Dad and Grandpa were arrested, there was a building series of events leading up to that moment. It won't be too much longer before it's the anniversary of when they started happening."<br />
"What do you think about the past?"<br />
"I don't know. A lot of things."<br />
"What about the future? What are these changes?"<br />
"I...well, Pieter took me to an apartment building today. He wants to move us there as soon as we turn eighteen so we can live like ordinary people again."<br />
"You don't want that?"<br />
"No, I do. But..."<br />
<br />
I couldn't finish the sentence. What did I even want to say? Apparently, Cinnamon knew more than I did.<br />
<br />
"You're conflicted about the past, and I think that's causing problems imagining the future. Pieter's offering what you want, but the expression on your face makes it seem like you don't believe it'll be that simple." She bit her lip and attached her stare to the floor to think before catching my eye. "Your story...you said you didn't have anyone to turn to after your Dad and Grandpa were arrested. Is that the truth? It's the only thing I can think of why you're hesitant to accept what should be a dream. That maybe you're like Jam or some of the others who have come by who will find what we all really want, our family that loves us, should we just take a leap of faith."<br />
<br />
My chest grew hollow. My blood froze in place. Cinnamon had become my friend, but this moment made me wish we hadn't. She was too good with me. She even knew to leave me be after seeing how I buried my face into the pillow and went still. Another caring pat tapped by back before she departed the room.<br />
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I departed the room too. Everything in me went from 0 to 100. I told my brain that, yes, Cinnamon was right. Pieter <i>was</i> offering me what I wanted. He <i>was</i> offering me my dream. More than anything, I wanted the peace from my childhood. I spent too much wishing to return to it when here I was turning a blind eye to the option of a different way of having it. Me rejecting the earlier idea of illegally creating an identity was hasty. It was far different than getting into drugs or conning people or other illicit activities. No one would be hurt. All it would do was allow me to become a helpful member of society. I could finally figure out what I wanted for a career. I could get a GED like Pieter. I could rid myself of the last of my fears. I would live forever with my best friend. If Pieter wanted children, I wouldn't mind giving him some. Yes, it was ideal in every way.<br />
<br />
So, no, I didn't need to harbor the idea of taking a leap of faith.<br />
<br />
"Hmm? Meg? What's up?" Pieter asked when I quickly found him alone in another room.<br />
"Kiss me," I demanded, wrapping my arms around his waist.<br />
"Uh...I mean, I don't mind, but...that's a really strange request coming from you. You've never been like this before."<br />
"Is that a bad thing? You don't want me to want to kiss you?"<br />
"Of course not. You sure there's nothing more to this abrupt desire though?"<br />
"Pieter..."<br />
<br />
I whispered his name oh so softly against his lips with half-lidded eyes in lieu of a response, and that was that. Pieter's mouth opened for mine, and conversation was abandoned. Pleasure from kissing still escaped me, but security's warm blanket eased my tense shoulders instead.<br />
<br />
Yes, this was my ideal.</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-1291440394145015922020-02-02T16:20:00.003-05:002020-02-02T16:20:38.357-05:00Regarding CMW's Near Future Schedule<div style="text-align: justify;">
Hello, all!</div>
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With the release of Gen Four's Chapter Fifteen, Nutmeg's childhood arc has officially come to a close. Chapter Sixteen will move into her teenage years, and it feels weird to think we've reached this point with her already. That being said, I'm writing this to say that the upcoming chapters for the indeterminate future will likely not be as timely. Chapter Sixteen will not release tomorrow as I need a bit of a break and more time to prep the changes for the new arcs.</div>
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The main reason why chapters after that might not be right on time, however, is due to work. The short of it is that the location I work at, our local library, had a stagnant staff for the longest time. A large number of people began to retire right as I joined, and many of the tasks were assimilated to those who remained with the positions being chopped up and offered as part-time. (A tactic being done everywhere that I absolutely despise.) This means anyone who is hired rarely stays long, leading to a perpetual revolving door of hiring new people, which tends to go quite slow here. There's been a position open since last July that still hasn't been filled, and more people have left since then. We don't work with a lot of staff, so even a few gaps here creates much more work for those who remain. I've been picking up extra hours to help cover, but that's been why most weeks I don't have time to work on CMW until Saturday or Sunday where I furiously write all day desperately trying to get it done for Monday. While I want to avoid skipping weeks entirely, there might have to be a few more of those than normal here and there. Most of the time, however, I'll likely just need to post on late Monday or perhaps Tuesday. I'll make an announcement if a week does need to be skipped. Otherwise, I simply need the extra day.</div>
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Thank you so much for reading, and thank you for your understanding! Things will hopefully go back to normal once the positions are filled.</div>
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~Kelsey</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-12745539300908867692020-01-27T00:00:00.000-05:002020-01-27T00:00:07.302-05:00Gen Four- Chapter Fifteen<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Sensitive topic warning: assault</span></span></div>
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Honestly, I would have never survived winter on my own. It came early as anticipated, and it proceeds to lay down its wrath each time the city begins to feel comfortable with the onslaught of snow. My previous main source of income would've be lost with the flakes burying any dropped money, which meant my pitiful hut would have almost certainly collapsed. I would have been stuck with the choice of freezing to death or giving myself up to the police to survive even before then. As I shuffled through the snow in the boots Coral bought, I pondered where the police would have placed me as, naturally, I would give myself up before going dramatic and picking death as the alternative. I seriously couldn't imagine my fate. I did laugh at the idea of me being put into a terrible foster home only to run away and find the warehouse regardless though.<br />
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But, surprisingly, winter's arrival proved a massive boon for me. There was no shortage of people who were willing to fork over money for someone else to shovel snow so they could stay warm and lazy in their house instead. The repetitive nature of the snow falling so frequently meant my worry about paying rent disappeared, for I made well over rent each day. I now had a solid savings started with Leo and Coral. Better yet, the people I shoveled for now were likely more inclined to want me back for other yard projects when warmer weather came.<br />
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"Oh boy."<br />
<br />
Some jobs were rough though. I stared at the massive driveway leading to the three-car garage coated in a foot's worth of snow and took a deep breath.<br />
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Well...I'd wanted a way to keep my stamina and physical abilities up. This was a good way to do it. I even managed to clean the whole driveway is just over an hour, which swelled my chest with pride. The reward wasn't too bad either. Some of the more well-off clients thought they were such saints for allowing me the privilege of providing me with manual labor that decent payment was unnecessary. This house, though, the woman gave me a hundred bucks like it was nothing. The high amount came from a combination of their snowblower being broken, her husband being out of town, and her having a recovering leg from a fall that prevented her from doing the job herself. I smiled wide when she welcomed me back anytime.<br />
<br />
"Ugh."<br />
<br />
Then I coughed and gasped as soon as she closed the door and walked away. The frigid air cut into my lungs despite the strain of shoveling heating up my muscles. I could feel each and every inhale, my throat ached, and my mouth twinged with a strange, dry, metallic taste.<br />
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<br />
A sign of dehydration, perhaps. I curled and uncurled my toes in my boots to get blood pumping to my freezing feet on my decision to head for a place much closer than the warehouse. Pieter got a chuckle of how I came to his house far more often than he did. I understood why he didn't like being there, but how could I pass up a computer to study and research without the threat of being realized by librarians, a fridge full of decent food, and a proper bathroom to wash and do my business? In all seriousness, it took a lot of my willpower to try not to convince Pieter he and I should simply stay here all the time. He'd grown nauseous the one time I casually and lightheartedly slipped it into a conversation of ours. I had to give in and reveal The Company had figured out true robots to distract him from the hurt I'd pulled up.<br />
<br />
Now he wouldn't stop asking me questions about DV1 and DV2 though.<br />
<br />
Mr. Clay wasn't around when I slipped into the house using the spare key hidden under a step Pieter showed me. He did diligently go to work as said. I wondered if it was because it was the one last thing he still cared to do or if it was because out of obligation to provide Pieter a stable roof and money, even if he rarely came home. Being here did grow awkward thinking of that. It's why I made my cup of hot chocolate, warmed while it made its way through me, and braved to step out into the cold once more.<br />
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As always, I made a stop on the rocky edge overlooking the beginnings of Aspen Harbor's suburbs. It'd become a treasured spot of mine, although it'd taken me a while to understand why. The understanding finally hit on one morning when the fog rolled and left the treetops and roofs mere bumps of wood and tile beneath my feet. This spot was, literally, my way to stand above the world. The different perspective allowed me to step back, breathe, and realize what I experienced when I was a tiny figure walking in the distance like the people I watched was not all there was to this world. Problems grew smaller, worries quieted, and the tempting of that persistent horizon drove within my chest to will to push on, to explore what was beyond my sight and reach.<br />
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I didn't stay long this day though. Despite the hot chocolate and rest inside the warm house, my body persisted to shiver and quake.<br />
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Had that large driveway not done a number on me, I would have walked to the warehouse for some spare clothes and returned to Pieter's house to soak in a long bath. That plan flew out my mind when the drudge of picking my feet through the heavy snow the city couldn't clear off all the sidewalk sagged my shoulders in exhaustion as much as my chest heaved for longer breaths it couldn't catch. The bathtub at the warehouse would simply have to do. Lavender-scented bubbles frothed the top of the lukewarm water I gratefully sunk deep into. No one else needed to bathe today, so I closed my eyes and let my mind drift off.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, I tore myself too far from proper awareness to catch the door opening.<br />
<br />
"Oh, uh..." Gravel mumbled upon closing the door behind him.<br />
<br />
A bad design of this room<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> with how the door opened you couldn't see the tub until fully inside.<br />
<br />
"G-Gravel!" I stammered loudly, sinking down even though the bubbles already covered me well. "What are you doing?!"<br />
"So sorry. Jam said you were in here, but he didn't say you were bathing. I'm going, I'm going."<br />
<br />
He hurried himself out, and I rubbed my hands over my burning cheeks. <i>Now</i> the water certainly felt like it was roiling.<br />
<br />
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<br />
Annoyingly, that moment right at the start of the bath ruined the rest of it. Peaceful relaxation refused to return, for every small sound of someone moving in my vague direction had my senses turning to 100 as I prepped to duck down in the water again. I sighed and figured it was just as well anyway. The chill seeping into the building stole what heat the water did have within minutes. What point was there to stay in at that point?<br />
<br />
"Jam." I strode to him after dried and dressed. Leo and Coral had gone for my idea, Tulip being shockingly on board and buying the expensive heated blankets herself. Still, covering ourselves as much as possible even in the areas with space heaters remained a necessity. "You knew I was in the bath. Why didn't you tell Gravel?"<br />
"I did," Jam frowned at my bitter tone. "I definitely did. Maybe he didn't hear or misunderstood me though. He started to walk away as soon as I said where you were. Did he burst in on you?"<br />
"Yeah."<br />
"Sorry, I guess?"<br />
"It's fine," I sighed. "It's not like anyone was doing anything wrong on purpose."<br />
<br />
My attention then fell on the one on the couch right next to us.<br />
<br />
"Pieter." I frowned. "Pieter. You shouldn't sleep there. You need to go into one of the warm beds."<br />
<br />
He let out a slur of indecipherable syllables as he buried himself deeper into the cushions. Having just gotten over a nasty cold, he didn't have the energy to do much today.<br />
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<br />
Tulip wandering over distracted me from prompting him before he fell into dreamland. I tensed as she came into view but took a deep, steadying breath. Leo and Coral remained quite absent from the warehouse. Since then, Tulip hadn't been so bad. Make no mistake that she and Cinnamon remained awful, yet the increase of responsibilities on her shoulders reduced her desire to make my life miserable.<br />
<br />
"Coral called. She said she'll drop off the replacement space heaters tomorrow morning. If you've got any money to hand over, I'm collecting it."<br />
"I paid rent already, so I'll be keeping what I earned today for myself," Jam said.<br />
"I made $140. I'm keeping twenty, so the rest can go into savings as I paid rent too."<br />
"Geez, what houses were you hitting to make that much in just a few hours?" Jam asked in awe.<br />
"That's a job security secret." I placed my hands on my hips.<br />
"Did Pieter say what he had or wanted?" Tulip motioned to him.<br />
"He hasn't been able to work much this week due to his cold," I frowned. "I can cover him if he doesn't have enough, but he says he should be able to go back to work tomorrow. Today is just his recovery day."<br />
"Alright."<br />
<br />
Tulip collected our money and walked away.<br />
<br />
"Pieter?" I called.<br />
<br />
But he was out. Shaking my head, I unrolled the nearby sleeping bag to give him some extra warmth.<br />
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<br />
I couldn't blame him though. My sore muscles and weary eyelids begged me for rest. The shoveling did provide good money, but <i>boy</i> did it wipe one out for the rest of the day. I couldn't rest now though lest I ruin an already miserable sleep schedule. Most nights I struggled to doze off thanks to lying around so much during the day. There simply wasn't much to do in the later hours. School was out, but the library obviously remained a risky place while being out in the snow sledding or playing didn't hold appeal after dealing with it all morning. I'd been tempted to buy a portable game console to alleviate the boredom of the long nights. However, I wanted to wait until I could be certain I'd still have a steady source of income before wasting my precious money.<br />
<br />
"Hey, sorry about before." Gravel popped into the other bedroom I was in now, as I'd been longingly staring at the warm sheets waiting mere feet away.<br />
"It's okay. It must have been a misunderstanding," I shrugged, clearing my throat.<br />
"Yeah. I thought Jam said you were planning to take a bath tonight, not that you were currently in one. I still should have knocked, but I was excited to ask if you wanted to go to a movie tomorrow afternoon."<br />
"A movie?"<br />
"One of my co-workers gave me these two tickets for free movie passes, but they can't be used on a movie's opening week. The one I want to see I think you should like as well won't be past that threshold until tomorrow."<br />
"Sure. That sounds nice."<br />
"Great," Gravel grinned, leaning close. "Hug and kiss as thank you?"<br />
<br />
That'd been his usual request for gratitude for a bit now, but I pushed him back as he went to wrap his arms around me.<br />
<br />
"Sorry, but no. I've got this tickle in my throat that won't go away, so I'm worried I might have caught either Pieter's cold or something else. I don't want it to spread."<br />
"It's fine. I don't care." Gravel persisted in getting a hug and going for a kiss regardless.<br />
"I do," I rebuked, gently struggling.<br />
"It's fine," Gravel repeated. He squeezed harder to pin my arms and get his victory peck.<br />
"Gravel!" I huffed.<br />
<br />
I shook him off and folded my arms tightly, prompting him to step back and humbly raise his hands.<br />
<br />
"Apologies again. That was too pushy. You're totally right<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> we don't want illnesses to spread."<br />
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<br />
Despite the apology, my chest roiled with kindling indignance. I thought such was why Gravel left despite clearly wanting to spend more time with me, but he actually left to return a moment later with a present. Held before me was a new piece of Merge Monster merchandise<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> a lounge robe. This one in particular was the highly anticipated koalamb version with the hood having koalamb's face and ears. All annoyance was forgotten then. I forgot so badly, in fact, I hugged and kissed Gravel on my own in excitement. The moment sobered when a weak coughing fit seized my chest. Gravel put the robe away so it could be clean until I recovered and sought out Jessamine to get me medicine.<br />
<br />
I went to bed early in the end. I coaxed myself out once to eat my bowl of lukewarm noodles and sauce and to use the restroom a final time before I truly drifted off. Sleep stole me around eight, and I didn't wake until eight.<br />
<br />
"Aww, dang it," I whined.<br />
<br />
The coughing started as soon as I came to consciousness. My voice came out weak and raspy. I was sick.<br />
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<br />
The quiet of the morning permitted me a few more minutes of rest underneath the covers. Coral's voice echoed throughout the rooms. She spoke to Jessamine and Tulip before I caught the struggle of her heaving the dead space heaters into the old car Leo had. While I wished to wait until the new ones returned the main area to its normal warmth, the hustle and bustle of everyone else gathering forced me up.<br />
<br />
"How are you doing, Cinnamon?" Jessamine glanced at me.<br />
"Not good," I replied, my words a croak.<br />
"That's what I thought. You don't look good either. It's your day to watch the warehouse, which should be a good thing. However, I don't feel comfortable leaving you here alone while you don't feel well."<br />
"I'll stay and help watch," Gravel offered. "I've earned my money for the week."<br />
"No, you shouldn't."<br />
<br />
We all stared at Tulip and her unexpected, and irate, denial.<br />
<br />
"Uh, why?" Gravel obviously questioned.<br />
<br />
Our heads swiveled back to Tulip again. I honestly think this was the most the two had ever spoken to each other. But, I dunno. Maybe they had some sort of background I didn't know leading to this moment. Tulip's answer I awaited with immense curiosity, but she fell silent after crossing her arms and glaring at the wall.<br />
<br />
"O...kay," Jessamine pressed on. "Gravel, that would be great if you wouldn't mind staying. Thanks."<br />
"Of course."<br />
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<br />
Tulip's glare didn't lessen, but she left without another word. Jessamine rummaged through the medicine cabinet to find what could work for me since Pieter used a lot. She promised to return with a restock around lunch. Food thankfully agreed with me. A solid breakfast of deviled eggs and a ham sandwich with orange juice hit the right spot. Gravel ran out somewhere quickly before Jessamine went on her way. I still couldn't stay awake despite the previous large amount of sleep, so it was just him when I woke to the sound of him entering the room.<br />
<br />
"I made some milk tea with honey," he explained proudly, setting the tray on the nightstand.<br />
"How did you make tea?" I struggled to prop myself up.<br />
<br />
The sleep, medicine, and obviously the cold combined into a sludge of slugishness difficult to fight.<br />
<br />
"What I bought was a portable induction stove. I already have an appropriate kettle since I've been wanting to make drinks here for a bit. It seemed too superfluous a purchase though until everyone started getting sick."<br />
"That's so nice of you. Thanks. I'd love some tea."<br />
<br />
Gravel fluffed my pillow, handed me a mug, and knelt down near me as I drank.<br />
<br />
"How are you feeling now? Better? Worse?"<br />
"Mmm, the same. My throat hurts, I can't shake the exhaustion, and my small fever is making my hands and feet cold despite the blanket."<br />
"Let me know if you want me to snuggle under the covers with you."<br />
"That's weird, Gravel." I scoffed in amusement and rolled my eyes.<br />
"Isn't that what people do in movies and books though when someone's cold?" he bantered brightly. "I don't think it's weird."<br />
"I appreciate the thought. I do. The cold isn't that bad though."<br />
"Just tell me whatever you do need."<br />
<br />
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<br />
We sat there for a while, him and I. That first mug of tea was a delight I couldn't stop myself from downing in an instant. Gravel began sipping on his own after handing me another. That one I forced myself to slowly nurse. No doubt the liquid would work through me fast. A million trips to the port-a-potty sounded miserable. Unfortunately, even the hot drinks couldn't stop my shivering.<br />
<br />
"Here."<br />
<br />
Gravel sat me up before rubbing his hands together rapidly. He cupped my fingers between his as he had before, letting friction and the lingering heat from holding his hot mug transfer to me. Then he moved to my feet. My eyes closed as the relaxation of the gentle massage eased tension my strained muscles clung to. The shivers began to cease.<br />
<br />
"Gravel," I frowned.<br />
<br />
He'd switched back to my hands but had started kissing them. From them he moved those presses of his lips up my arm.<br />
<br />
"They're get-well kisses," he said. Before I could say more, he dropped the kisses to my feet where one was on my ankle, my calf, my knee...<br />
<br />
"Gravel!" I thwapped the top of his head and pushed his shoulders back.<br />
"Sorry, sorry," he mumbled. While he retreated briefly, his head soon rest on my lap with his arms wrapped around my middle. "I just love you so much. So, so much."<br />
"I...don't...I..."<br />
<br />
I didn't know what to do. Blaming the tea at first, the nervous nausea settling deep at the base of my gut wasn't anything like what normal nausea felt like. It only reminded me of that rainy night at the park. The officer's face flashed within my mind, and the shaking rattling my arms and legs now wasn't due to the cold. I shook my head. I was getting worried recalling something unrelated to this moment. Gravel was acting strangely, but he was still Gravel.<br />
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<br />
Why, then, did fear bubble up with every passing second? The reappearing sensation of hands on my shoulders willing me to move the opposite direction from him didn't shock or startle me. The weight was the only thing to calm me in any way when Gravel's head lifted and our eyes locked. His eyes had changed. They radiated emotion, intense and desperate with a frightful glimpse into his disconcerting readiness.<br />
<br />
"I don't like seeing you sick," Gravel spoke. The obsession tainting his usual comforting tone now turned frightening gouged a hollow hole in my chest. "You shouldn't have to work so hard. You shouldn't have to worry so much. That's why, hmm, yes...yes, just rely on me. I make plenty. I can make more. Whatever you want, whatever you need, I'll give it to you."<br />
"I-I don't need that much." I peeled off his tightening grip and slipped onto the floor.<br />
"You do. You deserve everything. I can give it to you, and all I wish in return is your love. Just you." Gravel boldly stepped at me again and caught me harder than ever before in hug that was more a grapple, reaching for what wasn't his. My upper chest flamed in terror as my heart raced and the invisible hands yanked.<br />
"That's disgusting, Gravel! Get off!" I yelled as much as my quiet voice scratchy and uneven could yell.<br />
"It's not. It's only me and you. I'll only ever be good in how I treat you, for I don't want to hurt you." He gripped the back of my nightgown.<br />
"You're hurting me now!"<br />
"Just calm. Just think. It would be such an easy life. I'm asking for so little in return. You'd have me forever and ever, never being lied to or betrayed again."<br />
<br />
My fists flailed. I struggled and hit and shouted, but tears stung my eyes as searing understanding stung my skin like a thousand needles. I was so weak right now. The cold had me crippled. Even then, no one would hear me shout. Gravel, his tall height and muscles built by heavy manual labor, couldn't be stopped my someone like me.<br />
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<br />
My teeth sunk deep into Gravel's arm for a last-ditch effort. My legs were pinned between him and the bed where Gravel kept on yanking at the back of the gown. He cried in pain and let go. However, he didn't let go because of me. The sounds of the struggle had covered up the furious pounding of feet and the slam of the door yanking open.<br />
<br />
Tulip said nothing as she wrenched Gravel back by his collar. He gagged and dropped to the floor, cowering under Tulip who snatched the last mug of hot tea to pitch at his head. It crashed and broke, but she was far from done then. Several well-placed kicks went to his soft parts. Gravel somehow worked through the pain to stand. Tulip just met him with a flurry of punches and slaps that ended with him whimpering against the wall. It was then that she tossed open the door and shoved him out.<br />
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<br />
The support of the bed kept me from falling. I listened, stunned and hardly breathing, to Tulip giving Gravel hell as she ran him from the warehouse. She was a wild animal let loose not letting up for one second. I finally forced myself to move after hearing his body tumble down the last few steps of the stairs. Tulip took the opportunity for more kicks to where it would hurt before proceeding to drag him out into the snow by his arm. She finally shouted at him, but the ringing in my ears didn't process the words. All I caught a glimpse of was Gravel miserably limping off in terror as fast as his hurt body would allow. Tulip watched him go, and my legs gave out.<br />
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<br />
An eternity passed as I sat there numb in shock. Tulip reappeared wiping her hands off on her jeans. There was blood. I noticed it the instant she hurried back up the stairs and knelt next to me. Her kind hand on my shoulder showed me I did still quiver while her thumbs wiped off the waterfall streaming down my cheeks that I couldn't feel.<br />
<br />
"T-Thank...you..." I whispered through quivering lips.<br />
"No, I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to be thanking me. I saw what he was doing, but I kept convincing myself it wasn't what it was. I had no proof to back it up either, so I didn't even try to speak up. I should have tried to talk to you. I mean, I did, but I never followed through with what you needed to know."<br />
"Which was what? What was he doing?"<br />
"Grooming you. I'm unfortunately familiar with the process."<br />
"Grooming me?"<br />
"To be more susceptible or willing to accept the advances he was trying to take. It normally starts out with friendship. Then small actions of physical affection, particularly used as reward for favors or small debts. The boundaries are steadily pushed more to see what will be rejected or accepted. Excuses are made or lies are told to smooth over the rejections."<br />
"That's..." That's exactly what had happened. "Gravel didn't misunderstand Jam then when he told Gravel I was in the bath? He walked in on purpose?"<br />
"I didn't know that happened. I would say yes though."<br />
"Oh..."<br />
<br />
I shook harder and clutched onto Tulip for dear life. Only when she tenderly embraced me did the weight of those hands on my shoulders relax and slip away.<br />
<br />
"Why a-are you here?" I wondered in a sob.<br />
"Obviously, the warning bells had already been going off for me. Gravel had grown more bold with you, and the opportunity to be here alone with you while you were in a weakened state was a clear, ripe chance if something were to happen. I...I just felt like I needed to rush back. Almost as if someone whispered in my ear. I'm glad I didn't ignore it."<br />
"Me too..."<br />
<br />
Tulip smiled sympathetically. I didn't mind her reaching around me to gather me in her arms, which she did so confidently it was if I weighed nothing.<br />
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<br />
She brought me to Leo and Coral's room, which she unlocked with her borrowed key. I'd been meaning to complain to Leo when I saw him next due to Gravel having walked in on me, but now I was grateful the rest of the rooms didn't have locks. Tulip wouldn't have been able to stop Gravel had that been the case.<br />
<br />
"Are we going to be safe here with you running Gravel out? Won't he be really mad? I'm sure he'll tell on us," I fretted when she tucked me under the covers.<br />
"He won't," Tulip promised.<br />
"How can you know?"<br />
"Because he'll expose himself. By revealing our presence, that just forces us to explain why he was kicked out in the first place. It's true he and I almost never talked, but Gravel is not that stupid."<br />
"A-And what if he goes and tries to hurt someone else?"<br />
"I doubt it. He's in a bad state. Fear had him taking off on his own two feet, but it won't be long before someone notices him struggling and brings him to a hospital. He'll need to go. Since he's still a minor, they'll realize he's a runaway and hand him over. Then there's the fact that I gave him no mercy. His pants were bleeding when he limped off. It doesn't take much abuse to render that area useless."<br />
"Mmm," I mumbled.<br />
<br />
I curled myself tighter into a ball and clutched the pillow tighter. Waves of emotion or pain coursed throughout my body, but it all came and went so quickly I had no idea what to latch onto or react on. I just let myself continue to shake and cry.<br />
<br />
"If this..." I whispered.<br />
"Hmm?"<br />
"Gravel barely got started with what he wanted. If even that is so scary, how much worse would it be if you hadn't come along? My mom..." I sobbed. "My mom definitely had to have hated me! How could she not?"<br />
"No, no, no. Shh. That's not true. I'm sure it's not. I was wrong to ever say it was."<br />
<br />
I opened my clenched eyes to glance Tulip's way as she scooted closer and rubbed my shoulder.<br />
<br />
"It shouldn't have taken this for you to be nice to me," I pointed out.<br />
"I know." She dropped her head. "I was angry at you for things that weren't your fault, and I was irrationally jealous. I'm sorry. I'll be better now."<br />
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<br />
I had to give Tulip her second chance. She'd saved me. She'd been the only one to watch and notice the danger I was in even when she didn't like me. And, after having been betrayed again, her presence offered me safety and calm when I worried what might come through the door. Tulip stayed by my side until the tears stopped. She stepped out to make a phone call, which had Jessamine rushing back barely remembering to pick up the medicine I needed. It must have had a sleeping agent in it, for I slipped into blissful, dreamless rest not long after I took it. Leo, Coral, Jessamine, and Tulip having a soft, tense discussion on the other side of the door some time later stirred me back for a brief moment.<br />
<br />
Two long days later, the final pieces of everything snapped into place. Leo came early one morning with the news. Gravel had needed medical assistance and having been found half passed out in a park meant he couldn't run from the paramedics. Police were called due to him being an unidentified minor as well as the suspicious concentration of attack points from the assault. That was when the police found Gravel's records. The reason he never said much of why he'd been chased from his home...was because he'd tried to do what he'd done to me to his actual little sister. His father caught him as Tulip caught him. Gravel had gotten away without much injury the first time. Now he was to be tried for his attack on her. The police urged in the news article about all this for anyone else who suffered by him to come forward for evidence, but that obviously wasn't going to happen.<br />
<br />
I just wanted to forget Gravel ever existed. It was hard to do as each day the growing empty spaces in the warehouse reminded us of who was no longer here. Leo and Coral returned to coming as often as they had before though. Coral doted on me especially hard, and I clung to her like a toddler to its mother.<br />
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The fear started to ebb away when the snow began to melt. Winter lasted a long time<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> keeping the city trapped nearly until the beginning of April. I had returned to working as soon as my cold cleared, thrusting all my worries away behind a wall of monotony and physical strain. The good things, like so many houses wishing to have me around to help even after the snow vanished, couldn't resonate properly. My feelings from before sprung up once more with full force. I couldn't imagine, couldn't handle this being my life for all my life to come. Working odd jobs, living in fear of discovery, forever being hurt...it was a threat of an inescapable nightmare.<br />
<br />
"So, you know lots about the outdoors, right? Camping and survival and whatnot?" Pieter asked.<br />
"More than the normal person, sure," I shrugged.<br />
"Great! Here's the idea!"<br />
<br />
He went on a ramble for a little structure he wished to make near the ledge in his backyard. That way we could camp out there from time to time when the nights got warm. The idea sounded fun, and the fact that this topic was one of the few that caught my interest was definitely why Pieter went for it with such gusto. My apathy was obvious to all. Pieter was doing what he could to cheer me up.<br />
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April came. April went. The days passed defiantly even as I wished for time to reverse. I still thought often of the happy, peaceful years at home. The picture of Mom always remained in my pocket despite the dianthus bush I planted wilting and me sticking to my promise to never seek to speak to her again. Dad and Grandpa though, I was beginning to forget them. It was true I wished for the comfort of the past, but my longing for them faded. I only ever stopped to wonder if they'd adjusted to life in prison or if they struggled as I did to accept their new surroundings. I wondered of Mr. Mint and Mr. Nimbus, those who got out before the raid. Were they doing fine in their new jobs, or did they forever look over their shoulders now afraid of another snitch?<br />
<br />
But, whatever happened with others, yes, life went on for me. Fog took control of the world as I walked by the little lake Skylar and I skipped rocks at. He, too, had moved on to something new. I wished he hadn't. Closing my eyes, I took several steps through that massive blanket of mist waiting to find myself in a place that didn't produce such longing. The quiet, empty street of dull asphalt shadowed by drooping willow branches was all that awaited me.<br />
<br />
Oh well.<br />
<br />
I continued walking forward.</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-45462428935430187252020-01-20T00:00:00.000-05:002020-01-20T00:00:02.168-05:00Gen Four- Chapter Fourteen<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
After I flipped the newspaper to the next page, I took the pause in my reading to quickly rub my fingers together for warmth. Autumn now dominated the season, barely permitting summer's heat to remain. The clothes Coral bought kept most of me comfortable, but it was getting to the point where the gloves might have to start coming out.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
If I had any gloves.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I hadn't found any more babysitting working despite Leo getting the small victory he did for me. He took the last check from Mr. and Mrs. Glaze to the bank to confirm with them it was fraudulent. He declined starting an investigation when they asked, choosing to leave any actions regarding that to the bank, but they were able to give him a statement confirming the false payment. Leo contacted the babysitting website with that proof and a screenshot of the terrible review left for me. Both the Glaze's profile and the bad review vanished within the day. Still, despite that, I remained too young for other parents to want to take a chance on me.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Do you really want me to read this article, Mr. Basalt? It's another negative story." I questioned to the old man sitting next to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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With my ability to pay rent growing abysmal, Pieter gave up his job reading the newspaper to Mr. Basalt each morning to me.</div>
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<br /></div>
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"It's fine, dear. Good or bad, it is better to know. People may say that ignorance is bliss, but it is not to me."</div>
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I couldn't say if I agreed. I mean, a large part of why I quietly hated reading to Mr. Basalt was because of my struggle wondering if it was right for me to wish to go back to my ignorance. That peaceful life called to me more each day. While I liked Mr. Basalt himself, he did want me to read each article no matter the content. The news that focused on sensationalizing the negative in the world didn't exactly cheer me up. However, read I did that article of a gas station being robbed. Of a female employee being held against the counter while having a gun pointed at her head. Maybe it was better that I knew so I wouldn't go near that area for the time being. Maybe it was better that I saw that security footage picture so I could help spot the man and bring him to justice. It just didn't feel better.</div>
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<br /></div>
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"It's such a beautiful day, isn't it?" Mr. Basalt took a deep breath after I finished a different article of a dog park opening soon.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I glanced around. All I'd taken from the trees morphing to their leaves of flame was the impending darkness and frigidity of winter. A bad omen.</div>
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"It is." I plastered a big smile on my face.</div>
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I announced it was time for me to head to school when Mr. Basalt and I were halfway through the obituaries. He liked having those read too even with him getting close to those people in age. He was 'one more person to remember and care about their lives', he said. I just gladly took the five dollars offered. That gave me at least a solid thirty-five dollars a week with the remaining fifteen coming from other sources. Scouring the city for spare change and checking every candy machine and the like for missed quarters usually got me another five. From there, I'd been covered by the other members living at the warehouse. Most often by the one who found me sulking against the fence staring deadpan at the ocean.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"The forlorn hero again today?" he teased lovingly, poking my cheek and joining in trying to understand the horizon before us.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"I don't like reading the sad stories in the newspaper. I don't want winter to come. Cinnamon keeps trying to steal my scarf. Jam refuses to stop spitting on the ground." I held up my hands with a pout. "And my hands are freezing."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Oh," Gravel chuckled. "Well, for right now I can help with the last one."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
He took my tiny, icy fingers in his large, warm palms to gently rub them together, huffing on them a few times until the bitter sting left.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Thanks." I managed something of a small smile.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Perhaps this will help more? I found it this morning at work."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
He took from his back pocket a pencil. Brand new and unsharpened, it was decorated with holographic foil and pictures of koalamb in various cute poses. I squealed as I took it, keeping it tight in my clutches as I jumped to wrap my arms around Gravel's shoulders and bend him down in a hug.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"It came in a packet of five. The others have different Merge Monsters on them. You can have them if you want, but I figured that one would be the big winner for you," Gravel laughed again.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Thank you! I love it so much!"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
A cheap pencil was monetarily nothing compared to the fancy box sets and limited edition figurines Dad and Grandpa used to buy. However, to me now, this pencil was worth just as much. I squeezed Gravel tighter and only flinched lightly at his sudden kiss upon my cheek.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Ah, sorry. I got swept up in the moment. That was inappropriate," he apologized and drew back instantly.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"No, it's okay. I don't mind," I beamed.</div>
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We talked, cheering me up more, until the baying wind stiffened my hands again. Gravel and I went inside to huddle around the one space heater brought to warm up the balcony. The other came. The others went. I noticed little of the passing time until Gravel excused himself to go run some quick errands for himself. While I almost asked to come, it was better for me to use the afternoon to get what money I could. Tulip, unfortunately, stood at the bottom of the stairs. I expected her to stop and bother me but was stunned quiet with what she did say.<br />
<br />
"Hey," she called, ruining that slim chance of me simply being able to walk by.<br />
"Yeah?" I asked. Due to a confusing lack of malice in her tone, I was actually curious as to her intent.<br />
"You and Gravel..."<br />
"Yeah?" I repeated.<br />
"You two have gotten close. He's really affectionate with you."<br />
<br />
Was there supposed to be a question in this somewhere?<br />
<br />
"What of it?" I wondered.<br />
"I..." Tulip hesitated.<br />
<br />
She opened her mouth a second time, found not even a stutter to say, pursed her lips, turned on her heel, and left. I watched her go and shook my head.<br />
<br />
Whatever.<br />
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<br />
I didn't make it into the city to look for coins though. No sooner did I step outside the door did Skylar rush me as a blue blur.<br />
<br />
"Can I help you?" I asked curiously.<br />
"Hey, Cinnamon. I was wondering...if you might want to come with me?" Skylar put the request forth looking simultaneously nervous and excited out of his mind.<br />
"Where to?" I tried not to giggle at his weird state.<br />
"Not far. Just to the little lake nearby."<br />
"Do you need me to do something?"<br />
"No. I-I was just hoping me would hang out. Skip rocks or something," he began to mumble.<br />
<br />
This was new, but I didn't dislike it. I agreed and let him lead me into the swampier part of Aspen Harbor. The walk was calm and quiet, and now that I was familiar with the area the constant low-lying fog wrapped around softly. Skylar and I skipped rocks and chatted about nonsense until an opportune moment appeared for him to build up to a goal that had been on his mind.<br />
<br />
"This place is pretty. It's like it's the entrance to another realm," I unintentionally started the conversation.<br />
"I think so too! This place is a favorite of mine. I imagine it as a doorway to Tir na nOg."<br />
"Tir na nOg?"<br />
"You might know it as Mag Mell. It's the Celtic Otherworld. The supernatural land of youth, joy, and fae. That sort of thing."<br />
"Oh, okay." I took a deeper view of the playful pond and lush grass and trees. "You're right. I can imagine jumping into the water and ending up somewhere else."<br />
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<br />
Skylar turned to me.<br />
<br />
"Do you like those kind of stories?"<br />
"It sounds like you do," I pointed out knowingly.<br />
"I...do," he admitted. "My dad hated that I did though. Anything that wasn't, um, I don't know how to put it. A boy thing. Football. Rough housing. That sort of stuff. Anything that wasn't like that he demanded I have nothing to do with. Mom never helped when he got really bad with his...disagreement, so I had to keep anything he didn't approve of extremely quiet."<br />
"I'm sorry to hear that. You should be able to like whatever you like."<br />
"Thanks. I knew you would think that way. It's why I wanted to talk to you. I have this idea, and you're the only one who can help."<br />
"Not even Pieter or Jam?"<br />
"They'd probably just tease me too much about it. Not that they'd be mean about it like my dad, I don't think, but I don't want friendly teasing regardless."<br />
"Was is it you do want?"<br />
"There are sites where people can pay you money each month if they like the stuff you make. I...I have this idea for a story involving the Otherworld and fae. Coral said she should be able to make an account on one of those sites and help me post chapters. The thing is, I have the idea and the knowledge about the content, but I'm not a very good writer. You seem like you would be good at it though with how well you can read."<br />
"I can read and comprehend at a high level, but I never did too much writing outside of school assignments. But, this sounds fun," I grinned. "I'd like to give it a go."<br />
"Great!" Skylar beamed. "I really just hope people want to read the story, but any money we might get we could each have half of."<br />
"That's fine. Any penny more I can get without having to pick up loose change is a win for me."<br />
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<br />
Forget a penny. My agreement might as well have been an offer of a free million dollars to Skylar. He lit up like I'd never seen him before and urged me to follow him back to the warehouse. I could hardly keep up as we sped to the one bedroom with the tub. Someone sitting at the desk was the only thing that slowed Skylar down and permitted my lungs a chance to breath.<br />
<br />
"Oh, hey, Cori. It's been a bit," Skylar said.<br />
"Almost two weeks I think now," Coriander nodded along with a smile.<br />
<br />
Indeed. He hadn't been around for those almost weeks. Apparently, this was around the upper limit of how long he hadn't been around before, so everyone else was starting to wonder if he wasn't coming back.<br />
<br />
"Mom and dad finally allowed my sister to move in with her boyfriend. They don't like it, but they accepted that despite dropping out of college and making some...questionable life choices that she is an adult. Since my sister is a huge reason why the fighting happened, her absence has really made things peaceful like they used to be. I..." Coriander shrugged. "I think for the time being I don't have a reason to stay here. I mostly came today just because I wanted to pop by and see everyone. I won't be staying the night."<br />
"That's good though. I'm glad things got better," I said.<br />
"I'm disappointed though. We want to work on a story to post online and maybe make some money. I hoped you could tutor me," Skylar frowned.<br />
"How about this? I'll pop here and there to teach you what I can about whatever subject you'd like. This place might be a safe roof to sleep under, but it really doesn't do anything about the fact that the rest of you are all massively missing out on an education."<br />
<br />
My mood dropped, not having pondered that much. Mr. Mint taught above average content to me, so I hadn't worried until now about not going to school. Each day that passed though brought me closer and closer to being left in the dust by my peers.<br />
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<br />
Skylar jumped at the chance, and I hoped whatever lessons Coriander taught would help me too. We left him to his homework for the moment. Skylar got the notes for the story he'd written and kept inside the desk drawer before leaving for the library. Pieter tagged along. A teasing look and mouth opened wide to spew out nonsense got stopped by my foot stamped on his when Skylar walked in front describing our goal. Skylar found us a quieter corner at the library where we wouldn't disturb others with our talking and sat me down to get right to it.<br />
<br />
"So which way do you want the character to enter the Otherworld? You've listed the various ways folklore says it can happen. All are interesting."<br />
"We can pick that later. The first thing I want to make better notes for is about the first meeting with an aos si."<br />
"Well, I'm doing the writing. We need to define the main character first. We haven't even picked if it's a girl or a boy yet, and don't get me started on the name. Picking the way the character gets into this other realm is really important as well. Is it accidental? Intentional? What are their goals and motivations? Do they like that they found a way into this new place, or do they want to go home? Also, having them enter through an ancient burial mound could put a darker spin on the tale than falling through a lake or crossing a wall of fog."<br />
"Ohhh," Skylar remarked, amazed. "That's true. You're super smart, Cinnamon! I think I want to go with the wall of fog. There's this book of natural phenomena I read before. Let me get a book of baby names too. I'll be right back!"<br />
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<br />
And there he went again. Pieter scoffed an amused laugh.<br />
<br />
"I've never seen him like this."<br />
"It's cute."<br />
"You're definitely going to be doing way more than half the work though, if this beginning is a sign."<br />
"I don't mind. Like Skylar, I'm not imagining this will get much money if any. We're doing it because we want to. This truly is the first time I'm excited to write something more than my Christmas list."<br />
"Haha, wow. That's impressive! I haven't found a project that exciting yet."<br />
<br />
I recommended he consider a story to write of his own, and Pieter immediately stepped away to putter about and throw that idea away. Not the kind of work for him, clearly. However, he soon returned where I delved deeply enough into fleshing out what could of Skylar's notes to ignore him. Until he began stroking my hair, that is.<br />
<br />
"What are you doing?" I asked, still typing.<br />
"Fixing the loose strands."<br />
"I mean, thank you, but..."<br />
"What? So Gravel can treat you like a teddy bear yet I can't help a dear friend look beautiful?" Pieter teased.<br />
"Am I not beautiful enough already?" I joked back, raising an eyebrow.<br />
"Perhaps, but you should never settle for the chance of being second best."<br />
"Fine. Continue," I requested with dramatic pomp.<br />
<br />
Pieter fixing my hair actually felt rather nice.<br />
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<br />
He went beyond just touching up the loose strands too. Pieter undid my braids to twist them fresh, effectively getting rid of the damage the cold wind had done. He was surprisingly deft with his technique and tied the bows expertly too. I joked on how he should grow his hair out as well so we could match. That started a conversation that did have one patron shush us. We quieted, Pieter offered a few ideas for the story, and by the time we finished the third page we gave each other a look. Skylar was taking a long time.<br />
<br />
"He's probably coming back with a large stack of stuff that distracted him. You'll have<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> shit."<br />
"I'll have shit?" I frowned.<br />
"No, no. Come here. Hurry."<br />
<br />
I scurried over. From the window, we had the perfect vantage to see Skylar trapped by the presence of two police officers with the one pink librarian and a brown, male one standing closer to the entrance watching whatever conversation was going on.<br />
<br />
"Do you think he did something bad that made them call the police?" I whispered, shuffling to the side so only my head was visible if one of the officers looked this way.<br />
"I doubt it. C'mon."<br />
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<br />
Hand-in-hand, Pieter and I hurried to the lower level as nonchalantly as possible to sneak underneath the little bridge entrance on the main floor. We could hear the last of the conversation from there.<br />
<br />
"I'm not going back! You think if it was a good place to be, I'd have run away!?" Skylar chided the officers.<br />
"I'm sorry for whatever you went through, but your mother has been madly looking for you the past year and a half. She wants you home very much," the female officer comforted.<br />
"Pfft. She never did anything to help me before. I'm sure the search is just for show."<br />
"Hear us out. You said many of the problems were because of your dad? We've been told your mother divorced him and he moved to another state. Your mother is willing to fight to get what justice she can once you're home to confirm what happened. We're not saying she didn't make her own condemnable choices, but I'm sure if you give her one more inch of faith you'll find a life much more peaceful than how you've been survival up until now," the male officer explained.<br />
"I'm just fine where I'm at," Skylar mumbled.<br />
"You will have to come with us," the female pressed.<br />
<br />
More words were exchanged, but what option did Skylar have? There was nowhere to go. The officers guided him to their cruiser, leaving the librarians to shuffle back inside mumbling sympathies and an answer to what happened. The man recognized Skylar from a picture on a Missing Children website.<br />
<br />
"We should go?" Pieter whispered, tugging my hand.<br />
"Isn't there anything we can do?"<br />
"The rules are clear. You get caught, you're on your own. What can we do anyway? They just drove him off to the station. Unless you think you can superhero dash to catch up to them and whisk him away once they let him out of the car, we're powerless."<br />
"I guess we are..."<br />
"Seriously, we should get moving. The librarians saw us come in together. They're probably searching us out right now to tell us what happened to our friend. We don't want them to see you."<br />
"...Okay. Will you hold onto this?"<br />
<br />
I handed him Skylar's little notebook. Pieter carefully tucked it in his pocket.<br />
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<br />
Everything went numb for me. My hand only stayed in Pieter's because his grip remained firm. I saw nothing but concrete bleed into more concrete as the city sidewalks passed, for I couldn't lift my head.<br />
<br />
"It's so sad," I sniffled. "It feels like when everything began to break the first time. People started to leave, and then it got bad. Cori won't really be coming anymore. Now Skylar has to go back home when he doesn't want to. Leo and Coral..."<br />
"They've been spending a lot more time at their apartment than normal, even for years past, yeah," Pieter nodded along. "I'm sure they are growing weary of being our support. They said it though that they won't just leave until someone else can take their place, remember? About Cori and Skylar, it is sad. It's just...kinda how things work here. People come and go rather frequently. Someone wants to go home, they get found by the police, they want to strike off on their own. It's rare for anyone to stay more than a year."<br />
"Mmm," I mumbled, uncertain. "I hope the officers were right and Skylar's mom will take care of him properly now."<br />
"I think she will," Pieter encouraged.<br />
<br />
We walked a lot more returning to our silence. The city fading away and nature surrounding us finally had me seeing Pieter was leading us in the opposite direction of the warehouse.<br />
<br />
"Where are we going?"<br />
"We shouldn't go to the warehouse right now. It's a rare chance, but Skylar might accidentally let it slip that that's where he's been staying. The rest of you will be in trouble if the police not on our side swarm the place."<br />
"Why do you keep speaking like that? You said it before<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> that the librarians shouldn't see me. Shouldn't it have been they shouldn't see <i>us</i>? You're a runaway too."<br />
"But I'm not."<br />
<br />
At that, Pieter stopped us before a two-story brown house with green roof.<br />
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<br />
The lights were all off when we stepped inside. However, the television played away some noire cop drama as a man sat on the couch...uh, watching? He sat slouched with his head in his hands, several beer cans on the floor, seemingly dead to the world.<br />
<br />
"Hey, Dad," Pieter spoke loudly to him. "This is my friend, Cinnamon. We're going to be staying the night, okay?"<br />
<br />
Mr. Clay slowly raised his head as if his skull weighed fifty pounds. His dull gray eyes glanced in our general direction before he nodded once and dropped his head back down into his palms.<br />
<br />
"Um, hello. It's nice to meet you," I greeted.<br />
<br />
There was no response, and Pieter shrugged.<br />
<br />
"You can bother, but there's not much point. Dad's harmless though. You mind getting the lights? I'm going to see if I can get Leo or Coral on the phone to let them know about Skylar."<br />
"O-Okay."<br />
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<br />
The switch by the kitchen counter turned on most of the room. The corner by Mr. Clay remained dark. I hesitated on turning those ones on too, so I quietly picked up the beer cans, rinsed them out, and put them in the recycling bin. Mr. Clay might have been an actual clay statue from how he showed no signs of caring for my presence.<br />
<br />
"You didn't have to do that, but thanks," Pieter said when he returned from the other room. He motioned us to sit at the small dining table. "Coral picked up. She said she would make sure to stop by the warehouse soon and see if she can contact our officers if any problems come up. Skylar is smart though. I do doubt he'll give away the warehouse."<br />
"That's good," I said slowly before glancing around. "But, what's all this?"<br />
"Dad's a zombie. Has been since my mom and him divorced after my little brother died."<br />
"Oh no...I'm so sorry. I didn't know."<br />
"Because I didn't say anything. Boulder died before he turned two. Mom claimed the devastation was what caused her to ask for a divorce, but who knows how that logic works for her then wanting nothing to do with me. I haven't seen or heard from her since she left. Dad quickly became that." Pieter motioned to Mr. Clay. "He goes to work, comes home and watches television while drinking, and usually ends up sleeping on the couch. He lets me do whatever I want without complaining about anything. He switched me to homeschooling in an instant. He knows I stay at the warehouse, and so hasn't reported me as missing. Should the police catch me, they'll just bring me here for me to go about my way again. Dad even keeps a jar of money for me to come and take whenever I need it. That's how I paid off the debt and covered your first weeks."<br />
"Oh. And your dad is really like this all the time?" I turned in my seat to see Mr. Clay hadn't moved a single inch.<br />
"Yes. It's why I like staying at the warehouse in the first place. I come here a few times a week to make sure he's still breathing though. It's where I came that first day when I went off. Dad was sick, so I had to shove some medicine down his throat. Most of the others don't know about all this, which is why I refused to say the truth."<br />
"Why <i>don't</i> you say anything?"<br />
"...Reasons," Pieter mumbled.<br />
<br />
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<br />
I didn't push to hear the reasons. Pieter showed off the kitchen that was surprisingly well stocked asking what I wanted to eat. His face fell when I eagerly choose a salad. I laughed, made the meal as Grandpa used to do, and managed to get a reluctant admittance from Pieter that it wasn't bad. He did end up making the three of us each a hamburger that I ate with gusto too. It was the most balanced food I'd had in a long time. Pieter said afterwards we could kick his dad off the television if I wanted to watch something, but I asked for a tour of the house. Pieter showed me his room, undecorated with merely a bed, nightstand, and dresser half-filled with spare clothes. We didn't stay long in what had been Boulder's room. There was a bathroom on both floors, an office upstairs, and then the master bedroom. Pieter and I spent most of the afternoon playing games on the computer when he put forth a highly enticing offer.<br />
<br />
"Really? It's okay?" I asked to confirm.<br />
"Sure. I'd rather not have you go to the library to use a computer if the librarians are being more active about missing kids. You're welcome to come here and use this whenever you want."<br />
"Thanks! I don't want to steal Skylar's story, but maybe I could make up one of my own. I can also study so I don't get too far behind."<br />
"Bleg, school." Pieter stuck out his tongue.<br />
"You should study too."<br />
"I'm already a lost cause."<br />
"You'll regret not trying later," I warned.<br />
"Then I'll regret it later and learn my lesson," Pieter smiled impishly.<br />
<br />
I rolled my eyes at him, and he distracted me from the conversation by taking me outside.<br />
<br />
"My favorite place is the edge of the ridge. The view is great. Let's race to<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
<br />
As soon as he said those words, he sped off. Unfortunately for the cheater, my legs sprung to action on their own where I overtook him in a second. I stood on the rock before he could fully process what had happened.<br />
<br />
"That was stupid of me. I should have known," he laughed.<br />
"You're right though. This view is beautiful," I gushed.<br />
<br />
Unlike when Mr. Basalt asked me the same this very morning, my words were genuine now.<br />
<br />
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<br />
The emerald of the pines contrasted in harmony with the burning oranges of the autumn leaves. The soft hues hidden amongst the gray rocks, the blending blues of the ocean and sky, and the clear touch of the wind spun my chest with merriment despite everything. Holding my hands together behind my back, I inhaled until my lungs could take no more.<br />
<br />
"Truly. It is beautiful."<br />
<br />
I spun around. Pieter, who inched closer slowly due to defeat, halted. His stare on me was strange, but how it was strange I couldn't say.<br />
<br />
"What?"<br />
"Just...nothing."<br />
"Why do people ever think that anyone believes them when they say 'nothing.' It only makes it more clear there's something on their mind."<br />
"You've said 'nothing' before too," Pieter pouted out with a pout.<br />
"Does it invalidate the question?"<br />
"I-I was just going to say the...the view is beautiful too!"<br />
"Then why didn't you?"<br />
"More reasons!"<br />
<br />
Pieter began shuffling down the shallower western side of the ridge.<br />
<br />
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<br />
Reasons, huh? Well, before the current day became the new one I found out a few of them. Pieter showed me around the area where he used money gotten from what his dad provided to get us snacks and spend time in the small arcade. Then we returned to play more computer games and run around outside. Pieter provided a t-shirt and shorts for me to wear to bed. First, however, I enjoyed the longest shower in the world. I pondered if Pieter and Mr. Clay wouldn't mind if I came here to bathe as well as use the computer. Anyway, true to routine, Mr. Clay collapsed for his nighttime snooze on the couch. His heavy breathing and thick snores reduced my guilt at slipping into his bed for the night. I only slept for an hour or two when the door opening and footsteps padding over woke me.<br />
<br />
"Pieter, what'sit?" I slurred sluggishly, struggling to both wake up and sit up. Somehow, I managed to lean far enough to turn on the lamp. Pieter stood before me sniffling with light tears rolling down his cheeks.<br />
"I...I..." Pieter wiped his nose with his sleeve. "I miss Skylar. I'm tired of people leaving. I really, really, really hate this house. It's just a reminder of how Mom doesn't care, how Dad doesn't really care, how lonely I am. Before you hugged me, I can't even remember the last time someone treated me like that. I wish you hadn't though, because I feel empty and cold when you let go."<br />
"You're touched starved," I noted softly.<br />
"What?"<br />
"It's a thing. We're wired as social animals, and touch is an important part of that. A lack can otherwise lead to how you feel. So," I patted the other side of the bed. "Join me."<br />
<br />
Pieter didn't protest. He hurriedly joined me under the covers. As soon as I turned off the light and rolled over, he held my hand before clutching my whole arm to his chest. While a little uncomfortable, I didn't mind. Pieter's tears also soon stopped.<br />
<br />
"Thanks," he whispered.<br />
I smiled. "Anytime."<br />
<br />
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<br />
Honestly, I was a little the same. Gravel hugging me had helped, but when Pieter got even cuddlier and we fell asleep embracing I discovered how much I missed a kind touch too. Pieter and I likely would have slept all morning had Mr. Clay not knocked on the door needing to get his clothes to change. Those hours weren't too bad though. I made fresh cinnamon pancakes for breakfast with scores of freshly cut fruit and cream. Pieter and I watched television until hunger called again, and we went all out making homemade pot pie. More games and relaxation came until school finally let out and the two of us could wander the long walk back to the warehouse.<br />
<br />
Just in time for a meeting, in fact.<br />
<br />
"They didn't even stay for five minutes?" Pieter frowned at the news.<br />
"Leo popped his head in to say our police confirmed we had nothing to worry about, he collected anything we had for rent, and off he was again," Jam explained.<br />
"You think Skylar being caught would have them stay for at least last night. They've only been here one other time so far this week, not really counting the quick moments where Coral drops off the food and runs back out," Cinnamon recounted bitterly.<br />
"I know. I know," Jessamine pressed sympathetically. "It's been a tense few weeks. Cori isn't staying anymore. Skylar being found and that opening up the worry others might catch us who don't want to be caught. Leo and Coral seemingly moving on. However, I did talk to Leo and Coral a lot this morning. They're just worn, okay? They've been living like this for over a decade, and we have to give them credit for being honest about wanting to live normally as soon as they can. They're not simply going to cut us high and dry though. Basically, the two are taking something of a vacation. A few weeks to get away...and also appease their neighbors who were beginning to get suspicious of how little they came around."<br />
"But what are we supposed to do in the meantime?" Tulip folded her arms.<br />
"They asked me to take care of the issues that popped up and collect the money. Coral will still pop by with food. Otherwise, just continue as normal. Things shouldn't change that much, to be honest," Jessamine shrugged.<br />
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<br />
Tulip, Cinnamon, and Jam weren't appeased, but my anxieties settled at Jessamine's explanation. Given the fact that if Pieter didn't hate his home I would suggest we stay there all the time instead, the addiction of a more normal life was difficult to ignore. I cringed at the thought of returning to these lumpy beds, cold walls, unsatisfying baths, and cold meals. Leo and Coral were well within their rights to have a break.<br />
<br />
"I was worried about you last night," Gravel said. He'd followed me into the one room when I went to return Skylar's notebook to the desk should he choose to runaway back here. "Leo said Pieter contacted him. Obviously, or we wouldn't have known about Skylar. Still, you two shouldn't have stayed on the streets."<br />
"We didn't. Pieter's really well-informed. He knew of a safe place to stay for the night and get some good meals."<br />
"Oh? Where?"<br />
"It's a secret." I held my finger to my lips.<br />
<br />
I crossed the room to check the windows, for it felt like more wind than normal seeped in. I must have just missed the warmth of a house with heating though. Then I found myself suddenly in the air.<br />
<br />
"Gravel!?" I exclaimed.<br />
"I mean it. I was really worried about you last night. Just need to reassure myself you're safe," he said as he clung me to his side like a toddler.<br />
"I am sorry. I didn't mean to worry you," I apologized.<br />
"How about a kiss on the cheek to seal that apology?"<br />
<br />
I shook my head in amusement and complied. A hissing chill from the window shuddered my back and arms with a shiver right after.<br />
<br />
"We're going to have an early winter this year. Coral should take you shopping again for even warmer clothes. She picked cute things for you. This outfit is my favorite. The skirt with the leggings really works," Gravel complimented.<br />
"I like the scarf," I grinned widely rubbing it between my fingers.<br />
"I'm not surprised. Why not just buy an entirely pink out next time?"<br />
"Oh! That's a good idea!"<br />
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<br />
We chit-chatted. Gravel got me excited for winter by promising me to take me to all the best sledding spots. He even said he knew someone who could make me a custom decorated sled so I could have koalamb right there with me as we flew down those frosty flakes. Jessamine wished to bathe though, which kicked us out of the room. I silently, and sadly, remarked on the realization that no one would have to sleep on the couches anymore.<br />
<br />
"Are you alright?"<br />
<br />
More so than the question, Tulip being the one to ask it after Gravel went outside to the port-a-potty caught me off guard.<br />
<br />
"Yeah?"<br />
"I heard you call out not too long ago. Was Gravel doing something?"<br />
"Oh, no. No, it was nothing like that. He just surprised me by picking me up. We were goofing off."<br />
"Mm."<br />
"Are you worried about something? This is the second time you've approached me talking about him."<br />
"I'm not worried about anything," Tulip spoke flatly, brushing her way past me to leave me uncertain again.<br />
"That answer is little different than 'nothing.'" I whispered to myself.<br />
<br />
I watched Tulip disappear from view and went about my way.</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-62317621386095853222020-01-13T00:45:00.002-05:002020-01-13T00:48:05.633-05:00Gen Four- Chapter Thirteen<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I frowned at Pieter. What was this he was getting me to do?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"I really don't think I can do this. It feels wrong..." I mumbled.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Remember what I said on your first day? They'll have a chance to catch us. That's something we make sure they have. I mean, I'm pretty good so they likely won't notice, but still. The point stands. Besides, we're hardly draining their banks accounts. If they're fine handing over a few bucks, what harm does it truly do to not spend it how we say we are? They're helping us survive either way. Honestly, they're giving us something infinitely more precious than what they think. Better karma will come their way, and we'll be closer to paying rent."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"I...guess. I still don't like it..."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"C'mon, Meg, it'll be fine. Remember, all you have to do is look unwell. I'll take care of the talking part."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"O-Okay," I agreed hesitantly, to which Pieter laughed.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Honestly, you don't have to act sick that much. Your moping face is pitiful enough."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
He poked my cheek. I swatted his hand away.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Let's just do this before they walk away."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Pieter sauntered off before I could change my mind. Unable to give in to my conscience burning holes in my nervous stomach, I dutifully followed. Pieter had to be right. It was a harmless dollar or two we were asking for. Spare change that went to ensure Pieter and I had a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. He and I weren't going to use it inappropriately.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Excuse me, ma'ams?" Pieter approached the two old ladies around the corner of the fancy movie theater entrance.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The burning holes flared until a sun replaced my gut. My acting became acting only because I had to pretend I wasn't as miserable as I actually felt.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Yes?" the orange and gray woman asked.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"We don't mean to bother you, but I was hoping you might be able to help my cousin and I out. We're waiting for my dad to pick us up, but he's running rather late. The thing is, my cousin is diabetic, and her blood sugar is beginning to drop. There's a vending machine with a granola bar for seventy-five cents, so is there a chance one of you can spare a dollar, please?"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Pieter lied so kindly and effortlessly I wondered if he wanted to go into the performance arts. He meant what he said. He was good.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Oh, dear, of course. Here, take this and get however much you need." The other woman cooed and handed him a five.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"I believe there's a drink machine by there as well. Take this and get some liquid in her as well." The other woman doubled the offering.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Thank you so much. I'll be sure to bring back the change," Pieter said.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Don't worry about it, sweetheart. Just kept it on hand if she needs something in the future."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"I will. Again, thank you."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Thank you," I forced out. My quivering voice and misty eyes were genuine.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My lungs accepted air again after we turned the corner, dashed off, and we were away from where the women could discover us. The buzzing of my skin faded, noises returned to my muffled hearing, and colors returned to their normal vibrancy.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"We made out really good. At best, I expected two dollars," Pieter said.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"I don't think I can do this stuff consistently," I explained.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"I suppose it's something you adjust to, depending on how desperate you are at the time." Pieter shrugged. "Regardless, this was meant to be a lesson, so I'm going to teach you properly. There are several key things to note. We used a good excuse while making it clear we didn't need other kinds of help. I implied my 'dad' would be arriving in the not so distant future, thus offering a ride would be useless, and I didn't mark you as being in a bad enough state to warrant medical attention. I also directly asked for the lowest amount possible. It throws off the suspicion of greed. Saying I would come back with the change adds to that."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Okay," I quietly repeated.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"One of the most important aspects of doing this is also to just take whatever's given. If they gave me the seventy-five cents, that's seventy-five cents I didn't have before. If one of them had a granola bar in their purse, that would have been a free snack. It only hurts to push the request for money. Better to walk off and try with the next person."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Hmm."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Pieter glanced back and smiled. He snuck his hand in mine to led me to a set of vending machines</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Wait, you're actually buying something?"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Another trick. If given enough, do the thing you said you're going to do. We simply deserve a snack as well."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I couldn't deny the candy bar Pieter offered. It'd been too long since I had such chocolate, caramel, and pretzel goodness. The change from that first five went into his pocket while the other bill went into mine. He and I quietly devoured our bars of sugar while we walked around the edges of the city. Assuming Pieter was looking for more scams to run,my heart jumped suddenly realizing I knew the corner we turned all too well. There the little park I'd hidden at came to view. My head searched this way and that for the police officer. Naturally, he was nowhere to be found. Pieter took my hand again to lure me forward before my quivering chest found the courage to allow me to say what had happened.<br />
<br />
But, as we stepped onto the lot, as the moments came and went...I didn't feel so scared anymore.<br />
<br />
The sun shone bright overheard despite the colder wind. The city bustled with noise and activity. Pieter was right there tasked once more to watch over me. I loosened my nerves realizing there was danger here no longer. My mind did still think of that night though. How I'd been lax in carrying a stick or weapon on me. How I'd forgotten about 'Jazzy'. How hard things had been for me on my own.<br />
<br />
"Hey, Meg?" Pieter called to me from the slide he'd run to.<br />
"Yeah?"<br />
"Tell me some cool stuff you know about. Spreading Roots is said to be crazy advanced compared to legal organizations, right?"<br />
"Sure, but I still haven't fully forgiven you, remember? I'm not going to tell you anything," I folded my arms.<br />
"Aww, but I'm doing so much. Paying your rent, helping you earn money, teaching you the tricks and secrets."<br />
"Because that's your <i>punishment</i> for lying. Your restitution doesn't earn you bonus points."<br />
"Just one word then. Give me one small hint just for the fact that you like me."<br />
"Barely," I scoffed, mostly jokingly.<br />
"But 'barely' is still a confirmation that I'm right," Pieter grinned widely.<br />
I rolled my eyes but smiled. "Fine then. I'll give you a word. Moss."<br />
"Moss?" Pieter repeated curiously.<br />
<br />
He glanced to the sky clearly trying to imagine how moss could be cutting-edge, and I let him wonder by making my way to the swings.<br />
<br />
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<br />
Gravel escorted me later that afternoon. It was Tuesday, a crucial day. Pieter helped me earn chump change here and there over the weekend, but it wasn't enough for rent. No more babysitting requests came for me either. Watching Jade and hoping Mr. and Mrs. Glaze meant what they said about paying me properly was my one last, proper shot at earning my fare without running around all day scrounging for pennies.<br />
<br />
"Seriously, if they try to screw you over, come out and get me. I won't let them treat you like that," Gravel promised upon us reaching the apartment building.<br />
"Thanks, Gravel," I beamed before having a thought enter my mind. "So, I wonder, do you have any younger siblings?"<br />
"Huh? Oh. I did have a younger sister when I lived at home. Why do you ask?"<br />
"Well..." I blushed lightly. "You're treating me like how I imagine a protective older brother would treat a little sister. It made me think maybe you are a big brother."<br />
<br />
Gravel stared past me, fondness yet sadness twinging his expression to memories of something lost.<br />
<br />
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up something unpleasant," I flustered.<br />
"No, you didn't. Don't worry I do have a little sister, Marble. We were incredibly close, and I miss her a lot everyday. I suppose I have begun to treat you as I did her. Hope it's not bothersome."<br />
"I don't mind. I'm honored." I dipped a little curtsy.<br />
<br />
Gravel simply laughed and dangled me in another consuming hug.<br />
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<br />
Then it was time to head to the call box and into the elevator. Walking through the front door was like dunking myself into ice water. My composure maintained only because Jade greeted me first.<br />
<br />
"Cin'mon! Play! Come play!" She cheetah-dashed and attached herself to my leg.<br />
"Hello, Jade."<br />
"Hi!"<br />
<br />
Following her much more appropriately, Mr. and Mrs. Glaze stood before me.<br />
<br />
"Thank you so much for coming again, Cinnamon. Jade couldn't stop asking when you'd get here. She had so much fun playing with you. A great number of the other babysitters just told her to play by herself while they watched television or did something else," Mr. Glaze said.<br />
"That defeats the purpose of the job, doesn't it?"<br />
"Exactly," Mrs. Glaze nodded definitively. "That's why we want to make sure you receive our appreciation for the wonderful effort you've put forth, which is why I'm giving this to you now."<br />
<br />
She slipped from her purse a check, and in my hands I held it like a box of gold bars. Written out for me to have was my payment. The entire promised one hundred dollars. Sixty for the inconvenience last time, and forty dollars for today.<br />
<br />
"Ah, thank you very much," I tried not to show how tearful the check made me.<br />
<br />
It got tucked securely into my pocket.<br />
<br />
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<br />
Jade couldn't hold back any longer. She dragged me to her bedroom only giving Mrs. Glaze enough time to call up the stairs explaining today's instructions were written in the same notebook as before. I soon heard the front door lock and the elevator ding. Jade proudly held up the new doll she'd gotten over the weekend, a brown one with braids hanging over her shoulders. Honestly, a few tears trickled down my cheeks the second she placed it in my hands.<br />
<br />
Perhaps because of that, I agreed to something I knew wasn't pleasant.<br />
<br />
Playing horsie.<br />
<br />
"Daddy won't do this with me," Jade explained, enraptured even by our slow circling on the carpet. My knees could no longer stand the wooden floor.<br />
"Being a horse is hard, so that's understandable." I tried not to show the wincing on my face. "So, Jade. Is your mom going to find out if you're going to have a brother or sister?"<br />
"Huh?"<br />
"Doctors can take special photos of the baby inside your mom. Have your parents mentioned anything like that?"<br />
"Oh, yeah! Mommy said we have a party in a few weeks."<br />
"Party?"<br />
"To show the special pi'tures."<br />
"That sounds fun."<br />
"You come?"<br />
"Hmm, maybe. Your parents would have to invite me, which I don't know if they want to."<br />
"You can come!"<br />
"I'll ask them when it gets closer to the date, how about that?"<br />
"Okay!"<br />
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<br />
Eventually, I had to quite being a horse. The skin on my knees daggered spikes that would bruise should I continue. Jade was thankfully fine with the two of us moving outside for a snack of pretzels and more playing. She showed off her fancy moves she'd learned in her ballet class she started yesterday when I turned on the radio. I showed her mine in return, which only wrenched my chest at how foreign they felt. Even walking around most of the day wasn't anything like the intensive exercise done at home. Adding onto the fact my meals weren't that great, some of my muscles squished more than I desired.<br />
<br />
"Oh, Jade. What's wrong?"<br />
<br />
I'd turned around for a second to turn back finding her crying her head off.<br />
<br />
"I-I wanted the f-flower, but the fence...!"<br />
<br />
I assumed she'd caught her finger in the decorative swirls on the fence when reaching her hand through.<br />
<br />
"Let me take a look."<br />
"Don't touch it!" Jade bawled, squirming.<br />
"I won't, promise."<br />
<br />
Kneeling down to inspect the damage, a long breath of relief came out seeing there wasn't really that much damage. Jade's finger only had the faintest discoloration from the pulling, there wasn't a single cut or scratch, and there were no signs the bones was broken.<br />
<br />
"Yup, this is the kind of owie that calls for some magic," I declared.<br />
"Magic?"<br />
"Yes, watch."<br />
<br />
I tickled my fingers up Jade's other arm, around her head, down her stomach, and back down her injured side making up random, arcane woods before lifting her arm and gently snapping it down like a flick of the wand.<br />
<br />
"That should make your finger feel better. It takes the good feeling from your other hand and brings it to the owie."<br />
"It does feel better!" Jade exclaimed in awe.<br />
<br />
Grandpa created this 'spell' for me when I was little. I believed in it for the longest time until Mr. Mint pointed out it likely helped with the hurt because it redirected my focus off the pain and to the pleasant sensation of the light tickle.<br />
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<br />
Crying madly in one second, Jade then bounced around like an excited bunny with mad squeals begging with all the force her lungs could muster for me to teach her more magic. I said I would, but only if we cleaned up her toy box. That condition saw us flying through the requirements Mrs. Glaze left behind once more. What also flew was the rest of the time until Jade's parents returned. They thanked me again for taking care of their daughter so well, and the elevator couldn't take me to the ground floor fast enough.<br />
<br />
"Things go well?" Gravel asked with a tilted smile at me bounding over.<br />
"Jade and I had a lot of fun, and Mr. and Mrs. Glaze gave me this before I even began working today." I shoved the check in his face.<br />
"Today's snack is on you then?" he teased.<br />
"Nope! Mr. and Mrs. Glaze said their meetings happen last second most of the time, and their schedules shift frequently. They asked if I could come again tomorrow afternoon. I'm going to have Leo deposit this to pay off my rent and put the extra in savings. What I get tomorrow will be my spending money."<br />
"So, snacks will be on you tomorrow?" Gravel's grin widened.<br />
"Sure. But what are you buying me today?"<br />
"Wow, you're really taking this little sister thing to its fullest, aren't you?" he laughed loudly.<br />
"I want popcorn! Popcorn~!" I sang, grabbing his arm and pulling while I bounced towards the sidewalk.<br />
"Fine," Gravel relented without a fight. "There's a store that pops fresh bags this way."<br />
<br />
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<br />
Forgetting about my earlier worry of not keeping my body to the same standards as before, I said nothing at Gravel buying three bags. One for each of us, and the third was to share when those ran out. I'm ashamed to say we finished all three well before the warehouse came into sight. Gravel, unfortunately, returned to his quiet shell as soon as we stepped through the doors. I didn't see why he couldn't easily open up to the others as he had me, but it would have to be his decision. Forcing him wouldn't do any good. Thus, I surprised Leo showing him the check. He took it, relieved as I was. Finding Jessamine was next on my agenda.<br />
<br />
"Ugh, I'm so sorry," she sniffled after a massive sneeze. She'd barely turned away in time to avoid blasting me. "Eww, right into my hand too. That came out fast."<br />
"Getting sick?" I wondered while she popped a small bottle of hand sanitizer from her pocket.<br />
"I don't think so. This place is just freezing! Too much wind comes off the sea, and this building has next to no insulation. Most of the windows are pretty bad too. If only it wasn't so expensive to run the space heaters all the time."<br />
"I was thinking about that, actually. Pieter told me about the heaters, and my first thought was how much it cost to constantly charge them. Things might be better if we invested in heated blankets?"<br />
"Heated blankets?"<br />
"Uh-huh. There are ones that run on electricity and ones that are battery-operated. We'd want the latter, of course. Leo and Coral could just charge a heater for the common area, maybe this bedroom because of the bath, and then when everyone goes to sleep the blankets keep them warm. We could also walk around with them. I'm not sure how long the batteries last, but replacing them would still likely be way cheaper in the long run."<br />
"That's a good idea. Seriously, I'd love a soft blanket I can walk around with everywhere while it warms me. How expensive are they?"<br />
"Depends on the quality and size. I looked up the prices when I was trying to figure out how to handle the winter before I came here. The cheap ones go for about thirty-five dollars, but the best ones average one hundred."<br />
"Not too bad for an investment that could save money in the long-term. I'll make sure to mention it with Leo and Coral with full credit going to you. Seriously, I'm glad you joined this family."<br />
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<br />
It was simple praise Jessamine gave me. While it was nice to feel wanted and have my idea supported, she'd hardly said anything outrageously kind. It shouldn't have affected me past boosting my cheerfulness momentarily. A large of the problem came to be that I didn't feel happy. The complete opposite, in fact. Jessamine turned to get a tissue. Tears assaulted my eyes without warning where my face scrunched at the horror on the sudden onslaught. There was no hiding anything. Streams drenched my cheeks as my breathing hitched. I might as well be Jade, bawling for the whole world to hear.<br />
<br />
"Hey, what's wrong?" Jessamine frowned in concern.<br />
"I...I don't..."<br />
<br />
Harder and harder I stole my breaths. My palms smashed into my face desperate to hide and claim any decency left. A little puddle collected on the floor from the waterfall dripping off my nose.<br />
<br />
"I...I miss my dad and grandpa! But, but I hate them so much! But I hate that I hate them! I don't know! Dad never loved me! He only said that he did! A-And, Grandpa...he might have loved me, yet he just stood aside as Dad did so many horrible things! People were killed, and Mom was hurt so, so badly! Then she was killed too, and my twin sister as well! Why then...why then do I want to run into their arms like before? If there was the choice to be with them, to go back to living how we were before...part of me feels like I might be willing to just forget everything!"<br />
"Cinnamon..." Jessamine whispered.<br />
<br />
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<br />
The room went silent momentarily save for my sobbing. Jessamine eventually released a heavy breath and softly rubbed my shoulders.<br />
<br />
"You've been holding in a lot, huh? I had no idea you had a sister."<br />
"We were fraternal twins, my sister being older. Apparently, my mom slept with the guy she actually loved and was dating before she was kidnapped. My sister was his child instead of Dad's. That's why he killed her days after she was born. I didn't know she even existed until after Dad and Grandpa were arrested."<br />
"I'm so sorry. What was her name?"<br />
"...Cinnamon."<br />
<br />
I had little strength to hold back. Jessamine, naturally, gave me a look.<br />
<br />
"What's your name then?"<br />
<br />
To that, I shook my head.<br />
<br />
"Well, despite that, it's clear to me you feel safe here. Safe enough with me as well to let the wall you built break, no matter if you wanted it to break or not."<br />
"<i>Should</i> I hate them?" I asked desperately, Jessamine a giant blob of color in my sight. "Grandpa especially cared for me so well. The reason he and Dad were arrested was because he gave them up. He wanted me to live freely, break out of the lies. Is he not a good person?"<br />
"I...don't know. Sorry. There's likely not a good answer to give you. The situation is complicated. People are complicated. All I can say for certain though is you're wanted here. I'll help take care of you. Promise."<br />
"Thanks, Jess," I sniffled loudly. "Can you promise not to mention my sister and the fact that my name isn't Cinnamon too?"<br />
"Of course."<br />
<br />
The corners of my eyes now burning and exhaustion hitting me hard, I collapsed against her chest for a good embrace.<br />
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<br />
However, the emotions were slow to leave. Tears returned after the brief respite where Jessamine had to shoo off Jam wanting a bath in order to grant me the peace to release everything without worry. I ran the water when I couldn't hide any longer refresh my skin and have an excuse for my weird expression. Pain, confusion, and nostalgia urged me to the shore to find some rocks. I'd given up what I found the day I snuck out in order to not burden myself. Now that I was here, holding on to a few random rocks wouldn't hurt.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, Cinnamon stopped me on my way. The splashing of water hadn't stopped the last of the tears, so I met her rubbing my misty gaze.<br />
<br />
"Eww." She backed away quickly holding up her hands like I had the plague.<br />
"Lay off it for one minute, will you?" I scoffed bitterly. "I'm not sick."<br />
"Aww, is the baby just sad?"<br />
"You know, I thought the point of this place was for it to be safe from the world's cruelty. You and Tulip are hypocrites acting this way. Bullying is abuse too."<br />
"Except we're not hypocrites. You're <i>not</i> one of us. You're an outsider, and you'll be an outsider until we say so. It's only fair for us to protect what's important to us."<br />
"Important to you? That's bullshit. You and Tulip hardly interact with anyone else. I've been here less than a month, and I can probably tell you more about everyone than you can tell me."<br />
"But you know who <i>you</i> weren't important to?" Cinnamon taunted.<br />
"Yeah, yeah. My mom, you're going to say. Sing a different tune, why don't you? The fact that that's what came out of your mouth and not a real argument makes it ever more clear that I'm right and you're a bitch," I growled.<br />
"<i>You're</i> a...a...bi..."<br />
"Aww, is the good little girl too perfect to say a no-no word?"<br />
<br />
Cinnamon's cheeks flushed. She stomped her foot, spun on her heel, and scurried off. I stuck my tongue out with a nasty scowl. How dare she have the same name as my sister! It pissed me off.<br />
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<br />
My goal changed due to her. Leo returned my ten dollars once I gave him the check. Having a bit of spare money made me feel better. In this case, I ignored Skylar calling to come goof off with him to dash to a gardening store. Most of the plants were being put away due to the colder weather. Luck was with me though. I found a pot of dianthus flowers marked down due to some of the flowers wilting and the stems drooping. Paying six dollars for the plant didn't make me hesitate in the slightest. I walked tall and proud holding my purchase. There was nowhere to plant it by the warehouse, but I didn't want to plant it anywhere in the ground. My whole chest, not just my stomach, wrenched and shuddered with nausea thinking of all the years I spent resting next to the flowers at home with the skeletons of Mom and Cinnamon mere feet below me. They hadn't deserved that. I pressed on until I reached the cemetery. There were several in the city, but this one made the most sense with its quieter and more nature-filled location. Anyone getting too made at me digging into the ground seemed unlikely since I stayed away from anyone's grave and was adding to the decor instead of messing it up, yet I hid behind the tree I dug the hole for my flowers for whenever anyone drove or walked by. The pond on the lot allowed me to clean my dirt-stained hands.<br />
<br />
Then...I just sat. I sat by the flowers thinking and not thinking at the same time. The one real thought pressing into my brain was that I still had no word for feeling everything and nothing at the same time.<br />
<br />
"Hey, Mom?"<br />
<br />
My lips could barely form the words. I curled my tongue disgusted at having the audacity to talk to her like this anymore, but I couldn't leave with my feelings unsaid.<br />
<br />
"I'm...sorry for all that happened. I would change it in an instant if I could. If the universe gave me the choice to have you and Cinnamon away safe with your family in exchange for my existence, well...that's simply the right thing to do, isn't it? You were going to be a doctor. Save lives. Cinnamon was the child you made from love. The one who was wanted. Me? I...I never had any real purpose." I dug my heel into the loamy dirt. "Dad used me as an experiment, and once that reason went away I lost what use I was. I'm not living for anything. I'm lying, I'm faking, I'm stealing, I'm taking advantage of the true good there is in this world just to make sure I can draw one more breath. That truly is it. I'm breathing and taking up space. Even when I'm older, become an adult<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> it's not like I can do anything then. I don't exist in the system. I can't get a real job, live in a real house. I'll be here until the end of my days...ripping away the pieces of myself that feel good merely for the sake of existing.<br />
<br />
A cold wind blew with a moaning cry. I shivered and numbly held a petal between my fingers.<br />
<br />
"If Tulip and Cinnamon are any example, it shows me how much what Dad did hurt you. I really am sorry I'm part of the agony put into your life. I don't mind that you hated me. Truly, I don't. I understand. I just had to say all this first. These flowers won't last long with me replanting them so late in the year. If I could just come here until they wilt, I won't bother you after that."<br />
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<br />
The wind slammed harder in its roll against the ground, the moan bellowing deeper. The cerulean sky glittered bright with few clouds, but I hadn't checked the weather. A storm could be coming in. I hurried back to the warehouse not wanting to be caught. The rain didn't come though. I played with Skylar as he wanted and otherwise returned to passing the time waiting for more time to come. Jessamine, showing the signs of a real cold now, stayed with me the next day as it was my turn to watch the place. She mostly slept while I cleaned and took survey of the windows. There was special, clear material like cling wrap we could put over them assist in keeping out the cold if we could find a way to get hard heat on them, like from a hair dryer.<br />
<br />
Babysitting Jade in the afternoon was a most welcome event. Seeing her brightened my day as much as it did hers. We played a lot, I convinced her to help me straighten up her things, and we enjoyed a delightful snack of fruit salad. Mr. and Mrs. Glaze returned at the proper time like normal handing me another check. I was thanking them and saying my goodbye when Mr. Glaze turned to me with something of a frown.<br />
<br />
"Cinnamon, there's an orange man here saying he's your foster father. He wants to come up."<br />
"Leo? That is my foster dad, yeah."<br />
<br />
Mr. Glaze paged him in. The three of us waited curiously, and I addressed Leo the instant he came inside.<br />
<br />
"Leo? What's up? I thought Gravel was going to walk me home like normal."<br />
"He was, but I decided I needed to come today. I got a call from the bank, you see. The check you were given bounced."<br />
<br />
The air immediately stiffened. Not overly familiar with checks, I assumed something went wrong where it didn't process properly.<br />
<br />
"Oh my, we're sorry," Mrs. Glaze gasped. "We realized this morning we forgot to transfer funds between our accounts to make sure there was enough to pay Cinnamon. We must have moved them too late, causing the problem."<br />
"How were you paid today, Cinnamon?"<br />
"Another check."<br />
"I see. Mr. and Mrs. Glaze, I hope you can understand why I'll ask now if all of Cinnamon's accrued payment can be given to us in cash. She has now received a mere ten dollars for three days of work, and <i>I've</i> had to pay a fee to the bank for your check not working."<br />
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<br />
Both parties smiled. However, none of them were happy.<br />
<br />
"We are sorry for the trouble. However, the check Cinnamon has will work. We can write another for the one that hasn't gone through, covering the cost of the bank fee. I'm afraid, however, to go to the bank at this moment will<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"<br />
"There's an ATM right on the corner of your building," Leo interrupted Mr. Glaze. "I saw it when I came in. You and your wife have finished your obligations given that this is the time Cinnamon was given to stop watching your daughter. It won't take five minutes for just one of you to go to the ATM and get the money. The fee for using the machine can be payment for me having the bank fine. All you need in Cinnamon's payment."<br />
"That ATM isn't working at the moment."<br />
"It is," Leo scowled within his grin. "The reason why I noticed it was because someone was using it. If it was broken earlier, it's fixed now."<br />
<br />
Silence drenched the room. Jade tip-toed down the steps to see the new person, but I motioned her back upstairs. Surprisingly, she went without complaint.<br />
<br />
"Or..." Leo's displeasure became direct. "Are you refusing because you have no intentions to pay her? You thought you could steal however many days of her effort with checks that won't work and excuses relying on her faith and good will?"<br />
"W-Why<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>?! I never!" Mrs. Glaze gasped.<br />
"How dare you accuse us of such terrible behavior?" Mr. Glaze snapped.<br />
"Then gladly prove me wrong and ensure Cinnamon is paid by getting her money from the ATM. Surely leaving her who you trust to watch Jade and your wife to tend to your daughter for three or four minutes is not an issue if your intentions are true? I'll leave the building too if my presence upsets you."<br />
"I will do no such thing!"<br />
"Mr. Glaze..." I mumbled, but he ignored me.<br />
"That's you proving my suspicions right. Well, Cinnamon will work for you no longer, and I can only hope you grow a conscience for whatever poor girl you choose to 'hire' next."<br />
"Good riddance! Misty and I were not wanting Cinnamon around anymore anyway! How she wears a color that's not hers, it's horrifying! We don't want our daughter around someone like that! Although, I should not blame here but blame you! You're clearly the bad influence, and how old are you even? You barely look college-aged let alone old enough to raise a child properly!"<br />
"Oh, if there's one thing I learned fostering, it's that age doesn't mean anything. People are terrible no matter how many years they have on them. Just look at you. You're the proper daddy age, and the example you're setting for your child is to lie and steal. You're telling her a person's worth is tied to how they like to dress themselves. That's far more terrible than the not terrible thing of Cinnamon wearing pink to remember her deceased mother."<br />
"You walk out right now, or I'm calling the cops!" Mr. Glaze jammed his finger in front of Leo's face.<br />
"And you're just proving me ever more right with each breath," Leo replied calmly, folding his arms.<br />
"You<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>!"<br />
"We're leaving! We're leaving!" I promised, jumping between the two. "Mr. and Mrs. Glaze, I'm glad you let me spend time with Jade. She's a really sweet girl, and I liked getting to play with her. If you could...could you just write a good review for me on the website? It won't take more than a minute, and it's completely free. It'll be really helpful in having others deciding to hire me. That's all I want to ask for. Okay?"<br />
<br />
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<br />
I didn't get a response. Mrs. Glaze left whining on how she needed to go check on Jade and make sure she was alright, and Mr. Glaze turned away demanding again that we leave. Leo prompted nothing further. He guided me out of the building with a hand on my back where I didn't know what to say and Leo said nothing until we were on the quiet road to the wharf.<br />
<br />
"Do you have that check for today's payment?"<br />
"Um, yeah."<br />
<br />
He took it, inspected it closely, and held it up to the light.<br />
<br />
"The damn thing's fake," he glared. "It doesn't have the right marking and security details. They must have just gotten some paper real checks are made on to create the ones they gave you."<br />
"That's fraud though, right? Can't they get in trouble for that?"<br />
"If we press charges, but we can't do that. Not without exposing how we're living. It's one of the problems with the situation. There's little we can do to fight back." Leo sighed. "I'm sorry about them. They shouldn't have treated you like that."<br />
"It's okay. It hurts a little how he talked about me because they were nothing but nice and complimentary until that point, but...I mean, I can't call them out on their behavior when Pieter spent the weekend teaching me the same stuff they were doing. Lying and making excuses for our benefit."<br />
"There's a difference. I'm sure Pieter explained it at least in some manner. We give people the choice. We let <i>them</i> decide how much, if anything, they can spare, and we indeed don't press if the person feels they're in a situation where they need the money just as much too. Mr. and Mrs. Glaze, on the other hand, were draining every drop they could get of your time and effort leaving you high and dry in compensation."<br />
"It still doesn't feel that different to me." I shrugged. "I don't want to have to con people."<br />
"We'll find a better place for you then, okay? Don't worry about your rent for this week either. You're trying hard. That's good enough for now."<br />
"Okay..." I agreed softly.<br />
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<br />
I moped the rest of the afternoon, cuddling with Gravel while he made up a fantasy story where Mr. and Mr. Glaze were the evil villains who received righteous justice. It was good therapy. Anger did begin to settle in, but mostly sadness curled my heart like a chain. Not getting to see Jade anymore truly hurt the most. The next morning I explore the quieter roads for change and found two whole pennies. Jam followed having nothing else to do, and so the two of us went to the library after school got out. I wanted to check the babysitting website. While I doubted Mr. and Mrs. Glaze cared to follow through with my request, what I found shocked me motionless.<br />
<br />
"What!?" I gasped, horrified, not blinking.<br />
"What?" Jam wandered over.<br />
"They..." I numbly pointed to the screen. "That couple that scammed me. I asked them to just leave me a good review, because I did do good work."<br />
"That's a one star though," Jam noted dryly.<br />
"Yeah." I whispered. "They wrote that I ignored Jade, tried to teach her 'disturbed witch magic', insisted I was her sister, and got my violent foster father to demand additional payment. That's...no one's going to hire me now!"<br />
"Can't you write reviews for the parents? Can't you give them a single star and say how they're lying?"<br />
"I could, but who's going to believe me? I'm a poor girl living in foster care already too young for most parents to want who wears a color that isn't mine while Mr. and Mrs. Glaze are a richer couple following all of society's norms. That doesn't even get into the fact that most people aren't going to check their profile for my rebuttal anyway."<br />
"I'm sorry, Cinnamon. You can help me rake Mr. Macaron's yard when the leaves fall, if you want."<br />
"I..."<br />
<br />
I had nothing to say.<br />
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<br />
Jam wanted to stay at the library longer to play some computer games. I, however, wanted to curl up in a nice, warm bed until the week was over. My feet shuffled me to the warehouse hoping one of the rooms was empty for me to get at least a small hint of privacy and quiet to deal with this new blow. Seeing Tulip and Cinnamon standing by the one unlocked door ruined that instantly.<br />
<br />
"Look, Cinny. It's the failed abortion walking by," Tulip taunted, Cinnamon giggling along impishly.<br />
<br />
Especially today, my goal of how to get along with them died even harder.<br />
<br />
"At least my mother had a reason to not want me. You were from a normal pregnancy and had several years to make your mother love you. She didn't give a shit, hasn't given a shit, and, should you miraculously meet on the street, will abandon you again because she doesn't give a shit." I smiled widely. "I don't think I'm the pitiful one here."<br />
<br />
Tulip's mouth dropped open as her cheeks burst with a darkened scald. I just kept walking until I was inside. She couldn't follow me inside without making a commotion and giving away her bullying.<br />
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<br />
However, despite my response I wasn't unaffected by her cruel words and their hurtful laughter. I sped as fast as I could to the corner room wishing no one was in there due to it being colder, but Gravel sat on the bed. At least with him when the tears pooled again he just opened his arms to take me in. We sat on the bed for the longest time with me drowning the room with crying and sniffles.<br />
<br />
"Do you really mean what you said?" I squeaked.<br />
"About what?"<br />
"About believing we'll find a place somewhere where we won't have to ask if we're lucky because we'll know we are? I don't think I can believe that at all. The lone thing I see is me stuck here forever in a meaningless life. Looking down that path, it makes me not want to exist! I can't handle the idea that there's nothing waiting."<br />
"No, no, no. Shhh," Gravel cooed, pulling me almost uncomfortably tight. "Don't think like that. You're far too young. I know. I know it's been hard. But, despite them being rough, it's only been a few months. Things will get easier. Things will get better. I promised I'd help too, right? Anything you need, I'm here for you. You're not in a meaningless life. You mean a lot to me."<br />
"Promise?"<br />
"Promise."<br />
<br />
I couldn't say if his words made me feel better, but my crying did slow. I quieted enough, in fact, to where Gravel and I heard something of a fuss going on outside. Gravel peeked out the window.<br />
<br />
"What's going on?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.<br />
"It looks like the strap on Cinnamon's shoe broke, and Tulip fell down and scraped her knees. Bad luck. Huh. It must be really windy outside too. Their hair is blowing everywhere."<br />
"It wasn't that windy when I came in, but that's good to hear. Karma's getting them."<br />
"Have they been doing something wrong?" Gravel wondered.<br />
"Later," I sighed.</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-14558277968963854872020-01-06T15:24:00.001-05:002020-01-06T15:24:18.569-05:00Gen Four- Chapter Twelve<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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All it took was a few hours on my first night sleeping on one of the couches to learn the floor was the preferable option. Even the couch in that apartment with Mr. Flaxen had been better. I'd dropped to the ground where my weary eyes kept awake by discomfort instantly slid me into peaceful bliss. Coriander had been on the other side of the room that night. We'd both slept soundlessly until Jessamine coming out to begin her day jokingly poked us each with her foot. This morning, however, my companion in sharing the lesser sleeping arrangements cared nothing for letting me doze as late as I wanted. Tulip only had one night every week to not have a bed simply for fairness's sake and not because she didn't earn enough money. This was my first day of the new week where I was on a timer to make that fifty dollars.</div>
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"Ah, what a beautiful morning," Tulip spoke obnoxiously loud.</div>
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She stomped about remarking unnecessarily on mundane things and narrating her actions like she was a character in a book. Clearly, she meant to wake me up and keep me up by being annoying. I didn't care as much as she wanted though. My desire for a few more minutes of rest blocked out her attempts at being distracting.</div>
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What did force me out of the sleeping bag was the urge to use the restroom. The line for the one port-a-potty could get long if everyone stirred at the same time. That's why I rushed up to get my chance before the line could form or I would be stuck in that awkward moment doing my business with someone waiting and listening on the other side of the plastic. Tulip shifted to ignoring me when I returned, and I should have left it at that. The stupid idea to keep doing what I'd been doing blossomed in my chest though while rolling up the sleeping bag and fixing my ribbons.</div>
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"Good morning. Sleep well?" I approached with a smile.</div>
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Kill her with kindness. That was the grand plan. It made sense enough in my mind. Tulip thought she could drive me out by being the biggest bitch possible. However, the more she sought to achieve that the longer I planned to stay. I, in fact, refused to leave until my cheerful brand of stubbornness beat her sour attitude. In that particular moment, she stared down at me with the thickest expression of disgusted exasperation.</div>
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"You think you're <i>so</i> cute, don't you? Believing I'll give you a break if you act sweet. It only makes me despise you more."</div>
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"That's fine. All I can do is my best. How I feel about my actions is more important than what others think about them."</div>
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"Now I want to barf. I mean, I always do when I see you and your stupid ribbons, but even more so than before."</div>
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"What's wrong with my ribbons?" I held the end of my braid for inspection.</div>
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"You're not pink, for one. I love my color, so seeing you dirty it not knowing your place drives me up the wall. Then your delusion thinking you're honoring your mother wearing them also churns my stomach. Do you not understand what you were to her? You're the face of her rapist and murderer. You were <i>not</i> wanted. Get it? She would not acknowledge you as hers given the chance, and she wouldn't want you thinking you could lay claim to her either."</div>
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"The couch and sleeping bag aren't the best sleeping situation, I understand," I spoke holding back a quivering breath, still trapping what was left of my smile. "I'm sure your mood will improve after breakfast."</div>
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Tulip scoffed and rolled her eyes as I returned to my side of the floor. Exhaling ever so slowly to hide that she did know the one topic to break me down fast, I fiddled with the sleeping bag ties just to give me something to do. No way did I want to change in front of Tulip, but I didn't want to wake Jessamine and Cinnamon by slipping in their room. Breakfast couldn't distract me either until Leo and Coral came out.</div>
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"Ugh!"</div>
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Tulip suddenly squealed at the same time she thumped hard onto one knee. I turned around in time to see her wobbling to her feet wearing a scalding face of fury.</div>
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"How dare you!" she barked.</div>
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"What?" I asked, genuinely confused.</div>
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"You just pushed me over!"</div>
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"Uhh..." Honestly, how was I meant to respond? I'd done no such thing, and to push her over and return to my spot facing away from her as quickly as she turned around defied physics. "I...I'm fast, but I'm not that fast."</div>
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"You<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>!" Tulip raged.</div>
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Thankfully, she wasn't proud enough to push the impossible. Suppressed embarrassment replaced much of the anger when understanding also hit her that there was no way I'd done any pushing. Tulip faced away again with a huff. She busied herself gathering her things and brushing her hair, complaining about a draft of cold air leaking in from somewhere. I let her be. No sense stirring up that beehive.</div>
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Leo blessedly came out several minutes later. Breakfast was cereal. I chose the bran flakes, not minding the blander taste and wanting to have the healthier option when possible. My hands and legs shivered by the end of my bowl though. The cold milk didn't exactly help the fact that the warehouse did trap the cold with an icy bite. Pieter explained there were rechargeable space heaters Leo and Coral charged at their apartment, but they were only to be used when the frigid temperatures couldn't be combated with warmer clothes and blankets. The rising sun and me changing in my normal clothes brought me to a more comfortable state. Since I was kinda giving up on living alone in my hut, my mind wandered to expanding my wardrobe.</div>
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A matter brought to the forefront by someone else aware of the impending problem.</div>
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"Ah, Cinnamon. I know you're heading out, but do you have a quick moment?" Coral stopped me outside.</div>
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"I was leaving a bit early to make sure I wouldn't be late. I have a few minutes," I confirmed.</div>
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"This won't take even that long. I wanted to check if you wished to go shopping with me later this afternoon."</div>
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"Shopping? Like help you get groceries?"</div>
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"No. It would be clothes shopping for you. The temperature is starting to drop fast, and you don't have good outfits for such weather."</div>
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"I...but I don't have the money for rent this week yet. I can't afford any clothes," I pointed out.</div>
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"I know. This would be my treat. Tulip is forever spoiling Cinnamon, and I was looking forward to getting to do the same for someone this time. Besides, there's this absolutely cute second-hand shop for younger girls that I've always wanted to go into," Coral beamed.</div>
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"I don't think I can say no then," I laughed.</div>
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Coral clapped her hands together and positively radiated joy. I could see why the others considered Coral the 'mom' more than ever. She was hardly older than Jessamine and Tulip, but her excitement to dote on me broke ever more my desire to return to my hut. Tulip being clingy on Cinnamon actually really helped me as well. The girls in this 'family' remained outnumbered despite my addition. Coral didn't have wiggle room to be close to Tulip and Cinnamon, and her and Jessamine didn't seem especially close either. I was the lone source of doting care she could bestow.</div>
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"Oh, good. You're still here, Gravel," Coral said when he rounded the corner.</div>
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To help prove my point, this then happened.</div>
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"Would you mind walking Cinnamon to her job?"</div>
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"I know which building it is. I don't need to inconvenience him," I said.</div>
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"It's no bother. We want to make sure you get where you need go safely, huh?"</div>
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Gravel read the subtle command, shrugged, said nothing as usual, and motioned for me to walk with him. Coral waved us farewell.</div>
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Despite what Leo had said about needing to know the basics, no one really knew anything about Gravel. He'd been chased from his house from his parents and had been here a year and a half. That was it. No one pestered him for conversation, he obviously felt no need to talk, and he simply did what he needed while causing no issues. The burning itch of curiosity coursed my body with an ache though as our walk into the city progressed. Gravel didn't stare with his quiet eyes the disheartened defeat of one who'd been scorned by the world. Heartbreak or sadness didn't radiate off him. He just appeared a normal guy. It could be he was good at hiding such things, but, despite his silence, I didn't get the feel that was the case.</div>
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"Do you feel lucky?" My tongue twitching for conversation finally spat out a thought.</div>
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The question worked too. Gravel stopped walking for the briefest second, caught off guard.</div>
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"That's an interesting question," he pondered, his voice normal. "What do you mean?"</div>
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"I suppose it's not so much do <i>you</i> feel lucky, but...I've been wondering how I should consider my situation. The life I had before was wonderful, but it was built on horrible lies. It should be a good thing I finally found out the secrets. However, most everything has only been miserable since the truth came out. I was put in a situation where I, a kid, felt safest living on the streets. Now I've found this 'family'. Some parts of it are good. Some parts of it are bad. Just like most things in life are, I guess. I don't know though. Even with everything it's helped me with, I'm still a kid living on the streets dealing with the fact that the people I loved hurt me and the rest of my family who should love me hates me instead."</div>
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"You want solidarity in regards to your conflicted feelings," Gravel put it together.</div>
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"I think that's what I'm asking, yeah."</div>
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"I don't want to be living at the warehouse, for sure. Yet, what can I do about it? I can't go home. It's not safe for me there. This was my only choice to keep myself from being hurt. It sucks that it is the only option. I'm sorry that it's the only option for you. I wish for the day it's different for both of us." Gravel turned back with a warm smile. "Because we'll definitely find the place where we don't have to wonder if we should count ourselves lucky because we'll know we are."</div>
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A smile matching his curled my lips.</div>
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We arrived at the building with time passing effortlessly. Gravel and I spoke of what we missed from home. Not wanting to dig too deep, my shoulders relaxed when we got stuck on the the topic of food. He recounted all his favorite dishes while I shared some of grandpa's recipes it was hard to live without. The idea that Gravel wished to be left alone firmly flew out of my mind upon that arrival. He wasn't anti-social. He just needed the right questions. Some people required more than simple chatter to care to be engaged, after all.</div>
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"You're done here around one, right?" Gravel asked.</div>
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"That's when they said they'll be back."</div>
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"I get done a little before that. I'll wait here so I can walk you home."</div>
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"I'd love that, thanks," I said gratefully. "What kind of work will you be doing?"</div>
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"There's this group who buys storage sheds that haven't been paid for. They're also hired to clear out stuff from houses, usually of grandparents who have passed away. I'm not an official employee, but they pay me in cash when I have the time to help them gather everything up, inventory it, and load it out in the warehouse they have of their own. They generally let me pick a thing or two from each haul as well. Some stuff I've kept, but mostly I pick lesser value items that still sell for a decent price. Let me know if there's anything you want, and if I ever come across it I'll see what I can do."</div>
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"Anything koalamb!" I jumped on the offer instantly.</div>
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"Koalamb? Oh, from that monster show."</div>
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"That's the one."</div>
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"Got it," Gravel chuckled.</div>
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He ruffled my hair and made sure I got inside the building first before taking off. I straightened my hair, hit the buzzer button, and told my hands to stop sweating on the elevator ride to the top floor. The research I'd been so proud of for what I could do to earn money ended up disappointing. Half of the ideas wouldn't work because I had to register my identity with someone, leaving my situation wide open for discovering. Then the other problem was my age. People didn't trust kids like me with the responsibilities that would provide cash. My best hope was the babysitting website Leo helped me sign up on, but I soon realized when a good number of requests were to watch children my age or not that much younger that my climb would be a steep one. Only one request came my way, which led me to where I was now.</div>
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Being led through the front door of one of four penthouse apartments had me meeting my client in-person for the first time.</div>
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"Hello, Mrs. Glaze. It's nice to meet you," I said politely.</div>
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"Likewise," she replied with a nod. "I'm glad to see you being punctual. The last few babysitters thought the arrival time was open to interpretation. Reading your profile, however, made me confident I made the right choice in asking you to come over today."</div>
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"I hope I can live up to what you expect. This is my first time babysitting, but I'll do my best."</div>
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"You seem like an honest and upright young lady." Mrs. Glaze said that, and then her eyes traveled down to notice my ribbons. Her expression fell with dislike for a moment. I didn't want to give the ribbons up, but Pieter was probably right. Removing them to meet the approval of the people giving me money wouldn't hurt. Thankfully, Mrs. Glaze continued without addressing the matter. "I feel confident in giving you this chance. Shall I introduce you to Jade?"</div>
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"Of course."</div>
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Mrs. Glaze leaned to peek through the nearby archway.</div>
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"Jade, come here sweetheart."</div>
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The three-year-old enraptured with her blocks in the other room only spared a brief glance in our direction.</div>
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"Jade."</div>
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Another prompting was necessary to get her on her feet and standing before us. She stopped upon seeing me. While she didn't stare warily, she glanced at her mother for instruction on how to react to a strange person being in her home.</div>
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"Jade, this is Cinnamon. She's going to be playing for you with a few hours, remember?"</div>
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"I want to go to 'venture House," Jade pouted, disheartened.</div>
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"That's this afternoon. Daddy is teaching his class, and I have to go to my meeting."</div>
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"But..."</div>
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"Hi, Jade. It's very nice to meet you," I joined in, leaning down for better eye contact. "My name is Cinnamon. You're going to have lots of fun this afternoon. I'm here to make sure you have lots of fun this morning. That's a whole day of fun. Doesn't it sound nice?"</div>
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Jade pondered for a moment before bouncing merrily. "Yeah!"</div>
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"What's your favorite thing to play? We can do that right now."</div>
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"Dolls! I tell you all their names. C'mon!"</div>
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Jade snatched my hand in hers and tugged for me to follow.</div>
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"Yes, I think things will be just fine. You two can go off. I'll finish getting ready and then say goodbye. Everything else you need to know is written in the notebook by the phone over here," Mrs. Glaze explained.</div>
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"That's perfect. I'll make sure to take a look as soon as I'm free," I laughed as now Jade was stuck to me incessantly.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxyBO6rSYy_bd1ggji8BqnP9RDiceygNetU3STCrkNPMWe_NAr030LwqUGwIRyl6JydKIwmNsb9_zEx8IuOrRii4wU-sKrCQ6_6XkLD4pnsUQaZw4dGbT1JEAXqJY_sAPjRLURadfJkFNQ/s1600/10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="896" data-original-width="1600" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxyBO6rSYy_bd1ggji8BqnP9RDiceygNetU3STCrkNPMWe_NAr030LwqUGwIRyl6JydKIwmNsb9_zEx8IuOrRii4wU-sKrCQ6_6XkLD4pnsUQaZw4dGbT1JEAXqJY_sAPjRLURadfJkFNQ/s1600/10.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Mrs. Glaze departed five minutes later. Jade moped momentarily at her going in the elevator without her. Then I read in the notebook to get her some outside time. Suggesting we move her dollhouse to the patio sent her reeling in delight. I got the gist Jade's parents preferred neat and orderly, so us putting her favorite thing vastly out of place tickled that toddler inclination for chaos satisfactorily. One similar aspect between mother and daughter though moved the conversation back to my choice of accessories.</div>
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"Where's your pink?" Jade wondered. She'd drawn incredibly close to my face, peering unblinking into my eyes.</div>
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"I'm Solid brown."</div>
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"Why wear that?" She pointed to my ribbons.</div>
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"Because my mom was pink. Wearing them makes me feel closer to her."</div>
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"Is she home?"</div>
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"No. She's...very far away."</div>
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"Where?"</div>
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I hesitated. My first problem arose already. Had Jade's parents explained to her at all the concept of death? Would they be upset if I explained it to her? Should I make something up, or was it better to distract Jade off the topic completely?</div>
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"She's...she's in heaven." I went with the best compromise I could find.</div>
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"Oh, I know heaven! I want to go there too. Maybe mommy take me tomorrow."</div>
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"No, it's a place you can only go to once. You don't want to go until you're super old."</div>
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"Yeah?"</div>
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"Uh, yeah."</div>
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"Why?"</div>
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And here I thought the hardest part of this job would be winning the approval of Jade's parents.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMEOj9lX_MvRsEr6hbPs92DJL8htIddEh9pqKVrkpBWNLN33qq0popnY7EfsQ4TnwMoBXOO_iVjfpC46abGc4F0pBQajnAIoUv1Jpjgu5xAMkfbj3KlzYN3u5hXAdyd2pKJjPNGvbNLLER/s1600/11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="896" data-original-width="1600" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMEOj9lX_MvRsEr6hbPs92DJL8htIddEh9pqKVrkpBWNLN33qq0popnY7EfsQ4TnwMoBXOO_iVjfpC46abGc4F0pBQajnAIoUv1Jpjgu5xAMkfbj3KlzYN3u5hXAdyd2pKJjPNGvbNLLER/s1600/11.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Not wanting to push the wrong buttons, the second tactic went into effect. I asked Jade to tell me more about her dolls, and she forgot about her question for good. Well, at least for the rest of the time I was with her. Describing Jade was difficult to do. We spent most of the first hour with her dolls outside. She spouted scenarios and events for them to live through in a constant stream. Was it her who was so creative, or was it all little kids? I couldn't remember so far back. Regardless, I loved every moment of the fun. Jade attached herself to me without hesitation. By the end of the second hour, I was being called her best friend. It made my heart flutter and ache at the same time. I fell for her too. Was this what it was like to care for someone like a sister? Was this a mere glimpse at what I could have had? It boggled me to think about it<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> how there'd been an entire other existence matching mine. How another had grown with me in the womb, and how we had had a bond unlike most could know even as infants who knew nothing.</div>
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And whatever that had felt like had been stolen away.</div>
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"You know," Jade babbled as we moved towards her room for her after-lunch nap, "you know, I'mma be a sister!"</div>
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This was a day for the world to attack all my thoughts, huh?</div>
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"You are?"</div>
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"Or a brother."</div>
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"What?"</div>
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"Mommy doesn't know if baby is a boy or girl."</div>
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"Oh, I see what you mean. However, you're going to be a sister no matter what. That's what you're called if you're a girl with a sibling. It's the baby who will be a brother if he's a boy, or, again, a sister if she's a girl."</div>
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"Ohhhh. You smart, Cinnamon."</div>
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"Thank you."</div>
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"Teach me more?"</div>
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"It's time for your nap, and I'll be going home before you wake. If you tell your parents you want to play with me some more though, I'm sure I'll be able to come back another time."</div>
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"I'll do that!"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuuL6yCptZ7zItJCNqGFr7NWlYZPl58ERD7atZPXQ7Lho6NBO0YQGAHVO2tDiKzNo97IGZFAQtMxjBK70tH8mVbzQ4mWsSIedwb8vcbwIbK8O7dzdJaNAk-rhXjx0-gVZyJdkSOCrXmS0F/s1600/12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="896" data-original-width="1600" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuuL6yCptZ7zItJCNqGFr7NWlYZPl58ERD7atZPXQ7Lho6NBO0YQGAHVO2tDiKzNo97IGZFAQtMxjBK70tH8mVbzQ4mWsSIedwb8vcbwIbK8O7dzdJaNAk-rhXjx0-gVZyJdkSOCrXmS0F/s1600/12.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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So far, so good. Mrs. Glade had been praising me before she had any real reason to do so, I checked off everything she wished for me to do on her list, and Jade was on my side. No doubt this would end up becoming a solid gig. If Mr. and Mrs. Glaze gave me good reviews on the website too, it could lead to a whole host of jobs that would have me never worrying about rent.</div>
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"Cinnamon, how is everything?" Mrs. Glaze wondered when she and her husband returned.</div>
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"Everything went well. Cinnamon got her outside time, we both exercised by dancing to the children's radio, and we had so much fun she didn't even ask to turn on the television. I got her to eat lunch with little complaints, and she's sound asleep for her nap."</div>
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"Perfect. Absolutely perfect. See, Forest? I told you there'd be nothing to worry about."</div>
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"I have no problem admitting I was wrong. Thank you for such wonderful work," Mr. Glaze chuckled, "and, it's nice to meet you, Cinnamon."</div>
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"It's nice to meet you as well, Mr. Glaze."</div>
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"Would you like a ride home?" Mrs. Glaze then offered.</div>
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"Thank you, but that's alright. My foster brother said he would come pick me up."</div>
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"There was a gray boy wandering about on the sidewalk. Would that be him?"</div>
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"Yes, that's Gravel."</div>
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"Well, we shouldn't keep him waiting, should we? Here you are, dear."</div>
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Mrs. Glaze pulled out her wallet. I opened my mouth to thank her, but those words fell silent seeing what she gave me. A ten dollar bill. Ten dollars for four hours of babysitting.</div>
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"Um, I don't mean to come off as rude, but the price was to be forty dollars for my payment."</div>
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"We, uh..." Mr. Glaze began confident only to stumble over his words. "No, I, uh, it was me who forgot to fill up the car. We had no choice but to stop for gas on the way home. Unfortunately, the station we like was having problems with their electronic readers, so we had to go inside to pay. They were only accepting cash at the time. We had to give them the other thirty of your payment to make sure we didn't stall at the side of the road."</div>
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"I don't have anything to do for the rest of the day. I'm sure Gravel is free too. We won't mind waiting if you could run to the bank. My foster dad said he could also cash a check for me, if that's more convenient."</div>
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"What...what about Tuesday afternoon? After school? Forest and I need Jade watched again then. You'll earn money from that, and we'll give you fifty dollars on top of that to make up for the inconvenience now. How is that?" Mrs. Glaze offered.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_8m2NaKdj1pOnTenzeNFKiJvtoZDtMctFtrJrGs6XRrWUOLGWClL0qA10UhfdAvIH1mN-P-eWXY5wS4TExZFOfBbTurKEVTcuv22mIcS6cg0hyiiQjtIf9A8c5nEldB8AbgKiS3yjdvh1/s1600/13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="896" data-original-width="1600" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_8m2NaKdj1pOnTenzeNFKiJvtoZDtMctFtrJrGs6XRrWUOLGWClL0qA10UhfdAvIH1mN-P-eWXY5wS4TExZFOfBbTurKEVTcuv22mIcS6cg0hyiiQjtIf9A8c5nEldB8AbgKiS3yjdvh1/s1600/13.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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A minute or two later, I exited the front door of the main lobby to find Gravel kicking a stone, walking to it, and kicking it back the other way. Not noticing me, I watched him repeat this several times until he finally glanced at the doors.</div>
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"Teaching that rock who's boss?" I teased, moving up to him.</div>
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"It dared to stand in my way," he bantered back. "So, how did everything go?"</div>
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"Babysitting Jade was fine. She's the sweetest thing, and I had a lot of fun with her. I thought Mr. and Mrs. Glaze were fine too, but..."</div>
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"But?"</div>
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"I'm pretty sure I got scammed," I pouted, pulling out the ten dollar bill. "They were supposed to give me forty. <i>Apparently</i>, their car really needed gas, but the place they went to just happened to have their card readers broken so Mr. and Mrs. Glaze had to use my payment instead. When I said we could wait while they went to bank or that they could write a check, they said they would give me even more money if I babysit Jade on Tuesday."</div>
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"That sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me. What did you tell them?"</div>
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"I...agreed. I don't think I should have, but I really do need the money. I've also been really distrustful of people since the incident happened with my dad and grandpa. Is it stupid that I'm having faith and hoping they were telling the truth?"</div>
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"What I think is that you're a good person for giving them the chance to prove themselves. <i>They'd</i> be stupid to disappoint you," Gravel encouraged.</div>
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"Thanks."</div>
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Before he could have the chance to protest, I wrapped him up in a big hug. He hugged me back without hesitation, even clutching me tight to lift me off the ground and make me laugh.</div>
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"Let me know if they screw you over again. I'll have none of that. I also put most of my money into savings, so I can spot you for the week if you come up short," Gravel said.</div>
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"Thanks again, but I'll be fine. Pieter's still under his punishment. He has to cover any shortage of mine for my first few weeks."</div>
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"Still, if you need help, let me know."</div>
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"I will," I smiled wide.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrkkRIofIle8-qjrULo1eF4zBH7EnIOxHSi0aFeNWBncoYaxN1lDAj5lCBdQyprwRhpyDTfQ9x4pDPSGDPGx6GGRZOdHWIxbnfs1qSjTjKQwKsnJjidd5hpbvktdbGQ9qgrg0KfAu41Jax/s1600/14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="896" data-original-width="1600" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrkkRIofIle8-qjrULo1eF4zBH7EnIOxHSi0aFeNWBncoYaxN1lDAj5lCBdQyprwRhpyDTfQ9x4pDPSGDPGx6GGRZOdHWIxbnfs1qSjTjKQwKsnJjidd5hpbvktdbGQ9qgrg0KfAu41Jax/s1600/14.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Having made sixty dollars from his efforts, Gravel treated us to a plate of cheese fries on our walk back to the warehouse. Conversation came once more without an awkward moment of pause to be found anywhere. I thought again of how much I mourned for the loss of the sister I should have, but my chest bounced believing I might have found a brother instead. Why would I want to go back to my hut now? Sure, Tulip and Cinnamon remained miserable, but I was beginning to feel more like I was lucky.</div>
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"Mmm, that's so bracing!" I gushed to myself.</div>
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Coral hadn't been around. Leo was though. I gave him my ten dollars, explained why I didn't have more, reassured him when his eyes narrowed at the Glazes' actions, and meandered toward the ocean for a moment to myself. A short ridge of rock created a pleasant shelf to splash in the water on the other side of the fence, but that would have to wait until next year. The water was freezing now. Did I miss swimming though! Summer couldn't return fast enough.</div>
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"Haha, you look happy."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_T_vq4AFs1MWn8RPpbqJgZhagisG2B38m4gAjE0XD2AXEbAFOeI9d3Bka4lzEG1uEH6gPgejvjtJTTD54FV8erFRncE1W7obmVDfoH_IrEgrKou8P4SxgPqqGIpPXjWvybKyX3xYGzBZ4/s1600/15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="896" data-original-width="1600" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_T_vq4AFs1MWn8RPpbqJgZhagisG2B38m4gAjE0XD2AXEbAFOeI9d3Bka4lzEG1uEH6gPgejvjtJTTD54FV8erFRncE1W7obmVDfoH_IrEgrKou8P4SxgPqqGIpPXjWvybKyX3xYGzBZ4/s1600/15.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I turned to face land, and Coral stood there watching me, amused.</div>
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"I love the water," I explained. "I never got to see the ocean though before I came here. However, I would have gotten the chance to go scuba diving."</div>
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"Oh?"</div>
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"Dad's work dipped into different departments. One of them was underwater exploration. I was working hard to go on an introductory dive hosted down south to explore some caves."</div>
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"That sounds like the experience of a lifetime. I'm sorry you don't get to do that now. Is that what you want to do when you grow up though? Be a scuba diver?"</div>
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"I don't know. I always assumed I'd end up working for dad's employer in some capacity, yet I hadn't chosen what I really wanted to pursue. My absolute favorite thing is dancing. However, that wasn't something that was needed."</div>
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"But you're good at dancing?"</div>
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"I like to think so."</div>
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"I'll have to find a way to get you to teach Leo. He's horrible," Coral laughed. She motioned me in closer and spoke softer. "I'll tell you a secret, this one time<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"</div>
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"Hey, you two!"</div>
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Jessamine, bolting our way, lost me my chance at the juicy secret.</div>
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"What is it?" Coral wondered.</div>
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"You're going shopping, right? I want to come with."</div>
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"We're going clothes shopping. I thought you didn't like that."</div>
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"I'm so sick of hanging out with all these boys, and you know Tulip and Cinny hardly want me intruding with their precious hang out time. I'll gladly come with you for clothes shopping, I'm so desperate for something different."</div>
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"I do understand that," Coral nodded.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOhDH8XSyU_1sjljNMYXkngepx5GZRJLhaMNHUPAK9WQLk9jaR6jt6-2mlqaBkuZEBTcOBYjyYtSo-JyebTRrBBKqu_KNDya2bPHyJTn6yoUceZe7eWpL-gscPWldppgsWwCUpvKoLONgr/s1600/16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="896" data-original-width="1600" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOhDH8XSyU_1sjljNMYXkngepx5GZRJLhaMNHUPAK9WQLk9jaR6jt6-2mlqaBkuZEBTcOBYjyYtSo-JyebTRrBBKqu_KNDya2bPHyJTn6yoUceZe7eWpL-gscPWldppgsWwCUpvKoLONgr/s1600/16.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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And so our duo turned into a trio. Coral ducked inside the warehouse to let Leo know we were off before we began our adventure. Jessamine chuckled at me trailing Coral like a duckling. It wasn't until this point where my leaping heart and bubbling chest revealed how excited I was for the outing. I'd never been shopping like this before<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> to go into a store not worry about someone asking me why I was there alone or counting each precious penny hoping I'd have enough. Each penny I saw on the street I did still pick up. It slowed us down some, but neither of the other two said anything.</div>
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"This is going to be fun," Coral remarked. "You'll be easier to shop for than Pieter and Jam too. They don't care what I buy them, but finding things in their colors can be difficult. It's much easier when a person is Solid."</div>
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"Actually, I was hoping...would be it be alright if we found some stuff with pink on it if we got that instead?"</div>
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After the potential scamming with Mr. and Mrs. Glaze, I was backtracking on my previous decision.</div>
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"Pink? If that's what you really want, I don't mind. You'll get more looks wearing clothes with pink than you will wearing your ribbons though."</div>
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"It'll be fine. Look at me. I don't care, and people get over it quick enough," Jessamine motioned to the blue on her jacket and her brown boots. "If they do care so much that they can't get over it, than they're people I don't want to be around."</div>
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"That's a good mindset. I agree," I supported.</div>
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"I'm even thinking I might look for something black today."</div>
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"Now, Jess..." Coral gave her a look.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfoOmfeJPbYGMk_rIL5jTIMVnLU2t8nfGDGLbGR_cbnJc9stcQcRl7BK3LUHuvgKtru-BLYL9sF3Q7LxHP-5-Z4FqOUqdSswJGxcMDJ_gzziqDON_KEY6EMFMZHg4KAaXvN7WcISVZxxso/s1600/17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="896" data-original-width="1600" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfoOmfeJPbYGMk_rIL5jTIMVnLU2t8nfGDGLbGR_cbnJc9stcQcRl7BK3LUHuvgKtru-BLYL9sF3Q7LxHP-5-Z4FqOUqdSswJGxcMDJ_gzziqDON_KEY6EMFMZHg4KAaXvN7WcISVZxxso/s1600/17.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Jessamine shrugged. Whether she was seriously about looking for black clothes or not, the opportunity didn't come. We were going to a store for girls my age, after all. Coral's eyes glittered like a child on Christmas morning stepping into the place. The place was pretty big and neatly organized by Solid color before going through the endless color combinations in the back. If Jessamine and I hadn't stopped her, Coral would have bought everything in the brown section regardless of whether or not it fit me. The problem also lay with that people were bringing in their summer stuff that was no longer needed. The pickings for warmer clothing weren't much considering that was what everyone else was shopping for. The three of us had a great time shifting through the racks and bins for items that would pair up well with multiple options. Luck struck with everything in the end. Coral got her two main objectives filled<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span> warmer clothes and better walking shoes. I got my pink. Jessamine got the compromised something she wanted when we stopped for a mid-afternoon snack of burritos.</div>
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"C'mon, girl. Flaunt it!" Jessamine cheered upon our return to the warehouse. She'd insisted I change to show off one of my new looks. Not used to such attention, I did a twirl and flicked my hair back. "So cute. I can see more of why Tulip dotes on Cinnamon. It's like having a living doll."</div>
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"I don't think I'm <i>that</i> cute." I squirmed, my cheeks tingling.</div>
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"You are. What I wouldn't give to be like you."</div>
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"What do you mean? You're really pretty, Jess."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM-EIJA_SCOAcwH3_C81acxVly4ui2SnMGAmS9uKv2-6GJqQTIzWQNE8FsVkeWIG2hnZxrZm-c1WzxGZRJnd5rLG3qYgceubYDG2fEBLWvQGsbLXhzRaoXmcAcreC4Rems-WPgUQZ7rgXk/s1600/18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="896" data-original-width="1600" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM-EIJA_SCOAcwH3_C81acxVly4ui2SnMGAmS9uKv2-6GJqQTIzWQNE8FsVkeWIG2hnZxrZm-c1WzxGZRJnd5rLG3qYgceubYDG2fEBLWvQGsbLXhzRaoXmcAcreC4Rems-WPgUQZ7rgXk/s1600/18.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I frowned at her waving me off.</div>
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"You don't like how you look?" I asked.</div>
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"It's more..." Her upbeat attitude faded. She slowly raised her hand to touch her scar. "I don't care about people looking at me because of my clothes. It's this that bothers me. I've used so many scar treatment creams, but none of them work."</div>
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"Does it bring back bad memories?" I guessed somberly.</div>
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"That's exactly it. I want to forget the disgusting people I came from, and I'm always so close to doing it. However, each time I look in the mirror or a random person on the street asks me what happened to my face it brings it all back. I was already leaving like my parents wanted. Why did my sorry excuse for a mom have to throw that glass at me?"</div>
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"I'm sorry, Jess. That's awful," I mumbled.</div>
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"Agh, I'm sorry. I don't meant to be depressing."</div>
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"No, no. It's fine." I stole another chance to make this 'family' into more of a family by attaching myself to her waist. "You can talk to me if you want. I don't know if it's worth anything either, but when I see you I don't notice the scar. I just see you."</div>
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Jessamine laughed. "You're seriously cute. Your family rejecting you are disgusting people as well. I'll have to spoil you a lot in their place."</div>
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"I guess I'm more charming than I realize," I giggled. "Coral, Gravel, and now you."</div>
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"You've got <i>Gravel</i> under your thumb?"</div>
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"I...I think so."</div>
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"Damn, girl. That boy doesn't speak to anyone. You've got some magic in you."</div>
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"I just talked to him about something more interesting than the weather. I think that's the kind of conversation he needs."</div>
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"Well, keep it up. It'd be great if he starts talking to the rest of us too. Why don't you go show your adorableness to him, actually?"</div>
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"I<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>"</div>
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Jessamine was already pushing me out the door.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuCdM01VPTnlY7DdUrSxWe3vbEXs5Y_b58AxB5-w7nT7x_kdDWRE0EtlRFq2UmK3oZPyhqAg-AMiOVun3kJncYSnI3bQ9G0lthtYLnv4cecoQkfQGQcapq4d0vLsZTRDK3EJR_VwD1TCKU/s1600/19.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="896" data-original-width="1600" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuCdM01VPTnlY7DdUrSxWe3vbEXs5Y_b58AxB5-w7nT7x_kdDWRE0EtlRFq2UmK3oZPyhqAg-AMiOVun3kJncYSnI3bQ9G0lthtYLnv4cecoQkfQGQcapq4d0vLsZTRDK3EJR_VwD1TCKU/s1600/19.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Unfortunately for her, Gravel wasn't around. He'd gone off somewhere at some point. Like usual, not a word was said from him to anyone. Coriander wasn't around either. Coral had shown Leo the outfits as soon as we arrived like a first-time mother buying her baby's first clothes. That only left the three boys outside, but I couldn't think they'd care about a new, used dress. I walked over intending to simply join their conversation. Jam raised his hand to wave at me, but that turned into him clapping his hands together and laughing like a little maniac when Pieter turned to see me, abruptly stood close, and planted a big kiss on my cheek.</div>
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"P-Pieter!" I pushed him back, flustered.</div>
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"What?" He grinned like a devil.</div>
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"Don't do that!"</div>
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"Is something wrong?" He now tilted his head innocently. "I already told you I thought you were cute. Your new outfits suits you so well, I couldn't help myself."</div>
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"Ooo, looks like we've got a new couple," Jam cheered.</div>
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"<i>No</i>," I denied, my cheeks burning more than ever. "Pieter's just being an idiot and teasing me."</div>
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"Isn't how they say a boy lets a girl know he likes her?" Skylar pointed out.</div>
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"If he's looking for a punch to the face, maybe. The idea of picking on someone to show affection is out-dated and ridiculous."</div>
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"I'm not picking on you," Pieter said. "I did think you are so cute that it warranted a kiss. Besides, weren't you the one who said people need hugs and affection? That that's how a family shows each other they love one another?"</div>
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"Oh, he said 'love.'" Skylar smirked.</div>
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"Hugs <i>only</i>!"</div>
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To that, Pieter crushed my lungs with the tightest embrace of my life. He seriously jumped on Jam to tackle him with an embrace as well, which prompted Jam to chase him around.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLbg4Vg77byj2XmRQACrkTWFlDVa46mG5TPMLU0vHmKCJ-J3mNolNnIxcqNOCfI27OqW6GdEJspvULaRJZHbyikOBkicFn2itwxEaUWFjausKiO4vBkzd6kaGfGlA0HepfyqIC6nVAW0I7/s1600/20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="896" data-original-width="1600" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLbg4Vg77byj2XmRQACrkTWFlDVa46mG5TPMLU0vHmKCJ-J3mNolNnIxcqNOCfI27OqW6GdEJspvULaRJZHbyikOBkicFn2itwxEaUWFjausKiO4vBkzd6kaGfGlA0HepfyqIC6nVAW0I7/s1600/20.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I sighed, releasing the unexpected tension and rise of emotions out through that long breath. Skylar glanced at me, glanced at the two crazies speeding around, and chuckled.</div>
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"Pieter can be a brat. We all can."</div>
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"I don't mind it that much. He just caught me off guard. It's true I said what I did, but even I'm not used to behavior like that from other people."</div>
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"To be fair, Pieter isn't good at saying things directly most of the time. He hides some of what he means in his teasing and pranks. I'm sure he does genuinely just find you cute."</div>
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"Everyone keeps saying I am. I don't know how to react to it." I scratched my head. "I'm just being myself. I don't feel like I'm that special."</div>
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"You're in a sucky situation like the rest of us, but you're like Cori. You're just more...normal. You actually know what it's like to have a happy home. You're bringing that love you learned with you, I guess. It's brightening up the place, you simply being you."</div>
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"I..." Gosh, if my cheeks weren't on fire now. 'I don't know if that's true."</div>
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"It is."</div>
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"Should I test it out?" I mumbled that more to myself, but, of course, Skylar would catch it.</div>
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"Huh?"</div>
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"I really like your eyes, you know," I revealed. Not just Tulip, what if I tried to kill everyone with kindness? "Your skin and hair is this darker blue, so your bright, azure eyes glow like a gem in sunlight."</div>
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"I<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">โ</span>" Skylar sputtered. My blush jumped from me to him, and he squirmed as I had.</div>
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"I guess you're right."</div>
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At his expression, I laughed yet another time this day. After a moment, Skylar joined in.</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1252320585902333922.post-86095180618092962102019-12-30T15:27:00.003-05:002019-12-30T15:27:17.901-05:00Happy 2020!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib7E-lseDvW4Ey-ClZPrpTlmjw4QdM04ufOrdkSvYctHTogUVcb7-JMGYeNiixtTlP3g66eMTp6NqTELidp6m1z6Qx2ql6JCVwXkTK8Bj-cgldJVvWIXLUaN1s8Xsz9LWEKh7g5vP7JT0P/s1600/NY+2020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="896" data-original-width="1600" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib7E-lseDvW4Ey-ClZPrpTlmjw4QdM04ufOrdkSvYctHTogUVcb7-JMGYeNiixtTlP3g66eMTp6NqTELidp6m1z6Qx2ql6JCVwXkTK8Bj-cgldJVvWIXLUaN1s8Xsz9LWEKh7g5vP7JT0P/s1600/NY+2020.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Happy Monday, everyone! I tried as hard as I could to have the next chapter ready for today, but with the holidays and an endless work schedule as soon as they were done, it just isn't anywhere near ready. I started to put together a short story instead, but it simply wasn't coming out in any form I could consider decent. Thus, I put together this little New Years picture for some sort of something, as there hasn't been a couples picture with the main three pairs yet. As always, click to enlarge for the bigger size and better quality. Thank you for your patience, and have a wonderful new decade!</div>
iKelseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10234106731872109485noreply@blogger.com1